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Insanity

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From: Douchebag Island

Joined: 2015-03-07

Posts: 1,123

If you had to kill someone....

If you had to murder someone and hide the evidence, how would you do it and hide the evidence without it having any traces?

Don't worry, I'm not planning on killing anyone, but from all the detective novels and movies I've seen, I always wondered how many ways there are to not get caught committing such a serious crime.

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Maverick: Started up on a 6, when he pulled from the clouds, and then I moved in above him.
Charlie: Well, if you were directly above him, how could you see him?
Maverick: Because I was inverted.

Muftwin

Member

Joined: 2015-02-27

Posts: 535

Re: If you had to kill someone....

we never hear the story behind the best crimes

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ZOEY DOESNT ACCEPT ANYTHING

Freckleface

Member

Joined: 2015-04-02

Posts: 1,364

Re: If you had to kill someone....

hide the body on page two of google (it will never be found)

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F

Anak

Guest

Re: If you had to kill someone....

I've heard injecting someone with a syringe full of air like in the foot or something will mimic a heart attack and the person will die

hummerz5

Member

From: wait I'm not a secret mod huh

Joined: 2015-08-10

Posts: 5,854

Re: If you had to kill someone....

There would be a mark of some sort from the injection. I mean, people go for the feet to hide, but that's because you don't inspect the feet.
(Unless you're dead)

Really, the basics would probably do you in. Don't have a motive, don't leave a $$ trail, don't leave DNA...

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thanks HG, HG, HG, HG! anatoly, zumza! zoey!

mrjawapa

Corn Man 🌽

From: Ohio, USA

Joined: 2015-02-15

Posts: 5,840

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Re: If you had to kill someone....

Actually, you don't have to do it in their feet.  You could inject air anywhere into their blood stream and it would do the trick.

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Discord: jawp#5123

Calicara

Member

Joined: 2015-02-16

Posts: 932

Re: If you had to kill someone....

I think I would use poison for the death, liquidate the body with acid, and depending on the consistency flush it down the toilet, or throw it into a river/sewer.

The person would also have to be someone I've never seen/met, and they would have to be smuggled into a certain location which is in no way connected to me.

TBH not matter what though I'm sure something would get caught on a video camera anyway.

EDIT: And for the supplies, I'd burn them in a furnace.

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Avatar by RainDiance

I am obsessed with Steven Universe

0176

Member

From: Brazil

Joined: 2021-09-05

Posts: 3,174

Re: If you had to kill someone....

Can a karate chop to the side of their neck kill them if it's strong enough? I'm not a Mortal Kombat fighter or anything, just curious although in that case it'd have to be that strong.

mrjawapa

Corn Man 🌽

From: Ohio, USA

Joined: 2015-02-15

Posts: 5,840

Website

Re: If you had to kill someone....

Can a karate chop to the side of their neck kill them if it's strong enough? I'm not a Mortal Kombat fighter or anything, just curious although in that case it'd have to be that strong.

If you have cheat codes.

I would think if you got a lucky hit it could break their neck, or cause a brain bleed.

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Discord: jawp#5123

Calicara

Member

Joined: 2015-02-16

Posts: 932

Re: If you had to kill someone....

Can a karate chop to the side of their neck kill them if it's strong enough? I'm not a Mortal Kombat fighter or anything, just curious although in that case it'd have to be that strong.

If you have cheat codes.

I would think if you got a lucky hit it could break their neck, or cause a brain bleed.

It will work if you use the konami code.

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Avatar by RainDiance

I am obsessed with Steven Universe

The Party Animal

Formerly TPA2

Joined: 2015-07-10

Posts: 484

Re: If you had to kill someone....

put carpet over the floor to hide the blood cover the blood in paint find a broken tv take out the wires cut the persons boddy put the body in the tv so noone can detect it and then put a out of order on the sign then clean the knives and cut fish so the fishes blood can hide the human blood hide fingerprints. then change my name get my face changed and go back to school

Minimania

Moderation Team

From: PbzvatFbba 13

Joined: 2015-02-22

Posts: 6,396

Re: If you had to kill someone....

Simple. The greatest way for me to hide the evidence is to cannibalize the body. Of course realize that this is after I've cooked everything to a delightful crisp, added some nice beer batter, add in a little tomato puree, and of course top it off with some basil. Mmmm, delicious.

Yes, you can start running from me now.

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Pingohits

Banned

From: aids lizard

Joined: 2015-02-15

Posts: 7,591

Re: If you had to kill someone....

find someone entirely random in a different town, must be single and seperated from any relatives

book a small hotel with no cameras, and bring a travel brochure

buy gloves, a hatchet, and 2 other random items, preferably gear for cutting lumber

pay in cash

rest up for the day, and wake up at 7 in the morning

carry a generic backpack and ask the hotel attendants about your travel brochure

leave at 8

drive around aimlessly until you find a gas station

chat a bit with the employees and use the bathroom

get back into the car and go to a bike shop

buy a bike and pay in cash

come back to the hotel at 6 pm

rest up

wakey wakey at 2 AM

leave via back door

pedal to your murder destination

put on gloves and bring the backpack with you

knock on the door

when victim arrives, pretend to ask for directions

act like you don't speak english very well and pester the victim to draw it out for you

when he/she goes to get a pen and paper, prepare for the assault

when finished with assault, DO NOT TOUCH THE BODY

clean up the blood and anything that was broken

leave with your bike and go back to the hotel

rest

check out next morning, go back home and avoid the television and the radio (recent news of the murder will pressure you into turning yourself in)

DO NOT AVOID GOING OUTSIDE, instead act normal and chat with your neighbors about where you've been, but do not tell them the hotel name or address

act as if everything was fine

2 months later, police will give up on the case and you'll be free to wander wherever you like

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Anak

Guest

Re: If you had to kill someone....

murder murder

Is this going to be in the next brain decay

Anch

Member

Joined: 2015-02-16

Posts: 5,447

Re: If you had to kill someone....

KILL 'EM WITH HAPPINESS

0176

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From: Brazil

Joined: 2021-09-05

Posts: 3,174

Re: If you had to kill someone....

murder murder murder

The internet scares me.

hummerz5

Member

From: wait I'm not a secret mod huh

Joined: 2015-08-10

Posts: 5,854

Re: If you had to kill someone....

put carpet over the floor to hide the blood cover the blood in paint find a broken tv take out the wires cut the persons boddy put the body in the tv so noone can detect it and then put a out of order on the sign then clean the knives and cut fish so the fishes blood can hide the human blood hide fingerprints. then change my name get my face changed and go back to school

I'm guessing someone will notice new carpeting. But, I dunno. If you own the place, they'll be asking you all these questions. If you don't, someone else will hear you tacking the carpet... or realize the color of wall. Importantly tho, someone's going to notice a TV with a pool of blood around it, "out of order" or not.

Simple. The greatest way for me to hide the evidence is to cannibalize the body. Of course realize that this is after I've cooked everything to a delightful crisp, added some nice beer batter, add in a little tomato puree, and of course top it off with some basil. Mmmm, delicious.

Bones? Do you eat teeth? O.o

murder stuff

Just thinking here... you go to the trouble of establishing "Oh, I'm in this town for touristy things", what with the chatting up your hotel person and gas attendants. Why, then, do you bother paying in cash? I'd imagine the small-time hotel manager would remember the out-of-the-blue guy who paid in cash and then talked about the tourist things. (no cameras likely means they haven't had issues with robbery. Little robbery could be because there's no money there. Or, they really just have that few people. All the more to make you stand out). Imo, if you're trying to develop your reason for heading out of town, credit/debit would indeed leave a trail, but they would serve your purpose.

Don't touch the body, but let's get a hatchet and some intense tree-cutting equipment. What were those for? If you're leaving the body to sit, why clean up blood/broken things?
And your hatchet store probably has cameras. I feel like you saw the iFunny bit about doing murders. They mentioned spreading buying things out long periods in advance. If you did use the hatchet and tree equipment, they likely would connect the two and check to see if those had been bought recently. If the cameras at the hatchet store kept long enough records, and your victim was found relatively quickly (which is doubtful because you made sure they weren't immediately related), they could get a shot of your face. Start showing that around, they follow you to your gas station and hotel. You should hope the gas station didn't have cameras (they probably don't, I admit) or they might have your license plate number. Long story short, I'd suggest dropping the hatchet and picking up something blunt from the person's yard.

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thanks HG, HG, HG, HG! anatoly, zumza! zoey!

Creature

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From: The Dark Web

Joined: 2015-02-15

Posts: 9,658

Re: If you had to kill someone....

I would try to drown him/her in an empty beach and leave pretending nothing happened.

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This is a false statement.

Awesomenessgood

Member

Joined: 2015-08-06

Posts: 1,666

Re: If you had to kill someone....

Bury him in my garden and use the rotting body as fertilizer for the plants there

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lunchbox

hummerz5

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From: wait I'm not a secret mod huh

Joined: 2015-08-10

Posts: 5,854

Re: If you had to kill someone....

I would try to drown him/her in an empty beach and leave pretending nothing happened.

If the victim tried to fight you off, they'd likely claw some of your DNA pretty rough. (Idk if that would stick for a cruise through the ocean). If they didn't fight you off, then you didn't follow the "no motive" rule. You'll be in the list of suspects before you even come up with an alibi.

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thanks HG, HG, HG, HG! anatoly, zumza! zoey!

mrjawapa

Corn Man 🌽

From: Ohio, USA

Joined: 2015-02-15

Posts: 5,840

Website

Re: If you had to kill someone....

@pingohits you almost had a full proof plan.  However, upon walking up to the strangers door, you left a shoe mark in the mud.  CSIs traced the print to a particular shoe, which only 10 pairs were sold.  You just so happened to have been the last person to have bought those shoes, and you crack under pressure during interrogation.

/Tv Logic

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Discord: jawp#5123

hummerz5

Member

From: wait I'm not a secret mod huh

Joined: 2015-08-10

Posts: 5,854

Re: If you had to kill someone....

^He probably would've taken the sidewalk. I mean, trying to look normal as possible amirite? If he went out of his way to pick up a blunt object (my idea) then he would've left a print. Shoot. That's a pretty rough transition to make. Barefoot would be better than 10 shoes. BUT, then you're going to look deranged walking around muddy-barefoot. Best find the generic shoe. Or fill in the gaps of your shoes. #notreads

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thanks HG, HG, HG, HG! anatoly, zumza! zoey!

AmdS

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From: Brazil

Joined: 2015-05-27

Posts: 2,384

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Re: If you had to kill someone....

I think your post is too heavy for this Forum that one I did. What do you think might happen if some children see this? And the opinions of other how to kill someone? The children are giving suggestions on how to kill someone, my God...

mrjawapa

Corn Man 🌽

From: Ohio, USA

Joined: 2015-02-15

Posts: 5,840

Website

Re: If you had to kill someone....

I think your post is too heavy for this Forum that one I did. What do you think might happen if some children see this? And the opinions of other how to kill someone? The children are giving suggestions on how to kill someone, my God...

he really does have a point.

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Discord: jawp#5123

Anch

Member

Joined: 2015-02-16

Posts: 5,447

Re: If you had to kill someone....

I think your post is too heavy for this Forum that one I did. What do you think might happen if some children see this? And the opinions of other how to kill someone? The children are giving suggestions on how to kill someone, my God...

he really does have a point.

I doubt children (including me!) would go murdering people because pingohits gave them a plan.
If they did well... I would sue pingohits.