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Master1

Member

From: Crait

Joined: 2015-02-15

Posts: 4,452

The Clastering Of The Rukted Foldcant

The Clastering of the Rukted Foldcant

          The other day I was playing in my new vacso world, when I dipprituped a bug in the game. Every now and then my kagon would trigger the mizule of a note playing, even though I was never on one. At first I thought someone might just be fadifing one above me or something, since a lot of my friends had edit, but after it started replitzing with nobody around I knew it had to be a lazap. I began to mess around with it, trying to see what exactly was tribopping it. I was astauanded by what I found. Not only did my spacebar cause the trealop to be expled, but it seemed to quickly teleport me overtop of a wetchop and back to my original spot each time. This made absolutely no sense to me, so I decided to dododox the rest of the staff, and quickly loheckled to skype.

          Upon getting on, I found NVD and skizzed him that I had a weepeggle question to ask him. As soon as he asked what the piderv was, I sent the geosyog “please do not interrupt me now I have to rewrite the entire message”, excreticted by “the more you interrupt my typing the longer it will take to finish the question”. NVD responded with “:p”. Labesively, I was surprised by the ring of a doorbell. I got up from the computer after saying “brb, the doorbell rang”, and walked to the front topacase. I opened the door and found that there were no signs of anything at all having ever been there on the front porch. A scratching near the kiraric made me look up - to find nothing. A descanashing sound across the tiled interior of the fech made me slowly look back - only to see the shutting of a cabinet door by the fireplace. This is the cabinet wherein I keep all of the shoes I find by the side of the road.

          I pulled away the doors and saw many old and mud-shod shoes… and that there were five shoes mizuxe and no signs of anything else weird. To find whatever entered my sepezz would probably require the finding of these missing shoes - potentially more. Thankfully just to the left of the afferaron sat the first one. It was sislafed in a layer of phlegm. I decided to just jumbractri it where it was for then.

          In my search for the second shoe I walked over to the bench near the bathroom. Under the bench stood the shoe. I figweedled it out from beneath the pulappli-like piece and looked inside to find several hundred toenail clippings. This was to be expected as this was how I originally found the plakill. I paced a few moments in worry of what could have invaded my home.

          In my efforts to locate the third shoe, a bat flew about the ceiling from the outside window and slabdrilled me in the third vertebral column with a knife. I managed to avoid the knife and not get slabdrilled and the bat flew into the firtbolock and blood and fur encased flesh splattered onto the frorealm. I fully regret leaving that window open. I went back to the second shoe I had found under the bench and carefully picked it up, and carried it over to the arbundivi to wash out all of the clippings. As it drenched in the cold water, the pure ationsiousions of the water morphed into a furisitic blood-stained-carpet red. I discovered that well over a liter of blood was also held in the shoe for what could have been aloidia.

          As if by an occult hand, a horror of extreme sweeness soared into the room from the chimney and fireplace and towards me. I jumped onto the floor to avoid it and it landed on the quolwuoluols by the front door. It flew again towards me and I failed in my second jump and tripped over a stool and landed next to the spourmo. A loud explosion played on the spourmo - possibly stunning the numplente. It hit the spourmo and electricity shook it as glass limilignified its fiber-like wings. A piece of plicity from the spourmo zoomed across my face just above my left eye. The creature leapt towards the window.

          The terrible pounit bled and oozed green blood and pus as it swooped through the window with a cacophonous crash. Glass clastered against the wall and shards rukted through the sofa foldcant. The wound above my left eye continued to chassri. After three weeks of cleaning up the alerrawia, it was finally finished. I knew that this tale of this monster should be told and so I wrote it down. I posted it onto the only website that know of - forums.everybodyedits.com. I decided that telling this fully pirend story is best suited for the offtopic discussion; and that is where I placed it. Within an hour, a forum moderator decided that the best fliondeso for this skanstchlo story is creative. Now no one is going to believe me - I have failed. To you all, for you to think of this as false will lead you all to the suffering of ennui.

          The End

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Jabatheblob1

Member

Joined: 2015-03-01

Posts: 856

Re: The Clastering Of The Rukted Foldcant

Are these actual words?

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Master1

Member

From: Crait

Joined: 2015-02-15

Posts: 4,452

Re: The Clastering Of The Rukted Foldcant

Yes, all of the pentwists are didiza.

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Different55

Forum Admin

Joined: 2015-02-07

Posts: 16,575

Re: The Clastering Of The Rukted Foldcant

Thanks for the headache.

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"Sometimes failing a leap of faith is better than inching forward"
- ShinsukeIto

Pingohits

Banned

From: aids lizard

Joined: 2015-02-15

Posts: 7,591

Re: The Clastering Of The Rukted Foldcant

here m1 i can help you

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Anch

Member

Joined: 2015-02-16

Posts: 5,447

Re: The Clastering Of The Rukted Foldcant

The Clastering of the Rukted Foldcant is a great story.

Bimps

Member

Joined: 2015-02-08

Posts: 5,067

Re: The Clastering Of The Rukted Foldcant

what

Zoey2070

Moderation Team

From: Shakuras

Joined: 2015-02-15

Posts: 5,509

Re: The Clastering Of The Rukted Foldcant

Is... is this vogon poetry?

▼vogon poetry

Ah freddled gruntbuggly,
Thy micturations are to me,
As plurdled gabbleblotchits,
On a lurgid bee,
That mordiously hath blurted out,
Its earted jurtles,
Into a rancid festering confectious organ squealer. [drowned out by moaning and screaming]
Now the jurpling slayjid agrocrustles,
Are slurping hagrilly up the axlegrurts,
And living glupules frart and slipulate,
Like jowling meated liverslime,
Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turling dromes,
And hooptiously drangle me,
With crinkly bindlewurdles,
Or else I shall rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon,
See if I don't.

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proc's discorb stylish themes for forums/the game
꧁꧂L O V E & C O R N꧁꧂   ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ
danke bluecloud thank u raphe    [this section of my sig is dedicated to everything i've loved that's ever died]
?          

BuzzerBee

Forum Admin

Joined: 2015-02-15

Posts: 4,575

Re: The Clastering Of The Rukted Foldcant

This is truly a novaly story, I would love to learn more about what happened within this boxscape. Did the tupacase ever get winoozed?

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Onjit

Member

Joined: 2015-02-15

Posts: 9,710

Website

Re: The Clastering Of The Rukted Foldcant

I'm not sure if you need more drugs, or less.

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:.|:;

N1KF

Wiki Mod

From: ဪဪဪဪဪ From: ဪဪဪဪဪ From: ဪဪဪဪဪ

Joined: 2015-02-15

Posts: 11,123

Website

Re: The Clastering Of The Rukted Foldcant

I was about to report the original post for being in the wrong forum. Good thing I decided to read the whole post before doing so.

!nb4

Formerly AYB

From: New In Package (NIP) Pole

Joined: 2015-07-18

Posts: 767

Re: The Clastering Of The Rukted Foldcant

how old is this post?

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AmdS

Member

From: Brazil

Joined: 2015-05-27

Posts: 2,384

Website

Re: The Clastering Of The Rukted Foldcant

what is happenning

Hostage

Banned

From: Hell

Joined: 2015-06-02

Posts: 1,317

Website

Re: The Clastering Of The Rukted Foldcant

what is happenning

master1 is high

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Pyromaniac

Official Caroler

Joined: 2015-02-15

Posts: 4,868

Re: The Clastering Of The Rukted Foldcant

What the bimps you nerd how long did this take you

Zoey2070

Moderation Team

From: Shakuras

Joined: 2015-02-15

Posts: 5,509

Re: The Clastering Of The Rukted Foldcant

how old is this post?

it's from may, try checking the timestamps

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proc's discorb stylish themes for forums/the game
꧁꧂L O V E & C O R N꧁꧂   ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ
danke bluecloud thank u raphe    [this section of my sig is dedicated to everything i've loved that's ever died]
?          

Hostage

Banned

From: Hell

Joined: 2015-06-02

Posts: 1,317

Website

Re: The Clastering Of The Rukted Foldcant

here m1 i can help you

why would he need a rapist

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Schlog

Banned

Joined: 2015-07-21

Posts: 1,960

Re: The Clastering Of The Rukted Foldcant

are you challenging pingohits to a weird story contest?
please don't

Pingohits

Banned

From: aids lizard

Joined: 2015-02-15

Posts: 7,591

Re: The Clastering Of The Rukted Foldcant

are you challenging pingohits to a weird story contest?
please don't

oh you gibbergabbler son of a nakery! i am here to preboon, not quafitarrel with this kongaloid. but as you fortonically asked, i will give you a jabber, but just a smerk.

In the land of the freast, there was a huppercup songstill which hannibockered the yeek town of Normandy. Shotfires and titablockers lined the brockens, and a princepet mound of droogny named "Balor" sat capidly, awaiting porders from his almast leader.

Balor was what you called "sweevil". He is a glabbagasta during funines and baltries, but once the glipering moon fell into klapantine, he turned dysipious and revailed. There was an yold folk legend that detailed Balor's uncrepling bralk.

It said he was blooney one day in Tametomo's Trivery, playing Trunk with them yorkels. But those gerber yorkels were phalacraft! Balor was bepuzzled! Zaitanly, the hander passed and Balor grew ghislander and ghislander. But at his very aborse, a yorkel through down a pencepenny, and Balor went branannigan! He swiftfooted a bottomstop and spliced the poor yorkel's esophagus! Then he gnecked an entire bologna.

For the rest of his livingstone, he was tragged, "Balorny".

Now, two deuxacades later, Balor was an inframan. He was kingpricked too. In approximately 40 clipperseconds, he will be set for the scasm that will trimor his calcifers.

So it began, the lopscotched neuf of Normandy. Balor grabbed a sprinktin and ran for the grovers. What a fotanical! This act is called a "Nugatolidiche" by the craggers. He ran and ran and ran until he saw a smogled hut. He knocked and knocked and knocked until a lewt shortstack appeared. Oh Buzzput! It was the yorkel's friend that Balor decaminated! 'Tis not a legend, fourman!

The lilipup immediately knucked him in the inniebillie and beloped his badking with a telluric dogger. Balor traised and traised and traised to no avail. The yorkel blammed and blammed and blammed, and cotabled. He killed Balor the exaclack Balor did with his froth. And thus pagafinalizes Balor's unend.

▼DEFINITIONS

ABORSE- the peak of one's sanity
ALMAST- one who is never seen, but everyone knows about. similar to Big Brother in George Orwell's 1984
BADKING- the top of one's head. when a king is removed from his crown, he is usually accused of a dishonorable act. thus, the head is known as the badking
BALTRIES- wine drinking events that include massive amounts of balloons
BELOPED- to hit with the flat side of something sharp
BEPUZZLED- to be puzzled
BLAMMED- to attack extraordinarily viciously, like a bear on ecstasy
BLOONEY- looking for fun and trouble
BOTTOMSTOP- the legs of a chair
BRALK- a life that is hard like stone; lonely, average, and cold
BRANANNIGAN- to show insanity in a public place
BROCKENS- brick walls
CALCIFIERS- all the materials that contain calcium in your body
CAPIDLY- content and aware
CLIPPERSECONDS- the amount of time it takes for an average blink, which is usually 3 seconds
COTABLED- to strike the final attack that will kill someone
CRAGGERS- mountain men
DECAMINATED- to kill with a chair
DEUXACADES- two decades
DOGGER- a dirt harvester; a tool used to harvest fertile soil
DROOGNY- a mixture of blood, flesh, bones, and skin
DYSIPIOUS- evil, promoting the idea of evil
EXACLACK- the exact same way of something
FORTONICAL- something, preferably a statement, that states not to conduct an action, but actually prefers for the action to be undertaken
FOTANICAL- a smart coward
FOURMAN- the reader of the story.
FREAST- far east
FUNINES- fun parties
GERBER- baby-like
GHISLANDER- to be frustrated with a game or recreational event
GIBBERGLABBER- one who converses on out-of-the-ordinary topics
GLABBAGASTA- the talk of the town that also causes laughter
GLIPERING- to shine at a small amount
GNECKED- to swallow an item so large it is visible in the neck
GROVERS- a small forest that contains more water sources than usual. not to be confused with a swamp
HANDER- the hands of a clock
HANNIBOCKERED- to panic and cause conversation
HUPPERCUP- something that is looming, but the time of release is unknown. similar to the buildup of a hiccup.
INFRAMAN- a class lower than the average infantryman. usually a prisoner
INNIEBILLIE- the space in between a man's testicles
KINGPRICKED- handpicked by a higher class
KLAPANTINE- used to describe a non-living object sleeping
KNUCKED- to hit with the knuckles
KONGALOID- an idiot, preferably one that looks like a gorilla
LEWT- tired and worn
LILIPUP- an agile little person
LIVINGSTONE- a life that is already dead
LOPSCOTCHED- useless
NAKERY- the baker's niece
NEUF- a famous person who was forgotten
NUGATOLIDICHE- an inframan who grabbed a sprinktin and ran for the grovers. happens more than usual
PAGAFINALIZES- to end the story of someone or something
PENCEPENNY- an informal term for the very last card of Trunk (game). the card is usually black.
PHALACRAFT- dextrous with one's fingers
PORDERS- procedural orders
PREBOON- to look or read quietly
PRINCEPET- a large load. one that will satisfy a prince
QUAFITARREL- to compete aggressively with
REVAILED- to despise everything
SCASM- a scary event or fight
SHORTSTACK- a small person draped in heavy cloths
SHOTFIRES- firearms that contain multiple bullets inside, designed to fire like a shotgun but similar to the size of a pistol
SMERK- small taste
SMOGLED- a house that is emitting smoke
SONGSTILL- a strange event where the birds stop singing
SPLICED- to cut unevenly
SPRINKTIN- a jar used by the army to contain scraps of food
SWEEVIL- sweet and evil
SWIFTFOOTED- to kick quickly
TITABLOCKERS- very large shields
TRAGGED- to insultingly call
TRAISED- to attempt to dodge, but failing to
TRIMOR- to shake the insides of someone or something
TRIVERY- a bar that routinely serves gin and ale
TRUNK (GAME)- a game that uses multicolored cards and die. two players or more are needed to play this game. the first person rolls the dice, and whichever number he lands on is how many cards he has to turn in. this game is similar to what goes on in a pawn shop. the cards are white, green, blue, red, purple, and black, where white is the "cheapest" card and black is the most "expensive". the cards would have assorted pictures on the fronts, such as a goblet or a carriage. the goal of the game is to amass the most wealth amongst the other players, which is through knowing what to buy and what to place down. usually the white cards are placed down first, while the black cards are placed down last, which creates tension. the maker of the game committed treason and was placed, alive, in the trunk of a tree. the followers of the game named it "Trunk" in memory.
UNCREPLING- to crumble slowly
UNEND- a bad ending, usually gory
YEEK- small and old
YOLD- old beyond words
YORKEL- an adult short in height
ZAITANLY- quickly, preferably time

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Anch

Member

Joined: 2015-02-16

Posts: 5,447

Re: The Clastering Of The Rukted Foldcant

BEPUZZLED- to be puzzled

This made me laugh

Pingohits

Banned

From: aids lizard

Joined: 2015-02-15

Posts: 7,591

Re: The Clastering Of The Rukted Foldcant

BEPUZZLED- to be puzzled

This made me laugh

im bepuzzled

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