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Deetz

Guest

Eyes- A story by Deetz

Day 1

I like my new house. Kind of an old-world-charm feel, and good neighborhood too. Only one problem, really. Every door has an insignia on it, right at eye-level, of an eye. Very creepy, like the house is watching me. Meh, I can get new doors anyway.

Day 2

Okay, I bought some doors matching the size of my doorway, and I'm hiring a pro to install them.

The guy just left, saying something like "Them doors don't fit." What does he mean they don't fit? I measured perfectly, I swear on my mother's life! Idiot.

Day 3

I decided to install the doors myself. I threw the old doors, with the eyes, into a nearby dumpster, and I put in the new ones. Perfect fit.

Day 4

I removed all the mirrors in my house, because they reminded me of those doors when I saw my own eyes, but.... I don't know. They're in the dumpster.

Day 5

I couldn't sleep last night, and when I woke up today, I couldn't see anything. It's like I went blind overnight.

I went to a doctor on the train, feeling my way to the office (luckily, the train stops right next to the building) and he didn't know what it was. Said it's "just some disease" and put me on a prescription. Taking some medicine.

Day 10

Got a package today. Brought it in, dropped it on the ground, and promptly fell asleep. My vision is still pretty bad, I can only see smudges of light.

Day 11

All of a sudden, I can see perfectly. Strange, but I guess that's life. I can't see what shape my eyes are in, but that's okay. Seeing eyes still freaks me out.

I decided to open up the package. It was a perfectly done tapestry, with a huge eye in the middle. Threw it out. Don't know who sent it. Sleeping, man, I've been tired lately. Not feeling so well either.

Day 13

I spent some time laying low. Going into town to get some milk. It has a picture of an eye on it, but I'll power through

Day 14

Feeling much better now.

Day 37

I'm moving out. I got a job change (I know, quick turnaround) and am going back to my hometown to work.

Day 39

I got the disease again. Didn't bother going to the doctor, knew what it was. Taking off of my new job.

Day 73

In the hospital. My "disease" is in "critical condition", and they still don't know what it is. Apparently, it's spread all over my face, and I may not pull through. What encouraging words.

Official certificate of death: Bill Smith. Date of death: 1/31/13 7:14 PM. Cause: unknown.

Arceus64

Guest

Re: Eyes- A story by Deetz

I like the 'days' theme. It's fresh, and I wish more people would do it.

Good job!

skullz17

Member

Joined: 2015-02-15

Posts: 6,699

Re: Eyes- A story by Deetz

Nice, but I wish you described more feelings and built up to the end, maybe using foreshadowing. It might make the ending a little less abrupt.

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thx for sig bobithan