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Deetz

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John's bench: a scary story by deetz

=_=

[[sleepyeyes]]

One day, John was walking to the park. He knew it was a cliche, but he didn't care. He liked walking.   Back on-topic, John came to a bench. This was no ordinary bench, you see, it was his favorite bench. Every day, he sat on it and ate his breakfast.

This day, a man was lying on the bench, asleep.

John had never seen this man.

And he knew everyone in town.

Distraught, John chose to sit on another bench, even though he was sad he didn't get to sit on his favorite bench.

=STORY BREAK=

Wow, what a sad guy. He has a favorite bench.

=STORY RESUME=

He found a bench about a football field's worth away. When he sat down, he saw the man was gone. "Well." he said, "I guess I get my bench."

But when he got to the banch, the man was back, sleeping.

John wondered how the man got back so fast, but he wasn't worried. His new bench was very nice, really, just not as good a view of the river. He walked back calmly. But when he got to his new bench, there was a man sleeping there too!

He looked around. There was a sleeping man at every bench.

This was strange in itself, but what made it very creepy to John was he didn't know any of the men. also, this park was usually deserted. then, one of the men woke up.

The other men woke up one by one, as if on cue.

John ran.

And ran.

And ran.

The men followed, one by one.

He reached his house, got in his car, and drove away.

The men followed.

He got on the freeway.

The men followed.

He drove and drove and drove.

the men were always right there.

John gave up.

____________________________________________________________________________

Epilogue
____________________________________________________________________________

John walked to the park early. He sat down on a bench and started sleeping, as if on cue.

SilverStar

EE Homegirl

Joined: 2015-07-01

Posts: 541

Re: John's bench: a scary story by deetz

Dun dun DUN!

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Deetz

Guest

Re: John's bench: a scary story by deetz

Yeah it is... My first attempt at something with some suspense. Keep that in mind.

lecture

Guest

Re: John's bench: a scary story by deetz

wow this is really good!!
+rep )

Deetz

Guest

Re: John's bench: a scary story by deetz

for a first crack at it, I'm doing pretty well.

Deetz

Guest

Re: John's bench: a scary story by deetz

bump

xGBx-PwNzZ

Guest

Re: John's bench: a scary story by deetz

Nice to see you have the pawned forums link in your sig

On-topic: Nice story

Watashii

Guest

Re: John's bench: a scary story by deetz

Wow, everything about this is absolutely amazing.
The suspense... it's so intense. I did absolutely feel as if I were right there, when John got chased away by the mysterious men. This story sucked me right into it, from the beginning to end, and it continued to do so even after I re-read it several dozens of times.

I loved the =STORY BREAK= which you put into the story. It is really nice to see the authors clever commentary on his own work. Not only that, but this particular Story Break managed to add an additional level of depth in John's character as well.

I do, however, feel like there are certain aspects of the story that I couldn't comprehend. It feels like I've... missed something. This does seem to be the type of story that have a greater, deeper meaning to it than what you'd initially think. I know for sure that I couldn't quite grasp at all. For instance, I'm sure there is more to that epilogue than what's obvious.

I'd love to hear what my fellow EE-forumers managed to extract and read between the lines in the story, and what philosophical meaning you all found in it.
I also made this piece of fan art. I hope that you like it, and that we can get to see more of the sort about this fantastic piece of fiction.

Deetz

Guest

Re: John's bench: a scary story by deetz

woohoo! Fan art! I am making a great rep as a writer!

What a milestone.

ani

Member

Joined: 2015-02-17

Posts: 649

Re: John's bench: a scary story by deetz

Wow, everything about this is absolutely amazing.
The suspense... it's so intense. I did absolutely feel as if I were right there, when John got chased away by the mysterious men. This story sucked me right into it, from the beginning to end, and it continued to do so even after I re-read it several dozens of times.

I loved the =STORY BREAK= which you put into the story. It is really nice to see the authors clever commentary on his own work. Not only that, but this particular Story Break managed to add an additional level of depth in John's character as well.

I do, however, feel like there are certain aspects of the story that I couldn't comprehend. It feels like I've... missed something. This does seem to be the type of story that have a greater, deeper meaning to it than what you'd initially think. I know for sure that I couldn't quite grasp at all. For instance, I'm sure there is more to that epilogue than what's obvious.

I'd love to hear what my fellow EE-forumers managed to extract and read between the lines in the story, and what philosophical meaning you all found in it.
I also made this piece of fan art. I hope that you like it, and that we can get to see more of the sort about this fantastic piece of fiction.

http://i.imgur.com/b5Fwj.png

I've managed to grasp something. I've managed to grasp some oxygen into my LUNGS BECAUSE YOU ALMOST KILLED ME xD.
(deetz: I was hyperventilating because of how beautifully executed this story was)

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ヽ(•‿•)ノ    ❤ ♬ ✩    t u t u r u !~    ✧☁ ☂    ヽ(•‿•)ノ

Deetz

Guest

Re: John's bench: a scary story by deetz

omg I can actually write... I still can't believe it.

Sereously, I always get like C's in Language Arts at school.

plat aka kingpooultra

Member

Joined: 2017-05-27

Posts: 3,873

Re: John's bench: a scary story by deetz

omg I can actually write... I still can't believe it.

Sereously, I always get like C's in Language Arts at school.

Because schools are cruel.

Deetz

Guest

Re: John's bench: a scary story by deetz

So true. So very true.

This post also serves as a bump, in case anybody's wondering.

crastopher

Guest

Re: John's bench: a scary story by deetz

Wow, what a sad guy. He has a favorite bench.

Lol, thats true. +Rep for the awesome writing.

Deetz

Guest

Re: John's bench: a scary story by deetz

bumpity bumpity bump

Echo!

Guest

Re: John's bench: a scary story by deetz

I'm not a fan of reading, however, I did read it all. I liked it. Well done.

Deetz

Guest

Re: John's bench: a scary story by deetz

I know this is like the biggest gravedig ever, but I just noticed how many people loved this story, so I'm bringing it back. Give me a warning if you must, but at least some people will get some good reading out of it. I say it'd be worth it

Arceus64

Guest

Re: John's bench: a scary story by deetz

I enjoy this story!

John handled the circumstance of the men following him well until he gave up. He obviously became one of their slaves. Poor John.

Deetz

Guest

Re: John's bench: a scary story by deetz

^Yes, that would be the suspense of the story.

Echo!

Guest

Re: John's bench: a scary story by deetz

Gee, did I kill this topic last time? Man, I'm a bad person.

Deetz

Guest

Re: John's bench: a scary story by deetz

lul

Don't do it again :O