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RhazzleFrazzle

Member

Joined: 2015-11-10

Posts: 4,260

help me on an essay

i had to write a persuasive essay for english class, and i wanted some feedback on the essay. naturally, i picked SOPA for my essay. give me some feedback so i can make the essay better.

RhazzleFrazzle

Member

Joined: 2015-11-10

Posts: 4,260

Re: help me on an essay

Double post allowed by Bass5098

Congress has been proposing a new bill in the house and the senate. The house has a bill called SOPA (stop online piracy act) and the senate has a bill called PIPA (protect intellectual property act). Both are similar, and both will end free speech on the internet. The purposes of these bills are to stop foreign companies from making money off of copyrighted material, but these bills have dangerous side effects. Copyright holders earn the power to remove any website that has infringing material or links to infringing material without notifying the website owner. Websites will also be held responsible for user submitted content, and the user who posts that content will not only get the whole site shut down, but will get up to a $250,000 fine and a 5 year prison sentence. Sites like reddit, youtube, and facebook can get shut down for a few infringing posts. Search engines like bing and google could be shut down if some of their results link to infringing material. These bills are very flawed, and controversial. Several websites on the internet openly protest the site to try and keep the bills from being passed. A small time website could be shut down and cause a lawsuit that bankrupts the owner. The worst part of this bill is that there are ways around it.
     There has been protest against the site all over the internet. Several websites cover up their logo as a protest to the bill to show what would happen if the bill passes. On the day im writing this, reddit and the English Wikipedia have entirely shut down to protest this bill. Thousands of other sites are taking part such as reddit and boingboing. Nearly all websites have a strong stance against these laws. One domain name registering service called godaddy announced their support for the bill, but stopped supporting it after they lost thousands of customers that opposed the bill, inclucing a popular network called cheeseburger.
     People always make posts on websites, but if this bill passes, a lot of their posts will be illegal. If you have a copyrighted image, part of an article, or even a clip of you singing a copyrighted song, a copyright holder could ruin your life. As I mentioned earlier, you get a $250,000 fine and a 5 year prison sentence. A teenager who posts an image on reddit could lose everything. Anyone who sings karaoke on youtube is a felon. Some copyright owners on youtube even have power to remove videos at will, even if they have no infringing material and remove protest videos.
     This bill is going to ?block sites?, but it has one major flaw. The method used is DNS blocking. DNS stands for domain name server and is what converts a websites domain name to its IP address to take you to the site. There is a way to easily circumvent a DNS block. First, I need to explain how the DNS works. Every ISP has a table with 2 columns stored in its databases. One column has the domain name of a site, and the adjacent column has the websites IP address, so when you enter a site name, it finds the IP address and takes you to the site. On windows, if you go to command prompt and type ping ?website name? it gives you the ip address and you can enter that in the address bar in any browser and it gets around the DNS block. There are also browser extensions that you can install to get around any block that takes effect after the law passes.
     Since the law will ruin lives, is under constant protest, and doesn?t even work, this law should not be passed. There are several sites with petitions against the bill, and you need to sign them. If you convince enough people in congress to vote no on the bill, then there is still a chance to stop it. This law will restrict freedom of speech if it passes and bring censorship to America.

tak4n

Member

Joined: 2015-02-17

Posts: 1,883

Re: help me on an essay

I don't think anyone would be non lazy to read that... Can you shorten it down or something? Because I am sure too lazy to read that.

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a3person

Member

From: Dream Realm

Joined: 2015-10-31

Posts: 1,765

Website

Re: help me on an essay

The last sentence of your first essay should be the main ideas and then the paragraphs following should have their first sentence relate to one of the main ideas stated in the last sentence in the first essay and that paragraph should talk about it. My reading teacher taught me that format.

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I'm in love with a dragon <3

MaxDG/MXIII

Guest

Re: help me on an essay

I don't think anyone would be non lazy to read that... Can you shorten it down or something? Because I am sure too lazy to read that.

Anyone who's too lazy to read that is too lazy to read a book. And he can't shorten it down, then it wouldn't be an essay anymore.

Ratburntro44

Member

Joined: 1970-01-01

Posts: 1,383

Website

Re: help me on an essay

I either wouldn't mention pipa, or would talk a bit more about it in the body. Most of the details seem aimed at sopa.

Slushie

Member

From: look behind u

Joined: 2015-03-04

Posts: 504

Re: help me on an essay

Some grammar errors (capitalization of the website names, etc.)
The whole paragraph on DNS blocking seems unnecessary as well.

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ok

Greenzoid2

Guest

Re: help me on an essay

Just a few things I try to include in my introductory paragraph:

Attention grabber topic sentence.
small anecdote.
one sentence summary of each body paragraph
thesis statement including the point of each body paragraph in chronological order.

I always make sure that the paragraphs are in the order that they appear in the intro paragraph, it helps it read smoother in my opinion.

Last edited by Greenzoid2 (Jan 19 2012 10:59:30 pm)

Pike270

Guest

Re: help me on an essay

An argumentive/persuasive essay.....hmmm EXACTLY what I'm doing in English 10 H.

I could help you in Cod-Storm if you'd like. It would be much better than just a bunch of forum posts IMO.

PM me what you think.

RhazzleFrazzle

Member

Joined: 2015-11-10

Posts: 4,260

Re: help me on an essay

An argumentive/persuasive essay.....hmmm EXACTLY what I'm doing in English 10 H.

I could help you in Cod-Storm if you'd like. It would be much better than just a bunch of forum posts IMO.

PM me what you think.

lol im still banned for 2 months

Shift

Guest

Re: help me on an essay

Mwuahaha, I can be the ultimate English Nazi. What level of English are you taking? Otherwise, I'll assume you're at my level, and rip this to shreds.

Tako

Member

From: Memphis, Tennessee, USA

Joined: 2015-08-10

Posts: 6,663

Website

Re: help me on an essay

Congress has proposed a new bill in the House of Representatives and the Senate. The House of Representatives has a bill called SOPA (Stop Online Piracy Act) and the Senate has a bill called PIPA/PROTECT IP Act (Preventing Real Online Threats to Economic Creativity and Theft of Intellectual Property Act). Both are similar, and both could end free speech on the internet. The purposes of these bills is to stop foreign companies from making money off of copyrighted material, but these bills have dangerous side-effects. Copyright holders could earn the power to remove any website that has infringing material or links to infringing material without notifying the website owner. Websites will also be held responsible for user submitted content, and the user who posts illegal content could not only get the whole site shut down, but also get up to a $250,000 fine and a 5 year prison sentence. Sites like Reddit, YouTube, and Facebook could be shut down for a few infringing posts. Search engines like Bing and Google could be shut down if some of their results link to infringing material. These bills are very flawed, and controversial. Several websites on the internet openly protest the site to try and keep the bills from being passed. A small time website could be shut down and cause a lawsuit that bankrupts the owner. The worst part of this bill is that there are ways around it.
     There has been protests against these bills all over the internet. Several websites cover up their logo as a protest to the bill to show what would happen if the bill passes. On the day this was written, Reddit and the English Wikipedia have entirely shut down to protest this bill. Thousands of other sites are taking part such as reddit and Boingboing. Nearly all websites have a strong stance against these laws. One domain name registering service called Godaddy announced their support for the bill, but stopped supporting it after they lost thousands of customers that opposed the bill, including a popular network called Cheeseburger.
     People always make posts on websites, but if this bill passes, a lot of their posts will become illegal. If you have a copyrighted image, part of an article, or even a clip of you singing a copyrighted song, a copyright holder could ruin your life. As I mentioned earlier, you could get a $250,000 fine and a 5 year prison sentence. A teenager who posts an image on Reddit could lose everything. Anyone who sings karaoke on YouTube is a felon. Some copyright owners on YouTube even have power to remove videos at will, even if they have no infringing material and remove protest videos.
     This bill is going to ?block sites?, but it has one major flaw. The method used is DNS blocking. DNS stands for Domain Name Server and is what converts a website's domain name to its IP address to take you to the site. There is a way to easily circumvent a DNS block. First, I need to explain how the DNS works. Every ISP has a table with two columns stored in its databases. One column has the domain name of a site, and the adjacent column has the websites IP address; so when you enter a site name, it finds the IP address and takes you to the site. On windows, if you go to the command prompt and type "ping <website name>" it gives you the IP address and you can enter that in the address bar of any browser and it gets around the DNS block. There are also browser extensions that you can install to get around any block that takes effect after the law passes.
     Since the law will ruin lives, undergoes constant protest, and doesn?t even work correctly, this law should not be put into effect. There are several sites with petitions against the bill, and you should sign them. If you convince enough people in Congress to vote against the bill, then there is still a chance to stop it. This law will restrict freedom of speech if it passes and will bring censorship to America.

Pretty short. What's the required word-count?

And, if I were a teacher I would want some quotes from the thing you're stepping on. To not only give a sense of professionalism, but also a sense of objectiveness (meaning it's fact-based instead of opinion-based).

Last edited by Tako (Jan 21 2012 5:11:08 pm)

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Yeah, well, you know that's just like, uh, your opinion, man.