Official Everybody Edits Forums

killableKhan52

Anonymous user

ways to cope with loss

It's been some years now, and I've lost my sister. She and I were best friends and i loved her very much. I miss her, very much. Every day since the loss I cannot stop thinking about what I had, and now what I no longer have. I'm making this topic to ask if any of you have any great coping mechanisms that could help me through this. I've been working hard to not fall into a slump, but every so often I can feel myself slipping through the cracks, and right now, especially now, is one of those times, because it's getting close to the 4th anniversary of the loss.

Enabling anonymity for obvious reasons, though if you wish to disrespect my wish to remain anonymous in this topic, I suppose you can try to find out who I am. It won't matter either way.

Vile Villain

Anonymous user

Re: ways to cope with loss

question why is this annonymous?

killableKhan52

Anonymous user

Re: ways to cope with loss

Because this is personal information Peace.

moist-voter

Anonymous user

Re: ways to cope with loss

My own mom deals with this problem and she still can't cope with the fact that her own mom is dead even thought it's been like 20 years since she died of disease. I find it really annoying how some people keep complaining about loss and bring everyone else down. You can't bring back the dead, just accept it.
I'm not saying grieving is a bad thing, but at some point it's got to stop.

killableKhan52

Anonymous user

Re: ways to cope with loss

My own mom deals with this problem and she still can't cope with the fact that her own mom is dead even thought it's been like 20 years since she died of disease. I find it really annoying how some people keep complaining about loss and bring everyone else down. You can't bring back the dead, just accept it.
I'm not saying grieving is a bad thing, but at some point it's got to stop.

I'm not saying that I can't cope. I've been coping better recently than I did when it happened, but I'm just looking for better ways to.

Soldier1

Anonymous user

Re: ways to cope with loss

My father died 1 and a half years ago, leaving basically parentless since I hadn't had contact with my abusive mother in years. I still get around fine in life because I know he would never want me to stop and paralyze myself by mourning for him. I just got on with my life. I guess an advice I have for you is to look ahead. My past was not very pleasant to live, but I don't let it define me. I know he'd be proud of me today if he were here, so it motivates me. I lost most of my prized possessions because I had to move very quickly after his death partially due to my crazy mother's mother finding me. It kinda gives me a complex where I hold on to stuff a lot and spend a bit too much on repurchasing stuff I had to part with, but I'm starting to get to a point where I feel truly at home.

That doesn't mean your sister would be disappointed in you, but I think she'd be more sad you're still dealing with her loss than she'd be at what happened. You never truly go back to normal, but you learn to adapt to a new normal and take solace in it, even if you wish you could have the old normal back. I may appear to be doing really well, but I still most likely have some form of PTSD and more from what I've experienced in my life.

An acquaintance whom I was friendly with and his mother ended up dying in a car crash a few months ago, devastating a lot of family and family friends. My grandmother is constantly losing weight in the nursing home she's in, and they have suggested to just make her comfortable and let her pass in peace. My aunt has numerous health issues and can't even walk anymore. Two members of my family had major surgeries, and the same cancers that have hit so many others in my family will most likely hit me at some point. It's hard to live with so much doom both impending and impacting within such a short span of time, but I feel I would be doing the people I mourn for a disservice if I didn't keep going. That's a flaw on my part, but the truth is I wouldn't want anybody to feel like they have to mourn for me. I'd want them to be able to move on. I'm sure your sister would think the same thing.

I still feel like a failure because I'm not some multi-billionaire CEO, an amazing scientist, etc. when everyone I know says that I have the potential to become that one day and how I'm very bright and whatnot, but I'm at least happy I'm making due progress and may one day do something worthwhile.

If you do want to know who I am, I'll post it. I didn't get through what I did without help and people opening up to their losses.