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#1 2019-02-23 02:50:20

Kira
Guest

OFFICIAL JOKES THREAD

POST ONE JOKE!

LET ME BEGIN!

A Thompsonian went to police station to file "Missing Person report" for his WIFE

Husband : -I lost my wife, she went shopping hasn't come back yet.
Inspector : -What is her height?
Husband : -Average, I guess.
Inspector : -Slim or healthy?.
Husband : -Not slim, but probably healthy.
Inspector : -Color of eyes?
Husband : -Never noticed.
Inspector : -Color of hair?
Husband : -Changes according to season.
Inspector : -What was she wearing?
Husband : -Not sure, either a dress or a suit.
Inspector : -Was she driving?
Husband : -Yes.
Inspector : -Color of the car?
Husband : -Black Audi A8 with supercharged 3.0 litre V6 engine generating 333 horse power teamed with an eight-speed tiptronic automatic transmission with manual mode. And it has full LED headlights, which use light emitting diodes for all light functions and has a very thin scratch on the front left door... and then the husband started crying...

Inspector: -Don't worry sir,...We will find your car.

Wooted by:

#2 2019-02-23 03:14:42

Yu
Member
Joined: 2018-06-18
Posts: 292

Re: OFFICIAL JOKES THREAD

ONE JOKE!

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#3 2019-02-23 03:20:48

TaskManager
Formerly maxi123
From: i really should update this
Joined: 2015-03-01
Posts: 8,467

Re: OFFICIAL JOKES THREAD

anatoly


i8SwC8p.png
signature by HG, profile picture by bluecloud, thank!!
previous signature by drstereos













like.php?tid=46047&pid=754703

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#4 2019-02-23 06:46:50

Gosha
Member
From: Russia
Joined: 2015-03-15
Posts: 5,919

Re: OFFICIAL JOKES THREAD

A blind man walks into a fish market and says "Hello Ladies"

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#5 2019-02-23 12:22:48

Crybaby
Formerly minimania
From: Wilted
Joined: 2015-02-22
Posts: 4,730

Re: OFFICIAL JOKES THREAD

An acquaintance: So, what do you do for a living?
Me: I hunt and kill aliens for a living
Acquaintance: ...wtf? Aliens don't exist. What are you, mentally challenged?
Me: Have you ever seen any aliens before?
Acquaintance: No
Me: You're **** welcome m8


unknown.png
(Click to see my graphics topic)

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#6 2019-02-23 14:16:40

sxrrealism
Formerly Arizona0117
From: europe
Joined: 2018-06-08
Posts: 417

Re: OFFICIAL JOKES THREAD

relatively recently, i had my wallet stolen. i hadn't even realized it until i had got home from work to play some videogames, and that's when it hit me.
so, as a normal person, i went to the nearest police station and told them about it, until they asked me if i saw the face of the person who stole my wallet.
i told them that i didn't, and as such, i was forced to just go back home and cancel the cards that were in my wallet, but as it turns out, my bank had already done that as
the person who stole my wallet tried to go to the same bar as i do, and bought only one drink.


I fricking hate Stuart Little. I know what you’re thinking, this is some kind of funny joke, but no. Stuart Little is a piece of crap. A damn rat got picked over actual children at an orphanage and he’s supposed to be a hero? And I can’t even tell you how many damn times I’ve seen a great parking space only to turn the corner and realise Stuart Little is already parked there in his stupid little fricking convertible. He took my wife and the kids and my house and my job. I swear to fricking god, I’m going to kill myself and take that goddarn rodent to heck with me. Stuart Little has ruined my family. Last summer, I approached the miserable mouse in the street, and asked him for his autograph, because my son is a huge fan. The fricking rat gave me the autograph and told me to burn in heck. Later, when I gave my son the autograph he started crying and said he hated me. Turns out the mousefricker didnt write his autograph, no, he wrote “you’re a piece of crap, and i fricked your mom”. I’m now divorced, and planning a huge class-action lawsuit against the white devil that ruined my life. Your time is almost over, Stuart. All the people you’ve wronged will rise against you.

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#7 2019-02-24 08:09:53

Master1
Campaign Team
From: Crait
Joined: 2015-02-15
Posts: 4,426

Re: OFFICIAL JOKES THREAD

l2wJglD.png


nicktoot.pngnicktoot.pngnicktoot.png

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#8 2019-02-24 14:47:22

mikelolsuperman
Member
From: North Korea
Joined: 2016-06-26
Posts: 1,681
Website

Re: OFFICIAL JOKES THREAD

my name is jeff xd


Blue is my favourite color
BhC68b8.png

Signature made by Nebula

I also like lasagna, but not when it's blue

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#9 2019-02-24 20:26:35

Anatoly
Guest

Re: OFFICIAL JOKES THREAD

TaskManager wrote:

anatoly

Okay, Maxi, ...

i suggestsd to stop it but you just showed how dumb you can be, congratz

#10 2019-02-24 20:31:06

poopdublio
Member
Joined: 2018-11-15
Posts: 42
Website

Re: OFFICIAL JOKES THREAD

Anatoly wrote:
TaskManager wrote:

anatoly

Okay, Maxi, ...

i suggestsd to stop it but you just showed how dumb you can be, congratz

This is so powerful. TaskManager will never recover.


It's :clap: Spam :clap: If :clap: The :clap: Mods :clap: Don't :clap: Like :clap: It

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#11 2019-02-27 17:00:52

Anatoly
Guest

Re: OFFICIAL JOKES THREAD

poopdublio wrote:
Anatoly wrote:
TaskManager wrote:

anatoly

Okay, Maxi, ...

i suggestsd to stop it but you just showed how dumb you can be, congratz

This is so powerful. TaskManager will never recover.

What's wrong with you?

937ebd26ae06cd3763223d70b10530ed11fbd4c3bcb65620d386566d0f799bfb.jpg

#12 2019-02-27 17:50:36, last edited by 272 (2019-02-27 17:51:26)

272
Member
From: Everywhere
Joined: 2015-08-26
Posts: 330

Re: OFFICIAL JOKES THREAD

That feeling when you see a thread that starts with positive energy.

"Oh, how nice. This will surely bring a positive topic," I thought.

"Maybe I'll even get a laugh at some good jokes," I thought.

No, instead it's low quality memes and a flame war. //forums.everybodyedits.com/img/smilies/sad


Despite what people say, Different55 is the best mod.

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#13 2019-02-27 18:02:41

Gosha
Member
From: Russia
Joined: 2015-03-15
Posts: 5,919

Re: OFFICIAL JOKES THREAD

Anatoly wrote:
TaskManager wrote:

anatoly

Okay, Maxi, ...

i suggestsd to stop it but you just showed how dumb you can be, congratz

i suggest you to answer my questions in your AMA already :^)

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#14 2019-02-27 19:04:58

mikelolsuperman
Member
From: North Korea
Joined: 2016-06-26
Posts: 1,681
Website

Re: OFFICIAL JOKES THREAD

TaskManager:




Anatoly:
DOUC8Ot.jpg


Blue is my favourite color
BhC68b8.png

Signature made by Nebula

I also like lasagna, but not when it's blue

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#15 2019-02-27 19:19:48

TaskManager
Formerly maxi123
From: i really should update this
Joined: 2015-03-01
Posts: 8,467

Re: OFFICIAL JOKES THREAD

272 wrote:

No, instead it's low quality memes and a flame war.

Sometimes it saddens me that people tend to be so unnecessarily rude. https://wiki.everybodyedits.com/images/3/31/007_crying

anyway heres a cool joke i came up with some time ago

A man walks into a bar. The barman says "Welcome to Foo!"


i8SwC8p.png
signature by HG, profile picture by bluecloud, thank!!
previous signature by drstereos













like.php?tid=46047&pid=754703

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#16 2019-02-27 19:57:34, last edited by Luka504 (2019-02-27 19:58:01)

Luka504
Member
From: Serbia,probs never heard of it
Joined: 2015-02-19
Posts: 2,673

Re: OFFICIAL JOKES THREAD

Gosha wrote:

i suggest you to answer my questions in your AMA already :^)

I'm just waiting for him to update 'Tales of UwU'.
Anatoly, are you still busy?


How long will it take me to get banned again?
Place your bets right here.

Luka504.png

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#17 2019-03-01 15:05:42

Anatoly
Guest

Re: OFFICIAL JOKES THREAD

Luka504 wrote:

Anatoly, are you still busy?

Nope, not anymore, finally holidays, all exams are behind me.

#18 2019-03-01 15:51:24

Daneeko
Member
From: EE Universe
Joined: 2015-02-20
Posts: 2,189

Re: OFFICIAL JOKES THREAD

She sells seashells at the worst possible location


UzI5nBc.png

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Daneeko1551451884741603

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