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Anatoly

Guest

Joke topic

No the topic is not a joke! It's about jokes

▼Take mine!

Grand-Pa: Does your father likes the new fridge, Tom?
Tom: I don't know, he still didn't came out.

In the Salad bar...
Customer: I am waiting already one hour, and you brought me this small salad portion?
Seller: Sorry, but the portions we have aren't bigger
Customer: And it doesn't look freshly, too
Seller: But then it's good, that the portions are not so big.

OWM (Old wise man) and RS (Russian soldier) meet in the street...
OWM: Hello Soldier! From which country is your military?
RS: From French.
OWM: And in which city?
RS: Novosibirsk.
OWM: But that's in Russia! And French is not Russia!
RS: But the people with a higher rank said it's 13 Minutes till Paris.

Joke meaning:  Nuclear rockets fly with a speed of 100 metres per second.

Mem: Does a long ship like it often goes down?
Captain: But no of course! Once it goes down, it won't go up.

Simon: Have you heard of the new University, you can win there every day one Spyglass
Max: Funny, who nees a spyglass every day?

Father: Have you finished the main test?
Son: Yes, they were so glad, that i can repeat the test next year#

Joke meaning: He didn't it

Missis Weber: Missis Franken, your cat has killed my dog!
Missis Franken: My small cat? But how did she do it?
Missis Weber: The dog was choked by the cat

Do you have more jokes? Political etc.?

PLEASE NOTE: Forum Rules apply in this topic as Default, so put a spoiler for long posts or jokes with swearing!

TaskManager

Formerly maxi123

From: i really should update this

Joined: 2015-03-01

Posts: 9,465

Re: Joke topic

the quality of your jokes is a joke
that could be a metajoke?

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Kikikan

Member

From: Hungary

Joined: 2015-08-10

Posts: 204

Re: Joke topic

Dark Humor:

▼Hidden text

Dark humour is like food, not everyone gets it.

Do you know what's the difference between Isaac Newton and that baby, who was stabbed to death by me?
...
Newton died as a virgin.

Do you know why did Princess Diana cross the road?
...
She wasn't wearing seatbelts.

Puns:

▼Hidden text

Do you know what is brown and sticky?
...
A stick.

What's a penguin's favourite game?
...
Ice-spy

I wondered why the baseball is getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He is all right now.

I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind...

I wasn't originally going to get a heart transplant, but then I had a change of heart.

Have you ever tried eating a clock? It is very time consuming...

I know I have a bad sense of humor, don't judge me. Please.

capasha

Member

Joined: 2015-02-21

Posts: 4,066

Re: Joke topic

There's already more topics about jokes, and it's in forum game.
http://forums.everybodyedits.com/viewtopic.php?id=35545

Make sure to not repeat again.

Are you a new Forum mod?

Kikikan

Member

From: Hungary

Joined: 2015-08-10

Posts: 204

Re: Joke topic

There's already more topics about jokes, and it's in forum game.
http://forums.everybodyedits.com/viewtopic.php?id=35545

Make sure to not repeat again.

Did you know that before that thread, there were other joke threads?
Make sure not to repeat again.

realmaster42

Formerly marcoantonimsantos

From: ̍̍̍̍̍̍̍̍̍̍̍̍̍̍̍̍̍̍̍̍̍̍̍̍̍̍̍̍̍

Joined: 2015-02-20

Posts: 1,380

Website

Re: Joke topic

There's already more topics about jokes, and it's in forum game.
http://forums.everybodyedits.com/viewtopic.php?id=35545

Make sure to not repeat again.

minimod alert minimod alert minimod alert
citizens of the forums please direct to your rescue zone where you will be evacuated from the minimods!!1

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hummerz5

Member

From: wait I'm not a secret mod huh

Joined: 2015-08-10

Posts: 5,854

Re: Joke topic

hi all, news!
jokes are OK. Apparently we're more worried about dupe topics if they''re a suggestion thread.

Fun reminder to please not minimod, or minimod by reminding others not to minimod. We don't want any paradoxes now, do we?

oh now I need to put in a joke. Uh...

why did the minimod cross the road
to throw off traffic

edit 4: more jokes pls

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thanks HG, HG, HG, HG! anatoly, zumza! zoey!

MBlood

Member

From: Argentina

Joined: 2016-03-01

Posts: 428

Re: Joke topic

Your jokes and this topic

▼Heh

What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
The snowballs.

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Away.

Zoey2070

Moderation Team

From: Shakuras

Joined: 2015-02-15

Posts: 5,511

Re: Joke topic

this joke about Fibonacci is worse than the last two you've heard combined

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Myst

Guest

Re: Joke topic

The Boringest Crew member of this crew is gp68, gp68, gp68, gp68, gp68isawesome, gp69, gp68isthebest, gp68, gp68isagod, gp6+8, 86pg, gp68iscool and gp68

this is my joke

Vinyl Melody

Formerly BananaMilkShake

Joined: 2016-06-19

Posts: 616

Re: Joke topic

["hip", "hip"]

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Thanks to: Ernesdo (Current Avatar), Zoey2070 (Signature)

Very inactive, maybe in the future, idk.

Anatoly

Guest

Re: Joke topic

http://img02.imgland.net/QRvfZs5.png
The Boringest Crew member of this crew is gp68, gp68, gp68, gp68, gp68isawesome, gp69, gp68isthebest, gp68, gp68isagod, gp6+8, 86pg, gp68iscool and gp68

this is my joke

AlphaJon

Member

From: Who knows

Joined: 2015-07-21

Posts: 1,297

Re: Joke topic

Note: these are jokes I randomly found on the internet and just remembered, I didn't make them.

<snip>

Vinyl Melody

Formerly BananaMilkShake

Joined: 2016-06-19

Posts: 616

Re: Joke topic

Do you know why programmers use glasses?
Because they can't C#!

God kill me for making bad jokes

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Thanks to: Ernesdo (Current Avatar), Zoey2070 (Signature)

Very inactive, maybe in the future, idk.

TaskManager

Formerly maxi123

From: i really should update this

Joined: 2015-03-01

Posts: 9,465

Re: Joke topic

do you know why people dont do gambling in africa
there are too many cheetahs

why a broken pencil doesnt write
it has no point

i attached all my watches together
it was a waist of time

ik its unoriginal and i copied it from a dank meme but hey, i laugh every time i read those

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signature by HG, profile picture by bluecloud, thank!!
previous signature by drstereos

MBlood

Member

From: Argentina

Joined: 2016-03-01

Posts: 428

Re: Joke topic

Why did a sir throw a clock out of a window?
Because time flies.

+ Dad, how does it feels to have a beatiful son?
- I don't know, ask your grandparent.

+ Do you have Wi-Fi?
- Yes.
+ What is the password?
- Having money and pay it.

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Away.