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ILoveBacon

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Love trouble.

Note:Please no stupid/sarcastic comments because I will get really annoyed and probably rage quite a bit.

I know there has probably been millions of topics about it but I don't care. I'm complaining about my confusion any way. I want good advice, so Zoey, Twipply, feel free to write gigantic posts on what you think because I know I can trust (Most of) your advice. I am asking here because you guys will hopefully give me the best results.
So there is this girl, in my form class in school. I met her only last year, but already I'm getting feelings about her. I dont want to look, and talk, to her, because I'm so frightened. I have started to get over the fear of looking, because a week ago we got a new seating plan and I'm sitting next to her, but whenever I say something it feels as if a fist just punched me in the stomache really hard. I was even scared of making this topic.
The feelings I get for her are hard to explain. It feels like my heart is bleeding, but my brain just goes dead. I see her every day, even on weekends, because she lives near me and goes past my house. I feel the best way to talk to her is on Facebook because I have time to think what I'm talking about.

I want to ask you how? How do I make a good impression? How do I get over my fear? How do I ask her out? I've been told that it isn't the most important thing to get a girlfriend in your teens but my heart tells me different. I know that there are lots more girls on this planet to choose from, but I am willing to be with her. Why would she go out with a geeky boy like me? She has been with another guy alot recently, and there may be no news about them going out I think he loves her aswell. The feelings I get for her are strong, uncontrolably strong. Its driving me to tears. What do I do? I just cant stop thinking about her. I've tried to let it go, but the force is too powerful for my weak soul.

Zoey2070

Moderation Team

From: Shakuras

Joined: 2015-02-15

Posts: 5,511

Re: Love trouble.

I'm honored that you'd take my advice seriously.
Fortunately for you, but unfortunately for me, I'm a total pro at this subject.

Okay, so.
What are you so afraid of?
I'm pretty sure no one's going to question you glancing at her, although I suppose staring lustfully might creep her out. Why are you scared of making this topic? Chances are she's not on here and even if she was the only way she'd know who you are is by thinking 'Oh hey there's a guy in my form class that I sit next to' but she'd probably know that the chances of Patience is Key being whatever your real name is are astronomically high. So she wouldn't suspect a thing even if she saw this topic because it's just improbable. And also, she's seriously probably never going to see this topic.

Okay, so, technically your heart is constantly bleeding because that's what it does, and with your brain dying, you are... a zombie. I guess. /notsrs

Anyway, you could make a good impression by... being yourself. Be confident, if she rejects you, oh well, you'll get over it. Trust me. Try not to be nervous when speaking to her, don't be all shifty eyes and looking everywhere but at her.

I don't even know what your fear is, so if you'd answer that, that would be great.
Also, as for asking her out, this is what you do, except I'm by no means a pro at this considering I've never been asked out / asked anyone out:
- greet 'Hello...'
- compliment 'You look nice today.' [Or replace nice with something like gorgeous, cute, etc, but not sexy/hot/ anything that may indicate lust.]
- ask out on a date 'So I was wondering if you'd go out with me'
I think there should be something between compliment and asking out, but I have no idea what it would be. Perhaps a conversation. But not about the weather.

Also, your heart is deceiving you. Just saying.
Getting a girlfriend is by no means the most important thing ever, I swear to you. Being a couple means attachment which means lack of freedom. Like a bird. But not anything that has the same mate for life. But still, it's not important. No matter what your heart is telling you, getting a girlfriend isn't that important.

'Willing to be with her'... There's something about that that just sounds... off, like she should feel honored or privileged to be with you. Like you're lowering yourself. I might just be over analyzing every word you say, though. Do you mean you're willing to risk pain, free time, and heartbreak to be with her? (To me that doesn't sound like a big deal but I don't think before getting into relationships so lol) I guess it might be a big deal if you perhaps have a fear of commitment, in which case, making this topic says a lot about you.

Okay, as for her going out with you, you should be asking 'WHY THE HELL NOT?'
Also, the word love is so so so overused. It pains me. Chances are that very few teenage relationships are long lasting love. By long-lasting love, I mean the kind of love that explains why, through thick and thin, a couple would be married for thirty, forty, fifty, sixty, etc years despite all the fighting and bickering and whatnot. Until death do we part: Extreme Edition.
Also, what you're feeling is either a really strong crush, or infatuation. Probably infatuation.
Infatuation.
Is.
Not.
Love.
Just so you know. You don't love her. This is like seriously the definition of infatuation. I'm sorry.

Infatuation is the state of being completely carried away by unreasoned passion or love: 'expresses the headlong libidinal (that means SEXUAL DESIRE) attraction of addictive love. Usually, one is inspired with an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for someone.
source

Just chillax.
The best cure for this is distance. Distance yourself mentally, emotionally, and physically (this sounds horribly familiar to me... -cough-) and I'm sure you'll get over it. You may find this helpful.

Well, that's for letting go, which I can say so much about if that's the road you want to take. I know I'm sort of contradicting myself, but I just went right through your post and tried to address everything.

Good luck for whatever you choose to do.

edit: ah what why is my post so large. You wanted gigantic, you got gigantic, I guess.

Last edited by Zoey2070 (Mar 14 2012 3:29:22 pm)

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SilverStar

EE Homegirl

Joined: 2015-07-01

Posts: 541

Re: Love trouble.

DO NOT BE AFRAID. You will regret the things that you didn't say more than the things you do. If you do not talk to her she will never even get a hint, and you will never get a chance. (Personally as a girl, I find it flattering when a shy guy talks to me.) It would also be helpful if you explained what you mean by "ask her out". (Yes I know a date.) However, it doesn't seem that you have asked a girl out before. Try to find a common interest that you can talk about. Perhaps if you both like animals, ask her to help at the dog shelter with you next weekend. Both like swimming? Ask her to go to the pool with you, perhaps if you are shy, invite some mutual friends. Start by asking her a question about school and keep the conversation going. Good luck!

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soccerfreak006

Guest

Re: Love trouble.

First, I like a girl in my class. I was like you last year. But this year I decided one thing. It is now or never.
If you want that girl to like you, huh? get her to know you. say hello, make her laugh.
Then take it a step further. Get to be her friend. Talk to her on facebook more often.
Then, a step further. Get to know her as well as you can. (If you have to do a project with a partner (opposite gender), try to be with her.
A big leap. When there is a school dance, ask for her.
Then once you are ready ask her out, do it.
If you want to, don't let many other kids know about this.
I did this with that girl in my class. All of it worked. She is basically now my girlfriend. Hope this helps

Chewy

Banned

Re: Love trouble.

It would help greatly if we knew how old you were...

coolmanman

Guest

Re: Love trouble.

Here is my opinion, I bet you are a nice guy who treat woman with ful respect and cares for them. But most girls go for the hot derp that treat women like sh*t becuase they have muscles and they are popular.
I liked someone a lot but then she got a boyfriend and she is very happy with him so I becmae best friends with her and best friends can last way longer than relationships.
So first, Be friends

ani

Member

Joined: 2015-02-17

Posts: 649

Re: Love trouble.

lmao how old are you?

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Watashii

Guest

Re: Love trouble.

Here is my opinion, I bet you are a nice guy who treat woman with ful respect and cares for them. But most girls go for the hot derp that treat women like sh*t becuase they have muscles and they are popular.

This isn't true and you have an awful social understanding if you consider this a fact.

coolmanman

Guest

Re: Love trouble.

Here is my opinion, I bet you are a nice guy who treat woman with ful respect and cares for them. But most girls go for the hot derp that treat women like sh*t becuase they have muscles and they are popular.

This isn't true and you have an awful social understanding if you consider this a fact.

I said "My opinion", and I see it all the time on Fb

Watashii

Guest

Re: Love trouble.

This isn't true and you have an awful social understanding if you consider this a fact.
I said "My opinion", and I see it all the time on Fb

I thought when I read your post that what is an opinion is limited to your thoughts on the OP, and why he has problems. It was the second sentence I reacted to, the one where you stated that "most girls only goes for abusive ****", which I would consider a misogynistic thing to say. That part wasn't stated like an opinion at all, but rather an observation which you seems to consider to be true.

But now when I see you have a valid argument I guess that isn't relevant. Because surely, your limited circle of Facebook friends is applicable on most women on the planet, including the one OP have an interest in.

coolmanman

Guest

Re: Love trouble.

This isn't true and you have an awful social understanding if you consider this a fact.
I said "My opinion", and I see it all the time on Fb

I thought when I read your post that what is an opinion is limited to your thoughts on the OP, and why he has problems. It was the second sentence I reacted to, the one where you stated that "most girls only goes for abusive ****", which I would consider a misogynistic thing to say. That part wasn't stated like an opinion at all, but rather an observation which you seems to consider to be true.

But now when I see you have a valid argument I guess that isn't relevant. Because surely, your limited circle of Facebook friends is applicable on most women on the planet, including the one OP have an interest in.

I never said "most girls only go for abusive ****" and if you wanted me to add on to that I would of told you that later in their life they realize who the gentlemen really are.

Watashii

Guest

Re: Love trouble.

I never said "most girls only go for abusive ****" and if you wanted me to add on to that I would of told you that later in their life they realize who the gentlemen really are.

I paraphrased, but it was heavily implicit in your message and isn't a very heavy stretch to make.

And yes please, do us all a favor and tell us more about your sexist views.

coolmanman

Guest

Re: Love trouble.

I never said "most girls only go for abusive ****" and if you wanted me to add on to that I would of told you that later in their life they realize who the gentlemen really are.

I paraphrased, but it was heavily implicit in your message and isn't a very heavy stretch to make.

And yes please, do us all a favor and tell us more about your sexist views.

Gladly, Irl I make a lot of sexist jokes, some against women and some against men, I could care less about people hating on me.
So that's why this will be my last comment in this topic before I full out flame and get banned. Good day sir

Last edited by coolmanman (Mar 15 2012 5:50:20 am)

Pyromaniac

Official Caroler

Joined: 2015-02-15

Posts: 4,868

Re: Love trouble.

Ok. Since none of that.. Weird argument was helping pik at ALL, I'll give you some advice.

First of all, I would get to know her. Cuz obviously you have never talked to her. So she may be a total ****. Find out what she's like first before you make your move. I personally really have no interest in dating at this point, but people can be total bums if you don't have a girlfriend...

But anyways, so after you get to know her (which implies actually TALKING TO HER) make her laugh, be funny, but not overly funny that she might think your obnoxious. Then ask her to do something with you, for fun, don't call it a date yet however.

Now here is where I found that it gets weird.. And where I made some mistakes. Don't get TOO close to her before asking her out.. Then she will pull the "oh no ________ we are too close your like my brother blablablabla"

So then ask her to a movie or something as a legit date...

Your prolly a nice guy, so get over your fear! There is really nothing we can do for you except tell you what you probably already know.

But idk how old you are.. Cuz if your in high school, having a serious relationship will only complicate things... Like what about when you graduate?

Well, good luck! Just make conversation in the form class..

ILoveBacon

Guest

Re: Love trouble.

Okay, so.
What are you so afraid of?

Making myself look like a complete idiot infront if everyone.

I'm pretty sure no one's going to question you glancing at her, although I suppose staring lustfully might creep her out.

But I feel that its wrong. And I will probably mess up and will end up staring lustfully.

Why are you scared of making this topic? Chances are she's not on here and even if she was the only way she'd know who you are is by thinking 'Oh hey there's a guy in my form class that I sit next to' but she'd probably know that the chances of Patience is Key being whatever your real name is are astronomically high. So she wouldn't suspect a thing even if she saw this topic because it's just improbable. And also, she's seriously probably never going to see this topic.

But my friends do play the game and go onto the forums occasionally, and once its out there, theres no getting it back.

Okay, so, technically your heart is constantly bleeding because that's what it does, and with your brain dying, you are... a zombie. I guess. /notsrs

FVGTSDNKJCEDFTSGBUHNJZM

Anyway, you could make a good impression by... being yourself. Be confident, if she rejects you, oh well, you'll get over it. Trust me. Try not to be nervous when speaking to her, don't be all shifty eyes and looking everywhere but at her.

I shall try, but I get nervous easily.

I don't even know what your fear is, so if you'd answer that, that would be great.

Also, as for asking her out, this is what you do, except I'm by no means a pro at this considering I've never been asked out / asked anyone out:
- greet 'Hello...'
- compliment 'You look nice today.' [Or replace nice with something like gorgeous, cute, etc, but not sexy/hot/ anything that may indicate lust.]
- ask out on a date 'So I was wondering if you'd go out with me'
I think there should be something between compliment and asking out, but I have no idea what it would be. Perhaps a conversation. But not about the weather.

If your a pro on the subject then how do you know all this without being asked out or asking anyone out before. And I won't be talking about good weather any time soon, I live in a pretty rainy place.

Also, your heart is deceiving you. Just saying.
Getting a girlfriend is by no means the most important thing ever, I swear to you. Being a couple means attachment which means lack of freedom. Like a bird. But not anything that has the same mate for life. But still, it's not important. No matter what your heart is telling you, getting a girlfriend isn't that important.

It may not be that important but I can still try.

'Willing to be with her'... There's something about that that just sounds... off, like she should feel honored or privileged to be with you. Like you're lowering yourself. I might just be over analyzing every word you say, though. Do you mean you're willing to risk pain, free time, and heartbreak to be with her? (To me that doesn't sound like a big deal but I don't think before getting into relationships so lol)

I was tired and had alcohol that night and I didn't have time to think about the post properly, and you are analyzing every word I say.

I guess it might be a big deal if you perhaps have a fear of commitment, in which case, making this topic says a lot about you.

Every topic I make tells alot about me.

Okay, as for her going out with you, you should be asking 'WHY THE HELL NOT?'

WHY THE HELL SHOULD I? Chances are that I'm just an idiot to her.

Also, the word love is so so so overused. It pains me.

I have a very small vocabulary. What other words could I use?

Chances are that very few teenage relationships are long lasting love. By long-lasting love, I mean the kind of love that explains why, through thick and thin, a couple would be married for thirty, forty, fifty, sixty, etc years despite all the fighting and bickering and whatnot. Until death do we part: Extreme Edition.

But yet, why not give it a shot?

Infatuation is the state of being completely carried away by unreasoned passion or love: 'expresses the headlong libidinal (that means SEXUAL DESIRE) attraction of addictive love. Usually, one is inspired with an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for someone.
source

Sexual Desire? Well she... How do I say this... She doesn't fit into the usual fetish. But I see where your coming from and it cant really tell if it is infatuation, but because you think it is, then I'll go with that.

Just chillax.
The best cure for this is distance. Distance yourself mentally, emotionally, and physically (this sounds horribly familiar to me... -cough-) and I'm sure you'll get over it. You may find this helpful.

I will try this if I find out it definatly is infatuation.

I will go through the rest of the comments tommorow, because I dont have time right now. But just to let you know, I was 13 in Februrary. If you dont think I act my age.. Then you dont.

Last edited by ILoveBacon (Mar 17 2012 1:14:28 am)

Zoey2070

Moderation Team

From: Shakuras

Joined: 2015-02-15

Posts: 5,511

Re: Love trouble.

Okay, so.
What are you so afraid of?

Making myself look like a complete idiot infront if everyone.

Also, as for asking her out, this is what you do, except I'm by no means a pro at this considering I've never been asked out / asked anyone out

If your a pro on the subject then how do you know all this without being asked out or asking anyone out before. And I won't be talking about good weather any time soon, I live in a pretty rainy place.

Also, your heart is deceiving you. Just saying.
Getting a girlfriend is by no means the most important thing ever, I swear to you. Being a couple means attachment which means lack of freedom. Like a bird. But not anything that has the same mate for life. But still, it's not important. No matter what your heart is telling you, getting a girlfriend isn't that important.

It may not be that important but I can still try.

Okay, as for her going out with you, you should be asking 'WHY THE HELL NOT?'

WHY THE HELL SHOULD I? Chances are that I'm just an idiot to her.

Also, the word love is so so so overused. It pains me.

I have a very small vocabulary. What other words could I use?

Chances are that very few teenage relationships are long lasting love. By long-lasting love, I mean the kind of love that explains why, through thick and thin, a couple would be married for thirty, forty, fifty, sixty, etc years despite all the fighting and bickering and whatnot. Until death do we part: Extreme Edition.

But yet, why not give it a shot?

Well, so what if you look like an idiot? At least you won't end up regretting not even trying.

More power to you.

You ask why the hell should you, yet you've said like 3 other times you want to try. So how about doing it because you want to, or just to prove you CAN?

I don't know. It's one of those moments where I wish the English language had more words.

I pretty much said 'why not' and you asked 'why' so now you're asking why not. Seriously, make up your mind.
If you want to do it, work up the courage and do it, if you're against it, don't do it. Do what you feel is right, and try not to think too much about it, just do it. If she says no, so what? You'll move on, oh well, her loss. If she says yes, great. You don't have anything to lose, really.

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proc's discorb stylish themes for forums/the game
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danke bluecloud thank u raphe    [this section of my sig is dedicated to everything i've loved that's ever died]
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Tako

Member

From: Memphis, Tennessee, USA

Joined: 2015-08-10

Posts: 6,663

Website

Re: Love trouble.

If you want to do it, work up the courage and do it, if you're against it, don't do it. Do what you feel is right, and try not to think too much about it, just do it. If she says no, so what? You'll move on, oh well, her loss. If she says yes, great. You don't have anything to lose, really.

Exactly.

Some things just require your immediate reactions - this being one of them. Just find something trivial to talk about for a couple weeks. You'll know if you really like her or not by then.

Sometimes people turn completely sour after you introduce a relationship. Outside appearances aren't always true.

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Yeah, well, you know that's just like, uh, your opinion, man.

Chewy

Banned

Re: Love trouble.

Well seeing as you failed to acknowledge my post I'll just give you generic advice. Start talking to her but don't get too far into the friendship or you will get friendzoned. Once you start talking to her more often, get her number. Text her every now and then. If she doesn't seem like she's ignoring every text you send, ask her out. Do it in person though. Makes you look good and shows that you have integrity.

Jaybm

Guest

Re: Love trouble.

Become friends with her. Don't be like "will you be my friend?" But make her your friend, like you make everyone else your friend. Naturally. Make her laugh, talk to her about things you have in common, and all that other junk you do with friends. Then once your friends, you'll know her better. Then you'll know if you really do like like her or not. If you still are afraid, then she's just not "right" for you. If you do like her, ask her out when the time is right.

       You won't be afraid of being declined (as much) if your friends with her. If she says no, then your still friends right? Isn't some sort of relationship, better than none? It's better to have loved and loss, instead of never being loved at all. Or something.

       Everyone is different, so this is just what i would do. You may not be "ready" for just one gigantic step into a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. Baby steps. Just take your time.

The Smirking Mage

Guest

Re: Love trouble.

I also knew a couple of people who went through Patience's case around the age of 10. Both were trying to get to a British girl. O ne only did it per request, but the other one, ehhh, really took her seriously and on several occasions had disturbing pictures of her on his computer and openly admitted it actually.
Whatever he did, drew too much attenton ever since many boys had gone after. Real heartbreaker.

32OrtonEdge32dh

Member

From: DMV

Joined: 2015-02-15

Posts: 5,166

Website

Re: Love trouble.

1. Find a way to say 'Hi'.   Maybe offer her a pen/pencil or paper if she needs it.   Show her that you're a genuinely nice guy before actually talking to her.

2. Get to know her on a basic level.   You don't want to be, like, her best friend (FRIENDZONE), but you should know stuff about her.   But don't come on too hard.   A question a day is fine.   Maybe favorite color, favorite game, TV show, etc.

3. Ask her out.   Try not to be an awkward f***, just tell her how you feel and maybe ask her if she wants to go get some pizza or a movie or something (if you can get a ride).

4.

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Muffin

Guest

Re: Love trouble.

had alcohol that night

Ok um seriously how old are you? I thought you were like 10...

The Smirking Mage

Guest

Re: Love trouble.

After getting in touch with old friends, I just found out the aforementioned(Last post) person had done something that really displesed the second person going after her. She married another(chubby) friend of mine. I was going to try to compensate for the second person, help...

ILoveBacon

Guest

Re: Love trouble.

had alcohol that night

Ok um seriously how old are you? I thought you were like 10...

13. You can have alcohol under 16 with adult supervision.

krubby

Member

Joined: 2015-06-23

Posts: 1,190

Re: Love trouble.

had alcohol that night

Ok um seriously how old are you? I thought you were like 10...

13. You can have alcohol under 16 with adult supervision.

*throws hat down in disgust* Dammit! Why did I have to be stuck in America! I could've been having fun drinking for the last decade instead of a measly two years.