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#1 2015-12-07 03:41:10, last edited by Pyromaniac (2015-12-08 01:18:43)

Pyromaniac
Official Caroler
Joined: 2015-02-15
Posts: 4,868

BREAKING NEWS: Mods cower under unrelenting attacks.

Area authorities are investigating another attack on the moderators after a user created yet another thread calling out the alleged "complete crap" of the current team.

This is not the first attack that has occurred in the past few weeks. Similar threads have come to light recently, accusing the moderators of abusing their power, or being too young to properly run a flash game consisting of jumping smiley faces (Jawapa- Child of the people? More on this story as it unfolds). No-one knows where exactly the attacks came from, or why exactly they occurred.


Moderators have mostly refused to comment, preferring to maintain their distance as per usual. But from what our reporters have been able to gather, they seem to be denying that there might be a grain of truth to this sudden and intense collective scrutiny.

One user cited "the old days" of Everybody Edits, even though sources indicate that there has never been a time in this local games lifetime when anyone has ever been content. Ever. Authorities are still questioning locals to verify the validity of this statement, but they told our man in the field that they were not hopeful about finding any conclusive evidence due to a phenomenon they called "nostalgia". In an official statement, officers said-

"We are investigating the attacks with every ounce of energy in our department. Right now, we are mostly concerned with why these people driven to such extremes. We currently believe that they are under the influence of something called "nostalgia". This is still an uncertain field, but our experts believe that when someone is infected, they are blinded to the truth due to an unrelenting desire to go back to "the good ol' days". Whether or not these "good ol' days" were actually better than their current situation is still unclear. We will keep you posted. Stay vigilant. "


How many more attacks will there be? The mods remain hopeful in the face of this disaster, all the while maintaining stoic superiority, never questioning that maybe this is what is driving the attacks in the first place.

-------------------------------------------------

NEW INFORMATION HAS COME TO LIGHT: According to long time veteran known as "Calicara", firm atheist and near college graduate: "I remember the good old days when worlds weren't private. There was no /inspect, /loadlevel, or Clear. Those were the days you could troll in peace without being caught by any scrub bucket nublets. Now there's all these fancy command doo dads. It's no wonder people are frustrated. When you don't have trolls to weed out the dead grass, it's gonna become overgrown and prevent the growth of flowers".

Her use of the word "doo dads" makes our analysts wary of her credibility, however. As well as their confusion as to what a "scrub bucket nublet" is. Experts are working around the clock to bring the public the meaning of this sure to be game changing terminology.


EVEN MORE INFORMATION HAS COME TO EVEN BRIGHTER LIGHT: Our sources in the field have told us that they were able to secure a statement from user "Zumza", known behind his back as "Zumza the buzzkill". He told our reporter "Something that happens often can't be a breaking news."

Needless to say, we're pretty disappointed with this information, as it contributes nothing to anything. Our analysts are also slightly confused as to why he even said it. Highly trained behaviorist P. Manyroic suggests that given the types of post users often see him make, its clearly due to some deep desire to nitpick and ruin the fun for everyone.

EDITED IN REAL TIME AS MORE INFORMATION SURFACES: User "Evilbunny" recently gave us permission to share his statement. He said "lmao at least we have mods, they don't deserve to be attacked"

After intensive research into the etymology of "lmao", we discovered that it is an internet slang term that is generally understood to mean "laughing my booty off". Paramedics have been called to the scene and are still in the process of assessing how badly Evilbunnys booty has indeed been laughed off. Critics of Evilbunny have gone public saying that he is using the social leverage afforded him by his injury combined with the timing of his released statement to hitch onto the publicity off of the tragedy of the moderator situation. More on this later.

Critics are also wondering how long a certain thread can keep going, and if it will simply get longer and longer with no end in sight. The author or this thread refused an interview but said to our reporter "Idk lol".


-Pyromaniac is a senior editor at horse kisses :^) press and is really sorry that this isn't funny but has nothing else to do so thats that.

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#2 2015-12-07 03:46:26

SirJosh3917
Formerly ninjasupeatsninja
From: USA
Joined: 2015-04-05
Posts: 2,095

Re: BREAKING NEWS: Mods cower under unrelenting attacks.

found hidden text
i got a habbit of doing that:

-Pyromaniac is a senior editor at horse kisses :^) press and is really sorry that this isn't funny but has nothing else to do so thats that.

Pyromaniac wrote:

Area authorities are investigating another attack on the moderators after a user created yet another thread calling out the alleged "complete crap" of the current team.

This is not the first attack that has occurred in the past few weeks. Similar threads have come to light recently, accusing the moderators of abusing their power, or being too young to properly run a flash game consisting of jumping smiley faces (Jawapa- Child of the people? More on this story as it unfolds). No-one knows where exactly the attacks came from, or why exactly they occurred.


Moderators have mostly refused to comment, preferring to maintain their distance as per usual. But from what our reporters have been able to gather, they seem to be denying that there might be a grain of truth to this sudden and intense collective scrutiny.

One user cited "the old days" of Everybody Edits, even though sources indicate that there has never been a time in this local games lifetime when anyone has ever been content. Ever. Authorities are still questioning locals to verify the validity of this statement, but they told our man in the field that they were not hopeful about finding any conclusive evidence due to a phenomenon they called "nostalgia". In an official statement, officers said-

"We are investigating the attacks with every ounce of energy in our department. Right now, we are mostly concerned with why these people driven to such extremes. We currently believe that they are under the influence of something called "nostalgia". This is still an uncertain field, but our experts believe that when someone is infected, they are blinded to the truth due to an unrelenting desire to go back to "the good ol' days". Whether or not these "good ol' days" were actually better than their current situation is still unclear. We will keep you posted. Stay vigilant. "


How many more attacks will there be? The mods remain hopeful in the face of this disaster, all the while maintaining stoic superiority, never questioning that maybe this is what is driving the attacks in the first place.




-Pyromaniac is a senior editor at horse kisses :^) press and is really sorry that this isn't funny but has nothing else to do so thats that.






Can't tell if this is a joke or serious.

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#3 2015-12-07 03:54:27, last edited by Calicara (2015-12-07 04:01:06)

Calicara
Member
Joined: 2015-02-16
Posts: 932

Re: BREAKING NEWS: Mods cower under unrelenting attacks.

"The good old days" "Nostalgia"

I remember the good old days when worlds weren't private. There was no /inspect, /loadlevel, /kick, or Clear. Those were the days you could troll in peace without being caught by any scrub bucket nublets. Now there's all these fancy commands. It's no wonder people are frustrated. When you don't have trolls to weed out the dead grass, it's gonna become overgrown and prevent the growth of flowers.


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I am obsessed with Steven Universe

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#4 2015-12-07 04:21:50, last edited by Pyromaniac (2015-12-07 04:22:56)

Pyromaniac
Official Caroler
Joined: 2015-02-15
Posts: 4,868

Re: BREAKING NEWS: Mods cower under unrelenting attacks.

This is obviously a serious issue, we would appreciate it if everyone treated it with the upmost severity.

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#5 2015-12-07 04:24:00

Schlog
Banned
Joined: 2015-07-21
Posts: 1,960

Re: BREAKING NEWS: Mods cower under unrelenting attacks.

Pyromaniac wrote:

This is obviously a serious issue, we would appreciate it if everyone treated it with the upmost severity.

I'm having a hard time figuring out whether that's sarcasm or not.

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#6 2015-12-07 04:39:41

AmdS
Member
From: Brazil
Joined: 2015-05-27
Posts: 2,384
Website

Re: BREAKING NEWS: Mods cower under unrelenting attacks.

I'm having troubles to figure if this thread is pure sarcasm or not

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#7 2015-12-07 16:15:57, last edited by Pyromaniac (2015-12-07 16:16:30)

Pyromaniac
Official Caroler
Joined: 2015-02-15
Posts: 4,868

Re: BREAKING NEWS: Mods cower under unrelenting attacks.

As we stated before, this is a serious issue, as is everything that happens in this game. Treating it with the upmost gravity is of the greatest importance.

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#8 2015-12-07 16:59:40

Insanity
Member
From: Douchebag Island
Joined: 2015-03-07
Posts: 1,123

Re: BREAKING NEWS: Mods cower under unrelenting attacks.

This is fantastic


Maverick: Started up on a 6, when he pulled from the clouds, and then I moved in above him.
Charlie: Well, if you were directly above him, how could you see him?
Maverick: Because I was inverted.

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#9 2015-12-07 18:22:04

Zumza
Member
From: root
Joined: 2015-02-17
Posts: 4,656

Re: BREAKING NEWS: Mods cower under unrelenting attacks.

Something that happens often can't be a breaking news.


Everybody edits, but some edit more than others

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#10 2015-12-07 19:56:17

Pyromaniac
Official Caroler
Joined: 2015-02-15
Posts: 4,868

Re: BREAKING NEWS: Mods cower under unrelenting attacks.

We appreciate your contribution, Zumza. It has been added to this ever changing story. We thank you for your highly valued information as we continue to bring the truth to the general public.

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#11 2015-12-07 20:43:24, last edited by Zumza (2015-12-07 20:44:44)

Zumza
Member
From: root
Joined: 2015-02-17
Posts: 4,656

Re: BREAKING NEWS: Mods cower under unrelenting attacks.

Media was always a tool for mass manipulation. My posts activates your subconscious.
Don't you agree Mr. P. Manyroic?


Everybody edits, but some edit more than others

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#12 2015-12-07 21:28:42

Bimps
Member
Joined: 2015-02-08
Posts: 5,067

Re: BREAKING NEWS: Mods cower under unrelenting attacks.

mods suck lol kek if i ran the game everything would be great

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#13 2015-12-07 22:09:22

Evilbunny
Member
From: The bottom of my heart
Joined: 2015-02-25
Posts: 1,276

Re: BREAKING NEWS: Mods cower under unrelenting attacks.

lmao at least we have mods, they don't deserve to be attacked


Evilbunny (in cursive)

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#14 2015-12-08 01:19:06

Pyromaniac
Official Caroler
Joined: 2015-02-15
Posts: 4,868

Re: BREAKING NEWS: Mods cower under unrelenting attacks.

Thank you "Evilbunny", your information is valuable.

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#15 2015-12-08 03:04:19

realmaster42
Formerly marcoantonimsantos
From: ̍̍̍̍̍̍̍̍̍̍̍̍̍̍̍̍̍̍̍̍̍̍̍̍̍̍̍̍̍
Joined: 2015-02-20
Posts: 1,380
Website

Re: BREAKING NEWS: Mods cower under unrelenting attacks.

poor mods lol they are attacked by bots HAHA or stupid people lmfao


http://i.imgur.com/bjvgH5L.png?1

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#16 2015-12-08 03:06:39

Bimps
Member
Joined: 2015-02-08
Posts: 5,067

Re: BREAKING NEWS: Mods cower under unrelenting attacks.

marcoantonimsantos wrote:

poor mods lol they are attacked by bots HAHA or stupid people lmfao

haHaHAHAHAHA

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#17 2015-12-08 04:58:58

!nb4
Formerly AYB
From: New In Package (NIP) Pole
Joined: 2015-07-18
Posts: 767

Re: BREAKING NEWS: Mods cower under unrelenting attacks.

wow. This is a nice news post.


ZCK0zcQ.gif

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#18 2015-12-08 09:03:10, last edited by Null (2015-12-08 09:05:36)

Null
Member
From: Canada
Joined: 2015-02-15
Posts: 263
Website

Re: BREAKING NEWS: Mods cower under unrelenting attacks.

Δ Pyromaniac = The Bruce newspaper CONFIRMED Δ


[only logs in here when drunk]
EE Pics
______

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#19 2015-12-08 21:26:00

Pyromaniac
Official Caroler
Joined: 2015-02-15
Posts: 4,868

Re: BREAKING NEWS: Mods cower under unrelenting attacks.

Unfortunately I'm not. That genius is still out there among us. Laughing. Laughing quietly. And then if we look at him pretending to be looking at something funny.

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#20 2015-12-09 03:00:52, last edited by iPwner (2015-12-09 03:12:52)

iPwner
Member
From: CaliforNYAN Land.
Joined: 2015-02-15
Posts: 1,514
Website

Re: BREAKING NEWS: Mods cower under unrelenting attacks.

Wow! This was so fascinating that I didn't even read it at all!
:^O


ssAARASAAAAAAAAA  iAAAAAAAAAAAAA OU yaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YAAAaa YAAaah; yaayaayaa, yayayaya-ya-ya YAAA YAAAYA; YAYAYA YAAHAYAhAAAAAAAAAA 


EPIOOOOOUUUUUUuuuuuu   IUO0O0oooooooooooppi

;3 0>o ~X_x~ <~(^V^)~> (); ;B ;~; *~<:',',',',',{ Q=(*@`)Q

Im A ®a®ity ®

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