Do you think I could just leave this part blank and it'd be okay? We're just going to replace the whole thing with a header image anyway, right?
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At the far end of the forums
where the Campaign Suggestions go
and the posts smell slow-and-sour where they're post
and no people ever post excepting old crows...
is the Topic of the Lifted Evilbunny.
And deep in the Emoticons, some people say,
if you look deep enough you can still see, today,
where the Evilbunny once woot
just as long as it could
before somebody lifted the Evilbunny away.
What was the Evilbunny?
Any why was it there?
And why was it lifted and taken somewhere
from the far end of town where the posters did post?
The old Pingohits still lives here.
Ask him. He knows.
You won't see the Pingohits.
Don't unlock his gate door.
He stays in his Lerkim on top of his level.
He stays in his Lerkim, cold, unlike the devil,
where he makes his own smilies
out of piff-puffered pixels.
And on special dank midnights in August,
into the lobby
and sometimes he chats
and tells how the Evilbunny was lifted away.
He'll tell you, perhaps...
if you're willing to like.
On the end of a rope
he lets down a tin pail decoration
and you have to toss in fifteen likes and a Smekdation
and the shell of a great-great-great-grandfather Chris.
Then he pulls up the pail decoration,
makes a most careful count
to see if you've liked him
the proper amount.
Then he hides what you paid him
away in his Snuvv,
his secret strange hole
in his gruvvulous glove.
Then he grunts, I will call you by Skyper-ma-Phone,
for the secrets I tell you are for your ears alone.
Down mones the Skyper-ma-Phone to your ear
and the old Pingohits's whispers are not very clear,
since they have to come down
through a intranet hose,
and he sounds
as if he had
smallish bricks up his nose.
Now I'll tell you, he says, with his teeth sounding grey,
how the Evilbunny got lifted and taken away...
It all started way back...
such a long, long time back...
Way back in the days when the grass was still green
and the water was still wet
and the bricks were still clean,
and the song of the Kaslai-Swans rang out in space...
one morning, I came to this glorious place.
And I first saw the woots!
The Whatula Woots!
The bright-colored tips of the Whatula Woots!
Brick after Brick in the fresh morning breeze.
And under the trees, I saw Brown Bimps-ba-loots
frisking about in their Bimps-ba-loot suits
as the played in the shade and ate Whatula Fruits.
From the rippulous water
came the comfortable sound
of the Hummerz-Fish's piano
while pressing up and down.
But those woots! Those woots!
Those Whatula Woots!
All my life I'd been searching
for woots with these roots.
The touch of their tips
was much softer than silk.
And they had the sweet smell
of fresh butterfly milk.
I felt a great leaping
of joy in my heart.
I knew just what I'd do!
I unloaded my cart.
In no time at all, I had built a small shop.
Then I chopped down a Whatula Woot with one chop.
And with great skillful skill and with great speedy speed,
I took the soft tip. And I knitted a Thwoot!
The instant I'd finished, I heard a ga-Zump!
I saw something pop out of the base
of the woot I'd chopped down. It was sort of a man.
Describe him?...That's hard. I don't know if I can.
He was shortish. And oldish.
And greyish. And ****.
And he spoke with a voice
that was groggish and bossy.
Mister! he said with a sawdusty toot,
I am the Evilbunny. I chat for the Woots.
I chat for the woots, for the woots have no keyboards.
And I'm asking you, sir, with my shift key pressed down--
he was very upset as he shouted and lipped--
What's that THING you've made out of my Whatula tip?
Look, Evilbunny, I said. There's no cause for report.
I chopped just one woot. No need to abort.
I'm being quite useful. This thing is a Thwoot.
A Thwoot's a Fine-Something-That-Is-Absolute!
It's a vote. It's a like. It's a dime. It's a hat.
But it has other uses. Yes, far beyond that.
You can use it for levels. For chatting! For wheats!
Or curtains! Or covers for all forum post seats!
The Evilbunny said,
Sir! You are crazy, kapoot!
There is no one on earth
who would buy that fool Thwoot!
But the very next minute I proved he was wrong.
For, just at that minute, a noob came along,
and he thought that the Thwoot I had knitted was great.
He happily bought it for three ninety-eight.
I laughed at the Evilbunny, You poor stupid guy!
You never can tell what some people will buy.
I repeat, cried the Evilbunny,
I chat for the woots!
I'm busy, I told him.
Shut up, you old brute.
I rushed 'cross the level, and in no time at all,
built a radio-phone. I put in a quick call.
I called all my brothers and uncles and aunts
and I said, Listen here! Here's a wonderful chance
for the whole Pingohits Family to get mighty rich!
Get over here fast! I'll give you the link.
Put it into your browser. And a level'll show up.
And, in no time at all,
in the factory I built,
the whole Pingohits Family
was working full tilt.
We were all knitting Thwoots
like businessmen in suits,
to the sound of the chopping
of Whatula Woots.
Oh! Baby! Oh!
How my business did grow!
Now, chopping one woot
at a time
was too slow.
So I quickly invented my Super-Woot-Hacker
which hacked in four Whatula Woots at one smacker.
We were making Thwoots
four times as fast as before!
And that Evilbunny?... He didn't show up any more.
But the next week
my new office door.
He snapped, I'm the Evilbunny who chats for the woots
which you seem to be hacking as fast as you choose.
But I'm also in charge of the Brown Bimps-ba-loots
who played in the shade in their Bimps-ba-loot suits
and happily lived, eating Whatula Fruits.
NOW...thanks to your hacking my woots to the ground,
there's not enough Whatula Fruit to go 'round.
And my poor Bimps-ba-loots are all getting the crummies
because they have gas, and no food, in their tummies!
They loved living here. But I can't let them stay.
They'll have to find food. And I hope that they may.
Good luck, boys, he cried. And he sent them away.
I, the Pingohits, felt sad
as I watched them all go.
business is business!
And business must grow
regardless of crummies in tummies, you know.
I meant no harm. I most truly did not.
But I had to grow bigger. So bigger I got.
I biggered my level. I biggered my roads.
I biggered my bricks. I biggered the loads
of the Thwoots I shipped out. I was shipping them forth
to the South! To the East! To the West! To the North!
I went right on biggering...selling more Thwoots.
And I biggered my likes, which everyone likes.
Then again he came back! I was fixing some pipes
when that old nuisance Evilbunny came back with more gripes.
I am the Evilbunny, he coughed and he whiffed.
He sneezed and he snuffled. He snarggled. He sniffed.
Pingohits! he cried with a cruffulous croak.
Pingohits! You're making such smogulous smoke!
My poor Kaslai-Swans...why, they can't sing a note!
No one can sing who has smog in his throat.
And so, said the Evilbunny,
--please pardon my cough--
they cannot live here.
So I'm sending them off.
Where will they go?...
I don't hopefully know.
They may have to look for a month...or a year...
To escape from the smog you've smogged-up around here.
What's more, snapped the Evilbunny. (His dander was up.)
Let me say a few words about Gluppity-Glupp.
Your hacking chugs on, day and night without stop
making Gluppity-Glup. Also Schloppity-Schlopp.
And what do you do with this leftover goo?...
I'll show you. You dirty old Pingohits man, you!
You're glumping the pond where the Hummerz-Fish pressed!
No more can they press, for their eyes are a mess.
So I'm sending them off. Oh, their future is dreary.
They'll walk on their fins and get woefully weary
in search of some water that isn't so smeary.
I hear things are just as bad up in Lake EE
And then I got mad.
I got terribly mad.
I yelled at the Evilbunny, Now listen here, Dad!
All you do is yap-yap and say, Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!
Well, I have my rights, sir, and I'm telling you
I intend to go on doing just what I do!
And, for your information, you Evilbunny, I'm figgering
turning MORE Whatula Woots in Thwoots
which everyone, EVERYONE, EVERYONE uses!
And at that very moment, we heard a loud whack!
From outside in the fields came a sickening smack
of an hack on a woot. Then we heard the woot fall.
The very last Whatula Woot of them all!
No more woots. No more Thwoots. No more work to be done.
So, in no time, my uncles and aunts, every one,
all waved me good-bye. Pressed x on their tab
and thought of what once made them not drab.
Now all that was left 'neath the bad-smelling sky
was my big empty factory...
The Evilbunny said nothing. Just gave me a glance...
just gave me a very sad, sad backward glance...
as he lifted himself by the seat of his pants.
And I'll never forget the grim look on his face
when he heisted himself and took leave of this place,
through a hole in the smog, without leaving a trace.
And all that the Evilbunny left here in this mess
was a small pile of rocks, with one word...
Whatever that meant, well, I just couldn't guess.
That was long, long ago.
But each day since that day
I've sat here and worried
and worried away.
Through the years, while my bricks
have fallen apart,
I've worried about it
with all of my heart.
But now, says the Pingohits,
Now that you're here,
the word of the Evilbunny seems perfectly clear.
UNLESS someone like you
woots a whole awful lot,
nothing is going to get better.
Catch! calls the Pingohits.
He lets something fall.
It's a Whatula Brick.
It's the last one of all!
You're in charge of the last of the Whatula Bricks.
And Whatula Woots are what is absolute.
Plant a new Whatula. Treat it with care.
Give it clean water. And feed it fresh air.
Grow a forest. Protect it from hackers that hack.
Then the Evilbunny
and all of his friends
may come back.
diff GOOD suggestion take in consideration thank you
But if he disagrees?
<Diff55> No problem
diff GOOD suggestion take in consideration thank you
But if he disagrees?Pingohits wrote:
<Diff55> No problem
@gp68 yeah but it disappears once you leave the page
It would be nice if the woot didn't appear in the first place, in that case. I know I don't need to, but I have to remove the woot which results in yet another message popping up.
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