BREAKING NEWS: Mods cower under unrelenting attacks.

Pyromaniac · 2015-12-07 03:41:10

Area authorities are investigating another attack on the moderators after a user created yet another thread calling out the alleged "complete crap" of the current team.

This is not the first attack that has occurred in the past few weeks. Similar threads have come to light recently, accusing the moderators of abusing their power, or being too young to properly run a flash game consisting of jumping smiley faces (Jawapa- Child of the people? More on this story as it unfolds). No-one knows where exactly the attacks came from, or why exactly they occurred.

Moderators have mostly refused to comment, preferring to maintain their distance as per usual. But from what our reporters have been able to gather, they seem to be denying that there might be a grain of truth to this sudden and intense collective scrutiny.

One user cited "the old days" of Everybody Edits, even though sources indicate that there has never been a time in this local games lifetime when anyone has ever been content. Ever. Authorities are still questioning locals to verify the validity of this statement, but they told our man in the field that they were not hopeful about finding any conclusive evidence due to a phenomenon they called "nostalgia". In an official statement, officers said-

"We are investigating the attacks with every ounce of energy in our department. Right now, we are mostly concerned with why these people driven to such extremes. We currently believe that they are under the influence of something called "nostalgia". This is still an uncertain field, but our experts believe that when someone is infected, they are blinded to the truth due to an unrelenting desire to go back to "the good ol' days". Whether or not these "good ol' days" were actually better than their current situation is still unclear. We will keep you posted. Stay vigilant. "

How many more attacks will there be? The mods remain hopeful in the face of this disaster, all the while maintaining stoic superiority, never questioning that maybe this is what is driving the attacks in the first place.

-------------------------------------------------

NEW INFORMATION HAS COME TO LIGHT: According to long time veteran known as "Calicara", firm atheist and near college graduate: "I remember the good old days when worlds weren't private. There was no /inspect, /loadlevel, or Clear. Those were the days you could troll in peace without being caught by any scrub bucket nublets. Now there's all these fancy command doo dads. It's no wonder people are frustrated. When you don't have trolls to weed out the dead grass, it's gonna become overgrown and prevent the growth of flowers".

Her use of the word "doo dads" makes our analysts wary of her credibility, however. As well as their confusion as to what a "scrub bucket nublet" is. Experts are working around the clock to bring the public the meaning of this sure to be game changing terminology.

EVEN MORE INFORMATION HAS COME TO EVEN BRIGHTER LIGHT: Our sources in the field have told us that they were able to secure a statement from user "Zumza", known behind his back as "Zumza the buzzkill". He told our reporter "Something that happens often can't be a breaking news."

Needless to say, we're pretty disappointed with this information, as it contributes nothing to anything. Our analysts are also slightly confused as to why he even said it. Highly trained behaviorist P. Manyroic suggests that given the types of post users often see him make, its clearly due to some deep desire to nitpick and ruin the fun for everyone.

EDITED IN REAL TIME AS MORE INFORMATION SURFACES: User "Evilbunny" recently gave us permission to share his statement. He said "lmao at least we have mods, they don't deserve to be attacked"

After intensive research into the etymology of "lmao", we discovered that it is an internet slang term that is generally understood to mean "laughing my booty off". Paramedics have been called to the scene and are still in the process of assessing how badly Evilbunnys booty has indeed been laughed off. Critics of Evilbunny have gone public saying that he is using the social leverage afforded him by his injury combined with the timing of his released statement to hitch onto the publicity off of the tragedy of the moderator situation. More on this later.

Critics are also wondering how long a certain thread can keep going, and if it will simply get longer and longer with no end in sight. The author or this thread refused an interview but said to our reporter "Idk lol".

-Pyromaniac is a senior editor at horse kisses :^) press and is really sorry that this isn't funny but has nothing else to do so thats that.

Hannah32, Erquerliet, cpcrabs, sammikat, AlphaJon, Schlog, Swarth100, !nb4, Prodigy, SilverStar, Krosis, W24, Stubby, Shadow, Calicara, Anch, Dazz, Pingohits, Null, Onjit, mrjawapa, Zoey2070, Processor, Deltaz, NegaStrife, KingFudge, Insanity, ttskate53, drstereos, Evilbunny, Nou, Minimania, Fastmapler, realmaster42, The Living SticK, Benje00, Zumza, Bimps

SirJosh3917 · 2015-12-07 03:46:26

found hidden text
i got a habbit of doing that:

-Pyromaniac is a senior editor at horse kisses :^) press and is really sorry that this isn't funny but has nothing else to do so thats that.

Pyromaniac wrote:

Area authorities are investigating another attack on the moderators after a user created yet another thread calling out the alleged "complete crap" of the current team.
This is not the first attack that has occurred in the past few weeks. Similar threads have come to light recently, accusing the moderators of abusing their power, or being too young to properly run a flash game consisting of jumping smiley faces (Jawapa- Child of the people? More on this story as it unfolds). No-one knows where exactly the attacks came from, or why exactly they occurred.

Moderators have mostly refused to comment, preferring to maintain their distance as per usual. But from what our reporters have been able to gather, they seem to be denying that there might be a grain of truth to this sudden and intense collective scrutiny.
One user cited "the old days" of Everybody Edits, even though sources indicate that there has never been a time in this local games lifetime when anyone has ever been content. Ever. Authorities are still questioning locals to verify the validity of this statement, but they told our man in the field that they were not hopeful about finding any conclusive evidence due to a phenomenon they called "nostalgia". In an official statement, officers said-
"We are investigating the attacks with every ounce of energy in our department. Right now, we are mostly concerned with why these people driven to such extremes. We currently believe that they are under the influence of something called "nostalgia". This is still an uncertain field, but our experts believe that when someone is infected, they are blinded to the truth due to an unrelenting desire to go back to "the good ol' days". Whether or not these "good ol' days" were actually better than their current situation is still unclear. We will keep you posted. Stay vigilant. "

How many more attacks will there be? The mods remain hopeful in the face of this disaster, all the while maintaining stoic superiority, never questioning that maybe this is what is driving the attacks in the first place.

-Pyromaniac is a senior editor at horse kisses :^) press and is really sorry that this isn't funny but has nothing else to do so thats that.

Can't tell if this is a joke or serious.

Calicara · 2015-12-07 03:54:27

"The good old days" "Nostalgia"

I remember the good old days when worlds weren't private. There was no /inspect, /loadlevel, /kick, or Clear. Those were the days you could troll in peace without being caught by any scrub bucket nublets. Now there's all these fancy commands. It's no wonder people are frustrated. When you don't have trolls to weed out the dead grass, it's gonna become overgrown and prevent the growth of flowers.

Norwee, Minimania

Pyromaniac · 2015-12-07 04:21:50

This is obviously a serious issue, we would appreciate it if everyone treated it with the upmost severity.

Schlog · 2015-12-07 04:24:00

Pyromaniac wrote:

This is obviously a serious issue, we would appreciate it if everyone treated it with the upmost severity.

I'm having a hard time figuring out whether that's sarcasm or not.

TaskManager, cpcrabs

AmdS · 2015-12-07 04:39:41

I'm having troubles to figure if this thread is pure sarcasm or not

cpcrabs, Prodigy, Yandax

Pyromaniac · 2015-12-07 16:15:57

As we stated before, this is a serious issue, as is everything that happens in this game. Treating it with the upmost gravity is of the greatest importance.

Insanity · 2015-12-07 16:59:40

This is fantastic

Zumza · 2015-12-07 18:22:04

Something that happens often can't be a breaking news.

cpcrabs

Pyromaniac · 2015-12-07 19:56:17

We appreciate your contribution, Zumza. It has been added to this ever changing story. We thank you for your highly valued information as we continue to bring the truth to the general public.

AlphaJon

Zumza · 2015-12-07 20:43:24

Media was always a tool for mass manipulation. My posts activates your subconscious.
Don't you agree Mr. P. Manyroic?

Bimps · 2015-12-07 21:28:42

mods suck lol kek if i ran the game everything would be great

Pyromaniac

Evilbunny · 2015-12-07 22:09:22

lmao at least we have mods, they don't deserve to be attacked

Pyromaniac · 2015-12-08 01:19:06

Thank you "Evilbunny", your information is valuable.

Evilbunny

realmaster42 · 2015-12-08 03:04:19

poor mods lol they are attacked by bots HAHA or stupid people lmfao

Bimps · 2015-12-08 03:06:39

marcoantonimsantos wrote:

poor mods lol they are attacked by bots HAHA or stupid people lmfao

haHaHAHAHAHA

!nb4 · 2015-12-08 04:58:58

wow. This is a nice news post.

Null · 2015-12-08 09:03:10

Δ Pyromaniac = The Bruce newspaper CONFIRMED Δ

AlphaJon, Fastmapler, some woman

Pyromaniac · 2015-12-08 21:26:00

Unfortunately I'm not. That genius is still out there among us. Laughing. Laughing quietly. And then if we look at him pretending to be looking at something funny.

iPwner · 2015-12-09 03:00:52

Wow! This was so fascinating that I didn't even read it at all!
:^O

cpcrabs, Norwee, drstereos

Official Everybody Edits Forums

#1 2015-12-07 03:41:10, last edited by Pyromaniac (2015-12-08 01:18:43)

BREAKING NEWS: Mods cower under unrelenting attacks.

#2 2015-12-07 03:46:26

Re: BREAKING NEWS: Mods cower under unrelenting attacks.

#3 2015-12-07 03:54:27, last edited by Calicara (2015-12-07 04:01:06)

Re: BREAKING NEWS: Mods cower under unrelenting attacks.

#4 2015-12-07 04:21:50, last edited by Pyromaniac (2015-12-07 04:22:56)

Re: BREAKING NEWS: Mods cower under unrelenting attacks.

#5 2015-12-07 04:24:00

Re: BREAKING NEWS: Mods cower under unrelenting attacks.

#6 2015-12-07 04:39:41

Re: BREAKING NEWS: Mods cower under unrelenting attacks.

#7 2015-12-07 16:15:57, last edited by Pyromaniac (2015-12-07 16:16:30)

Re: BREAKING NEWS: Mods cower under unrelenting attacks.

#8 2015-12-07 16:59:40

Re: BREAKING NEWS: Mods cower under unrelenting attacks.

#9 2015-12-07 18:22:04

Re: BREAKING NEWS: Mods cower under unrelenting attacks.

#10 2015-12-07 19:56:17

Re: BREAKING NEWS: Mods cower under unrelenting attacks.

#11 2015-12-07 20:43:24, last edited by Zumza (2015-12-07 20:44:44)

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#12 2015-12-07 21:28:42

Re: BREAKING NEWS: Mods cower under unrelenting attacks.

#13 2015-12-07 22:09:22

Re: BREAKING NEWS: Mods cower under unrelenting attacks.

#14 2015-12-08 01:19:06

Re: BREAKING NEWS: Mods cower under unrelenting attacks.

#15 2015-12-08 03:04:19

Re: BREAKING NEWS: Mods cower under unrelenting attacks.

#16 2015-12-08 03:06:39

Re: BREAKING NEWS: Mods cower under unrelenting attacks.

#17 2015-12-08 04:58:58

Re: BREAKING NEWS: Mods cower under unrelenting attacks.

#18 2015-12-08 09:03:10, last edited by Null (2015-12-08 09:05:36)

Re: BREAKING NEWS: Mods cower under unrelenting attacks.

#19 2015-12-08 21:26:00

Re: BREAKING NEWS: Mods cower under unrelenting attacks.

#20 2015-12-09 03:00:52, last edited by iPwner (2015-12-09 03:12:52)

Re: BREAKING NEWS: Mods cower under unrelenting attacks.

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