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mangoman

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Skyscraper Secrets - A Sneak Peek of an Upcoming Story By Mangoman

This is a new story I am making, but I don't know if its great... I'm just not really... "feeling" it. Please, tell me your comments and suggestions, and if enough people like it I might make more.

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     Two people, a girl and a boy, walk into the giant building. They go up to the front desk and ask the person, ?May we see Mr. Raver??
?Names??
?Tiffany and Timothy Raver,? Tiffany says.
?Okay, the elevators are broken so you will have to go up the stairs. Go up to the third floor and go through the door. Once through, turn left and then turn left again. You will see a door that stays ?stairs 2?. Go up the stairs to floor five. Once there turn right, than left, then right, then right, left, left, right, right, and you will see more stairs. Go up until the eighteenth floor. Go through the door and turn left, then left, right, then right. There will be a dead end but a door in front of you. Go in there and Mr. Raver will be in there,? the person replies. Timothy and Tiffany is puzzled.
?Okay?? Tiffany says.
?No problem,? he replies. They start walking toward the stairs and get ready. Soon they?re at the feet of it.
?Ready?? Tiffany says.
?Ready,? Timothy replies. They start walking up the stairs.They run up to the third floor and are tired.
?Come on, lets get going,? Tiffany says. They start walking. They turn left and then left again. They see a door that says ?stairs 2?. They go in the room and walk up even more stairs. They get to floor 5. They go into floor 5. Soon, they?re confused. ?Did he say to go left, left, right, right, left, left, right, and right?? she asks.
?No, I think it was left, right, right, left, left, left, left,? he says.
?No, wasn?t it left, right, left, right, right, right??
?How about right, right, left, right, right, left??
?Or, left, left, left, left, right, right,?
?Lets just go randomly,?
?Okay,? Timothy finishes the conversation and they start going. They turn right, then left, then left, then right, then right, then right. No stairs in sight. They keep walking around until they see the same stairs they went up. ?We just went in a circle,? Timothy says. Tiffany nods. ?This is like a labyrinth!? he says. They start walking around more and more, until the find the next set of stairs. ?FINALLY!? Timothy says. They walk up to the eighteenth floor. They then go left, left, right, than right. They see a door in front of them. ?Daddy!? Tiffany yells. She opens and runs through the door. Instead of seeing an alive dad, she sees a dead Mr. Raver with a knife in his breast and a broken window.

skullz17

Member

Joined: 2015-02-15

Posts: 6,699

Re: Skyscraper Secrets - A Sneak Peek of an Upcoming Story By Mangoman

I like it! I'm guessing this story is going to be about finding the killer then getting revenge. I think it might be a bit predictable but I'll wait and see.

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thx for sig bobithan

rocktheworld313

Guest

Re: Skyscraper Secrets - A Sneak Peek of an Upcoming Story By Mangoman

I like any kind of story.