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my doom 2016 review

BREAKING NEWS: local man "too angry" to die. late last night, UAC ceo olivia pierce was seen summoning demons and opening multiple portals to hell in an attempt for all of hell to take over mars, when a man who lived near by witnessed his pet rabbit was stomped dead by a hell knight and decided, in anger, to stop it all single handedly. "i told him to stop the demons and turn off the power but he broke all our generators and he won't listen to me," said UAC owner samuel hayden when we interviewed him. the man who was seen "ripping" and "tearing" demons apart has been named "the doom slayer" by the ancient texts found by samuel hayden and his elite guard team when they went on an expedition into hell, and when we tried to talk to him for an interview, he looked at us, grunted, and ran off after demons, firing on all cylinders. it is believed that centuries ago, the doom slayer man was captured by the demons, and when the UAC entered hell itself, they found him sealed in a stone casket, along with his armor. his armor was dubbed "the praetor suit" and was found to be completely indestructible to all weaponry used by the UAC for field testing. the suit was believed to be out of power and immovable, until it was discovered that the actual power source for the suit was the doom slayer himself only until recently. there isn't much we can do, but when more information is known, we will inform all audiences tuning into UAC NEWS. and now, the weather.