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#251 Before February 2015

Insanity
Member
From: Douchebag Island
Joined: 2015-03-07
Posts: 1,123

Re: c

BuzzerBee wrote:

Chapter 10: Another Bloody Love Story

       Benje, holding the gun, takes the aim off of Boh and shoots directly upwards. He beings to laugh, and soon after, Boh starts to laugh with him. "We did it, Boh," Benje says blissfully, "now we finally have this island all to ourselves." Boh runs and hugs Benje and kisses him on the neck. "Now, let's get to what we came here for," says Boh as she and Benje walk into a bedroom holding hands and smiling.

What the hell?

They killed their friends so they could **** each other?

Not a bad motive but a little extreme


Maverick: Started up on a 6, when he pulled from the clouds, and then I moved in above him.
Charlie: Well, if you were directly above him, how could you see him?
Maverick: Because I was inverted.

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#252 Before February 2015

Fdoou
Banned

Re: c

it's too late to question it, the ship has set sail

#253 Before February 2015

Anch
Member
Joined: 2015-02-16
Posts: 5,447

Re: c

So..... the story is done?
Now make that sequal

Master1 wrote:
P788 wrote:

I got this, they all died accidentally:
* MrShoe drowned (he can't swim)

* Stagecrew got hit by a rock

* Glenn got a heart attack

* Failgirl cut herself while trying to open the tap with a knife

* Reidolol tripped on the oven door, turned it on, set it on 900º, fell in it and passed out from hitting his head

* DC wore a Halloween hat while he was falling, had a head injury when he fell on the floor and died

* Theditor thought he was going to get killed and died from a heart attack when he heard the loud bang (probably some explosion or a thunder)

* Gka was on drugs and died of an overdose
so, clearly, this must be Final Destination EE version, they were all supposed to die from that lightning while on the boat, and now they are being killed one by one by Death, that's why Master1 said that he only had planned the order of the deaths and the murderer in the beginning, Death is killing everyone in the same order they should had died by the lightning

Wow... I so wish I had actually done that... Sequel time?

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#254 Before February 2015

Koto
Member
Joined: 2015-02-18
Posts: 3,269

Re: c

I hope you all realize that isn't 10.   I just read 10, and we are going to have to change things, because master1 forgot a bit in 9.


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#255 Before February 2015

Bimps
Member
Joined: 2015-02-08
Posts: 5,067

Re: c

i wish that this was easier to read and didnt have really sterotypical writing

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#256 Before February 2015

Fdoou
Banned

Re: c

^ because there are stereotypes for writing

#257 Before February 2015

Koto
Member
Joined: 2015-02-18
Posts: 3,269

Re: c

Oh, so the text is colored so you start bringing up stereotypes?   Get it together, guys //forums.everybodyedits.com/img/smilies/tongue


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#258 Before February 2015

Master1
Member
From: Crait
Joined: 2015-02-15
Posts: 4,452

Re: c

OKAY U NUBS WHO CAN'T WAIT. IF YOU WANNA READ CHAPTER 10. YOU GOTTA DEAL WITH EYE PAIN.


nicktoot.pngnicktoot.pngnicktoot.png

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#259 Before February 2015

222hockey222
Guest

Re: c

I thoroughly enjoyed this story. You and koto did a fine job on the plot, and master1, you have excellent writing skills.

I do think this story was much better having to wait days for each new chapter, because you had time to think over it. It wouldn't be the same reading it in 5 minutes. Congratulations on finishing it.

#260 Before February 2015

tak4n
Member
Joined: 2015-02-17
Posts: 1,883

Re: c

Quickly, everyone remove benje from your friend lists


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#261 Before February 2015

Buzzerbee
Forum Admin
Joined: 2015-02-15
Posts: 4,575

Re: c

WHO IS BIG "S"?

COULD IT BE...

SBEAM?

:O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O


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https://wiki.everybodyedits.com/images/5/5d/135_bee

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#262 Before February 2015

Bimps
Member
Joined: 2015-02-08
Posts: 5,067

Re: c

BuzzerBee wrote:

WHO IS BIG "S"?

COULD IT BE...

SBEAM?

:O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O

bimpS

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#263 Before February 2015

tak4n
Member
Joined: 2015-02-17
Posts: 1,883

Re: c

BuzzerBee wrote:

WHO IS BIG "S"?

COULD IT BE...

SBEAM?

:O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O

Pretty sure this is irrelevant to the story at this point. Pretty sure maSter1 did that to keep us interested/keep us guessing. I doubt it will come to play in the future.


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#264 Before February 2015

Onjit
Member
Joined: 2015-02-15
Posts: 9,710
Website

Re: c

S stands for sequel


:.|:;

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#265 Before February 2015

Noctis
Guest

Re: c

What a sucker punch. Hopefully no sequel, cuz #spoiledbrat I am, I need reception for "Loop"

What duz dat mean

M1's story = 10/10

#266 Before February 2015

Arceus64
Guest

Re: c

I think the biggest question of this story is how did Benje pick up a New York accent at the end

#267 Before February 2015

Mac and Cheese
Guest

Re: c

"I realized that murdering all these people was somewhat enjoyable." I hope that's not why most of the murders happen in real life.

#268 Before February 2015

Benje00
Member
From: BenjeLand
Joined: 2015-02-17
Posts: 587

Re: c

Arceus64 wrote:

I think the biggest question of this story is how did Benje pick up a New York accent at the end

Eyyyyyy, fuhgeddaboudit.
I didn't really see myself as being the killer   It doesn't really make that much sense.   I did want to get rid of MrShoe because of what he did to EE, about the other people,   I wouldn't just kill them for no good reason.   I seem the least likely out of all of you to murder someone and I would not just kill people because it's enjoyable. //forums.everybodyedits.com/img/smilies/smile

I liked Buzzer's Chapter 10 better. //forums.everybodyedits.com/img/smilies/wink

Great story, M1 and Koto; hope you do another one like this.

Last edited by Benje00 (Jun 22 2014 8:47:36 am)

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#269 Before February 2015

Fdoou
Banned

Re: c

Benje totally should have been mute in the story

#270 Before February 2015

Benje00
Member
From: BenjeLand
Joined: 2015-02-17
Posts: 587

Re: c

Fdoou wrote:

Benje totally should have been mute in the story

I tried to stay mute on this topic/forums because I thought it would be me. //forums.everybodyedits.com/img/smilies/cool

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#271 Before February 2015

Fdoou
Banned

Re: c

//forums.everybodyedits.com/img/smilies/cool:cool::cool::cool::cool::cool::cool::cool: yeessss fantastic

#272 Before February 2015

Anch
Member
Joined: 2015-02-16
Posts: 5,447

Re: c

Wow.... who is Big S? Sequel time?

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#273 Before February 2015

Creature
Member
From: The Dark Web
Joined: 2015-02-15
Posts: 9,658

Re: c

Ill add a needed epilogue.

After leaving the island, Benje00 feel depressive and write in a lot of papers: Why i did this? A day, one of Benje00's friend joined his world and saw Benje00 at a rope, the room was filled with papers he wrote..


This is a false statement.

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#274 Before February 2015

Bimps
Member
Joined: 2015-02-08
Posts: 5,067

Re: c

Creature wrote:

Ill add a needed epilogue.

After leaving the island, Benje00 feel depressive and write in a lot of papers: Why i did this? A day, one of Benje00's friend joined his world and saw Benje00 at a rope, the room was filled with papers he wrote..

translated into english:
After leaving the island, Benje00 felt depressed he killed everyone and wrote a lot of suicide notes. Why did he do this? One day, one of Benje00's friend visited him and saw Benje00 hanging by a rope, with a chair to the side. The room was filled with his suicide notes...

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#275 Before February 2015

Koto
Member
Joined: 2015-02-18
Posts: 3,269

Re: c

Highlight text for some interesting Tidbits:

| Theditor was going to die at the end of either chapter 5 or 6, not 7
| There was going to be a bigger buildup of the killer being boh, up to chapter 10.
| The secret passage that was in Boh/Honey/Failgirls room was under Boh's bed.   We forgot about that part when making 9.
| Big S is most definitely RPGMaster.   Yes, we made a story about Benje the secret mod killing MrShoe, then going on a rampage all in the name of the superman smiley.
| Of all the ways to explain Reidolol's death, him crawling into the oven to retrieve a Quarter he spotted was the my favorite.
| There was never any question between Me and Master1 that Stagecrew would die first.   We just decided it made sense, plus we wanted to get a little humor out of reid, which was used very poorly in the actual story.
| I had suggested that in chapter 9, honey would have gotten so fearful for her life, that she would kill herself to take control over her death.   Master1 did not like this at all, but I think it would have been exciting.
| I think it would have been better if GK had been afk for like half the story, and no body ever brought it up in the actual story.
| Linus21 was going to be in the story, but we swapped him for failgirl, because we thought more people now would know and have experience dealing with her, rather than him.   The troll was never going to be the killer.
| We never had a plan on when we would reveal MrShoe died.   At one point, it wasn't going to be explained until Benje's speech at the end.


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