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N1KF

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From: ဪဪဪဪဪ From: ဪဪဪဪဪ From: ဪဪဪဪဪ

Joined: 2015-02-15

Posts: 11,122

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The Ugly Barnacle

Once upon a time, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end.

What do you think about the story?

Arceus64

Guest

Re: The Ugly Barnacle

I call copyright by Nickelodeon.

some woman

Member

From: 4th dimension

Joined: 2015-02-15

Posts: 9,289

Re: The Ugly Barnacle

That story was so detailed and sophisticated... I could just read it for the rest of the summer! +rep!

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10 years and still awkward. Keep it up, baby!

kooldude9000

Guest

Re: The Ugly Barnacle

That ... I feel so different inside after reading that story ...

Krazyman50

Guest

Re: The Ugly Barnacle

My life now has a meaning.

rocktheworld313

Guest

Re: The Ugly Barnacle

I call copyright by Nickelodeon.

I'm pretty sure in the show, it was 'The End' not 'The end'

So no copyright! Hooray!

Koya

Fabulous Member

From: The island with those Brits

Joined: 2015-02-18

Posts: 6,310

Re: The Ugly Barnacle

Everyone died - how?

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Thank you eleizibeth ^

I stack my signatures rather than delete them so I don't lose them

Krazyman50

Guest

Re: The Ugly Barnacle

Is this not considered a pointless topic...?

rocktheworld313

Guest

Re: The Ugly Barnacle

Of course not! You have no idea how much meaning the story holds for us!

skullz17

Member

Joined: 2015-02-15

Posts: 6,699

Re: The Ugly Barnacle

Of course not! You have no idea how much meaning the story holds for us!

As well as room for unfunny jokes.

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thx for sig bobithan

Saintcool

Guest

Re: The Ugly Barnacle

In my time on the forum, I can remember this exact topic being posted a grand total of three time.

DryKirby

Member

Joined: 2015-03-15

Posts: 687

Re: The Ugly Barnacle

Guys, you're missing the point of this masterpiece. These 18 words hold a deep philosophical meaning, unmatched by any 21st century author, except perhaps Patrick Star. Let's break it down, shall we?

"Once upon a time,"

The very first sentence displays the author's unwillingness to compromise the timelessness of his oeuvre. The story's setting and rough time period are only referred to as "once upon a time", never a specific period. Where is the ugly barnacle? When does the barnacle <kill everyone>?

Those questions are irrelevant - this is a story detailling the unneeded struggle of the unlucky in a society obsessed by an arbitrary beauty ideal. Attaching a specific time and place would simply dilute the message and weaken the reader's empathy toward the barnacle's plight.

"there was an ugly barnacle."

Thus, our protagonist introduced.

Who is the ugly barnacle? What is the ugly barnacle beyond this shallow description? How is he ugly? All questions lesser minds would ask, completely missing the point of the tale.

Say what you want about Kirby, but he doesn't mess around. Whereas so-called "talented" authors often bore the lectorat with unneeded descriptive, Kirby sticks with the basics. The main character is a barnacle. He is ugly. For the purpose of the story, that is all you need to know. Anything beyond this point is space-wasting fluff.

The so-called "beige" description also has the quality of bypassing the reader's suspension of disbelief. A more detailed description, no matter how abject, would cause one wise guy to spout "That doesn't look that ugly!" or "You're exaggerating, dude." Simply labelling the barnacle as "ugly" causes the reader to apply his own standard of homeliness, skipping unneeded subjective concerns.

"He was so ugly, everyone died."

Unexpectedly, tragedy strikes!

The climax of the tale is a superb case of subverting the reader expectation. Usually, this kind of story will features the main character going on an adventure to "fix" his appearance and conform to the society ideal, or finally accepting his physic and reconfort himself in the saccharine ideal that appearance alone doesn't matter.

Not here. Not only did the barnacle did nothing to resolve his predicament, but said inaction causes his surrounding macrocosm to die. The tale satirizes both society's obsession with physical appearance (as the presumably shallow, straight-thinking citizens are conditioned to be killed by violation of beauty standards) and the inaction of the homely, as the main character's unjustified lack of initiative causes negative and oh-so-very real consequences to himself and his surrounding.

"The end."

Kirby walks triumphantly and doesn't look back. There was a barnacle. It was ugly. Everyone died. Blam.

Last edited by DryKirby64 (Jul 2 2013 9:47:23 am)

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if a girl does not have yuri then she is lost

but that same girl can be lost in the yuri

Saintcool

Guest

Re: The Ugly Barnacle

^ That felt so forced.