How to argue on the forums

Tomahawk · 2018-02-05 15:36:53

Do you have trouble winning arguments you shouldn't? Does the thought of constructing a logical argument scare you?

Well fear not, because I'm gonna show you how to win an argument without making a single rational point:

Step 1 - Cherry picking:
Carefully read through your opponent's post until you find something only slightly relevant to the big picture. Quote this line and disagree with or disprove it, making it clear that the entirety of the opponent's argument is now invalid.

Step 2 - Ad hominem:
Criticise your opponent. His arguments don't matter if he's a nub.

Step 3 - Missing the point:
Quote and argue every sentence of the opponent's argument separately. If he doesn't do the same, you've won.

Step 4 - Dead cat:
Say something irrelevant. If it distracts the other guy, he's off-topic and you've won.

Step 5 - False rhetoric:
Use any of the following fallacies to win:

Safety in numbers: Everyone else does it; why shouldn't you?
Change is bad: It's always been that way, so it must be good.
Oversimplify: "So you're saying that..."
False dilemma: Pretend there's only two options to choose from.
False correlation: A and B happened at the same time, so A must have caused B.
Slippery slope: "If we allow XYZ to happen/continue, next thing you know we'll be..."
Non sequitur: Literally just connect any random events and call it logic.
The part represents the whole: "This mod did <bad thing>, so the whole leadership must therefore be <over-the-top outcome>."

Step 6 - Talk to the hand:
Ignore anything you can't argue against. If the opponent does the same, you've won.

Step 7 - Oh look, a squirrel:
Change the subject.

Step 8 - Dead end:
Leading on from Step 7 - argue about something else so passionately that once this new argument finishes, everyone else is so far from the original argument that once you get back on topic, nobody wants to argue anymore. You win.

Step 9 - M'lady:
Find a thesaurus. Your opponent can't argue your post if he can't read it.

Step 10 - TL;DRewind:
Have you backed yourself into a corner? Put a TL;DR after Step 9 and use it to change your original argument.

Step 11 - Drama queen:
Get 10 other people and start spamming. Your opponent can't win if he quits EE.

Step 12 - Missing defendant:
You can't lose the argument if you're not there to argue it. (This does not contradict Step 11.)

Step 13 - Over the page:
If you're losing, keep posting. Nobody reads the posts on the previous page, so they don't matter.

Step 14 - End of:
Lock the thread. You win.

TundrumMax, SirJosh3917, TaskManager, Luka504, mutantdevle, LukeM, some woman, Zoey2070, Harmonious, hummerz5, BuzzerBee, Pingohits, Xfrogman43, IanJanes, skullz17, Zumza, Different55, minam

SirJosh3917 · 2018-02-05 15:55:52

Tomahawk wrote:

Find a thesaurus. Your opponent can argue your post if he can't read it.

I find this statement to be inherently incorrect as it should be immensely difficult to argue upon conceiving a thesaurus.

Offensive Ray · 2018-02-05 17:10:05

thanks a lot now i know how to write!

TaskManager · 2018-02-05 17:35:31

ninjasupeatsninja wrote:

Tomahawk wrote:
Find a thesaurus. Your opponent can argue your post if he can't read it.
I find this statement to be inherently incorrect as it should be immensely difficult to argue upon conceiving a thesaurus.

that doesnt matter youre a nub

Tomahawk, BuzzerBee, Zumza

IanJanes · 2018-02-05 17:37:28

Not sure If I agree with this, but I do understand your point. Perhaps this tutorial Is a way of discussing how the community acts, and it's outlook on post's they disagree with. So yes, I agree with the point, but not the fact that you didn't discuss It. But that's just my two sense, but awesome work!

-With regards, Ian

Harmonious · 2018-02-05 17:37:39

^how you REALLY argue on the forums

Edit: Ian sniped me

IanJanes

some woman · 2018-02-05 20:20:10

(This is a playful post that uses each of the fallacies in order, don't take it seriously)

Personally, I found these shortcuts very useful, and cannot believe you are trying to satirize them.

Tomahawk wrote:

Do you have trouble winning arguments you shouldn't?

Are you saying arguments are not to be won? The entire point of argumentative thinking is to prove that your side is correct and the other point is not. Given how you're too nub to understand the difference between the PRE tag and the CODE tag, I don't personally believe anything you say can be right, but I'll make sure nobody else is misguided by your thinking.

Tomahawk wrote:

Step 3: Missing the point:
Quote and argue every sentence of the opponent's argument separately. If he doesn't do the same, you've won.

Why shouldn't I? This is the best way to argue with a person; to take out all their phony, twisted lies one by one. Everyone else argues like this, so why don't you? We've been making so-called "dumb" arguments since the start of this forum, so there's no reason we should stop. In fact, if we sum it all up, you're saying that we shouldn't have arguments, and this is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. There's only two options here: put up with your whining and tell everyone not to use these shortcuts, or keep arguing as we do always. Not only that, but remember when N1KF posted this topic named "Unproductive posts", that was just another guide telling people what not do in arguments? Well, right after that, he posted that he's "aimlessly doing nothing in my life~", proving that anyone stupid enough to make one of these guides is misguided and has no purpose in the grand scheme of things. If we allow people to keep making up these artificial conversation guidelines to stop hurting people's feelings, next thing you know we'll be banning anyone who says the word "no". EE and its forums were made for people to have a good time and create things together, now thanks to our actions we've ruined 2017 for everyone. With your claim that the part represents none of the whole, this whole guide is likely just an excuse for you to boss people around and not have your idiocy assigned to the forums in general. I think it's stupid that Everybody Edits recently blocked people without accounts from playing. Why? There's no reason for them to, aside from minor server issues. I see it as another elitist barricade preventing new players from ever being regarded as highly as old players. Sure, the developers are just people, and nobody wants to pay for servers that don't bring them enough money anymore, but this predilection toward associating newcoming bourgeois with imbecilic ignoramuses is customarily dissatisfactory. TL;DR EE team needs to beef up the servers to allow for more guests. If you're so persistent on disagreeing with me, then talk to several friends of mine who think the same way as I do. I'll be going on vacation in a short while, but I'll make sure to post as frequently here as I need to, to prove your sheer lack of intellect. And remember: who has full access to the "flag" feature?

Tomahawk

Zoey2070 · 2018-02-05 20:33:46

step 12 is what i do to be honest

Tomahawk · 2018-02-05 20:34:19

^ Ahh, my thanks to some man for kindly demonstrating Step 15 - write a long post while ignoring paragraph spaces entirely, so that nobody wants to read your argument. You win.

This is loosely related to Step 16, in which your English becomes so bad that it's unreadable. Your post can't be argued, so you win.

Xfrogman43, Zumza

Pingohits · 2018-02-05 22:15:21

I like how each step gets progressively absurd

Raphe9000 · 2018-02-05 23:20:57

ur wrong

Official Everybody Edits Forums

#1 2018-02-05 15:36:53, last edited by Tomahawk (2018-02-05 20:27:20)

How to argue on the forums

#2 2018-02-05 15:55:52, last edited by SirJosh3917 (2018-02-05 15:56:34)

Re: How to argue on the forums

#3 2018-02-05 17:10:05

Re: How to argue on the forums

#4 2018-02-05 17:35:31

Re: How to argue on the forums

#5 2018-02-05 17:37:28

Re: How to argue on the forums

#6 2018-02-05 17:37:39, last edited by Harmonious (2018-02-05 17:46:12)

Re: How to argue on the forums

#7 2018-02-05 20:20:10

Re: How to argue on the forums

#8 2018-02-05 20:33:46

Re: How to argue on the forums

#9 2018-02-05 20:34:19

Re: How to argue on the forums

#10 2018-02-05 22:15:21

Re: How to argue on the forums

#11 2018-02-05 23:20:57

Re: How to argue on the forums

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