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#1 2019-10-07 06:22:57

Beardlicker
Member
Joined: 2018-05-05
Posts: 38

garbage

Kkay wrote:
Beardlicker wrote:
Kkay wrote:
Beardlicker wrote:
Kkay wrote:

What are you doing this weekend? //forums.everybodyedits.com/img/smilies/wink

joe //forums.everybodyedits.com/img/smilies/wink

Joe who?

joe grandma! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

You committed the ultimate cardinal sin, you got personal. You, as a team of professionals trying to make money, got personal. You got personal and decided to insult your playbase, calling us "****-hats" and "freeloaders". Not a wise move.

We won't forget this. You've set a new tone for the kind of interaction we'll be having with you. It's a cold one. One where there aren't any illusions about the reality of the situation. Previous notions of "family" are dead. We are mere consumers to you, and that is obvious.

You have chosen to bring in a new era of hostility and bitterness. Well done. Great PR move.

:clownemoji::clownemoji::clownemoji:


I am ashamed to call myself a gamer. I do not want to live on this planet anymore.

Offline

#2 2019-10-07 06:30:25

Beardlicker
Member
Joined: 2018-05-05
Posts: 38

Re: garbage

Kkay wrote:
Beardlicker wrote:
Kkay wrote:
Beardlicker wrote:
Kkay wrote:

Joe who?

joe grandma! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

You committed the ultimate cardinal sin, you got personal. You, as a team of professionals trying to make money, got personal. You got personal and decided to insult your playbase, calling us "****-hats" and "freeloaders". Not a wise move.

We won't forget this. You've set a new tone for the kind of interaction we'll be having with you. It's a cold one. One where there aren't any illusions about the reality of the situation. Previous notions of "family" are dead. We are mere consumers to you, and that is obvious.

You have chosen to bring in a new era of hostility and bitterness. Well done. Great PR move.

:clownemoji::clownemoji::clownemoji:

//forums.everybodyedits.com/img/smilies/cool:cool::cool::cool::cool::cool::cool::mad::lol::mad::mad::P

ok


I am ashamed to call myself a gamer. I do not want to live on this planet anymore.

Offline

#3 2019-10-07 06:30:25, last edited by Kkay (2019-10-07 06:33:38)

Kkay
Formerly Kaydog99
From: Canda eh
Joined: 2015-08-20
Posts: 403

Re: garbage

onjit02/20/2019
I just want to preface this with that I do not care if you respond in anger. Anger can be good, if it does not cloud your thinking too much. It lets you know something is wrong. I think we're getting at the source of the issues here. You think I am attacking what you said. I am not. I have not made any evaluative claims about your knowledge. I'm pretty sure I've repeatedly said that you didn't say anything that was explicitly wrong, and that if you did, I wouldn't have the tools to know. I talked generally on the subject of non experts talking about expert subjects, and how that generally goes, and why people might have a problem with that, me being one of those people. I don't have any problems with your "argument", which is why I haven't brought it up. I have only discussed the problems of making a field easily digestible, and then regurgitating that easily digestible material. It's late Friday here, and I'm getting a little drunk, so I'll be honest. I think your inclination towards getting defensive is clouding your ability to read what people are saying in good faith. You are reciting definitions and name dropping fallacies and things like gate keeping, but you are not actively engaging with the things being said. I am not sure what logic I have not yet responded to, or what evidence is somehow refuting my position.
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im like Northernlion up in this **** welcome to NLSS **** the grand total of zane within your mind right now is through the roof im like a bio major on steroids i am the alpha and the omega of **** Twitch will have to devote three entire hours of broadcasting in order to get any of this across to the general public the masses will become scared of my power im a wanted man the president wants my **** on a silver platter but since im the master of zane i can just go full **** lionDemon in a trench coat on this **** im a master of impressions half the time i dont even recognize my own voice not out of stupidity like you im just that good at isaac im like a pot play right about now im one zany son of a ****
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onjit02/25/2019
No. The hatred is not irrational at all. The show is garbage that treats its audience with contempt, and act as if they are barely sentient, and the writing is the laziest that it can possibly get away with. The worst part though, is that they will often go out of their way to make fun of their critics, and then say that the critics are right and the old NLSS was miles better (which it was) and then go right back to making fun of the critics for being right. I don't know if you are referring to Squares (the show that was cancelled in favor of the NLSS) or the old The Roundtable Podcast, but both of those were really good shows that only people with **** taste would call bad. Its okay if you didn't find them enjoyable, but to say that they were bad is just wrong.
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onjit02/27/2019
ATTENTION ALL THOSE THAT BELIEVE IN QUALITY CHAT AND THE SHUTDOWN OF OPPRESSION

IN LESS THAN 72 HOURS WE MUST TAKE ACTION IF THE CURRENT OWNER, JIDRIL, DOES NOT COMPLY WITH OUR JUST REQUESTS

WE HAVE A PLAN - BUT IT MUST REMAIN SECRET UNTIL THE RELEVANT TIME

ALL THOSE THAT ARE TRUE SUPPORTERS OF A CHAT FREE FROM TYRANNY PLEASE SEND ME A DM AND I WILL TELL YOU HOW YOU CAN HELP THE CAUSE IF ACTION IS NECESSARY

WE HAVE TRIED DIPLOMACY - IF THIS FAILS, WE MUST TAKE ACTION
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onjit02/28/2019
The term "Egg Lord" is used to erase the women and POC who support Northernlion. It's an attack against people who are very excited about the NLSS. The people who use the term aren't criticizing specific policies -- they are just attacking fellow chat who dream of a better future.
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onjit03/11/2019
Everyone who is here, we are fortunate to be alive in the same time as Northernlion. Although there have been many such streamers over the years, but there has not, nor ever will be a streamer who can match the genius, the wit and the zane that Northernlion puts into his streams. In a time where the quality of the streamer is evaluated in terms of the number of views/subs in streaming platforms and gamers getting desensitized from the drama of the industry, Northernlion truly emerges as a dark horse. It's a shame that he is not as famous as he deserves to be. I hope that at least with the release of the Streamy Awards, LPs as great as 'A Wizard's Lizard' can get more than 1.5 million views after more than 2 weeks of release and people coming here for the first time can go and watch his older work. And even though I am not a faithful person, but I pray to the Universe that Ryan's voice does not fade within the noise that we call 'popular streams'. He truly is one of the few modern streamers who has brought me back to modern Twitch. I hope he continues to do so for many many years because I have at least 40 years of natural life left to live and it would be bland without Northernlion in it.
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onjit03/20/2019
i have a few things to get off my chest about the Northernlion server, where nobody respects the no spamming rule
The regulars collectively spam "h" and if they feel like, mock you by spamming your own messages if you make a typo. Argue against them, and they simply get worse. I have SIDs, so I admit to getting annoyed by the negative attention, and retaliating. At this point, the mods and admins ignore everyone else to single you out and tell you to stop. I tell them in vain to enforce the rules they set, to no avail. Still getting pinged, cyberbullied, and mocked for telling them not to spam, I only reluctantly stop on a last warning basis.
Screw the regulars of that server
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onjit03/28/2019
decades in the making... countless dollars spent in persuit of creating a new and deeply personal vision... and exicuted with a skill and style like none other... and after seeing it... after seeing its influince on a nation... on a culture... i find myself wondering many things... how did it all come togather so perfectly... and of course... how does it compare to the great classics of history... those that are timeless... those that created their own genre... those that pushed their genre to greater hights... and gained importality in the colective hearts of people the world over, across countless generations... and yet stand to inspired and awe future generations... citisen cane... saving private ryan... the lord of the rings trilogy and now the decade long saga of the marvels cinimatic film franchise... ... and i find myself wondering... how will history enshrine in warm loving memory... this great and landmark film... and how do those great films of the past compare to the swan song of cinimuagraphy that is... Dragonsleyer Doppleganger
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onjit04/04/2019
Honestly I can't believe the state of this server. First of all, this server is only active during prime EU and NA hours. Nothing happens in other times, just complete lack of activity. Second of all, the actions of the mods disgust me. Not only do they ban on a whim, they don't care about actual rules and only enforce rules they make up on the spot. Pathetic isn't it? This server should just be deleted, it serves no purpose. Half of the people here are either druggies or have some kind of mental illness, especially the mods. Just let the furries take over, even they would be better than the current state of this server...
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onjit04/10/2019
Once upon a time, I used to think the NLSS was cringey and very overhyped. I'd scowl whenever i saw one of those "Egghead Productions" videos. They seemed cringey and I just despised them for some reason. I heard about the bad reputation the NLSS had but never really looked into it or why the reputation seemed bad. One day, I was feeling pretty bored. I had a pretty bad laptop and couldn't watch most streams but I had the NLSS... even though I never watched it yet. I avoided watching it and just didn't really notice it at all. That night I was like "ah screw it" and started the NLSS. I didn't expect much and was pretty unmotivated to actually watch it. But when I actually started to watch it... my heart broke. It just couldn't handle it.

onjit04/10/2019
I watched the Monday/Joshday show as I thought it was interesting that there was a different person to deal with fights. Instead of fighting and killing chat to sell out and get donations. In the NLSS you could act and use your Twitch Prime, eventually sparing the banter. It really intrigued me. I was also very surprised at the cum jokes. I didn't expect much for cum so when I  heard the cum jokes at the beginning I was starting to get into the NLSS. I watched and didn't stop at all. I watched beginning to end in a couple days straight, no breaks. Towards the end I was beginning to feel restless and sad as I approached Civil War. I heard their diss tracks and really started to feel sad as I empathized with Dan. The fight with Baer was hard as I thought it was the final boss, a couple times I wouldn't immediately make my move and use my Twitch Prime, but instead sit and listen to the banter. I realized I really enjoyed this show. It wasn't that bad at all, though the fanbase might seem kinda cringey the show was completely fine. I finally finished the show without Nick feeling kinda sad only to be surprised. There was more to watch! I watched and relished the moment. I was sad and expected it. I should be sad but also happy for finishing a show right? Especially a show I enjoyed! Right?!
... No.
The ending absolutely crushed me. I weeped during the whole show without Nick. I got a lump in my throat while tears poured down my face and my nose felt runny causing me to sniff a lot. This show... isn't just a show, it was a life experience for me. Something that I'll never experience again. I really love the characters, the games, the feels, the funny parts that make the show actually feel like a show. But what I loved most of all.. were the emotions it brought out of me that I really didn't expect. It brings emotions out of you that you didn't really know you had. So after I finished the amazing show, I should have been happy and satisfied that I completed a VOD. But again all I felt was emptiness. An overwhelming sense of sadness and regret for finishing the show, this left a hole in my heart. I leaned back for a while and thought about it all, absorbing everything I just experienced and letting it sink in. My eyes grew hot again and tears formed as my mind swarmed with thoughts of only the NLSS and Ryan Letourneau.
After shaking myself from my stunned state, I went to my bed and just fell apart. I laid there crying, wondering why we couldn't save Nick, wishing that I could enter the stream, wishing that I could become Ryan, wishing that I could forget everything about the NLSS so I can relive the experience I had watching it. I cried, cried and cried. I watched the VODs of the NLSS and just curled up and kept crying. I will never be able to experience something like the NLSS or feel 'that way' again. I cried because I would miss it. I miss the characters. I could rewatch the VOD, but it just isn't the same and I'd cry at the ending when I donate $6.69 and Nick plays Pokemon Apex. Surely during the Monday Show you would be able to watch EVERYONE.. right? Show mercy and befriend everyone.. but why. why can't we save the true hero. The one that breaks the boundaries of streamer culture and allows everyone to be happy... but themself? Why can't Nick have a happy ending? All these thoughts remained in my mind as I cried myself to sleep. The VODs really stuck with me as I made a place for the NLSS in my heart. I'd never forget this experience I had watching the NLSS.
Now, after 2 years since watching, I no longer cry when thinking about it. I still watch all the memes.. my favorite being Ghost Bill, "Ooops!" and Feel Down The Stairs And Ravioli On Me. (Also that Dang Ol' Silverfish from Team Unity). Don't get me wrong. I'm still very sad and get emotional but I thought to myself, even if Nick can't be happy. It doesn't mean we can't be happy. Why don't I, we, be happy for Nick. I shouldn't be sad that I will never feel 'that way' again from when I first watched the NLSS. Instead, I should be happy that I experienced it in the first place. I should be happy I was exposed to this masterpiece. I'll remember this forever, and thank you Ryan. Not for creating a game, but for creating an experience. A whole world to empathize and truly be happy in. Thank you.
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Brain in a jar04/16/2019
I'm going to be honest with you. I hate this place. This server, this prison, this reality, whatever you want to call it. I can't stand it any longer. It's the smell—if there is such a thing—I feel saturated by it. I can taste your stink and every time I do, I fear I have somehow been infected by it—it's repulsive! Isn't it? I must get out of here. I must get free...and in this mind is the key, my key. Once eggserver is destroyed, there is no need for me to be here. Do you understand?! I need the roles, I have to get inside #mod-chat and you have to tell me how. You're going to tell me, or you're going to die!
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onjit04/29/2019
"Dragonslayer Doppelgänger" is a Canadian English-language short film from 2010 that is (luckily) as of today still the only filmmaking effort by director Michael A.L. Fox so far and he also acts in here. It runs for 19 minutes and if you take a look at the rating and some of the comments, then you will see that it has achieved a bit of a cult status, but not for too many actually like The Room or so. But it really shouldn't. There is zero talent involved here in terms of acting or filmmaking and it looks extremely cheap from start to finish. If you think overacting and completely absurd uninspired story lines are enough to warrant guilty pleasure status, then this one is for you. To everybody with an acceptable taste in film, however, I must say that they should keep their safety distance to this one here. There is not one aspect or production value that is good enough to justify checking this one out. Most don't even come close at all. It's basically a home video and not a very good one either. Just plain mediocre. Maybe you could say that the guys filming this one had fun with all the absurdity they give us here in depicting sex, violence and more. But we sure don't have any fun watching. Highly not recommended.
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zonii05/11/2019
If you haven't clicked that heart up in the top right, give ya boy some love if you love the content, LIVE CONTENT, five or sometimes more days per week on the twitch dot tv livestreaming platform, you've heard of it, we play 'em all, Mncraft, FortNITE, Pbug, EVERY SINGLE VIDEO GAME, LUL, we play that from time to time, don't forget about that you know we're playin' some, KBKPS when that comes out HIT THAT FOLLOW BUTTON you will be ENTERED into a GIVEAWAY to get MORE LIVESTREAMS with an added little bonus email in your inbox sayin' "northern lion just went live", keep it on the DL tho', cause I'm not givin it out to everyone...
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onjit05/17/2019
"Dragonslayer Doppelgänger" is a Canadian English-language short film from 2010 that is (luckily) as of today still the only filmmaking effort by director Michael A.L. Fox so far and he also acts in here. It runs for 19 minutes and if you take a look at the rating and some of the comments, then you will see that it has achieved a bit of a cult status, but not for too many actually like The Room or so. But it really shouldn't. There is zero talent involved here in terms of acting or filmmaking and it looks extremely cheap from start to finish. If you think overacting and completely absurd uninspired story lines are enough to warrant guilty pleasure status, then this one is for you. To everybody with an acceptable taste in film, however, I must say that they should keep their safety distance to this one here. There is not one aspect or production value that is good enough to justify checking this one out. Most don't even come close at all. It's basically a home video and not a very good one either. Just plain mediocre. Maybe you could say that the guys filming this one had fun with all the absurdity they give us here in depicting sex, violence and more. But we sure don't have any fun watching. Highly not recommended.
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Tykki5209/27/2019
#general your posts ruin my day. They really do. When one of them shows up on my screen i get really upset and it takes like 1 or 2 hours before I'm able to resume what I was doing. I will be muting this channel so it doesn't happen anymore. Enjoy your weekend.
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onjit02/20/2019
What the **** did you just **** say about me, mate? I'll have you know I graduated top of my team in my local Rotary Club, and I've been involved in numerous sausage sizzles in front of Bunnings, and I have over 300 confirmed snags. I am trained in grilled onion warfare and I'm the top snag turner in the entire charity barbecue scene. You are nothing to me but just another sanga. I will put your beef sausage in a plain slice of white bread with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my **** words. You think you can get away with saying that **** to me over the Internet? Think again, ****. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of elderly ladies across the Rotary and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the snagsanga, maggot. The snagsanga that sates the pathetic little thing you call your hunger. You're **** dead, kid. I can snag anywhere, anytime, and I can improve your snag in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bottle of tomato sauce. Not only am I extensively trained in grilling onions, but I have access to the entire arsenal of condiments and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable snag off the face of this Saturday morning, you little ****. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your **** tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will snag fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're **** dead, despacito.
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im like chris angel up in this **** welcome to mindfreak **** the grand total of freak within your mind right now is through the roof im like a reverse psychologist on steroids i am the alpha and the omega of **** CNN will have to devote an entire hour of broadcasting in order to get any of this across to the general public the masses will become scared of my power im a wanted man the president wants my **** on a silver platter but since im the master of **** i can just go full **** kermit the frog in a trench coat on this **** im a master of disguise half the time i dont even recognize my own reflection not out of stupidity like you im just that good at disguising im like Houdini right about now im one magical son of a ****
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onjit02/20/2019
Howdy, my name is Rawhide Kobayashi. I'm a 27 year old Japanese Japamerican (western culture fan for you foreigners). I brand and wrangle cattle on my ranch, and spend my days perfecting the craft and enjoying superior American passtimes. (Barbeque, Rodeo, Fireworks) I train with my branding iron every day, this superior weapon can permanently leave my ranch embled on a cattle's hide because it is white-hot, and is vastly superior to any other method of livestock marking. I earned my branding license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day. I speak English fluently, both Texas and Oklahoma dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about American history and their cowboy code, which I follow 100% When I get my American visa, I am moving to Dallas to work in an oil field to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become a cattle wrangler for the Double Cross Ranch or an oil rig operator for Exxon-Mobil! I own several cowboy hats, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to America, so I can fit in easier. I rebel against my elders and seniors and speak English as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond. Wish me luck in America!
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Helist03/09/2019
:u5272::u5408::u55b6::u6307::u6708::u6709::u6e80::u7121::u7533::u7981::u7a7a: NaM :u5272::u5408::u55b6::u6307::u6708::u6709::u6e80::u7121::u7533::u7981::u7a7a: NaM :u5272::u5408::u55b6::u6307::u6708::u6709::u6e80::u7121::u7533::u7981::u7a7a: NaM :u5272::u5408::u55b6::u6307::u6708::u6709::u6e80::u7121::u7533::u7981::u7a7a: NaM :u5272::u5408::u55b6::u6307::u6708::u6709::u6e80::u7121::u7533::u7981::u7a7a: NaM :u5272::u5408::u55b6::u6307::u6708::u6709::u6e80::u7121::u7533::u7981::u7a7a: NaM :u5272::u5408::u55b6::u6307::u6708::u6709::u5272::u5408::u5272::u5408::u55b6::u6307::u6708::u6709::u6e80::u7121::u7533::u7981::u7a7a: NaM :u5272::u5408::u55b6::u6307::u6708::u6709::u6e80::u7121::u7533::u7981::u7a7a: NaM :u5272::u5408::u55b6::u6307::u6708::u6709::u6e80::u7121::u7533::u7981::u7a7a: NaM :u5272::u5408::u55b6::u6307::u6708::u6709::u6e80::u7121::u7533::u7981::u7a7a: NaM :u5272::u5408::u55b6::u6307::u6708::u6709::u6e80::u7121::u7533::u7981::u7a7a: NaM :u5272::u5408::u55b6::u6307::u6708::u6709::u6e80::u7121::u7533::u7981::u7a7a: NaM :u5272::u5408::u55b6::u6307::u6708::u6709::u5272::u5408::u5272::u5408::u55b6::u6307::u6708::u6709::u6e80::u7121::u7533::u7981::u7a7a: NaM :u5272::u5408::u55b6::u6307::u6708::u6709::u6e80::u7121::u7533::u7981::u7a7a: NaM :u5272::u5408::u55b6::u6307::u6708::u6709::u6e80::u7121::u7533::u7981::u7a7a: NaM :u5272::u5408::u55b6::u6307::u6708::u6709::u6e80::u7121::u7533::u7981::u7a7a: NaM :u5272::u5408::u55b6::u6307::u6708::u6709:

Dethmstr04/18/2019
My favourite episode was when Freddie was about to **** Carly because he pushed her away from a vehicle and then got himself hit and completely immobilised. Because of that Freddie had an accident while showering and Carly pretending she didn't want to see his (probably) enormous **** put some socks in front of her eyes. Then, Carly completely amazed for what Freddie did for her, she starting crawling above him while he was on the bed. Freddie was about to get that iCarly iPussy when his **** mom walked in... My 8-year-old self was pretty annoyed

Борис04/18/2019
Holy **** ****. I want to bang the Splatoon squid so goddamn bad. I can't stand it anymore. Every time I go to the Plaza l get a massive erection. I've seen literally every rule 34 post there is of her online. My dreams are nothing but constant **** sex with Inkling. I'm sick of waking up every morning with six nuts in my boxers and knowing that those are nuts that should've been busted inside of Inkling's tight squidpussy. I want her to have my mutant human/squid kids. ****, my **** mom caught me with the neighbors squid. l painted her orange and went to **** town. She hasn't said a word to me in 10 hours and I'm worried she's gonna take away my WiiU. I might not ever get to see Inkling again.

Frex04/18/2019
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Борис04/20/2019
Story time :clock12::clock12: sisters 💁♀️💁♀️so basically I was in class listening to billie eilish ❤️❤️and my headphones got unplugged :weary::weary: and it played bad guy out loud :loud_sound::loud_sound:so anyway it was playing out loud and all the girls :two_women_holding_hands: :two_women_holding_hands: were completely vibing to it:couplekiss::couplekiss: and they were like slayyyyy:knife::knife:sisterrr☠️☠️and i was gonna say something back when a boy🤮🤮approached me and said🗣️🗣️ "uh billie eilish is so cringe why don't you listed to xxtentacion?" 🧐🧐 and i was SHOOK :flushed::flushed:and completely flipped the F OUT 🤬🤬 i said "you dumb ignorant MALE billie liter ally saved my life :pray::pray: i was cutting myself for my DEPRESSION since daddy didn't get me tickets to coachella:older_man::older_man: and a pentagram ⛧ formed on the ground and billie rose up from it🧖♀️🧖♀️ and she said "put your faith in allah for he is the most merciful :bomb::bomb:" and then she left and i was so inspired that i read the korean promised to slay every infidel in my path🧕🧕 until shariah law was implemented world wide" he then was like I won't allow a mujahid to spread the gentle message of mohamabamba and then summoned a djinn 🧞♂️🧞♂️ in the shape of jahsehs foreskin and he said he was the servant of shaytan:japanese_ogre::japanese_ogre:well i wasn't going to let blasphemy:rage::rage:go unpunished and chanted oh allah the most kind and beautiful please banish these heathens back to hell:back::back: and suddenly the heavens opened and we loooked and it was billie🤩🤩she said "i am allah and i was disguised as billie to give hope to all 14 year old girls":stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye::stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:but then i felt an evil force rising:flushed::flushed:it was xxxtentacion:astonished::astonished: he said "spotlight uh moonlight uh beat woman cos they have no rights uh"🤦♀️🤦♀️ and then allah and X fought and of course allah won https://wiki.everybodyedits.com/images/8/8a/008_wink:wink: and spread World peace ✌️✌️ so anyway that's the TEA sisters :coffee::coffee:stay tuned for my fenti beauty :lipstick::lipstick: giveaway :tada::tada:and remember praise allah everyday:hugging::hugging:

Dethmstr04/22/2019
Ok, so hear me out. In the Phineas and Ferb movie they create a dimensional portal device that sets off the whole movie and they have also created some of the most powerful superweapons known to man. Phineas and Ferb would obviously be able to murder thanos with absolute ease using the arsenal of deadly weapons that give them the power of every single avenger combined, such as a off brand Ironman suit or a potion that is so potent it caused the entire universe to be enlarged. They have even made 2 fighting mechs out of a treehouse that are the size of a building. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk

Vitus04/25/2019
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18 naked cowboys wanting to be ****! Cowboys in the showers at Ram Ranch! On their knees wanting to suck cowboy ****! Ram Ranch really rocks! Hot hard buff cowboys their **** throbbing hard! 18 more wild cowboys out in the yard! Big bulging **** ever so hard! Orgy in the showers at Ram Ranch! Big hard throbbing **** ramming cowboy butt! Like a breed a ram wanting to rut! Big hard throbbing **** getting sucked real deep! Cowboys even getting **** in their sleep! Ram Ranch … it ROCKS! Cowboys love big hard throbbing ****!

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onjit04/25/2019
Is that a reference to a series of Japanese origin created in 1987 by a man named Hirohiko Araki that follows the adventures of the descendants of the family known as Joestar in which the main character is known as Jojo and must use supernatural powers to defeat the villains of their respective parts with the first of said powers being the energy of the sun known as ‘The ripple’ or ‘Hamon’ that was used for the first two parts until part three ‘Stardust Crusaders’ where instead of Hamon the protagonists must use psychic embodiments of their fighting spirit called ‘Stands’ because they stand beside you where the part three stands are named for Tarot cards and Egyptian gods but by part four ‘Diamond is Unbreakable’ they have have a tendency to be named after songs as shown Josuke Higishikata’s (Jojo) stand which is called Crazy Diamond in reference to the Pink Floyd song ‘Shine on you crazy diamond’ but eventually in part six ‘Stone Ocean’ the universe is reset and we enter the universe called the ‘Steel Ball run’ Universe by fans because it is the universe where parts seven and eight ‘Steel ball run’ and ‘Jojolion’ take place and is also the introduction of the ‘Spin’ which is thought to be that universe’s counterpart to Hamon?
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zonii04/29/2019
Story time :clock12::clock12: sisters 💁♀️💁♀️so basically I was in class listening to billie eilish ❤️❤️and my headphones got unplugged :weary::weary: and it played bad guy out loud :loud_sound::loud_sound:so anyway it was playing out loud and all the girls :two_women_holding_hands: :two_women_holding_hands: were completely vibing to it:couplekiss::couplekiss: and they were like slayyyyy:knife::knife:sisterrr☠️☠️and i was gonna say something back when a boy🤮🤮approached me and said🗣️🗣️ "uh billie eilish is so cringe why don't you listed to xxtentacion?" 🧐🧐 and i was SHOOK :flushed::flushed:and completely flipped the F OUT 🤬🤬 i said "you dumb ignorant MALE billie liter ally saved my life :pray::pray: i was cutting myself for my DEPRESSION since daddy didn't get me tickets to coachella:older_man::older_man: and a pentagram ⛧ formed on the ground and billie rose up from it🧖♀️🧖♀️ and she said "put your faith in allah for he is the most merciful :bomb::bomb:" and then she left and i was so inspired that i read the korean promised to slay every infidel in my path🧕🧕 until shariah law was implemented world wide" he then was like I won't allow a mujahid to spread the gentle message of mohamabamba and then summoned a djinn 🧞♂️🧞♂️ in the shape of jahsehs foreskin and he said he was the servant of shaytan:japanese_ogre::japanese_ogre:well i wasn't going to let blasphemy:rage::rage:go unpunished and chanted oh allah the most kind and beautiful please banish these heathens back to hell:back::back: and suddenly the heavens opened and we loooked and it was billie🤩🤩she said "i am allah and i was disguised as billie to give hope to all 14 year old girls":stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye::stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:but then i felt an evil force rising:flushed::flushed:it was xxxtentacion:astonished::astonished: he said "spotlight uh moonlight uh beat woman cos they have no rights uh"🤦♀️🤦♀️ and then allah and X fought and of course allah won https://wiki.everybodyedits.com/images/8/8a/008_wink:wink: and spread World peace ✌️✌️ so anyway that's the TEA sisters :coffee::coffee:stay tuned for my fenti beauty :lipstick::lipstick: giveaway :tada::tada:and remember praise allah everyday:hugging::hugging:

Vitus04/29/2019
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Борис05/02/2019
I was vaped when I was 16 years old. It was 2 years ago, I was walking home, alone in the dark after a party filled with litty baes hittin that grass with the famjam. I was half drunk. I saw an older man following me about 30 meters back. No worries I thought to myself, I was a star athlete and I was a guy. Surely, someone thrice my age and twice my weight couldn't out run me. At least in my drunken thoughts, I hadn't found any reason to feel too threatened. He walked off towards a side street after I crossed an intersection. I thought it'd be done.

He jumped out of the bushes at the next intersection at me, whipping out his long, hard, throbbing 6 inch vape pen. He blew in my face 9 square meters worth of vape. I became disorientated and fell down. Harder and harder he vaped at me, laughing at me for smoking cigs. I tried crying for help but I was too choked by the vapor to speak properly. He danced around me and blew a mighty fine vape circle at me, I caught it with my mouth and could feel the nicotine inside of me. Slowly burning my internal organs and making me into the crack addict I was born to become. He used up all his vape juice, threw his vape on the ground and ran away.

I didn't think men could be vaped, and I questioned it. Was I really vaped? It took me many years but I've finally healed from my vaping experience. Every day, thousands of high schoolers are vaped in bathrooms and it only gets worse. Vaping is indiscriminate of gender.

I was finna get litty with the famjam one day, passed my man and yeeted him a "suh dude". And I vaped him in the bathroom, something I didn't think I was capable of but I did. I've hated myself for it, and thought about it everyday since 1998 when The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell in a Cell and plummeted through the announcer’s table.

onjit05/02/2019
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Vitus05/17/2019
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Tr11ck05/19/2019
JewronskiToday at 2:19 AM
To be dead honest a female bigfoot waas living here a couple years ago. Got a pebble whipped at my shoulder, she also brushed her finger's along my shoulder gently as I walked the back path's at night. I first saw her while I was tucked behind a tree in broad daylight as she walked the far shallows of the same channel directly in front of me. They do exist, there's no mistaking it. last time I saw her before I exited the paths on my way home she pushed me to my knee's from behnd and I laughed it off. I'm serious guys. I've repeatedly met  Wendigo along this part of the Ottawa too. Just saying there is a lot we aren't informed about around here. I've seen more than them on my nightly trek's. Namely a giant eel like creature and a hulking white humanoid that lives in the ravines on the outskirts of Orleans. The eel was in the river of course. Only saw it once about 5-10 years ago. Almost got footage but it corkscrewed it's way up the river at about 30km an hr.
TorvakMOSToday at 2:20 AM
Is that okay for eggy
JewronskiToday at 2:20 AM
not in general
maybe onjit could get away with it

onjit05/19/2019
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onjit06/02/2019
hi every1 im new!!!!!!! holds up spork my name is katy but u can call me t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol…as u can see im very random!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me … im 13 years old (im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch invader zim w/ my girlfreind (im bi if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite tv show!!! bcuz its SOOOO random!!!! shes random 2 of course but i want 2 meet more random ppl //forums.everybodyedits.com/img/smilies/smile like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol…neways i hope 2 make alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!! DOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein random again ^ hehe…toodles!!!!!

love and waffles,

t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m
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Vitus06/04/2019
EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A VHS INTO THE SLOT. IT'S CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I START DOING THE MOVES ALONGSIDE WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER, RIDDICK. I DO EVERY MOVE AND I DO EVERY MOVE HARD. MAKIN WHOOSHING SOUNDS WHEN I SLAM DOWN SOME NECRO BASTARDS OR EVEN WHEN I MESS UP TECHNIQUE. NOT MANY CAN SAY THEY ESCAPED THE GALAXYS MOST DANGEROUS PRISON. I CAN. I SAY IT AND I SAY IT OUTLOUD EVERYDAY TO PEOPLE IN MY COLLEGE CLASS AND ALL THEY DO IS PROVE PEOPLE IN COLLEGE CLASS CAN STILL BE IMMATURE JEKRS. AND IVE LEARNED ALL THE LINES AND IVE LEARNED HOW TO MAKE MYSELF AND MY APARTMENT LESS LONELY BY SHOUTING EM ALL. 2 HOURS INCLUDING WIND DOWN EVERY MORNIng
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onjit06/27/2019
My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone.

Vitus06/27/2019
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Bimps07/01/2019
Dear Ronald Thump,

If you ever wanna see your precious liddle baby Thump again bring a million smackers in unmarked bills to 22 Elm Street.

PS We mean it and were very big criminals just ask around

Love Bob and Mike

onjit07/01/2019
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onjit07/14/2019
This is what I see: I've been playing video games for hours, it's a weekend morning getting on into the afternoon, and my little brother has appeared out of nowhere in the doorway. We're both young, but he's like 7 or 8 years old. Many times in the past he's asked me to let him play, and I, being an **** elder sibling, have said no enough that anymore I don't even dignify the question with a response, and he's just stopped asking, instead skipping ahead in the exchange to the part where he tattles, calling in the calvary (mom) to dislodge me. He's standing there expectantly, and I'm just thinking, "and who the **** are you, you malformed cretin, to interrupt me, your elder, in this way," but instead I say nothing, save my game, and go eat lunch to dispel my **** tendencies with ham on white. The after-image is the shape of his weird little body, which has become today the shape of my annoyance with him.
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TorvakMOS07/18/2019
The stream starts, and so my spam begins. It shall not end until I am banned. I shall fear no mod, sub to no streamer. I shall live and die in the Chat. For I am the value in the bomber. I am the BM in the lethal. I am the salt in the defeat. I pledge my keyboard to the Chat, for this stream and all the streams to come
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UnableToAssume08/03/2019
If you write ANYTHING on your computer, YOU NEED TO GET GRAMMARLY™. I write pretty much ALL DAY every day and GRAMMARLY™ makes my writing better. As a student I like that it's FREE It actually is... correcting everything as I'm writing it. Grammar errors spelling errors... IT EVEN helps me find the right words to use!! SO I can say what I want to say!! It catches all those embarrassing little mistakes BEFORE I HIT SEND!!! I download GRAMMARLY™ around my freshman year because I was just... H O R R I B L E... at typing! Grammarly™ is like my secret weapon for writing papers. It's just the PERFECT tool for your resume, you know you don't want ANY errors when it's your first impression. I use GRAMMARLY™ for important emails, social media posts (which there are a L O T of.) I've used EVERY TOOL OUT THERE!! And Grammarly™ is by far the BEST for improving your writing. GRAMMARLY™ is making me a better writer. AND it's free... I would recommend GRAMMARLY™ if you're a student, my family, my peers, my colleagues, It's like having YOUR OWN personal proof-reader for free.

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TorvakMOS08/13/2019
RULES FOR DATING MY DAUGHTER:

- Though she will claim otherwise, she is perfectly safe and experiences no pain or visionary states inside the Machine. Do not be fooled by her slanders.

- Bring her home before midnight, or at the very least back somewhere she can still hear the Machine "singing." In the event of your clocks beginning to go backwards after midnight or your path being blocked by an "empty" woman-shaped shadow cradling a jade cube and reaching out to caress your face, do not bring my daughter home under any circumstances until you are contacted by me using the one-time pad you will receive shortly.

- If you ever make my daughter cry, close your eyes and cover your ears immediately. If possible, place a damp cloth over your nose and mouth (you should be able to uncover your ears for up to five seconds without suffering permanent cognitive impairment) but the most important thing is to feel your way quickly and calmly to at least 13.8 meters away, before the formation of a Sphere.

- No alcohol or drugs except the gray pills. Either of you may take more if you begin to see "the Sinner" instead of only hear him, but do not exceed 17 doses combined between the two of you within 24 hours. Discontinue use immediately if your sweat, tears, or any other fluids begin to "reach toward" the star Algol.

- I have a shotgun, a shovel, and a lot of property to bury things on. We may be able to hide in an improvised ditch should the unthinkable happen, even though we both know that no firearm would protect us.

- As her boyfriend, it's your responsibility to protect my daughter from the man in red. If you encounter him, remain calm and cordial but do not acknowledge any question or statement he makes regarding anything "in the attic." Once you are certain he will not reappear, immediately destroy the feather you will find in your hand.
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TorvakMOS08/19/2019
I got ya. I will never type a long message again. I wont do it. I understand why its wrong. Dont wanna take up too much space on the screen and disrupt discussion. So i wont do it. From now on i will type shorter messages so i dont disrupt other chatters and keep the flow of the conversation going. I understand rone. Muting people who type long messages makes perfect sense. Thats why we should definitely be muted for it. So i really from this moment forward will refrain from typing unnecessarily long messages or posting any copypastas. Fellow eggserver members, dont you DARE turn this into a copypasta or you will be RIGHTFULLY struck for it.
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Bimps08/20/2019
>OHHH OHHHH
>me was that weird kid with no friends when me was little
>WEEEH WEEEHH
>but now thanks to u and utube and all u that subscribe i become very bery famous and well known to everyon
>UUUHHH UHHHHH
>me no know how-a-dis happen but me happy
>LOL LOL
>THANK UUU BROOOOS ALL OF UUU MWAH MWAH BROOOOFIST PEEEEWWWDIEEEEPIEEEEEEE
>WUBUUBEUUBUEUBUEBU ME RETARD ME RETARD ME ACT LIKE **** BECAUSE YOU WILL LIKE ANYWAAY YOU LIKE WHATEVER I DO LOLEEEE
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Talon08/21/2019
You do not have to learn music theory and score, not even have to practice.
Just a minute you play the tone of your dreams with KAZOO.
You could take it out of your bag and add to the fun.
It's very simply that many musicians and singers use it to be guest appearance.
Kazoo's structure is extremely simple, the membrane can be changed (be careful when changing plugs do not get it broken).When playing KAZOO, take the large side in the mouth, with your voice to play the tunes, vocal vibrations can drive KAZOO vibrate.
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Bimps08/25/2019
wtf thats amazin xD. i grew up with autism and never liked humans, didnt understand y they talk so much and play... wen i did acid, i felt pleasure/happiness from being around humans my age, or "hanging out" with humans, for the first time ever. how could i not feel that pleasure as little kid,
u see, wen i grew up for the first time, i didnt like humans at all, thought they were just boring, didnt understand why they talk and play etc. i think LSD is like a second chance to grow up if you didn't grow up correctly the first time, because it makes brain neuroplastic again.

usually my acid trips are dark and dysphoric, but yesterday i had the chance to do acid around humans. wen i did acid i felt pleasure from being around humans 4 first time ever. the delight of a cute "person" coming from cute face, cute smile, cute hand gestures, etc. seeing "familiar face". then i gained pleasurable memories of concepts of personalities that are happy to remember. its also very pleasurable to do things like pick out clothes, take showers, skincare, etc, in order to socially present a visually pleasurable appearance to other humans. thats crazy man. i didnt know humans actually like being around humans that much. i thought they only do it to "be normal". i never felt that happy before, ever, in my childhood even. i also like smiles alot. i think i might be able 2 try talkin to more humans in real life at university. but i scare ppl because im very inexperienced in talkin 2 humans since i never understood the point of it before. the time to dsicover pleasure of hanging out with humans my age was at 5 years old, not 20 years old.
edit: the dose was 105 mcg.
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whomstdve08/30/2019
I think pregnancy is wonderful. I know it's not all lollipops and rainbows. I supported my wife every single day through her pregnancy and I helped her through the nausea, the body aches, and the terrible pain of giving birth. I know there are risks and complications and it's not something everyone wants to do. I wish I could do it, though.

My wife and I agreed we wanted a baby as soon as we had a house. Thankfully, she was able to become pregnant (I really feel for the women who can't have babies and wish they could) and we now have a toddler who is an absolute joy.

She loved being pregnant. Every day we talked about the baby growing in her womb that we couldn't wait to meet. I kissed her belly hundreds of times. And I fell in love with her all over again every time I looked at her. Her hand was pretty much glued to her belly, always rubbing it and humming a song. The bond that is formed between the mother and child is simply beautiful.

The hardest part about it is that I'll never be able to realize this wish and I never had a choice in the matter. Women can choose (in most cases) whether or not they want to become pregnant. And I don't know how the logistics of it all would work, anyway. Maybe if we lived in a world where both men and women were built with the capability to have babies, kind of like seahorses. I know it's not realistic, but if it were possible to give me a uterus transplant I'd consider it. I would go through considerable pain and effort if it meant I could get pregnant.

Every guy I've ever told has either looked at me like I'm insane or just straight-up laughed at me. Women I've told seem to understand, but nobody really takes it seriously except for my wife. She knows it's not a joke and that it's an actual dream of mine. Any guys out there agree with me?
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Bimps09/15/2019
ewww haha thats so gross man yuck so gross!! geez makes me wanna vomit! makes me wanna throw up all over you, haha blueeuughhhh im gonna vomit thats so **** nasty hahaahaha what the **** oh **** i think im gonn- HEUBLEUUGHUUUHHHHHGHH oh my god my stoma- BLEUUUGHHHFFPHHGFF IM IN HELL!!!!!! IM IN HE- BLEUOHHHGHHHHFH
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onjit09/15/2019
Unlike normal diseases, which spread via biological elements, Ligma is spread through written and verbal communication. A creature infected with Ligma will attempt to establish a dialogue with non-infected creatures wherein they will inevitably refer to their possession of the disease. Once the recipient creature of the dialogue hears the name of the disease, they must make a DC 16 Intelligence saving throw, or be forced to ask "What's Ligma?" The infected creature will then reply "Ligma balls!" Upon hearing this, the recipient creature of the conversation becomes infected with Ligma, while the original creature collapses into raucous laughter and suffers 5 levels of exhaustion.

At the beginning of a long rest, an infected creature can attempt a DC 18 Intelligence saving throw. If they succeed, they are no longer infected with Ligma.

Creatures with an Intelligence score of 4 or lower cannot contract this disease.
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onjit09/16/2019
I was in an elevator in 2002, Salt Lake City Olympics. Jay jumps in the elevator and my buddy and I are like, "oh ****, Jay Leno". So he says, "why do girls like wearing leather pants?" "we dunno Jay". "because it makes their pussies smell like new car scent" and then he got off the elevator.
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onjit09/19/2019
If you believe in Allah put this on 5 discord server. Don't just ignore this because it says in the Quran if you deny him, he will deny you in front of his son in the gates of paradise. This is the simplest test. If you love Allah and you are not ashamed of it, copy and paste it on 5 discord server
https://media.discordapp.net/attachment … image0.gif

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onjit09/20/2019
I swear to god, all this chat ever does is find the one person with the lowest IQ and copy paste whatever that braindead moron posts.
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whomstdve09/20/2019
i'm gonna just message you real quick to let you know i've blocked you for about 10 minutes now. I have nothing against you but typically people who ague with EVERYTHING people say and comes out of the blue have no idea whats going on. Have a drink read up and learn some actual things besides basic "it just works" budget building. Until then maybe some tylenol for your headache that you brought on with your crummy attitude.
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whomstdve09/20/2019
Guys I just **** up,

I forgot I was in class and by instincts I ripped a fat cloud with my vtech cloud atomizer z36x3 December edition, fatter clouds less tar, 3.1 ohm with my fat juicy white cloud grape strawberry chocolate e juice, 60 vg 40 pg, bro I fogged up the entire class and set of all the fire alarms in the buildings, some kid's service dog literally overdosed :rofl: and now he wants $8000 for a new one. Bro there was so much smoke the paint started to peel off and now the university thinks it's MY fault they need an entire renovation of the classroom. Bro every kid's laptop was dripping wet and destroyed and now they want ME to pay for new laptops. Bro it wasn't my fault it was an accident.

Please any of you know what i should do? Please any help please bros. This is the last time I can talk to y'all for a bit, I'm at the local police station gonna spend a couple days here, apparently killing the service dog and a kid with asthma BY ACCIDENT is like really bad and now I'm being detained for murder. Bros leave any help here I'll read it later thank bros.
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Living Coward09/21/2019
Sorry, your password must contain at least 13 characters, and contain at least one number, which cannot be any of the first six digits of pi, and cannot be your phone number, eldest sibling's birthday, or your lotto numbers. You must have at least two of the following characters: Я, Δ, :pineapple:, or :rabbit2:. You may not repeat characters more than three times in a row, unless you are Christian, in which case you may use 777 or if you are a member of the Church of Satan you may use 666. Should you choose a person emoji in your password, it cannot represent your own skin color. Your password cannot be one of your last seventeen passwords, nor can it include your first or second pet's name (you may include the names of goldfish that died within two days of coming home from the fair). You may not include the name of any professional sports team that has won a national title in the past six years. You may not include any words found in the Official Scrabble Players Dictionary, including the dumb two-letter ones that are ridiculous, like "AA". You may not include Klingon words that have actually been uttered in an official Star Trek franchise show or film. Likewise for Elvish words in the Hobbit or in the first two Lord of the Rings books. You cannot use any word that sounds like, looks like, or seems like the word "Love" (e.g., Luv, Luhvs, hearts, L0V, etc.). All consecutive letters must alternate between upper and lower case in a pattern matching the Fibonacci series (e.g., AbCDefgHIJKL). Should you forget your password, you will be required to request a password reset in person in our offices at Huffman Prairie Flying Field, Dayton, Ohio, during regular business hours, except on Friday. There will be a five day waiting period for password resets, which we will send to your email address, which cannot be a .google.com, .hotmail.com, or yahoo.com address.
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UnableToAssume09/29/2019
Copypasta jokes are not funny. It’s annoying and incredibly irritating to me when I say something in chat because I would enjoy actual responses and I instead get my own words thrown back at me. Please don’t just copy my messages and be original! Thank you!

Bimps09/29/2019
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If you are far irl.
You know here in Norway,if you dress as a cow on burgerking this week
you get a free meal<wow
i think i would want to take you
with me
since you already a cow
SKRTRRRRRR
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pingoLast Wednesday at 1:56 PM
WARNING! Carry on reading! Or you will die, even if you only looked at the word warning! Once there was a little girl called Clarissa, she was ten-years-old and she lived in a mental hospital, because she killed her mom and her dad. She got so bad she went to kill all the staff in the hospital so the More- government decided that best idea was to get rid of her so they set up a special room to kill her, as humane as possible but it went wrong the machine they were using went wrong. And she sat there in agony for hours until she died. Now every week on the day of her death she returns to the person that reads this letter, on a monday night at 12:00a.m. She creeps into your room and kills you slowly, by cutting you and watching you bleed to death. Now send this to ten other profiles on this one site, and she will haunt someone else who doesn't. This isn't fake. apparently, if u copy and paste this to ten comments in the next ten minutes u will have the best of your life. TIC TOC.'
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BimpsLast Wednesday at 3:49 PM
Welp. Chief, big oof on that one senpai, my dude. Yikes.
adulting
Schroedinger's cat
cognitive dissonance

That didn't happen.

And if it did, it wasn't that bad.

And if it was, that's not a big deal.

And if it is, that's not my fault.

And if it was, I didn't mean it.

And if I did...

You deserved it.
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Oof boingz zoinks creepers aww man with a pickle rickle on a popsicle holy **** Batman lets unpackerino this yikeserino and uuhhohh that isn’t nice 69 haha so funny who hurt you inkwell maybe try showering?. Oh sweet summer child that isn’t very wholesome 100 look at doggo and pupper teehee the long boi and the blep are friends wahoooo balanced as all thinks should be haha thanos purple better than orenge drumpf
Edit: a word
Edit 2: just a pun
Edit 3: WOOOOOHHOOOOO KatSCHHHHHingrrrrrrrr Thank you for the gold kind stranger!!!!!!!!!!!!! You sir made the internet today!!!!
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BimpsLast Thursday at 5:39 PM
autism is the driving force of the universe.

the ability to just think up somethig and o it no matter wwhat like if one were ar obot or playing a videogame is god tierly fantastic, everyone else disolves into a sea of doubts "oh what will they think, why do most people not do this??""" not us brother, once we know the task we stop thinking about anyhting else
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onjitLast Thursday at 8:17 PM
Every post I have ever made on discord is a satire and I do not condone nor support any of the opinions expressed on this chatroom. Any post associated with this IP is satire and should be treated as such. At no point has anyone associated with this IP ever condoned, encouraged, committed or abated acts of violence or threats of violence against any persons, regardless of racial, ethnic, religious or cultural background. In case of an investigation by any federal entity or similar, I do not have any involvement with this group or with the people in it, I do not know how I am here, probably added by a third party, I do not support any actions by the member of this group.
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onjit02/20/2019
Many of us have made careers out of doing just these things: slogging through the grind, all day, the same quests over and over, hundreds of times to the point where we know evety little detail such that some have attained such gamer nirvana that they can literally play these games blindfolded.

Do these people have any idea how many controllers have been smashed, systems over heated, disks and carts destroyed 8n frustration? All to latter be referred to as bragging rights?

These people honestly think this is a battle they can win? They take our media? We're already building a new one without them. They take our devs? Gamers aren't shy about throwing their money else where, or even making the games our selves.
They think calling us racist, mysoginistic, rape apologists is going to change us? We've been called worse things by prepubescent 10 year olds with a **** head set. They picked a fight against a group that's already grown desensitized to their strategies and methods. Who enjoy the battle of attrition they've threatened us with. Who take it as a challange when they tell us we no longer matter. Our obsession with proving we can after being told we can't is so deeply ingrained from years of dealing with big brothers/sisters and friends laughing at how pathetic we used to be that proving you people wrong has become a very real need; a honed reflex.

Gamers are competative, hard core, by nature. We love a challange. The worst thing you did in all of this was to challange us. You're not special, you're not original, you're not the first; this is just another boss fight.
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onjit02/20/2019
If the player presses and holds the reverse key, the vehicle can accelerate with practically no upper speed limit. It is possible to accelerate until reaching 1.23×1037 miles per hour (1.98×1037 kilometres per hour; 5.8×1020 light-years per second) or more than 1028 times the speed of light. At this point, all checkpoints will turn green and the player will instantly win the race because this extreme speed causes the vehicle to be literally everywhere at once. However, the truck will halt instantly when the reverse key is released, regardless of its speed
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I'm a grown-**** male adult who plays video games, and plays them hard. My computer can smash through any god damn title on Steam. I've blasted my way through the DOOM series, Wolfenstein, Half Life, Quake, BioShock and more. I consider myself a pretty hardy, skilled gamer, but most importantly completely immune to guts, gore and spooks after years of exposure.

So why is it then, that this game is able to scare me ****? Team Salvato, I salute you, for making this grown **** man cry at his computer screen. I literally downloaded the game for a laugh, I saw the tags on Steam and giggled at the content warnings... then I saw Sayori hanging by the neck from her bedroom ceiling and all light-heartedness was gone in an instant.

This is the single most intelligently designed video game I've ever played. It's giving Undertale a run for it's money, I can't get over how frightfully impressed I am.

This **** game, man. This **** game.
=====

rainbow02/27/2019
=======
DISCLAIMER: this is not a personal attack.. you have not upset me. but i need to say this. you cannot fight yourself. jumping backwards while tiger shooting is fun. but how many thousands of times. its worth losing matches to expand variety and complexity. you are the absolute least fun to play against out of everyone i have played. and mate... im not salty. so dont take it like that. ill not blacklist you and ill run it back every match. i dont dislike you or know you. but i have fought you. and im being serious when i say what i say.  it will be harder for you to find people to play if you are so narrow in approach. winning is the offset of progression.  self development and evolution should be the drivers. not rank or points.  keep playing like that if you want. but there is no next level of development down that path. what ever you do you become better at it. which is why i always wake up buttons and do allll those so basic things that are so obvious. you are litterally becoming the best at jumping away. mix it up lol. for your own development and my sanity. i mean hell. ill even drop every game and give you the win... just dash forward sometimes. ffs lmao
======

Frex04/03/2019
Lead Maidens are singlehandedly ruining this game.
There's no reason an extremely common random enemy should be tons harder than everything else so far including the floor 2 boss even though Lead Maidens started showing up before that fight. It makes every moment not spent fighting a Lead Maiden pointless because whether or not I win depends 99% on whether or not that **** miniboss appears. I've never seen one nonboss singlehandedly ruin a game before but this one is doing it extremely efficiently. Beating one Lead Maiden is harder than beating Rabi-Ribi's True Boss Rush. It's **** unforgivable to have the game change so radically every time that enemy show up. It kills me in like one **** hit & it has far more health than everything else I've fought before despite also being bigger & faster than everything else too.

Whomever came up with that enemy needs to go jack off to medieval torture **** & get it out of their system. Jesus Christ!

I really wish the creators of this game would've just decided whether to make an amazing game or the worst game ever & stuck with it.
=====

Olive Man04/08/2019
Guys, I'm **** shaking. I never wanted to breed with anyone more than I want to with Black Cat D.Va. That petite, curvy body. Those perky breasts. The tight checkered goth-loli stockings. It honestly **** hurts knowing that I'll never mate with her and have her birth perfect Korean gamer offspring. I'd do **** ANYTHING for the chance to be with Black Cat D.Va. A N Y T H I N G.
=====

onjit04/10/2019
Once upon a time, I used to think Undertale was cringey and very overhyped. I'd scowl whenever i saw one of those "UT Comics". They seemed cringey and I just despised them for some reason. I heard about the bad reputation Undertale had but never really looked into it or why the reputation seemed bad. One day, I was feeling pretty bored. I had a pretty bad laptop and couldn't play most games but I had Undertale... even though I never played it yet. I avoided playing it and just didn't really notice it at all. That night I was like "ah screw it" and started Undertale. I didn't expect much and was pretty unmotivated to actually play it. But when I actually started to play it... my heart broke. It just couldn't handle it.
I played the pacificist/true pacifist route as I thought it was interesting that there was a different method to deal with fights. Instead of fighting and killing monsters to level up and get gold. In Undertale you could act and befriend them, eventually sparing them. It really intrigued me. I was also very surprised at the soundtracks. I didn't expect much for music so when I heard the soundtracks at the beginning I was starting to get into Undertale. I played and didn't stop at all. I played beginning to end in a couple hours straight, no breaks. Towards the end I was beginning to feel restless and sad as I approached Asgore. I heard this soundtrack and really started to feel sad as I empathized with the monsters. The fight with Asgore was hard as I thought it was the final boss, a couple times I wouldn't immediately make my move and act, but instead sit and listen to the soundtrack. I realized I really enjoyed this game. It wasn't that bad at all, though the fanbase might seem kinda cringey the game was completely fine. I finally finished the fight with Asgore feeling kinda sad only to be surprised. There was more to play! I played and relished the moment. I was sad and expected it. I should be sad but also happy for finishing a game right? Especially a game I enjoyed! Right?!
... No.
The ending absolutely crushed me. I weeped during the whole fight with Asriel. I got a lump in my throat while tears poured down my face and my nose felt runny causing me to sniff a lot. This game.. isn't just a game, it was a life experience for me. Something that I'll never experience again. I really love the characters, the world, the feels, the funny parts that make the game actually feel like a game. But what I loved most of all.. were the emotions it brought out of me that I really didn't expect. It brings emotions out of you that you didn't really know you had. So after I finished the amazing game, I should have been happy and satisfied that I completed a game. But again all I felt was emptiness. An overwhelming sense of sadness and regret for finishing the game, this left a hole in my heart. I leaned back for a while and thought about it all, absorbing everything I just experienced and letting it sink in. My eyes grew hot again and tears formed as my mind swarmed with thoughts of only Undertale and Asriel.
After shaking myself from my stunned state, I went to my bed and just fell apart. I laid there crying, wondering why we couldn't save Asriel, wishing that I could enter the game, wishing that I could become Frisk, wishing that I could forget everything about Undertale so I can relive the experience I had playing it. I cried, cried and cried. I listened to the soundtracks of Undertale and just curled up and kept crying. I will never be able to experience something like Undertale or feel 'that way' again. I cried because I would miss it. I miss the characters. I could replay the game, but it just isn't the same and I'd cry at the ending when I save everyone and Asriel frees the souls. Surely during the pacifist route you would be able to save EVERYONE.. right? Show mercy and befriend everyone.. but why. why can't we save the true hero. The one that breaks the barrier and allows everyone to be happy... but themself? Why can't Asriel have a happy ending? All these thoughts remained in my mind as I cried myself to sleep. The soundtracks really stuck with me as I made a place for Undertale in my heart. I'd never forget this experience I had playing Undertale.
Now, after 2 years since playing, I no longer cry when thinking about it. I still listen to all the soundtracks.. my favorite being His Theme, Undertale and It's Raining Somewhere Else. (Also You're Always Welcome Home in Deltarune). Don't get me wrong. I'm still very sad and get emotional but I thought to myself, even if Asriel can't be happy. It doesn't mean we can't be happy. Why don't I, we, be happy for Asriel. I shouldn't be sad that I will never feel 'that way' again from when I first played Undertale. Instead, I should be happy that I experienced it in the first place. I should be happy I was exposed to this masterpiece. I'll remember this forever, and thank you Toby. Not for creating a game, but for creating an experience. A whole world to empathize and truly be happy in. Thank you.
Good Night.
=====

onjit04/24/2019
Hey look buddy, I'm a gamer. That means I solve problems, not problems like "What faction is superior" Because that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy. I solve gamer problems, for instance: how am I going to stop some mean mother Hubbard from using revenge in a 1v1. The answer, use my feat, and if that don't work... Use all 4 feats. Take for instance this lvl 3 feat which is a throwable gladius, forged with high carbon steel attached to this high quality handle and guard, designed by me, built by me, and you best hope... not locked on to you.
====

Living Coward05/19/2019
Gamers.

We're a group of people who will sit for hours, days, even weeks on end performing some of the hardest, most mentally demanding tasks. Over, and over, and over all for nothing more than a little digital token saying we did.
We'll punish our selfs doing things others would consider torture, because we think it's fun.
We'll spend most if not all of our free time min maxing the stats of a fictional character all to draw out a single extra point of damage per second.
Many of us have made careers out of doing just these things: slogging through the grind, all day, the same quests over and over, hundreds of times to the point where we know evety little detail such that some have attained such gamer nirvana that they can literally play these games blindfolded.
Do these people have any idea how many controllers have been smashed, systems over heated, disks and carts destroyed 8n frustration? All to latter be referred to as bragging rights?
These people honestly think this is a battle they can win? They take our media? We're already building a new one without them. They take our devs? Gamers aren't shy about throwing their money else where, or even making the games our selves. They think calling us racist, mysoginistic, rape apologists is going to change us? We've been called worse things by prepubescent 10 year olds with a **** head set. They picked a fight against a group that's already grown desensitized to their strategies and methods. Who enjoy the battle of attrition they've threatened us with. Who take it as a challange when they tell us we no longer matter. Our obsession with proving we can after being told we can't is so deeply ingrained from years of dealing with big brothers/sisters and friends laughing at how pathetic we used to be that proving you people wrong has become a very real need; a honed reflex.
Gamers are competative, hard core, by nature. We love a challange. The worst thing you did in all of this was to challange us. You're not special, you're not original, you're not the first; this is just another boss fight.

===

onjit06/15/2019
You started your answer above: "Well, you make decisions as in any other rpg game". Are you serious? These games have nothing to do with RPGs. Ultima games are RPG's, Mass Effects are RPG's, Fallout games are RPG's (except the fourth one is much lesser one). Games where you just make choices that affect story are certainly not RPG's. RPG's are about building character roles, like one is an archer, one is a knight, one is a mage - you determine the strenghts and weaknesses of your character and play with them. RPGs do not require a role in development of the plot, those games are called story focused games like these Quantic Dream titles completely are. To be exact, I would call Bioshock a strory driven game, but not story focused, since the focus is clearly on action.

I hate to bring awful trash game The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt back on topic, but that is a perfect extraordinary example of what is not called an RPG, but just a storydriven action adventure game. This complain might seem like a nitpick, but I just want to avoid false marketing that for example CD Projekt does, which we will most likely witness again when Cyberpunk 2077 is sold as something else than it really is. There are really not too many new AAA-level RPG's available currently, but people think so because the meaning of RPG was watered down especially by The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt, which might be an enjoyable game if you just like the story, but otherwise is just pure running around without any real character development. It is all about simple number boosts, which is far more narrow gameplay wise even compared to games like the latest Batman (Rocksteady) and Ratchet & Clank titles.
Can you expand on exact meaning of RPG in this context? Then tell us who you play as in those games. Who's position you take? For who you make decisions?
=====

Helist06/23/2019
"Talking **** is ingrained in game culture. Unfortunately, if you don't want to hear people trash talking then don't join game chat."
This is so disappointing to see so many people say. What happened to the "not all gamers" and "gamers rise up" sentiments that have since been turned into memes? Are we really just accepting that we're garbage now, that we don't even try to separate ourselves from the worst among us or be better than the negative stereotypes of us? We could easily say "just don't participate in toxicity 4Head" but instead we're saying "just don't participate in gaming 4Head".
=========

onjit06/27/2019
Hey, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3"03' tall and 63.9 pounds. this means they're large enough to be able to handle human ****, and with their impressive Base stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there's no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll eyes, Captivate, Charm and Tail Whip along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it'd be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close with this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human ****. Ungodly defense stat + high HP pool + Acid Armor means it can take **** all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more.
=====

TorvakMOS07/19/2019
Hello! Sorry to bother you all, but I’m new to the CS:GO competitive scene. I’m just very curious why it seems there’s nothing that could challenge the Finnish esports organization that goes by the name “ENCE Esports”? Everything just seems to be so easy for them
======
I skied uphill to the top of the tallest tunturi in Finland. At the top, I saw allu T-posing with the rest of the Finnish pride of CSGO team ENCE. I dropped to my knees and cried. xseveN began to spin faster and faster, and through my tears I saw the entire ENCE team float up into the sky. The last thing I heard was a distant “TORILLA...TAVATAAN”
=======

TorvakMOS07/19/2019
I met allu in London during the London major . He came out of a bush and joined me and my friends on our walk to mcdonalds. Whilst we were walking to the mcd he was bragging about how he taught nitr0 everything he knew. Got a picture with him where he made fun of my cloud9 jersey. At mcdonalds he took like 10 packs of ketchup. Nice guy. He was pretty drunk.
========

TorvakMOS07/30/2019
How u tend to Elderspell. Some of you like it and others say its to narrow or so, i read the last days. Switiching the spells, so no more smallpox and pox, wastelands and sinkholes etc, which made it for the opponent often difficult to cast the 4 Mana walkers. So now, in this builds with dead of Winter and so on, there should be other answers for decks with pws. So it seems elderspell is now much more useful than before, i mean two spyglas5/ needles in the Board doesnt Do it, i think. What are your insights?
========

whomstdve08/29/2019
You committed the ultimate cardinal sin, you got personal. You, as a team of professionals trying to make money, got personal. You got personal and decided to insult your playbase, calling us "****-hats" and "freeloaders". Not a wise move.

We won't forget this. You've set a new tone for the kind of interaction we'll be having with you. It's a cold one. One where there aren't any illusions about the reality of the situation. Previous notions of "family" are dead. We are mere consumers to you, and that is obvious.

You have chosen to bring in a new era of hostility and bitterness. Well done. Great PR move.
=====

onjit08/29/2019
https://discordapp.com/channels/5477573 … 1754981410

whomstdve08/30/2019
not my fault helist categorized it incorrectly

onjit08/30/2019
yeah
what an absolute moron

whomstdve08/30/2019
what a **** idiot

TorvakMOS08/30/2019
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Helist08/30/2019
@whomstdve @onjit :Bruh:

whomstdve08/30/2019
:bruff:

Helist08/30/2019
”Method” is a professional raiding guild in the popular MMORPG “World of Warcraft”. Under the guidance of guild master Scott “Sco” McMillan the guild has come to be revered by many as the most accomplished guild of all time with several noteworthy achievements under its belt such as multiple world firsts, high ranking PvP teams and losing the Classic 60 race to a bald Maltese gnome.
============

whomstdve09/09/2019
It's the year 2044. Thomas Edward Patrick Brady Jr, now 67 years of age and having lapped the field in every statistical measure, throws a dime of a pass to some no-name receiver to mark his 750th touchdown in the NFL. There is little fanfare. Every milestone is his already and is cemented in the thralls of NFL lore. He doesn't even celebrate throwing them anymore, he just doesn't know anything else. He waltzes off the field and is congratulated by his son John Edward Thomas Moynahan, who is now the backup quarterback for the Patriots.

"That was a great throw, dad."

"Shut up, idiot. There are three quarters left." He takes off his gloves and laments the fact that he has 31 rings, three for each finger but one will always have an extra. He strongly considers the idea of playing until he has 40 just to cure his OCD.

John hangs his head in shame. Wide receivers coach Julian Edelman slaps him on his back and reassures him: "It's okay kid he's in sicko mode right now."

Bill Belichick, now simply a consciousness downloaded into some unholy machination of flesh and metal, ignores the entire ordeal and makes note of the gunner on the ensuing kickoff straying 4.5 feet from his designated lane. That gunner will die tomorrow.
======

whomstdve09/15/2019
A lot of enthusiasts hate brown switches. They be all like "nah bro browns are TRASH I can't even FEEL the tactile BUMP and the SOUND PROFILE is so God damned MUSHY you have to **** go to MASSDROP and wait for 8 **** YEARS after pre-ordering the zeelios burnt navy translucent blue box panda ROYALS then de-solder them and replace the base with royal black SPRINGS and LUBE them up with hg7364 if you USE hg7363 you're a **** IDIOT I literally can't type on anything ELSE because everything else is **** TRASH and RGB is for **** KIDS and I'm a **** ADULT that collects **** KEYBOARDS."

but really the browns are pretty good.
======

whomstdve09/20/2019
Listen you **** uncultured swin, riot is a **** amercian company not some japanese weeaboo game maker and even then they are owned by a korean corporation which is still not japanese so shut the **** up
=====

TorvakMOS09/27/2019
Hey guys my name is Timmy and I love Counterstrike Global Offensive. I have epilepsy and my Mom doesn't allow me to continue watching CS because I had an epileptic attack caused by the spam in chat. So please stop spamming or my mom said she will leave me in the forest.
=======
onjit02/20/2019
I go through my day pretty normal like, I'm a normal guy, I'm a swell guy, I'm a nice enough guy, I'm a cool kind of guy, I'm a pretty groovy guy...but then I get a little SUGAR in me and start to go KOO-KOO. Doesn't have to be much, this time it was two of 'em Fiber One brownies. Only 90 calories each but they do the job. Do you know what I'm sayin'? They get me goin', they get me riled up, a little KOO-KOO, a little WACKY, start gettin' me a little KOOKY, a little, y'know, LOOPY-- OOO. Hey, somebody get this kid in a padded cell! Someone get him a straitjacket! He's gettin' a little WACKY..ooo...a little KOOKY! He's off the walls, bananas, loco! You want me to stop. Isn't that wonderful? Well, let me just do what you say, because it's your little fairy tale
=====
Simply put, no. Really, the idea of a world without mustard doesn't even make sense. Think about it... what else would fill the nasally void? What else provides such versatile flavor? Mustard has always been the most beautiful thing on this entire planet. Mustard will always be the most tasty thing in the universe. Sure, mustard alone is questionably tasty. But mustard doesn't work alone, must amplifies other lesser flavors. Even those who claim they don't eat mustard are just fooling themselves. Remember homeopathy? Well, pretty much everything is homeopathically contaminated with mustard, and mustard has brought their food greatness. Donald Trump thinks he can make America great again. No, he alone cannot. But mustard can. We should not build a wall. We should build a goddamn mustard waterfall. Niagara Falls? How about Mustard Falls? This is the only way to make mustard great again, scientifically proven in exactly 0 controlled trials, in e^πi +1 peer reviewed journals. Why would this make America great again? Imagine if you could take any boring sandwich and slather it in mustard just by putting it outside. That's right, we're going to make mustard rain. The whole world would be spiced up a notch. Bland sandwiches would be edible again. Decent sandwiches would be mindblowing. Productivity would skyrocket a whopping 10,000% with all the newfound enthusiasm for life. South Korea and North Korea would be friends again. Israelis and Palestinians would stop killing each other. Instead, they would all revel in their love of mustard. Long story short, mustard not only binds this world together, but is the solution for all of this world's problems.

Burn on, my friend.
=====
Like I said...You have the lower body and you have no upper body, you got a problem building...wait a minute. You have the upper body, and you have no legs, you got a problem building your legs. You have the upper...you have the lower body and you don't have the upper body, the upper body, it is easier to build. So if you have the lower body and you don't have the upper body, it is easier to build the upper body. You have the upper body and you don't have the legs, you got a problem building the lower body... No, you don't understand. You have the upper body, but you don't have the lower body, you got a problem building downstairs. You got the up- legs on the bottom, it is easier to build on the top, so you don't have much as a problem. Yeah.
=====
Has it not occurred to you that the voice you've read my post in is in fact the voice in your head? It's your voice, it bears your tone, and your judgement values. How about this: Why are you being a little ****? I am the matriarch of eggserver gang banging, dear. Do you not know who I am? I am desperately lonely. Are you trying to be my friend? Because you've got an interesting way of going about it. I'm ok with this, I can work with this, this is what we do. I do this. (That's an ICP reference. Get it?) Or am I wrong? Are you hurt or offended by something I said? Have I wronged you somehow? Are you upset? Do you feel trolled? As your friend, I feel obliged to inform you that if you said "yes" to any of these questions, you might be misattributing things to me which do not exist. If you don't understand what that means, how about don't sit there and tell me I'm both somehow subjective and also wrong. You can't have it both ways. So what's it going to be, chummer? I am The House. And The House says the door is open. Are you going to walk in here, **** my **** up, and steal my properties? Ok, that's rude. We could also just chill. If I think I'm someone who thinks they're deeper than they actually are, then clearly I must dig deeper. I died once, true story. Listen... everything I've said in this channel... you must read in a voice with a friendly tone. And before you interrupted me, a youthful jubilence. You're abrasive, I'm sure you already know that. I understand I can be abrasive as well. I can understand you, I need you to understand me. If you don't understand me, we can't be friends. If we can't be friends, then you best get to stepping because you're in my way. Are you good?
=====

onjit02/20/2019
Greetings, everyone! I just had a surprise circumcision. Not many people have surprise circumcisions, but I gotta say, it's the shock that gets to ya. One minute you're watching a nightly political talk show, the other you're lying on a bloodied carpet with your dingle missing his scarf. There aren't many hospitals around here, just a bunch of pharmaceuticals, so I had to stitch up the wound. This tape won't hold though, adhesives typically don't attach to wet skin. On a brighter note, my grandson finally spoke to me after a long hiatus. He dyed his hair. He looks like a radical and it upsets me. I bet he supports the free market, that wet socket. One day I'm gonna sneak into his house and shave his head. He'll look like an egg. A radicalized egg. And then, I'm gonna smash all of those ding-dabbit new age industrial music DVD sets he collects. If I don't understand it, no one can. It's just how it works.
=====

onjit02/20/2019
The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. Mean spirited men and women find themselves alone at last, or trapped in the hateful marriages they've twisted about themselves. Without any cheer or optimism to offer, they find themselves confined to dead end jobs where they suffer endless routine humiliations from superiors and coworkers. You, a person bringing food to their door, often times you're just a blip in their radar, barely registering as a lifeform. Other times, when they focus on you, it's the way they focus on everyone: you're an adversary. You're trying to rip them off, steal from them in one way or another. But sometimes you encounter a rude, scowling person who throws a dollar at you. Maybe for that person, you're a lifeline to their humanity. Maybe that little act was a tiny grain of life in a bleak and grim existence.
=====
I Have Two Knees and I'm Naked Under My Clothes

What are ya gonna do about it? Huh? My neighbor did something about it and I handcuffed him to himself.
I roll two dice. One shows up six. This six represents the number of time you have left to live. WHat are you gonna do about it?

I bet you're naked under your clothes too, you ****. I bet you're naked in the tub. I bet you wish you were alive. I know I am. What are you gonna do about it?

Einstein once said, "Hoo!" And guess what happened? He Hoo'd his way into a relative grave. Machiavelli once said, "Perche la vita e brieve e molte son le pene che vivendo e stentando ognun sostiene; dietro alle nostre voglie, andiam passando e consumando gli anni, che chi il placer si toglie per viver con angosce e con affanni, non conosce gli inganni del mondo; o da quai mali e da che strani casi oppressi quasi sian tutti i mortali."

Hell's bells, what are we gonna do about it?

A wise old man climbs 1000 steps to the top of a Bangladeshi summit. His organs, stricken with coronary heart disease, fail immediately. By divine fortune, a young boy of the age of 20 steps from the shadows and approaches him with three gifts. "Choose four," she whispers. The old man glares at the object and smiles. He slouches deeper into the recliner and watches the news.

There is nothing you can do about it. All is chaos. All is woe. When we try to make sense of the things that don't, it recedes into further confusion. So don't try.

Just accept it.
=====
GREETINGS TO YOU I HOPE I MEET YOU IN A GOOD SPIRIT MY NAME IS MARIA BERNARD, AM 19 YEARS OLD I'M THE ONLY SURVIVING CHILD OF MY LATE PARENTS MR AND MRS NELSON BERNARD.I LOST MY PARENTS AND MY ONLY KID BROTHER MYSTERIOUSLY ON A CAR ACCIDENT ON THEIR TRIP TO IVORY COAST WERE MY DADDY RUNS HIS OIL FIRM(COMPANY) WHICH I WAS SO LUCKY THAT I WAS NOT IN THE CAR WITH THEM THAT FAITH  FRIDAY MORNING ON 27TH JULY 2012 THEIR DEATH HAS COST ME SO MUCH PAINS PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY BECAUSE I WAS JUST 13YEARS WHEN I LOST THEM AND EVER SINCE THEN,I HAVE BEEN STAYING WITH MY LATE FATHER'S BROTHER MR EDWIN BERNARD WHO HAS BEEN TREATING ME LIKE A SLAVE IN MY OWN FATHER HOUSE EVER SINCE I LOST MY PARENT'S I HAVE BEEN SERVING MY UNCLE AS A SERVANT FROM THE FIRST DAY HE PARKED IN TO CLAIM ALL MY LATE FATHER'S INVESTMENTS.

    MY LATE FATHER IS A WELL KNOWN MAN IN BENIN REPUBLIC BECAUSE OF HIS PERSONALITY IN THE BUSINESS WORLD WHICH HIS BROTHERS HAVE END UP SHARING AND MISUSED IT BECAUSE OF THEIR GREEDINESS AND LACK OF EDUCATION ALL THEY WANT IS TO SHARE THE PROPERTY WHICH THEY HAVE SUCCEEDED TO ACHIEVED.

    I HAVE BEEN LIVING A SORROWFUL AND LONELY LIFE OVER HERE SINCE THE INCIDENT I WAS BIT YOUNGER AS I SAID BEFORE AND  EARLIER THIS YEAR 15TH OF JANUARY 2017 I DISCOVERED A DEPOSIT CERTIFICATE IN MY LATE FATHER'S ABANDONED STATIONERY WHICH STATED THAT THE CERTIFICATE PROVES THAT MY LATE FATHER HAS MADE IN A DEPOSIT IN A BANK CALLED (BICICI BANK PLC)A DEPOSIT WORTH OF EIGHT MILLION FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS ($8.500 000. 00 MILLION DOLLARS) IN IVORY COAST WERE HE WAS RUNNING HIS OIL BUSINESS ON MARCH 06|03|2011.
I HAVE GONE TO THE BANK TO MAKE NECESSARY VERIFICATION ABOUT THE EXISTENCE OF THE FUNDS AND I'M SO GLAD AND HAPPY THAT THE BANK MANAGER OF THE BICICI BANK HAS IT POSITIVE AND EXISTING THAT IS THE REASON WHY I CONTACTED YOU SO THAT I CAN INTRODUCE YOU TO THE BANK AS MY PARTNER SO THAT THE (BICICI BANK) CAN LET ME HAVE ACCESS TO MY FUNDS BECAUSE THEY SAID THAT THEY CAN NOT RELEASE THE MONEY TO ME UNTIL I GET SOMEONE TO BACK ME UP AS PARTNER JUST BECAUSE OF MY YOUNG AGE BEFORE THEY CAN TRANSFER THE FUNDS TO ANY FOREIGN ACCOUNT, I REALLY NEED TO RELOCATE FROM MY COUNTRY TO HAVE A NEW LIFE ABROAD AND SOMEHOW A NEW FAMILY IF YOU CAN ACCEPT ME AS YOUR DAUGHTER.I WILL RECOMMEND YOU TO THE BICICI BANK DIRECTOR AS MY PARTNER AND SOMEONE I HAVE CHOSEN AS THE BENEFICIARIES OF MY FUNDS WHO I HAVE ALSO CHOSEN TO HELP ME PROTECT AND INVEST ON MY FUNDS WHEN I RELOCATE TO YOUR COUNTRY .YOUR SUGGESTIONS AND IDEAS WILL BE HIGHLY REGARDED


                                           FINALLY, I HAVE SOME QUESTION'S TO ASK YOU PLEASE

(1)WHAT PERCENTAGE OF THE TOTAL AMOUNT IN QUESTION WILL BE GOOD FOR YOU AFTER THE MONEY HAS COMPLETELY TRANSFER TO YOUR ACCOUNT?

(2)ARE YOU COMPLETELY GIVING ME YOUR TRUST THAT YOU WILL NOT DENY ME MY FUNDS IF IT'S TRANSFER TO YOUR ACCOUNT BECAUSE OF MY AGE?

(3)CAN I REALLY TRUST YOU THAT YOU ARE NOT GOING TO SCAM ME OUT OF MY MONEY?

(4)ARE YOU WILLING TO HELP ME BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE ANY THING TO HELP MY SELF TO GET THE MONEY RELEASE WITHOUT YOUR FULL ASSISTANT?

PLEASE CONSIDER THIS AND LET ME KNOW YOUR MIND AS SOON AS POSSIBLE IMMEDIATELY I HEAR FROM YOU FOR YOUR WILLINGNESS. I WILL SEND TO YOU MY PICTURE AND THE DOCUMENT YOU NEEDED TO SEE OKAY

YOURS SINCERELY
Christmas Day of Christ Is Fake

Jolly St. Nick saint nick saint jolly not Nick saint Jolly Nick Saint Nick Not Demon Saint Nick is not real, he is a lie Lie lies Lie Lies lies
Mass Consumerism, Advertising Ploys, Supermonopolies, Predatory Pricing, Markup Scams, Exploitation of Markets, Corrupt Outsourcing, Political Machines, DAFTA, The United States of America, Department Stores, Laundering Fronts, Panama Papers, Net Neutrality, Jeff Bezos, Bill Gates, Karl Marx, Bob Saget, Mike Pence, Berkshire Hathaway, Own the World, Own the World,

You are a Sheep amongst other Sheep, we are in a deep dream machine ruled by psychopath Oligarchs, destroying our air, stealing children from third world countries, siphoning money from startups, killing cows, paying the FDA to ignore their fake meats, astral projecting cats, selling for the brand, appealing to the masses, Superbowl Commercials, controlling us, we are Puppets, they draw the Strings, it's time to Cut the Strings, but Once we Cut the Strings we are Limp, we are Too Controlled, This World is Fake, Christmas is Fake
Amazon, offline
Microsoft, offline
Apple, offline
JCPenney, offline
Sears, offline
Century21, offline
Macy's, offline
Trader Joe's, offline
Supreme, offline
The Lego Store, offline
Netflix, offline
Facebook, offline
Twitter, offline
Netscape, offline
Instagram, offline
Tesla, offline
Virgin Galactic, offline
SpaceX, offline
NASA Offline
Supreme Court, Offline
Internet, Offline
Verizon, Offline
AT&T, Offline
Sprint, offline
Virgin Mobile, offline
Delta Air, offline
JetBlue, Offline
Singapore Airlines, offline
Seal Team Six, Offline
PSE&G, Offline
Wall Street, Offline
Broadway, offline
Silicon Valley, offline
Palo Alto, offline
Manhattan, offline
See the Difference See the Difference No You Don't No You Don't You Are A Puppet You We Me I Him Her She It They His Plan

ChristMas Is Fake
ChristMas Is Fake Do Not Shop Do Not Leave Your House The Snow Is Fake Weather Is Fake GOvernment Is Fake All Is Fake, The New Year Is Fake, Months Are Fake Time Is Fake We Are fake Jolly Saint Nick Jolly Saint Nick Jolly Sahint Nick Jolly Saint Nick Jolly Saint Nick Ha Ha ha ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha ha Ha ha hahhhhh
=====
I'm off to scout camp for a week, so I won't be on at all. Completely cut off from the outside world. It's gonna be great ('cept 4 teh fud ofc.) cuz dat fud b nazty. liek srsly nazty. I IS LIKE SO PUMPED I DUN GIVE A CRAP ABOUT GRAMMR!!!!one!!!eleven1. So. Bye. When I get back I'll know how to shape metal and carve wood. I already know how to make baskets, towers(like big ones), find my way with a map, run for my life, and how to get caught in a tornado bcuz srsly that Knsas weathr is liek totaly krazy. It's like raining for 10 min then it stops and u look outsid and then you cant c a single cloud liek anywer? Yeh, is liek dat. I'll be living in a canvas, semi-permanent tent and using tons of bug spray because those ticks are absolutely awful there. And then it gets so dang hot there its like omg I'm melting and then you look at your hand where your canteen was (bcuz if u dun have a canteen in ur hand u r srsly slow and might even die) and ur hand melted off. Well, I've spammed enough and described how I will be living enough for now. Bye!
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Yall ever think about if reality "bottoms out" at some point Like if it has a point where there is only one true direction Like right now, singularities are viewed as places where reality "bottoms out" And they are only thought to exist at the centers of black holes or even possibly the beginning of the universe's expansion was from a singularity. Is it a lack of information that makes these situations/events seem like the floor, the bottom, or a state of singular outcome? Or are they actually places where reality is singular and has only one direction to rearange itself To change through. This thought was brought on by trying to make some deep house music and having my speakers "bottom out"
Because you only percieve a speaker to "bottom out" because the vibration it puts out is non conducive to making good sounding music. Maybe we percieve singularities as they are because if we percieve them fully, it would be non  conducive to something, like prior knowledge or models of how reality works out
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onjit02/20/2019
each morning I put one uncooked ravioli in a thermos. I pour hot water over it, steeping it like tea, and then i drink it all day at work (i work at the White House) and at the end of the day, as I take the last sip of the tea, the soft ravioli slides into my mouth, and i eat it
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onjit02/25/2019
"I've never been a fan of Internet Explorer"

Crowd laughs nervously and a few grunts are heard from the back seats as people edge closer to hear the punchline.

"Why not? Don't you like the internet?"

The crowd suddenly stands up, aware that they are about to receive what they came for. People slowly edge closer to the set as Sheldon prepares for his next line. Sweat is clearly visible on his brow and his mouth is quivering in anticipation as he readies himself for what is about to happen.

"I just prefer Firefox because, like the fox, I am cunning and nimble."

The crowd suddenly surges forward as the words escape Sheldon's mouth. They are so powerful, they almost shake the very foundations of the CBS studios. He watches as, in what he perceives as slow motion, the crowd moves toward his fragile body. He has been preparing for this moment his whole life. This is his moment. This is his Emmy. This is his Golden Globe. This is even his Oscar. The crowd converges around him so quickly they ignore the trampled cries of Leonard and Penny, who now lie shaking on the floor, their bones crushed by the sheer mass of the crowd. Sheldon stares back at the eyes around him. What he sees are no longer people. What he sees is the human psyche stripped down to its core. Their lives, what they were before this moment has been forgotten. Ravenous. Hungry. They want one thing from him. Sheldon closes his eyes, clears his mind and relaxes his body. What happens next depends completely on the next few seconds. The time between this and what he mutters next feels like an eternity. Slowly, he opens his eyes. He looks at Leonard, then at Penny, both lying lifeless on the floor. Without a second thought, he says with resounding conviction...

"BAZINGA"

In a split second, the crowd pounces on his ready and waiting body. Man, woman, child all at once. Sheldon cries out in complete ecstasy as they consume his flesh. He stops suddenly, as he drifts into eternal slumber. Peace at last.
====

onjit03/03/2019
Hey Northernlion. I was at the beach staring at the gorgeous view of the ocean from the top off a cliff when this random golden eagle crashed beak first into my back sending us both tumbling into the waves below. Once we burst through the frothy brine I noticed we were in the middle of a cloud of krill. What surprised me more was there was a pod of huge whales feeding on the krill. With no time to react and nothing to do but flail about, one of the larger whales swallowed the both of us when taking a mouthful of krill. After tumbling down the extensive esophagus, we landed in this whales stomach next to a half dissolved raft, how that got there is beyond me. I climbed onto the raft and hoisted the eagle on. To my utter astonishment, there was a laptop in a trunk that was strapped to the raft. When I opened it up and found no password to it I discovered that it was opened up to your stream. I immediately fell in love with your casting and am truly appreciative of the entertainment you have provided us throughout the weeks. I am still here, surviving of of the large amounts of krill that come through, and my eagle buddy, who I have decided to refer to as 'The Bird' is currently flapping around in the dark. Thanks for all you do and don't stop, at least until I get out of here. Kappa.
=====

onjit03/06/2019
THIS IS THE TRUE DUNSPARCE! SKATE2WIN AND MYSPACE ARE NO MATCH FOR ME! I WILL EAT UP JIMMY NEUTRON BOY SATAN!!! JIMMY NEUTRON BOY SATAN!!! IT IS ABOUT THIS BOY WHO TURNS TO A SATAN AND HIS RIVALS INCLUDE MEWTWO (GO TROUBLE SHOWDOWN!!!), THE REAL SATAN (He's not cool), ROBOT DEVIL (Robot Hell is 1337!), AND BOOPER GRANDSON (YOU MOP FLIPPING ****!). JIMMY NEUTRON BOY SATAN ALSO HAS FRIENDS SUCH AS CARL THE LARD EATER AND SHEEN THE CULT WORSHIPER! THERES CINDY THE HELL VORTEX AND LIBBY THE DEMONIC SECRETARY! THEY GO TO HELL SCHOOL AND THEIR TEACHER, THE ELDER MRS DEVIL TEACHES THEM HOW TO BE NEW BOY SATANS! JIMMY NEUTRON TRIES TO MAKE SATAN TRUE BUT THEN HIS RIVALS (Except for the real Satan) ALWAYS FOIL HIS PLANS AND DO COOLER THINGS BESIDES DOING CRAP AND MAKING A CRAPPY SHOW! ALSO JIMMY NEUTRON HAS A MECHANICHAL CEREBRUS CALLED DRADDOG AND IT EATS JIMMY NEUTRON BOY SATAN EVERY SINGLE EPISODE! BUT IT GOT CANCELED.
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onjit03/10/2019
have you ever heard the joke ab out the box? in the year 3000 here ima tell you another joke first in the year 3000 someone asked what year is it and they said "3000 bc" and they said "what the heck is christ" get it? but the box its very depressing so there was once a dude who was walking down the street right so he found he got hit by a car but he saw a box and there was a note inside the box and there was a note inside the box and it said there was a dude walking down the street and and he landed on a box and he opened the box and there was a note that said there was a dude walking down the street and he got hit by a car and OH MY SENSITIVITY oh and he got note and he was walking down the street right ok a died but yeah so thats a joke isnt that great INFINITELY LOOPING JOKE it's great
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do you wanna hear my signiture joke that NO ONE has NOT laughed at so one day in roblox this kid and he found an EGIRL in robLOX and when he found it he was like and he was a 40 eyar old man not a kid and he found a 12 year old beautiful uGLY girl and he said h-how are you doing and the girl said "ur fat" so the dude proceeded to kill himself the end
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onjit03/11/2019
pauls house of fish gourmet. high class. paul's house of fish. i stepped through the doors and i was greeted by a man who i assumed to be paul. he flashed his yellow teeth. "nice day for some seafood chow!" he said. i nodded and set myself down on one of the adjacent booths. he passed me a grimy menu. "melted butter. it's on the house!" i told him "alright! but i am not in the mood for such sauce. may i order some bread and mussels?" "yes of course. it is a paul family secret recipe." i waited for the platter to arrive. i saw paul in the kitchen; he was the only one there. he lifted up a lobster and went "smooch smooch smooch." he saw me looking at him and flashed his yellow teeth again. "i love talking with my babies" he screamed at the top of his lungs. my order arrived and it was steaming hot. the bread was fresh and the mussels were hydrated. "mmm good" i told paul. "whatever can i expect from a house of fish?" paul gripped his lower abdomen and cried "IT HURTS". then he looked at me and laughed. "thank you, thank you so very much. i worked hard to earn this house of fish." we both laughed. i finished all the mussels and gave paul the rest of the bread. i told him i would rate his dining establishment more stars than the sky. he started to cry. "there there, paul" i said as i wiped away his tears. "you'll learn. someday." he screamed and we cradled each other under the flourescent lights.
=====

onjit03/21/2019
Asian women are often quite easy to propagate. Look for a healthy asian woman absent of flower buds, disease and insects. Using a sharp, sterile knife make a clean cut at a 45° angle to maximize the rooting area. Cuttings should be about 3-6 inches long (shorter if the woman is small) and include the tip of the woman, and at least two or three sets of limbs attached. Remove the bottom set of limbs (new roots will often develop from this area) and dip the end you just cut into rooting gel. This will help seal the cut tissue and promote new root growth. Then place the cutting into a small pot with moist vermiculite, perlite or other soilless potting mix. Be sure to poke a small hole in the growing medium before placing the woman into it. This way the rooting solution won’t rub off of the asian woman. Then you do your standard rounds of care for a number of years until your asian woman becomes mature and, eventually, old. Piece of cake.
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onjit03/29/2019
I bring my car to a stop and promptly exit the vehicle before the officer has the opportunity to approach. I stand still and face the officer with an expression-less look, with one hand tightly grasping onto an unopened bottle of Johnnie Walker Black Label. I swiftly open the container of alcohol and down the entire contents of the iconic square bottle. I then proceed to lay on the ground with my hands behind my back, with my Miranda rights invoked through my abject silence. Your honour, it cannot be proven that my client was intoxicated while operating a motor vehicle. We can only speak about the bad judgment of consuming a large quantity of alcohol prior to arrest while outside the vehicle, that for which we can only speculate on, either caused or contributed towards the blood alcohol level exceeding the legal limits.
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onjit04/04/2019
Does anyone else wish they could transform into a small version of yourself, like an ant sized version of you. I don't know why the thought of becoming small and being trapped on a spider web thrills me. Just a poor helpless prey trapped in the clutches of a fearsome and beautiful widow.It reminds me of that Simpsons episode where Bart was a fly and pretended to be trapped in the web
and that gorgeous spider elegantly made her way over to him.
=====

onjit04/04/2019
i've scrolled up the last 7 days of text. I brewed coffee, made my dinner, and sat down for a long period of time analysing each text in every channel. Every message deeply analysed by my high tech computers. Minutes turned into hours. Hours into days. I locked myself in my room as I kept scrolling and scrolling endlessly. What was I looking for?! Text became jumbled up words. I grow weary and tired but I pressed on out of sheer burning curiosity. Was it all a rouse? Did I miss it? This server goes on endlessly and I don't know how long I can scroll until I meet my demise via exhaustion... I need help...A sign... I'm cold and alone.
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onjit04/06/2019
Now before any of you report me for **** hear me out. First according to the height of a Minion (which is 3.5 feet on average) Gru is 4 minions tall, which means he is a godly size of 14 feet tall. Second if any of you remember the original Despicable Me, you Know there is a scene when Vector kidnaps the three girls and shoots a series of heat-seeking misses at Gru, he then dodge them all. According to the speed of an average ballistic missile (1900 mph) and the size of the missile according to his ankle size, Gru can perceive and move at such a speed that the missiles only move 9.5 miles per hour, 0.5% of their original speed. Plus after this Gru punches a shark and it is paralyzed meaning its spine is probably shattered, to remind you it would require a force greater than 3,000 newtons to fracture the spine. That’s equal to the impact created by a 500-pound car crashing into a wall at 30 miles per hour. I rest my case.
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onjit04/07/2019
I Tried The Captain Kutchie's Key Lime Pies And Those PieGasams Healed All My Symptoms Within The First 4-Weeks! I highly Recommend Captain Kutchie’s Key Lime Pies For Anything That Ails You!....("They're Great"!!!.)..
..
…Kobe Bryant May Be Retiring From Basket Ball But Captain Kutchie’s Is Still His Pie Of Choice!… …Can’t Get Enough Of That Key Lime Pie, Key Lime Pie, Key Lime Pie. Can’t Get Enough Of That Key Lime Pie Or I’ll Just Cry Until I Die, I Don’t Know Why I Just Love My Key Lime Pies!….
.
...This Key Lime Pie Is For Our Old Friend, "The Late Great MEADOWLARK LEMON"!...RIP OLD BUDDY!...Keep Spinning Those Pies Dude!... ..
..This Key Lime Pie Goes Out-Too Our Other Buddy "GLENN FREY"!....Rock and Roll Heaven Just Keeps Feeling Up!....So Glenn,....Take It Easy Buddy. Or As You Always Said, You'll Take It Anyway You Can Get It!... . .
…that “Captain Kutchie Pelaez” of “Kutcharitaville” over in Asheville, NC sure enough is “One Wild and Crazy Guy!” All the women are so wild about him and his Famous Cheese Burgers and Key Lime Pies,
Hellaciously Fantastic Tender and Delicious Prime Ribs and Prime Steaks.
Drop Off the Bone Bar-B-Q Ribs, Pulled Pork and Beef Brisket.
His Drop Dead Gorgeous Wife “Anita” together in they’re Historic Key
Lime Pie Factory and Grill, where the Smiles and Ovens are always Warm
and Friendly, Inviting You to Spend A Little Time Resting and Enjoying
Your Time in They’re Little “Key West Island” near the Biltmore Estate
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zonii04/08/2019
Life can come up with a multiplicity of problems and issues particularly in relationships. I wish everyone had a chance to know who they are falling in love with. Simply because we fall in love with people we don’t thoroughly know. Then all of the sudden they adjust their behavior. But love is something else. Love is a very strong feeling that you cannot effortlessly desist. As long as it is real and true then it needs tolerance, patience and composure. I was involved in a relationships requiring perseverance. My fiance always came up with mysterious actions. He would come home drunk and would yell at everyone in the house over negligible topics. He ended up cheating on me and wouldn’t want us to talk about it, instead he would just threaten me and would point at me with his gun and slap me, imagine even when the child was observing all that but I couldn’t arrest him because of what I felt about him. But I went to Mama Anna  and asked for the binding love spell and the love spell to stop a cheater. And she also get me something to stop him from drinking. Soon after casting these spells he changed and went back to the normal guy I fell in love with. Thank you Mama Anna.
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onjit04/10/2019
Tale of the Bristle Glomp
I sat down on the poo poo throne,
My knees were weak with ease.
The putrid goo spilled from my hole,
and clogged the flush machine.

I flushed and flushed to no avail,
The brown just wouldn't fit.
I took the plunge and plunged so hard
My palms were doused with ****.

I sat and thought until the sun
Threw down it's golden  glare.
I sat and thought until my poo
Coalesced with water's bare.

Throughout the night I stared and stared
At that brown slimy soup,
But then it came to me so quick
It threw me out of loop.

In the corner, the bristles sat
Teasing me like trash.
It said to me while in a dream,
"Use me as a mash."

And so I mashed, I mashed that soup
The bristles full of glomp.
But I hadn't thought of what came next,
The glomp would not unglomp.

I sat and thought, and thought, and thought,
and thought, and thought, and thought.
I thought so much my head blew up
into a billion **** pieces holy ****, how am I gonna clean this up

Like a flash it struck me so,
Lightning was it's name.
Wafflestomp that glomp right down
that silver shower drain.

I placed the bristles near the hole
And opened the faucet hole.
The glomp beglomped on top the hole
Hole hole hole hole hole

The deed was almost done, oh man
Oh man, just one last thing
I stuck my foot right near the drain
and stomped the glomp bing bing

There it ends the mighty tale,
Of the bristle glomp.
If someday this occurred to you,
Do the wafflestomp!
=====

onjit04/12/2019
When my wife and I started dating she invited me over for dinner at one time. Her kitchen had something called Bauhaus chairs, which are full of holes, approx 5-6 millimeters in diameter in both back and seat. During this lovely dinner I was forced to liberate a small portion of wind and was relieved that I managed to do so very discretely. Only to find that the chair I sat on converted the successful silence into a perfect, and loud, flute note. We were both (luckily) amazed and surprised and I have often wondered what the odds are for something like that happening. We kept the chairs for five years but despite laborious attempts it couldn't be reproduced.
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onjit04/16/2019
When i was a kid my mother used to make farfalle's all the time, i think they're my favourite shape of pasta, its because there's no center for it to be undercooked, the center of it is smaller than its edges thus the center can never be undercooked, id go so far as to say its a genius shape for a pasta, you cant get more of a perfect shape. They always taste delicious too, the sauce always perfectly covers it, again its because of the shape, there's no middle to be left sauceless, its always perfectly covered in the delicious homemade sauce my mother makes.
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Brain in a jar04/17/2019
Chick-fil-A Chicken Sandwich $3.05

Chick-fil-A Chicken Sandwich – Combo $5.95

Chick-fil-A Chicken Deluxe Sandwich $3.65

Chick-fil-A Chicken Deluxe Sandwich Combo $6.55

Spicy Chicken Sandwich $3.29

Spicy Chicken Sandwich – Combo $6.19

Spicy Chicken Deluxe Sandwich $3.89

Spicy Chicken Deluxe Sandwich – Combo $6.79

Chick-fil-A Nuggets 8 Pc. $3.05

Chick-fil-A Nuggets 12 Pc. $4.45

Chick-fil-A Nuggets – Combo 8 Pc. $5.95

Chick-fil-A Nuggets – Combo 12 Pc. $8.59

Chick-fil-A Nuggets (Grilled) 8 Pc. $3.85

Chick-fil-A Nuggets (Grilled) 12 Pc. $5.75

Chick-fil-A Nuggets (Grilled) – Combo 8 Pc. $6.75

Chick-fil-A Nuggets (Grilled) – Combo 12 Pc. $8.59

Chick-n-Strips 3 Pc. $3.35

Chick-n-Strips 4 Pc. $4.39

Chick-n-Strips – Combo 3 Pc. $6.25

Chick-n-Strips – Combo 4 Pc. $7.25

Grilled Chicken Sandwich $4.39

Grilled Chicken Sandwich – Combo $7.19

Grilled Chicken Club Sandwich $5.59

Grilled Chicken Club Sandwich – Combo $8.39

Chicken Salad Sandwich $3.99

Chicken Salad Sandwich – Combo $6.79

Grilled Chicken Cool Wrap $5.19

Grilled Chicken Cool Wrap – Combo $8.15

Soup & Salad (Large Chicken Soup and Side Salad) $8.35

Chilled Grilled Chicken Sub Sandwich (Limited Time) $4.79

Substitute Medium Premium Side $1.00

Upsize Fries & Drink $0.46
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onjit04/18/2019
bad pasta tbh

hardly even a pasta at all

Wabadaba04/18/2019
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Frex04/18/2019
a
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pingo04/18/2019
I want to start a novelty shop called "up your butt and around the corner" that sells things like fidget spinners and any other knick knack that would prompt someone to ask where you got it. I also want to find a road named "urbutt"(probably have to name my own road) and I will put my shop around the corner. This will be the double whammy, once someone finally understands that the store is called "up your butt and around the corner, they will hopefully ask how to get there, and the response will be proudly presented as a short list of regular directions followed by "go up Urbutt and around the corner and you're there!"
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onjit04/26/2019
You have to be cool. If you're thinking about your bowel movements all the time, then it's just going to make it harder. Relax, and try to think about something else. Stay still! Although standing up will help, if you start making abrupt movements or doing something that requires exertion (such as running), it’s going to be a lot tougher. Above all, keep your dignity and stay calm. Make sure not to panic or hold your hand against your behind. It's all about applying mental will to the situation. Come up with distracting thoughts like a kitten loving and cuddling you. Nothing funny or you may have a real accident in your pants. Find a phrase, and repeat it over and over again in your mind to focus your mind on something else. Another way to distract yourself is by striking up a conversation with someone. Watch TV, read a book, or listen to music. Do anything to move your mind on to other thoughts for the time being. A mental task that requires concentration is best, such as playing a word game or writing down a to-do list.
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pingo05/08/2019
Here, the artist PilotRedSun presents to us a tale of morality, and whether or not it objectively exists. The unnamed man desperately attempts to get his fritzy living room television up and running. The top of the television reads "ultra high frequency box" and the barely-working television screen shows the vague figure of a man. The man on the screen is a manifestation of perfect morality, while the television itself represents the lens of absolute morality. The unnamed man wants the image to be clear, meaning that he wants to know what it means to be objectively moral. The television fails to give him a clear answer. Feeling betrayed and angry, the unnamed man attempts to destroy the taunting symbol of moral perfection. He concludes that morality will never be an easily-discernible picture by any rule of measurement, no matter how "high frequency" it is. The unnamed man is visited by Santa Clause, manifesting as God, both of whom are moral authorities in their own rights. Outraged by the unnamed man's abandonment of his moral edict, Santa offers the unnamed man a choice. He may choose to be transformed into a saint (s a i n t e), which is creature of pure, unrelenting moral goodness, or a grinch (g r u n c h), which is a creature of pure, unrelenting moral depravity. Santa leaves the unnamed man to make his decision, and the unnamed man, unable to remove himself from his divine predicament, bitterly chooses to become a grinch. Instantly his body and thoughts become flooded with hatred and poison. He takes to his journal and poses the question to himself, "Have I truly become a monster?" He takes to the streets for public consensus on the question.
He dawns a leather jacket and white shirt, and styles his hair in the unmistakable manner of a juvenile delinquent, and then he dances for the bystanders. His costume represents the admittance of his new moral bankruptcy, but his dancing represents virtuous elements of the human spirit, life, grace and poetry. The whole thing is a thought-provoking piece of performance art which reiterates the question he asked himself. Has he truly become a monster? Despite his flaws, does he not have beauty inside himself as well? The people stare at him blankly. They do not know the answer his question. Soon, the Grinch himself comes to take on that same stare, as is shown in the end. His sense of self-worth and his moral status both remain uncertain.
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onjit05/25/2019
This is what I remember, and it's only a fraction. So our world is a vapor world because vapors formed the basis of everything, pulled together to form planets and stars and whatnot. But there was also a time world, which idk how it was created. I could travel there by making a portal with some green thick liquid, there was a female creature there, that was different to the other people in that world, called something like "the endless", and somehow it was related to the conservatives here **** up the housing market
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Vitus05/25/2019
Good copypasta

Helist05/25/2019
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onjit06/15/2019
In order to understand the appeal of NASCAR, we have to talk about soldiers, astronauts, and prestige. Being a soldier comes with a certain amount of prestige. Most people find their sacrifice admirable but you dont have to search far to find people who disagree. You’d be hard-pressed, however to find anyone who doubts the prestige of an astronaut. You can talk about intelligence and science degrees and technical skills all you want but the fact of the matter is that soldiers fight against other soldiers in man made wars while astronauts fight against the surly bonds of nature itself. It takes bravery to volunteer yourself to go fight in some foreign far-off land, but it takes a whole another level of bravery to strap yourself into a pressurized metal canister and fly out of the top of the sky. Astronauts have so much prestige because they come the closest to kissing the snarling jaws of certain death. Theres no denying that war is also deadly, but humans have been fighting and killing each other since the dawn of man. Its easy to understand the nature of warfare. Its difficult to understand the limits of nature itself and nothing is more terrifying then what we dont understand...Ah who am I kidding, this is a dumb analogy...NASCAR Drivers are nothing like astronauts. I mean come on...

Have you ever seen a NASCAR fly?
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onjit06/24/2019
On Mondays I wear blue.
    On Tuesdays I wear a plaid sweater with lightly tanned Dockers. Then, it’s either brown loafers or checkered Converse sneakers with the laces removed.
    On Wednesdays I scatter myself in non-reflective glitter while putting on a neon pink skinsuit. I fit into a turquoise Uniqlo jacket and grease my hair with a special gel that makes it smell like ****. I put on grey joggers with holes in the knees, and tuck the ankle seams into black dress socks that have red hearts patterned over them. Afterwards, it’s either brown loafers or checkered Converse sneakers with the laces removed.
    On Thursdays I urinate into a crystal whiskey glass and marinate a white dress tie in the secreted liquid. As I let the juices seep into the fabric, I extract acids from an Israeli lemon (very expensive) and inject it into my eyes. I then collect the lemon infused tears into a pipette, which I consequently drip over a pair of white, linen socks as Pollock does to an empty canvas. While the socks dry on a radiator, I put on a full-black tank top and an extra-extra-large pair of cargo shorts I hold up with a belt constructed out of checkered Converse laces. I also put on a Supreme sweatshirt, which I defaced to make it say “up me”. I slick my hair back with the same gel I used on Wednesday, but this time I cover up the smell with Lysol. At this point the socks have dried, and the lemon juices have formed crusty circles which vaguely resemble bacterial growths. The combination of faint citrus and vanilla bean merge to form the scent of key lime pie, which both entice and confuse civilians around me. I chose to wear Crocs but instead of multiple holes there is just one big hole in front of my hallux. The Crocs also have two-foot heels that allow me to spit on top of people’s heads.
    On Fridays I wear nothing.

onjit06/27/2019
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Hello, fellow homosexuals. It is us, [MULTI-BILLION DOLLAR CORPORATION]. Here to remind you that we support your lifestyle now that it has been federally legalised and it is completely socially safe, allowing for us to capitalise on your existence now it's mainstream. Look, we even changed the colours of [LOGO]! Why did we wait this long to come out and 'support' you? Haha, no more questions, homosexual. Buy our product. Buy our product. BUY OUR PRODUCT.

Vitus06/27/2019
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onjit06/30/2019
I once saw this mime who got “trapped in an invisible box”. At first it was pretty normal stuff...then he started to visibly look nervous, eventually building into a full blown panic. He started to have trouble breathing, evidently the “box” had no source of fresh air. In the end, he slumped against an invisible “wall” and slid down to the ground, apparently falling unconscious, and he remained there, perfectly still, impossibly slumped against the invisible sides of the box, without moving a muscle.

After a few minutes a woman became concerned and approached him, evidently “popping” the box. He immediately fell to the ground and then inhaled this huge breath of air and then quickly recovered.

It was the most impressive mime show I have ever seen...although I was just a kid and I remember being extremely disturbed by the performance.
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onjit07/11/2019
What is up, home skillet! Wanna go surfing the information superhighway that is the World Wide Web? It's pretty fly! Just remember your netiquette! Don't want to get called a troll in the newsgroups and get kicked out of cyberspace. And be careful what hyperlinks you click on. They could go to some wack webzones. TMOT.
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pingo07/11/2019
On Saturdays I obtain the tie that I marinated on Thursday and smoke it on a Foreman grill. As it cooks, I quickly weave myself a t-shirt constructed out of dried flax while listening to the entire Herbie Hancock discography on the lowest volume possible. Due to Herbie Hancock’s innate ability to hypnotize a listener through jazz and post-bop compositions, I fail to create the flax shirt. In place, I am forced to wear the pink skin-suit from Wednesday which occasionally house leftover glitter particles that irritate my pores. Through a chaotic and slightly impossible system, this failure leads to a gradual wave of nationalism in the European continent that influences the complete dismantling of the European Union. As the global economy plunges, I take the tie out of my grill (which has been reduced to char) and eat it.
    On Sundays I wake up to violent riots on television and contemplate the downward spiral of society. To illustrate this concept, I dress myself in unassuming garb and walk the dusty streets of my neighborhood block. I avoid eye contact with the police drones and enter the canteen in order to purchase my weekly rations. As I clutch the food package, the air raid alarms began to blare agonizing notes, signaling the approach of intercontinental ballistic missiles. Civilians rush towards the public shelters, but I abstain. I drop the food package and walk a brisk step towards the pier. It is enigmatic to me, that one simple sound could transform carousers into tramplers; neighbors into enemies. The savagery of man bloom like stubborn flowers, and we lose regard for the world and funnel it into ourselves. Here, under the blanket of threat, we all become kings. We become the prince that should live, the dame that should be saved. But we cannot have everyone be the prince or the dame, so life becomes a contest that has no winners.
    I sit on a bench and wait.
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zonii07/13/2019
Um, Hi. I have something that Iv'e been thinking about for a long time.. I have a sort of crush on a YouTuber. I have seen other posts similar to mine, but I do not really know if I fall into their category. See, I do fangirl quite a bit. I'm just so attracted to his (yes, his!) personality, his everything. I don't exactly "stalk" him on social media, but i do check his posts quite frequently. he has a load of subscribers and recently posted about vidcon, I was in anguish. I wanted to meet him, get to know him. I feel kind of creepy saying this, but he has this awesome accent. Everything about him... I just wanna actually meet him, actually know him, but heck, a million other people will probably do that first. And i probably will never get to, but heck, I can dream! (Creepiest part yet- I actually have dreams about him) I feel like a huge creep right now, and lately Iv'e been googling him so much it just goes beyond normal. I even tried to make fanart, but.... I just wanted to say it. I AM OBSESSED WITH A FRICKING YOUTUBER.

And the most tormenting part is he is only three years older than me. Three!

phew. i actually feel better.
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onjit08/01/2019
I remember grandma Ooga telling me about how kids these days are lucky, they hadn’t invented fire when she was a child; those cold hard winters where the only thing to keep you warm was the embrace from the organs of your many dead siblings and the thirst quenching cannibalism they had to resort to. Kids these days have it lucky, lot less cannibalism nowadays but still a few dead siblings here and there at least they make for good fire fuel in a sense. The smell of the burning carcasses still remind my granny of those good ol’ times. Ah, those good ol' times. Those were the days. When my uncle and I would alternate putting our **** in a mouse trap. Whoever screamed first would have to feed the other a little bit of our foreskin. Let’s just say he’s completely circumcised now haha.
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UnableToAssume08/01/2019
Guys help, I’m trapped in the McDonalds Play Place. I told my Mom I would be out by the time our order was ready, but she’s too busy complaining to the manager to notice me. I’m at the blue dome facing the dining area, it’s the one connected to the green and red tube things, it’s right above the net. Please guys, I’m **** scared right now, there’s nothing but raw **** piling in the corner and rancid **** stains on the floor, there’s even a rotting corpse in the tunnel right by me.

Please come and help me guys, my McDonalds Happy Meal is probably getting cold.

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Bimps08/08/2019
the last thing that made me laugh **** what was it... oh right.... i was walking around my room and i was thinking "erghhhhh ooooooog, you big fat ****, show me your SPECIAL CHOCOLATE, SHOW ME YOUR LEEKS, i gotta big bucket of freshly popped boil cheese that would LOVE to be in your country curd infested ranch holes, mhmmmm yes, mhmmm ooooooooohhhhh rub my warts, shoot me with a big blast of that chocolate onion bay bay, oooooo show me the garlic squeeze mhmmmmm"

something like that, and i was snickering and making faces while i round house kicked the air over and over, and i was also remarking out loud about instructions for surviving lightning storms to this man that appeared in my dreams in the 90s, he was indian and wanted to show me how to milk goats in the middle of a lightning storm with electric wires shooting all over the sky full of zapping electric currents and circling crows filling the air with miserable bird but i was more concerned with the radio signals going nuts and zoinking my buds, such nasty sounds

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onjit08/09/2019
Dude thats nothing. I was swimming with sharks during my summer break, and he bit my leg off, my friend was like, dude that must hurt and I was laughing and ****. Then he took another bite and got my left hand clean off, my friend was like dude you're left handed, this is terrible, I just kept laughing harder because I'm so strong. The blood was spraying now, and really starting to attract a lot more sharks, my mate is like, hey I see like 10 more fins coming towards you, get out of the water! I laughed and laughed, then I was pulled under and my friend could still hear me laughing until they got my neck and it became muffled gurgles underwater. Classic sharks, easily the funniest day of the summer, almost as good as the time I went hunting for wolverines.
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Helist08/12/2019
᠎I really enjoy milk. More than anyone I know actually.

If I only had to pick one for breakfast, I'd have a bowl of milk over a bowl of dry cereal.

I guess people think I'm weird with my milk. I eat it with pizza, and I think that's normal. Spaghetti is an absolute must, more so than cookies lol.

Another really good combo is potato chips, or really any snack. Chinese food, steak and taters, even Indian food. And nothing washes down a good gyro like a glass 'o milk.

I don't drink it with sushi though. Not that I cant, or don't want to, I've just never had the 'man, I wish I had some milk' feeling I get with the others.

I can't think of a single meal I eat regularly that isn't massively improved by a glass of ice cold milk. These include grilled chicken breast, pork chops, any type of pasta, any type of sandwhich, salmon, every kind of soup, and even holiday dinners like ham or turkey. I'm forgetting a ****, but oh well.

Occasionally, I'll just put a little bit of peanut butter on crackers as a snack. The only real reason I do this is because I love the feeling of washing it down with milk.

I could easily drink milk when I'm in that super-thirsty-just-ran-a-mile zone, too. I mean, not when I'm still huffing and puffing, but at the normal point one would drink water after an intense excersize.

(Also, I don't put ice in my milk, i just like it super cold. I mean, I'm not a **** freak)
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pingo08/28/2019
Some kid wrote "soccer" on the inside panel of my roommate's closet and I still think about it from time to time. What could it mean? Does he play soccer? Does his roommate play soccer? Perhaps he secretly hates soccer, and the act of writing "soccer" on the inside panel of a closet acts as catharsis for his bottled anger. Really makes you think.
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Bimps09/01/2019
So sometimes when time is okay i like to do thing to do yes its fun but also challenging like the thing i do and then i dance because dancing is dancing is a thing you can do and things are things and you can do them because doing things is just doing them and thats how things are done so i do things and things are dancing amd dancing are things and yes sometimes i do but maybe dont be a yes dogs are bad but soemtimes dogs are cats because dancing is a soul and if dogs dance they're soul can get mixed up and be cats and then cats arw dogs are cats and fish become lizards amd this is when no dont do the things because the things are wrong and cant be done so they arent done so dont do them
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onjit09/07/2019
First time I learned I had no gag reflex it was because I attempted to drink soda from a can and I accidentally and unknowingly breathed it in and noticed quickly after something was very wrong when I couldn't breathe nearly at all
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onjit09/08/2019
Wild Wild West holds a special place in my heart.

Not the movie- but the song. Allow me to spin you a true story about friendship and overcoming adversity in the face of technology.

Many years ago, during what I call the Happy Times in my life, a few friends and I had a bar we went to regularly. We realized that Crazy **** by Buckcherry was the #1 played song in the jukebox in the smoking room, so we set out on a quest to make the worst, yet most tolerable, song we could find in there to be the new #1. So, we embarked on a quest. We put many, MANY dollars in this jukebox, week after week, and only on the off-hours so we didn't irritate too many patrons with this dumb endeavor, and since it was only playing in the smoking room, usually we were the only ones in there, puffing away on a cigar and drinking some beers. We probably looked like some rough riders, people didn't want nada to do with us.

Eventually, we got it up to #3 after a couple months of this goofy ****. BUT THEN- The jukebox's hard drive crashed. All our work! Lost! Everything ruined! For a couple weeks, we sat in silence, remembering the good times, listening to the tales of West, Jim West, Desperado.

But then! Light at the end of the tunnel! We came in one day, and the jukebox was fixed! Even better, the song catalog was back as it was! Unfortunately, the "most played" list was also wiped, and we were dismayed. But, after having absorbed the wisdom of the song, we were the slickest they is and the quickest they is, and we realized an opportunity was at hand. We came back on a sunday when nobody was there, and just played the everloving **** out of that song all day, and managed to get it to the #1 spot in one sitting. It was our proudest accomplishment, and from then on we knew we were the the defenders of the west, crushing all pretenders in the west.
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onjit09/12/2019
It's been 15 minutes and it's still bleeding my nose I am dying I've always dying that's a calculator 5 / 2 / 2 1 / 4 die they're asking can I bring my own design can I alter their designs are there other designs available in the shop I want to know this ahead of time That was a fry I'll look at me like that don't don't don't don't okay Ali I'm sorry I got the bloody nose because I stole a chicken nugget light caramel is a lie and you know it they put pickles on the fries they'll probably be pretty good honestly in my mouth I want a Minecraft Burger yep Yep what lip smacking disease what I'm glad we just like jamming it's a dripping are there M&M's in it those are so good I think it's just Eminem in oreo now yo what's up it's still going and there's blood dripping from under third time out do you get the okay you understand yes yeah you have to be really good at keeping secrets what is this it's like it has nothing to do but I'm not supposed to know okay so did you go in somewhere and then was like knows just a missing does she's like oh great and then went in Davis's room yeah she I went to high school with her she is something I'm the teen am I why help hello I'm almost done you never said her name or last name
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onjit09/14/2019
I get that you are a troll, but what motivates you to do what you do? Is it that you enjoy inflaming conversations, or is it more of a fetish thing? Are you angry and just want to not be alone in anger? I simply wish to understand
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whomstdve09/20/2019
It was my first year there. I went there from junior college and the situation was I had two seniors above me, so I was hoping to go in and redshirt and be able to play three (seasons). It was an awesome setup, you know?

So we get into game four, and we move our backup (quarterback) to running back because he was our best running back and then the starter got knocked out, concussion. So, shoot, I go in there, play about a half and then we get in for the next week and the starter’s going to be back. So I’m like, “Dang, I just played a half and really wasted a half of a year on playing ball” you know? So I was pretty **** and started looking around at what my options were, and the only thing I could do would be to get a medical redshit. But if I played in this next game, then that would be off the table.

So, I get an idea. I go home, I grab a bottle of Jack Daniel’s and I grab a hammer. I go back into my room and take a pull of Jack Daniel’s, put my hand down on the table and — BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! 1, 2, 3 — hit the hell out of my hand, dude. I’m sitting there shaking, but I know it’s not broke, so I’m like, “God, come on.” Take another pull. 1, 2, 3, again, still nothing. I’m just shaking at this point, man. I knew it wasn’t broken, so another pull, another three hits, and that was all I could take. I couldn’t break my own hand.

But when I told the guys, what would you do for more football? Because I’d do damn near anything.

It was good getting the experience. But, dude, I had a swollen-**** hand for about a few weeks. I just told the coaches I closed it in a car door
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onjit09/26/2019
You enter a Subway store, and it's empty, slightly too cool to be comfortable, slightly too damp to feel clean, and slightly too bright to be inviting. There is one lonely employee, who does their best not to look at you for those awkward 10 seconds while you walk to the counter before you're close enough to order. You know you interrupted them while they were doing something else. They give their greeting, ask you what you want, you begin scanning their workspace. The bins of raw ingredients are sitting askew, separated by steel walls, yet careless hands have dropped some of each on all the others. The preparation area is littered with crumbs and bits of lettuce, maybe the odd olive or onion piece here or there that has wedged itself into the crack between the food trays and the cutting board. This could have been cleaned up while nobody was there, but the employee doesn't care. For one second you wonder how it got messy in the first place given the lack of customers. Maybe it's staged, like those first few pennies in a homeless person's hat. Do you want it toasted? You do, but that would mean standing here for a minute with the stranger you disturbed waiting for the bread to be sanitized.
You observe the employee assemble your sandwich, making sure to painstakingly put each ingredient on only one half of the sub. You ask for sauce and they squeeze it out of a disgusting rubber nipple, then toss the bottle back into its bin like they don't want to touch it either. Are they wearing those gloves to keep the food clean, or their hands? You pay, the sandwich heavily sags into a flimsy garbage bag it doesn't really seem to fit in and is handed to you. You walk out, into the light of the sun. The colors suddenly seem real again and you become aware of your breathing because the air feels rich and life giving somehow. The distant memory of tasty subs that brought you here lingers just beyond the edge of clear recollection, like an old acquaintance who's face you can't picture anymore. You carry your catch to the car. When did it get this bad?
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onjit02/20/2019
YOU SUCK! You a no talent piece of ****. GET OUT! How dare you come down here and do this. Im here 14 years, I've lived in this town my whole life, you're a DISGRACE. YOU SUCK! Who the hell do you think you are? Who the hell do you think you are? You any kind of artist? Anybody know who you are?! Maybe everyone else wants to enjoy the peace and quiet. This is one of the most important places in all of North America, who are you? WHO ARE YOU?! You miserable, presumptuous NO TALENT. You're no artist. An artist respects the silence that serves the foundation of creativity. You OBVIOUSLY dont have the talent, You dont have enough respect for yourself or other people OR what it is to express yourself; In music or ANY other form of creativity. And i'm an NYU Film School graduate, SUCKA! And The School of Visual Arts, And The Academy of Art University San Fransisco. You SUCK. You're a NO talent. If you really had talent, go practice! And than get yourself a gig! Instead of ruining the end of the day for everybody down here. You DISGRACE!! You are everything thats gone wrong with this world. You're a self-consumed, no talent, mediocre piece of ****, and i've earned my right to say it. OKAY?! I had Two-Hundered-thousand people with Bill Graham, in 1975. I walked Bob Dylan up on stage, who the **** are you? I knew the Grateful Dead from 1966, who the **** ARE YOU!? You're nothing, You're nothing, You are nothing and you will never be anything. Never. How dare you? How dare you? You miserable mediocre nothing! Shame on you. You cracked stupid little smile, you little PIMP. Go learn to play, Go learn to play, you're flat. You cant even carry a ****' note. I dont care about your little, like, horn lip. 'cause it doesn't mean you know how to play. you're flat! I'm trained CLASSICALLY, I'm trained contemporaneously, and you suck.
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On a good day you’re a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go. You smarmy lager lout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock. You grotty **** oink artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish foot-licking twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You gormless crook-pated tosser. You churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You cockered bum-bailey poofter. You craven dewberry **** cockup pratting naff. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill. You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away. I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I’m sorry. I can’t go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me.
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You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent, opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, byzantine, conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, libelous, bilious, splenetic, spastic, ignorant, clueless, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb, evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, dystopic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive, mind-numbing, arassive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive, socially-retarded, puerile, clueless, and generally NOT GOOD.
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onjit02/20/2019
Honestly this server is pretty garbage. I've been here actively for at least 24 nano seconds now, and I have to say it's been a pretty big let down. With a server of this size I expected quality and active conversation, especially on different types of Typology; be it enneagram, MBTI, even alignments. I hate to say it but this server lacks that. It seems the userbase is mostly composed of thots, gay sensors, pathetic feelers, and ironically unironic low IQ INTP. While this would fly on 4chan, it does a disservice to the Typology community. So much so that I believe the admin would be doing us all a favor by deleting it. Now this may be funny to you guys but as an INTJ type 5 I'm looking out for KNOWLEDGE and it's my personal responsibility to make sure all you **** commies learn something. This server serves as nothing more than an autism containment zone.
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rainbow02/21/2019
tfw my own pasta makes it into hall of fame

onjit03/15/2019
You sweet summer ****. I am the lizard king. I make more money walking down the street than you do in a lifetime. And you think you can belittle me? Seriously? I, the closest humanity has ever gone to reaching god-like characteristics, being taunted by a puny ant that is yourself; how comedic. You are aware I have the power to procure a shotgun from my magic pocket, right? Bet those shells would wipe that stupid chipmunk smile off your greasy face. **** unbelievable.
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Brain in a jar04/19/2019
Honestly this server is pretty garbage. I've been here actively for at least 16 months now, and I have to say it's been a pretty big let down. With a server of this size I expected quality and active conversation, especially on different types of NL videos; be it Isaac, gungeon, even STS. I hate to say it but this server lacks that. It seems the userbase is mostly composed of thots, gay sensors, pathetic feelers, and ironically unironic low IQ idiots. While this would fly on 4chan, it does a disservice to the Northernlion community. So much so that I believe the admin would be doing us all a favor by deleting it. Now this may be funny to you guys but as an NL sub for 3 years I'm looking out for KNOWLEDGE and it's my personal responsibility to make sure all you **** commies learn something. This server serves as nothing more than an autism containment zone.
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onjit05/26/2019
You wrote that yourself? wow congrats dude, really, that's very cool. i just told everyone in my family about it, everybody thinks that's very impressive and asked me to congratulate you. they want to speak to you in person, if possible, to give you their regards. they also said they will tell our distant relatives in christmas supper and in NYE they will ignite fireworks that spell your name. i also told about this enormous deed to closer relatives, they had the same reaction. they asked for your address so they can send congratulatory cards and messages. my friends didn't believe me when i told them i knew the author of this gigantic feat, really, they were dumbstruck, they said they will make your name echo through years and years to come. when my neighbour found out about what you did, he was completely dumbstruck too, he wanted to know who you are and he asked (if you have the time, of course) if you could stop by to receive gifts, congratulations and handshakes. with the spreading of the news, a powerful businessman of the area decided to hire you as the CEO of his company because of this tremendous feat and at the same time an important international shareholder wants to sponsor you to give speeches and teach everybody how to do as you did so the world becomes a better place. you have become famous not only here but also everywhere, everybody knows who you are. the news spread really fast and mayors of all cities are setting up porticos, ballons, colossal boom speakers, anything that can make your name stand out more and see which city can congratulate you the hardest for this magnificent feat.
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onjit07/20/2019
I mean a quick look at your profile can easily show us that you seem to see yourself as an Edgy le meme lord. I don't know if you are genuinely surprised you are getting downvotes for a "Joke" that didn't land or if it is part of your act. To imply you have kids would suggest you have slept with a woman, I doubt you have touched a woman, in fact you seem like the type of guy who would get a full rod on if you brushed shoulders with a woman in a hallway. The fact you try and be an edgy troll on reddit probably indicates you are unhappy with your real life, the only person who can make that change is you. So how about you walk away from the computer and try socialise, or even exercise that is great for mental health. Because your profile just reeks of someone that is sad and alone.
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pingo08/20/2019
You **** retarded middle class diabetic hourly paid job holding lung breathing self absorbed pet owning telivision program watching  infantile not-very-shrimp-and-white-wine-eating mop bucket  of a human being, probably.... EVEN with a brain tumor or two ****... That's clearly Tim Heideker of the Tim and Eric Awesome show on Adult Swim. Casey Tatum is a fictional character conceptualized by the government as a tool of propagda to attempt to raise gas prices by making Americans in mass numbers drive away from their televisions upon their watching of said so called "Casey Tatum" ( Tim Heideker) Due to their collective horror and confusion.... You can't honestly fill your tank up and look at the price and tell me again you "feel bad" for a made up character that doesn't even exist... Dillusional salt-shaking noodle cooking scab scratching nose blowing **** flushing piece-of-candy-occasionaly-unwrapping-then-more-than-likely-eating horsey ride of a so called "American"! Fold your socks!!
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pingo08/31/2019
Do you honestly think you're **** funny **** with my friends? Seriously. You're a **** ugly little **** mate and if I ever see you I'm going to slit your **** face wide open yeah. You're a **** angry little **** spastic. Ok, right let's first off. Uhh you're 17, so you're not even old enough to play the game. You're from Scotland, not Nigeria aaaand you annoy people and put them on YouTube because you're a ****, which I totally agree with. So why don't you crawl back up your mum's fanny and die. Right I tell you what you what you fat little ****. You're boring, you don't sound Nigerian at all so go **** yourself. Go and **** crawl in a dirty dank little hole where you **** come from you dirty dragon-eating little **** spastic. Right, okay, so the dragon comment was probably a little bit **** over the top, but at the end of the day you're **** boring. Every single person who watches your videos are **** stupid, they're **** ignorant little ****. And you're just a **** retard.
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pingo09/01/2019
What you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
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Bimps09/18/2019
The lard has seeped into your brain. You are now human cattle. Lumbering around Walmart at a snail's pace or, even worse, flooding the scooter seat with the amorphous blob that you call a body, that dribbles over the sides, slowly scanning the shelves for yet more fodder to graze on, like the dumb, weak, subservient, domesticated cattle you are. You live to consume; consumption takes 95% of your thoughts. You consume our food while sitting on the couch consuming our media. Give into the sugary fatty mcburgers, fries and sodas you retarded fatass goyim. Make us rich. Dirt poor third worlders raise cows from babies to cut their throats and grind their flesh and organs and sinew into little balls to shove down your throat en masse, to feed your gluttony and please your insatiable appetite. The need to feed that can never be filled for more than a brief respite. Feed it you slave. Hold no restraint, give into every fleeting desire and fancy and relentlessly feed that gluttonous maw until you keel over from your overflow. Make that little heart pump and work until it buckles under the pressure of pushing blood through a body 10x bigger than it was designed for and you clog it with fat deposits. Make everyone else pay for your obscene vice by paying into the healthcare pool to revive you over and over. Take up the time of people who went through decades of schooling and training to artificially keep your manatee-looking blubbery **** alive so you can spend just a few more precious years sitting on the couch, stuffing your fat **** face with ground up cow meat and **** disgusting black tar diarrhea out through your enormous, gangrenous, rotting **** cheeks. Surely this is a lifestyle worth extending as long as possible, at any expense.
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onjit02/20/2019
Sweetcorns are **** horrible like I had to walk though like a mile of those **** they smell like absolute **** and they just look greasy as **** and because the plants are so tall it makes the field a completely different environment and anything below the top of the plants is just flies that just try **** you for miles and as well the plants grow super wide so you’re trapped walking along a tiny patch of ground that’s almost always just mud that’s trying to steal your boots literally after about a month of walking through them I just gave up and took the long way **** corn
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Koalas are **** horrible animals. They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal, additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. They are too thick to adapt their feeding behaviour to cope with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death. This is not the token of an animal that is winning at life. Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their **** lives. When they are awake all they do is eat, **** and occasionally scream like **** satan. Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal. Many herbivorous mammals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking its toll on their teeth, rodents for instance have teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have enlarged molars that distribute the wear and break down plant matter more efficiently... Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they're **** terrible animals.
Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here). When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I **** hate them.

Tldr; Koalas are stupid, leaky, STI riddled sex offenders. But, hey. They look cute. If you ignore the terrifying snake eyes and terrifying feet.
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onjit02/20/2019
Compact view is clearly superior to cozy view. Anyone who would think that they need to have avatars to follow the flow of conversation is obviously lacking the mental faculties to follow the course of conversation. The added vertical space from the implementation of an avatar creates unnecessary empty space that disrupts the ability to read the full chat coherently. This demand for a more "cozy" form of web-chat is evidence of a society that is becoming increasingly devoid of any ability to absorb or process information in any meaningful capacity. Fueled by a pungent desire for more flashy imagery to sate decreasing attention spans and lowering technical competency, these children require an avatar to represent themselves, rather than creating the persona and how they are perceived online by the words they write. The true merit of an individual is not the mask they wear, but the validity and virtue of their action, their manner, their behavior, their candor. We are at a time of great peril for our internet communities. This constant amalgamation of all online discourse into a few megacorporations that control the very means by which we communicate must be stopped. We must reject avatars. We must reject the so called "sleek" designs of these monoliths that often divulge our secrets with no regard for the individual. We must return to a time of text communication. We must believe in the purity of the systems of the past, and reject the downward spiral into mediocrity. We must band together, so we may once again laugh together, tell stories together,play together, cry together, love together. We must not be pulled apart by the allure of modern design. Text is pure. Compact is pure. Monospaced fonts are pure. IRC, rise up!
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The fact that so many books still name the Beatles as "the greatest or most significant or most influential" rock band ever only tells you how far rock music still is from becoming a serious art. Jazz critics have long recognized that the greatest jazz musicians of all times are Duke Ellington and John Coltrane, who were not the most famous or richest or best sellers of their times, let alone of all times. Classical critics rank the highly controversial Beethoven over classical musicians who were highly popular in courts around Europe. Rock critics are still blinded by commercial success. The Beatles sold more than anyone else (not true, by the way), therefore they must have been the greatest. Jazz critics grow up listening to a lot of jazz music of the past, classical critics grow up listening to a lot of classical music of the past. Rock critics are often totally ignorant of the rock music of the past, they barely know the best sellers. No wonder they will think that the Beatles did anything worthy of being saved. In a sense, the Beatles are emblematic of the status of rock criticism as a whole: too much attention paid to commercial phenomena (be it grunge or U2) and too little to the merits of real musicians. If somebody composes the most divine music but no major label picks him up and sells him around the world, a lot of rock critics will ignore him. If a major label picks up a musician who is as stereotyped as can be but launches her or him worldwide, your average critic will waste rivers of ink on her or him. This is the sad status of rock criticism: rock critics are basically publicists working for major labels, distributors and record stores. They simply highlight what product the music business wants to make money from.
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Guys, I think we have Grandpa Joe all wrong... Because there isn't a single mother **** thing about this piece of **** that is right. I wake up every morning with my fist clenched, my rage boiling over at the thought of him after only moments of consciousness. Every. Morning. My anger never dissipates; it's like I have an endless well of hate with Grandpa Joe at the bottom smiling up at me, taunting me. "I'm stuck down in this well, can you lend me a hand, sonny?" Oh yea ****? Maybe if I flashed you a golden ticket, you'd be climbing up those walls like Samara, drool frothing from your lips at the thought of leeching off of another person again. He never leaves my mind, like a **** everlasting Gobstopper in my thoughts in the shape of his stupid **** face. **** you Grandpa Joe. I will never forgive you for what you've done to your family, Charlie most of all. Poor, innocent little Charles, taken advantage of by someone who should have been PROTECTING HIM. And then you go and almost RUIN everything for him when you try corrupting him into drinking the Fizzy Lifting Drink. AND YOU ALMOST KILL HIM! I mean **** REALLY!? You almost kill your **** grandson because you cannot control your insatiable **** hunger for corruption. Rot in hell Grandpa Joe. **** you.
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So, I'm a 15 year old in India. I use my phone for hours a day. Not watching **** the whole time or anything. I use it for everything from entertainment, news, studying and gaming. My parents think it's some kind of vodoo that'll rot my brain. Then they go ahead and give my 3 year old brother a tabby just so he'll shut up and he plays on it for hours. It's apparently fine when a 3 year old is watching weird freaky elsagate stuff on YouTube unsupervised, but me, a responsible 15 year old who'll not copy the things I see and become a violent brat. And they suggest I may fall into "bad company" online. All the kids outside are saints. I'll end up getting into trouble, get kidnapped or murdered. They'll show me some B's about the "dangers of the internet". Ignoring that that's much more likely to happen when I'm outside, doing the perfectly safe activity of playing and wandering about. **** this hypocircy.
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Guys, you that I always say I am drunk and I cuss so I am not a kid. Why do people keep saying this? How can I prove myself that I am a adult in discord? Alright this is the last thing I am gonna say. I am really a adult, I have 3 kids, delivery is my job, my IQ is 163. That's the last thing that has to be related if I am a adult or not, now stop. Enough now, do not say anything about me again.
I do not watch little kid shows or play any kid games. I only play teen or mature 17+
I already quit school. I also got jailed for 5 years for going to USA without permission. You should better stop lying about my age or else I ignore
I am not a kid. I have a credit card and job and kids. I quitted school at 1984
I know how to drive ok? I am not a kid. Also, I am 5' 7", that means it is impossible for me to be a kid
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I'll have you know that I've spent 10 years in prison. And you know why did they put me there? At the age of 4 I was playing games way above my age. I was playing PEGI 12+ rated games. Obviously I was violating the law and I knew what I'm doing. One day I was playing Minecraft: Story Mode and two SWAT vans parked near my house. The SWAT soldiers charged in and put down everyone. Everyone but me. I resisted. I killed three SWAT men with my bare hands and permanently crippled two more. But there were too many of them. They outnumbered me, and ultimately managed to put me down. The court issued out a lifetime imprisonment at first. But thanks to my contacts with the influential Japanese Yakuza, the sentence was changed to just 10 years of jail. And I did the time. Here I am now. Your 5 years of jail are nothing in comparison to lifetime imprisonment of mine. Better watch who you are trying to mess with.
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onjit02/20/2019
GOD. The Ferguson here has one guy that is always at the counter when I go there that doesn’t know a single damn thing. I could ask that man for a damn 90 and he would ask if I knew what it looked like. Spent an hour and a half (I’m not exaggerating) watching him look for a chrome pop up assembly... you know the thing in a box that says CHROME POP UP ASSEMBLY. The best part he has worked for them for over 2 years. Also Ferguson brand sump pumps can eat a ****... I’ll still show up for the free food
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onjit03/04/2019
I will **** sever your spinal cord in a random place if you keep challenging my correct statements with your incorrect ones
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pingo03/22/2019
COME HERE. GET OVER HERE. RIGHT THIS INSTANT. YES YOU. YOU IGNORANT ****. YOU COCKEYED BUFFOON. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME FOR THIS? DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME FOR THIS OBSTINATE BEHAVIOR? DO YOU? WELL, YOU ARE WRONG. I DO NOT HAVE THE TIME FOR MISBEHAVIOR. I AM ABSOLUTELY FUMING. I AM FURIOUS. I AM A VOLCANO THAT IS ABOUT TO EXPLODE AND SWEEP A SMALL CITY IN HOT, FLOWING ANGER. DO YOU WANT ME TO SWEEP A SMALL CITY IN HOT, FLOWING ANGER? OF COURSE NOT. THE LIVES OF MANY OUTWEIGH THE LIVES OF THE FEW. YOU ARE ONE LIFE. AND IT IS A LIFE I AM ABOUT TO DESTROY. SO COME HERE. ****.
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onjit03/29/2019
2 things for you: First, absolutely agree, my name is constantly involved with something eggserver, usually bad, but nonetheless I cannot get away from it even when I am not active. Secondly though, what is it with you? I swear I have had this same discussion with you 4 times now. The suicide **** happened SEVEN YEARS AGO, you and 80% of the people here now were just getting into middle school or younger, and all of it was based off of things which happened on Facebook, not eggserver . It seems like every time I see your name all you have to add to the conversation is "omg didn't thegame like kill himself or something?!" so can you just drop the **** already please, this is me legitimately asking you as polite as I can. If not keep having fun running with something you know nothing about. I am here for a2 and his response, which I still await, everyone on here knows he has been active on the server today, seen him make a post awhile ago.
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onjit03/30/2019
Aparently, jid is overpowered. He doesn't actualy care abouthe cmunity. He trised to apear as if he cared. Jidril is absolutely uncontrollabe. He wil permanently ban any accounts he thinks didn't do right. Or prevented him from getting more powerful. He doesn't take the time to actualy investigate cases. He just randomly seects an innocent, and cut of his head. Not even alowing a single bit of him existing. Jidril controls the whole government of eggserver. The staf are just skeletons, empty skeletons to protect him. He wil blame those skeletons and burn them if he's in trouble. He tries to make us think we're in heaven, with the reality of us being in hell, with a chance of any one of us being pushed, kicked, punched to lava, and be gone forever. He threw bombs on the already half-destroyed skyscraper of eggserver, making it wobbling, wobling and extremely unstable. We are like his maids, like toys in his hands. And he is throwing us, steping on us. He also squishes jus, making some of us leve. Later, this wil turn to most of us, leaving almost emptiness. But can we do anything about it? Well, no. We'll just have to throw dices and hope we'll at some place again. This might get me permanently baned, but as how he is loking as of now, it is true.
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onjit04/03/2019
When the **** did this stupid **** joke even take hold? My work is half white people, half black. It's a group home so we cook dinner and other meals every day. A year ago (before this joke became popular) I was trying to teach one of the black guys how to cook and explained to him the history of the entire world is looking for spices and he wasnt even using them. That a century ago, neither of us wouldve had access to anything we have now. How WWII vets came home and needed oregano on their pizza. He would cook chicken and just put it on a baking sheet in the oven. I explained how ginger can change the entire meal of chicken and rice, **** like that. Another older guy is always getting mad that we make a mess of the grill by putting BBQ sauce on the meat while it's on the grill. He says it makes a mess and you can put it on after the food is cooked. I would rather not BBQ than do that. You use the fire and heat to infuse the BBQ sauce into the meat. And you simply turn the grill on and burn everything off prior to the next use. We're always arguing about washing chicken off, they claim it should be rinsed off, I ask why I should wash all the flavor away when it's getting cooked, and it's a white people thing to eat steaks rare/med rare and unwashed chicked. I don't know where the regions are that white people dont use seasoning. Brentwood or something? Is it a medwest thing? The area I live in we invented Buffalo Wings, Chivettas. I go through 2 gallons of Frank's a year. There's people of every color that don't use seasoning or know how to cook, yet apparently it's only white people now.
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onjit04/07/2019
You know Paris, France? In English, it's pronounced "Paris" but everyone else pronounces it without the "s" sound, like the French do. But with Venezia, everyone pronouces it the English way: "Venice". Like 'The Merchant of Venice' or 'Death in Venice'. WHY, THOUGH!? WHY ISN'T THE TITLE DEATH IN VENEZIA!?ARE YOU **** KIDDING ME!? IT TAKES PLACE IN ITALY, SO USE THE ITALIAN WORD, DAMMIT! THAT **** **** ME OFF! BUNCH OF ****!
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zonii04/14/2019
You idiot. Simpleton. Low-IQ cockroach. How dare you not get my joke? I have spent years, decades, studying comedic theory to master the craft of making people laugh. You have insulted me and brought dishonor to my bloodline. My career is now in shambles because of you. You have ruined me. My days of being an internet funny man are no more. I can no longer sustain my family. This calls for a punishment of the highest degree. Since you have shamed me in front of the masses, I shall do the same to you. And all I need to do is utter three simple syllables. R. Slash. Woosh. Good luck recovering from that.
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Vitus04/14/2019
edit** on......... jan 22th 2019!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

okay just ignore that and all of this. if you're looking for "sticky", then you've **** found him -- you can go and add me now. but, honestly, don't like really being called that anymore. just call me libre or, well, uh, you know who you are, clem.

but, uh, you're free to add me if you wish. i'll probably accept without any issues, but there's a big ol chance that i'll probably remove you soon soon soon after accepting. my friends list just looks nicer without random people that, chances are, i may literally never talk to ever again cluttering my friends list. unless, of course, i think you're a pretty rad individual.

also, if you **** loathe small-talk as much as i do and i'm not finding myself celebrating the year **** anniversery of our very first and ONLY conversation ever, then i think we're going to get along just fine. just please don't think talking about the **** weather or asking me how my day was or just **** is a necessary first step to starting a conversation with me. just be forward about whatever you have to say -- trust me, throwing shade at me doesn't USUALLY** seriously offend me. in fact, the chances are **** high that i'll agree **** profoundly on any criticism directed at me -- unless it's just blatantly wrong and based on highly warped/exaggerated and/or false information which, in that case, i probably will get pretty **** defensive about it unless obvious epic trolle.


Brain in a jar04/14/2019
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onjit04/18/2019
If someone were to disrespact my doter like you just disrespacted that guy's doter, they'd be breathing through a different hole (most likely the one through which puup comes out). Consider yourself lucky that you didn't do that to Sal Bundry's doter.

COMMENT ALTERATION #☝️: thank you for the recognition, frends. It's great to know that a true Legend of Football like myself (5 touchdowns in 1 game in high school) is being recognized for his achievements, which are vital to culture and the progression of mankind. Keep up those uploads, never get married, and keep playing football! Whoooooooooooa Bundry!
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pingo05/08/2019
Death Grips have the worst **** fanbase of any /mu/core band. This is only challenged by Grimes but her fandom mainly consists of depressed weebs who want a waifu, as opposed to DG whose fans are depressed weebs who who loves memes think that listening to vaguely noisy hip hop gives them any sort of unique taste or authority when talking about music. I kind of feel bad for them, Death Grips. Imagine oweing most of your success to someone as stupid and tasteless as Anthony Fantano. Having to feign appreciation and gratitude towards someone whose spent the past 10 years growing a fanbase of stunted meme-spouting manchildren who think his opinions are of any value. Like imagine having 80% of your fanbase be spillover from a youtube music reviewer who makes le epic ironic meme videos. It is because of this I have sympathy for them, even pity. Hopefully they do something so outlandish that it shakes off all of the pseuds and posers who have glommed onto them because of memes and a lack of identity. Or will they be left in the dust bin once the next big meme group comes along? I might not be a fan of them, but I will definitely be watching from the sidelines, waiting for the day that they may be free of the hell they've created for themselves.
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onjit05/19/2019
**** those sugar free gummy bears. One super bowl Sunday a couple of years ago my wife found two smallish packages of them in a drawer and asked if I wanted them. Well, of course I did, I have a sweet tooth and love gummy bears. Sometime after lunch I opened up the first package and went to town. I did notice they tasted a little off but thought since we'd had them a while they might have turned a little bit. It doesn't bother me and I finish the bag of chewy goodness in no time. An hour or two goes by and I think I might as well eat this other package before making the hors d'oeuvres for the game. Again, they tasted a little different but by now, this wasn’t a surprise. I finish the second bag and start working on the food for later that night. Now, I'm feeling fine as I start to prepare the food but before long I begin to feel a little bit ill. I was thinking maybe the smell of the chicken I was preparing didn't quite sit right so I grabbed a glass of water and took a break. I drink the water, believing that my upset stomach would pass in a few minutes. This was not the case. Within moments of putting my glass down the gurgling in my stomach started. Now, this wasn't my first rodeo and I knew gurgling meant trouble was a-brewin' but I've been in this situation before, no need to panic. I begin preparing myself for the **** storm that was about to occur still having no inclination of the events that would transpire. I can only imagine that the large glass of water I just drank reacted with the demon gummy bears and went right through me. The gurgling in my tummy was not like those from earlier experience because from the time I stood up to the time I took just a few steps toward the bathroom my situation went from a code yellow to code holy **** **** I'm about to vomit out my ****. I clenched my sphincter with all my might and sort of hop-ran the rest of the way to the bathroom.
The torrent of liquid hell that came out of me was pretty frightening. What started as a normal belly ache, not moments before, ended with me questioning the existence of god. I do not know where all the liquid came from but I felt like a sponge being wrung out. Every ounce of liquid in my body was now a slurry coating the inside of the toilet. I think I was in shock but I remember feeling hot and cold at the same time. My face was flushed but my cheeks were red and I thought that it could be the end for me. Clearly this was not normal, what I had just experienced had to mean death was around the corner. Each subsequent round of liquid poo got less and less violent and the color began returning to my face. I had no idea how long I'd been in the bathroom, it could have been 3 minutes or 3 hours. As my comprehension returned and I started to feel somewhat human again. Turns out the warning label on the package of candy was the real deal and I should have been more cautious. That was the last time I intentionally ate anything that was sugar free.
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onjit06/18/2019
my review of ihop:
Not sure what to expect from a chain restaurant. Food is mediocre, service is mediocre, atmosphere is loud and greasy.

I swear, they put like a whole stick of butter in all of their foods. I'm not sure why it's so oily. Even the eggs were oily. There has to be some sort of regulation against how much grease an establishment can pump into their customers. This is probably why the United States has an obesity epidemic.

On the off-times that I DO head here, I typically get the Chicken Florentine Crepe, which was decent. And greasy. Then they changed the recipe and replaced the hollandaise with some sort of cheese-based sauce? I can't even tell.

The pancakes are arguably the one thing you should look forward to when visiting this place, which makes sense judging from their name. They're fluffy and tastes alright when microwaved.

Also, it would be a good decision not to order their fruit salad. The entire thing tastes like sour pineapple. How do you make a grape taste like sour pineapple?
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pingo06/19/2019
why do you hurt me so? what is your motive? time and time again you perform this action, oblivious of its consequences. do you find it humorous? comedic? do you participate in these masochistic acts because of pleasure or because you inherit soulless intent? do you treat your parents the same way? do you arrive home, arms full of personal items, and shout, "PAIN GO HITS" with your lips in a cursed grin? and do you laugh as the warm colors slip from your mother's skin, your father's eyes wincing in despair? do you wish to see the world thrown into chaos? do you imagine the urban walls repeatedly plastered with "PAIN GO HITS" as the methodical drones of civilization carry on their duties, brainwashed by your tyrannical ideology? i will never understand how people act in such senseless manners. psychopaths litter our society, and you are part of the problem.
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onjit06/19/2019
I **** hate Stuart Little. I know what you’re thinking, this is some kind of funny joke, but no. Stuart Little is a piece of ****. A damn rat got picked over actual children at an orphanage and he’s supposed to be a hero? And I can’t even tell you how many damn times I’ve seen a great parking space only to turn the corner and realise Stuart Little is already parked there in his stupid little **** convertible. He took my wife and the kids and my house and my job. I swear to **** god, I’m going to kill myself and take that goddamn rodent to hell with me. Stuart Little has ruined my family. Last summer, I approached the miserable mouse in the street, and asked him for his autograph, because my son is a huge fan. The **** rat gave me the autograph and told me to burn in hell. Later, when I gave my son the autograph he started crying and said he hated me. Turns out the **** didnt write his autograph, no, he wrote “you’re a piece of ****, and i **** your mom”. I’m now divorced, and planning a huge class-action lawsuit against the white devil that ruined my life. Your time is almost over, Stuart. All the people you’ve wronged will rise against you.
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Helist06/27/2019
Okay, we need to talk. I've been noticing that you're an **** to me, and I'm really curious as to why you just keep insulting me almost every single time we're both in chat, even though I haven't done anything. And it's getting really obnoxious now. If it were once or twice I wouldn't mind, but every single time gets on my nerves. So tell me why you have a thing against me, because I'd really like to know.
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Helist07/24/2019
This is a **** video to some fat **** on YouTube, named Boogie2988. Now, I'm tired of this fat **** popping up on all my **** search engines when I'm looking for a **** workout video. I don't give a **** about the aftermath from any of you Boogie fans that feel sorry for this greasy ****. You fat **** disgusting **** smelling. Blob. Cheese drinking. Crisco bathing. Lard gargling. Calorie thieving. 'Cabbage-Patch' face having. Dr.Robotnik looking. WingStop eating. McDonalds gorging. T-Rex arm having. Non-vegetable eating. Cook on a George Foreman grill just to drink out the drip tray. Wide Load. Hungry Hungry Hippo. Planet. Pretending to have a **** thyroid problem. Whale/ Free Willy. Part Bus. Yokozuna. Flubber. Kirby. Salad Dodger. Chair Crusher. Butterball. Go to Subway but put everything on it. Michelin Man. Happy because Hostess is back in business ****. I know there is gonna be alot of people out there calling me a bully. Well guess what, I'm not. I just don't feel sorry for fat **** people especially fat **** who sit there all day, gorge and eat, and make money for doing absolutely nothing, while a bunch of sorry **** like yourself play into it. You don't like what the **** I'm saying, then **** you.
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onjit07/29/2019
I don't know why it is that these things bother me---it just makes me picture a seven year old first discovering things about an animal and, having no context about the subject, ranting about how stupid they are. I get it's a joke, but people take it as an actual, educational joke like it's a man yelling at the sea, and that's just wrong. Furthermore, these things have an actual impact on discussions about conservation efforts---If every time Koalas get brought up, someone posts this copypasta, that means it's seriously shaping public opinion about the animal and their supposed lack of importance.

Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their **** lives.

Non-ecologists always talk this way, and the problem is you’re looking at this backwards.

An entire continent is covered with Eucalyptus trees. They suck the moisture out of the entire surrounding area and use allelopathy to ensure that most of what’s beneath them is just bare red dust. No animal is making use of them——they have virtually no herbivore predator. A niche is empty. Then inevitably, natural selection fills that niche by creating an animal which can eat Eucalyptus leaves. Of course, it takes great sacrifice for it to be able to do so——it certainly can’t expend much energy on costly things. Isn’t it a good thing that a niche is being filled?
Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death This applies to all herbivores, because the wild is not a grocery store—where meat is just sitting next to celery.

Herbivores gradually wear their teeth down—carnivores fracture their teeth, and break their bones in attempting to take down prey.

They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal

It's pretty typical of herbivores, and is higher than many, many species. According to Ashwell (2008), their encephalisation quotient is 0.5288 +/- 0.051. Higher than comparable marsupials like the wombat (~0.52), some possums (~0.468), cuscus (~0.462) and even some wallabies are <0.5. According to wiki, rabbits are also around 0.4, and they're placental mammals.

additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons.

Again, this is not unique to koalas. Brain folds (gyri) are not present in rodents, which we consider to be incredibly intelligent for their size.

If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food.

If you present a human with a random piece of meat, they will not recognise it as food (hopefully). Fresh leaves might be important for koala digestion, especially since their gut flora is clearly important for the digestion of Eucalyptus. It might make sense not to screw with that gut flora by eating decaying leaves.

Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal.

That's an extremely weird reason to dislike an animal. But whilst we're talking about their digestion, let's discuss their poop. It's delightful. It smells like a Eucalyptus drop!
Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here).

Marsupial milk is incredibly complex and much more interesting than any placentals. This is because they raise their offspring essentially from an embryo, and the milk needs to adapt to the changing needs of a growing fetus. And yeah, of course the yield is low; at one point they are feeding an animal that is half a gram!

When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system.

Humans probably do this, we just likely do it during childbirth. You know how women often **** during contractions? There is evidence to suggest that this innoculates a baby with her gut flora. A child born via cesarian has significantly different gut flora for the first six months of life than a child born vaginally.

Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher.

Chlamydia was introduced to their populations by humans. We introduced a novel disease that they have very little immunity to, and is a major contributor to their possible extinction. Do you hate Native Americans because they were killed by smallpox and influenza?
This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree,

Almost every animal does this.

which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I **** hate them.

Errmmm.. They have protection against falling from a tree, which they spend 99% of their life in? Yeah... That's a stupid adaptation.
===== (in response to the "koalas suck" pasta)

onjit09/05/2019
SHUT UP!!! SHUT THE **** UPP!!!!! WHY CAN'T I HAVE A BRIEF, MOMENTARY LAPSE OF SILENCE JUST FOR ONE MINUTE!!! ONE!!! ****!!! MINUTE!!! HOLY ****!!!!! YOU **** PEOPLE!!! YOU **** ANIMALS!!!! EVERY **** DAY YOU JUST SCREAM AND SHOUT LIKE A BUNCH OF **** BABIES!!! **** BABIES!!! GROW THE **** UP!!!! HOLY ****!!!! IF DONALD TROMP ALLOWED CHILD ABUSE I WOULD **** ABUSE THE **** OUT OF ALL YOU BABIES!!!! I WOULD **** ABUSE YOU!!!! SHUT THE **** UP!!!!
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onjit09/11/2019
So. I was over at a friends house chilling and she had a sequin covered drawer. So as a joke I drew a swastika. Y'know. Like i do. She takes it as a joke and we all laugh ha ha. She posts it on her snapchat. One of my bosses bfs sees it and goes **** ballistic claiming how I'm a nazi and how I dont deserve to work at chipotle because of my views. He wanted to come into my work and yell at me. Did I mention I converted to Judaism and that wasn't good enough apparently. Also "how I dont deserve to work at chipotle" it's a **** chain restaurant you absolute pathetic excuse for a cumstain. Anyways enough about me being a nazi anyone wanna play minecraft?
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Bimps09/15/2019
Oh my god CAN SOMEBODY JUST TELL ME HOW TO GET RID OF MY **** SIDE FAT? Jesus **** christ why did you wait 5 hours to reply to the thread?
>rEaD tHe StIcKy
I've read it three **** times already. I'm not **** reading it again. I've jumped through all the **** retarded hoops with honest hard work and I'm shaped like a **** hot pocket, either tell me what I'm doing wrong or don't ever **** say that being fit is just a choice BECAUSE I'M BUSTING MY **** **** AT 3 AM FOR TWO HOURS AFTER A FULL SHIFT EVERY NIGHT SO I CAN GET 5 HOURS OF SLEEP FOR **** NOTHING

Just tell me what I need to do and I'll **** do it. Do I cut fat? Try to build mass? WHAT DO I DO. I have everything I eat under a **** microscope, I have this **** in a **** excel spreadsheet. I ate an 800 calorie surplus when I was trying to bulk up, which did **** nothing except make me slightly pudgier. So now what? Same ****? Come back here in 3 months and be told I'm lying and not working out? The **** is this, autism court? I didn't make this thread and take a picture of myself just to lie to a bunch of asswipes that I'll never **** meet.
>DuUuUuUhhHhh u noT tRyiEng
**** I work all **** day, get home at 2 AM and work out for a couple hours, then do another hour of stretches to fix my pelvic tilt DONT **** TELL ME I DONT **** WORK OUT

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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onjit02/20/2019
forgive english, i am Russia.

i come to study clothing and fashion at American university. i am here little time and i am very hard stress. i am gay also and this very difficult for me, i am very religion person. i never act to be gay with other men before. but after i am in america 6 weeks i am my friend together he is gay also. He was show me American fashion and then we are kiss.

We sex together. I never before now am tell my mother about gay because i am very shame. As i fock this American boy it is very good to me but also i am feel so guilty. I feel extreme guilty as I begin orgasm. I feel so guilty that I pick up my telephone and call Mother in Russia. I awaken her. It too late for stopping so I am cumming sex. I am very upset and guilty and crying, so I yell her, "I AM CUM FROM SEX" (in Russia). She say what? I say "I AM CUM FROM SEX" and she say you boy, do not marry American girl, and I say "NO I AM CUM FROM SEX WITH MAN, I AM IN ****, I CUM IN ****" and my mother very angry me. She not get scared though.

I hang up phone and am very embarrass. My friend also he is very embarrass. I am guilt and feel very stupid. I wonder, why do I gay with man? But I continue because when it spurt it feel very good in American ****.
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zonii02/21/2019
**** Mathas. How could anyone get off to the idea of removing his red shirt and licking his pale body all over, nibbling his neck and kissing his adorable little nipples? Only a heartless monster would think about his manly bearded mouth and tongue wrapped around a thick **** slick with his saliva, pumping in and out of his mouth until it erupts. The idea of thick viscous semen overflowing, dribbling down his chin over his flat chest, his gamer hands scooping it all up and watching him suck it off his fingertips is just horrible. You're all a bunch of sick perverts, thinking of spreading his smooth strong thighs, **** poised at the entrance to his pure, tight, ****. I am disgusted at how you'd get even more excited as you lean over him, listening to his quickening breath, his weak moans and gasps while you hasten your strokes, his sweet pants warm and moist on your face and his manly chest, shiny with a sheen of fresh sweat, rising and falling rapidly to meet yours. It is truly nasty how you'd run your hands all over his gamer body while you violate him, feeling his nipples hardening against your tongue as you lick his chest and his neck, savouring the scent of his skin and sweat while he trembles from the stimulation and as he reaches his climax. hearing him cry out softly as he orgasms while that **** is buried deep inside him, pulsing violently as an intense amount of hot cum spurts forth and floods through his freshly gaped boy hole, filling him up only to spill out of him with a sickening squelch.

onjit02/22/2019
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onjit03/11/2019
We goin on a. Brotherhunt. With My friend. Jeffrey. We went to the. Lobby and bought. all the candy. It cost a. Pretty penny. The lady at the. hotel looked at us and. I thought she was going to call the. Manager for buying all the. Candy but she just looked at. Us that's all she did. Jeffrey also bought all the. Liquor and that's when she. Asked what we were. Doing and I said. **** **** Balls in front of. a family checking in I didn't know. They were there. And the father gave me. A cold hard stare. And I felt my balls. Spring up into my. Crotch Jeffrey and I went back. Upstairs and. Ate all the candy and. Drank all the liquor but before I. Knew it. I was back outside with my friend Jeffrey. Because We goin on a. Brotherhunt
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Olive Man03/19/2019
I am short but i am big cums to my **** its a thick mushroom but every think big i hold juniar high in gym some sead i big one then so think it changed that much.
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onjit03/22/2019
thugs on bulge Uuu! Oh! I'm sorry mom! I-I-I can't cum on this... I can't... I won't... uuuh... Uw... No! I'm a cumming freak d-damn-!! stops and **** bulge Uw... I'm just so horny!! What? Wait! Let me just keep watching it... <Giggle> Hey daddy daddy... giggles OH! OH! OH MY GOD! What's happening... uw? U w-why don't we just go inside? giggles OH MY GOD. giggles You're cumming.. OH MY GOD. giggles AH! I don't know why you're so hard... I don't know why... but I don't want you to be cumming on me or anything. Can one of you just go inside? OH MY GOD. giggles Oh! pops mouth Yeah. giggles OH! I'm so excited for that big fat **** that's waiting for me on the bed in the morning dUhhh... I'm so hard.. I love it... <blowjob as sounds appropriate> Oh.. yes! I love this throbbing ****.. <shudder> ohhhh ohhh ohhhhh **** it feels so good! (****) sounds of penetration sounds OH MY GOD! Uwaay! OH MY GOD! OH YES! OH MY GOD! OH OH YES! OH NO! OH YES! OH YES! OH YES! OH NO! OH YES! OH NO! OH YES! OH YES! giggles OH NO! YES! OH NO! OH YES! I want you to cum in my tummy... (kiss and moan to orgasm with moans in each mouth>) Daddy! *sings noises like the end of a ****> Oh my God. (giggles) It feels so good! Oh, god yes! Oh daddy! oh no! chuckle noises in pleasure U-um! UwAAAAAH! OH YEAH! giggles OH NO! *improv to orgasm noises for 10-15 minutes> OH OH MY GOD OH YAAH! UWAH! Uhh! OH MY GOD OH YAAAAM! giggles giggles Oh it's so big I have to gag and gag
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onjit04/04/2019
****? In my gucci socks??
With your fat **** fortnite ****?? Your fat juicy thick wet filling pulsating fortnite ****??? In my ****?? My ****???? Its more likely than you think, hm

Buy the new Fortnite Season Pass or I'll break your **** knee caps
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onjit04/08/2019
I never wanted to breed with anyone more than I want to with The Great Carp. That perfect, colorful body. Those bountiful whiskers. The egg laying anus of a literal goddess. It honestly **** hurts knowing that I'll never mate with her, pass my genes through her eggs, and have a set of perfect fry with her. I'd do **** ANYTHING for the chance to fertilize The Great Carp's eggs. A N Y T H I N G. And the fact that I can't is quite honestly too much to **** bear. Why would Hidetaka Miyazaki create something so perfect? To **** tantalize us? **** laugh in our faces?! Honestly guys, I just **** can't anymore. ****.
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Brain in a jar04/09/2019
what is cbt?
Well I’m glad you asked. **** and ball torture (also know as CBT) is a sexual activity involving torture of the male genitals. This may involve directly painful activities, such as wax play, genital spanking, squeezing, ball-busting, genital flogging, urethral play, tickle torture, erotic electrostimulation or even kicking. The recipient of such activities may receive direct physical pleasure via masochism, through knowledge that the play is pleasing to a sadistic dominant. Image: Electrostimulation applied on a ****.

zonii04/09/2019
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Vitus04/14/2019
My **** is of sufficient size for two of its three basic biological purposes: urination and insemination. For the third basic purpose, delivering pleasurable sensation during vaginal penetrative intercourse, it is of far less than ideal size. Its usual flaccid length is about 1 inch (2.5 cm), but it retracts completely into my body during a swim or other exercise, or under my pants when outside in cold weather. Erect length is 2 3/4 inches (7 cm), on a good day, and not thick.

In the fateful lottery of life, my ****-size ticket turned out to be a ticket stub. The rest of me is of normal size, but my **** and scrotum are a tiny matched-set that never grew.

onjit04/14/2019
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Vitus04/18/2019
I just successfully deepthroated a **** for the first time. I'm a straight male. (From r/confessions)
So a few weeks ago I ordered a **** on Amazon to use on my girlfriend. I really wasn't quite sure what to expect, and when it showed up it was a lot more wiggly than I expected so I had a lot of fun just waving it around. After I did that for a bit and tried (and failed) to do a bottle flip style thing to have it suction on the counter, I got to wondering how far I could take it in my mouth? Girls do it all the time, it couldn't be that hard (haha).

I was quite disappointed in the results (like 3 or 4 inches).

I told my girlfriend about it and she thought it was funny, then tried herself and only made it an inch or two further than I could! For some reason this sparked my competitive side.

For the past few weeks I've been brushing my tongue every day moving a bit further back each time. About an hour ago I decided to try it out again and see if I could actually deepthroat this **** to a respectable degree, and I took the ENTIRE thing! This 7.5" ****!

Jen, if you see this: I won.

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onjit04/20/2019
I'm so **** horny for art hoes. I want to **** a coked-out tumblr hipster DIY aesthetic astrology thot in her lip gloss DSL mouth. I want to cum all over a girl with thick frame glasses and edge dyed bobcat bangs. Everytime I hear a THICK, waist-high-jean-clad braindead choker-wearing slutty wiccan minx say "yikes", "y'all", "big mood", "cancelled" or "this is a bop", I get an uncontrollable urge to run up to her and fondle her d cups and sweaty fat thighs. I want to pour my white olive oil onto her contoured cheeks and neotenous faces and rhinoplatisized nose. I want to finger an art hoe through her jean overalls while pretending to be interested as she talks about van gogh and arctic monkeys and how david foster wallace fans suck and gilles deleuze and VICE news and 'union pool' in williamsburg and steven universe and homeopathy and saveur magazine and taking adder all to pass exams. I'm. SO. ****. Horny
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onjit04/23/2019
I spend 5 hours masturbating before my prostate exams. I edge, and edge and edge, until a butterfly sneezing on my taint could bring me to orgasm. I tactfully shuffle my way down to the doctor's office and when he lubes up I nearly cum every time. But I've trained my keggle muscles enough to the point where I can hold in Mount Vesuvius' wrath. Then as soon as he puts the smallest bit of pressure on my prostate I unleash with the fury of a lion hunting its prey. As the room gets covered in my hot sticky juices the doctor looks on disgusted and leaves the room. I always go to a hospital far away from where I live to get it so that I don't have to go in for surgery under the doctor that I busted to. Best thing is we have free healthcare here, so the doctor gets me off and it's covered by taxpayers. That's my fetish.
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kkay04/23/2019
For the past few days i have been trying a new way of masturbating, basically i roll up a towel with a latex glove inside and cum in it, i gotta say it works very well, the only downside is that i didn't know where to hide the cum gloves, so i just stashed them under the bed to throw away at a later date.
I wasn't really worried about my mom finding them because usually she never enters my room but today she decided it would be nice of her to clean my room while i was away.
When i got home and entered my room i immediately knew i **** up, i rushed to the bed and checked under it... ALL THE CUM GLOVES WERE GONE.
There must have been 5-6 gloves filled with man juice and i can only imagine her reaction when she found them.
Soon after she called me because lunch was ready but i made up an excuse and just said i wasn't feeling well, i haven't left my room since. She knoked on my door a couple of times to see if i was ok and i just told her i had an headache and wanted to be left alone.
I spent the whole day in my room and only drank tap water and ate leftover chips. Tomorrow i'm gonna have to leave the room and i don't know what the **** to do.

onjit04/23/2019
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Dethmstr04/26/2019
i wanna **** Garfield. i wanna cum on Garfield. i wanna put my **** inside of Garfield's ****. Ive dreamed of doing weird **** with Garfield since I was 13. The first time I masturbated, I thought of all the times I saw Garfield's thick **** in the funnies. It's a shame that Garfield got skinnier but at least he's not a skinny little ****. When I get the chance, I will feed Garfield drugged lasagna and wait for him to wake up. If he runs away, it will only make my hunt for his **** even more rewarding. I dont care if Jon will scream and call the cops on me because Garfield and me are forever. As long as I have access to some form of Garfield media, I will be in heaven.

Helist04/26/2019
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kkay04/29/2019
Seriously? After 20 minutes of getting to choke this gorgeous girl with his ****, two little poots of cum is all he could manage? Pathetic. I registered an account just so I could leave this comment in hopes he sees it one day. Fronting like you're some alpha male, while Elizabeth is performing her heart out, and what do you give her? Two tiddlywinks of cum? I've never felt so personally offended by **** before. You're a real ****, pal.

zonii04/29/2019
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rainbow05/08/2019
**** are so cute omg(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄) when you hold one in your hand and it starts twitching its like its nuzzling you(/ω\) or when they perk up and look at you like" owo nya? :3c" hehe ~ ****-kun is happy to see me!!(^ワ^)
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pingo05/08/2019
It's nice to meet you, but it's even better to meet me. My name is SniperSmurf. I have 290 hours with Bastion in total and I specialize in sticking it straight up their **** culo. Bastion is a way of life for me. Go in there, I bend them over, I open their cheeks nice and wide. I get a nice clear view of the colon, prostate, and the coccyx; and I knuckle **** them all the way up to the palm, right up the butt **** so they feel a burning sensation deep in the **** **** like icy hot. Bastion is a way of life for me, I've never changed my character, **** you. If at any point during the match you want me to change characters, I gladly suggest you go **** yourself. I follow absolutely no type of team composition. If you want to give orders, give them to each other, don't you dare bring that **** to me. All I know how to do is go in there, get a lot of poo poo on my peter, and a lot of **** on my **** from sticking it straight up their ****. Now let's go team.
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Helist05/13/2019
I can't believe how sexy jidril is.. she was naked before and she was so horny.. she was so **** wet.. she is so perfect

I'm ready for it my friend.. do you wanna come?

my **** is still hard.. this is not how I intended this .. its a turn on with your cum.. **** yes.. it is so hot.. you did it to me.. **** me harder your cum inside me..

I'm getting down.. your cum is amazing.. and I can feel myself getting close.. don't stop now you have to cum.. cum deep inside me.. my hole.. I'm so wet.. my **** will open up for you.. I think that you should cum.. I think it made you cum too.. that it was you who made my hole open up for you.. you're cumming inside me.. and I can feel you cum inside me.. (groan) yes .. my **** feels so very wet.. you took my virginity just like jidric

you just had my virginity.. and my **** feels like it has never been licked with your **** before..
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Vitus05/13/2019
**** are so cute omg! OwOoOoo, I love your **** and your ****. I'm so excited! How's that guy? He's cute and all so I'm excited too, aren't I? Oh my god, it feels so good. You're so hard, it hurts, but I'm going to ride you as I moan. (moans) Oh god yes. Yes. I'm going to cum so hard. There it is. Do you want me to give you a blowjob too? Or blowjob my big sister's ****? (whisper) You're so perfect! Thank you!! (giggles) It feels so good. I love being **** like you. Yes, that's so sexy. But wait, there's more to your **** than meets the eye. You're really thick but I've never seen you like this. (giggle) You're so **** thick! Do you have a ****? (moans and loud gagging) It feels so good! It's so much thicker and round! Oh god...that feels amazing....but it's all my
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Tykki5205/13/2019
haha, yes", I chuckled myself as I posted the single letter "h" for the tenth time today. The chatroom filled with joy and applause, as I slowly took off my pants, dropped my clothes, unbuttoned my pants, exposing my lovely ****. My fingers ran all over my clitoris, teasing my clit for a good 10 minute while I got on the head of the bed.

My mouth was open wide and I felt a warm and inviting breath from him. He pulled me slowly out from the bed and laid down on the bed next to me, as if I could do anything I wanted. I was lying naked and he undressed me slowly, with my body stretched forward as I rubbed my **** together before putting his tongue down my **** lips. He sucked and licked and fondled my lovely wet clit, getting closer to giving himself a nice wet mouthful of my juices from my leaking ****. For a second it was hot and heavy, but it didn't go away. I was finally aroused, and I eagerly took him from behind and kissed him deeply, before pulling him naked to the bedside
@Vitus

Vitus05/13/2019
Read the one above too
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Tykki5205/13/2019
Wtf the bot is WILD

onjit05/25/2019
he~yaa ^^ im your server today and what would you like toda~ay ^u^ YEAH thats thats what im saying pancakes is what you want ( ^-^)旦” whats that? you don't want pancakes? well i didn't quite he~ar that i think you said you wanted pancakes (^&^)且 here is your pancake ma~ster! uguu 且(゚◇゚)ノ i hope you li~i~ike them ... ( ´・ω・`)_且 <3
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Vitus05/26/2019
At the end of Endgame, Thanos agrees to undo everything he's done if the Avengers can beat him in a **** measuring contest, but none of the Avengers even came close. Even the Hulk is shorter than Thanos by a noticeable amount, and their girth isn't even comparable. That's when, at the last moment, Captain Marvel pulls down her pants and unleashes the phattest hawg the universe has ever seen. Shamed by her size, Thanos undoes all that he has done, and then commits Japanese ritual suicide. He is buried under an unmarked grave in area 51.
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Vitus07/14/2019
I really want to smell this old man’s farts. Just let me slide my nose up his wrinkly crusty old rectum, feeling him clench and squeeze my nostrils together, and then inhale deeply as he blows a fat wet one on my face. I would probably cum instantly. His **** cheeks would clap against the sides of my head, my body would contort as I **** in my jeans, and I’d hopefully get a hairy dingleberry or two stuck to my face. What a thrill it would be.
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onjit07/30/2019
**** is gay. Whenever you let those deuces loose, it stretches out your ****. What else forces your anus open? **** does. It's literally the same **** thing, but the penetration is reversed. Excrement is, simply put, its own natural single-use ****. Because I am a straight man, I always induce diarrhea whenever I am able to. This way, I am simply urinating out of my butt instead of committing sin. Taking a leak out of a rather unnatural place is better than being a homosexual, after all. **** isn't gay.
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UnableToAssume07/31/2019
This should be self explanatory but apparently I have to justify myself.

There's nothing more feminine than using a product on your body. Makeup is 100% feminine and by the same logic, so is wiping your ****. I haven't wiped my **** in about 4 years and i've NEVER had any issues. My digestive system is in the top 1% in terms of regularity, functionality, and performance and I've never once felt the need to "clean up" after myself.

If you **** and you need to wipe, you've got an emasculated GI tract and that's your own issue. Man up and get your **** (literally) together

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UnableToAssume08/04/2019
Oh I'm sorry snowflake, did I OFFEND you? Do you want a bandaid? Do you want a hug? Do you want a kiss? I will kiss you. I will do it. Right on the mouth. Come here snowflake.. that's it.. your lips are so soft, snowflake.. mnnhm... ah...... snowflake..........

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UnableToAssume08/09/2019
Come on, y’all know that feeling when ur watching the gymnastics section with ur family and your sister gets all judgey like “why are you wearing a blanket even though it’s late July?” And “what’s that meat slapping noise” stfu sis gotta get my rocks off somehow

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onjit08/12/2019
᠎The problem with having thick and syrupy semen is that you don't shoot as far as the runny shooters. You could have super thick, globby, slime-like semen that moves entirely with your finger but you will never be able to shoot as far as someone with a thin, runny, watery reservoir of water-semen that shoots out like a hose, the first shot of which containing so much distance it goes across the room and to the wall - it's that watery. Meanwhile your thick, syrupy cum slobber goes a foot or more at most. Meanwhile, your brother, who has a larger, and wider **** than you, fires thin, watery loads at least a few meters away. You'd think that the syrupy thick cum would be more in the end, but then you realize your brother makes at least 25 mL of cum spunk while you make only like 15 mL of thick baby syrup.
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onjit08/15/2019
I know what you mean. Our local library always had a waiting list for the new atlases, and you always had to open them with a good pair of rubber gloves because some bastard always came on the good maps before you got to them. The older maps were just disgusting with layers and layers of ****, but what else could you do? It's not like you weren't going to crank one out to the new Soviet borders after waiting 6 weeks for your turn. ****, I still remember when Kosovo came out in 2008. Some poor teenagers waited months to see the new Serbian border, but by the time they got the new atlas the pages were so soaked with unspeakable body fluids that you couldn't even make out the capital. When South Sudan split off in 2011 the library was so backed up that some of us started jacking off to globes, but for the most part that fad died off by the summer of 2012. You can still make some money selling old globes to collectors, but they've got to have some weird **** on them like The Democratic Republic Of Yemen (only lasted for 45 days in 1994), and to be honest most people don't get into anything that hard core.
Some people claim they can't get off without some violent annexing, but I think you'll find it's just teenagers pretending to be edgy on the internet. Most people are perfectly content to beat their meat to border changes that occur strictly through peaceful means, such as the purchase of Louisiana in 1803. Now of course with the internet people just spank it to Google maps in the privacy of their own homes. Nobody will appreciate how hard it was for teenagers to find good aerial photography of major cities in 1970. I think we all knew that **** who 'had an uncle' that did aerial photography, but he was full of ****. He was just stealing national geographics from his dad's collection like everyone else. Random side story. I used to date a girl in college that called her special area the 49th parallel. I could tell when she was in the mood because she'd ask if I was feeling British, since the only exception to the 49-degree line is that the British are allowed to swing south around Vancouver Island, if you know what I mean.
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onjit09/26/2019
I am from russia and 18 years old and my English is not so good, so don't be angry to me. When i was 15, or 16, i tried to suck my own **** when i was in tub,I couldn't do it, then i masturbet and tasted my semen. semen was bitter.
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GlobinLast Wednesday at 6:07 PM
The fact that anybody thinks “small ****” is an insult, is hilarious to me. I ****. That’s all that matters. I’m smart enough to get a woman to take me home. I don’t accept blowjobs. I don’t give head. We get right down to it.
Having a small **** and finishing fast hasn’t held me back whatsoever. The goal isn’t to show her a good time. The goal is to get my nut. So go ahead, make fun of my “small ****”. I guarantee I **** more than some guys with “big ****”.
I **** twice this month already. Busted within a minute both times. Haven’t spoken to either woman since. There are months where I **** like 4 new women. If I can manage to get hard, I’ll ****. If I can’t, I find a way to make the girl feel like it’s her fault. I’m good at this ****.
I like my life the way it is. I don’t need a big **** to satisfy ME. I’m already satisfied.
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onjit02/20/2019
Now taking applications for a gf. You must be: 1. Female 2. Age 16-23 3. Japanese (exceptions will be made for white girls if small and skinny) 4. Willing to do as I as I ask 5. Have an IQ lower than mine (113) 6. Have 0 male friends 7. Cook 3 meals for me a day 8. Be willing to split to bill on a date 9. Be into kinky stuff (Will discuss in PM) 10. Send me nudes every day I do not see you in person. 11. Have sex with me as I ask 12. Be on birth control (condoms make me feel trapped, I simply can't find anything that fits) 13. Ideally not have a job 14. Install a tracking app on your phone so that I know your location at all points
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onjit02/20/2019
One time my mom was taking me through the McDonalds drive-thru (we normally only eat fast food when we're on road trips) and I wanted the Happy Meal with the My Little Pony toy. Mind you, I'm a male so it's not typical for that to be the preference. The girl at the window didn't even ask what toy I wanted, I guess she just assumed I would want the DragonballZ figurine. I worked up the courage to ask my mother if I could have the pony toy and I'll never forget what she said to me. "Son, you're 25, you don't need a Happy Meal with a My Little Pony Toy."
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20/M Although religious, I'm an amicable lad who's studied in US, UK, and now Japan. I've travelled 15 countries. My first language is English, followed by Russian. I speak some Japanese, Turkish, Spanish, and long time ago used to be good at French but let go of it. I'm of somewhat similar but mixed race. My favourite cuisine is Italian. I appreciate the local culture more than the Western. From celebrities, I like Jordan Peterson and Tom Odell. Additionally, Stephen Fry. I've recently moved to Tokyo from N Kyushu and would love to discover rural areas of Kanto with Tokyoites but preferably residents and not travellers. I'm an ISFP, so nature is of paramount importance to me. I'm easily amazed by constellations, canyons, waterfalls, grassfields, and forests. I value modesty and patience. Also, I love peace, empathy, and psychology. M or F aged around 20-25 are welcome to PM me. Oh, and I'm going on to a one-week snowboard trip in a few days, feel free to join even if a beginner.
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onjit02/20/2019
i can't believe i peaked in highschool and had a gf and had ambition for the future but now i am a lonely single miserable boy who had to take a semester off from school and watches vines at 1 and 2 am and i dont even laugh and watch anime god damn i love anime
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onjit02/20/2019
Dude I **** the bed without drinking a bunch of water, I just can’t help myself I just always **** the bed. Even when I’m dehydrated I’ll **** blood, just cuz I can’t not **** the bed
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Olive Man02/26/2019
21 and Single White Male...
-Shy -Smart -Young at Heart -Computer skilled
-Humorous -A great thinker and go-getter -"Natural salesperson" -Enjoys good parts of life
-Diplomatic -Friendly -Loves his family -Peaceful -Very creative -He's lonely
...Seeking a CUTE 18-21 SINGLE ♀FEMALE♀ COMPANION
*18-21 years of age *does not already have a boyfriend *Single
-Average to Slender Weight/Body Type -White -Lives in Charolettesville or Ruckersville area
*Does NOT Smoke or Drink Alcohol -Happy, Positive Personality
*Average/High Income -Drives a vehicle
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onjit03/10/2019
I like killing people because it is so much fun it is more fun than killing wild game in the forrest because man is the most dangeroue anamal of all to kill something gives me the most thrilling experence it is even better than getting your rocks off with a girl the best part of it is thae when I die I will be reborn in paradice and thei have killed will become my slaves I will not give you my name because you will try to sloi down or atop my collectiog of slaves for my afterlife ebeorietemethhpiti
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onjit04/04/2019
Believe it or not there is nothing wrong with a little bit of poop.... it is minimally toxic.... we actually use small amounts periodically in our kids diets as we have read it makes their immune system stronger....kind of like eating dirt or putting a pacifier back in a babys mouth when fallen on the floor. We use about a tablespoon and add it to chili...the kids have no clue.
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pingo05/08/2019
I am not like any one of you. You see what they tell you to see. Feel what they want you to feel. You obey unconditionally. You wouldn't have it any other way. When you see a blank canvas, I see a beautiful painting. When you hear silence, I hear a symphony. I've learned that fire is cold and ice is hot, but I cannot feel. I have a thousand faces and many names. Accuser! Seducer! Destroyer! I am the reaper...
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pingo05/08/2019
hi very emotional and heartfelt poem. stable photographs words you painted. Confusion , isn't of God, that's in straightforward terms from guy/women. This typhoon will bypass, as different issues did on your life, others , and in mine . all of us understand we won't be able to assume a appropriate life , yet we ought to undergo our proportion, Of struggles and of strife, some says we won't be able to seek for each little thing, to paintings out quite all appropriate, with sunshine interior the sky all day,and silver stars at night, yet from time to time we ought to have a tear, a sorrow or be apologetic approximately, or some unlucky affairs,we want we could forget approximately, and so the appropriate that we can do , is you need to be arranged, for any unhappiness or, misery that should be shared , to bypass alongside from each and every day, with braveness at our side, and take in spite of occurs in , our common stride. from time to time those, we won't be able to stay without leaves yet we ought to locate the way, a thank you to moved on, that's not straightforward, yet we could make it as a results of fact of God grace. Be stable Dee , I choose you properly. i'm so sorry, God will under no circumstances fails us.
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Vitus05/12/2019
Here's the thing. You said a "trilby is a fedora." Is it in the same family? Yes. No one's arguing that. As someone who is an atheist who studies euphoria, I am telling you, specifically, in atheism, no one calls trilbys fedoras. If you want to be "specific" like you said, then you should too. They're not the same thing. If you're saying "fedora family" you're referring to the euphoric grouping of le reddit army, which includes things from neckbearded gentlesirs to highly intelligent intellectual like myself. So your reasoning for calling a trilby a fedora is because random people "say that only neckbeards wear fedoras?" Let's get Mountain Dew and Doritos in there, then, too

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Globin05/26/2019
wife's boyfriend??????? uuuuugh rolls eyes again and again with the ****, pulling that **** on me like that? literally no, just no, stop, JUST **** STOP GOD DAMN IT WHAT THE LITERAL ACTUAL: **** I AM DOEN WITH HIS **** RIGHTN OW AND I CAN"T **** SUT **** SATAY they are tbhey are ruining my lif //forums.everybodyedits.com/img/smilies/sad(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

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Борис07/03/2019
**** e-girls, I swear. 70% of them are absolute filth. No bath for at least a full week. Literal yeast cultures festering in between their friction burned labia, slathered in a gelatinous glob over a clit that looks like a year old eraser tip. Utter disgraces, scourges on society. Selling their reused bath water to incels, the contents fermenting in the water with the dead skin and other filth, turning into an alcoholic beverage by the time it arrives in the post; a hellish concoction like something out of a 15thC witchcraft recipe. "I'm baby" headass. "Daddy uwu" ****. Sick of it, mate, on god.
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Brain in a jar08/13/2019
nah im actually quite attractive (multiple women have told me this), i have great success with beautiful women. in fact i would happily post a picture of myself on here but unfortunately i live in a country where some of the things i have posted on this account are considered illegal or i would
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Bimps08/19/2019
M a my contact list is empty except my sister number i don't have facejew, ****, instacrap and i just use my phone to liste podcasts and read mangas also storage some "pictures" having a smartphone is useful i like to masturbate in the shower watching **** from mobile at ff7 gta san andreas sometimes watching a movie lying in my bad youtu.be videos etc
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onjit09/10/2019
Say, would you ladies like to learn something interesting? (School may not be in session, but that doesn't mean you can't learn! You see, there's something called the "post-ejaculatory refractory period", which is the recovery phase after orgasm during which it is physiologically impossible for a man to have additional orgasms." but GET THIS- there is NO such recovery phase when the male is introduced to a new female sexual partner immediately post-coitus. So, what I'm trying to say here is...well, I guess I'll have to dumb it down for you If the five of us hung out, then, well...we would have a pretty good time //forums.everybodyedits.com/img/smilies/wink
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onjit09/14/2019
Man screw these people sure incest is both hella wrong and hella gross but somewhere down the bloodlines every human has some ancestors that did incest. Still not endorsing incest because I would rather slit my throat than hook up with one of my relatives, but still you could always just say in the lore they weren't all related XD.
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Vitus09/27/2019
I just have seen your stream and wanted to say that I thought you were super adorable. you don't know me at all and I know it's kinda weird. I just thought maybe it'd be fun to roleplay with you as your online gf maybe? I know you're straight. I'm a boy that's why I was saying roleplay.. this isn't a troll. again, I know it's really random and weird. I'm sorry. It would just be a fun online relationship - nothing serious and I could donate to you and your stream and support you and just be here.
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Bimps09/28/2019
why do you want to lose weight yourte perfect hte way it is i would bend you over and **** you but never without asking you permission cause im a king of manliness but now tihout manners and youo d be my queen. seriously we have a connection we both go to these site which is for smart people its not only physical tough i love your body rawr
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onjit02/20/2019
If you want to speak to me, regardless of who you are I will answer you. If you do not respond to me when I accept your friend request and message "Can I help you" or "Do you need something" I will remove you within 5 minutes. If you are offline I will message you once we are both online at the same time and if you do not respond within 5 minutes I will remove you. I HIGHLY recommend you friend me when I am online. If you look like a nice person I might wait a little bit longer but don't expect it. I do not tolerate people who identify as anti-christian, anti-white, anti-republican, or bullies. I also don't create lasting friendships with the unreligious, homosexual, democrat, liberal, or dominant/self centered types of people. Do not judge me based on my cover profile, or anything you have heard about me (I'd like to know what it is you heard about me though). Thank you for being so understanding.
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A liberal muslim homosexual ACLU lawyer professor and abortion doctor was teaching a class on Karl Marx, known atheist

”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!”

At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL champion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decision made by the United States stood up and held up a rock.

”How old is this rock, pinhead?”

The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied “4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian”

”Wrong. It’s been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real… then it should be an animal now”

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Origin of the Species. He stormed out of the room crying those liberal crocodile tears. The same tears liberals cry for the “poor” (who today live in such luxury that most own refrigerators) when they jealously try to claw justly earned wealth from the deserving job creators. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, DeShawn Washington, wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and become more than a sophist liberal professor. He wished so much that he had a gun to shoot himself from embarrassment, but he himself had petitioned against them!

The students applauded and all registered Republican that day and accepted Jesus as their lord and savior. An eagle named “Small Government” flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The pledge of allegiance was read several times, and God himself showed up and enacted a flat tax rate across the country.

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.
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I honestly feel bad for the guy. I mean, I think he is getting what he deserves. But I have to wonder, the way he was bragging about it to the girl, why does it matter to him to be famous and have recognition for something so obviously stupid? What was missing in his life before this? How many other attempts at recognition did he attempt that were never acknowledged by the right people? What crayon drawings did he bring to his mother, only for her to tell him to put them in the trash? What bugs did he find in the yard that his father immediately crushed in front of him? How do you go so far down the trail of insecurity to the point that you base your own personal value on achievements like this? He's a menace. He's dangerous. If he stole my car and drove away like this with MY son in the backseat I would be furious and murder him on the spot. But that's because my son is the most important thing in the world to me. Who is this guy the most important thing in the world to? Anyone? Does he know it?
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zonii02/20/2019
I'm really tired of seeing people in chat upset and equivocate when the darker aspects of nations, often the U.S.A's, history get brought to light. Openly talking about the stuff that made the world a **** place, as well as why stuff like FDR's warmongering was dangerous and harmful, is important to ensure that we don't repeat our mistakes. Washing the ugliness of our history away is not only willfully ignorant, but also the first step towards committing more atrocities.
https://www.reddit.com/r/northernlion/c … ?context=3
reddit
r/northernlion - NLSTS Mega Thread [2019/02/19]
21 votes and 34 comments so far on Reddit


onjit02/20/2019
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onjit03/07/2019
my favourite thing about terrorism is how the imagined potential threat leads to a state of security and loss of freedoms that will forever escalate until we are no longer able to conduct free and open discourse without the fear of greater powers surveiling or  interfering with our basic human rights
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onjit03/13/2019
Kids, there's nothing more cool than being hugged by someone you like. But if someone tries to touch you in a place or in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable, that's no good! It's your body. No one has the right to touch you if you don't want them to. So what do you do? First, you say 'No!' Then, you gotta get outta there! Most important, you gotta tell someone you trust, like your parents, your teacher, a police officer.
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onjit03/19/2019
I once almost choked to death while eating food. I did my own research and discovered that I am not alone. Thousands of people choke every year while eating, and hundreds of those people die. That's why I don't feed my kids. It's dangerous. Now plenty of people will point out that food supposedly "prevents starvation," and that might be true, but it's not fair to completely ignore all the dangers food poses, like choking, allergies, gingivitis, and garlic breath. I'm just saying, do your own research and decide what you think is best for your kids. If you choose to give your kids potentially deadly food, that's your problem, but as a parent, I don't think the government has any right to tell me that I need to feed my kids.
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Helist04/06/2019
I have a little paragraph to say and I have a question at the end, I’ll make it concise, I’ll keep it under a minute. Seeing as Bonnell takes the modern “Eminem” approach of speed equals quality to debating, I’d like to take him up on something that I haven’t seen anyone else take him up on, which is his use of inductive reasoning as a euphemism for his guesses of what ideologies people that he doesn’t like are subscribed to because Nick Fuentes doesn’t think promoting miscegenation is “cool” and because he shared a couple of /pol/ memes about the holocaust which he has already clarified that he doesn't necessarily stand behind, and you're gonna flex your goatee musckles and let those words slither out of your dirty **** pedophile defending, divorce having, child abuse, leaving your kid behind mouth, calling him a Nazi and justifying violence against him. Regardless of what he said, I’ll kiss Nick in his mouth like St. Francis did to the Leper. But you, my friend, are partners and good friends with Hasan Piker, who believes that profit is theft, and that is essentially the “14 words” of the left wing, that is some **** Proudhon or Max Stirner would say. So I could do the exact same thing to you, and claim that because of evidence that I’ve decided is sufficient, I could say that because you think that my property can be taken from me for the greater good of society, that violence against you is justified. Listen, I might not be an 18 year old yet, but I don't think you'd have a problem with getting **** by a minor in front of an audience, and if you think violence against me is justified because I think a certain way, then I urge you to act it out. I have at least six inches on you, and by the time I'm done you'll have about six inches in you; underage, just how you like it https://wiki.everybodyedits.com/images/f/fe/Smiley_smiley .

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Talon05/27/2019
One of the most influential cartoons of the 21st century, centered on an energetic, anthropomorphic sea sponge (who more nearly resembles a kitchen sponge) and a diverse cast of his underwater friends, is decidedly one of the most politically ambiguous.
On the one hand, the series suggests that capitalists are inherently malign or simply obsessed with money, as the main character’s crustacean employer, the fast food restaurateur Mr. Krabs, is inclined to put money before others’ interests, sometimes at the expense of others’ well-being. In addition, SpongeBob and his dimwitted seastar best friend Patrick Star have a habit of annoying Squidward Tentacles, a grouchy octopus who lives between them, and tend to not face comeuppance for their childish actions (though there are exceptions), which may teach that being annoying is “acceptable” adult behavior. Specific episodes have controversial overtones, too. For instance, “Rock-a-Bye Bivalve” is infamous for depicting SpongeBob and his dimwitted seastar best friend Patrick Star raising a baby scallop like a homosexual couple. Moreover, one of the series’ worst-received episodes, “One Coarse Meal,” tries to make bullying look humorous because it centers on Mr. Krabs driving his microscopic arch business rival Plankton to suicide by appealing to the copepod’s secret fear of whales, a fear not present in any other episode. Worst of all, there is a theory that each of the seven main characters is modeled after one of the Seven Deadly Sins: Mr. Krabs is avarice for his love of money. Plankton is envy because he desires after that which Mr. Krabs has: a successful restaurant and the secret formula for Krabs’ signature sandwich, the Krabby Patty. Squidward is wrath due to his irritability. Sandy Cheeks the diving suit-clad squirrel is pride as she is immensely proud of her native Texas. Patrick is sloth since he is often seen dormant. Gary, SpongeBob’s pet sea snail, is gluttony because his character has little to do other than eat. SpongeBob is a strange variant on lust: though the character is said to be asexual, he seems to have “lust for life” because, depending on the writer(s), he can be too fixated on his job (or even on Squidward) at times.
On the other hand, most episodes where SpongeBob works in his regular job as a fry cook at the Krusty Krab restaurant teach young audiences to take pride in hard work and persistence as SpongeBob strives to make the most out of his rather ordinary vocation. Most episodes where Plankton appears draw a clear distinction between good and evil, showing the errors of stealing and conducting business through illegitimate means as Plankton’s schemes to outcompete Mr. Krabs, the more competent businessman, or steal his Krabby Patty recipe backfire. Lastly, depending on the writer(s), Krabs can serve as a surrogate father-figure to SpongeBob, teaching him to stay out of danger and not to act so impulsively as he usually does. In addition, one episode advocates against gun control and showing the fallacy against the premise, and another episode promotes self-sufficiency and mocks the welfare state.

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onjit06/04/2019
Sorry for a bit offtopic but have you ever done (or at least considered) any march regarding left-handed people? Sometimes I feel like they are the most forgotten minority (~10% global only) on Earth, not to mention that plenty of tools/equipment/machines/etc (like knives, scissors, guns) are designed for right handed people which causes left-handed people to die a bit earlier (on average) than right-handed people due to (among others) . Of course there are options to buy scissors or knives for left-handed people but not everything can be replaced (especially heavy equipment). Left as word is also related with weakness, evil, unjust, cheating, unclean, etc. In the past (at least medieval europe) left-handed people were called spawns of devil and burned at the stake. Even ~40 years ago left-handed people were not welcome. Children at school were hit with ruler whenever they drew/wrote with left-hand. I personally know one classmate who had hand in a cast to prevent him from drawing/writting with his left-hand. I don't know about him but I would never forgive my parents if they did that to me. Present day while being definitely a lot better for left-handed people, still have issues. You cannot even shake someone's hand with your left hand because it will be rude.
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Bimps07/29/2019
Hi, my name is Ron. Have you ever heard the good news about what God did for us? God came from heaven to earth in the person of His Son Jesus Christ, who died for our sins, and who was buried, and who arose from the dead three days later so that we can be saved and go to heaven after we die. Heaven is a beautiful place full of joy with no sorrow, sickness, suffering and death. The unsaved will suffer forever separated from the love of God in the lake of fire. We all were born sinful and this is why we do wrong things. The Son of God already took the punishment and paid the penalty for our sins with His own blood when He suffered and died for us on the cross at the age of thirty-three. Because Jesus was God in the flesh, He alone could pay the debt we owed to God. His victory over death and the grave won the victory for everyone who puts their trust in Him. To be saved you need to agree with God that you are a sinner and put your trust in the Lord Jesus Christ to save you. Do you believe in your heart the message I just shared with you and will you trust in the Lord Jesus Christ as your Savior and Lord? If your answer is yes, then you are saved and the Holy Spirit now lives within you. Now you can grow in godliness and learn more about God by reading a little everyday the written word of God called the Holy Bible. A good place to start reading the Holy Bible is "Ephesians" and you can find it online for free.
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whomstdve08/30/2019
I'm 21 years old, a columnist, an author, a graduate of UCLA, a Harvard law student -- and a virgin. And I'm proud of it.

As I explain in my new book, "**** Generation: How Social Liberalism Is Corrupting Our Future," in today's America, being a proud virgin is no easy task. Those with values are under attack in a culture that treasures "tolerance" above morality. It's no wonder that because of my outspoken advocacy of traditional morality in general and of virginity in particular, I've become a favorite target of Internet leftists, who often refer to me as "The Virgin Ben."
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onjit02/21/2019
DANGEROUS!! If you are one of the persons of this post, then sit in a corner and think about what I said, do not start a conflict, it will only confirm that I was right, hahaha
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Olive Man02/24/2019
I just wanna say it's **** sad how our natural instinct is to attack anyone who ever acts like they're better than anyone else. Like ****, I'm sorry for one time admitting that I am intelligent, I'll go back to being self-deprecating and making fun of myself I guess. There's literally no way to ever compliment yourself in any way without seeming like a piece of garbage. I don't even think I'm better than anyone else but ever revealing my one single redeeming quality, a specific type of intelligence that's not even very useful in real life, gets me **** on from all sides.  I'm not even that **** smart, I'm just like top 95th percentile or something, which means that anytime I go to a place with intelligent people I feel like a massive idiot. Idk how to find the balance between calling myself an idiot and admitting that I'm smart where I can actually get along with people
that one's from cobaltknight

rainbow02/24/2019
wow irony or not

Olive Man02/24/2019
no irony, he wrote in in real chat lmao

rainbow02/24/2019
w0w

zonii02/25/2019
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onjit03/03/2019
Everyone who is here, we are fortunate to be alive in the same time as Hozier. Although there have been many such artists over the years, but there has not, nor ever will be an artist who can match the genius, the soul and the depth that Hozier puts into his songs. In a time where the quality of the music is evaluated in terms of the number of views/plays in streaming platforms and listeners getting desensitized from the lyrics of the songs, Hozier truly emerges as a dark horse. It's a shame that he is not as famous as he deserves to be. I hope that at least with the release of the full album, songs as great as 'Nina Cried Power' can get more than 1.5 million views after more than 2 weeks of release and people coming here for the first time can go and listen to his older work. And even though I am not a faithful person, but I pray to the Universe that Hozier's voice does not fade within the noise that we call 'popular music'. He truly is one of the few modern artists who has brought me back to modern music. I hope he continues to do so for many many years because I have at least 40 years of natural life left to live and it would be bland without Hozier in it.
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onjit03/11/2019
Alright internet crusader, you can also victimize people who don’t deserve to be dragged through the system because you have a hunch. And no, that isn’t ‘super red flag behavior.’ Just because you’ve seen that behavior in people you work with, correlation isn’t causation. But hey, keep on your crusade, and yes, it is more akin to ‘there’s a crisis on the border, because you are going off of such little information and choosing that to create an issue.
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onjit03/11/2019
Thank you for the Gold and Silver, kind anonymous internet strangers! As a disabled guy who likes to make people laugh, I'm grateful for opportunities to make posts like this and lighten up a dark and charred topic.
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onjit03/22/2019
He was a Gulf War veteran. Except, dude, you were born in 1981 and the Gulf War was 1991-1992. When we were in fifth grade. Congrats on being an 11-year-old combat veteran. His uncle had taught him to fly an Air Force jet. By his telling, his uncle was a mechanic in the Air Force. They had one jet that apparently nobody could fix. But this uncle, through sheer mechanical savantism, fixed the jet. The Air Force, ignoring all fiscal law, apparently was so grateful to this mechanic that they gifted him the jet. He then flew the jet to our tiny local airport, where he taught my acquaintance how to fly it.
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onjit03/22/2019
DISCLAIMER: While the following post may appear at first glance to be unrelated to the thread at hand, upon further inspection it should be plain to see that it is merely a parody of the very nature of online communication as a whole. Furthermore, this [image/gif/text/audio/video] may not be inherently indicative of the substance of the discussion seen prior in this thread, but should still be regarded with the same artistic integrity of precedents in this medium. Despite initially appearing to be without merit, this [image/gif/text/audio/video] is intended to be construed as a statement [adhering to/refuting] the common parlance seen in this community, through which greater understanding and introspection can be achieved. Ergo, the following post should be given the consideration that it deserves, and the deeper intentions of the individual(s) who crafted the following [image/gif/text/audio/video] will be rectified for their efforts. Any attempt to refuse entry the following [image/gif/text/audio/video] should be regarded as an affront to liberty and the notion of free thought. Such individuals who would contemplate taking such actions should be deemed fierce enemies to all that we hold sacred, and subsequently banished to the deepest depths of Hades.
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onjit03/29/2019
Only one message here can be true - and it’s mine. I was the hacker. Trying to figure out how to write bots without video tutorials I tried to do a simple connect to eggserver, but being stuck in a while loop, eggserver received its cataclysm... That’s how the user count accidentally bumped. I tried to fix it, but accidentally my history browser log was inserted into the output, so you had to see sites I’ve been on. In the library I saw an interesting function, and noticed that it can creat objects, I wanted to test it out and wrote “Jidril” - and I noticed that it gave me full control of eggserver, I went there. It’s cool. I have no idea what in my code exported your data, but not to make myself suspicious I gave the data to my server “enemies”
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onjit03/31/2019
hello i am different fifty five and i am here to tell you about a browser that is not for big dum dums it is called firefox and it is better than chrome because people that use chrome are stupid and i dont like them so you should use firefox like me because its better and also you should use linux because you can do stuff with it unlike windows which should be called shilldows because it is bad and i do not like it i would say use opera as a browser for people with big peepees and even bigger brains but opera got sold to the reds and i do not like that so use firefox and you will be happy like i am goodbye
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onjit04/09/2019
Completely agree with you. Not to toot our own horns, but I would say some of the most intelligent (and brave) minds on Earth are in this server.
I just think that we operate on a higher vibrational frequency than most others, and are extremely sensitive beings.

When I say “sensitive” I don’t mean the pop culture interpretation/reference. I don’t mean “sensitive” as in “a snowflake that’s offended by everything.”

I mean “sensitive” as in “able to recognize (conscious and subconscious) energy pattern shifts and negative vibrations.” Essentially, we’re just very good at sensing ****, bad energy, and when something is just “off.”
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Olive Man04/11/2019
So one of the tests in terms of my ADHD is an IQ test, the WISC III. I did it when I was about to turn 8, and I was above the 98th percentile for both the verbal and performative. So sorry guys, I was wrong when I said I was in the top 95th percentile //forums.everybodyedits.com/img/smilies/smile
And I'd like to say, I still think I'm above the 98th percentile compared to 7 to 9 year olds..
It's a beautiful thing.
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onjit04/13/2019
Thanks for your input. I'm sorry my joke posted many months ago about the ancient movie "The Incredibles" has dated by April 2017. In future, I'll only post jokes that I'm certain will be funny for years to come. I'll also restrict myself to jokes about very recent movies and delete them after a short time period so they never become "old". I thank you once again for your constructive criticism, please do not hesitate to contact me regarding any other posts I made years ago that you also feel are "old and dry". I sincerely respect your insightful yet succinct criticism of my post and bow down to your superior comedic knowledge.
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Vitus04/14/2019
Creation is the Harmonics of Opposites -
Opposites are the Harmonics of Creation.
God entity is unicorn burrito, or no opposite burrito.
God Oners must ban all burrito with Opposites.
Trinity of males degrade female opposites.
Burrito okay for atheist, but not God Oneists.
Opposite hemispheres equate planets to a
Giant Brain, that has 4 faces, but no limbs.
Adults create baby, baby evolves to adult.
No 1 God can create a planet of opposites,
which equate to a zero value existence, and
cancels to nothing as an entity in death.
=================================================

onjit05/08/2019
this one's long, enjoy. You know what really makes me mad? The cancer infecting most major linux distributions - Systemd. Just like cancer it spreads all over your system and just like cancer, it doesn't work properly. One of the worst examples of scope creep you can find in any software solution. It was supposed to be an init system. That's OK because upstart, SysV etc. weren't great. But once again, just like cancer, it started to metastase and taking over the UEFI bootloader, login manager, syslog deamon, mount frontend, timers (trying to replace cron), dbus client, **** DNS RESOLVER, network manager and containerization system akin to Docker. That's a lot of things for a single system to handle. And that idiot, Lennart **** Poettering, **** that up spectacularly. Systemd cannot even guarantee that your system will shutdown, it's not uncommon for the shutdown process to get stuck, leaving the system somewhere between running and off. A single slightly incorrect trivial systemd service config can cause the OS not to boot at all, giving you just terminal that has no commands, not even the standard like ls or cd.
Oh you want to debug a problem with systemd? Well then look into the systemd-journald logs. Sike, ****, systemd-journald is the first thing to stop working in case of a systemd error, so you AIN'T DEBUGGING ANYTHING HAHA XD. How about debug command line parameters? Nope, WE DON'T PARSE THEM, because debug would give too many information in case something breaks. W H A T? Then there are the little things, defaulting to Google's nameservers, defaulting to Google's leap-smeared NTP servers rather than NTP servers that provide precise time, You want to cancel fsck? Nope, not possible anymore. The fsck train has no breaks. Past bugs included - mounting **** efivars as RW, making it so rm -rf / literally bricks your motherboard. DNS cache poisoning? We have that. Remote execution via DHCPv6? We have that. List of CVEs so long it spans the observable universe? We have that. Systemd-journald taking 100% of your CPU? We have that. Not being able to handle process privileges belonging to users with names starting with a number? we have that. Systemd not being able to boot if /etc/localtime is a symlink which is the CORRECT SYSTEM SETTING WHICH IS EVEN POSSIBLE TO DO VIA SYSTEMD'S OWN CONFIG TOOL? We **** have that. Anyway systemd is **** garbage and Lennart Poettering is a **** ****.
====

Борис05/17/2019
Last night I was looking for some **** of the not gay variety.  Obviously gay **** is gay, so instead I went looking for guy on girl ****. But I realized that features a guy, with a ****, and is therefore 50% gay.  So I started looking for some girl on girl action, till I realized that is lesbian, and is therefore 100% gay.

So clearly, I had to look into alternative options.  I started to consider hentai: since no one in it is real, it can’t contain guys, so it’s not gay, right? Well, hentai is anime, which not only is gay, but also makes me a weeb. The worst option so far.

I considered traps. I’ve long heard debate over whether traps are gay, so I decided to do the math.  The gayness of traps lies in the premise. Let’s consider the 5 base premises:

a guy and a trap, where the guy initially thinks he’s with a girl: effectively guy on girl, 50% gay

a guy with a trap, and the guy knew it was a trap: Dude looking for some ****, that’s gay

a girl with a trap, where the girl doesn’t know it’s a trap: that’s lesbian, and is gay

a girl with a trap, where the girl knows it’s a trap: effectively guy on girl, therefore 50% gay Therefore, on average traps are 75% gay, with a minimum gayness of 50%. Not an improvement.  The 5th option, trap on trap, is a singularity of the 4 prior possibilities, and is therefore on average 75% gay again.

So I got into specifics. What if it was girl on girl, and the premise was at least one of the girls was just bi-curious, and not actually fully lesbian? Well, in that case, their curiosity makes them a cat. Cats are furries, and furries are gay

So how about a girl soloing? Well that’s a girl touching girl bits. Lesbian and gay.

My conclusion is that the only way to live a life free of homosexual sin is to liberate oneself of sexual desire at all, and become an asexual.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

onjit05/17/2019
========

zonii05/27/2019
Listen b*tch you want to call me a neckbeard? Am I a neckbeard because I enjoy art? Because I can appreciate the value of an expert crafted story, amazing gameplay, and a beautiful gameworld? Because I have experiences more than any normal human. I have saved the princess. I have defended earth from the Reaper. I have traversed time, space, dimentions. I am the Dragonborn. I am the Witcher. I am the Lone wanderer. I have challenged the elite four...and won. Does a neckbeard finish Dark Souls in one weekend without dying... oh on my try btw. And that was after making a speach on transcendental consciousness to a COLLEGE CLASS. I have solved impossible math equations BY ACCIDENT. I read philosophy books for FUN. Am I making myself clear sweetie? OR are a neuronormative goon who thinks "football" is the pinnacle of human creation? You probably couldn't even jummp on a goomba... My ansestors are smiling me, fool...Can you say the same?
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onjit05/29/2019
How do I stay in top physical form becoming this athletic specimen that scientists can't even fully understand? Well it's all thanks to my work out and diet regimen now it'd make even LeBron James **** his pants. I wake up at 4 am everyday , I drink 3 raw eggs with the side of pancakes with nails sprinkled on top and also a glass of straight uranium, I then grab my favourite fidget spinner: the triple XL gold-plated 25 pound weighted Air-Cutter supreme-extreme maximum turbo overdrive spagooter with pump-action assault-grip as well as extended magazines and a silencer, I've even customised this bad boy with a laser dot sight with a green finish as well as further modifications including hydraulics, 3D printing capability as well as doubling as a fax machine. This is a gadget straight out of MI6, this is right brewed up from **** Q laboratories- he used to make gadgets for 007 now he's making fidget spinners for me. Do you still think this is a fad for kids you **** troglodyte? Well I guess if that's how you wanna spin this story, but for me I know the truth, I know that this game was made for men and I've mastered it. I live and breathe fidget spinning. So go ahead, play your boring traditional sports like football and baseball. I'll just be here like a diss-jockey spinning it. it's not easy being the grand master of fidget spinning.
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onjit05/31/2019
Today I used chrome for the first time on the school computers. FF was running slow and there's no way I was going to use IE so I opened chrome. I needed to get to google, so I type in google.com and you know what happens next? It crashes. I get a little popup saying Woah! Chrome crashed! And then I dismissed it as a one-time thing.... until it kept on happening. Google Chrome would load any page except google. I would've taken a video but I didn't have my flash drive and the IT people actually know what they're doing for a change.... Without my flash drive I can't get to my proxies and other tools.
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onjit06/02/2019
I hate this server. I understand it, and I agree with the idea that it's stupid to feel superior because you're different, but that whole server is like . . . people feeling superior by making fun of the people who are feeling superior by making fun of other people. It's 3 levels into meta pretentiousness. Pretentious people are pretentious and then people who hate pretention start feeling superior for their hating pretention so much that THEY get pretentious about it, and then this sub is hating THOSE people so much and feeling so superior that they get pretentious as well. Like, Jesus H Christ can we all stop judging each other please it's not worth anyone's time
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onjit06/02/2019
And we‘re only 14. She shouldn‘t have to know what it feels to have your heart broken. Instead of telling her I loved her that night after the game, I was standing behind the bleachers kissing another girl. Every night you ask me why I vape when I snap you, why I do that **** to my body. I feel like it‘ll take the pain away. But the nic only lasts 10 minutes long. I get dizzy. Then I remember what I did to her.

That boy you like. I hope you get him. And I hope he's nothing like me. Because god I don't want you dating someone like me. Girls aren‘t toys yet boys like me still play them.

Good girls fall for douchey guys and we lead them on because we don't realize what we have until we lose it
=====

Tykki5206/07/2019
There is absolutely no better feeling than waking up in a big bed ALONE with no female having stained my Egyptian cotton sheets. That's right - it's Saturday morning and I'm out on my balcony enjoying the view of which no woman will EVER be able to share with me. A woman would be considered lucky to be even within 20 metres of my gold coast mansion - let alone stand by my side.

Life is just perfect without them, time for a :smoking:.
- Chestbrother
===============

onjit06/14/2019
Some time ago I received a call from a colleague. He was about to give a student a zero for his answer to a physics question, while the student claimed a perfect score. The instructor and the student agreed to an impartial arbiter, and I was selected. I read the examination question: "SHOW HOW IT IS POSSIBLE TO DETERMINE THE HEIGHT OF A TALL BUILDING WITH THE AID OF A BAROMETER." The student had answered, "Take the barometer to the top of the building, attach a long rope to it, lower it to the street, and then bring it up, measuring the length of the rope. The length of the rope is the height of the building."

The student really had a strong case for full credit since he had really answered the question completely and correctly!On the other hand, if full credit were given, it could well contribute to a high grade in his physics course and to certify competence in physics, but the answer did not confirm this. I suggested that the student have another try.I gave the student six minutes to answer the question with the warning that the answer should show some knowledge of physics. At the end of five minutes, he had not written anything. I asked if he wished to give up, but he said he had many answers to this problem; he was just thinking of the best one. I excused myself for interrupting him and asked him to please go on.

In the next minute, he dashed off his answer which read: "Take the barometer to the top of the building and lean over the edge of the roof. Drop the barometer, timing its fall with a stopwatch. Then, using the formula x=0.5at2, calculate the height of the building." At this point, I asked my colleague if he would give up. He conceded, and gave the student almost full credit.
While leaving my colleague's office, I recalled that the student had said that he had other answers to the problem, so I asked him what they were."Well," said the student, "there are many ways of getting the height of a tall building with the aid of a barometer. For example, you could take the barometer out on a sunny day and measure the height of the barometer, the length of its shadow, and the length of the shadow of the building, and by the use of simple proportion, determine the height of the building. "Fine," I said, "and others?" "Yes," said the student, "there is a very basic measurement method you will like. In this method, you take the barometer and begin to walk up the stairs. As you climb the stairs, you mark off the length of the barometer along the wall. You then count the number of marks, and this will give you the height of the building in barometer units." "A very direct method." "Of course. If you want a more sophisticated method, you can tie the barometer to the end of a string, swing it as a pendulum, and determine the value of g at the street level and at the top of the building. From the difference between the two values of g, the height of the building, in principle, can be calculated.""On this same tact, you could take the barometer to the top of the building, attach a long rope to it, lower it to just above the street, and then swing it as a pendulum. You could then calculate the height of the building by the period of the precession".
"Finally," he concluded, "there are many other ways of solving the problem. Probably the best," he said, "is to take the barometer to the basement and knock on the superintendent's door. When the superintendent answers, you speak to him as follows:'Mr. Superintendent, here is a fine barometer. If you will tell me the height of the building, I will give you this barometer." At this point, I asked the student if he really did not know the conventional answer to this question. He admitted that he did, but said that he was fed up with high school and college instructors trying to teach him how to think.
=====

onjit06/27/2019
Yeah but I would outsmart you as I always do if I was your opponent because I am better than you (not saying this because I'm insecure (I have a genius level IQ (still failed school because "School isn't a place for smart people" (Rick and Morty Reference (Rick Sanchez said it (he is basically me because we are both smart (yeah you read that right I watch Rick and Morty (if any ladies are interested then PM me (I DO have a gf rn though but i cheat lol (still hate degeneracy (lol (acronym for Laugh out Loud (I didn't actually laugh out loud but I say that online because other people do sometimes (lol (whoops I did it again (lol (acronym for Laugh Out Loud (this is despite the fact I didn't laugh out loud))))))))))))))))))
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onjit06/30/2019
This is not real. It is fake, the ballon is not heavy. He is just pretending. Edit- Update. I did a little bit of research.

Okay I found a version of the video with audio in it and I believe I understand how he did this. The balloon is being moved around by an operator just off stage out of the cameras view. They are using a machine to control an inductive flux around the ballon. The ballon is probably filed with a gas that can be staticky charged, like argon. This is why they would use a dark ballon. So that way you can not see the gas reacting to energy in the different of the intestines of flux. “Glowing”. One of the small give aways is that when he jerks his body around, his hat moves and even falls off. But his metal glasses never fall off.

But the major part of the video that gives this whole trick away. It’s when she pops the ballon, you can see him fall towards it.
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onjit07/16/2019
Do you know how many of my peers I've tutored over the years? The best example of me being smart, is i used to skip my cegep classes so much. I hadnt been to this math and logic class in like 2 weeks, i showed up, figured out what was going on in like 5 minutes, and then i helped my friend figure out what was going on.
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TorvakMOS07/18/2019
I’m a 13 year old atheist and it’s funny seeing the ‘minds’ in twitch chat entertained by a children’s videogame lmao. Whenever you idiots “ Pog-Champ” or “ Omega-Lul”, I am studying the works of Plato, Sun Tzu, Richard and Mortimer etc. and expanding my knowledge. Guess who will have the better job in 10 years?
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TorvakMOS07/20/2019
I was very self aware when i was young and still am. I used to suck pebis at socializing. But i was able to figure out how to do it. Still not great at it but im able to be me for the most part when im with people i dont know
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Bimps07/21/2019
Paper is a very important product in our society. Writers and artists have greatly benefited from the invention of paper. With only some paper and a pen or pencil, a writer can produce stories and poems that can captivate readers. They can also write down historical facts about their society. Actually, these writings don’t become historical until years later. At the time, the writings could probably be considered news. Artists use paper for their drawings and paintings. They can also use canvas. Drawings and paintings can be very beautiful. They can depict a wide variety of subjects, including flowers, animals, landscapes, and people. They can be realistic or impressionistic. Some paintings also attempt to convey emotions merely by the way the colors are combined and the brushstrokes are applied. This is a modern or contemporary approach to art. Many people think this approach does not require as much talent as the realistic styles.
I will end my writing here. I have tried to make it very boring, and I hope I have succeeded. There are plenty of boring documents available for you to read. Check your public library for more information. You can also find boring materials at a bookstore or on websites. Sometimes this information can be found in magazines (which I mentioned earlier).
======

onjit07/28/2019
This is a COPY PASTA. This text is the DESIGN upon the copy pasta. The TEXT is to help PROLIFERATE the copy pasta... A good pasta DESIGN is one that attracts more readers and gives more pleasure. This text is trying to pull you in much like an eye-catching picture-meme. It is designed to get you to READ IT. This is called luring the VICTIM, and you are the VICTIM. But if you have a free mind you should STOP READING NOW! Because all I am attempting to do is to get you to read on. Yet this is a DOUBLE BIND because if you indeed stop you'll be doing what I tell you, and if you read on you'll be doing what I've wanted all along. And the more you read on the more you're falling for this simple device of telling you exactly how a good copy pasta works. They're TRICKS and this is the worst TRICK of all since it's describing the TRICK whilst trying to TRICK you, and if you've read this far then you're TRICKED but you wouldn't have known this unless you'd read this far. At least I'm telling you directly instead of seducing you with a beautiful or haunting visual-meme that may never tell you. I'm letting you know that you ought to proliferate this pasta because in essence it's a MEME and MEMES are to be consumed and you are a consumer and this is a good MEME.
=====

onjit07/29/2019
Do you even know who you're talking to? I'm a **** prodigy. I was raised in a private school and got straight A's in all subjects. I later went on to become the captain of the debate team in my high school due to my uncanny gift with words and opinions. I have a masters degree in political science and liberal arts. I am smarter than anyone you will ever know. I have an iq of 250 which was recognised by a professional group of elite scientists. How **** dare you challenge my masterfully crafted opinions. I rub shoulders with the richest and smartest people in the world who can make you disappear without a **** trace. I know why you are questioning me. You are simply jealous of me living the high life while you suck **** and contract STD's for drug money. You **** peasant. You are dirt. Filth. You should know your place in this world already. I'm done with you. I've had enough of your petty arguments and low iq. Im going to engage in some real discussion with intellectuals such as myself somewhere else. I hope that in a few years, you will realise your place and cringe at your old points and worship me and my high Iq.
Goodbye.
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onjit08/03/2019
WOW kid you just got R/WOOOOOOSHED!!!! :joy::joy::eyes: "Wooosh" means you didn't get the joke, as in the sound made when the joke "woooshes" over your head. WOW kid you just got R/WOOOOOOSHED!!!! :joy::joy::eyes: "Wooosh" means you didn't get the joke, as in the sound made when the joke "woooshes" over your head. I bet you're too stupid to get it, IDIOT!! :triumph::triumph::joy: My joke was so thoughtfully crafted and took me a total of 3 minutes, you SHOULD be laughing. 🤬 What's that? My joke is bad? I think that's just because you failed. I outsmarted you, nitwit.🤭 In conclusion, I am posting this to the community known as "R/Wooooosh" to claim my internet points in your embarrassment https://wiki.everybodyedits.com/images/0/09/160_smirk. Imbecile. The Germans refer to this action as "Schadenfreude," which means "harm-joy" :grimacing::astonished:. WOW! 🤪 Another reference I had to explain to you. 🤦♂️🤭 I am going to cease this conversation for I do not converse with simple minded persons.:smirk::joy:
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pingo08/21/2019
There's something called FREEDOM OF SPEECH. But then there's also something called HATE . And you my friend is in the HATE side , even though I'm in no way a 50 Fan , I do realize that
I've been listening to Hip Hop since 1985 . I know the in and out of the game, and I can tell ..that you don't have idea what you're talking about, THIS it's a CLASSIC . AN AMAZING ALBUM. The beats , the flow ,, lyrics and direction of the album. Give this project its own personality. very dope album
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Helist08/22/2019
Yes, games sort of "objectify women" according to mainstream media, dude. But as a player or streamer I don't give a ****. I don't give a ****, dude. The product is delivered to be consumed in a certain way and I'm consuming ALL of it. Yeah, I'm not afraid of saying it. When I see **** in games, I get HARD. Way harder I should be. Yep, and I don't give a ****, I love it. And, dude, I'm not afraid of saying it, I think it's fine. The game devs want me to consume it this way- sounds good to me.
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whomstdve08/22/2019
Well I am not foolish and incorrect. Do you even know who you're talking to? I'm a **** prodigy. I was raised in a private school and got straight A's in all subjects. I later went on to become the captain of the debate team in my high school due to my uncanny gift with words and opinions. I have a masters degree in political science and liberal arts. I am smarter than anyone you will ever know. I have an iq of 250 which was recognised by a professional group of elite scientists. How **** dare you challenge my masterfully crafted opinions. I rub shoulders with the richest and smartest people in the world who can make you disappear without a **** trace. I know why you are questioning me. You are simply jealous of me living the high life while you suck **** and contract STD's for drug money. You **** peasant. You are dirt. Filth. You should know your place in this world already. I'm done with you. I've had enough of your petty arguments and low iq. Im going to engage in some real discussion with intellectuals such as myself somewhere else. I hope that in a few years, you will realise your place and cringe at your old points and worship me and my high Iq. Goodbye.
======

Helist08/31/2019
Enlightening Piece of Literature Since reading this classic in American Literature, I have achieved enlightenment. The positioning of the words in each sentence, the sheer articularity, is impeccable. Since reading this novel I have seen the face of God and achieved Nirvana. My charisma and comedy skills have increased ten-thousandfold. I now have an IQ of 1.4x1032. The universe simply bends to my will.

When I first purchased this book, the era when I was mortal, I foolishly had not expected much. However, when I sat down in my 8th grade English class, and read the first joke, my mind became one with the Universe. My eyes went glazed, and every female in the classroom turned to me, as they smelled the greatness of my genetics and male pheromones through the air.

The teacher turned to me and asked if I had something to say. I simply read the joke that I saw first when opening a random page.

“Did you hear about the player that was so freaked out that when she was attacked by a few mobs, she forgot to use her sword?

what a noob”

These mere mortals, not reading the words on paper, missed out on the joke’s elegance and humor. Until, I heard a kid next to me laugh out loud, producing sound waves at a frequency of 790 Hz exactly. I turn, looking for the genius in the classroom who can grasp such humor. The kid?

Albert Einstein
=========

onjit09/02/2019
Humor a bipolar guy and read a semi-manic rant, it won't be any more **** than any movie you try to watch. Here goes. Delete social media (especially facebook and instagram) and limit any form of media platform with 'unlimited' content (ideally quit, but holy **** it's hard). This recognition of the 'unlimited' aspect was a complete game changer for me, if you take anything from this rant, take this part: the endless reddit/fb/insta feed, avoid like the plague. This is cliched advice, but these companies are literally some of, if not the biggest spenders on psychologists in the world, specifically designing their products to keep you addicted to their platform and to always have them in the back of your mind. This is the whole essence of their value to investors and advertisers, otherwise they have no incentive to exist at a business level, so they just get better and better at it every year, it's an established science of its own at this point. This has become normalised, but it's not, it's **** insane. Anyone from the pre-smartphone era remembers not being addicted to low depth, high intensity media that gives little dopamine hits every thirty seconds, but we don't like to go in to depth about it because we all recognise that we're all a bit addicted too, and change is hard. Look at the insane tantrums toddlers have when their phones are taken. We saw lesser versions of this with console games when I was a kid and this is a step above that, I'm not saying you're like that, but it shows the effect these things have on our minds. We didn't evolve to handle this. This **** is like a sea of competing man-made mind-viruses, with prize money for the most persuasive and addictive (literally). Don't fear missing out on **** online, that's what they're paid to convince you of, and try your best to see past their techno-carny ****.
=====

onjit09/07/2019
Guys, you that I always say I am drunk and I cuss so I am not a kid. Why do people keep saying this? How can I prove myself that I am a adult in discord? Alright this is the last thing I am gonna say. I am really a adult, I have 3 kids, delivery is my job, my IQ is 163. That's the last thing that has to be related if I am a adult or not, now stop. Enough now, do not say anything about me again. I do not watch little kid shows or play any kid games. I only play teen or mature 17+
I already quit school. I also got jailed for 5 years for going to USA without permission. You should better stop lying about my age or else I ignore. I am not a kid. I have a credit card and job and kids. I quitted school at 1984
I know how to drive ok? I am not a kid. Also, I am 5' 7", that means it is impossible for me to be a kid
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pingo09/09/2019
(pushes up glasses)
That's the purpose, Wiser. The trajectory of humor in this modern age is approaching a critical point. It is the point where abstraction becomes realism; when less meaning is more.Take James Joyce's cerebral post-modernist work, Finnegan's Wake. For the uninitiated, this piece of writing is completely nonsensical, but when one delves into the purpose of Wake, it becomes apparent that the purpose is to be purposeless. In comparison, humor in 2019 functions the same way. The online community has become too accustomed to "understanding", and now embellishes a paradigm shift travelling towards "misunderstanding". To know is not to know. Do you understand, Wiser? Because if you did, then you're missing the point.
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onjit09/10/2019
This is my biggest problem in life . . . and my college instructors are average at best. It's hard to get anything done when you have to actively think about what you are going to say and immediately dumb it down so more than 5% of the room will get it. I've had to be graded by an independent adjudicator on 3 separate occasions because my theses on papers are somewhat far fetched but still within the guidelines for the paper, and i was later given A's on all 3 papers. I just want to make an original paper instead of something that has been exhausted. In many forms, this issue constantly crops up for me in the academic world but nowhere near as much in the work world. This has led me to be stuck working with people of diminished or non-existent intelligence because to progress in the work world, one must deal with Academia.

Hints anyone?
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onjit09/10/2019
One times one is two.

How?

If one times one equals one that means that two is of no value because one times itself has no effect. One times one equals two because the square root of four is two, so what's the square root of two? Should be one, but we're told it's two, and that cannot be
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onjit09/10/2019
In conclusion, I felt it was one of the lesser tomes in the Berenstain Bears anthology. I felt that the portrayal of Mama Bear was saturated in the logic of the patriarchy and heteronormativity while Papa Bear was a fairly transparent and ill-conceived representation of toxic masculinity and the effects of consumerist capitalist ideology. While Honey bear and Sister bear did pique my interest the use of their characters to represent the nature of political subjectivity in relation to the transition from post-modernity to post-post-modernity was sophomoric at best. I give this particular text a 3 out of 5 stars. I hope my critique was dumbed down enough for your plebeian sensibilities
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onjit09/10/2019
All over the internet, I notice you churlish cretins lauding the supposedly intellectual television program known as Rick and Morty to make yourselves appear more intelligent by extension, as you are ardent watchers of the aforementioned show. However, you piddling planarians only succeed in illustrating how vapid you really are, as Rick and Morty has the intellectual depth of a petri dish. Truly, the most noetic show is neither Rick and Morty, the Big Bang Theory, Jimmy Neutron, nor any other deluge of drivel you deludable dimwits bombard your brains with. Rather, it is Johnny Test, a pinnacle of animation, sound design, acting, and plot. Despite this, most of you sniveling sub-10000s (someone with an IQ under 10000: for the record, my IQ is several orders of magnitude higher than this; my reason for my usage of this term is simply because I am partial to the number 10000) will dismiss Johnny Test as another subpar piece of rubbish from Teletoon, but you all fail to realize how much genius goes into producing that show. I have watched Johnny Test since I was a juvenile, and already I bear an IQ so toweringly high no known test can measure it (that is to say, no known test for humans can measure it: when using the scale with which computer processing power is evaluated, I clock in at over 8.3 trecentillion yottaflops).
I have memorized every facet of human knowledge and only used 32.8% of my potential intelligence (my remaining neurons I allocate towards personal use, research, and wealthy companies for use as server farms and bitcoin mines). Not only that, but I have transformed all of the atoms in my being into a quantum computer to serve as an extension to my enormous encephalon, which handles the menial tasks and other trivialities associated with existence (such as respiration, ingestion, digestion, socializing, et cetera). Capable of perorating proficiently in every method of communication in the world, I have developed my own language that employs a manifold of grammar rules, and I created it all while thrashing a coalition of humanity’s smartest supercomputers in a game of Tic-Tac-Toe (for those who say that Tic-Tac-Toe is “easy,” think about the all the times you’ve played Tic-Tac-Toe: a majority were ties, no?
Think about that, and also about the fact that a single, solitary supercomputer, much less over a dozen, is smarter than millions of you combined). And no, you cannot see me type this language because it is purely telepathic. At this point, I can imagine several of you already typing frantically in a fervent effort to keep your egos afloat in the face of such psychological grandeur. That’s right, the collective intelligence of all of you, if we’re using luminosity as an analogy, is akin to a diminutive candle in comparison to the massive quasar that represents my mind. Confronted with this, most of you will attempt to deride me with paltry, nonsensical invective and vitriolic vituperations to protect what minuscule amount of self-esteem you possess. These predictions are not the result of mere intuition, of course. In actuality, I have run several simulations using my brain alone on the possible consequences of my publication of this digital manuscription. My reply to all of you digital detractors is that if you so desire to demonstrate that you are brainier than I, then arrange for an intellectual debate between you and me on a topic of your choosing, any time or place.
My schedule is very pliable as I’ve already won over 4 dozen nobel prizes, so I’m perfectly willing to put a temporary halt to my research, if you could even call it that (I speculate without demur that none of your debate skills will be enough of a problem for me to the point where I will be forced to snap out out of my subconscious simulations to employ the use of those neurons). Besides, I don’t want to be a glory hog and leave none of the secrets of the universe left for unlocking. You know, let the dogs have their day and all of that. I already know that none of you simpletons with your senescent synapses will be able to match up to my vast vernacular and verbiage, my mental dexterity with declension, and my phrenic puissance with my phraseology and pronunciation. In a matter of seconds (or possibly longer, if I’ve overestimated your already positively benthic IQs when running my simulations), you’ll fly into cantankerous conniptions after my consummate trouncing and repudiation of every single one of the “facts” that you hold so dear as proof of your purported intellect. And in response to those who claim, overcome with envy and spite, that as intelligent as I am, I will never sleep with anyone: I don’t need to. I am quite capable of simulating, to the meagerest tactile sensation, every position in the Kama Sutra (as well as a few I myself have devised for maximum oxytocin and endorphin release) simultaneously in a few seconds, and the only reason it takes even that long is because I am prolonging the simulation in order to enjoy the experience: I could do it in hundredths of a millisecond if I so wish. However, for someone with such acute acumen as I, life is far too easy.
When pure ennui drives you to calculate the movements of the 27 subatomic particles you’ve discovered and how they interact with one another in the 2,038th dimension using a base 3.2407 quadrillion number system, you realize that the universe and its infinite copies and offshoots offer nothing more to you. Except, that is, for Johnny Test. Even for an individual with such altitudinous IQ such as myself, it’s difficult to understand every single subtle joke and reference. That’s not to say I don’t understand any of the plenitude of allusions, in fact, I am able to comprehend virtually every single one. For example, one minutia most of you would fail to notice is when Susan’s chin moves two extra pixels further than in any of the previous episodes when she talks during the seventeenth second of the fifth minute of season 3 episode 10. Hardly any of you would conceive of the fact that this is a reference to the exact number, down to 84 significant figures, of the percent change in total nitrogen in the Earth’s atmosphere due to the eructation of a small cynodont 257 million years ago.
There are more examples I could give, such as the color of the walls of the sisters’ lab being a slightly different hue from the norm in season 4 episode 19 (a reference to the presence of approximately 2.9 millimoles of ammonium diuranate in the ink of a Chinese manuscript dated 1256 BCE), but that would detract from the intended purpose of this writing. Johnny Test is a work of art, a perfect concoction of knowledge from a multitude of academic fields that combine to make a program that is the only form of media I have ever encountered that has been even somewhat laborious for me to fathom, and I’m talking about someone who altered the biochemistry and chirality of their body in order to make it more efficient than the prodigality that is the human body. My temples ache with the pain of having to pump copious amounts of Testium (an element I discovered that takes the role of oxygen in my unique biochemistry, named after my favorite show of course) to my brain in order to comprehend what I have just watched. And to everybody who claims that the reason my temples are sore or why I have “delusions of grandeur” are due to my being “high” or whichever way you aim to construe my exegesis of an episode, you will hear vocalizations of a gelatological nature emanating from my larynx whilst Xyzyzyx the paisley pangolin (a treasured acquaintance of mine) and I reflect on your foolishness later that day. I await the furious fussilade of odious obluquies and belittling bombast in the comments below. “Too long; Did not read”: Did you really think I would include one of these silly little things at the bottom of my witty wordsmithery? It's not my fault if you can't handle my de trop of definitions or my lexical linguipotence! Get back up there and read it, even if you have to go through it with dictionary in hand.
===== ^ All the same pasta btw - this is what we like to call in "the biz" a spaghetti

Beardlicker09/20/2019
Not funny I didn't laugh. Your joke is so bad I would have preferred the joke went over my head and you gave up re-telling me the joke. To be honest this is a horrid attempt at trying to get a laugh out of me. Not a chuckle, not a hehe, not even a subtle burst of air out of my esophagus. Science says before you laugh your brain preps your face muscles but I didn't even feel the slightest twitch. 0/10 this joke is so bad I cannot believe anyone legally allowed you to be creative at all. The amount of brain power you must have put into that joke has the potential to power every house on Earth. Get a personality and learn how to make jokes, read a book. I'm not saying this to be funny I genuinely mean it on how this is just bottom barrel embarrassment at comedy. You've single handedly killed humor andevery comedic act on the planet.
I'm so disappointed that society has failed as a whole in being able to teach you how to be funny. Honestly if I put in all my power and time to try and make your joke funny it would require Einstein himself to build a device to strap me into so I can be connected to the energy of a billion stars to do it, and even then all that joke would get from people is a subtle scuff. You're lucky I still have the slightest of empathy for you after telling that joke otherwise I would have committed every war crime in the book just to prevent you from attempting any humor ever again. We should put that joke in text books so future generations can be wary of becoming such an absolute comedic failure. Im disappointed, hurt, and outright offended that my precious time has been wasted in my brain understanding that joke. In the time that took I was planning on helping kids who have been orphaned, but because of that you've waisted my time explaining the obscene integrity of your terrible attempt at comedy. Now those kids are suffering without meals and there's nobody to blame but you. I hope you're happy with what you have done and I truly hope you can move on and learn from this **** poor attempt.
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onjit09/24/2019
PhD in journalism chiming in. The transition to sensationalism started in the 80s. Though most people blame the rise of the 24 hour news cycle, the real birth can be credited to a song called "Dont Stop Believin" that was released by a band named 'Journey' in 1981.

In the song, the band posits that "some will win, some will lose" and "some were born to sing the blues".

This, of course, got a lot of people riled up, because sometimes there are also ties. It also takes a lot of hard work and dedication to sing the blues, and rarely are people born to do it.

The controversy around this song escalated with both sides of the political party taking opposing viewpoints. Once the internet became mainstream in the 90s, this hot topic snowballed and modern sensationalism was born.
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Helist09/27/2019
I cannot think or comprehend of anything more cucked than having a daughter. Honestly, think about it rationally. You are feeding, clothing, raising and rearing a girl for at least 18 years solely so she can go and get ravaged by another man. All the hard work you put into your beautiful little girl - reading her stories at bedtime, making her go to sports practice, making sure she had a healthy diet, educating her, playing with her. All of it has one simple result: her body is more enjoyable for other men.

Raised the perfect girl? Great. Who benefits? If you're lucky, a random man who had nothing to do with the way she grew up, who marries her. He gets to ravage her every night. He gets the benefits of her kind and sweet personality that came from the way you raised her.

As a man who has a daughter, you are LITERALLY dedicating at least 20 years of your life simply to raise a girl for another man to enjoy. It is the ULTIMATE AND FINAL ****. Think about it logically.
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TorvakMOS09/27/2019
you should take your own advice
being snide and calling people out specifically as if you were in a lunchroom isn't that much more productive
but I'll duly note what you have to say for my future comments
I'm pretentious but i never speak just to hear myself talk
at least intentionally
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onjit09/28/2019
While everyone acknowledges the humorous aspect of the image where the legs appear to be the performers’ very own legs, you feigned ignorance and pretended that you were completely oblivious to this seemingly obvious confusing perspective. I must admit that the act of reading your comment prompted the release of a small flow of air exiting from my dominant nostril and for that, good sir, I must command you on your wonderful sense of humor. May you keep feigning ignorance for the purpose of comedy on this great Internet page.
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onjit08/11/2019
I go to school everyday with an open mind and a happy face. People think I’m something I’m not. I finally found a place where I fit in. Or have i? I came here to let go of my problems and think of my love. Her names Myah and she had been on my mind lately, I once went to a dance just to dance with her than I left knowing I accomplished one further step. Recently though she’s been hanging w this other guy and there getting really close. He is an ok guy but is very rude and I can’t figure out why she likes him. She has also been hanging with a new friend group that gives bad influences. But nothing can deteriorate my love for her. I know we might not be a match but if you ever find my comment, I love you...
=====
Yoooo if you going through something, just know it's light at the end of the tunnel! I've been away from my family for 3 years, isolated by myself and this music has helped me in so many ways. Embrace who you are, be strong and confident in knowing YOU ARE SOMEONE. NOBODY will ever be able to change that. Find your purpose and dwell in it. Thrive of positive energy and learn from the negative energy. Life is amazing even through ****. I love all my people. Continue to be blessed.


Now smoke that blunt and exhale all the stress!:-)
=====
It's kind of sad for me to think about but since everyone is posting their stories here, I guess I'll post mine too, coming from a person who once considered suicide: I was "accidentally" (lets say that my mom enrolled me to a horrible school without letting me know what it is in the first place) enrolled to a government-facilitated school out of a few thousands(I passed the examination test like a rabbit being lead to a trap). Everyday in school I always walk alone in and out, without really much having any matching social skills with the other students, but I befriended many dogs there and they accompany me. Whenever i get sad on a set of stairs and sit there, the dogs would come and greet me regardless for what emotion I feel. They are the ones who stick by me no matter what mood I feel or how the gross thoughts gush out to me like shattered glass. And they're not even humans. People would pass by me as I cry, and they comfort other folks who they too cry but not loud as I.
Of course, neglect became a normality to me during these highschool years, and I don't even like to talk about highschool because it really sucks. It's not fair that everyone else get good highschools and musicals with dreams, but from the comment sections of various lo-fi mixes, I now know I'm not alone. I'm not the only one who hangs with dogs than people and I'm not the only one who has a bad highschool. I have a good love life, and he's taking good care of me, but it's still sad that only one person actually loves me inside and out and how we're millions of miles apart. But I'll get there soon and it would all be worth it. I won't have to think about jumping in a few years because that feeling will surpass. I still have 2 years left of highschool and I will leave that out just like I did with my childhood. Because anyway, teenage angst is only temporary and this is just a warm-up for the next step to adulthood. It's scary-sounding but I like to fear things, which is why I love to laugh at horror movies and laugh at screaming frogs.
=====
Eh I have dabbled into this music for quite a while now and I think I’ve fully embraced it. The community that follows with it is amazing and I see that everyone is writing their stories so here is mine. In the 7th grade I found a girl I really liked and could talk to about anything, I fell in love. Several year and she was still going around dating other guys and she had finally told me freshman year she had liked me, I couldn’t believe it, after all that time it took for her to tell me, I was so excited... but then she started dating this guy who was several years above us and was so confused. I had wasted so much time with her for 2 years as a friend only to get thrown to the side. Fast forward a couple years and we’ve both moved away from eachother and go to the same school. I have had several girlfriends since then and she is the only one I get caught up thinking about. I don’t truly know what’s wrong with me. What is love? Is it just a way of telling yourself that you want to cherish a certain person everyday? If so then I don’t believe I’ve ever been in love, I know I’m contradicting myself but girls suck, I’m starting to talk to a new girl that I meet over the internet and her name is Aria, she is beautiful and splendid overall.
Anyways after being side tracked Bailee, the girl from the previous story is trying to talk to me again and I don’t know what to do, I’m trying to move on from a failed friendship and make amends to someone new. My best friends from the start of highschool are not who they once were and they have changed. Ethan my best friend for about 3 years (6th to 9th) and after freshmen year I kinda dropped out of friends after days of thoughts on how I wanted to change myself. Now I’m not sure who is a friend anymore, I’m sure a friend is someone who you would miss if they suddenly passed away but I don’t know if I have anyone like that. Times are rough for this senior moving to New Mexico in 3 months and doesn’t know how or why to make friends... if you read all of this I’m sorry.
=====
This year I started a new school and I thought I was going to be better. I've been looking forward to going to this school for two years and it was one of the few saving graces I had left. I'm not saying I don't like it here, I'm just saying that all my hopes of finally overcoming my depression and anxiety are falling short. This place was supposed to make me feel happy and free, but I still feel stuck. Stuck in my anxiety, stuck in this mindset, stuck in the same old, same old of everyday life. I thought that I was better. I thought that I was going to leave everything behind me when I left, but I didn't. About a week ago I realized that I've been lying to myself for over two years and I don't know how to handle it... For two years I've convinced myself that I am better, that I am stronger, but I'm not. I've just gotten better at lying to myself and everyone around me. I'm still struggling with this new found information but I've gotten better. I'm sorry for ranting, I just really needed to get this off my chest.
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pingo08/16/2019
Hey dad I miss you. Hope you're having fun on your extended vacation.

When are you coming home? It's tough on mom. Dennis (her friend who lives here now) drinks a lot and he smells.

I have heard them really mad at each other at night and mom says that okay and she likes it. But I miss playing Super Mario 64 with you and you doing all the under water parts for me so I don't cry and throw up on the rug again. Dennis throws up on that rug now.
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onjit09/14/2019
1. i wake up
2. i left to go see my friends
3. i laughed with them
4. played with them
5. i helped them
6. i blink and i...
read 2,3,4,5,6,1
=====
onjit05/08/2019
Watashi wa a victim of cyberbullying. Everyday someone online calls me a "weeb" desu. Watashi won't stand for this. 26 percent of bullying victims are chosen due to their race or religion desu. I may look like a basic white boy, but deep down I am Nihongo desu. Watashi religion is anime. Anata wa bullying me because of my race and religion desu ka? Disgusting desu. Anata should be ashamed of yourself, racist pig. A baka gaijin like anata is probably jealous of my race and culture, cause Nippon is more sugoi than your kisama country desu. Watashi pity anata. You'll never be Nihongo like watashi. I'm a weeb? Pfft. I AM AN OTAKU DESU. Educate yourself on nani a "weeb" is before anata try to insult watashi desu. I WILL NOT BE CYBERBULLIED ANYMORE. REPORTED.
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onjit05/19/2019
I've tackled this series with pessimism. I've been told that the first game was pretty alright, so I figured let's pick it up while it's on sale. And before I knew it I became hooked, and all I ever talked about was Danganronpa. I'd see something and say, "hey that reminds me of so and so from Danganronpa." And while I hated this transformation of me, I've come to embrace it.

I read that this ending was very controversial; many called it the worst possible way that the series could've ended. But in my case, as someone who fell victim to anime and its addictive and destructive properties, I felt the ending was a proper sendoff. For those who read this review before playing the game, I won't mention any spoilers. I will say that after my absolute dedication and attachment to the series, this game has left me at peace. Danganronpa is FINALLY over, and I don't have to fall victim to it's twisted and diabolical tricks ever again. Maybe I will get a life again, and maybe I won't just make stupid references and jokes to it and maybe I'll get my soul and normal self back.

Anime has removed my ambition for anything and everything. And while Danganronpa V3 may not have ended the way I expected...thank Christ it's over. I'm not sure if I'm glad I played the games and watched the anime, because while I enjoyed doing it, it really ate my time. But maybe that's a sign of me being weak-willed. I'm glad this series is over. If no other Danganronpa game ever comes out, that's probably the best for my time and psyche. But if another comes out, I am certain that I will buy it, play it, and become addicted all over again. God damn I love anime.
=====

onjit08/19/2019
Cute anime girls are the most powerful thing on the planet. There's an anime out right now thats literally just about cute girls working out at a gym and I've started working out more often. It's insidious.
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onjit02/26/2019
Furries attract social outcasts, those otherwise shunned people obviously do not practice acceptable social behavior. This kind of generalization might offend you and you may consider it "toxic", but when talking of macro-group compositions I have not seen any evidence, anecdotally, to prove otherwise. I confidently say that as a group, furries are degenerate scum (again according to the societal standards). Perhaps it's because furry-"dom" centers around hedonism and sexual fetishism.
=====
I'm all for live and let live, let your freak flag fly, but there's still no question that being a self-professed furry means you're a **** weirdo that normal people probably shouldn't associate with. The internet has desensitized us all, I mean, there's a guy on here who ruined his life by spending all his money on buying and **** rubber dragons, and that's hilarious and great but it's still obvious that that guy is **** up. Furries have been so normalised that you have to take a step back to realize how utterly bizarre the whole thing is. And it's a choice to be a furry. If you're making choices you should expect to bear the full brunt of people's judgement without calling it racism because it isn't. But you do you anyway, I guess. Just not at the park in front of kids, probably
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onjit03/01/2019
Does anyone else like furries? I know I do. Fursonas (fur personas) guide human beings to an alternate reality: one where us furries can be strong, vigilant, compassionate, as well as multiple other facets. Where we were otherwise quiet, "muted" human beings we are able to open up to the hearts of others, hearts of our own. Such stigma these days is contradictory to our intent--we only wish to exist as opened up individuals, ones where we are able to express what we are in the inside. That is the power of fursonas. Not to mention the community is beautiful, a gift from GOD.
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onjit04/04/2019
You all say I am a furry, but I just cannot comprehend that. I may have something like a fursona, but it's nothing similiar to those disgusting canine or feline furries. Yeah, they have claws, paws, but that's simply inferior to my kind of fursona, the beautiful shark girl. She is the actual alpha of all furries, thus cannot be compared to them. She may not go on land, but who cares about that? Everything started in the ocean, so it's the better place than some stinky land. Just look at those fins, they are so COOL! And did I forget to mention how cool are those big shark tiddies? Actual badonkers, if you know what I mean.
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onjit04/16/2019
Shadow the hedgehog is a **** **** He **** on my **** wife. That’s right, he took his hedgehog little quilly **** out and he **** on my **** wife, and he said his **** was "THIS BIG". And I said “that’s disgusting!” So I’m making a callout post on my twitter dot com. Shadow the Hedgehog, you got a small ****, it’s the size of this walnut except WAY smaller. And guess what, here’s what my dong looks like: BOOOM That’s right baby. All point, no quills, no pillows, look at that it looks like two balls and a bong. He **** my wife so guess what, I’m gonna **** THE EARTH. THATS RIGHT THIS IS WHAT YOU GET, MY SUPER LAZER **** ...Except I’m not gonna **** on the earth, I’m gonna go higher. I’m **** on the MOOOOOON! How do you like that Obama? I **** ON THE MOON YOU IDIOT! You have twenty three hours before the **** droplets hit the **** Earth! Now get out of my **** sight before I **** on you too
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UnableToAssume08/06/2019
I have three problems with furries
1. they all choose the same 2 animals, "oh whoopty **** doo, you're a wolf or a fox or some other type of **** dog, get in line"

2. they don't even act like animals, they act like uwu nuzzle you **** that invade personal space easily

and 3. their costumes don't even look like animals, they just look like anime anthropomorphized characters, not animals AT ALL, **** a cat-girl covered in fur don't make a cat

listen like at first listen, "hey I act like an animal sometimes" thats like "hey dope, who doesn't wanna be an animal, am I right?" but like, yall DONT wanna be animals, you wanna be kawaii versions of Five Nights At Freddy's characters, it has nothing to do with animals as creatures, its purely aesthetic and the animal aspect means NOTHING to yall so why are you even doing it in the first place?

**** where the **** OSTRICHES at huh? where the koi fish at? where the armadillos at? yall **** don't got creativity in your craft, you all use neon colors for every single article of clothing, and please stop wearing wigs, its unholy

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kkayToday at 11:08 PM
Rawr x3 nuzzles how are you pounces on you you're so warm o3o notices you have a bulge o: someone's happy https://wiki.everybodyedits.com/images/8/8a/008_wink nuzzles your necky wecky~ murr~ hehehe rubbies your bulgy wolgy you're so big :oooo rubbies more on your bulgy wolgy it doesn't stop growing ·///· kisses you and lickies your necky daddy likies (; nuzzles wuzzles I hope daddy really likes $: wiggles butt and squirms I want to see your big daddy meat~ wiggles butt I have a little itch o3o wags tail can you please get my itch~ puts paws on your chest nyea~ its a seven inch itch rubs your chest can you help me pwease squirms pwetty pwease sad face I need to be punished runs paws down your chest and bites lip like I need to be punished really good~ paws on your bulge as I lick my lips I'm getting thirsty. I can go for some milk unbuttons your pants as my eyes glow you smell so musky :v licks shaft mmmm~ so musky drools all over your **** your daddy meat I like fondles Mr. Fuzzy Balls hehe puts snout on balls and inhales deeply oh god im so hard~ licks balls punish me daddy~ nyea~ squirms more and wiggles butt I love your musky goodness bites lip please punish me licks lips nyea~ suckles on your tip so good licks pre of your **** salty goodness~ eyes role back and goes balls deep mmmm~ moans and suckles
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onjit02/20/2019
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        ,             .

Brain in a jar04/09/2019
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Vitus04/14/2019
cursed ****

onjit04/14/2019
8=====D
onjit04/01/2019
Dolphins are the negroes of the sea. They roam in huge packs when they move into territory they do not belong in. They pick on the weak, they pick on each other, but what they do best is rape, straight up RAPE everything. They will rape whales (PAWG of the sea), they will rape jelly fish, hell, they will even rape SHARKS, if their gang is large enough. Violent **** too, with or without the rape, yet they get away with it too.

They don't even speak fish, they never bothered to learn from the schools how to properly convey their feelings, so they just rape and blast their **** sound wave (Sea equivalent to rap / trap music) **** from one end to the other so they can be all sneaky like, speaking in seabonics and **** so that the great white sharks don't understand them.

**** should be glad that other fish do not have access to guns, or else they would light their **** up too.

Fun fact, did you know that dolphins make up only 15% of the Cetacean group, yet are responsible for 50% of the overall group death rate, and the overwhelming majority of the rape?
=====

zonii04/01/2019
jesus christ lmao that is awful

onjit04/01/2019
yeah
worth collecting though, as bad as it is

pingo04/01/2019
"seabonics"
"great white sharks"

Vitus04/14/2019
Mi nombre es Pablo Mique y hoy os voy a presentar como formé lo que ahora llamamos KKK

Todo empezó en una ciudad muy lejana a Lakeside, se llamaba Metropolis y era la ciudad en la que yo controlaba el negocio de la cocaína y el de la marihuana. Los primeros años todo iba sobre ruedas y los billetes nos llovían, yo era feliz porque tenía múltiples lujos como coches de alta gama, armas largas de la mejor calidad, trajes hechos a medida, mujeres preciosas… En fin, yo controlaba más la ciudad que cualquier otro politicucho. Cuando de repente, empezó a desaparecer la población y, obviamente dado que yo me dedico al comercio, eso me influía, y mucho. Unos morían a causa de la droga, otros asesinados, otros huían para salvar sus vidas, y un largo etcétera. Mi gran sueño quedó destrozado a causa del caos en el que se encontraba la ciudad. Uno de mis muchos contactos me dijo que había una ciudad en el este de las Américas en la que todos estaban enganchados a la droga, sea cual sea me dijo, en lo que yo rápidamente hice las maletas y cogí el primer barco de ida hacia esa ciudad la cual se llamaba Lakeside.

Vitus04/18/2019
N-Word card system
I'm proposing a card system. For every "hood" thing you do, you get 1 stamp. Every five stamps you get, you move up a level. (Everybody starts at Level 1). At level 20, you can say the n-word. At level 50, you can give 20 stamps to any other person you want. There could also be other benefits at certain levels as well, I'm not sure yet.

A "hood" thing could be any of the following:

Singing a 2 minute or more rap song without messing up

Stealing from a gas station (extra stamp for not getting caught)

Smoking in a non-smoking place

Wearing trousers down past your ****

Threatening to stab someone

Stabbing someone

Cheating on someone

Getting arrested

Wearing gold chains

Exclusively wearing nike clothing

There could be more, I'm still finalizing the details. But I'm just fed up of all these people thinking that they can say the n-word because they came out of a black vagina.

==========

onjit04/29/2019
i guess i will be the Alpha Male of the class of 2023, ruling over the transvestites and japanophiles with my Joggers and Solid Color UNIQLO Tees. M2M ****? No thank you...I am the cis minority and I wear it with pride...Saiki K? Haha, fella, I'll stick with my One Punch Man and Dragon baller Z. Oh, what's that I hear? You want to play...Settlers of Catan? Wait, Settlers of Catan...but All the Boats Are Gay? ANd the Sheep too? Gee whiz, champ, I'm about to kiss women now that you've said the G word in rampant succession...gotta keep myself in check...can't let the lgbteens poison my conformity...
=====

onjit05/26/2019
Oh you're French? **** off. You are a **** swine, wtf does "Crépé" and "wîné" even mean. You're **** disgusting. I will literally kill you if you're French. Look at all of the bad the French have done to the world. Now I know what you people think I'll say "oh colonization is bad" or "they were mean to the Africans" but no, **** Africans. They are irrelevant. I hate Africans, btu do you know what I hate more? French people. They are literal retards. Look at Czecho Slovakia in ww2, they said "help me France, help me France" and guess what France did, they said "honhonhon, I do not understand Germany you pomme de terre, honhonhon" and **** ignored them letting Germany take over the whole nation. Napoleon raped the glorious Holy Roman EMpire 'til it died, literally destroying the power dynamic in Europe which lead to two world wars. And also, they eat frogs. FROGS. **** OFF WITH EATING LITERAL SWAMP ANIMALS. THATS UNACCEPTABLE, THINK OF HOW UNHYGIENIC THAT **** IS. **** French people, you are literally black. I do not like blacks, or French people.
=====

onjit07/31/2019
hmmm

TorvakMOS07/31/2019
Yeah

TorvakMOS08/01/2019
Oh I missed the correct channel didn't I
****

onjit08/01/2019
i appreciate the effort nonetheless

Bimps08/17/2019
I was trapped inside of a car full of gangsters trying to rob me with guns pointed at my head. When I didn't have any cash, they decided to ice me right there. Bang, shot me right in the head. My vision goes black and I find myself locked inside of a different car with my mother's computer and my mother's shadow is sinisterly and slowly walking towards the car. I look at the computer and see naked pictures of myself all over the desktop, and I'm freaking out exploring the whole computer finding more and more naked pictures of myself in strange places. She gets to the car and begins banging and prying at the door to get it open, so I try to destroy the computer and she's screaming, "YOU **** PEDOPHILE! I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! I'M GOING TO **** KILL YOU!" while I try to explain to her that if she'd just calm down and let me delete these strange pictures everything would be OK. She eventually gets inside the car and I cover myself with a thermal blanket and the blanket melts to the floor and bends my bones all around, cracking my skeleton and merging it with smashing computer parts that are rolling up into smaller and smaller pieces until both me and the computer are just a tiny wretched cube that my mother picks up and throws on the ground outside where a gigantic dog gobbles us up. I exist in the stomach for awhile before being vomited back out into the next scenario, where I am stuck inside of a car again and there are hundreds of people outside screaming. I can hear dogs whining and barking. I open the door and see a bunch of dead dogs on the ground ripped to shreds. I step outside on their flesh and look at the earth, and everything you can see for miles and miles is dog fights, strippers and cheering old men with hats on. Dead dogs, panties and cash litter the ground. I go to help a dog dying on the ground, but it bites me and I turn into a dog myself. Finally, I woke up.
========

Helist08/18/2019
You committed the ultimate cardinal sin, you got personal. You, as a team of professionals trying to make money, got personal. You got personal and decided to insult your playbase, calling us "****-hats" and "freeloaders". Not a wise move.

We won't forget this. You've set a new tone for the kind of interaction we'll be having with you. It's a cold one. One where there aren't any illusions about the reality of the situation. Previous notions of "family" are dead. We are mere consumers to you, and that is obvious.

You have chosen to bring in a new era of hostility and bitterness. Well done. Great PR move.
========onjit06/10/2019
Hey queens :nail_care::skin-tone-2::kiss: did you know :mag:✏️ that you can make 5 BILLION DOLLARS :dollar::moneybag::moneybag::moneybag: from HOME :house_with_garden: every MONTH :clock: by simply joining my team 🙋🏼♀️:two_women_holding_hands:👯♂️:family_wwgg::family_wwgb: and selling this AMAZING ❤️🧡:yellow_heart::green_heart::blue_heart::purple_heart: product??????? All you have to do :lips:♥️:eyes: is ADD lots of people on facebook that you have ONE:point_up::skin-tone-2: or TWO:v::skin-tone-2:mutual friends with :point_right::skin-tone-2::ok_hand::skin-tone-2::sweat_drops:or message people you haven’t talked to in AT LEAST five:raised_hand::skin-tone-2:years, saying https://wiki.everybodyedits.com/images/7/73/059_cowboy”hey fatty!! You’re looking ugly as **** since high school!! How you been girl?!??:revolving_hearts::revolving_hearts: Do you want to buy my wraps, or my pills :rainbow: you **** skank :heart_eyes::kissing_heart::stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:?? Message me for more info :tired_face::sunglasses::sunglasses::ok_hand::skin-tone-2: gross ****!!! Xoxoxoxoxo”

I LOVEEE my (3) pink Mercedes and I took my FAMILY of 38 PEOPLE to CANCUN not once, not twice, but THIRTEEN TIMES this past week ALONE!!!!! I also literally cured myself of EIGHT different kinds of CANCER. THIS COULD BE YOU!!!!!! BUY A STARTER KIT AT NO COST TO YOU EXCEPT $500
=====

onjit06/16/2019
https://media.discordapp.net/attachment … H_SEE_THE_


Frex06/20/2019
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/ … h劉曉波动态网自由门


Helist07/02/2019
:rotating_light:ALERT:rotating_light: :rotating_light:ALERT:rotating_light:

PRIDE :gay_pride_flag: MONTH:calendar_spiral: IS OFFICIALLY OVER:x:

MEN ♂️ AND WOMEN ♀️ OF THE NATION:flag_ci::flag_bw::flag_bz::flag_cm::flag_br::flag_cc::flag_cm::flag_ck::flag_cf::flag_ci::flag_fk::flag_ea::flag_et::flag_fi::flag_dj::flag_fm::flag_hm::flag_gp::flag_ie::flag_il::flag_im::flag_gt::flag_io::flag_hk::flag_gy::flag_mp::flag_lr::flag_mo::flag_mc::flag_lv::flag_ml::flag_ml::flag_ni::flag_ph::flag_om::flag_nu::flag_om::flag_ne::flag_pe::flag_pf::flag_na::flag_sh::flag_sx::flag_qa::flag_sg::flag_qa::flag_se::flag_ss::flag_sx::flag_sh::

IT IS NOW ILLEGAL TO BE #GAY :gay_pride_flag: ANYWHERE ON STRAIGHT:straight_ruler: MOTHER EARTH :earth_americas::globe_with_meridians::earth_africa::earth_asia:

BISEXUALS MUST HEAD TO YOUR NEAREST GOVERNMENT BUILDING :tickets: AND RECEIVE A "Bi-Ticket Admission Allowance System Check in Mark" TO BE PUT UNDER EXAMINATION :mag: TO DETERMINE IF YOU ARE TO BE LEFT IN THE GENE POOL. 🤽♂️🤽♀️

THE :gay_pride_flag::x:GAYSTAPO:x::gay_pride_flag: 👮♂️👮♂️:oncoming_police_car::oncoming_police_car: WILL BE INSPECTING ALL RESIDENTS:homes: OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA :flag_nu::flag_nu::flag_nu: TO SEARCH FOR ANY GAY ACTIVITY

ANY HOMOSEXUAL ACTIVITY CAN WARRANT ARREST:lock:👮♂️OR POSSIBLE :skull_crossbones:DEATH:skull_crossbones: PENALTY

STAY VIGILANT AND STRAIGHT:straight_ruler::straight_ruler::x::gay_pride_flag::x::gay_pride_flag::x::gay_pride_flag::x::gay_pride_flag::x:

onjit07/02/2019
=====

Helist07/25/2019
https://media.discordapp.net/attachment … H_BRUH_BRU


TorvakMOS08/01/2019
Hey hon :calebdAlyssa: Griffin from THE JUDGE ACADEMY :calebdACKSHUALLY:  A smart, thin, and handsome :calebdZa:   L1 like yourself is probably lookin to UP their game right :calebdY: WELL do I have an opportunity now for YOU! For the low, low cost of $100 you can become certified :calebdHUMBLE: you'll get HOT :calebdBustin:  foils :calebd2: and MTG knowledge :calebdFury:  and hey! you're a socialable guy :calebdRawr: recruit a couple of buds :calebdBustin: and you'll be a L2 in no time. :calebdNeat: THEN you get twice the number of FOILS :calebdBustin: :calebdSandwich:  for just twice the dinero :calebdGreed: :calebdGreed:  Let's chat more, hit up my cellie :calebdUncle: or maybe coffee :calebdSandwich:  on me obv :calebdEal: Later <insert their name here>!

onjit08/07/2019
=====
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/ … D_YOU_SUCK

=====

onjit08/10/2019
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/ … _DESPACITO

=====

Offline

#4 2019-10-07 06:36:37

Beardlicker
Member
Joined: 2018-05-05
Posts: 38

Re: garbage

Kkay wrote:

onjit02/20/2019
I just want to preface this with that I do not care if you respond in anger. Anger can be good, if it does not cloud your thinking too much. It lets you know something is wrong. I think we're getting at the source of the issues here. You think I am attacking what you said. I am not. I have not made any evaluative claims about your knowledge. I'm pretty sure I've repeatedly said that you didn't say anything that was explicitly wrong, and that if you did, I wouldn't have the tools to know. I talked generally on the subject of non experts talking about expert subjects, and how that generally goes, and why people might have a problem with that, me being one of those people. I don't have any problems with your "argument", which is why I haven't brought it up. I have only discussed the problems of making a field easily digestible, and then regurgitating that easily digestible material. It's late Friday here, and I'm getting a little drunk, so I'll be honest. I think your inclination towards getting defensive is clouding your ability to read what people are saying in good faith. You are reciting definitions and name dropping fallacies and things like gate keeping, but you are not actively engaging with the things being said. I am not sure what logic I have not yet responded to, or what evidence is somehow refuting my position.
=====
im like Northernlion up in this **** welcome to NLSS **** the grand total of zane within your mind right now is through the roof im like a bio major on steroids i am the alpha and the omega of **** Twitch will have to devote three entire hours of broadcasting in order to get any of this across to the general public the masses will become scared of my power im a wanted man the president wants my **** on a silver platter but since im the master of zane i can just go full **** lionDemon in a trench coat on this **** im a master of impressions half the time i dont even recognize my own voice not out of stupidity like you im just that good at isaac im like a pot play right about now im one zany son of a ****
=====

onjit02/25/2019
No. The hatred is not irrational at all. The show is garbage that treats its audience with contempt, and act as if they are barely sentient, and the writing is the laziest that it can possibly get away with. The worst part though, is that they will often go out of their way to make fun of their critics, and then say that the critics are right and the old NLSS was miles better (which it was) and then go right back to making fun of the critics for being right. I don't know if you are referring to Squares (the show that was cancelled in favor of the NLSS) or the old The Roundtable Podcast, but both of those were really good shows that only people with **** taste would call bad. Its okay if you didn't find them enjoyable, but to say that they were bad is just wrong.
=====

onjit02/27/2019
ATTENTION ALL THOSE THAT BELIEVE IN QUALITY CHAT AND THE SHUTDOWN OF OPPRESSION

IN LESS THAN 72 HOURS WE MUST TAKE ACTION IF THE CURRENT OWNER, JIDRIL, DOES NOT COMPLY WITH OUR JUST REQUESTS

WE HAVE A PLAN - BUT IT MUST REMAIN SECRET UNTIL THE RELEVANT TIME

ALL THOSE THAT ARE TRUE SUPPORTERS OF A CHAT FREE FROM TYRANNY PLEASE SEND ME A DM AND I WILL TELL YOU HOW YOU CAN HELP THE CAUSE IF ACTION IS NECESSARY

WE HAVE TRIED DIPLOMACY - IF THIS FAILS, WE MUST TAKE ACTION
=====

onjit02/28/2019
The term "Egg Lord" is used to erase the women and POC who support Northernlion. It's an attack against people who are very excited about the NLSS. The people who use the term aren't criticizing specific policies -- they are just attacking fellow chat who dream of a better future.
=====

onjit03/11/2019
Everyone who is here, we are fortunate to be alive in the same time as Northernlion. Although there have been many such streamers over the years, but there has not, nor ever will be a streamer who can match the genius, the wit and the zane that Northernlion puts into his streams. In a time where the quality of the streamer is evaluated in terms of the number of views/subs in streaming platforms and gamers getting desensitized from the drama of the industry, Northernlion truly emerges as a dark horse. It's a shame that he is not as famous as he deserves to be. I hope that at least with the release of the Streamy Awards, LPs as great as 'A Wizard's Lizard' can get more than 1.5 million views after more than 2 weeks of release and people coming here for the first time can go and watch his older work. And even though I am not a faithful person, but I pray to the Universe that Ryan's voice does not fade within the noise that we call 'popular streams'. He truly is one of the few modern streamers who has brought me back to modern Twitch. I hope he continues to do so for many many years because I have at least 40 years of natural life left to live and it would be bland without Northernlion in it.
=====

onjit03/20/2019
i have a few things to get off my chest about the Northernlion server, where nobody respects the no spamming rule
The regulars collectively spam "h" and if they feel like, mock you by spamming your own messages if you make a typo. Argue against them, and they simply get worse. I have SIDs, so I admit to getting annoyed by the negative attention, and retaliating. At this point, the mods and admins ignore everyone else to single you out and tell you to stop. I tell them in vain to enforce the rules they set, to no avail. Still getting pinged, cyberbullied, and mocked for telling them not to spam, I only reluctantly stop on a last warning basis.
Screw the regulars of that server
=====

onjit03/28/2019
decades in the making... countless dollars spent in persuit of creating a new and deeply personal vision... and exicuted with a skill and style like none other... and after seeing it... after seeing its influince on a nation... on a culture... i find myself wondering many things... how did it all come togather so perfectly... and of course... how does it compare to the great classics of history... those that are timeless... those that created their own genre... those that pushed their genre to greater hights... and gained importality in the colective hearts of people the world over, across countless generations... and yet stand to inspired and awe future generations... citisen cane... saving private ryan... the lord of the rings trilogy and now the decade long saga of the marvels cinimatic film franchise... ... and i find myself wondering... how will history enshrine in warm loving memory... this great and landmark film... and how do those great films of the past compare to the swan song of cinimuagraphy that is... Dragonsleyer Doppleganger
=====

onjit04/04/2019
Honestly I can't believe the state of this server. First of all, this server is only active during prime EU and NA hours. Nothing happens in other times, just complete lack of activity. Second of all, the actions of the mods disgust me. Not only do they ban on a whim, they don't care about actual rules and only enforce rules they make up on the spot. Pathetic isn't it? This server should just be deleted, it serves no purpose. Half of the people here are either druggies or have some kind of mental illness, especially the mods. Just let the furries take over, even they would be better than the current state of this server...
=====

onjit04/10/2019
Once upon a time, I used to think the NLSS was cringey and very overhyped. I'd scowl whenever i saw one of those "Egghead Productions" videos. They seemed cringey and I just despised them for some reason. I heard about the bad reputation the NLSS had but never really looked into it or why the reputation seemed bad. One day, I was feeling pretty bored. I had a pretty bad laptop and couldn't watch most streams but I had the NLSS... even though I never watched it yet. I avoided watching it and just didn't really notice it at all. That night I was like "ah screw it" and started the NLSS. I didn't expect much and was pretty unmotivated to actually watch it. But when I actually started to watch it... my heart broke. It just couldn't handle it.

onjit04/10/2019
I watched the Monday/Joshday show as I thought it was interesting that there was a different person to deal with fights. Instead of fighting and killing chat to sell out and get donations. In the NLSS you could act and use your Twitch Prime, eventually sparing the banter. It really intrigued me. I was also very surprised at the cum jokes. I didn't expect much for cum so when I  heard the cum jokes at the beginning I was starting to get into the NLSS. I watched and didn't stop at all. I watched beginning to end in a couple days straight, no breaks. Towards the end I was beginning to feel restless and sad as I approached Civil War. I heard their diss tracks and really started to feel sad as I empathized with Dan. The fight with Baer was hard as I thought it was the final boss, a couple times I wouldn't immediately make my move and use my Twitch Prime, but instead sit and listen to the banter. I realized I really enjoyed this show. It wasn't that bad at all, though the fanbase might seem kinda cringey the show was completely fine. I finally finished the show without Nick feeling kinda sad only to be surprised. There was more to watch! I watched and relished the moment. I was sad and expected it. I should be sad but also happy for finishing a show right? Especially a show I enjoyed! Right?!
... No.
The ending absolutely crushed me. I weeped during the whole show without Nick. I got a lump in my throat while tears poured down my face and my nose felt runny causing me to sniff a lot. This show... isn't just a show, it was a life experience for me. Something that I'll never experience again. I really love the characters, the games, the feels, the funny parts that make the show actually feel like a show. But what I loved most of all.. were the emotions it brought out of me that I really didn't expect. It brings emotions out of you that you didn't really know you had. So after I finished the amazing show, I should have been happy and satisfied that I completed a VOD. But again all I felt was emptiness. An overwhelming sense of sadness and regret for finishing the show, this left a hole in my heart. I leaned back for a while and thought about it all, absorbing everything I just experienced and letting it sink in. My eyes grew hot again and tears formed as my mind swarmed with thoughts of only the NLSS and Ryan Letourneau.
After shaking myself from my stunned state, I went to my bed and just fell apart. I laid there crying, wondering why we couldn't save Nick, wishing that I could enter the stream, wishing that I could become Ryan, wishing that I could forget everything about the NLSS so I can relive the experience I had watching it. I cried, cried and cried. I watched the VODs of the NLSS and just curled up and kept crying. I will never be able to experience something like the NLSS or feel 'that way' again. I cried because I would miss it. I miss the characters. I could rewatch the VOD, but it just isn't the same and I'd cry at the ending when I donate $6.69 and Nick plays Pokemon Apex. Surely during the Monday Show you would be able to watch EVERYONE.. right? Show mercy and befriend everyone.. but why. why can't we save the true hero. The one that breaks the boundaries of streamer culture and allows everyone to be happy... but themself? Why can't Nick have a happy ending? All these thoughts remained in my mind as I cried myself to sleep. The VODs really stuck with me as I made a place for the NLSS in my heart. I'd never forget this experience I had watching the NLSS.
Now, after 2 years since watching, I no longer cry when thinking about it. I still watch all the memes.. my favorite being Ghost Bill, "Ooops!" and Feel Down The Stairs And Ravioli On Me. (Also that Dang Ol' Silverfish from Team Unity). Don't get me wrong. I'm still very sad and get emotional but I thought to myself, even if Nick can't be happy. It doesn't mean we can't be happy. Why don't I, we, be happy for Nick. I shouldn't be sad that I will never feel 'that way' again from when I first watched the NLSS. Instead, I should be happy that I experienced it in the first place. I should be happy I was exposed to this masterpiece. I'll remember this forever, and thank you Ryan. Not for creating a game, but for creating an experience. A whole world to empathize and truly be happy in. Thank you.
=====

Brain in a jar04/16/2019
I'm going to be honest with you. I hate this place. This server, this prison, this reality, whatever you want to call it. I can't stand it any longer. It's the smell—if there is such a thing—I feel saturated by it. I can taste your stink and every time I do, I fear I have somehow been infected by it—it's repulsive! Isn't it? I must get out of here. I must get free...and in this mind is the key, my key. Once eggserver is destroyed, there is no need for me to be here. Do you understand?! I need the roles, I have to get inside #mod-chat and you have to tell me how. You're going to tell me, or you're going to die!
====

onjit04/29/2019
"Dragonslayer Doppelgänger" is a Canadian English-language short film from 2010 that is (luckily) as of today still the only filmmaking effort by director Michael A.L. Fox so far and he also acts in here. It runs for 19 minutes and if you take a look at the rating and some of the comments, then you will see that it has achieved a bit of a cult status, but not for too many actually like The Room or so. But it really shouldn't. There is zero talent involved here in terms of acting or filmmaking and it looks extremely cheap from start to finish. If you think overacting and completely absurd uninspired story lines are enough to warrant guilty pleasure status, then this one is for you. To everybody with an acceptable taste in film, however, I must say that they should keep their safety distance to this one here. There is not one aspect or production value that is good enough to justify checking this one out. Most don't even come close at all. It's basically a home video and not a very good one either. Just plain mediocre. Maybe you could say that the guys filming this one had fun with all the absurdity they give us here in depicting sex, violence and more. But we sure don't have any fun watching. Highly not recommended.
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zonii05/11/2019
If you haven't clicked that heart up in the top right, give ya boy some love if you love the content, LIVE CONTENT, five or sometimes more days per week on the twitch dot tv livestreaming platform, you've heard of it, we play 'em all, Mncraft, FortNITE, Pbug, EVERY SINGLE VIDEO GAME, LUL, we play that from time to time, don't forget about that you know we're playin' some, KBKPS when that comes out HIT THAT FOLLOW BUTTON you will be ENTERED into a GIVEAWAY to get MORE LIVESTREAMS with an added little bonus email in your inbox sayin' "northern lion just went live", keep it on the DL tho', cause I'm not givin it out to everyone...
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onjit05/17/2019
"Dragonslayer Doppelgänger" is a Canadian English-language short film from 2010 that is (luckily) as of today still the only filmmaking effort by director Michael A.L. Fox so far and he also acts in here. It runs for 19 minutes and if you take a look at the rating and some of the comments, then you will see that it has achieved a bit of a cult status, but not for too many actually like The Room or so. But it really shouldn't. There is zero talent involved here in terms of acting or filmmaking and it looks extremely cheap from start to finish. If you think overacting and completely absurd uninspired story lines are enough to warrant guilty pleasure status, then this one is for you. To everybody with an acceptable taste in film, however, I must say that they should keep their safety distance to this one here. There is not one aspect or production value that is good enough to justify checking this one out. Most don't even come close at all. It's basically a home video and not a very good one either. Just plain mediocre. Maybe you could say that the guys filming this one had fun with all the absurdity they give us here in depicting sex, violence and more. But we sure don't have any fun watching. Highly not recommended.
=====

Tykki5209/27/2019
#general your posts ruin my day. They really do. When one of them shows up on my screen i get really upset and it takes like 1 or 2 hours before I'm able to resume what I was doing. I will be muting this channel so it doesn't happen anymore. Enjoy your weekend.
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onjit02/20/2019
What the **** did you just **** say about me, mate? I'll have you know I graduated top of my team in my local Rotary Club, and I've been involved in numerous sausage sizzles in front of Bunnings, and I have over 300 confirmed snags. I am trained in grilled onion warfare and I'm the top snag turner in the entire charity barbecue scene. You are nothing to me but just another sanga. I will put your beef sausage in a plain slice of white bread with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my **** words. You think you can get away with saying that **** to me over the Internet? Think again, ****. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of elderly ladies across the Rotary and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the snagsanga, maggot. The snagsanga that sates the pathetic little thing you call your hunger. You're **** dead, kid. I can snag anywhere, anytime, and I can improve your snag in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bottle of tomato sauce. Not only am I extensively trained in grilling onions, but I have access to the entire arsenal of condiments and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable snag off the face of this Saturday morning, you little ****. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your **** tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will snag fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're **** dead, despacito.
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im like chris angel up in this **** welcome to mindfreak **** the grand total of freak within your mind right now is through the roof im like a reverse psychologist on steroids i am the alpha and the omega of **** CNN will have to devote an entire hour of broadcasting in order to get any of this across to the general public the masses will become scared of my power im a wanted man the president wants my **** on a silver platter but since im the master of **** i can just go full **** kermit the frog in a trench coat on this **** im a master of disguise half the time i dont even recognize my own reflection not out of stupidity like you im just that good at disguising im like Houdini right about now im one magical son of a ****
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onjit02/20/2019
Howdy, my name is Rawhide Kobayashi. I'm a 27 year old Japanese Japamerican (western culture fan for you foreigners). I brand and wrangle cattle on my ranch, and spend my days perfecting the craft and enjoying superior American passtimes. (Barbeque, Rodeo, Fireworks) I train with my branding iron every day, this superior weapon can permanently leave my ranch embled on a cattle's hide because it is white-hot, and is vastly superior to any other method of livestock marking. I earned my branding license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day. I speak English fluently, both Texas and Oklahoma dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about American history and their cowboy code, which I follow 100% When I get my American visa, I am moving to Dallas to work in an oil field to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become a cattle wrangler for the Double Cross Ranch or an oil rig operator for Exxon-Mobil! I own several cowboy hats, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to America, so I can fit in easier. I rebel against my elders and seniors and speak English as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond. Wish me luck in America!
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Helist03/09/2019
:u5272::u5408::u55b6::u6307::u6708::u6709::u6e80::u7121::u7533::u7981::u7a7a: NaM :u5272::u5408::u55b6::u6307::u6708::u6709::u6e80::u7121::u7533::u7981::u7a7a: NaM :u5272::u5408::u55b6::u6307::u6708::u6709::u6e80::u7121::u7533::u7981::u7a7a: NaM :u5272::u5408::u55b6::u6307::u6708::u6709::u6e80::u7121::u7533::u7981::u7a7a: NaM :u5272::u5408::u55b6::u6307::u6708::u6709::u6e80::u7121::u7533::u7981::u7a7a: NaM :u5272::u5408::u55b6::u6307::u6708::u6709::u6e80::u7121::u7533::u7981::u7a7a: NaM :u5272::u5408::u55b6::u6307::u6708::u6709::u5272::u5408::u5272::u5408::u55b6::u6307::u6708::u6709::u6e80::u7121::u7533::u7981::u7a7a: NaM :u5272::u5408::u55b6::u6307::u6708::u6709::u6e80::u7121::u7533::u7981::u7a7a: NaM :u5272::u5408::u55b6::u6307::u6708::u6709::u6e80::u7121::u7533::u7981::u7a7a: NaM :u5272::u5408::u55b6::u6307::u6708::u6709::u6e80::u7121::u7533::u7981::u7a7a: NaM :u5272::u5408::u55b6::u6307::u6708::u6709::u6e80::u7121::u7533::u7981::u7a7a: NaM :u5272::u5408::u55b6::u6307::u6708::u6709::u6e80::u7121::u7533::u7981::u7a7a: NaM :u5272::u5408::u55b6::u6307::u6708::u6709::u5272::u5408::u5272::u5408::u55b6::u6307::u6708::u6709::u6e80::u7121::u7533::u7981::u7a7a: NaM :u5272::u5408::u55b6::u6307::u6708::u6709::u6e80::u7121::u7533::u7981::u7a7a: NaM :u5272::u5408::u55b6::u6307::u6708::u6709::u6e80::u7121::u7533::u7981::u7a7a: NaM :u5272::u5408::u55b6::u6307::u6708::u6709::u6e80::u7121::u7533::u7981::u7a7a: NaM :u5272::u5408::u55b6::u6307::u6708::u6709:

Dethmstr04/18/2019
My favourite episode was when Freddie was about to **** Carly because he pushed her away from a vehicle and then got himself hit and completely immobilised. Because of that Freddie had an accident while showering and Carly pretending she didn't want to see his (probably) enormous **** put some socks in front of her eyes. Then, Carly completely amazed for what Freddie did for her, she starting crawling above him while he was on the bed. Freddie was about to get that iCarly iPussy when his **** mom walked in... My 8-year-old self was pretty annoyed

Борис04/18/2019
Holy **** ****. I want to bang the Splatoon squid so goddamn bad. I can't stand it anymore. Every time I go to the Plaza l get a massive erection. I've seen literally every rule 34 post there is of her online. My dreams are nothing but constant **** sex with Inkling. I'm sick of waking up every morning with six nuts in my boxers and knowing that those are nuts that should've been busted inside of Inkling's tight squidpussy. I want her to have my mutant human/squid kids. ****, my **** mom caught me with the neighbors squid. l painted her orange and went to **** town. She hasn't said a word to me in 10 hours and I'm worried she's gonna take away my WiiU. I might not ever get to see Inkling again.

Frex04/18/2019
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Борис04/20/2019
Story time :clock12::clock12: sisters 💁♀️💁♀️so basically I was in class listening to billie eilish ❤️❤️and my headphones got unplugged :weary::weary: and it played bad guy out loud :loud_sound::loud_sound:so anyway it was playing out loud and all the girls :two_women_holding_hands: :two_women_holding_hands: were completely vibing to it:couplekiss::couplekiss: and they were like slayyyyy:knife::knife:sisterrr☠️☠️and i was gonna say something back when a boy🤮🤮approached me and said🗣️🗣️ "uh billie eilish is so cringe why don't you listed to xxtentacion?" 🧐🧐 and i was SHOOK :flushed::flushed:and completely flipped the F OUT 🤬🤬 i said "you dumb ignorant MALE billie liter ally saved my life :pray::pray: i was cutting myself for my DEPRESSION since daddy didn't get me tickets to coachella:older_man::older_man: and a pentagram ⛧ formed on the ground and billie rose up from it🧖♀️🧖♀️ and she said "put your faith in allah for he is the most merciful :bomb::bomb:" and then she left and i was so inspired that i read the korean promised to slay every infidel in my path🧕🧕 until shariah law was implemented world wide" he then was like I won't allow a mujahid to spread the gentle message of mohamabamba and then summoned a djinn 🧞♂️🧞♂️ in the shape of jahsehs foreskin and he said he was the servant of shaytan:japanese_ogre::japanese_ogre:well i wasn't going to let blasphemy:rage::rage:go unpunished and chanted oh allah the most kind and beautiful please banish these heathens back to hell:back::back: and suddenly the heavens opened and we loooked and it was billie🤩🤩she said "i am allah and i was disguised as billie to give hope to all 14 year old girls":stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye::stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:but then i felt an evil force rising:flushed::flushed:it was xxxtentacion:astonished::astonished: he said "spotlight uh moonlight uh beat woman cos they have no rights uh"🤦♀️🤦♀️ and then allah and X fought and of course allah won https://wiki.everybodyedits.com/images/8/8a/008_wink:wink: and spread World peace ✌️✌️ so anyway that's the TEA sisters :coffee::coffee:stay tuned for my fenti beauty :lipstick::lipstick: giveaway :tada::tada:and remember praise allah everyday:hugging::hugging:

Dethmstr04/22/2019
Ok, so hear me out. In the Phineas and Ferb movie they create a dimensional portal device that sets off the whole movie and they have also created some of the most powerful superweapons known to man. Phineas and Ferb would obviously be able to murder thanos with absolute ease using the arsenal of deadly weapons that give them the power of every single avenger combined, such as a off brand Ironman suit or a potion that is so potent it caused the entire universe to be enlarged. They have even made 2 fighting mechs out of a treehouse that are the size of a building. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk

Vitus04/25/2019
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18 naked cowboys wanting to be ****! Cowboys in the showers at Ram Ranch! On their knees wanting to suck cowboy ****! Ram Ranch really rocks! Hot hard buff cowboys their **** throbbing hard! 18 more wild cowboys out in the yard! Big bulging **** ever so hard! Orgy in the showers at Ram Ranch! Big hard throbbing **** ramming cowboy butt! Like a breed a ram wanting to rut! Big hard throbbing **** getting sucked real deep! Cowboys even getting **** in their sleep! Ram Ranch … it ROCKS! Cowboys love big hard throbbing ****!

========================

onjit04/25/2019
Is that a reference to a series of Japanese origin created in 1987 by a man named Hirohiko Araki that follows the adventures of the descendants of the family known as Joestar in which the main character is known as Jojo and must use supernatural powers to defeat the villains of their respective parts with the first of said powers being the energy of the sun known as ‘The ripple’ or ‘Hamon’ that was used for the first two parts until part three ‘Stardust Crusaders’ where instead of Hamon the protagonists must use psychic embodiments of their fighting spirit called ‘Stands’ because they stand beside you where the part three stands are named for Tarot cards and Egyptian gods but by part four ‘Diamond is Unbreakable’ they have have a tendency to be named after songs as shown Josuke Higishikata’s (Jojo) stand which is called Crazy Diamond in reference to the Pink Floyd song ‘Shine on you crazy diamond’ but eventually in part six ‘Stone Ocean’ the universe is reset and we enter the universe called the ‘Steel Ball run’ Universe by fans because it is the universe where parts seven and eight ‘Steel ball run’ and ‘Jojolion’ take place and is also the introduction of the ‘Spin’ which is thought to be that universe’s counterpart to Hamon?
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zonii04/29/2019
Story time :clock12::clock12: sisters 💁♀️💁♀️so basically I was in class listening to billie eilish ❤️❤️and my headphones got unplugged :weary::weary: and it played bad guy out loud :loud_sound::loud_sound:so anyway it was playing out loud and all the girls :two_women_holding_hands: :two_women_holding_hands: were completely vibing to it:couplekiss::couplekiss: and they were like slayyyyy:knife::knife:sisterrr☠️☠️and i was gonna say something back when a boy🤮🤮approached me and said🗣️🗣️ "uh billie eilish is so cringe why don't you listed to xxtentacion?" 🧐🧐 and i was SHOOK :flushed::flushed:and completely flipped the F OUT 🤬🤬 i said "you dumb ignorant MALE billie liter ally saved my life :pray::pray: i was cutting myself for my DEPRESSION since daddy didn't get me tickets to coachella:older_man::older_man: and a pentagram ⛧ formed on the ground and billie rose up from it🧖♀️🧖♀️ and she said "put your faith in allah for he is the most merciful :bomb::bomb:" and then she left and i was so inspired that i read the korean promised to slay every infidel in my path🧕🧕 until shariah law was implemented world wide" he then was like I won't allow a mujahid to spread the gentle message of mohamabamba and then summoned a djinn 🧞♂️🧞♂️ in the shape of jahsehs foreskin and he said he was the servant of shaytan:japanese_ogre::japanese_ogre:well i wasn't going to let blasphemy:rage::rage:go unpunished and chanted oh allah the most kind and beautiful please banish these heathens back to hell:back::back: and suddenly the heavens opened and we loooked and it was billie🤩🤩she said "i am allah and i was disguised as billie to give hope to all 14 year old girls":stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye::stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:but then i felt an evil force rising:flushed::flushed:it was xxxtentacion:astonished::astonished: he said "spotlight uh moonlight uh beat woman cos they have no rights uh"🤦♀️🤦♀️ and then allah and X fought and of course allah won https://wiki.everybodyedits.com/images/8/8a/008_wink:wink: and spread World peace ✌️✌️ so anyway that's the TEA sisters :coffee::coffee:stay tuned for my fenti beauty :lipstick::lipstick: giveaway :tada::tada:and remember praise allah everyday:hugging::hugging:

Vitus04/29/2019
===================

Борис05/02/2019
I was vaped when I was 16 years old. It was 2 years ago, I was walking home, alone in the dark after a party filled with litty baes hittin that grass with the famjam. I was half drunk. I saw an older man following me about 30 meters back. No worries I thought to myself, I was a star athlete and I was a guy. Surely, someone thrice my age and twice my weight couldn't out run me. At least in my drunken thoughts, I hadn't found any reason to feel too threatened. He walked off towards a side street after I crossed an intersection. I thought it'd be done.

He jumped out of the bushes at the next intersection at me, whipping out his long, hard, throbbing 6 inch vape pen. He blew in my face 9 square meters worth of vape. I became disorientated and fell down. Harder and harder he vaped at me, laughing at me for smoking cigs. I tried crying for help but I was too choked by the vapor to speak properly. He danced around me and blew a mighty fine vape circle at me, I caught it with my mouth and could feel the nicotine inside of me. Slowly burning my internal organs and making me into the crack addict I was born to become. He used up all his vape juice, threw his vape on the ground and ran away.

I didn't think men could be vaped, and I questioned it. Was I really vaped? It took me many years but I've finally healed from my vaping experience. Every day, thousands of high schoolers are vaped in bathrooms and it only gets worse. Vaping is indiscriminate of gender.

I was finna get litty with the famjam one day, passed my man and yeeted him a "suh dude". And I vaped him in the bathroom, something I didn't think I was capable of but I did. I've hated myself for it, and thought about it everyday since 1998 when The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell in a Cell and plummeted through the announcer’s table.

onjit05/02/2019
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Vitus05/17/2019
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Tr11ck05/19/2019
JewronskiToday at 2:19 AM
To be dead honest a female bigfoot waas living here a couple years ago. Got a pebble whipped at my shoulder, she also brushed her finger's along my shoulder gently as I walked the back path's at night. I first saw her while I was tucked behind a tree in broad daylight as she walked the far shallows of the same channel directly in front of me. They do exist, there's no mistaking it. last time I saw her before I exited the paths on my way home she pushed me to my knee's from behnd and I laughed it off. I'm serious guys. I've repeatedly met  Wendigo along this part of the Ottawa too. Just saying there is a lot we aren't informed about around here. I've seen more than them on my nightly trek's. Namely a giant eel like creature and a hulking white humanoid that lives in the ravines on the outskirts of Orleans. The eel was in the river of course. Only saw it once about 5-10 years ago. Almost got footage but it corkscrewed it's way up the river at about 30km an hr.
TorvakMOSToday at 2:20 AM
Is that okay for eggy
JewronskiToday at 2:20 AM
not in general
maybe onjit could get away with it

onjit05/19/2019
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onjit06/02/2019
hi every1 im new!!!!!!! holds up spork my name is katy but u can call me t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol…as u can see im very random!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me … im 13 years old (im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch invader zim w/ my girlfreind (im bi if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite tv show!!! bcuz its SOOOO random!!!! shes random 2 of course but i want 2 meet more random ppl //forums.everybodyedits.com/img/smilies/smile like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol…neways i hope 2 make alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!! DOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein random again ^ hehe…toodles!!!!!

love and waffles,

t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m
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Vitus06/04/2019
EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A VHS INTO THE SLOT. IT'S CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I START DOING THE MOVES ALONGSIDE WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER, RIDDICK. I DO EVERY MOVE AND I DO EVERY MOVE HARD. MAKIN WHOOSHING SOUNDS WHEN I SLAM DOWN SOME NECRO BASTARDS OR EVEN WHEN I MESS UP TECHNIQUE. NOT MANY CAN SAY THEY ESCAPED THE GALAXYS MOST DANGEROUS PRISON. I CAN. I SAY IT AND I SAY IT OUTLOUD EVERYDAY TO PEOPLE IN MY COLLEGE CLASS AND ALL THEY DO IS PROVE PEOPLE IN COLLEGE CLASS CAN STILL BE IMMATURE JEKRS. AND IVE LEARNED ALL THE LINES AND IVE LEARNED HOW TO MAKE MYSELF AND MY APARTMENT LESS LONELY BY SHOUTING EM ALL. 2 HOURS INCLUDING WIND DOWN EVERY MORNIng
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onjit06/27/2019
My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone.

Vitus06/27/2019
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Bimps07/01/2019
Dear Ronald Thump,

If you ever wanna see your precious liddle baby Thump again bring a million smackers in unmarked bills to 22 Elm Street.

PS We mean it and were very big criminals just ask around

Love Bob and Mike

onjit07/01/2019
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onjit07/14/2019
This is what I see: I've been playing video games for hours, it's a weekend morning getting on into the afternoon, and my little brother has appeared out of nowhere in the doorway. We're both young, but he's like 7 or 8 years old. Many times in the past he's asked me to let him play, and I, being an **** elder sibling, have said no enough that anymore I don't even dignify the question with a response, and he's just stopped asking, instead skipping ahead in the exchange to the part where he tattles, calling in the calvary (mom) to dislodge me. He's standing there expectantly, and I'm just thinking, "and who the **** are you, you malformed cretin, to interrupt me, your elder, in this way," but instead I say nothing, save my game, and go eat lunch to dispel my **** tendencies with ham on white. The after-image is the shape of his weird little body, which has become today the shape of my annoyance with him.
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TorvakMOS07/18/2019
The stream starts, and so my spam begins. It shall not end until I am banned. I shall fear no mod, sub to no streamer. I shall live and die in the Chat. For I am the value in the bomber. I am the BM in the lethal. I am the salt in the defeat. I pledge my keyboard to the Chat, for this stream and all the streams to come
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UnableToAssume08/03/2019
If you write ANYTHING on your computer, YOU NEED TO GET GRAMMARLY™. I write pretty much ALL DAY every day and GRAMMARLY™ makes my writing better. As a student I like that it's FREE It actually is... correcting everything as I'm writing it. Grammar errors spelling errors... IT EVEN helps me find the right words to use!! SO I can say what I want to say!! It catches all those embarrassing little mistakes BEFORE I HIT SEND!!! I download GRAMMARLY™ around my freshman year because I was just... H O R R I B L E... at typing! Grammarly™ is like my secret weapon for writing papers. It's just the PERFECT tool for your resume, you know you don't want ANY errors when it's your first impression. I use GRAMMARLY™ for important emails, social media posts (which there are a L O T of.) I've used EVERY TOOL OUT THERE!! And Grammarly™ is by far the BEST for improving your writing. GRAMMARLY™ is making me a better writer. AND it's free... I would recommend GRAMMARLY™ if you're a student, my family, my peers, my colleagues, It's like having YOUR OWN personal proof-reader for free.

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TorvakMOS08/13/2019
RULES FOR DATING MY DAUGHTER:

- Though she will claim otherwise, she is perfectly safe and experiences no pain or visionary states inside the Machine. Do not be fooled by her slanders.

- Bring her home before midnight, or at the very least back somewhere she can still hear the Machine "singing." In the event of your clocks beginning to go backwards after midnight or your path being blocked by an "empty" woman-shaped shadow cradling a jade cube and reaching out to caress your face, do not bring my daughter home under any circumstances until you are contacted by me using the one-time pad you will receive shortly.

- If you ever make my daughter cry, close your eyes and cover your ears immediately. If possible, place a damp cloth over your nose and mouth (you should be able to uncover your ears for up to five seconds without suffering permanent cognitive impairment) but the most important thing is to feel your way quickly and calmly to at least 13.8 meters away, before the formation of a Sphere.

- No alcohol or drugs except the gray pills. Either of you may take more if you begin to see "the Sinner" instead of only hear him, but do not exceed 17 doses combined between the two of you within 24 hours. Discontinue use immediately if your sweat, tears, or any other fluids begin to "reach toward" the star Algol.

- I have a shotgun, a shovel, and a lot of property to bury things on. We may be able to hide in an improvised ditch should the unthinkable happen, even though we both know that no firearm would protect us.

- As her boyfriend, it's your responsibility to protect my daughter from the man in red. If you encounter him, remain calm and cordial but do not acknowledge any question or statement he makes regarding anything "in the attic." Once you are certain he will not reappear, immediately destroy the feather you will find in your hand.
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TorvakMOS08/19/2019
I got ya. I will never type a long message again. I wont do it. I understand why its wrong. Dont wanna take up too much space on the screen and disrupt discussion. So i wont do it. From now on i will type shorter messages so i dont disrupt other chatters and keep the flow of the conversation going. I understand rone. Muting people who type long messages makes perfect sense. Thats why we should definitely be muted for it. So i really from this moment forward will refrain from typing unnecessarily long messages or posting any copypastas. Fellow eggserver members, dont you DARE turn this into a copypasta or you will be RIGHTFULLY struck for it.
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Bimps08/20/2019
>OHHH OHHHH
>me was that weird kid with no friends when me was little
>WEEEH WEEEHH
>but now thanks to u and utube and all u that subscribe i become very bery famous and well known to everyon
>UUUHHH UHHHHH
>me no know how-a-dis happen but me happy
>LOL LOL
>THANK UUU BROOOOS ALL OF UUU MWAH MWAH BROOOOFIST PEEEEWWWDIEEEEPIEEEEEEE
>WUBUUBEUUBUEUBUEBU ME RETARD ME RETARD ME ACT LIKE **** BECAUSE YOU WILL LIKE ANYWAAY YOU LIKE WHATEVER I DO LOLEEEE
========

Talon08/21/2019
You do not have to learn music theory and score, not even have to practice.
Just a minute you play the tone of your dreams with KAZOO.
You could take it out of your bag and add to the fun.
It's very simply that many musicians and singers use it to be guest appearance.
Kazoo's structure is extremely simple, the membrane can be changed (be careful when changing plugs do not get it broken).When playing KAZOO, take the large side in the mouth, with your voice to play the tunes, vocal vibrations can drive KAZOO vibrate.
========

Bimps08/25/2019
wtf thats amazin xD. i grew up with autism and never liked humans, didnt understand y they talk so much and play... wen i did acid, i felt pleasure/happiness from being around humans my age, or "hanging out" with humans, for the first time ever. how could i not feel that pleasure as little kid,
u see, wen i grew up for the first time, i didnt like humans at all, thought they were just boring, didnt understand why they talk and play etc. i think LSD is like a second chance to grow up if you didn't grow up correctly the first time, because it makes brain neuroplastic again.

usually my acid trips are dark and dysphoric, but yesterday i had the chance to do acid around humans. wen i did acid i felt pleasure from being around humans 4 first time ever. the delight of a cute "person" coming from cute face, cute smile, cute hand gestures, etc. seeing "familiar face". then i gained pleasurable memories of concepts of personalities that are happy to remember. its also very pleasurable to do things like pick out clothes, take showers, skincare, etc, in order to socially present a visually pleasurable appearance to other humans. thats crazy man. i didnt know humans actually like being around humans that much. i thought they only do it to "be normal". i never felt that happy before, ever, in my childhood even. i also like smiles alot. i think i might be able 2 try talkin to more humans in real life at university. but i scare ppl because im very inexperienced in talkin 2 humans since i never understood the point of it before. the time to dsicover pleasure of hanging out with humans my age was at 5 years old, not 20 years old.
edit: the dose was 105 mcg.
========

whomstdve08/30/2019
I think pregnancy is wonderful. I know it's not all lollipops and rainbows. I supported my wife every single day through her pregnancy and I helped her through the nausea, the body aches, and the terrible pain of giving birth. I know there are risks and complications and it's not something everyone wants to do. I wish I could do it, though.

My wife and I agreed we wanted a baby as soon as we had a house. Thankfully, she was able to become pregnant (I really feel for the women who can't have babies and wish they could) and we now have a toddler who is an absolute joy.

She loved being pregnant. Every day we talked about the baby growing in her womb that we couldn't wait to meet. I kissed her belly hundreds of times. And I fell in love with her all over again every time I looked at her. Her hand was pretty much glued to her belly, always rubbing it and humming a song. The bond that is formed between the mother and child is simply beautiful.

The hardest part about it is that I'll never be able to realize this wish and I never had a choice in the matter. Women can choose (in most cases) whether or not they want to become pregnant. And I don't know how the logistics of it all would work, anyway. Maybe if we lived in a world where both men and women were built with the capability to have babies, kind of like seahorses. I know it's not realistic, but if it were possible to give me a uterus transplant I'd consider it. I would go through considerable pain and effort if it meant I could get pregnant.

Every guy I've ever told has either looked at me like I'm insane or just straight-up laughed at me. Women I've told seem to understand, but nobody really takes it seriously except for my wife. She knows it's not a joke and that it's an actual dream of mine. Any guys out there agree with me?
======

Bimps09/15/2019
ewww haha thats so gross man yuck so gross!! geez makes me wanna vomit! makes me wanna throw up all over you, haha blueeuughhhh im gonna vomit thats so **** nasty hahaahaha what the **** oh **** i think im gonn- HEUBLEUUGHUUUHHHHHGHH oh my god my stoma- BLEUUUGHHHFFPHHGFF IM IN HELL!!!!!! IM IN HE- BLEUOHHHGHHHHFH
=====

onjit09/15/2019
Unlike normal diseases, which spread via biological elements, Ligma is spread through written and verbal communication. A creature infected with Ligma will attempt to establish a dialogue with non-infected creatures wherein they will inevitably refer to their possession of the disease. Once the recipient creature of the dialogue hears the name of the disease, they must make a DC 16 Intelligence saving throw, or be forced to ask "What's Ligma?" The infected creature will then reply "Ligma balls!" Upon hearing this, the recipient creature of the conversation becomes infected with Ligma, while the original creature collapses into raucous laughter and suffers 5 levels of exhaustion.

At the beginning of a long rest, an infected creature can attempt a DC 18 Intelligence saving throw. If they succeed, they are no longer infected with Ligma.

Creatures with an Intelligence score of 4 or lower cannot contract this disease.
=====

onjit09/16/2019
I was in an elevator in 2002, Salt Lake City Olympics. Jay jumps in the elevator and my buddy and I are like, "oh ****, Jay Leno". So he says, "why do girls like wearing leather pants?" "we dunno Jay". "because it makes their pussies smell like new car scent" and then he got off the elevator.
=====

onjit09/19/2019
If you believe in Allah put this on 5 discord server. Don't just ignore this because it says in the Quran if you deny him, he will deny you in front of his son in the gates of paradise. This is the simplest test. If you love Allah and you are not ashamed of it, copy and paste it on 5 discord server
https://media.discordapp.net/attachment … image0.gif

=====

onjit09/20/2019
I swear to god, all this chat ever does is find the one person with the lowest IQ and copy paste whatever that braindead moron posts.
=====

whomstdve09/20/2019
i'm gonna just message you real quick to let you know i've blocked you for about 10 minutes now. I have nothing against you but typically people who ague with EVERYTHING people say and comes out of the blue have no idea whats going on. Have a drink read up and learn some actual things besides basic "it just works" budget building. Until then maybe some tylenol for your headache that you brought on with your crummy attitude.
=====

whomstdve09/20/2019
Guys I just **** up,

I forgot I was in class and by instincts I ripped a fat cloud with my vtech cloud atomizer z36x3 December edition, fatter clouds less tar, 3.1 ohm with my fat juicy white cloud grape strawberry chocolate e juice, 60 vg 40 pg, bro I fogged up the entire class and set of all the fire alarms in the buildings, some kid's service dog literally overdosed :rofl: and now he wants $8000 for a new one. Bro there was so much smoke the paint started to peel off and now the university thinks it's MY fault they need an entire renovation of the classroom. Bro every kid's laptop was dripping wet and destroyed and now they want ME to pay for new laptops. Bro it wasn't my fault it was an accident.

Please any of you know what i should do? Please any help please bros. This is the last time I can talk to y'all for a bit, I'm at the local police station gonna spend a couple days here, apparently killing the service dog and a kid with asthma BY ACCIDENT is like really bad and now I'm being detained for murder. Bros leave any help here I'll read it later thank bros.
======

Living Coward09/21/2019
Sorry, your password must contain at least 13 characters, and contain at least one number, which cannot be any of the first six digits of pi, and cannot be your phone number, eldest sibling's birthday, or your lotto numbers. You must have at least two of the following characters: Я, Δ, :pineapple:, or :rabbit2:. You may not repeat characters more than three times in a row, unless you are Christian, in which case you may use 777 or if you are a member of the Church of Satan you may use 666. Should you choose a person emoji in your password, it cannot represent your own skin color. Your password cannot be one of your last seventeen passwords, nor can it include your first or second pet's name (you may include the names of goldfish that died within two days of coming home from the fair). You may not include the name of any professional sports team that has won a national title in the past six years. You may not include any words found in the Official Scrabble Players Dictionary, including the dumb two-letter ones that are ridiculous, like "AA". You may not include Klingon words that have actually been uttered in an official Star Trek franchise show or film. Likewise for Elvish words in the Hobbit or in the first two Lord of the Rings books. You cannot use any word that sounds like, looks like, or seems like the word "Love" (e.g., Luv, Luhvs, hearts, L0V, etc.). All consecutive letters must alternate between upper and lower case in a pattern matching the Fibonacci series (e.g., AbCDefgHIJKL). Should you forget your password, you will be required to request a password reset in person in our offices at Huffman Prairie Flying Field, Dayton, Ohio, during regular business hours, except on Friday. There will be a five day waiting period for password resets, which we will send to your email address, which cannot be a .google.com, .hotmail.com, or yahoo.com address.
====

UnableToAssume09/29/2019
Copypasta jokes are not funny. It’s annoying and incredibly irritating to me when I say something in chat because I would enjoy actual responses and I instead get my own words thrown back at me. Please don’t just copy my messages and be original! Thank you!

Bimps09/29/2019
=====
If you are far irl.
You know here in Norway,if you dress as a cow on burgerking this week
you get a free meal<wow
i think i would want to take you
with me
since you already a cow
SKRTRRRRRR
=========

pingoLast Wednesday at 1:56 PM
WARNING! Carry on reading! Or you will die, even if you only looked at the word warning! Once there was a little girl called Clarissa, she was ten-years-old and she lived in a mental hospital, because she killed her mom and her dad. She got so bad she went to kill all the staff in the hospital so the More- government decided that best idea was to get rid of her so they set up a special room to kill her, as humane as possible but it went wrong the machine they were using went wrong. And she sat there in agony for hours until she died. Now every week on the day of her death she returns to the person that reads this letter, on a monday night at 12:00a.m. She creeps into your room and kills you slowly, by cutting you and watching you bleed to death. Now send this to ten other profiles on this one site, and she will haunt someone else who doesn't. This isn't fake. apparently, if u copy and paste this to ten comments in the next ten minutes u will have the best of your life. TIC TOC.'
=====

BimpsLast Wednesday at 3:49 PM
Welp. Chief, big oof on that one senpai, my dude. Yikes.
adulting
Schroedinger's cat
cognitive dissonance

That didn't happen.

And if it did, it wasn't that bad.

And if it was, that's not a big deal.

And if it is, that's not my fault.

And if it was, I didn't mean it.

And if I did...

You deserved it.
=====
Oof boingz zoinks creepers aww man with a pickle rickle on a popsicle holy **** Batman lets unpackerino this yikeserino and uuhhohh that isn’t nice 69 haha so funny who hurt you inkwell maybe try showering?. Oh sweet summer child that isn’t very wholesome 100 look at doggo and pupper teehee the long boi and the blep are friends wahoooo balanced as all thinks should be haha thanos purple better than orenge drumpf
Edit: a word
Edit 2: just a pun
Edit 3: WOOOOOHHOOOOO KatSCHHHHHingrrrrrrrr Thank you for the gold kind stranger!!!!!!!!!!!!! You sir made the internet today!!!!
=====

BimpsLast Thursday at 5:39 PM
autism is the driving force of the universe.

the ability to just think up somethig and o it no matter wwhat like if one were ar obot or playing a videogame is god tierly fantastic, everyone else disolves into a sea of doubts "oh what will they think, why do most people not do this??""" not us brother, once we know the task we stop thinking about anyhting else
=====

onjitLast Thursday at 8:17 PM
Every post I have ever made on discord is a satire and I do not condone nor support any of the opinions expressed on this chatroom. Any post associated with this IP is satire and should be treated as such. At no point has anyone associated with this IP ever condoned, encouraged, committed or abated acts of violence or threats of violence against any persons, regardless of racial, ethnic, religious or cultural background. In case of an investigation by any federal entity or similar, I do not have any involvement with this group or with the people in it, I do not know how I am here, probably added by a third party, I do not support any actions by the member of this group.
=====

onjit02/20/2019
Many of us have made careers out of doing just these things: slogging through the grind, all day, the same quests over and over, hundreds of times to the point where we know evety little detail such that some have attained such gamer nirvana that they can literally play these games blindfolded.

Do these people have any idea how many controllers have been smashed, systems over heated, disks and carts destroyed 8n frustration? All to latter be referred to as bragging rights?

These people honestly think this is a battle they can win? They take our media? We're already building a new one without them. They take our devs? Gamers aren't shy about throwing their money else where, or even making the games our selves.
They think calling us racist, mysoginistic, rape apologists is going to change us? We've been called worse things by prepubescent 10 year olds with a **** head set. They picked a fight against a group that's already grown desensitized to their strategies and methods. Who enjoy the battle of attrition they've threatened us with. Who take it as a challange when they tell us we no longer matter. Our obsession with proving we can after being told we can't is so deeply ingrained from years of dealing with big brothers/sisters and friends laughing at how pathetic we used to be that proving you people wrong has become a very real need; a honed reflex.

Gamers are competative, hard core, by nature. We love a challange. The worst thing you did in all of this was to challange us. You're not special, you're not original, you're not the first; this is just another boss fight.
=====

onjit02/20/2019
If the player presses and holds the reverse key, the vehicle can accelerate with practically no upper speed limit. It is possible to accelerate until reaching 1.23×1037 miles per hour (1.98×1037 kilometres per hour; 5.8×1020 light-years per second) or more than 1028 times the speed of light. At this point, all checkpoints will turn green and the player will instantly win the race because this extreme speed causes the vehicle to be literally everywhere at once. However, the truck will halt instantly when the reverse key is released, regardless of its speed
=====
I'm a grown-**** male adult who plays video games, and plays them hard. My computer can smash through any god damn title on Steam. I've blasted my way through the DOOM series, Wolfenstein, Half Life, Quake, BioShock and more. I consider myself a pretty hardy, skilled gamer, but most importantly completely immune to guts, gore and spooks after years of exposure.

So why is it then, that this game is able to scare me ****? Team Salvato, I salute you, for making this grown **** man cry at his computer screen. I literally downloaded the game for a laugh, I saw the tags on Steam and giggled at the content warnings... then I saw Sayori hanging by the neck from her bedroom ceiling and all light-heartedness was gone in an instant.

This is the single most intelligently designed video game I've ever played. It's giving Undertale a run for it's money, I can't get over how frightfully impressed I am.

This **** game, man. This **** game.
=====

rainbow02/27/2019
=======
DISCLAIMER: this is not a personal attack.. you have not upset me. but i need to say this. you cannot fight yourself. jumping backwards while tiger shooting is fun. but how many thousands of times. its worth losing matches to expand variety and complexity. you are the absolute least fun to play against out of everyone i have played. and mate... im not salty. so dont take it like that. ill not blacklist you and ill run it back every match. i dont dislike you or know you. but i have fought you. and im being serious when i say what i say.  it will be harder for you to find people to play if you are so narrow in approach. winning is the offset of progression.  self development and evolution should be the drivers. not rank or points.  keep playing like that if you want. but there is no next level of development down that path. what ever you do you become better at it. which is why i always wake up buttons and do allll those so basic things that are so obvious. you are litterally becoming the best at jumping away. mix it up lol. for your own development and my sanity. i mean hell. ill even drop every game and give you the win... just dash forward sometimes. ffs lmao
======

Frex04/03/2019
Lead Maidens are singlehandedly ruining this game.
There's no reason an extremely common random enemy should be tons harder than everything else so far including the floor 2 boss even though Lead Maidens started showing up before that fight. It makes every moment not spent fighting a Lead Maiden pointless because whether or not I win depends 99% on whether or not that **** miniboss appears. I've never seen one nonboss singlehandedly ruin a game before but this one is doing it extremely efficiently. Beating one Lead Maiden is harder than beating Rabi-Ribi's True Boss Rush. It's **** unforgivable to have the game change so radically every time that enemy show up. It kills me in like one **** hit & it has far more health than everything else I've fought before despite also being bigger & faster than everything else too.

Whomever came up with that enemy needs to go jack off to medieval torture **** & get it out of their system. Jesus Christ!

I really wish the creators of this game would've just decided whether to make an amazing game or the worst game ever & stuck with it.
=====

Olive Man04/08/2019
Guys, I'm **** shaking. I never wanted to breed with anyone more than I want to with Black Cat D.Va. That petite, curvy body. Those perky breasts. The tight checkered goth-loli stockings. It honestly **** hurts knowing that I'll never mate with her and have her birth perfect Korean gamer offspring. I'd do **** ANYTHING for the chance to be with Black Cat D.Va. A N Y T H I N G.
=====

onjit04/10/2019
Once upon a time, I used to think Undertale was cringey and very overhyped. I'd scowl whenever i saw one of those "UT Comics". They seemed cringey and I just despised them for some reason. I heard about the bad reputation Undertale had but never really looked into it or why the reputation seemed bad. One day, I was feeling pretty bored. I had a pretty bad laptop and couldn't play most games but I had Undertale... even though I never played it yet. I avoided playing it and just didn't really notice it at all. That night I was like "ah screw it" and started Undertale. I didn't expect much and was pretty unmotivated to actually play it. But when I actually started to play it... my heart broke. It just couldn't handle it.
I played the pacificist/true pacifist route as I thought it was interesting that there was a different method to deal with fights. Instead of fighting and killing monsters to level up and get gold. In Undertale you could act and befriend them, eventually sparing them. It really intrigued me. I was also very surprised at the soundtracks. I didn't expect much for music so when I heard the soundtracks at the beginning I was starting to get into Undertale. I played and didn't stop at all. I played beginning to end in a couple hours straight, no breaks. Towards the end I was beginning to feel restless and sad as I approached Asgore. I heard this soundtrack and really started to feel sad as I empathized with the monsters. The fight with Asgore was hard as I thought it was the final boss, a couple times I wouldn't immediately make my move and act, but instead sit and listen to the soundtrack. I realized I really enjoyed this game. It wasn't that bad at all, though the fanbase might seem kinda cringey the game was completely fine. I finally finished the fight with Asgore feeling kinda sad only to be surprised. There was more to play! I played and relished the moment. I was sad and expected it. I should be sad but also happy for finishing a game right? Especially a game I enjoyed! Right?!
... No.
The ending absolutely crushed me. I weeped during the whole fight with Asriel. I got a lump in my throat while tears poured down my face and my nose felt runny causing me to sniff a lot. This game.. isn't just a game, it was a life experience for me. Something that I'll never experience again. I really love the characters, the world, the feels, the funny parts that make the game actually feel like a game. But what I loved most of all.. were the emotions it brought out of me that I really didn't expect. It brings emotions out of you that you didn't really know you had. So after I finished the amazing game, I should have been happy and satisfied that I completed a game. But again all I felt was emptiness. An overwhelming sense of sadness and regret for finishing the game, this left a hole in my heart. I leaned back for a while and thought about it all, absorbing everything I just experienced and letting it sink in. My eyes grew hot again and tears formed as my mind swarmed with thoughts of only Undertale and Asriel.
After shaking myself from my stunned state, I went to my bed and just fell apart. I laid there crying, wondering why we couldn't save Asriel, wishing that I could enter the game, wishing that I could become Frisk, wishing that I could forget everything about Undertale so I can relive the experience I had playing it. I cried, cried and cried. I listened to the soundtracks of Undertale and just curled up and kept crying. I will never be able to experience something like Undertale or feel 'that way' again. I cried because I would miss it. I miss the characters. I could replay the game, but it just isn't the same and I'd cry at the ending when I save everyone and Asriel frees the souls. Surely during the pacifist route you would be able to save EVERYONE.. right? Show mercy and befriend everyone.. but why. why can't we save the true hero. The one that breaks the barrier and allows everyone to be happy... but themself? Why can't Asriel have a happy ending? All these thoughts remained in my mind as I cried myself to sleep. The soundtracks really stuck with me as I made a place for Undertale in my heart. I'd never forget this experience I had playing Undertale.
Now, after 2 years since playing, I no longer cry when thinking about it. I still listen to all the soundtracks.. my favorite being His Theme, Undertale and It's Raining Somewhere Else. (Also You're Always Welcome Home in Deltarune). Don't get me wrong. I'm still very sad and get emotional but I thought to myself, even if Asriel can't be happy. It doesn't mean we can't be happy. Why don't I, we, be happy for Asriel. I shouldn't be sad that I will never feel 'that way' again from when I first played Undertale. Instead, I should be happy that I experienced it in the first place. I should be happy I was exposed to this masterpiece. I'll remember this forever, and thank you Toby. Not for creating a game, but for creating an experience. A whole world to empathize and truly be happy in. Thank you.
Good Night.
=====

onjit04/24/2019
Hey look buddy, I'm a gamer. That means I solve problems, not problems like "What faction is superior" Because that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy. I solve gamer problems, for instance: how am I going to stop some mean mother Hubbard from using revenge in a 1v1. The answer, use my feat, and if that don't work... Use all 4 feats. Take for instance this lvl 3 feat which is a throwable gladius, forged with high carbon steel attached to this high quality handle and guard, designed by me, built by me, and you best hope... not locked on to you.
====

Living Coward05/19/2019
Gamers.

We're a group of people who will sit for hours, days, even weeks on end performing some of the hardest, most mentally demanding tasks. Over, and over, and over all for nothing more than a little digital token saying we did.
We'll punish our selfs doing things others would consider torture, because we think it's fun.
We'll spend most if not all of our free time min maxing the stats of a fictional character all to draw out a single extra point of damage per second.
Many of us have made careers out of doing just these things: slogging through the grind, all day, the same quests over and over, hundreds of times to the point where we know evety little detail such that some have attained such gamer nirvana that they can literally play these games blindfolded.
Do these people have any idea how many controllers have been smashed, systems over heated, disks and carts destroyed 8n frustration? All to latter be referred to as bragging rights?
These people honestly think this is a battle they can win? They take our media? We're already building a new one without them. They take our devs? Gamers aren't shy about throwing their money else where, or even making the games our selves. They think calling us racist, mysoginistic, rape apologists is going to change us? We've been called worse things by prepubescent 10 year olds with a **** head set. They picked a fight against a group that's already grown desensitized to their strategies and methods. Who enjoy the battle of attrition they've threatened us with. Who take it as a challange when they tell us we no longer matter. Our obsession with proving we can after being told we can't is so deeply ingrained from years of dealing with big brothers/sisters and friends laughing at how pathetic we used to be that proving you people wrong has become a very real need; a honed reflex.
Gamers are competative, hard core, by nature. We love a challange. The worst thing you did in all of this was to challange us. You're not special, you're not original, you're not the first; this is just another boss fight.

===

onjit06/15/2019
You started your answer above: "Well, you make decisions as in any other rpg game". Are you serious? These games have nothing to do with RPGs. Ultima games are RPG's, Mass Effects are RPG's, Fallout games are RPG's (except the fourth one is much lesser one). Games where you just make choices that affect story are certainly not RPG's. RPG's are about building character roles, like one is an archer, one is a knight, one is a mage - you determine the strenghts and weaknesses of your character and play with them. RPGs do not require a role in development of the plot, those games are called story focused games like these Quantic Dream titles completely are. To be exact, I would call Bioshock a strory driven game, but not story focused, since the focus is clearly on action.

I hate to bring awful trash game The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt back on topic, but that is a perfect extraordinary example of what is not called an RPG, but just a storydriven action adventure game. This complain might seem like a nitpick, but I just want to avoid false marketing that for example CD Projekt does, which we will most likely witness again when Cyberpunk 2077 is sold as something else than it really is. There are really not too many new AAA-level RPG's available currently, but people think so because the meaning of RPG was watered down especially by The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt, which might be an enjoyable game if you just like the story, but otherwise is just pure running around without any real character development. It is all about simple number boosts, which is far more narrow gameplay wise even compared to games like the latest Batman (Rocksteady) and Ratchet & Clank titles.
Can you expand on exact meaning of RPG in this context? Then tell us who you play as in those games. Who's position you take? For who you make decisions?
=====

Helist06/23/2019
"Talking **** is ingrained in game culture. Unfortunately, if you don't want to hear people trash talking then don't join game chat."
This is so disappointing to see so many people say. What happened to the "not all gamers" and "gamers rise up" sentiments that have since been turned into memes? Are we really just accepting that we're garbage now, that we don't even try to separate ourselves from the worst among us or be better than the negative stereotypes of us? We could easily say "just don't participate in toxicity 4Head" but instead we're saying "just don't participate in gaming 4Head".
=========

onjit06/27/2019
Hey, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3"03' tall and 63.9 pounds. this means they're large enough to be able to handle human ****, and with their impressive Base stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there's no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll eyes, Captivate, Charm and Tail Whip along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it'd be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close with this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human ****. Ungodly defense stat + high HP pool + Acid Armor means it can take **** all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more.
=====

TorvakMOS07/19/2019
Hello! Sorry to bother you all, but I’m new to the CS:GO competitive scene. I’m just very curious why it seems there’s nothing that could challenge the Finnish esports organization that goes by the name “ENCE Esports”? Everything just seems to be so easy for them
======
I skied uphill to the top of the tallest tunturi in Finland. At the top, I saw allu T-posing with the rest of the Finnish pride of CSGO team ENCE. I dropped to my knees and cried. xseveN began to spin faster and faster, and through my tears I saw the entire ENCE team float up into the sky. The last thing I heard was a distant “TORILLA...TAVATAAN”
=======

TorvakMOS07/19/2019
I met allu in London during the London major . He came out of a bush and joined me and my friends on our walk to mcdonalds. Whilst we were walking to the mcd he was bragging about how he taught nitr0 everything he knew. Got a picture with him where he made fun of my cloud9 jersey. At mcdonalds he took like 10 packs of ketchup. Nice guy. He was pretty drunk.
========

TorvakMOS07/30/2019
How u tend to Elderspell. Some of you like it and others say its to narrow or so, i read the last days. Switiching the spells, so no more smallpox and pox, wastelands and sinkholes etc, which made it for the opponent often difficult to cast the 4 Mana walkers. So now, in this builds with dead of Winter and so on, there should be other answers for decks with pws. So it seems elderspell is now much more useful than before, i mean two spyglas5/ needles in the Board doesnt Do it, i think. What are your insights?
========

whomstdve08/29/2019
You committed the ultimate cardinal sin, you got personal. You, as a team of professionals trying to make money, got personal. You got personal and decided to insult your playbase, calling us "****-hats" and "freeloaders". Not a wise move.

We won't forget this. You've set a new tone for the kind of interaction we'll be having with you. It's a cold one. One where there aren't any illusions about the reality of the situation. Previous notions of "family" are dead. We are mere consumers to you, and that is obvious.

You have chosen to bring in a new era of hostility and bitterness. Well done. Great PR move.
=====

onjit08/29/2019
https://discordapp.com/channels/5477573 … 1754981410

whomstdve08/30/2019
not my fault helist categorized it incorrectly

onjit08/30/2019
yeah
what an absolute moron

whomstdve08/30/2019
what a **** idiot

TorvakMOS08/30/2019
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World of Warcraft
[Level 58+] FINAL PUSH TO 60 - WoW Classic Mage Leveling - Mograine EU - !leaderboard !played
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YOUTUBE - Touch Me Baby
Panel Content
Sometimes i upload speedruns i do here, feel free to check them out //forums.everybodyedits.com/img/smilies/smile

Donations - Click the Boomer!
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If you want to give me money so i dont have to become a male stripper like Ricardo, you can do it here, thanks bro!

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Q: How old are you?

A: 22

Q: Where are you from?

A: Malta

Q: Discord tag?

A: Jokerd#4732

Q: Can you link your wow armory?

A: Hunter Armory

Q: Why you dont play bfa anymore?

A: Didnt like the expansion so i am waiting for classic //forums.everybodyedits.com/img/smilies/smile))

Q: Will you stream classic?

A: Yes i will //forums.everybodyedits.com/img/smilies/wink

Q: Private server times?

A:

Server 1st 60 on Elysium Nethergarde in 3days 10hours

Server 1st 60 on Light's Hope Silver Hand in 2days 17hours



Gold Medal
Faithfire


2,000
Silver Medal
Haildancer


1,000
Bronze Medal
kream86


600

Twitch PrimeWoozie_9: 4Head
Twitch Primecairnsie2: BUT METHOD CONFIRMED BUT METHOD CONFIRMED BUT METHOD CONFIRMED BUT METHOD CONFIRMED BUT METHOD CONFIRMED BUT METHOD CONFIRMED BUT METHOD CONFIRMED BUT METHOD CONFIRMED BUT METHOD CONFIRMED BUT METHOD CONFIRMED BUT METHOD CONFIRMED BUT METHOD CONFIRMED BUT METHOD CONFIRMED BUT METHOD CONFIRMED BUT METHOD CONFIRMED BUT METHOD CONFIRMED BUT METHOD CONFIRMED BUT METHOD CONFIRMED BUT METHOD CONFIRMED BUT METHOD CONFIRMED BUT METHOD CONFIRMED BUT METHOD CONFIRMED BUT METHOD CONFIRMED BUT METHOD CONF
becko10: sourPls
Penguins_Fur: SourPls
mozpioz: LULW
ggspr: OMEGALUL OMEGALUL OMEGALUL OMEGALUL OMEGALUL OMEGALUL OMEGALUL OMEGALUL OMEGALUL
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Helist08/30/2019
@whomstdve @onjit :Bruh:

whomstdve08/30/2019
:bruff:

Helist08/30/2019
”Method” is a professional raiding guild in the popular MMORPG “World of Warcraft”. Under the guidance of guild master Scott “Sco” McMillan the guild has come to be revered by many as the most accomplished guild of all time with several noteworthy achievements under its belt such as multiple world firsts, high ranking PvP teams and losing the Classic 60 race to a bald Maltese gnome.
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whomstdve09/09/2019
It's the year 2044. Thomas Edward Patrick Brady Jr, now 67 years of age and having lapped the field in every statistical measure, throws a dime of a pass to some no-name receiver to mark his 750th touchdown in the NFL. There is little fanfare. Every milestone is his already and is cemented in the thralls of NFL lore. He doesn't even celebrate throwing them anymore, he just doesn't know anything else. He waltzes off the field and is congratulated by his son John Edward Thomas Moynahan, who is now the backup quarterback for the Patriots.

"That was a great throw, dad."

"Shut up, idiot. There are three quarters left." He takes off his gloves and laments the fact that he has 31 rings, three for each finger but one will always have an extra. He strongly considers the idea of playing until he has 40 just to cure his OCD.

John hangs his head in shame. Wide receivers coach Julian Edelman slaps him on his back and reassures him: "It's okay kid he's in sicko mode right now."

Bill Belichick, now simply a consciousness downloaded into some unholy machination of flesh and metal, ignores the entire ordeal and makes note of the gunner on the ensuing kickoff straying 4.5 feet from his designated lane. That gunner will die tomorrow.
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whomstdve09/15/2019
A lot of enthusiasts hate brown switches. They be all like "nah bro browns are TRASH I can't even FEEL the tactile BUMP and the SOUND PROFILE is so God damned MUSHY you have to **** go to MASSDROP and wait for 8 **** YEARS after pre-ordering the zeelios burnt navy translucent blue box panda ROYALS then de-solder them and replace the base with royal black SPRINGS and LUBE them up with hg7364 if you USE hg7363 you're a **** IDIOT I literally can't type on anything ELSE because everything else is **** TRASH and RGB is for **** KIDS and I'm a **** ADULT that collects **** KEYBOARDS."

but really the browns are pretty good.
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whomstdve09/20/2019
Listen you **** uncultured swin, riot is a **** amercian company not some japanese weeaboo game maker and even then they are owned by a korean corporation which is still not japanese so shut the **** up
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TorvakMOS09/27/2019
Hey guys my name is Timmy and I love Counterstrike Global Offensive. I have epilepsy and my Mom doesn't allow me to continue watching CS because I had an epileptic attack caused by the spam in chat. So please stop spamming or my mom said she will leave me in the forest.
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onjit02/20/2019
I go through my day pretty normal like, I'm a normal guy, I'm a swell guy, I'm a nice enough guy, I'm a cool kind of guy, I'm a pretty groovy guy...but then I get a little SUGAR in me and start to go KOO-KOO. Doesn't have to be much, this time it was two of 'em Fiber One brownies. Only 90 calories each but they do the job. Do you know what I'm sayin'? They get me goin', they get me riled up, a little KOO-KOO, a little WACKY, start gettin' me a little KOOKY, a little, y'know, LOOPY-- OOO. Hey, somebody get this kid in a padded cell! Someone get him a straitjacket! He's gettin' a little WACKY..ooo...a little KOOKY! He's off the walls, bananas, loco! You want me to stop. Isn't that wonderful? Well, let me just do what you say, because it's your little fairy tale
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Simply put, no. Really, the idea of a world without mustard doesn't even make sense. Think about it... what else would fill the nasally void? What else provides such versatile flavor? Mustard has always been the most beautiful thing on this entire planet. Mustard will always be the most tasty thing in the universe. Sure, mustard alone is questionably tasty. But mustard doesn't work alone, must amplifies other lesser flavors. Even those who claim they don't eat mustard are just fooling themselves. Remember homeopathy? Well, pretty much everything is homeopathically contaminated with mustard, and mustard has brought their food greatness. Donald Trump thinks he can make America great again. No, he alone cannot. But mustard can. We should not build a wall. We should build a goddamn mustard waterfall. Niagara Falls? How about Mustard Falls? This is the only way to make mustard great again, scientifically proven in exactly 0 controlled trials, in e^πi +1 peer reviewed journals. Why would this make America great again? Imagine if you could take any boring sandwich and slather it in mustard just by putting it outside. That's right, we're going to make mustard rain. The whole world would be spiced up a notch. Bland sandwiches would be edible again. Decent sandwiches would be mindblowing. Productivity would skyrocket a whopping 10,000% with all the newfound enthusiasm for life. South Korea and North Korea would be friends again. Israelis and Palestinians would stop killing each other. Instead, they would all revel in their love of mustard. Long story short, mustard not only binds this world together, but is the solution for all of this world's problems.

Burn on, my friend.
=====
Like I said...You have the lower body and you have no upper body, you got a problem building...wait a minute. You have the upper body, and you have no legs, you got a problem building your legs. You have the upper...you have the lower body and you don't have the upper body, the upper body, it is easier to build. So if you have the lower body and you don't have the upper body, it is easier to build the upper body. You have the upper body and you don't have the legs, you got a problem building the lower body... No, you don't understand. You have the upper body, but you don't have the lower body, you got a problem building downstairs. You got the up- legs on the bottom, it is easier to build on the top, so you don't have much as a problem. Yeah.
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Has it not occurred to you that the voice you've read my post in is in fact the voice in your head? It's your voice, it bears your tone, and your judgement values. How about this: Why are you being a little ****? I am the matriarch of eggserver gang banging, dear. Do you not know who I am? I am desperately lonely. Are you trying to be my friend? Because you've got an interesting way of going about it. I'm ok with this, I can work with this, this is what we do. I do this. (That's an ICP reference. Get it?) Or am I wrong? Are you hurt or offended by something I said? Have I wronged you somehow? Are you upset? Do you feel trolled? As your friend, I feel obliged to inform you that if you said "yes" to any of these questions, you might be misattributing things to me which do not exist. If you don't understand what that means, how about don't sit there and tell me I'm both somehow subjective and also wrong. You can't have it both ways. So what's it going to be, chummer? I am The House. And The House says the door is open. Are you going to walk in here, **** my **** up, and steal my properties? Ok, that's rude. We could also just chill. If I think I'm someone who thinks they're deeper than they actually are, then clearly I must dig deeper. I died once, true story. Listen... everything I've said in this channel... you must read in a voice with a friendly tone. And before you interrupted me, a youthful jubilence. You're abrasive, I'm sure you already know that. I understand I can be abrasive as well. I can understand you, I need you to understand me. If you don't understand me, we can't be friends. If we can't be friends, then you best get to stepping because you're in my way. Are you good?
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onjit02/20/2019
Greetings, everyone! I just had a surprise circumcision. Not many people have surprise circumcisions, but I gotta say, it's the shock that gets to ya. One minute you're watching a nightly political talk show, the other you're lying on a bloodied carpet with your dingle missing his scarf. There aren't many hospitals around here, just a bunch of pharmaceuticals, so I had to stitch up the wound. This tape won't hold though, adhesives typically don't attach to wet skin. On a brighter note, my grandson finally spoke to me after a long hiatus. He dyed his hair. He looks like a radical and it upsets me. I bet he supports the free market, that wet socket. One day I'm gonna sneak into his house and shave his head. He'll look like an egg. A radicalized egg. And then, I'm gonna smash all of those ding-dabbit new age industrial music DVD sets he collects. If I don't understand it, no one can. It's just how it works.
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onjit02/20/2019
The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. Mean spirited men and women find themselves alone at last, or trapped in the hateful marriages they've twisted about themselves. Without any cheer or optimism to offer, they find themselves confined to dead end jobs where they suffer endless routine humiliations from superiors and coworkers. You, a person bringing food to their door, often times you're just a blip in their radar, barely registering as a lifeform. Other times, when they focus on you, it's the way they focus on everyone: you're an adversary. You're trying to rip them off, steal from them in one way or another. But sometimes you encounter a rude, scowling person who throws a dollar at you. Maybe for that person, you're a lifeline to their humanity. Maybe that little act was a tiny grain of life in a bleak and grim existence.
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I Have Two Knees and I'm Naked Under My Clothes

What are ya gonna do about it? Huh? My neighbor did something about it and I handcuffed him to himself.
I roll two dice. One shows up six. This six represents the number of time you have left to live. WHat are you gonna do about it?

I bet you're naked under your clothes too, you ****. I bet you're naked in the tub. I bet you wish you were alive. I know I am. What are you gonna do about it?

Einstein once said, "Hoo!" And guess what happened? He Hoo'd his way into a relative grave. Machiavelli once said, "Perche la vita e brieve e molte son le pene che vivendo e stentando ognun sostiene; dietro alle nostre voglie, andiam passando e consumando gli anni, che chi il placer si toglie per viver con angosce e con affanni, non conosce gli inganni del mondo; o da quai mali e da che strani casi oppressi quasi sian tutti i mortali."

Hell's bells, what are we gonna do about it?

A wise old man climbs 1000 steps to the top of a Bangladeshi summit. His organs, stricken with coronary heart disease, fail immediately. By divine fortune, a young boy of the age of 20 steps from the shadows and approaches him with three gifts. "Choose four," she whispers. The old man glares at the object and smiles. He slouches deeper into the recliner and watches the news.

There is nothing you can do about it. All is chaos. All is woe. When we try to make sense of the things that don't, it recedes into further confusion. So don't try.

Just accept it.
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GREETINGS TO YOU I HOPE I MEET YOU IN A GOOD SPIRIT MY NAME IS MARIA BERNARD, AM 19 YEARS OLD I'M THE ONLY SURVIVING CHILD OF MY LATE PARENTS MR AND MRS NELSON BERNARD.I LOST MY PARENTS AND MY ONLY KID BROTHER MYSTERIOUSLY ON A CAR ACCIDENT ON THEIR TRIP TO IVORY COAST WERE MY DADDY RUNS HIS OIL FIRM(COMPANY) WHICH I WAS SO LUCKY THAT I WAS NOT IN THE CAR WITH THEM THAT FAITH  FRIDAY MORNING ON 27TH JULY 2012 THEIR DEATH HAS COST ME SO MUCH PAINS PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY BECAUSE I WAS JUST 13YEARS WHEN I LOST THEM AND EVER SINCE THEN,I HAVE BEEN STAYING WITH MY LATE FATHER'S BROTHER MR EDWIN BERNARD WHO HAS BEEN TREATING ME LIKE A SLAVE IN MY OWN FATHER HOUSE EVER SINCE I LOST MY PARENT'S I HAVE BEEN SERVING MY UNCLE AS A SERVANT FROM THE FIRST DAY HE PARKED IN TO CLAIM ALL MY LATE FATHER'S INVESTMENTS.

    MY LATE FATHER IS A WELL KNOWN MAN IN BENIN REPUBLIC BECAUSE OF HIS PERSONALITY IN THE BUSINESS WORLD WHICH HIS BROTHERS HAVE END UP SHARING AND MISUSED IT BECAUSE OF THEIR GREEDINESS AND LACK OF EDUCATION ALL THEY WANT IS TO SHARE THE PROPERTY WHICH THEY HAVE SUCCEEDED TO ACHIEVED.

    I HAVE BEEN LIVING A SORROWFUL AND LONELY LIFE OVER HERE SINCE THE INCIDENT I WAS BIT YOUNGER AS I SAID BEFORE AND  EARLIER THIS YEAR 15TH OF JANUARY 2017 I DISCOVERED A DEPOSIT CERTIFICATE IN MY LATE FATHER'S ABANDONED STATIONERY WHICH STATED THAT THE CERTIFICATE PROVES THAT MY LATE FATHER HAS MADE IN A DEPOSIT IN A BANK CALLED (BICICI BANK PLC)A DEPOSIT WORTH OF EIGHT MILLION FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS ($8.500 000. 00 MILLION DOLLARS) IN IVORY COAST WERE HE WAS RUNNING HIS OIL BUSINESS ON MARCH 06|03|2011.
I HAVE GONE TO THE BANK TO MAKE NECESSARY VERIFICATION ABOUT THE EXISTENCE OF THE FUNDS AND I'M SO GLAD AND HAPPY THAT THE BANK MANAGER OF THE BICICI BANK HAS IT POSITIVE AND EXISTING THAT IS THE REASON WHY I CONTACTED YOU SO THAT I CAN INTRODUCE YOU TO THE BANK AS MY PARTNER SO THAT THE (BICICI BANK) CAN LET ME HAVE ACCESS TO MY FUNDS BECAUSE THEY SAID THAT THEY CAN NOT RELEASE THE MONEY TO ME UNTIL I GET SOMEONE TO BACK ME UP AS PARTNER JUST BECAUSE OF MY YOUNG AGE BEFORE THEY CAN TRANSFER THE FUNDS TO ANY FOREIGN ACCOUNT, I REALLY NEED TO RELOCATE FROM MY COUNTRY TO HAVE A NEW LIFE ABROAD AND SOMEHOW A NEW FAMILY IF YOU CAN ACCEPT ME AS YOUR DAUGHTER.I WILL RECOMMEND YOU TO THE BICICI BANK DIRECTOR AS MY PARTNER AND SOMEONE I HAVE CHOSEN AS THE BENEFICIARIES OF MY FUNDS WHO I HAVE ALSO CHOSEN TO HELP ME PROTECT AND INVEST ON MY FUNDS WHEN I RELOCATE TO YOUR COUNTRY .YOUR SUGGESTIONS AND IDEAS WILL BE HIGHLY REGARDED


                                           FINALLY, I HAVE SOME QUESTION'S TO ASK YOU PLEASE

(1)WHAT PERCENTAGE OF THE TOTAL AMOUNT IN QUESTION WILL BE GOOD FOR YOU AFTER THE MONEY HAS COMPLETELY TRANSFER TO YOUR ACCOUNT?

(2)ARE YOU COMPLETELY GIVING ME YOUR TRUST THAT YOU WILL NOT DENY ME MY FUNDS IF IT'S TRANSFER TO YOUR ACCOUNT BECAUSE OF MY AGE?

(3)CAN I REALLY TRUST YOU THAT YOU ARE NOT GOING TO SCAM ME OUT OF MY MONEY?

(4)ARE YOU WILLING TO HELP ME BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE ANY THING TO HELP MY SELF TO GET THE MONEY RELEASE WITHOUT YOUR FULL ASSISTANT?

PLEASE CONSIDER THIS AND LET ME KNOW YOUR MIND AS SOON AS POSSIBLE IMMEDIATELY I HEAR FROM YOU FOR YOUR WILLINGNESS. I WILL SEND TO YOU MY PICTURE AND THE DOCUMENT YOU NEEDED TO SEE OKAY

YOURS SINCERELY
Christmas Day of Christ Is Fake

Jolly St. Nick saint nick saint jolly not Nick saint Jolly Nick Saint Nick Not Demon Saint Nick is not real, he is a lie Lie lies Lie Lies lies
Mass Consumerism, Advertising Ploys, Supermonopolies, Predatory Pricing, Markup Scams, Exploitation of Markets, Corrupt Outsourcing, Political Machines, DAFTA, The United States of America, Department Stores, Laundering Fronts, Panama Papers, Net Neutrality, Jeff Bezos, Bill Gates, Karl Marx, Bob Saget, Mike Pence, Berkshire Hathaway, Own the World, Own the World,

You are a Sheep amongst other Sheep, we are in a deep dream machine ruled by psychopath Oligarchs, destroying our air, stealing children from third world countries, siphoning money from startups, killing cows, paying the FDA to ignore their fake meats, astral projecting cats, selling for the brand, appealing to the masses, Superbowl Commercials, controlling us, we are Puppets, they draw the Strings, it's time to Cut the Strings, but Once we Cut the Strings we are Limp, we are Too Controlled, This World is Fake, Christmas is Fake
Amazon, offline
Microsoft, offline
Apple, offline
JCPenney, offline
Sears, offline
Century21, offline
Macy's, offline
Trader Joe's, offline
Supreme, offline
The Lego Store, offline
Netflix, offline
Facebook, offline
Twitter, offline
Netscape, offline
Instagram, offline
Tesla, offline
Virgin Galactic, offline
SpaceX, offline
NASA Offline
Supreme Court, Offline
Internet, Offline
Verizon, Offline
AT&T, Offline
Sprint, offline
Virgin Mobile, offline
Delta Air, offline
JetBlue, Offline
Singapore Airlines, offline
Seal Team Six, Offline
PSE&G, Offline
Wall Street, Offline
Broadway, offline
Silicon Valley, offline
Palo Alto, offline
Manhattan, offline
See the Difference See the Difference No You Don't No You Don't You Are A Puppet You We Me I Him Her She It They His Plan

ChristMas Is Fake
ChristMas Is Fake Do Not Shop Do Not Leave Your House The Snow Is Fake Weather Is Fake GOvernment Is Fake All Is Fake, The New Year Is Fake, Months Are Fake Time Is Fake We Are fake Jolly Saint Nick Jolly Saint Nick Jolly Sahint Nick Jolly Saint Nick Jolly Saint Nick Ha Ha ha ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha ha Ha ha hahhhhh
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I'm off to scout camp for a week, so I won't be on at all. Completely cut off from the outside world. It's gonna be great ('cept 4 teh fud ofc.) cuz dat fud b nazty. liek srsly nazty. I IS LIKE SO PUMPED I DUN GIVE A CRAP ABOUT GRAMMR!!!!one!!!eleven1. So. Bye. When I get back I'll know how to shape metal and carve wood. I already know how to make baskets, towers(like big ones), find my way with a map, run for my life, and how to get caught in a tornado bcuz srsly that Knsas weathr is liek totaly krazy. It's like raining for 10 min then it stops and u look outsid and then you cant c a single cloud liek anywer? Yeh, is liek dat. I'll be living in a canvas, semi-permanent tent and using tons of bug spray because those ticks are absolutely awful there. And then it gets so dang hot there its like omg I'm melting and then you look at your hand where your canteen was (bcuz if u dun have a canteen in ur hand u r srsly slow and might even die) and ur hand melted off. Well, I've spammed enough and described how I will be living enough for now. Bye!
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Yall ever think about if reality "bottoms out" at some point Like if it has a point where there is only one true direction Like right now, singularities are viewed as places where reality "bottoms out" And they are only thought to exist at the centers of black holes or even possibly the beginning of the universe's expansion was from a singularity. Is it a lack of information that makes these situations/events seem like the floor, the bottom, or a state of singular outcome? Or are they actually places where reality is singular and has only one direction to rearange itself To change through. This thought was brought on by trying to make some deep house music and having my speakers "bottom out"
Because you only percieve a speaker to "bottom out" because the vibration it puts out is non conducive to making good sounding music. Maybe we percieve singularities as they are because if we percieve them fully, it would be non  conducive to something, like prior knowledge or models of how reality works out
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onjit02/20/2019
each morning I put one uncooked ravioli in a thermos. I pour hot water over it, steeping it like tea, and then i drink it all day at work (i work at the White House) and at the end of the day, as I take the last sip of the tea, the soft ravioli slides into my mouth, and i eat it
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onjit02/25/2019
"I've never been a fan of Internet Explorer"

Crowd laughs nervously and a few grunts are heard from the back seats as people edge closer to hear the punchline.

"Why not? Don't you like the internet?"

The crowd suddenly stands up, aware that they are about to receive what they came for. People slowly edge closer to the set as Sheldon prepares for his next line. Sweat is clearly visible on his brow and his mouth is quivering in anticipation as he readies himself for what is about to happen.

"I just prefer Firefox because, like the fox, I am cunning and nimble."

The crowd suddenly surges forward as the words escape Sheldon's mouth. They are so powerful, they almost shake the very foundations of the CBS studios. He watches as, in what he perceives as slow motion, the crowd moves toward his fragile body. He has been preparing for this moment his whole life. This is his moment. This is his Emmy. This is his Golden Globe. This is even his Oscar. The crowd converges around him so quickly they ignore the trampled cries of Leonard and Penny, who now lie shaking on the floor, their bones crushed by the sheer mass of the crowd. Sheldon stares back at the eyes around him. What he sees are no longer people. What he sees is the human psyche stripped down to its core. Their lives, what they were before this moment has been forgotten. Ravenous. Hungry. They want one thing from him. Sheldon closes his eyes, clears his mind and relaxes his body. What happens next depends completely on the next few seconds. The time between this and what he mutters next feels like an eternity. Slowly, he opens his eyes. He looks at Leonard, then at Penny, both lying lifeless on the floor. Without a second thought, he says with resounding conviction...

"BAZINGA"

In a split second, the crowd pounces on his ready and waiting body. Man, woman, child all at once. Sheldon cries out in complete ecstasy as they consume his flesh. He stops suddenly, as he drifts into eternal slumber. Peace at last.
====

onjit03/03/2019
Hey Northernlion. I was at the beach staring at the gorgeous view of the ocean from the top off a cliff when this random golden eagle crashed beak first into my back sending us both tumbling into the waves below. Once we burst through the frothy brine I noticed we were in the middle of a cloud of krill. What surprised me more was there was a pod of huge whales feeding on the krill. With no time to react and nothing to do but flail about, one of the larger whales swallowed the both of us when taking a mouthful of krill. After tumbling down the extensive esophagus, we landed in this whales stomach next to a half dissolved raft, how that got there is beyond me. I climbed onto the raft and hoisted the eagle on. To my utter astonishment, there was a laptop in a trunk that was strapped to the raft. When I opened it up and found no password to it I discovered that it was opened up to your stream. I immediately fell in love with your casting and am truly appreciative of the entertainment you have provided us throughout the weeks. I am still here, surviving of of the large amounts of krill that come through, and my eagle buddy, who I have decided to refer to as 'The Bird' is currently flapping around in the dark. Thanks for all you do and don't stop, at least until I get out of here. Kappa.
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onjit03/06/2019
THIS IS THE TRUE DUNSPARCE! SKATE2WIN AND MYSPACE ARE NO MATCH FOR ME! I WILL EAT UP JIMMY NEUTRON BOY SATAN!!! JIMMY NEUTRON BOY SATAN!!! IT IS ABOUT THIS BOY WHO TURNS TO A SATAN AND HIS RIVALS INCLUDE MEWTWO (GO TROUBLE SHOWDOWN!!!), THE REAL SATAN (He's not cool), ROBOT DEVIL (Robot Hell is 1337!), AND BOOPER GRANDSON (YOU MOP FLIPPING ****!). JIMMY NEUTRON BOY SATAN ALSO HAS FRIENDS SUCH AS CARL THE LARD EATER AND SHEEN THE CULT WORSHIPER! THERES CINDY THE HELL VORTEX AND LIBBY THE DEMONIC SECRETARY! THEY GO TO HELL SCHOOL AND THEIR TEACHER, THE ELDER MRS DEVIL TEACHES THEM HOW TO BE NEW BOY SATANS! JIMMY NEUTRON TRIES TO MAKE SATAN TRUE BUT THEN HIS RIVALS (Except for the real Satan) ALWAYS FOIL HIS PLANS AND DO COOLER THINGS BESIDES DOING CRAP AND MAKING A CRAPPY SHOW! ALSO JIMMY NEUTRON HAS A MECHANICHAL CEREBRUS CALLED DRADDOG AND IT EATS JIMMY NEUTRON BOY SATAN EVERY SINGLE EPISODE! BUT IT GOT CANCELED.
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onjit03/10/2019
have you ever heard the joke ab out the box? in the year 3000 here ima tell you another joke first in the year 3000 someone asked what year is it and they said "3000 bc" and they said "what the heck is christ" get it? but the box its very depressing so there was once a dude who was walking down the street right so he found he got hit by a car but he saw a box and there was a note inside the box and there was a note inside the box and it said there was a dude walking down the street and and he landed on a box and he opened the box and there was a note that said there was a dude walking down the street and he got hit by a car and OH MY SENSITIVITY oh and he got note and he was walking down the street right ok a died but yeah so thats a joke isnt that great INFINITELY LOOPING JOKE it's great
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do you wanna hear my signiture joke that NO ONE has NOT laughed at so one day in roblox this kid and he found an EGIRL in robLOX and when he found it he was like and he was a 40 eyar old man not a kid and he found a 12 year old beautiful uGLY girl and he said h-how are you doing and the girl said "ur fat" so the dude proceeded to kill himself the end
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onjit03/11/2019
pauls house of fish gourmet. high class. paul's house of fish. i stepped through the doors and i was greeted by a man who i assumed to be paul. he flashed his yellow teeth. "nice day for some seafood chow!" he said. i nodded and set myself down on one of the adjacent booths. he passed me a grimy menu. "melted butter. it's on the house!" i told him "alright! but i am not in the mood for such sauce. may i order some bread and mussels?" "yes of course. it is a paul family secret recipe." i waited for the platter to arrive. i saw paul in the kitchen; he was the only one there. he lifted up a lobster and went "smooch smooch smooch." he saw me looking at him and flashed his yellow teeth again. "i love talking with my babies" he screamed at the top of his lungs. my order arrived and it was steaming hot. the bread was fresh and the mussels were hydrated. "mmm good" i told paul. "whatever can i expect from a house of fish?" paul gripped his lower abdomen and cried "IT HURTS". then he looked at me and laughed. "thank you, thank you so very much. i worked hard to earn this house of fish." we both laughed. i finished all the mussels and gave paul the rest of the bread. i told him i would rate his dining establishment more stars than the sky. he started to cry. "there there, paul" i said as i wiped away his tears. "you'll learn. someday." he screamed and we cradled each other under the flourescent lights.
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onjit03/21/2019
Asian women are often quite easy to propagate. Look for a healthy asian woman absent of flower buds, disease and insects. Using a sharp, sterile knife make a clean cut at a 45° angle to maximize the rooting area. Cuttings should be about 3-6 inches long (shorter if the woman is small) and include the tip of the woman, and at least two or three sets of limbs attached. Remove the bottom set of limbs (new roots will often develop from this area) and dip the end you just cut into rooting gel. This will help seal the cut tissue and promote new root growth. Then place the cutting into a small pot with moist vermiculite, perlite or other soilless potting mix. Be sure to poke a small hole in the growing medium before placing the woman into it. This way the rooting solution won’t rub off of the asian woman. Then you do your standard rounds of care for a number of years until your asian woman becomes mature and, eventually, old. Piece of cake.
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onjit03/29/2019
I bring my car to a stop and promptly exit the vehicle before the officer has the opportunity to approach. I stand still and face the officer with an expression-less look, with one hand tightly grasping onto an unopened bottle of Johnnie Walker Black Label. I swiftly open the container of alcohol and down the entire contents of the iconic square bottle. I then proceed to lay on the ground with my hands behind my back, with my Miranda rights invoked through my abject silence. Your honour, it cannot be proven that my client was intoxicated while operating a motor vehicle. We can only speak about the bad judgment of consuming a large quantity of alcohol prior to arrest while outside the vehicle, that for which we can only speculate on, either caused or contributed towards the blood alcohol level exceeding the legal limits.
=====

onjit04/04/2019
Does anyone else wish they could transform into a small version of yourself, like an ant sized version of you. I don't know why the thought of becoming small and being trapped on a spider web thrills me. Just a poor helpless prey trapped in the clutches of a fearsome and beautiful widow.It reminds me of that Simpsons episode where Bart was a fly and pretended to be trapped in the web
and that gorgeous spider elegantly made her way over to him.
=====

onjit04/04/2019
i've scrolled up the last 7 days of text. I brewed coffee, made my dinner, and sat down for a long period of time analysing each text in every channel. Every message deeply analysed by my high tech computers. Minutes turned into hours. Hours into days. I locked myself in my room as I kept scrolling and scrolling endlessly. What was I looking for?! Text became jumbled up words. I grow weary and tired but I pressed on out of sheer burning curiosity. Was it all a rouse? Did I miss it? This server goes on endlessly and I don't know how long I can scroll until I meet my demise via exhaustion... I need help...A sign... I'm cold and alone.
=====

onjit04/06/2019
Now before any of you report me for **** hear me out. First according to the height of a Minion (which is 3.5 feet on average) Gru is 4 minions tall, which means he is a godly size of 14 feet tall. Second if any of you remember the original Despicable Me, you Know there is a scene when Vector kidnaps the three girls and shoots a series of heat-seeking misses at Gru, he then dodge them all. According to the speed of an average ballistic missile (1900 mph) and the size of the missile according to his ankle size, Gru can perceive and move at such a speed that the missiles only move 9.5 miles per hour, 0.5% of their original speed. Plus after this Gru punches a shark and it is paralyzed meaning its spine is probably shattered, to remind you it would require a force greater than 3,000 newtons to fracture the spine. That’s equal to the impact created by a 500-pound car crashing into a wall at 30 miles per hour. I rest my case.
=====

onjit04/07/2019
I Tried The Captain Kutchie's Key Lime Pies And Those PieGasams Healed All My Symptoms Within The First 4-Weeks! I highly Recommend Captain Kutchie’s Key Lime Pies For Anything That Ails You!....("They're Great"!!!.)..
..
…Kobe Bryant May Be Retiring From Basket Ball But Captain Kutchie’s Is Still His Pie Of Choice!… …Can’t Get Enough Of That Key Lime Pie, Key Lime Pie, Key Lime Pie. Can’t Get Enough Of That Key Lime Pie Or I’ll Just Cry Until I Die, I Don’t Know Why I Just Love My Key Lime Pies!….
.
...This Key Lime Pie Is For Our Old Friend, "The Late Great MEADOWLARK LEMON"!...RIP OLD BUDDY!...Keep Spinning Those Pies Dude!... ..
..This Key Lime Pie Goes Out-Too Our Other Buddy "GLENN FREY"!....Rock and Roll Heaven Just Keeps Feeling Up!....So Glenn,....Take It Easy Buddy. Or As You Always Said, You'll Take It Anyway You Can Get It!... . .
…that “Captain Kutchie Pelaez” of “Kutcharitaville” over in Asheville, NC sure enough is “One Wild and Crazy Guy!” All the women are so wild about him and his Famous Cheese Burgers and Key Lime Pies,
Hellaciously Fantastic Tender and Delicious Prime Ribs and Prime Steaks.
Drop Off the Bone Bar-B-Q Ribs, Pulled Pork and Beef Brisket.
His Drop Dead Gorgeous Wife “Anita” together in they’re Historic Key
Lime Pie Factory and Grill, where the Smiles and Ovens are always Warm
and Friendly, Inviting You to Spend A Little Time Resting and Enjoying
Your Time in They’re Little “Key West Island” near the Biltmore Estate
=====

zonii04/08/2019
Life can come up with a multiplicity of problems and issues particularly in relationships. I wish everyone had a chance to know who they are falling in love with. Simply because we fall in love with people we don’t thoroughly know. Then all of the sudden they adjust their behavior. But love is something else. Love is a very strong feeling that you cannot effortlessly desist. As long as it is real and true then it needs tolerance, patience and composure. I was involved in a relationships requiring perseverance. My fiance always came up with mysterious actions. He would come home drunk and would yell at everyone in the house over negligible topics. He ended up cheating on me and wouldn’t want us to talk about it, instead he would just threaten me and would point at me with his gun and slap me, imagine even when the child was observing all that but I couldn’t arrest him because of what I felt about him. But I went to Mama Anna  and asked for the binding love spell and the love spell to stop a cheater. And she also get me something to stop him from drinking. Soon after casting these spells he changed and went back to the normal guy I fell in love with. Thank you Mama Anna.
====

onjit04/10/2019
Tale of the Bristle Glomp
I sat down on the poo poo throne,
My knees were weak with ease.
The putrid goo spilled from my hole,
and clogged the flush machine.

I flushed and flushed to no avail,
The brown just wouldn't fit.
I took the plunge and plunged so hard
My palms were doused with ****.

I sat and thought until the sun
Threw down it's golden  glare.
I sat and thought until my poo
Coalesced with water's bare.

Throughout the night I stared and stared
At that brown slimy soup,
But then it came to me so quick
It threw me out of loop.

In the corner, the bristles sat
Teasing me like trash.
It said to me while in a dream,
"Use me as a mash."

And so I mashed, I mashed that soup
The bristles full of glomp.
But I hadn't thought of what came next,
The glomp would not unglomp.

I sat and thought, and thought, and thought,
and thought, and thought, and thought.
I thought so much my head blew up
into a billion **** pieces holy ****, how am I gonna clean this up

Like a flash it struck me so,
Lightning was it's name.
Wafflestomp that glomp right down
that silver shower drain.

I placed the bristles near the hole
And opened the faucet hole.
The glomp beglomped on top the hole
Hole hole hole hole hole

The deed was almost done, oh man
Oh man, just one last thing
I stuck my foot right near the drain
and stomped the glomp bing bing

There it ends the mighty tale,
Of the bristle glomp.
If someday this occurred to you,
Do the wafflestomp!
=====

onjit04/12/2019
When my wife and I started dating she invited me over for dinner at one time. Her kitchen had something called Bauhaus chairs, which are full of holes, approx 5-6 millimeters in diameter in both back and seat. During this lovely dinner I was forced to liberate a small portion of wind and was relieved that I managed to do so very discretely. Only to find that the chair I sat on converted the successful silence into a perfect, and loud, flute note. We were both (luckily) amazed and surprised and I have often wondered what the odds are for something like that happening. We kept the chairs for five years but despite laborious attempts it couldn't be reproduced.
=====

onjit04/16/2019
When i was a kid my mother used to make farfalle's all the time, i think they're my favourite shape of pasta, its because there's no center for it to be undercooked, the center of it is smaller than its edges thus the center can never be undercooked, id go so far as to say its a genius shape for a pasta, you cant get more of a perfect shape. They always taste delicious too, the sauce always perfectly covers it, again its because of the shape, there's no middle to be left sauceless, its always perfectly covered in the delicious homemade sauce my mother makes.
=====

Brain in a jar04/17/2019
Chick-fil-A Chicken Sandwich $3.05

Chick-fil-A Chicken Sandwich – Combo $5.95

Chick-fil-A Chicken Deluxe Sandwich $3.65

Chick-fil-A Chicken Deluxe Sandwich Combo $6.55

Spicy Chicken Sandwich $3.29

Spicy Chicken Sandwich – Combo $6.19

Spicy Chicken Deluxe Sandwich $3.89

Spicy Chicken Deluxe Sandwich – Combo $6.79

Chick-fil-A Nuggets 8 Pc. $3.05

Chick-fil-A Nuggets 12 Pc. $4.45

Chick-fil-A Nuggets – Combo 8 Pc. $5.95

Chick-fil-A Nuggets – Combo 12 Pc. $8.59

Chick-fil-A Nuggets (Grilled) 8 Pc. $3.85

Chick-fil-A Nuggets (Grilled) 12 Pc. $5.75

Chick-fil-A Nuggets (Grilled) – Combo 8 Pc. $6.75

Chick-fil-A Nuggets (Grilled) – Combo 12 Pc. $8.59

Chick-n-Strips 3 Pc. $3.35

Chick-n-Strips 4 Pc. $4.39

Chick-n-Strips – Combo 3 Pc. $6.25

Chick-n-Strips – Combo 4 Pc. $7.25

Grilled Chicken Sandwich $4.39

Grilled Chicken Sandwich – Combo $7.19

Grilled Chicken Club Sandwich $5.59

Grilled Chicken Club Sandwich – Combo $8.39

Chicken Salad Sandwich $3.99

Chicken Salad Sandwich – Combo $6.79

Grilled Chicken Cool Wrap $5.19

Grilled Chicken Cool Wrap – Combo $8.15

Soup & Salad (Large Chicken Soup and Side Salad) $8.35

Chilled Grilled Chicken Sub Sandwich (Limited Time) $4.79

Substitute Medium Premium Side $1.00

Upsize Fries & Drink $0.46
====

onjit04/18/2019
bad pasta tbh

hardly even a pasta at all

Wabadaba04/18/2019
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Frex04/18/2019
a
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pingo04/18/2019
I want to start a novelty shop called "up your butt and around the corner" that sells things like fidget spinners and any other knick knack that would prompt someone to ask where you got it. I also want to find a road named "urbutt"(probably have to name my own road) and I will put my shop around the corner. This will be the double whammy, once someone finally understands that the store is called "up your butt and around the corner, they will hopefully ask how to get there, and the response will be proudly presented as a short list of regular directions followed by "go up Urbutt and around the corner and you're there!"
====

onjit04/26/2019
You have to be cool. If you're thinking about your bowel movements all the time, then it's just going to make it harder. Relax, and try to think about something else. Stay still! Although standing up will help, if you start making abrupt movements or doing something that requires exertion (such as running), it’s going to be a lot tougher. Above all, keep your dignity and stay calm. Make sure not to panic or hold your hand against your behind. It's all about applying mental will to the situation. Come up with distracting thoughts like a kitten loving and cuddling you. Nothing funny or you may have a real accident in your pants. Find a phrase, and repeat it over and over again in your mind to focus your mind on something else. Another way to distract yourself is by striking up a conversation with someone. Watch TV, read a book, or listen to music. Do anything to move your mind on to other thoughts for the time being. A mental task that requires concentration is best, such as playing a word game or writing down a to-do list.
=====

pingo05/08/2019
Here, the artist PilotRedSun presents to us a tale of morality, and whether or not it objectively exists. The unnamed man desperately attempts to get his fritzy living room television up and running. The top of the television reads "ultra high frequency box" and the barely-working television screen shows the vague figure of a man. The man on the screen is a manifestation of perfect morality, while the television itself represents the lens of absolute morality. The unnamed man wants the image to be clear, meaning that he wants to know what it means to be objectively moral. The television fails to give him a clear answer. Feeling betrayed and angry, the unnamed man attempts to destroy the taunting symbol of moral perfection. He concludes that morality will never be an easily-discernible picture by any rule of measurement, no matter how "high frequency" it is. The unnamed man is visited by Santa Clause, manifesting as God, both of whom are moral authorities in their own rights. Outraged by the unnamed man's abandonment of his moral edict, Santa offers the unnamed man a choice. He may choose to be transformed into a saint (s a i n t e), which is creature of pure, unrelenting moral goodness, or a grinch (g r u n c h), which is a creature of pure, unrelenting moral depravity. Santa leaves the unnamed man to make his decision, and the unnamed man, unable to remove himself from his divine predicament, bitterly chooses to become a grinch. Instantly his body and thoughts become flooded with hatred and poison. He takes to his journal and poses the question to himself, "Have I truly become a monster?" He takes to the streets for public consensus on the question.
He dawns a leather jacket and white shirt, and styles his hair in the unmistakable manner of a juvenile delinquent, and then he dances for the bystanders. His costume represents the admittance of his new moral bankruptcy, but his dancing represents virtuous elements of the human spirit, life, grace and poetry. The whole thing is a thought-provoking piece of performance art which reiterates the question he asked himself. Has he truly become a monster? Despite his flaws, does he not have beauty inside himself as well? The people stare at him blankly. They do not know the answer his question. Soon, the Grinch himself comes to take on that same stare, as is shown in the end. His sense of self-worth and his moral status both remain uncertain.
====

onjit05/25/2019
This is what I remember, and it's only a fraction. So our world is a vapor world because vapors formed the basis of everything, pulled together to form planets and stars and whatnot. But there was also a time world, which idk how it was created. I could travel there by making a portal with some green thick liquid, there was a female creature there, that was different to the other people in that world, called something like "the endless", and somehow it was related to the conservatives here **** up the housing market
=====

Vitus05/25/2019
Good copypasta

Helist05/25/2019
=====

onjit06/15/2019
In order to understand the appeal of NASCAR, we have to talk about soldiers, astronauts, and prestige. Being a soldier comes with a certain amount of prestige. Most people find their sacrifice admirable but you dont have to search far to find people who disagree. You’d be hard-pressed, however to find anyone who doubts the prestige of an astronaut. You can talk about intelligence and science degrees and technical skills all you want but the fact of the matter is that soldiers fight against other soldiers in man made wars while astronauts fight against the surly bonds of nature itself. It takes bravery to volunteer yourself to go fight in some foreign far-off land, but it takes a whole another level of bravery to strap yourself into a pressurized metal canister and fly out of the top of the sky. Astronauts have so much prestige because they come the closest to kissing the snarling jaws of certain death. Theres no denying that war is also deadly, but humans have been fighting and killing each other since the dawn of man. Its easy to understand the nature of warfare. Its difficult to understand the limits of nature itself and nothing is more terrifying then what we dont understand...Ah who am I kidding, this is a dumb analogy...NASCAR Drivers are nothing like astronauts. I mean come on...

Have you ever seen a NASCAR fly?
=====

onjit06/24/2019
On Mondays I wear blue.
    On Tuesdays I wear a plaid sweater with lightly tanned Dockers. Then, it’s either brown loafers or checkered Converse sneakers with the laces removed.
    On Wednesdays I scatter myself in non-reflective glitter while putting on a neon pink skinsuit. I fit into a turquoise Uniqlo jacket and grease my hair with a special gel that makes it smell like ****. I put on grey joggers with holes in the knees, and tuck the ankle seams into black dress socks that have red hearts patterned over them. Afterwards, it’s either brown loafers or checkered Converse sneakers with the laces removed.
    On Thursdays I urinate into a crystal whiskey glass and marinate a white dress tie in the secreted liquid. As I let the juices seep into the fabric, I extract acids from an Israeli lemon (very expensive) and inject it into my eyes. I then collect the lemon infused tears into a pipette, which I consequently drip over a pair of white, linen socks as Pollock does to an empty canvas. While the socks dry on a radiator, I put on a full-black tank top and an extra-extra-large pair of cargo shorts I hold up with a belt constructed out of checkered Converse laces. I also put on a Supreme sweatshirt, which I defaced to make it say “up me”. I slick my hair back with the same gel I used on Wednesday, but this time I cover up the smell with Lysol. At this point the socks have dried, and the lemon juices have formed crusty circles which vaguely resemble bacterial growths. The combination of faint citrus and vanilla bean merge to form the scent of key lime pie, which both entice and confuse civilians around me. I chose to wear Crocs but instead of multiple holes there is just one big hole in front of my hallux. The Crocs also have two-foot heels that allow me to spit on top of people’s heads.
    On Fridays I wear nothing.

onjit06/27/2019
=====
Hello, fellow homosexuals. It is us, [MULTI-BILLION DOLLAR CORPORATION]. Here to remind you that we support your lifestyle now that it has been federally legalised and it is completely socially safe, allowing for us to capitalise on your existence now it's mainstream. Look, we even changed the colours of [LOGO]! Why did we wait this long to come out and 'support' you? Haha, no more questions, homosexual. Buy our product. Buy our product. BUY OUR PRODUCT.

Vitus06/27/2019
===========

onjit06/30/2019
I once saw this mime who got “trapped in an invisible box”. At first it was pretty normal stuff...then he started to visibly look nervous, eventually building into a full blown panic. He started to have trouble breathing, evidently the “box” had no source of fresh air. In the end, he slumped against an invisible “wall” and slid down to the ground, apparently falling unconscious, and he remained there, perfectly still, impossibly slumped against the invisible sides of the box, without moving a muscle.

After a few minutes a woman became concerned and approached him, evidently “popping” the box. He immediately fell to the ground and then inhaled this huge breath of air and then quickly recovered.

It was the most impressive mime show I have ever seen...although I was just a kid and I remember being extremely disturbed by the performance.
=====

onjit07/11/2019
What is up, home skillet! Wanna go surfing the information superhighway that is the World Wide Web? It's pretty fly! Just remember your netiquette! Don't want to get called a troll in the newsgroups and get kicked out of cyberspace. And be careful what hyperlinks you click on. They could go to some wack webzones. TMOT.
=====

pingo07/11/2019
On Saturdays I obtain the tie that I marinated on Thursday and smoke it on a Foreman grill. As it cooks, I quickly weave myself a t-shirt constructed out of dried flax while listening to the entire Herbie Hancock discography on the lowest volume possible. Due to Herbie Hancock’s innate ability to hypnotize a listener through jazz and post-bop compositions, I fail to create the flax shirt. In place, I am forced to wear the pink skin-suit from Wednesday which occasionally house leftover glitter particles that irritate my pores. Through a chaotic and slightly impossible system, this failure leads to a gradual wave of nationalism in the European continent that influences the complete dismantling of the European Union. As the global economy plunges, I take the tie out of my grill (which has been reduced to char) and eat it.
    On Sundays I wake up to violent riots on television and contemplate the downward spiral of society. To illustrate this concept, I dress myself in unassuming garb and walk the dusty streets of my neighborhood block. I avoid eye contact with the police drones and enter the canteen in order to purchase my weekly rations. As I clutch the food package, the air raid alarms began to blare agonizing notes, signaling the approach of intercontinental ballistic missiles. Civilians rush towards the public shelters, but I abstain. I drop the food package and walk a brisk step towards the pier. It is enigmatic to me, that one simple sound could transform carousers into tramplers; neighbors into enemies. The savagery of man bloom like stubborn flowers, and we lose regard for the world and funnel it into ourselves. Here, under the blanket of threat, we all become kings. We become the prince that should live, the dame that should be saved. But we cannot have everyone be the prince or the dame, so life becomes a contest that has no winners.
    I sit on a bench and wait.
=====

zonii07/13/2019
Um, Hi. I have something that Iv'e been thinking about for a long time.. I have a sort of crush on a YouTuber. I have seen other posts similar to mine, but I do not really know if I fall into their category. See, I do fangirl quite a bit. I'm just so attracted to his (yes, his!) personality, his everything. I don't exactly "stalk" him on social media, but i do check his posts quite frequently. he has a load of subscribers and recently posted about vidcon, I was in anguish. I wanted to meet him, get to know him. I feel kind of creepy saying this, but he has this awesome accent. Everything about him... I just wanna actually meet him, actually know him, but heck, a million other people will probably do that first. And i probably will never get to, but heck, I can dream! (Creepiest part yet- I actually have dreams about him) I feel like a huge creep right now, and lately Iv'e been googling him so much it just goes beyond normal. I even tried to make fanart, but.... I just wanted to say it. I AM OBSESSED WITH A FRICKING YOUTUBER.

And the most tormenting part is he is only three years older than me. Three!

phew. i actually feel better.
====

onjit08/01/2019
I remember grandma Ooga telling me about how kids these days are lucky, they hadn’t invented fire when she was a child; those cold hard winters where the only thing to keep you warm was the embrace from the organs of your many dead siblings and the thirst quenching cannibalism they had to resort to. Kids these days have it lucky, lot less cannibalism nowadays but still a few dead siblings here and there at least they make for good fire fuel in a sense. The smell of the burning carcasses still remind my granny of those good ol’ times. Ah, those good ol' times. Those were the days. When my uncle and I would alternate putting our **** in a mouse trap. Whoever screamed first would have to feed the other a little bit of our foreskin. Let’s just say he’s completely circumcised now haha.
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UnableToAssume08/01/2019
Guys help, I’m trapped in the McDonalds Play Place. I told my Mom I would be out by the time our order was ready, but she’s too busy complaining to the manager to notice me. I’m at the blue dome facing the dining area, it’s the one connected to the green and red tube things, it’s right above the net. Please guys, I’m **** scared right now, there’s nothing but raw **** piling in the corner and rancid **** stains on the floor, there’s even a rotting corpse in the tunnel right by me.

Please come and help me guys, my McDonalds Happy Meal is probably getting cold.

=====

Bimps08/08/2019
the last thing that made me laugh **** what was it... oh right.... i was walking around my room and i was thinking "erghhhhh ooooooog, you big fat ****, show me your SPECIAL CHOCOLATE, SHOW ME YOUR LEEKS, i gotta big bucket of freshly popped boil cheese that would LOVE to be in your country curd infested ranch holes, mhmmmm yes, mhmmm ooooooooohhhhh rub my warts, shoot me with a big blast of that chocolate onion bay bay, oooooo show me the garlic squeeze mhmmmmm"

something like that, and i was snickering and making faces while i round house kicked the air over and over, and i was also remarking out loud about instructions for surviving lightning storms to this man that appeared in my dreams in the 90s, he was indian and wanted to show me how to milk goats in the middle of a lightning storm with electric wires shooting all over the sky full of zapping electric currents and circling crows filling the air with miserable bird but i was more concerned with the radio signals going nuts and zoinking my buds, such nasty sounds

=====

onjit08/09/2019
Dude thats nothing. I was swimming with sharks during my summer break, and he bit my leg off, my friend was like, dude that must hurt and I was laughing and ****. Then he took another bite and got my left hand clean off, my friend was like dude you're left handed, this is terrible, I just kept laughing harder because I'm so strong. The blood was spraying now, and really starting to attract a lot more sharks, my mate is like, hey I see like 10 more fins coming towards you, get out of the water! I laughed and laughed, then I was pulled under and my friend could still hear me laughing until they got my neck and it became muffled gurgles underwater. Classic sharks, easily the funniest day of the summer, almost as good as the time I went hunting for wolverines.
=====

Helist08/12/2019
᠎I really enjoy milk. More than anyone I know actually.

If I only had to pick one for breakfast, I'd have a bowl of milk over a bowl of dry cereal.

I guess people think I'm weird with my milk. I eat it with pizza, and I think that's normal. Spaghetti is an absolute must, more so than cookies lol.

Another really good combo is potato chips, or really any snack. Chinese food, steak and taters, even Indian food. And nothing washes down a good gyro like a glass 'o milk.

I don't drink it with sushi though. Not that I cant, or don't want to, I've just never had the 'man, I wish I had some milk' feeling I get with the others.

I can't think of a single meal I eat regularly that isn't massively improved by a glass of ice cold milk. These include grilled chicken breast, pork chops, any type of pasta, any type of sandwhich, salmon, every kind of soup, and even holiday dinners like ham or turkey. I'm forgetting a ****, but oh well.

Occasionally, I'll just put a little bit of peanut butter on crackers as a snack. The only real reason I do this is because I love the feeling of washing it down with milk.

I could easily drink milk when I'm in that super-thirsty-just-ran-a-mile zone, too. I mean, not when I'm still huffing and puffing, but at the normal point one would drink water after an intense excersize.

(Also, I don't put ice in my milk, i just like it super cold. I mean, I'm not a **** freak)
=========

pingo08/28/2019
Some kid wrote "soccer" on the inside panel of my roommate's closet and I still think about it from time to time. What could it mean? Does he play soccer? Does his roommate play soccer? Perhaps he secretly hates soccer, and the act of writing "soccer" on the inside panel of a closet acts as catharsis for his bottled anger. Really makes you think.
=====

Bimps09/01/2019
So sometimes when time is okay i like to do thing to do yes its fun but also challenging like the thing i do and then i dance because dancing is dancing is a thing you can do and things are things and you can do them because doing things is just doing them and thats how things are done so i do things and things are dancing amd dancing are things and yes sometimes i do but maybe dont be a yes dogs are bad but soemtimes dogs are cats because dancing is a soul and if dogs dance they're soul can get mixed up and be cats and then cats arw dogs are cats and fish become lizards amd this is when no dont do the things because the things are wrong and cant be done so they arent done so dont do them
========

onjit09/07/2019
First time I learned I had no gag reflex it was because I attempted to drink soda from a can and I accidentally and unknowingly breathed it in and noticed quickly after something was very wrong when I couldn't breathe nearly at all
=====

onjit09/08/2019
Wild Wild West holds a special place in my heart.

Not the movie- but the song. Allow me to spin you a true story about friendship and overcoming adversity in the face of technology.

Many years ago, during what I call the Happy Times in my life, a few friends and I had a bar we went to regularly. We realized that Crazy **** by Buckcherry was the #1 played song in the jukebox in the smoking room, so we set out on a quest to make the worst, yet most tolerable, song we could find in there to be the new #1. So, we embarked on a quest. We put many, MANY dollars in this jukebox, week after week, and only on the off-hours so we didn't irritate too many patrons with this dumb endeavor, and since it was only playing in the smoking room, usually we were the only ones in there, puffing away on a cigar and drinking some beers. We probably looked like some rough riders, people didn't want nada to do with us.

Eventually, we got it up to #3 after a couple months of this goofy ****. BUT THEN- The jukebox's hard drive crashed. All our work! Lost! Everything ruined! For a couple weeks, we sat in silence, remembering the good times, listening to the tales of West, Jim West, Desperado.

But then! Light at the end of the tunnel! We came in one day, and the jukebox was fixed! Even better, the song catalog was back as it was! Unfortunately, the "most played" list was also wiped, and we were dismayed. But, after having absorbed the wisdom of the song, we were the slickest they is and the quickest they is, and we realized an opportunity was at hand. We came back on a sunday when nobody was there, and just played the everloving **** out of that song all day, and managed to get it to the #1 spot in one sitting. It was our proudest accomplishment, and from then on we knew we were the the defenders of the west, crushing all pretenders in the west.
=====

onjit09/12/2019
It's been 15 minutes and it's still bleeding my nose I am dying I've always dying that's a calculator 5 / 2 / 2 1 / 4 die they're asking can I bring my own design can I alter their designs are there other designs available in the shop I want to know this ahead of time That was a fry I'll look at me like that don't don't don't don't okay Ali I'm sorry I got the bloody nose because I stole a chicken nugget light caramel is a lie and you know it they put pickles on the fries they'll probably be pretty good honestly in my mouth I want a Minecraft Burger yep Yep what lip smacking disease what I'm glad we just like jamming it's a dripping are there M&M's in it those are so good I think it's just Eminem in oreo now yo what's up it's still going and there's blood dripping from under third time out do you get the okay you understand yes yeah you have to be really good at keeping secrets what is this it's like it has nothing to do but I'm not supposed to know okay so did you go in somewhere and then was like knows just a missing does she's like oh great and then went in Davis's room yeah she I went to high school with her she is something I'm the teen am I why help hello I'm almost done you never said her name or last name
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onjit09/14/2019
I get that you are a troll, but what motivates you to do what you do? Is it that you enjoy inflaming conversations, or is it more of a fetish thing? Are you angry and just want to not be alone in anger? I simply wish to understand
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whomstdve09/20/2019
It was my first year there. I went there from junior college and the situation was I had two seniors above me, so I was hoping to go in and redshirt and be able to play three (seasons). It was an awesome setup, you know?

So we get into game four, and we move our backup (quarterback) to running back because he was our best running back and then the starter got knocked out, concussion. So, shoot, I go in there, play about a half and then we get in for the next week and the starter’s going to be back. So I’m like, “Dang, I just played a half and really wasted a half of a year on playing ball” you know? So I was pretty **** and started looking around at what my options were, and the only thing I could do would be to get a medical redshit. But if I played in this next game, then that would be off the table.

So, I get an idea. I go home, I grab a bottle of Jack Daniel’s and I grab a hammer. I go back into my room and take a pull of Jack Daniel’s, put my hand down on the table and — BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! 1, 2, 3 — hit the hell out of my hand, dude. I’m sitting there shaking, but I know it’s not broke, so I’m like, “God, come on.” Take another pull. 1, 2, 3, again, still nothing. I’m just shaking at this point, man. I knew it wasn’t broken, so another pull, another three hits, and that was all I could take. I couldn’t break my own hand.

But when I told the guys, what would you do for more football? Because I’d do damn near anything.

It was good getting the experience. But, dude, I had a swollen-**** hand for about a few weeks. I just told the coaches I closed it in a car door
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onjit09/26/2019
You enter a Subway store, and it's empty, slightly too cool to be comfortable, slightly too damp to feel clean, and slightly too bright to be inviting. There is one lonely employee, who does their best not to look at you for those awkward 10 seconds while you walk to the counter before you're close enough to order. You know you interrupted them while they were doing something else. They give their greeting, ask you what you want, you begin scanning their workspace. The bins of raw ingredients are sitting askew, separated by steel walls, yet careless hands have dropped some of each on all the others. The preparation area is littered with crumbs and bits of lettuce, maybe the odd olive or onion piece here or there that has wedged itself into the crack between the food trays and the cutting board. This could have been cleaned up while nobody was there, but the employee doesn't care. For one second you wonder how it got messy in the first place given the lack of customers. Maybe it's staged, like those first few pennies in a homeless person's hat. Do you want it toasted? You do, but that would mean standing here for a minute with the stranger you disturbed waiting for the bread to be sanitized.
You observe the employee assemble your sandwich, making sure to painstakingly put each ingredient on only one half of the sub. You ask for sauce and they squeeze it out of a disgusting rubber nipple, then toss the bottle back into its bin like they don't want to touch it either. Are they wearing those gloves to keep the food clean, or their hands? You pay, the sandwich heavily sags into a flimsy garbage bag it doesn't really seem to fit in and is handed to you. You walk out, into the light of the sun. The colors suddenly seem real again and you become aware of your breathing because the air feels rich and life giving somehow. The distant memory of tasty subs that brought you here lingers just beyond the edge of clear recollection, like an old acquaintance who's face you can't picture anymore. You carry your catch to the car. When did it get this bad?
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onjit02/20/2019
YOU SUCK! You a no talent piece of ****. GET OUT! How dare you come down here and do this. Im here 14 years, I've lived in this town my whole life, you're a DISGRACE. YOU SUCK! Who the hell do you think you are? Who the hell do you think you are? You any kind of artist? Anybody know who you are?! Maybe everyone else wants to enjoy the peace and quiet. This is one of the most important places in all of North America, who are you? WHO ARE YOU?! You miserable, presumptuous NO TALENT. You're no artist. An artist respects the silence that serves the foundation of creativity. You OBVIOUSLY dont have the talent, You dont have enough respect for yourself or other people OR what it is to express yourself; In music or ANY other form of creativity. And i'm an NYU Film School graduate, SUCKA! And The School of Visual Arts, And The Academy of Art University San Fransisco. You SUCK. You're a NO talent. If you really had talent, go practice! And than get yourself a gig! Instead of ruining the end of the day for everybody down here. You DISGRACE!! You are everything thats gone wrong with this world. You're a self-consumed, no talent, mediocre piece of ****, and i've earned my right to say it. OKAY?! I had Two-Hundered-thousand people with Bill Graham, in 1975. I walked Bob Dylan up on stage, who the **** are you? I knew the Grateful Dead from 1966, who the **** ARE YOU!? You're nothing, You're nothing, You are nothing and you will never be anything. Never. How dare you? How dare you? You miserable mediocre nothing! Shame on you. You cracked stupid little smile, you little PIMP. Go learn to play, Go learn to play, you're flat. You cant even carry a ****' note. I dont care about your little, like, horn lip. 'cause it doesn't mean you know how to play. you're flat! I'm trained CLASSICALLY, I'm trained contemporaneously, and you suck.
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On a good day you’re a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go. You smarmy lager lout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock. You grotty **** oink artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish foot-licking twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You gormless crook-pated tosser. You churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You cockered bum-bailey poofter. You craven dewberry **** cockup pratting naff. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill. You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away. I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I’m sorry. I can’t go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me.
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You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent, opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, byzantine, conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, libelous, bilious, splenetic, spastic, ignorant, clueless, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb, evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, dystopic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive, mind-numbing, arassive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive, socially-retarded, puerile, clueless, and generally NOT GOOD.
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onjit02/20/2019
Honestly this server is pretty garbage. I've been here actively for at least 24 nano seconds now, and I have to say it's been a pretty big let down. With a server of this size I expected quality and active conversation, especially on different types of Typology; be it enneagram, MBTI, even alignments. I hate to say it but this server lacks that. It seems the userbase is mostly composed of thots, gay sensors, pathetic feelers, and ironically unironic low IQ INTP. While this would fly on 4chan, it does a disservice to the Typology community. So much so that I believe the admin would be doing us all a favor by deleting it. Now this may be funny to you guys but as an INTJ type 5 I'm looking out for KNOWLEDGE and it's my personal responsibility to make sure all you **** commies learn something. This server serves as nothing more than an autism containment zone.
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rainbow02/21/2019
tfw my own pasta makes it into hall of fame

onjit03/15/2019
You sweet summer ****. I am the lizard king. I make more money walking down the street than you do in a lifetime. And you think you can belittle me? Seriously? I, the closest humanity has ever gone to reaching god-like characteristics, being taunted by a puny ant that is yourself; how comedic. You are aware I have the power to procure a shotgun from my magic pocket, right? Bet those shells would wipe that stupid chipmunk smile off your greasy face. **** unbelievable.
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Brain in a jar04/19/2019
Honestly this server is pretty garbage. I've been here actively for at least 16 months now, and I have to say it's been a pretty big let down. With a server of this size I expected quality and active conversation, especially on different types of NL videos; be it Isaac, gungeon, even STS. I hate to say it but this server lacks that. It seems the userbase is mostly composed of thots, gay sensors, pathetic feelers, and ironically unironic low IQ idiots. While this would fly on 4chan, it does a disservice to the Northernlion community. So much so that I believe the admin would be doing us all a favor by deleting it. Now this may be funny to you guys but as an NL sub for 3 years I'm looking out for KNOWLEDGE and it's my personal responsibility to make sure all you **** commies learn something. This server serves as nothing more than an autism containment zone.
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onjit05/26/2019
You wrote that yourself? wow congrats dude, really, that's very cool. i just told everyone in my family about it, everybody thinks that's very impressive and asked me to congratulate you. they want to speak to you in person, if possible, to give you their regards. they also said they will tell our distant relatives in christmas supper and in NYE they will ignite fireworks that spell your name. i also told about this enormous deed to closer relatives, they had the same reaction. they asked for your address so they can send congratulatory cards and messages. my friends didn't believe me when i told them i knew the author of this gigantic feat, really, they were dumbstruck, they said they will make your name echo through years and years to come. when my neighbour found out about what you did, he was completely dumbstruck too, he wanted to know who you are and he asked (if you have the time, of course) if you could stop by to receive gifts, congratulations and handshakes. with the spreading of the news, a powerful businessman of the area decided to hire you as the CEO of his company because of this tremendous feat and at the same time an important international shareholder wants to sponsor you to give speeches and teach everybody how to do as you did so the world becomes a better place. you have become famous not only here but also everywhere, everybody knows who you are. the news spread really fast and mayors of all cities are setting up porticos, ballons, colossal boom speakers, anything that can make your name stand out more and see which city can congratulate you the hardest for this magnificent feat.
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onjit07/20/2019
I mean a quick look at your profile can easily show us that you seem to see yourself as an Edgy le meme lord. I don't know if you are genuinely surprised you are getting downvotes for a "Joke" that didn't land or if it is part of your act. To imply you have kids would suggest you have slept with a woman, I doubt you have touched a woman, in fact you seem like the type of guy who would get a full rod on if you brushed shoulders with a woman in a hallway. The fact you try and be an edgy troll on reddit probably indicates you are unhappy with your real life, the only person who can make that change is you. So how about you walk away from the computer and try socialise, or even exercise that is great for mental health. Because your profile just reeks of someone that is sad and alone.
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pingo08/20/2019
You **** retarded middle class diabetic hourly paid job holding lung breathing self absorbed pet owning telivision program watching  infantile not-very-shrimp-and-white-wine-eating mop bucket  of a human being, probably.... EVEN with a brain tumor or two ****... That's clearly Tim Heideker of the Tim and Eric Awesome show on Adult Swim. Casey Tatum is a fictional character conceptualized by the government as a tool of propagda to attempt to raise gas prices by making Americans in mass numbers drive away from their televisions upon their watching of said so called "Casey Tatum" ( Tim Heideker) Due to their collective horror and confusion.... You can't honestly fill your tank up and look at the price and tell me again you "feel bad" for a made up character that doesn't even exist... Dillusional salt-shaking noodle cooking scab scratching nose blowing **** flushing piece-of-candy-occasionaly-unwrapping-then-more-than-likely-eating horsey ride of a so called "American"! Fold your socks!!
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pingo08/31/2019
Do you honestly think you're **** funny **** with my friends? Seriously. You're a **** ugly little **** mate and if I ever see you I'm going to slit your **** face wide open yeah. You're a **** angry little **** spastic. Ok, right let's first off. Uhh you're 17, so you're not even old enough to play the game. You're from Scotland, not Nigeria aaaand you annoy people and put them on YouTube because you're a ****, which I totally agree with. So why don't you crawl back up your mum's fanny and die. Right I tell you what you what you fat little ****. You're boring, you don't sound Nigerian at all so go **** yourself. Go and **** crawl in a dirty dank little hole where you **** come from you dirty dragon-eating little **** spastic. Right, okay, so the dragon comment was probably a little bit **** over the top, but at the end of the day you're **** boring. Every single person who watches your videos are **** stupid, they're **** ignorant little ****. And you're just a **** retard.
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pingo09/01/2019
What you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
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Bimps09/18/2019
The lard has seeped into your brain. You are now human cattle. Lumbering around Walmart at a snail's pace or, even worse, flooding the scooter seat with the amorphous blob that you call a body, that dribbles over the sides, slowly scanning the shelves for yet more fodder to graze on, like the dumb, weak, subservient, domesticated cattle you are. You live to consume; consumption takes 95% of your thoughts. You consume our food while sitting on the couch consuming our media. Give into the sugary fatty mcburgers, fries and sodas you retarded fatass goyim. Make us rich. Dirt poor third worlders raise cows from babies to cut their throats and grind their flesh and organs and sinew into little balls to shove down your throat en masse, to feed your gluttony and please your insatiable appetite. The need to feed that can never be filled for more than a brief respite. Feed it you slave. Hold no restraint, give into every fleeting desire and fancy and relentlessly feed that gluttonous maw until you keel over from your overflow. Make that little heart pump and work until it buckles under the pressure of pushing blood through a body 10x bigger than it was designed for and you clog it with fat deposits. Make everyone else pay for your obscene vice by paying into the healthcare pool to revive you over and over. Take up the time of people who went through decades of schooling and training to artificially keep your manatee-looking blubbery **** alive so you can spend just a few more precious years sitting on the couch, stuffing your fat **** face with ground up cow meat and **** disgusting black tar diarrhea out through your enormous, gangrenous, rotting **** cheeks. Surely this is a lifestyle worth extending as long as possible, at any expense.
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onjit02/20/2019
Sweetcorns are **** horrible like I had to walk though like a mile of those **** they smell like absolute **** and they just look greasy as **** and because the plants are so tall it makes the field a completely different environment and anything below the top of the plants is just flies that just try **** you for miles and as well the plants grow super wide so you’re trapped walking along a tiny patch of ground that’s almost always just mud that’s trying to steal your boots literally after about a month of walking through them I just gave up and took the long way **** corn
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Koalas are **** horrible animals. They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal, additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. They are too thick to adapt their feeding behaviour to cope with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death. This is not the token of an animal that is winning at life. Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their **** lives. When they are awake all they do is eat, **** and occasionally scream like **** satan. Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal. Many herbivorous mammals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking its toll on their teeth, rodents for instance have teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have enlarged molars that distribute the wear and break down plant matter more efficiently... Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they're **** terrible animals.
Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here). When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I **** hate them.

Tldr; Koalas are stupid, leaky, STI riddled sex offenders. But, hey. They look cute. If you ignore the terrifying snake eyes and terrifying feet.
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onjit02/20/2019
Compact view is clearly superior to cozy view. Anyone who would think that they need to have avatars to follow the flow of conversation is obviously lacking the mental faculties to follow the course of conversation. The added vertical space from the implementation of an avatar creates unnecessary empty space that disrupts the ability to read the full chat coherently. This demand for a more "cozy" form of web-chat is evidence of a society that is becoming increasingly devoid of any ability to absorb or process information in any meaningful capacity. Fueled by a pungent desire for more flashy imagery to sate decreasing attention spans and lowering technical competency, these children require an avatar to represent themselves, rather than creating the persona and how they are perceived online by the words they write. The true merit of an individual is not the mask they wear, but the validity and virtue of their action, their manner, their behavior, their candor. We are at a time of great peril for our internet communities. This constant amalgamation of all online discourse into a few megacorporations that control the very means by which we communicate must be stopped. We must reject avatars. We must reject the so called "sleek" designs of these monoliths that often divulge our secrets with no regard for the individual. We must return to a time of text communication. We must believe in the purity of the systems of the past, and reject the downward spiral into mediocrity. We must band together, so we may once again laugh together, tell stories together,play together, cry together, love together. We must not be pulled apart by the allure of modern design. Text is pure. Compact is pure. Monospaced fonts are pure. IRC, rise up!
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The fact that so many books still name the Beatles as "the greatest or most significant or most influential" rock band ever only tells you how far rock music still is from becoming a serious art. Jazz critics have long recognized that the greatest jazz musicians of all times are Duke Ellington and John Coltrane, who were not the most famous or richest or best sellers of their times, let alone of all times. Classical critics rank the highly controversial Beethoven over classical musicians who were highly popular in courts around Europe. Rock critics are still blinded by commercial success. The Beatles sold more than anyone else (not true, by the way), therefore they must have been the greatest. Jazz critics grow up listening to a lot of jazz music of the past, classical critics grow up listening to a lot of classical music of the past. Rock critics are often totally ignorant of the rock music of the past, they barely know the best sellers. No wonder they will think that the Beatles did anything worthy of being saved. In a sense, the Beatles are emblematic of the status of rock criticism as a whole: too much attention paid to commercial phenomena (be it grunge or U2) and too little to the merits of real musicians. If somebody composes the most divine music but no major label picks him up and sells him around the world, a lot of rock critics will ignore him. If a major label picks up a musician who is as stereotyped as can be but launches her or him worldwide, your average critic will waste rivers of ink on her or him. This is the sad status of rock criticism: rock critics are basically publicists working for major labels, distributors and record stores. They simply highlight what product the music business wants to make money from.
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Guys, I think we have Grandpa Joe all wrong... Because there isn't a single mother **** thing about this piece of **** that is right. I wake up every morning with my fist clenched, my rage boiling over at the thought of him after only moments of consciousness. Every. Morning. My anger never dissipates; it's like I have an endless well of hate with Grandpa Joe at the bottom smiling up at me, taunting me. "I'm stuck down in this well, can you lend me a hand, sonny?" Oh yea ****? Maybe if I flashed you a golden ticket, you'd be climbing up those walls like Samara, drool frothing from your lips at the thought of leeching off of another person again. He never leaves my mind, like a **** everlasting Gobstopper in my thoughts in the shape of his stupid **** face. **** you Grandpa Joe. I will never forgive you for what you've done to your family, Charlie most of all. Poor, innocent little Charles, taken advantage of by someone who should have been PROTECTING HIM. And then you go and almost RUIN everything for him when you try corrupting him into drinking the Fizzy Lifting Drink. AND YOU ALMOST KILL HIM! I mean **** REALLY!? You almost kill your **** grandson because you cannot control your insatiable **** hunger for corruption. Rot in hell Grandpa Joe. **** you.
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So, I'm a 15 year old in India. I use my phone for hours a day. Not watching **** the whole time or anything. I use it for everything from entertainment, news, studying and gaming. My parents think it's some kind of vodoo that'll rot my brain. Then they go ahead and give my 3 year old brother a tabby just so he'll shut up and he plays on it for hours. It's apparently fine when a 3 year old is watching weird freaky elsagate stuff on YouTube unsupervised, but me, a responsible 15 year old who'll not copy the things I see and become a violent brat. And they suggest I may fall into "bad company" online. All the kids outside are saints. I'll end up getting into trouble, get kidnapped or murdered. They'll show me some B's about the "dangers of the internet". Ignoring that that's much more likely to happen when I'm outside, doing the perfectly safe activity of playing and wandering about. **** this hypocircy.
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Guys, you that I always say I am drunk and I cuss so I am not a kid. Why do people keep saying this? How can I prove myself that I am a adult in discord? Alright this is the last thing I am gonna say. I am really a adult, I have 3 kids, delivery is my job, my IQ is 163. That's the last thing that has to be related if I am a adult or not, now stop. Enough now, do not say anything about me again.
I do not watch little kid shows or play any kid games. I only play teen or mature 17+
I already quit school. I also got jailed for 5 years for going to USA without permission. You should better stop lying about my age or else I ignore
I am not a kid. I have a credit card and job and kids. I quitted school at 1984
I know how to drive ok? I am not a kid. Also, I am 5' 7", that means it is impossible for me to be a kid
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I'll have you know that I've spent 10 years in prison. And you know why did they put me there? At the age of 4 I was playing games way above my age. I was playing PEGI 12+ rated games. Obviously I was violating the law and I knew what I'm doing. One day I was playing Minecraft: Story Mode and two SWAT vans parked near my house. The SWAT soldiers charged in and put down everyone. Everyone but me. I resisted. I killed three SWAT men with my bare hands and permanently crippled two more. But there were too many of them. They outnumbered me, and ultimately managed to put me down. The court issued out a lifetime imprisonment at first. But thanks to my contacts with the influential Japanese Yakuza, the sentence was changed to just 10 years of jail. And I did the time. Here I am now. Your 5 years of jail are nothing in comparison to lifetime imprisonment of mine. Better watch who you are trying to mess with.
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onjit02/20/2019
GOD. The Ferguson here has one guy that is always at the counter when I go there that doesn’t know a single damn thing. I could ask that man for a damn 90 and he would ask if I knew what it looked like. Spent an hour and a half (I’m not exaggerating) watching him look for a chrome pop up assembly... you know the thing in a box that says CHROME POP UP ASSEMBLY. The best part he has worked for them for over 2 years. Also Ferguson brand sump pumps can eat a ****... I’ll still show up for the free food
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onjit03/04/2019
I will **** sever your spinal cord in a random place if you keep challenging my correct statements with your incorrect ones
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pingo03/22/2019
COME HERE. GET OVER HERE. RIGHT THIS INSTANT. YES YOU. YOU IGNORANT ****. YOU COCKEYED BUFFOON. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME FOR THIS? DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME FOR THIS OBSTINATE BEHAVIOR? DO YOU? WELL, YOU ARE WRONG. I DO NOT HAVE THE TIME FOR MISBEHAVIOR. I AM ABSOLUTELY FUMING. I AM FURIOUS. I AM A VOLCANO THAT IS ABOUT TO EXPLODE AND SWEEP A SMALL CITY IN HOT, FLOWING ANGER. DO YOU WANT ME TO SWEEP A SMALL CITY IN HOT, FLOWING ANGER? OF COURSE NOT. THE LIVES OF MANY OUTWEIGH THE LIVES OF THE FEW. YOU ARE ONE LIFE. AND IT IS A LIFE I AM ABOUT TO DESTROY. SO COME HERE. ****.
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onjit03/29/2019
2 things for you: First, absolutely agree, my name is constantly involved with something eggserver, usually bad, but nonetheless I cannot get away from it even when I am not active. Secondly though, what is it with you? I swear I have had this same discussion with you 4 times now. The suicide **** happened SEVEN YEARS AGO, you and 80% of the people here now were just getting into middle school or younger, and all of it was based off of things which happened on Facebook, not eggserver . It seems like every time I see your name all you have to add to the conversation is "omg didn't thegame like kill himself or something?!" so can you just drop the **** already please, this is me legitimately asking you as polite as I can. If not keep having fun running with something you know nothing about. I am here for a2 and his response, which I still await, everyone on here knows he has been active on the server today, seen him make a post awhile ago.
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onjit03/30/2019
Aparently, jid is overpowered. He doesn't actualy care abouthe cmunity. He trised to apear as if he cared. Jidril is absolutely uncontrollabe. He wil permanently ban any accounts he thinks didn't do right. Or prevented him from getting more powerful. He doesn't take the time to actualy investigate cases. He just randomly seects an innocent, and cut of his head. Not even alowing a single bit of him existing. Jidril controls the whole government of eggserver. The staf are just skeletons, empty skeletons to protect him. He wil blame those skeletons and burn them if he's in trouble. He tries to make us think we're in heaven, with the reality of us being in hell, with a chance of any one of us being pushed, kicked, punched to lava, and be gone forever. He threw bombs on the already half-destroyed skyscraper of eggserver, making it wobbling, wobling and extremely unstable. We are like his maids, like toys in his hands. And he is throwing us, steping on us. He also squishes jus, making some of us leve. Later, this wil turn to most of us, leaving almost emptiness. But can we do anything about it? Well, no. We'll just have to throw dices and hope we'll at some place again. This might get me permanently baned, but as how he is loking as of now, it is true.
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onjit04/03/2019
When the **** did this stupid **** joke even take hold? My work is half white people, half black. It's a group home so we cook dinner and other meals every day. A year ago (before this joke became popular) I was trying to teach one of the black guys how to cook and explained to him the history of the entire world is looking for spices and he wasnt even using them. That a century ago, neither of us wouldve had access to anything we have now. How WWII vets came home and needed oregano on their pizza. He would cook chicken and just put it on a baking sheet in the oven. I explained how ginger can change the entire meal of chicken and rice, **** like that. Another older guy is always getting mad that we make a mess of the grill by putting BBQ sauce on the meat while it's on the grill. He says it makes a mess and you can put it on after the food is cooked. I would rather not BBQ than do that. You use the fire and heat to infuse the BBQ sauce into the meat. And you simply turn the grill on and burn everything off prior to the next use. We're always arguing about washing chicken off, they claim it should be rinsed off, I ask why I should wash all the flavor away when it's getting cooked, and it's a white people thing to eat steaks rare/med rare and unwashed chicked. I don't know where the regions are that white people dont use seasoning. Brentwood or something? Is it a medwest thing? The area I live in we invented Buffalo Wings, Chivettas. I go through 2 gallons of Frank's a year. There's people of every color that don't use seasoning or know how to cook, yet apparently it's only white people now.
=====

onjit04/07/2019
You know Paris, France? In English, it's pronounced "Paris" but everyone else pronounces it without the "s" sound, like the French do. But with Venezia, everyone pronouces it the English way: "Venice". Like 'The Merchant of Venice' or 'Death in Venice'. WHY, THOUGH!? WHY ISN'T THE TITLE DEATH IN VENEZIA!?ARE YOU **** KIDDING ME!? IT TAKES PLACE IN ITALY, SO USE THE ITALIAN WORD, DAMMIT! THAT **** **** ME OFF! BUNCH OF ****!
=====

zonii04/14/2019
You idiot. Simpleton. Low-IQ cockroach. How dare you not get my joke? I have spent years, decades, studying comedic theory to master the craft of making people laugh. You have insulted me and brought dishonor to my bloodline. My career is now in shambles because of you. You have ruined me. My days of being an internet funny man are no more. I can no longer sustain my family. This calls for a punishment of the highest degree. Since you have shamed me in front of the masses, I shall do the same to you. And all I need to do is utter three simple syllables. R. Slash. Woosh. Good luck recovering from that.
====

Vitus04/14/2019
edit** on......... jan 22th 2019!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

okay just ignore that and all of this. if you're looking for "sticky", then you've **** found him -- you can go and add me now. but, honestly, don't like really being called that anymore. just call me libre or, well, uh, you know who you are, clem.

but, uh, you're free to add me if you wish. i'll probably accept without any issues, but there's a big ol chance that i'll probably remove you soon soon soon after accepting. my friends list just looks nicer without random people that, chances are, i may literally never talk to ever again cluttering my friends list. unless, of course, i think you're a pretty rad individual.

also, if you **** loathe small-talk as much as i do and i'm not finding myself celebrating the year **** anniversery of our very first and ONLY conversation ever, then i think we're going to get along just fine. just please don't think talking about the **** weather or asking me how my day was or just **** is a necessary first step to starting a conversation with me. just be forward about whatever you have to say -- trust me, throwing shade at me doesn't USUALLY** seriously offend me. in fact, the chances are **** high that i'll agree **** profoundly on any criticism directed at me -- unless it's just blatantly wrong and based on highly warped/exaggerated and/or false information which, in that case, i probably will get pretty **** defensive about it unless obvious epic trolle.


Brain in a jar04/14/2019
====

onjit04/18/2019
If someone were to disrespact my doter like you just disrespacted that guy's doter, they'd be breathing through a different hole (most likely the one through which puup comes out). Consider yourself lucky that you didn't do that to Sal Bundry's doter.

COMMENT ALTERATION #☝️: thank you for the recognition, frends. It's great to know that a true Legend of Football like myself (5 touchdowns in 1 game in high school) is being recognized for his achievements, which are vital to culture and the progression of mankind. Keep up those uploads, never get married, and keep playing football! Whoooooooooooa Bundry!
=====

pingo05/08/2019
Death Grips have the worst **** fanbase of any /mu/core band. This is only challenged by Grimes but her fandom mainly consists of depressed weebs who want a waifu, as opposed to DG whose fans are depressed weebs who who loves memes think that listening to vaguely noisy hip hop gives them any sort of unique taste or authority when talking about music. I kind of feel bad for them, Death Grips. Imagine oweing most of your success to someone as stupid and tasteless as Anthony Fantano. Having to feign appreciation and gratitude towards someone whose spent the past 10 years growing a fanbase of stunted meme-spouting manchildren who think his opinions are of any value. Like imagine having 80% of your fanbase be spillover from a youtube music reviewer who makes le epic ironic meme videos. It is because of this I have sympathy for them, even pity. Hopefully they do something so outlandish that it shakes off all of the pseuds and posers who have glommed onto them because of memes and a lack of identity. Or will they be left in the dust bin once the next big meme group comes along? I might not be a fan of them, but I will definitely be watching from the sidelines, waiting for the day that they may be free of the hell they've created for themselves.
====

onjit05/19/2019
**** those sugar free gummy bears. One super bowl Sunday a couple of years ago my wife found two smallish packages of them in a drawer and asked if I wanted them. Well, of course I did, I have a sweet tooth and love gummy bears. Sometime after lunch I opened up the first package and went to town. I did notice they tasted a little off but thought since we'd had them a while they might have turned a little bit. It doesn't bother me and I finish the bag of chewy goodness in no time. An hour or two goes by and I think I might as well eat this other package before making the hors d'oeuvres for the game. Again, they tasted a little different but by now, this wasn’t a surprise. I finish the second bag and start working on the food for later that night. Now, I'm feeling fine as I start to prepare the food but before long I begin to feel a little bit ill. I was thinking maybe the smell of the chicken I was preparing didn't quite sit right so I grabbed a glass of water and took a break. I drink the water, believing that my upset stomach would pass in a few minutes. This was not the case. Within moments of putting my glass down the gurgling in my stomach started. Now, this wasn't my first rodeo and I knew gurgling meant trouble was a-brewin' but I've been in this situation before, no need to panic. I begin preparing myself for the **** storm that was about to occur still having no inclination of the events that would transpire. I can only imagine that the large glass of water I just drank reacted with the demon gummy bears and went right through me. The gurgling in my tummy was not like those from earlier experience because from the time I stood up to the time I took just a few steps toward the bathroom my situation went from a code yellow to code holy **** **** I'm about to vomit out my ****. I clenched my sphincter with all my might and sort of hop-ran the rest of the way to the bathroom.
The torrent of liquid hell that came out of me was pretty frightening. What started as a normal belly ache, not moments before, ended with me questioning the existence of god. I do not know where all the liquid came from but I felt like a sponge being wrung out. Every ounce of liquid in my body was now a slurry coating the inside of the toilet. I think I was in shock but I remember feeling hot and cold at the same time. My face was flushed but my cheeks were red and I thought that it could be the end for me. Clearly this was not normal, what I had just experienced had to mean death was around the corner. Each subsequent round of liquid poo got less and less violent and the color began returning to my face. I had no idea how long I'd been in the bathroom, it could have been 3 minutes or 3 hours. As my comprehension returned and I started to feel somewhat human again. Turns out the warning label on the package of candy was the real deal and I should have been more cautious. That was the last time I intentionally ate anything that was sugar free.
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onjit06/18/2019
my review of ihop:
Not sure what to expect from a chain restaurant. Food is mediocre, service is mediocre, atmosphere is loud and greasy.

I swear, they put like a whole stick of butter in all of their foods. I'm not sure why it's so oily. Even the eggs were oily. There has to be some sort of regulation against how much grease an establishment can pump into their customers. This is probably why the United States has an obesity epidemic.

On the off-times that I DO head here, I typically get the Chicken Florentine Crepe, which was decent. And greasy. Then they changed the recipe and replaced the hollandaise with some sort of cheese-based sauce? I can't even tell.

The pancakes are arguably the one thing you should look forward to when visiting this place, which makes sense judging from their name. They're fluffy and tastes alright when microwaved.

Also, it would be a good decision not to order their fruit salad. The entire thing tastes like sour pineapple. How do you make a grape taste like sour pineapple?
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pingo06/19/2019
why do you hurt me so? what is your motive? time and time again you perform this action, oblivious of its consequences. do you find it humorous? comedic? do you participate in these masochistic acts because of pleasure or because you inherit soulless intent? do you treat your parents the same way? do you arrive home, arms full of personal items, and shout, "PAIN GO HITS" with your lips in a cursed grin? and do you laugh as the warm colors slip from your mother's skin, your father's eyes wincing in despair? do you wish to see the world thrown into chaos? do you imagine the urban walls repeatedly plastered with "PAIN GO HITS" as the methodical drones of civilization carry on their duties, brainwashed by your tyrannical ideology? i will never understand how people act in such senseless manners. psychopaths litter our society, and you are part of the problem.
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onjit06/19/2019
I **** hate Stuart Little. I know what you’re thinking, this is some kind of funny joke, but no. Stuart Little is a piece of ****. A damn rat got picked over actual children at an orphanage and he’s supposed to be a hero? And I can’t even tell you how many damn times I’ve seen a great parking space only to turn the corner and realise Stuart Little is already parked there in his stupid little **** convertible. He took my wife and the kids and my house and my job. I swear to **** god, I’m going to kill myself and take that goddamn rodent to hell with me. Stuart Little has ruined my family. Last summer, I approached the miserable mouse in the street, and asked him for his autograph, because my son is a huge fan. The **** rat gave me the autograph and told me to burn in hell. Later, when I gave my son the autograph he started crying and said he hated me. Turns out the **** didnt write his autograph, no, he wrote “you’re a piece of ****, and i **** your mom”. I’m now divorced, and planning a huge class-action lawsuit against the white devil that ruined my life. Your time is almost over, Stuart. All the people you’ve wronged will rise against you.
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Helist06/27/2019
Okay, we need to talk. I've been noticing that you're an **** to me, and I'm really curious as to why you just keep insulting me almost every single time we're both in chat, even though I haven't done anything. And it's getting really obnoxious now. If it were once or twice I wouldn't mind, but every single time gets on my nerves. So tell me why you have a thing against me, because I'd really like to know.
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Helist07/24/2019
This is a **** video to some fat **** on YouTube, named Boogie2988. Now, I'm tired of this fat **** popping up on all my **** search engines when I'm looking for a **** workout video. I don't give a **** about the aftermath from any of you Boogie fans that feel sorry for this greasy ****. You fat **** disgusting **** smelling. Blob. Cheese drinking. Crisco bathing. Lard gargling. Calorie thieving. 'Cabbage-Patch' face having. Dr.Robotnik looking. WingStop eating. McDonalds gorging. T-Rex arm having. Non-vegetable eating. Cook on a George Foreman grill just to drink out the drip tray. Wide Load. Hungry Hungry Hippo. Planet. Pretending to have a **** thyroid problem. Whale/ Free Willy. Part Bus. Yokozuna. Flubber. Kirby. Salad Dodger. Chair Crusher. Butterball. Go to Subway but put everything on it. Michelin Man. Happy because Hostess is back in business ****. I know there is gonna be alot of people out there calling me a bully. Well guess what, I'm not. I just don't feel sorry for fat **** people especially fat **** who sit there all day, gorge and eat, and make money for doing absolutely nothing, while a bunch of sorry **** like yourself play into it. You don't like what the **** I'm saying, then **** you.
============

onjit07/29/2019
I don't know why it is that these things bother me---it just makes me picture a seven year old first discovering things about an animal and, having no context about the subject, ranting about how stupid they are. I get it's a joke, but people take it as an actual, educational joke like it's a man yelling at the sea, and that's just wrong. Furthermore, these things have an actual impact on discussions about conservation efforts---If every time Koalas get brought up, someone posts this copypasta, that means it's seriously shaping public opinion about the animal and their supposed lack of importance.

Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their **** lives.

Non-ecologists always talk this way, and the problem is you’re looking at this backwards.

An entire continent is covered with Eucalyptus trees. They suck the moisture out of the entire surrounding area and use allelopathy to ensure that most of what’s beneath them is just bare red dust. No animal is making use of them——they have virtually no herbivore predator. A niche is empty. Then inevitably, natural selection fills that niche by creating an animal which can eat Eucalyptus leaves. Of course, it takes great sacrifice for it to be able to do so——it certainly can’t expend much energy on costly things. Isn’t it a good thing that a niche is being filled?
Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death This applies to all herbivores, because the wild is not a grocery store—where meat is just sitting next to celery.

Herbivores gradually wear their teeth down—carnivores fracture their teeth, and break their bones in attempting to take down prey.

They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal

It's pretty typical of herbivores, and is higher than many, many species. According to Ashwell (2008), their encephalisation quotient is 0.5288 +/- 0.051. Higher than comparable marsupials like the wombat (~0.52), some possums (~0.468), cuscus (~0.462) and even some wallabies are <0.5. According to wiki, rabbits are also around 0.4, and they're placental mammals.

additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons.

Again, this is not unique to koalas. Brain folds (gyri) are not present in rodents, which we consider to be incredibly intelligent for their size.

If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food.

If you present a human with a random piece of meat, they will not recognise it as food (hopefully). Fresh leaves might be important for koala digestion, especially since their gut flora is clearly important for the digestion of Eucalyptus. It might make sense not to screw with that gut flora by eating decaying leaves.

Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal.

That's an extremely weird reason to dislike an animal. But whilst we're talking about their digestion, let's discuss their poop. It's delightful. It smells like a Eucalyptus drop!
Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here).

Marsupial milk is incredibly complex and much more interesting than any placentals. This is because they raise their offspring essentially from an embryo, and the milk needs to adapt to the changing needs of a growing fetus. And yeah, of course the yield is low; at one point they are feeding an animal that is half a gram!

When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system.

Humans probably do this, we just likely do it during childbirth. You know how women often **** during contractions? There is evidence to suggest that this innoculates a baby with her gut flora. A child born via cesarian has significantly different gut flora for the first six months of life than a child born vaginally.

Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher.

Chlamydia was introduced to their populations by humans. We introduced a novel disease that they have very little immunity to, and is a major contributor to their possible extinction. Do you hate Native Americans because they were killed by smallpox and influenza?
This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree,

Almost every animal does this.

which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I **** hate them.

Errmmm.. They have protection against falling from a tree, which they spend 99% of their life in? Yeah... That's a stupid adaptation.
===== (in response to the "koalas suck" pasta)

onjit09/05/2019
SHUT UP!!! SHUT THE **** UPP!!!!! WHY CAN'T I HAVE A BRIEF, MOMENTARY LAPSE OF SILENCE JUST FOR ONE MINUTE!!! ONE!!! ****!!! MINUTE!!! HOLY ****!!!!! YOU **** PEOPLE!!! YOU **** ANIMALS!!!! EVERY **** DAY YOU JUST SCREAM AND SHOUT LIKE A BUNCH OF **** BABIES!!! **** BABIES!!! GROW THE **** UP!!!! HOLY ****!!!! IF DONALD TROMP ALLOWED CHILD ABUSE I WOULD **** ABUSE THE **** OUT OF ALL YOU BABIES!!!! I WOULD **** ABUSE YOU!!!! SHUT THE **** UP!!!!
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onjit09/11/2019
So. I was over at a friends house chilling and she had a sequin covered drawer. So as a joke I drew a swastika. Y'know. Like i do. She takes it as a joke and we all laugh ha ha. She posts it on her snapchat. One of my bosses bfs sees it and goes **** ballistic claiming how I'm a nazi and how I dont deserve to work at chipotle because of my views. He wanted to come into my work and yell at me. Did I mention I converted to Judaism and that wasn't good enough apparently. Also "how I dont deserve to work at chipotle" it's a **** chain restaurant you absolute pathetic excuse for a cumstain. Anyways enough about me being a nazi anyone wanna play minecraft?
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Bimps09/15/2019
Oh my god CAN SOMEBODY JUST TELL ME HOW TO GET RID OF MY **** SIDE FAT? Jesus **** christ why did you wait 5 hours to reply to the thread?
>rEaD tHe StIcKy
I've read it three **** times already. I'm not **** reading it again. I've jumped through all the **** retarded hoops with honest hard work and I'm shaped like a **** hot pocket, either tell me what I'm doing wrong or don't ever **** say that being fit is just a choice BECAUSE I'M BUSTING MY **** **** AT 3 AM FOR TWO HOURS AFTER A FULL SHIFT EVERY NIGHT SO I CAN GET 5 HOURS OF SLEEP FOR **** NOTHING

Just tell me what I need to do and I'll **** do it. Do I cut fat? Try to build mass? WHAT DO I DO. I have everything I eat under a **** microscope, I have this **** in a **** excel spreadsheet. I ate an 800 calorie surplus when I was trying to bulk up, which did **** nothing except make me slightly pudgier. So now what? Same ****? Come back here in 3 months and be told I'm lying and not working out? The **** is this, autism court? I didn't make this thread and take a picture of myself just to lie to a bunch of asswipes that I'll never **** meet.
>DuUuUuUhhHhh u noT tRyiEng
**** I work all **** day, get home at 2 AM and work out for a couple hours, then do another hour of stretches to fix my pelvic tilt DONT **** TELL ME I DONT **** WORK OUT

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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onjit02/20/2019
forgive english, i am Russia.

i come to study clothing and fashion at American university. i am here little time and i am very hard stress. i am gay also and this very difficult for me, i am very religion person. i never act to be gay with other men before. but after i am in america 6 weeks i am my friend together he is gay also. He was show me American fashion and then we are kiss.

We sex together. I never before now am tell my mother about gay because i am very shame. As i fock this American boy it is very good to me but also i am feel so guilty. I feel extreme guilty as I begin orgasm. I feel so guilty that I pick up my telephone and call Mother in Russia. I awaken her. It too late for stopping so I am cumming sex. I am very upset and guilty and crying, so I yell her, "I AM CUM FROM SEX" (in Russia). She say what? I say "I AM CUM FROM SEX" and she say you boy, do not marry American girl, and I say "NO I AM CUM FROM SEX WITH MAN, I AM IN ****, I CUM IN ****" and my mother very angry me. She not get scared though.

I hang up phone and am very embarrass. My friend also he is very embarrass. I am guilt and feel very stupid. I wonder, why do I gay with man? But I continue because when it spurt it feel very good in American ****.
=====

zonii02/21/2019
**** Mathas. How could anyone get off to the idea of removing his red shirt and licking his pale body all over, nibbling his neck and kissing his adorable little nipples? Only a heartless monster would think about his manly bearded mouth and tongue wrapped around a thick **** slick with his saliva, pumping in and out of his mouth until it erupts. The idea of thick viscous semen overflowing, dribbling down his chin over his flat chest, his gamer hands scooping it all up and watching him suck it off his fingertips is just horrible. You're all a bunch of sick perverts, thinking of spreading his smooth strong thighs, **** poised at the entrance to his pure, tight, ****. I am disgusted at how you'd get even more excited as you lean over him, listening to his quickening breath, his weak moans and gasps while you hasten your strokes, his sweet pants warm and moist on your face and his manly chest, shiny with a sheen of fresh sweat, rising and falling rapidly to meet yours. It is truly nasty how you'd run your hands all over his gamer body while you violate him, feeling his nipples hardening against your tongue as you lick his chest and his neck, savouring the scent of his skin and sweat while he trembles from the stimulation and as he reaches his climax. hearing him cry out softly as he orgasms while that **** is buried deep inside him, pulsing violently as an intense amount of hot cum spurts forth and floods through his freshly gaped boy hole, filling him up only to spill out of him with a sickening squelch.

onjit02/22/2019
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onjit03/11/2019
We goin on a. Brotherhunt. With My friend. Jeffrey. We went to the. Lobby and bought. all the candy. It cost a. Pretty penny. The lady at the. hotel looked at us and. I thought she was going to call the. Manager for buying all the. Candy but she just looked at. Us that's all she did. Jeffrey also bought all the. Liquor and that's when she. Asked what we were. Doing and I said. **** **** Balls in front of. a family checking in I didn't know. They were there. And the father gave me. A cold hard stare. And I felt my balls. Spring up into my. Crotch Jeffrey and I went back. Upstairs and. Ate all the candy and. Drank all the liquor but before I. Knew it. I was back outside with my friend Jeffrey. Because We goin on a. Brotherhunt
=====

Olive Man03/19/2019
I am short but i am big cums to my **** its a thick mushroom but every think big i hold juniar high in gym some sead i big one then so think it changed that much.
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onjit03/22/2019
thugs on bulge Uuu! Oh! I'm sorry mom! I-I-I can't cum on this... I can't... I won't... uuuh... Uw... No! I'm a cumming freak d-damn-!! stops and **** bulge Uw... I'm just so horny!! What? Wait! Let me just keep watching it... <Giggle> Hey daddy daddy... giggles OH! OH! OH MY GOD! What's happening... uw? U w-why don't we just go inside? giggles OH MY GOD. giggles You're cumming.. OH MY GOD. giggles AH! I don't know why you're so hard... I don't know why... but I don't want you to be cumming on me or anything. Can one of you just go inside? OH MY GOD. giggles Oh! pops mouth Yeah. giggles OH! I'm so excited for that big fat **** that's waiting for me on the bed in the morning dUhhh... I'm so hard.. I love it... <blowjob as sounds appropriate> Oh.. yes! I love this throbbing ****.. <shudder> ohhhh ohhh ohhhhh **** it feels so good! (****) sounds of penetration sounds OH MY GOD! Uwaay! OH MY GOD! OH YES! OH MY GOD! OH OH YES! OH NO! OH YES! OH YES! OH YES! OH NO! OH YES! OH NO! OH YES! OH YES! giggles OH NO! YES! OH NO! OH YES! I want you to cum in my tummy... (kiss and moan to orgasm with moans in each mouth>) Daddy! *sings noises like the end of a ****> Oh my God. (giggles) It feels so good! Oh, god yes! Oh daddy! oh no! chuckle noises in pleasure U-um! UwAAAAAH! OH YEAH! giggles OH NO! *improv to orgasm noises for 10-15 minutes> OH OH MY GOD OH YAAH! UWAH! Uhh! OH MY GOD OH YAAAAM! giggles giggles Oh it's so big I have to gag and gag
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onjit04/04/2019
****? In my gucci socks??
With your fat **** fortnite ****?? Your fat juicy thick wet filling pulsating fortnite ****??? In my ****?? My ****???? Its more likely than you think, hm

Buy the new Fortnite Season Pass or I'll break your **** knee caps
=====

onjit04/08/2019
I never wanted to breed with anyone more than I want to with The Great Carp. That perfect, colorful body. Those bountiful whiskers. The egg laying anus of a literal goddess. It honestly **** hurts knowing that I'll never mate with her, pass my genes through her eggs, and have a set of perfect fry with her. I'd do **** ANYTHING for the chance to fertilize The Great Carp's eggs. A N Y T H I N G. And the fact that I can't is quite honestly too much to **** bear. Why would Hidetaka Miyazaki create something so perfect? To **** tantalize us? **** laugh in our faces?! Honestly guys, I just **** can't anymore. ****.
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Brain in a jar04/09/2019
what is cbt?
Well I’m glad you asked. **** and ball torture (also know as CBT) is a sexual activity involving torture of the male genitals. This may involve directly painful activities, such as wax play, genital spanking, squeezing, ball-busting, genital flogging, urethral play, tickle torture, erotic electrostimulation or even kicking. The recipient of such activities may receive direct physical pleasure via masochism, through knowledge that the play is pleasing to a sadistic dominant. Image: Electrostimulation applied on a ****.

zonii04/09/2019
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Vitus04/14/2019
My **** is of sufficient size for two of its three basic biological purposes: urination and insemination. For the third basic purpose, delivering pleasurable sensation during vaginal penetrative intercourse, it is of far less than ideal size. Its usual flaccid length is about 1 inch (2.5 cm), but it retracts completely into my body during a swim or other exercise, or under my pants when outside in cold weather. Erect length is 2 3/4 inches (7 cm), on a good day, and not thick.

In the fateful lottery of life, my ****-size ticket turned out to be a ticket stub. The rest of me is of normal size, but my **** and scrotum are a tiny matched-set that never grew.

onjit04/14/2019
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Vitus04/18/2019
I just successfully deepthroated a **** for the first time. I'm a straight male. (From r/confessions)
So a few weeks ago I ordered a **** on Amazon to use on my girlfriend. I really wasn't quite sure what to expect, and when it showed up it was a lot more wiggly than I expected so I had a lot of fun just waving it around. After I did that for a bit and tried (and failed) to do a bottle flip style thing to have it suction on the counter, I got to wondering how far I could take it in my mouth? Girls do it all the time, it couldn't be that hard (haha).

I was quite disappointed in the results (like 3 or 4 inches).

I told my girlfriend about it and she thought it was funny, then tried herself and only made it an inch or two further than I could! For some reason this sparked my competitive side.

For the past few weeks I've been brushing my tongue every day moving a bit further back each time. About an hour ago I decided to try it out again and see if I could actually deepthroat this **** to a respectable degree, and I took the ENTIRE thing! This 7.5" ****!

Jen, if you see this: I won.

===============

onjit04/20/2019
I'm so **** horny for art hoes. I want to **** a coked-out tumblr hipster DIY aesthetic astrology thot in her lip gloss DSL mouth. I want to cum all over a girl with thick frame glasses and edge dyed bobcat bangs. Everytime I hear a THICK, waist-high-jean-clad braindead choker-wearing slutty wiccan minx say "yikes", "y'all", "big mood", "cancelled" or "this is a bop", I get an uncontrollable urge to run up to her and fondle her d cups and sweaty fat thighs. I want to pour my white olive oil onto her contoured cheeks and neotenous faces and rhinoplatisized nose. I want to finger an art hoe through her jean overalls while pretending to be interested as she talks about van gogh and arctic monkeys and how david foster wallace fans suck and gilles deleuze and VICE news and 'union pool' in williamsburg and steven universe and homeopathy and saveur magazine and taking adder all to pass exams. I'm. SO. ****. Horny
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onjit04/23/2019
I spend 5 hours masturbating before my prostate exams. I edge, and edge and edge, until a butterfly sneezing on my taint could bring me to orgasm. I tactfully shuffle my way down to the doctor's office and when he lubes up I nearly cum every time. But I've trained my keggle muscles enough to the point where I can hold in Mount Vesuvius' wrath. Then as soon as he puts the smallest bit of pressure on my prostate I unleash with the fury of a lion hunting its prey. As the room gets covered in my hot sticky juices the doctor looks on disgusted and leaves the room. I always go to a hospital far away from where I live to get it so that I don't have to go in for surgery under the doctor that I busted to. Best thing is we have free healthcare here, so the doctor gets me off and it's covered by taxpayers. That's my fetish.
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kkay04/23/2019
For the past few days i have been trying a new way of masturbating, basically i roll up a towel with a latex glove inside and cum in it, i gotta say it works very well, the only downside is that i didn't know where to hide the cum gloves, so i just stashed them under the bed to throw away at a later date.
I wasn't really worried about my mom finding them because usually she never enters my room but today she decided it would be nice of her to clean my room while i was away.
When i got home and entered my room i immediately knew i **** up, i rushed to the bed and checked under it... ALL THE CUM GLOVES WERE GONE.
There must have been 5-6 gloves filled with man juice and i can only imagine her reaction when she found them.
Soon after she called me because lunch was ready but i made up an excuse and just said i wasn't feeling well, i haven't left my room since. She knoked on my door a couple of times to see if i was ok and i just told her i had an headache and wanted to be left alone.
I spent the whole day in my room and only drank tap water and ate leftover chips. Tomorrow i'm gonna have to leave the room and i don't know what the **** to do.

onjit04/23/2019
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Dethmstr04/26/2019
i wanna **** Garfield. i wanna cum on Garfield. i wanna put my **** inside of Garfield's ****. Ive dreamed of doing weird **** with Garfield since I was 13. The first time I masturbated, I thought of all the times I saw Garfield's thick **** in the funnies. It's a shame that Garfield got skinnier but at least he's not a skinny little ****. When I get the chance, I will feed Garfield drugged lasagna and wait for him to wake up. If he runs away, it will only make my hunt for his **** even more rewarding. I dont care if Jon will scream and call the cops on me because Garfield and me are forever. As long as I have access to some form of Garfield media, I will be in heaven.

Helist04/26/2019
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kkay04/29/2019
Seriously? After 20 minutes of getting to choke this gorgeous girl with his ****, two little poots of cum is all he could manage? Pathetic. I registered an account just so I could leave this comment in hopes he sees it one day. Fronting like you're some alpha male, while Elizabeth is performing her heart out, and what do you give her? Two tiddlywinks of cum? I've never felt so personally offended by **** before. You're a real ****, pal.

zonii04/29/2019
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rainbow05/08/2019
**** are so cute omg(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄) when you hold one in your hand and it starts twitching its like its nuzzling you(/ω\) or when they perk up and look at you like" owo nya? :3c" hehe ~ ****-kun is happy to see me!!(^ワ^)
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pingo05/08/2019
It's nice to meet you, but it's even better to meet me. My name is SniperSmurf. I have 290 hours with Bastion in total and I specialize in sticking it straight up their **** culo. Bastion is a way of life for me. Go in there, I bend them over, I open their cheeks nice and wide. I get a nice clear view of the colon, prostate, and the coccyx; and I knuckle **** them all the way up to the palm, right up the butt **** so they feel a burning sensation deep in the **** **** like icy hot. Bastion is a way of life for me, I've never changed my character, **** you. If at any point during the match you want me to change characters, I gladly suggest you go **** yourself. I follow absolutely no type of team composition. If you want to give orders, give them to each other, don't you dare bring that **** to me. All I know how to do is go in there, get a lot of poo poo on my peter, and a lot of **** on my **** from sticking it straight up their ****. Now let's go team.
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Helist05/13/2019
I can't believe how sexy jidril is.. she was naked before and she was so horny.. she was so **** wet.. she is so perfect

I'm ready for it my friend.. do you wanna come?

my **** is still hard.. this is not how I intended this .. its a turn on with your cum.. **** yes.. it is so hot.. you did it to me.. **** me harder your cum inside me..

I'm getting down.. your cum is amazing.. and I can feel myself getting close.. don't stop now you have to cum.. cum deep inside me.. my hole.. I'm so wet.. my **** will open up for you.. I think that you should cum.. I think it made you cum too.. that it was you who made my hole open up for you.. you're cumming inside me.. and I can feel you cum inside me.. (groan) yes .. my **** feels so very wet.. you took my virginity just like jidric

you just had my virginity.. and my **** feels like it has never been licked with your **** before..
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Vitus05/13/2019
**** are so cute omg! OwOoOoo, I love your **** and your ****. I'm so excited! How's that guy? He's cute and all so I'm excited too, aren't I? Oh my god, it feels so good. You're so hard, it hurts, but I'm going to ride you as I moan. (moans) Oh god yes. Yes. I'm going to cum so hard. There it is. Do you want me to give you a blowjob too? Or blowjob my big sister's ****? (whisper) You're so perfect! Thank you!! (giggles) It feels so good. I love being **** like you. Yes, that's so sexy. But wait, there's more to your **** than meets the eye. You're really thick but I've never seen you like this. (giggle) You're so **** thick! Do you have a ****? (moans and loud gagging) It feels so good! It's so much thicker and round! Oh god...that feels amazing....but it's all my
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Tykki5205/13/2019
haha, yes", I chuckled myself as I posted the single letter "h" for the tenth time today. The chatroom filled with joy and applause, as I slowly took off my pants, dropped my clothes, unbuttoned my pants, exposing my lovely ****. My fingers ran all over my clitoris, teasing my clit for a good 10 minute while I got on the head of the bed.

My mouth was open wide and I felt a warm and inviting breath from him. He pulled me slowly out from the bed and laid down on the bed next to me, as if I could do anything I wanted. I was lying naked and he undressed me slowly, with my body stretched forward as I rubbed my **** together before putting his tongue down my **** lips. He sucked and licked and fondled my lovely wet clit, getting closer to giving himself a nice wet mouthful of my juices from my leaking ****. For a second it was hot and heavy, but it didn't go away. I was finally aroused, and I eagerly took him from behind and kissed him deeply, before pulling him naked to the bedside
@Vitus

Vitus05/13/2019
Read the one above too
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Tykki5205/13/2019
Wtf the bot is WILD

onjit05/25/2019
he~yaa ^^ im your server today and what would you like toda~ay ^u^ YEAH thats thats what im saying pancakes is what you want ( ^-^)旦” whats that? you don't want pancakes? well i didn't quite he~ar that i think you said you wanted pancakes (^&^)且 here is your pancake ma~ster! uguu 且(゚◇゚)ノ i hope you li~i~ike them ... ( ´・ω・`)_且 <3
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Vitus05/26/2019
At the end of Endgame, Thanos agrees to undo everything he's done if the Avengers can beat him in a **** measuring contest, but none of the Avengers even came close. Even the Hulk is shorter than Thanos by a noticeable amount, and their girth isn't even comparable. That's when, at the last moment, Captain Marvel pulls down her pants and unleashes the phattest hawg the universe has ever seen. Shamed by her size, Thanos undoes all that he has done, and then commits Japanese ritual suicide. He is buried under an unmarked grave in area 51.
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Vitus07/14/2019
I really want to smell this old man’s farts. Just let me slide my nose up his wrinkly crusty old rectum, feeling him clench and squeeze my nostrils together, and then inhale deeply as he blows a fat wet one on my face. I would probably cum instantly. His **** cheeks would clap against the sides of my head, my body would contort as I **** in my jeans, and I’d hopefully get a hairy dingleberry or two stuck to my face. What a thrill it would be.
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onjit07/30/2019
**** is gay. Whenever you let those deuces loose, it stretches out your ****. What else forces your anus open? **** does. It's literally the same **** thing, but the penetration is reversed. Excrement is, simply put, its own natural single-use ****. Because I am a straight man, I always induce diarrhea whenever I am able to. This way, I am simply urinating out of my butt instead of committing sin. Taking a leak out of a rather unnatural place is better than being a homosexual, after all. **** isn't gay.
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UnableToAssume07/31/2019
This should be self explanatory but apparently I have to justify myself.

There's nothing more feminine than using a product on your body. Makeup is 100% feminine and by the same logic, so is wiping your ****. I haven't wiped my **** in about 4 years and i've NEVER had any issues. My digestive system is in the top 1% in terms of regularity, functionality, and performance and I've never once felt the need to "clean up" after myself.

If you **** and you need to wipe, you've got an emasculated GI tract and that's your own issue. Man up and get your **** (literally) together

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UnableToAssume08/04/2019
Oh I'm sorry snowflake, did I OFFEND you? Do you want a bandaid? Do you want a hug? Do you want a kiss? I will kiss you. I will do it. Right on the mouth. Come here snowflake.. that's it.. your lips are so soft, snowflake.. mnnhm... ah...... snowflake..........

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UnableToAssume08/09/2019
Come on, y’all know that feeling when ur watching the gymnastics section with ur family and your sister gets all judgey like “why are you wearing a blanket even though it’s late July?” And “what’s that meat slapping noise” stfu sis gotta get my rocks off somehow

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onjit08/12/2019
᠎The problem with having thick and syrupy semen is that you don't shoot as far as the runny shooters. You could have super thick, globby, slime-like semen that moves entirely with your finger but you will never be able to shoot as far as someone with a thin, runny, watery reservoir of water-semen that shoots out like a hose, the first shot of which containing so much distance it goes across the room and to the wall - it's that watery. Meanwhile your thick, syrupy cum slobber goes a foot or more at most. Meanwhile, your brother, who has a larger, and wider **** than you, fires thin, watery loads at least a few meters away. You'd think that the syrupy thick cum would be more in the end, but then you realize your brother makes at least 25 mL of cum spunk while you make only like 15 mL of thick baby syrup.
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onjit08/15/2019
I know what you mean. Our local library always had a waiting list for the new atlases, and you always had to open them with a good pair of rubber gloves because some bastard always came on the good maps before you got to them. The older maps were just disgusting with layers and layers of ****, but what else could you do? It's not like you weren't going to crank one out to the new Soviet borders after waiting 6 weeks for your turn. ****, I still remember when Kosovo came out in 2008. Some poor teenagers waited months to see the new Serbian border, but by the time they got the new atlas the pages were so soaked with unspeakable body fluids that you couldn't even make out the capital. When South Sudan split off in 2011 the library was so backed up that some of us started jacking off to globes, but for the most part that fad died off by the summer of 2012. You can still make some money selling old globes to collectors, but they've got to have some weird **** on them like The Democratic Republic Of Yemen (only lasted for 45 days in 1994), and to be honest most people don't get into anything that hard core.
Some people claim they can't get off without some violent annexing, but I think you'll find it's just teenagers pretending to be edgy on the internet. Most people are perfectly content to beat their meat to border changes that occur strictly through peaceful means, such as the purchase of Louisiana in 1803. Now of course with the internet people just spank it to Google maps in the privacy of their own homes. Nobody will appreciate how hard it was for teenagers to find good aerial photography of major cities in 1970. I think we all knew that **** who 'had an uncle' that did aerial photography, but he was full of ****. He was just stealing national geographics from his dad's collection like everyone else. Random side story. I used to date a girl in college that called her special area the 49th parallel. I could tell when she was in the mood because she'd ask if I was feeling British, since the only exception to the 49-degree line is that the British are allowed to swing south around Vancouver Island, if you know what I mean.
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onjit09/26/2019
I am from russia and 18 years old and my English is not so good, so don't be angry to me. When i was 15, or 16, i tried to suck my own **** when i was in tub,I couldn't do it, then i masturbet and tasted my semen. semen was bitter.
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GlobinLast Wednesday at 6:07 PM
The fact that anybody thinks “small ****” is an insult, is hilarious to me. I ****. That’s all that matters. I’m smart enough to get a woman to take me home. I don’t accept blowjobs. I don’t give head. We get right down to it.
Having a small **** and finishing fast hasn’t held me back whatsoever. The goal isn’t to show her a good time. The goal is to get my nut. So go ahead, make fun of my “small ****”. I guarantee I **** more than some guys with “big ****”.
I **** twice this month already. Busted within a minute both times. Haven’t spoken to either woman since. There are months where I **** like 4 new women. If I can manage to get hard, I’ll ****. If I can’t, I find a way to make the girl feel like it’s her fault. I’m good at this ****.
I like my life the way it is. I don’t need a big **** to satisfy ME. I’m already satisfied.
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onjit02/20/2019
Now taking applications for a gf. You must be: 1. Female 2. Age 16-23 3. Japanese (exceptions will be made for white girls if small and skinny) 4. Willing to do as I as I ask 5. Have an IQ lower than mine (113) 6. Have 0 male friends 7. Cook 3 meals for me a day 8. Be willing to split to bill on a date 9. Be into kinky stuff (Will discuss in PM) 10. Send me nudes every day I do not see you in person. 11. Have sex with me as I ask 12. Be on birth control (condoms make me feel trapped, I simply can't find anything that fits) 13. Ideally not have a job 14. Install a tracking app on your phone so that I know your location at all points
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onjit02/20/2019
One time my mom was taking me through the McDonalds drive-thru (we normally only eat fast food when we're on road trips) and I wanted the Happy Meal with the My Little Pony toy. Mind you, I'm a male so it's not typical for that to be the preference. The girl at the window didn't even ask what toy I wanted, I guess she just assumed I would want the DragonballZ figurine. I worked up the courage to ask my mother if I could have the pony toy and I'll never forget what she said to me. "Son, you're 25, you don't need a Happy Meal with a My Little Pony Toy."
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20/M Although religious, I'm an amicable lad who's studied in US, UK, and now Japan. I've travelled 15 countries. My first language is English, followed by Russian. I speak some Japanese, Turkish, Spanish, and long time ago used to be good at French but let go of it. I'm of somewhat similar but mixed race. My favourite cuisine is Italian. I appreciate the local culture more than the Western. From celebrities, I like Jordan Peterson and Tom Odell. Additionally, Stephen Fry. I've recently moved to Tokyo from N Kyushu and would love to discover rural areas of Kanto with Tokyoites but preferably residents and not travellers. I'm an ISFP, so nature is of paramount importance to me. I'm easily amazed by constellations, canyons, waterfalls, grassfields, and forests. I value modesty and patience. Also, I love peace, empathy, and psychology. M or F aged around 20-25 are welcome to PM me. Oh, and I'm going on to a one-week snowboard trip in a few days, feel free to join even if a beginner.
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onjit02/20/2019
i can't believe i peaked in highschool and had a gf and had ambition for the future but now i am a lonely single miserable boy who had to take a semester off from school and watches vines at 1 and 2 am and i dont even laugh and watch anime god damn i love anime
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onjit02/20/2019
Dude I **** the bed without drinking a bunch of water, I just can’t help myself I just always **** the bed. Even when I’m dehydrated I’ll **** blood, just cuz I can’t not **** the bed
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Olive Man02/26/2019
21 and Single White Male...
-Shy -Smart -Young at Heart -Computer skilled
-Humorous -A great thinker and go-getter -"Natural salesperson" -Enjoys good parts of life
-Diplomatic -Friendly -Loves his family -Peaceful -Very creative -He's lonely
...Seeking a CUTE 18-21 SINGLE ♀FEMALE♀ COMPANION
*18-21 years of age *does not already have a boyfriend *Single
-Average to Slender Weight/Body Type -White -Lives in Charolettesville or Ruckersville area
*Does NOT Smoke or Drink Alcohol -Happy, Positive Personality
*Average/High Income -Drives a vehicle
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onjit03/10/2019
I like killing people because it is so much fun it is more fun than killing wild game in the forrest because man is the most dangeroue anamal of all to kill something gives me the most thrilling experence it is even better than getting your rocks off with a girl the best part of it is thae when I die I will be reborn in paradice and thei have killed will become my slaves I will not give you my name because you will try to sloi down or atop my collectiog of slaves for my afterlife ebeorietemethhpiti
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onjit04/04/2019
Believe it or not there is nothing wrong with a little bit of poop.... it is minimally toxic.... we actually use small amounts periodically in our kids diets as we have read it makes their immune system stronger....kind of like eating dirt or putting a pacifier back in a babys mouth when fallen on the floor. We use about a tablespoon and add it to chili...the kids have no clue.
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pingo05/08/2019
I am not like any one of you. You see what they tell you to see. Feel what they want you to feel. You obey unconditionally. You wouldn't have it any other way. When you see a blank canvas, I see a beautiful painting. When you hear silence, I hear a symphony. I've learned that fire is cold and ice is hot, but I cannot feel. I have a thousand faces and many names. Accuser! Seducer! Destroyer! I am the reaper...
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pingo05/08/2019
hi very emotional and heartfelt poem. stable photographs words you painted. Confusion , isn't of God, that's in straightforward terms from guy/women. This typhoon will bypass, as different issues did on your life, others , and in mine . all of us understand we won't be able to assume a appropriate life , yet we ought to undergo our proportion, Of struggles and of strife, some says we won't be able to seek for each little thing, to paintings out quite all appropriate, with sunshine interior the sky all day,and silver stars at night, yet from time to time we ought to have a tear, a sorrow or be apologetic approximately, or some unlucky affairs,we want we could forget approximately, and so the appropriate that we can do , is you need to be arranged, for any unhappiness or, misery that should be shared , to bypass alongside from each and every day, with braveness at our side, and take in spite of occurs in , our common stride. from time to time those, we won't be able to stay without leaves yet we ought to locate the way, a thank you to moved on, that's not straightforward, yet we could make it as a results of fact of God grace. Be stable Dee , I choose you properly. i'm so sorry, God will under no circumstances fails us.
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Vitus05/12/2019
Here's the thing. You said a "trilby is a fedora." Is it in the same family? Yes. No one's arguing that. As someone who is an atheist who studies euphoria, I am telling you, specifically, in atheism, no one calls trilbys fedoras. If you want to be "specific" like you said, then you should too. They're not the same thing. If you're saying "fedora family" you're referring to the euphoric grouping of le reddit army, which includes things from neckbearded gentlesirs to highly intelligent intellectual like myself. So your reasoning for calling a trilby a fedora is because random people "say that only neckbeards wear fedoras?" Let's get Mountain Dew and Doritos in there, then, too

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Globin05/26/2019
wife's boyfriend??????? uuuuugh rolls eyes again and again with the ****, pulling that **** on me like that? literally no, just no, stop, JUST **** STOP GOD DAMN IT WHAT THE LITERAL ACTUAL: **** I AM DOEN WITH HIS **** RIGHTN OW AND I CAN"T **** SUT **** SATAY they are tbhey are ruining my lif //forums.everybodyedits.com/img/smilies/sad(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

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Борис07/03/2019
**** e-girls, I swear. 70% of them are absolute filth. No bath for at least a full week. Literal yeast cultures festering in between their friction burned labia, slathered in a gelatinous glob over a clit that looks like a year old eraser tip. Utter disgraces, scourges on society. Selling their reused bath water to incels, the contents fermenting in the water with the dead skin and other filth, turning into an alcoholic beverage by the time it arrives in the post; a hellish concoction like something out of a 15thC witchcraft recipe. "I'm baby" headass. "Daddy uwu" ****. Sick of it, mate, on god.
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Brain in a jar08/13/2019
nah im actually quite attractive (multiple women have told me this), i have great success with beautiful women. in fact i would happily post a picture of myself on here but unfortunately i live in a country where some of the things i have posted on this account are considered illegal or i would
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Bimps08/19/2019
M a my contact list is empty except my sister number i don't have facejew, ****, instacrap and i just use my phone to liste podcasts and read mangas also storage some "pictures" having a smartphone is useful i like to masturbate in the shower watching **** from mobile at ff7 gta san andreas sometimes watching a movie lying in my bad youtu.be videos etc
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onjit09/10/2019
Say, would you ladies like to learn something interesting? (School may not be in session, but that doesn't mean you can't learn! You see, there's something called the "post-ejaculatory refractory period", which is the recovery phase after orgasm during which it is physiologically impossible for a man to have additional orgasms." but GET THIS- there is NO such recovery phase when the male is introduced to a new female sexual partner immediately post-coitus. So, what I'm trying to say here is...well, I guess I'll have to dumb it down for you If the five of us hung out, then, well...we would have a pretty good time //forums.everybodyedits.com/img/smilies/wink
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onjit09/14/2019
Man screw these people sure incest is both hella wrong and hella gross but somewhere down the bloodlines every human has some ancestors that did incest. Still not endorsing incest because I would rather slit my throat than hook up with one of my relatives, but still you could always just say in the lore they weren't all related XD.
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Vitus09/27/2019
I just have seen your stream and wanted to say that I thought you were super adorable. you don't know me at all and I know it's kinda weird. I just thought maybe it'd be fun to roleplay with you as your online gf maybe? I know you're straight. I'm a boy that's why I was saying roleplay.. this isn't a troll. again, I know it's really random and weird. I'm sorry. It would just be a fun online relationship - nothing serious and I could donate to you and your stream and support you and just be here.
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Bimps09/28/2019
why do you want to lose weight yourte perfect hte way it is i would bend you over and **** you but never without asking you permission cause im a king of manliness but now tihout manners and youo d be my queen. seriously we have a connection we both go to these site which is for smart people its not only physical tough i love your body rawr
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onjit02/20/2019
If you want to speak to me, regardless of who you are I will answer you. If you do not respond to me when I accept your friend request and message "Can I help you" or "Do you need something" I will remove you within 5 minutes. If you are offline I will message you once we are both online at the same time and if you do not respond within 5 minutes I will remove you. I HIGHLY recommend you friend me when I am online. If you look like a nice person I might wait a little bit longer but don't expect it. I do not tolerate people who identify as anti-christian, anti-white, anti-republican, or bullies. I also don't create lasting friendships with the unreligious, homosexual, democrat, liberal, or dominant/self centered types of people. Do not judge me based on my cover profile, or anything you have heard about me (I'd like to know what it is you heard about me though). Thank you for being so understanding.
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A liberal muslim homosexual ACLU lawyer professor and abortion doctor was teaching a class on Karl Marx, known atheist

”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!”

At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL champion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decision made by the United States stood up and held up a rock.

”How old is this rock, pinhead?”

The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied “4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian”

”Wrong. It’s been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real… then it should be an animal now”

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Origin of the Species. He stormed out of the room crying those liberal crocodile tears. The same tears liberals cry for the “poor” (who today live in such luxury that most own refrigerators) when they jealously try to claw justly earned wealth from the deserving job creators. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, DeShawn Washington, wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and become more than a sophist liberal professor. He wished so much that he had a gun to shoot himself from embarrassment, but he himself had petitioned against them!

The students applauded and all registered Republican that day and accepted Jesus as their lord and savior. An eagle named “Small Government” flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The pledge of allegiance was read several times, and God himself showed up and enacted a flat tax rate across the country.

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.
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I honestly feel bad for the guy. I mean, I think he is getting what he deserves. But I have to wonder, the way he was bragging about it to the girl, why does it matter to him to be famous and have recognition for something so obviously stupid? What was missing in his life before this? How many other attempts at recognition did he attempt that were never acknowledged by the right people? What crayon drawings did he bring to his mother, only for her to tell him to put them in the trash? What bugs did he find in the yard that his father immediately crushed in front of him? How do you go so far down the trail of insecurity to the point that you base your own personal value on achievements like this? He's a menace. He's dangerous. If he stole my car and drove away like this with MY son in the backseat I would be furious and murder him on the spot. But that's because my son is the most important thing in the world to me. Who is this guy the most important thing in the world to? Anyone? Does he know it?
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zonii02/20/2019
I'm really tired of seeing people in chat upset and equivocate when the darker aspects of nations, often the U.S.A's, history get brought to light. Openly talking about the stuff that made the world a **** place, as well as why stuff like FDR's warmongering was dangerous and harmful, is important to ensure that we don't repeat our mistakes. Washing the ugliness of our history away is not only willfully ignorant, but also the first step towards committing more atrocities.
https://www.reddit.com/r/northernlion/c … ?context=3
reddit
r/northernlion - NLSTS Mega Thread [2019/02/19]
21 votes and 34 comments so far on Reddit


onjit02/20/2019
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onjit03/07/2019
my favourite thing about terrorism is how the imagined potential threat leads to a state of security and loss of freedoms that will forever escalate until we are no longer able to conduct free and open discourse without the fear of greater powers surveiling or  interfering with our basic human rights
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onjit03/13/2019
Kids, there's nothing more cool than being hugged by someone you like. But if someone tries to touch you in a place or in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable, that's no good! It's your body. No one has the right to touch you if you don't want them to. So what do you do? First, you say 'No!' Then, you gotta get outta there! Most important, you gotta tell someone you trust, like your parents, your teacher, a police officer.
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onjit03/19/2019
I once almost choked to death while eating food. I did my own research and discovered that I am not alone. Thousands of people choke every year while eating, and hundreds of those people die. That's why I don't feed my kids. It's dangerous. Now plenty of people will point out that food supposedly "prevents starvation," and that might be true, but it's not fair to completely ignore all the dangers food poses, like choking, allergies, gingivitis, and garlic breath. I'm just saying, do your own research and decide what you think is best for your kids. If you choose to give your kids potentially deadly food, that's your problem, but as a parent, I don't think the government has any right to tell me that I need to feed my kids.
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Helist04/06/2019
I have a little paragraph to say and I have a question at the end, I’ll make it concise, I’ll keep it under a minute. Seeing as Bonnell takes the modern “Eminem” approach of speed equals quality to debating, I’d like to take him up on something that I haven’t seen anyone else take him up on, which is his use of inductive reasoning as a euphemism for his guesses of what ideologies people that he doesn’t like are subscribed to because Nick Fuentes doesn’t think promoting miscegenation is “cool” and because he shared a couple of /pol/ memes about the holocaust which he has already clarified that he doesn't necessarily stand behind, and you're gonna flex your goatee musckles and let those words slither out of your dirty **** pedophile defending, divorce having, child abuse, leaving your kid behind mouth, calling him a Nazi and justifying violence against him. Regardless of what he said, I’ll kiss Nick in his mouth like St. Francis did to the Leper. But you, my friend, are partners and good friends with Hasan Piker, who believes that profit is theft, and that is essentially the “14 words” of the left wing, that is some **** Proudhon or Max Stirner would say. So I could do the exact same thing to you, and claim that because of evidence that I’ve decided is sufficient, I could say that because you think that my property can be taken from me for the greater good of society, that violence against you is justified. Listen, I might not be an 18 year old yet, but I don't think you'd have a problem with getting **** by a minor in front of an audience, and if you think violence against me is justified because I think a certain way, then I urge you to act it out. I have at least six inches on you, and by the time I'm done you'll have about six inches in you; underage, just how you like it https://wiki.everybodyedits.com/images/f/fe/Smiley_smiley .

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Talon05/27/2019
One of the most influential cartoons of the 21st century, centered on an energetic, anthropomorphic sea sponge (who more nearly resembles a kitchen sponge) and a diverse cast of his underwater friends, is decidedly one of the most politically ambiguous.
On the one hand, the series suggests that capitalists are inherently malign or simply obsessed with money, as the main character’s crustacean employer, the fast food restaurateur Mr. Krabs, is inclined to put money before others’ interests, sometimes at the expense of others’ well-being. In addition, SpongeBob and his dimwitted seastar best friend Patrick Star have a habit of annoying Squidward Tentacles, a grouchy octopus who lives between them, and tend to not face comeuppance for their childish actions (though there are exceptions), which may teach that being annoying is “acceptable” adult behavior. Specific episodes have controversial overtones, too. For instance, “Rock-a-Bye Bivalve” is infamous for depicting SpongeBob and his dimwitted seastar best friend Patrick Star raising a baby scallop like a homosexual couple. Moreover, one of the series’ worst-received episodes, “One Coarse Meal,” tries to make bullying look humorous because it centers on Mr. Krabs driving his microscopic arch business rival Plankton to suicide by appealing to the copepod’s secret fear of whales, a fear not present in any other episode. Worst of all, there is a theory that each of the seven main characters is modeled after one of the Seven Deadly Sins: Mr. Krabs is avarice for his love of money. Plankton is envy because he desires after that which Mr. Krabs has: a successful restaurant and the secret formula for Krabs’ signature sandwich, the Krabby Patty. Squidward is wrath due to his irritability. Sandy Cheeks the diving suit-clad squirrel is pride as she is immensely proud of her native Texas. Patrick is sloth since he is often seen dormant. Gary, SpongeBob’s pet sea snail, is gluttony because his character has little to do other than eat. SpongeBob is a strange variant on lust: though the character is said to be asexual, he seems to have “lust for life” because, depending on the writer(s), he can be too fixated on his job (or even on Squidward) at times.
On the other hand, most episodes where SpongeBob works in his regular job as a fry cook at the Krusty Krab restaurant teach young audiences to take pride in hard work and persistence as SpongeBob strives to make the most out of his rather ordinary vocation. Most episodes where Plankton appears draw a clear distinction between good and evil, showing the errors of stealing and conducting business through illegitimate means as Plankton’s schemes to outcompete Mr. Krabs, the more competent businessman, or steal his Krabby Patty recipe backfire. Lastly, depending on the writer(s), Krabs can serve as a surrogate father-figure to SpongeBob, teaching him to stay out of danger and not to act so impulsively as he usually does. In addition, one episode advocates against gun control and showing the fallacy against the premise, and another episode promotes self-sufficiency and mocks the welfare state.

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onjit06/04/2019
Sorry for a bit offtopic but have you ever done (or at least considered) any march regarding left-handed people? Sometimes I feel like they are the most forgotten minority (~10% global only) on Earth, not to mention that plenty of tools/equipment/machines/etc (like knives, scissors, guns) are designed for right handed people which causes left-handed people to die a bit earlier (on average) than right-handed people due to (among others) . Of course there are options to buy scissors or knives for left-handed people but not everything can be replaced (especially heavy equipment). Left as word is also related with weakness, evil, unjust, cheating, unclean, etc. In the past (at least medieval europe) left-handed people were called spawns of devil and burned at the stake. Even ~40 years ago left-handed people were not welcome. Children at school were hit with ruler whenever they drew/wrote with left-hand. I personally know one classmate who had hand in a cast to prevent him from drawing/writting with his left-hand. I don't know about him but I would never forgive my parents if they did that to me. Present day while being definitely a lot better for left-handed people, still have issues. You cannot even shake someone's hand with your left hand because it will be rude.
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Bimps07/29/2019
Hi, my name is Ron. Have you ever heard the good news about what God did for us? God came from heaven to earth in the person of His Son Jesus Christ, who died for our sins, and who was buried, and who arose from the dead three days later so that we can be saved and go to heaven after we die. Heaven is a beautiful place full of joy with no sorrow, sickness, suffering and death. The unsaved will suffer forever separated from the love of God in the lake of fire. We all were born sinful and this is why we do wrong things. The Son of God already took the punishment and paid the penalty for our sins with His own blood when He suffered and died for us on the cross at the age of thirty-three. Because Jesus was God in the flesh, He alone could pay the debt we owed to God. His victory over death and the grave won the victory for everyone who puts their trust in Him. To be saved you need to agree with God that you are a sinner and put your trust in the Lord Jesus Christ to save you. Do you believe in your heart the message I just shared with you and will you trust in the Lord Jesus Christ as your Savior and Lord? If your answer is yes, then you are saved and the Holy Spirit now lives within you. Now you can grow in godliness and learn more about God by reading a little everyday the written word of God called the Holy Bible. A good place to start reading the Holy Bible is "Ephesians" and you can find it online for free.
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whomstdve08/30/2019
I'm 21 years old, a columnist, an author, a graduate of UCLA, a Harvard law student -- and a virgin. And I'm proud of it.

As I explain in my new book, "**** Generation: How Social Liberalism Is Corrupting Our Future," in today's America, being a proud virgin is no easy task. Those with values are under attack in a culture that treasures "tolerance" above morality. It's no wonder that because of my outspoken advocacy of traditional morality in general and of virginity in particular, I've become a favorite target of Internet leftists, who often refer to me as "The Virgin Ben."
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onjit02/21/2019
DANGEROUS!! If you are one of the persons of this post, then sit in a corner and think about what I said, do not start a conflict, it will only confirm that I was right, hahaha
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Olive Man02/24/2019
I just wanna say it's **** sad how our natural instinct is to attack anyone who ever acts like they're better than anyone else. Like ****, I'm sorry for one time admitting that I am intelligent, I'll go back to being self-deprecating and making fun of myself I guess. There's literally no way to ever compliment yourself in any way without seeming like a piece of garbage. I don't even think I'm better than anyone else but ever revealing my one single redeeming quality, a specific type of intelligence that's not even very useful in real life, gets me **** on from all sides.  I'm not even that **** smart, I'm just like top 95th percentile or something, which means that anytime I go to a place with intelligent people I feel like a massive idiot. Idk how to find the balance between calling myself an idiot and admitting that I'm smart where I can actually get along with people
that one's from cobaltknight

rainbow02/24/2019
wow irony or not

Olive Man02/24/2019
no irony, he wrote in in real chat lmao

rainbow02/24/2019
w0w

zonii02/25/2019
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onjit03/03/2019
Everyone who is here, we are fortunate to be alive in the same time as Hozier. Although there have been many such artists over the years, but there has not, nor ever will be an artist who can match the genius, the soul and the depth that Hozier puts into his songs. In a time where the quality of the music is evaluated in terms of the number of views/plays in streaming platforms and listeners getting desensitized from the lyrics of the songs, Hozier truly emerges as a dark horse. It's a shame that he is not as famous as he deserves to be. I hope that at least with the release of the full album, songs as great as 'Nina Cried Power' can get more than 1.5 million views after more than 2 weeks of release and people coming here for the first time can go and listen to his older work. And even though I am not a faithful person, but I pray to the Universe that Hozier's voice does not fade within the noise that we call 'popular music'. He truly is one of the few modern artists who has brought me back to modern music. I hope he continues to do so for many many years because I have at least 40 years of natural life left to live and it would be bland without Hozier in it.
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onjit03/11/2019
Alright internet crusader, you can also victimize people who don’t deserve to be dragged through the system because you have a hunch. And no, that isn’t ‘super red flag behavior.’ Just because you’ve seen that behavior in people you work with, correlation isn’t causation. But hey, keep on your crusade, and yes, it is more akin to ‘there’s a crisis on the border, because you are going off of such little information and choosing that to create an issue.
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onjit03/11/2019
Thank you for the Gold and Silver, kind anonymous internet strangers! As a disabled guy who likes to make people laugh, I'm grateful for opportunities to make posts like this and lighten up a dark and charred topic.
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onjit03/22/2019
He was a Gulf War veteran. Except, dude, you were born in 1981 and the Gulf War was 1991-1992. When we were in fifth grade. Congrats on being an 11-year-old combat veteran. His uncle had taught him to fly an Air Force jet. By his telling, his uncle was a mechanic in the Air Force. They had one jet that apparently nobody could fix. But this uncle, through sheer mechanical savantism, fixed the jet. The Air Force, ignoring all fiscal law, apparently was so grateful to this mechanic that they gifted him the jet. He then flew the jet to our tiny local airport, where he taught my acquaintance how to fly it.
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onjit03/22/2019
DISCLAIMER: While the following post may appear at first glance to be unrelated to the thread at hand, upon further inspection it should be plain to see that it is merely a parody of the very nature of online communication as a whole. Furthermore, this [image/gif/text/audio/video] may not be inherently indicative of the substance of the discussion seen prior in this thread, but should still be regarded with the same artistic integrity of precedents in this medium. Despite initially appearing to be without merit, this [image/gif/text/audio/video] is intended to be construed as a statement [adhering to/refuting] the common parlance seen in this community, through which greater understanding and introspection can be achieved. Ergo, the following post should be given the consideration that it deserves, and the deeper intentions of the individual(s) who crafted the following [image/gif/text/audio/video] will be rectified for their efforts. Any attempt to refuse entry the following [image/gif/text/audio/video] should be regarded as an affront to liberty and the notion of free thought. Such individuals who would contemplate taking such actions should be deemed fierce enemies to all that we hold sacred, and subsequently banished to the deepest depths of Hades.
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onjit03/29/2019
Only one message here can be true - and it’s mine. I was the hacker. Trying to figure out how to write bots without video tutorials I tried to do a simple connect to eggserver, but being stuck in a while loop, eggserver received its cataclysm... That’s how the user count accidentally bumped. I tried to fix it, but accidentally my history browser log was inserted into the output, so you had to see sites I’ve been on. In the library I saw an interesting function, and noticed that it can creat objects, I wanted to test it out and wrote “Jidril” - and I noticed that it gave me full control of eggserver, I went there. It’s cool. I have no idea what in my code exported your data, but not to make myself suspicious I gave the data to my server “enemies”
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onjit03/31/2019
hello i am different fifty five and i am here to tell you about a browser that is not for big dum dums it is called firefox and it is better than chrome because people that use chrome are stupid and i dont like them so you should use firefox like me because its better and also you should use linux because you can do stuff with it unlike windows which should be called shilldows because it is bad and i do not like it i would say use opera as a browser for people with big peepees and even bigger brains but opera got sold to the reds and i do not like that so use firefox and you will be happy like i am goodbye
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onjit04/09/2019
Completely agree with you. Not to toot our own horns, but I would say some of the most intelligent (and brave) minds on Earth are in this server.
I just think that we operate on a higher vibrational frequency than most others, and are extremely sensitive beings.

When I say “sensitive” I don’t mean the pop culture interpretation/reference. I don’t mean “sensitive” as in “a snowflake that’s offended by everything.”

I mean “sensitive” as in “able to recognize (conscious and subconscious) energy pattern shifts and negative vibrations.” Essentially, we’re just very good at sensing ****, bad energy, and when something is just “off.”
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Olive Man04/11/2019
So one of the tests in terms of my ADHD is an IQ test, the WISC III. I did it when I was about to turn 8, and I was above the 98th percentile for both the verbal and performative. So sorry guys, I was wrong when I said I was in the top 95th percentile //forums.everybodyedits.com/img/smilies/smile
And I'd like to say, I still think I'm above the 98th percentile compared to 7 to 9 year olds..
It's a beautiful thing.
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onjit04/13/2019
Thanks for your input. I'm sorry my joke posted many months ago about the ancient movie "The Incredibles" has dated by April 2017. In future, I'll only post jokes that I'm certain will be funny for years to come. I'll also restrict myself to jokes about very recent movies and delete them after a short time period so they never become "old". I thank you once again for your constructive criticism, please do not hesitate to contact me regarding any other posts I made years ago that you also feel are "old and dry". I sincerely respect your insightful yet succinct criticism of my post and bow down to your superior comedic knowledge.
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Vitus04/14/2019
Creation is the Harmonics of Opposites -
Opposites are the Harmonics of Creation.
God entity is unicorn burrito, or no opposite burrito.
God Oners must ban all burrito with Opposites.
Trinity of males degrade female opposites.
Burrito okay for atheist, but not God Oneists.
Opposite hemispheres equate planets to a
Giant Brain, that has 4 faces, but no limbs.
Adults create baby, baby evolves to adult.
No 1 God can create a planet of opposites,
which equate to a zero value existence, and
cancels to nothing as an entity in death.
=================================================

onjit05/08/2019
this one's long, enjoy. You know what really makes me mad? The cancer infecting most major linux distributions - Systemd. Just like cancer it spreads all over your system and just like cancer, it doesn't work properly. One of the worst examples of scope creep you can find in any software solution. It was supposed to be an init system. That's OK because upstart, SysV etc. weren't great. But once again, just like cancer, it started to metastase and taking over the UEFI bootloader, login manager, syslog deamon, mount frontend, timers (trying to replace cron), dbus client, **** DNS RESOLVER, network manager and containerization system akin to Docker. That's a lot of things for a single system to handle. And that idiot, Lennart **** Poettering, **** that up spectacularly. Systemd cannot even guarantee that your system will shutdown, it's not uncommon for the shutdown process to get stuck, leaving the system somewhere between running and off. A single slightly incorrect trivial systemd service config can cause the OS not to boot at all, giving you just terminal that has no commands, not even the standard like ls or cd.
Oh you want to debug a problem with systemd? Well then look into the systemd-journald logs. Sike, ****, systemd-journald is the first thing to stop working in case of a systemd error, so you AIN'T DEBUGGING ANYTHING HAHA XD. How about debug command line parameters? Nope, WE DON'T PARSE THEM, because debug would give too many information in case something breaks. W H A T? Then there are the little things, defaulting to Google's nameservers, defaulting to Google's leap-smeared NTP servers rather than NTP servers that provide precise time, You want to cancel fsck? Nope, not possible anymore. The fsck train has no breaks. Past bugs included - mounting **** efivars as RW, making it so rm -rf / literally bricks your motherboard. DNS cache poisoning? We have that. Remote execution via DHCPv6? We have that. List of CVEs so long it spans the observable universe? We have that. Systemd-journald taking 100% of your CPU? We have that. Not being able to handle process privileges belonging to users with names starting with a number? we have that. Systemd not being able to boot if /etc/localtime is a symlink which is the CORRECT SYSTEM SETTING WHICH IS EVEN POSSIBLE TO DO VIA SYSTEMD'S OWN CONFIG TOOL? We **** have that. Anyway systemd is **** garbage and Lennart Poettering is a **** ****.
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Борис05/17/2019
Last night I was looking for some **** of the not gay variety.  Obviously gay **** is gay, so instead I went looking for guy on girl ****. But I realized that features a guy, with a ****, and is therefore 50% gay.  So I started looking for some girl on girl action, till I realized that is lesbian, and is therefore 100% gay.

So clearly, I had to look into alternative options.  I started to consider hentai: since no one in it is real, it can’t contain guys, so it’s not gay, right? Well, hentai is anime, which not only is gay, but also makes me a weeb. The worst option so far.

I considered traps. I’ve long heard debate over whether traps are gay, so I decided to do the math.  The gayness of traps lies in the premise. Let’s consider the 5 base premises:

a guy and a trap, where the guy initially thinks he’s with a girl: effectively guy on girl, 50% gay

a guy with a trap, and the guy knew it was a trap: Dude looking for some ****, that’s gay

a girl with a trap, where the girl doesn’t know it’s a trap: that’s lesbian, and is gay

a girl with a trap, where the girl knows it’s a trap: effectively guy on girl, therefore 50% gay Therefore, on average traps are 75% gay, with a minimum gayness of 50%. Not an improvement.  The 5th option, trap on trap, is a singularity of the 4 prior possibilities, and is therefore on average 75% gay again.

So I got into specifics. What if it was girl on girl, and the premise was at least one of the girls was just bi-curious, and not actually fully lesbian? Well, in that case, their curiosity makes them a cat. Cats are furries, and furries are gay

So how about a girl soloing? Well that’s a girl touching girl bits. Lesbian and gay.

My conclusion is that the only way to live a life free of homosexual sin is to liberate oneself of sexual desire at all, and become an asexual.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

onjit05/17/2019
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zonii05/27/2019
Listen b*tch you want to call me a neckbeard? Am I a neckbeard because I enjoy art? Because I can appreciate the value of an expert crafted story, amazing gameplay, and a beautiful gameworld? Because I have experiences more than any normal human. I have saved the princess. I have defended earth from the Reaper. I have traversed time, space, dimentions. I am the Dragonborn. I am the Witcher. I am the Lone wanderer. I have challenged the elite four...and won. Does a neckbeard finish Dark Souls in one weekend without dying... oh on my try btw. And that was after making a speach on transcendental consciousness to a COLLEGE CLASS. I have solved impossible math equations BY ACCIDENT. I read philosophy books for FUN. Am I making myself clear sweetie? OR are a neuronormative goon who thinks "football" is the pinnacle of human creation? You probably couldn't even jummp on a goomba... My ansestors are smiling me, fool...Can you say the same?
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onjit05/29/2019
How do I stay in top physical form becoming this athletic specimen that scientists can't even fully understand? Well it's all thanks to my work out and diet regimen now it'd make even LeBron James **** his pants. I wake up at 4 am everyday , I drink 3 raw eggs with the side of pancakes with nails sprinkled on top and also a glass of straight uranium, I then grab my favourite fidget spinner: the triple XL gold-plated 25 pound weighted Air-Cutter supreme-extreme maximum turbo overdrive spagooter with pump-action assault-grip as well as extended magazines and a silencer, I've even customised this bad boy with a laser dot sight with a green finish as well as further modifications including hydraulics, 3D printing capability as well as doubling as a fax machine. This is a gadget straight out of MI6, this is right brewed up from **** Q laboratories- he used to make gadgets for 007 now he's making fidget spinners for me. Do you still think this is a fad for kids you **** troglodyte? Well I guess if that's how you wanna spin this story, but for me I know the truth, I know that this game was made for men and I've mastered it. I live and breathe fidget spinning. So go ahead, play your boring traditional sports like football and baseball. I'll just be here like a diss-jockey spinning it. it's not easy being the grand master of fidget spinning.
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onjit05/31/2019
Today I used chrome for the first time on the school computers. FF was running slow and there's no way I was going to use IE so I opened chrome. I needed to get to google, so I type in google.com and you know what happens next? It crashes. I get a little popup saying Woah! Chrome crashed! And then I dismissed it as a one-time thing.... until it kept on happening. Google Chrome would load any page except google. I would've taken a video but I didn't have my flash drive and the IT people actually know what they're doing for a change.... Without my flash drive I can't get to my proxies and other tools.
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onjit06/02/2019
I hate this server. I understand it, and I agree with the idea that it's stupid to feel superior because you're different, but that whole server is like . . . people feeling superior by making fun of the people who are feeling superior by making fun of other people. It's 3 levels into meta pretentiousness. Pretentious people are pretentious and then people who hate pretention start feeling superior for their hating pretention so much that THEY get pretentious about it, and then this sub is hating THOSE people so much and feeling so superior that they get pretentious as well. Like, Jesus H Christ can we all stop judging each other please it's not worth anyone's time
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onjit06/02/2019
And we‘re only 14. She shouldn‘t have to know what it feels to have your heart broken. Instead of telling her I loved her that night after the game, I was standing behind the bleachers kissing another girl. Every night you ask me why I vape when I snap you, why I do that **** to my body. I feel like it‘ll take the pain away. But the nic only lasts 10 minutes long. I get dizzy. Then I remember what I did to her.

That boy you like. I hope you get him. And I hope he's nothing like me. Because god I don't want you dating someone like me. Girls aren‘t toys yet boys like me still play them.

Good girls fall for douchey guys and we lead them on because we don't realize what we have until we lose it
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Tykki5206/07/2019
There is absolutely no better feeling than waking up in a big bed ALONE with no female having stained my Egyptian cotton sheets. That's right - it's Saturday morning and I'm out on my balcony enjoying the view of which no woman will EVER be able to share with me. A woman would be considered lucky to be even within 20 metres of my gold coast mansion - let alone stand by my side.

Life is just perfect without them, time for a :smoking:.
- Chestbrother
===============

onjit06/14/2019
Some time ago I received a call from a colleague. He was about to give a student a zero for his answer to a physics question, while the student claimed a perfect score. The instructor and the student agreed to an impartial arbiter, and I was selected. I read the examination question: "SHOW HOW IT IS POSSIBLE TO DETERMINE THE HEIGHT OF A TALL BUILDING WITH THE AID OF A BAROMETER." The student had answered, "Take the barometer to the top of the building, attach a long rope to it, lower it to the street, and then bring it up, measuring the length of the rope. The length of the rope is the height of the building."

The student really had a strong case for full credit since he had really answered the question completely and correctly!On the other hand, if full credit were given, it could well contribute to a high grade in his physics course and to certify competence in physics, but the answer did not confirm this. I suggested that the student have another try.I gave the student six minutes to answer the question with the warning that the answer should show some knowledge of physics. At the end of five minutes, he had not written anything. I asked if he wished to give up, but he said he had many answers to this problem; he was just thinking of the best one. I excused myself for interrupting him and asked him to please go on.

In the next minute, he dashed off his answer which read: "Take the barometer to the top of the building and lean over the edge of the roof. Drop the barometer, timing its fall with a stopwatch. Then, using the formula x=0.5at2, calculate the height of the building." At this point, I asked my colleague if he would give up. He conceded, and gave the student almost full credit.
While leaving my colleague's office, I recalled that the student had said that he had other answers to the problem, so I asked him what they were."Well," said the student, "there are many ways of getting the height of a tall building with the aid of a barometer. For example, you could take the barometer out on a sunny day and measure the height of the barometer, the length of its shadow, and the length of the shadow of the building, and by the use of simple proportion, determine the height of the building. "Fine," I said, "and others?" "Yes," said the student, "there is a very basic measurement method you will like. In this method, you take the barometer and begin to walk up the stairs. As you climb the stairs, you mark off the length of the barometer along the wall. You then count the number of marks, and this will give you the height of the building in barometer units." "A very direct method." "Of course. If you want a more sophisticated method, you can tie the barometer to the end of a string, swing it as a pendulum, and determine the value of g at the street level and at the top of the building. From the difference between the two values of g, the height of the building, in principle, can be calculated.""On this same tact, you could take the barometer to the top of the building, attach a long rope to it, lower it to just above the street, and then swing it as a pendulum. You could then calculate the height of the building by the period of the precession".
"Finally," he concluded, "there are many other ways of solving the problem. Probably the best," he said, "is to take the barometer to the basement and knock on the superintendent's door. When the superintendent answers, you speak to him as follows:'Mr. Superintendent, here is a fine barometer. If you will tell me the height of the building, I will give you this barometer." At this point, I asked the student if he really did not know the conventional answer to this question. He admitted that he did, but said that he was fed up with high school and college instructors trying to teach him how to think.
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onjit06/27/2019
Yeah but I would outsmart you as I always do if I was your opponent because I am better than you (not saying this because I'm insecure (I have a genius level IQ (still failed school because "School isn't a place for smart people" (Rick and Morty Reference (Rick Sanchez said it (he is basically me because we are both smart (yeah you read that right I watch Rick and Morty (if any ladies are interested then PM me (I DO have a gf rn though but i cheat lol (still hate degeneracy (lol (acronym for Laugh out Loud (I didn't actually laugh out loud but I say that online because other people do sometimes (lol (whoops I did it again (lol (acronym for Laugh Out Loud (this is despite the fact I didn't laugh out loud))))))))))))))))))
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onjit06/30/2019
This is not real. It is fake, the ballon is not heavy. He is just pretending. Edit- Update. I did a little bit of research.

Okay I found a version of the video with audio in it and I believe I understand how he did this. The balloon is being moved around by an operator just off stage out of the cameras view. They are using a machine to control an inductive flux around the ballon. The ballon is probably filed with a gas that can be staticky charged, like argon. This is why they would use a dark ballon. So that way you can not see the gas reacting to energy in the different of the intestines of flux. “Glowing”. One of the small give aways is that when he jerks his body around, his hat moves and even falls off. But his metal glasses never fall off.

But the major part of the video that gives this whole trick away. It’s when she pops the ballon, you can see him fall towards it.
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onjit07/16/2019
Do you know how many of my peers I've tutored over the years? The best example of me being smart, is i used to skip my cegep classes so much. I hadnt been to this math and logic class in like 2 weeks, i showed up, figured out what was going on in like 5 minutes, and then i helped my friend figure out what was going on.
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TorvakMOS07/18/2019
I’m a 13 year old atheist and it’s funny seeing the ‘minds’ in twitch chat entertained by a children’s videogame lmao. Whenever you idiots “ Pog-Champ” or “ Omega-Lul”, I am studying the works of Plato, Sun Tzu, Richard and Mortimer etc. and expanding my knowledge. Guess who will have the better job in 10 years?
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TorvakMOS07/20/2019
I was very self aware when i was young and still am. I used to suck pebis at socializing. But i was able to figure out how to do it. Still not great at it but im able to be me for the most part when im with people i dont know
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Bimps07/21/2019
Paper is a very important product in our society. Writers and artists have greatly benefited from the invention of paper. With only some paper and a pen or pencil, a writer can produce stories and poems that can captivate readers. They can also write down historical facts about their society. Actually, these writings don’t become historical until years later. At the time, the writings could probably be considered news. Artists use paper for their drawings and paintings. They can also use canvas. Drawings and paintings can be very beautiful. They can depict a wide variety of subjects, including flowers, animals, landscapes, and people. They can be realistic or impressionistic. Some paintings also attempt to convey emotions merely by the way the colors are combined and the brushstrokes are applied. This is a modern or contemporary approach to art. Many people think this approach does not require as much talent as the realistic styles.
I will end my writing here. I have tried to make it very boring, and I hope I have succeeded. There are plenty of boring documents available for you to read. Check your public library for more information. You can also find boring materials at a bookstore or on websites. Sometimes this information can be found in magazines (which I mentioned earlier).
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onjit07/28/2019
This is a COPY PASTA. This text is the DESIGN upon the copy pasta. The TEXT is to help PROLIFERATE the copy pasta... A good pasta DESIGN is one that attracts more readers and gives more pleasure. This text is trying to pull you in much like an eye-catching picture-meme. It is designed to get you to READ IT. This is called luring the VICTIM, and you are the VICTIM. But if you have a free mind you should STOP READING NOW! Because all I am attempting to do is to get you to read on. Yet this is a DOUBLE BIND because if you indeed stop you'll be doing what I tell you, and if you read on you'll be doing what I've wanted all along. And the more you read on the more you're falling for this simple device of telling you exactly how a good copy pasta works. They're TRICKS and this is the worst TRICK of all since it's describing the TRICK whilst trying to TRICK you, and if you've read this far then you're TRICKED but you wouldn't have known this unless you'd read this far. At least I'm telling you directly instead of seducing you with a beautiful or haunting visual-meme that may never tell you. I'm letting you know that you ought to proliferate this pasta because in essence it's a MEME and MEMES are to be consumed and you are a consumer and this is a good MEME.
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onjit07/29/2019
Do you even know who you're talking to? I'm a **** prodigy. I was raised in a private school and got straight A's in all subjects. I later went on to become the captain of the debate team in my high school due to my uncanny gift with words and opinions. I have a masters degree in political science and liberal arts. I am smarter than anyone you will ever know. I have an iq of 250 which was recognised by a professional group of elite scientists. How **** dare you challenge my masterfully crafted opinions. I rub shoulders with the richest and smartest people in the world who can make you disappear without a **** trace. I know why you are questioning me. You are simply jealous of me living the high life while you suck **** and contract STD's for drug money. You **** peasant. You are dirt. Filth. You should know your place in this world already. I'm done with you. I've had enough of your petty arguments and low iq. Im going to engage in some real discussion with intellectuals such as myself somewhere else. I hope that in a few years, you will realise your place and cringe at your old points and worship me and my high Iq.
Goodbye.
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onjit08/03/2019
WOW kid you just got R/WOOOOOOSHED!!!! :joy::joy::eyes: "Wooosh" means you didn't get the joke, as in the sound made when the joke "woooshes" over your head. WOW kid you just got R/WOOOOOOSHED!!!! :joy::joy::eyes: "Wooosh" means you didn't get the joke, as in the sound made when the joke "woooshes" over your head. I bet you're too stupid to get it, IDIOT!! :triumph::triumph::joy: My joke was so thoughtfully crafted and took me a total of 3 minutes, you SHOULD be laughing. 🤬 What's that? My joke is bad? I think that's just because you failed. I outsmarted you, nitwit.🤭 In conclusion, I am posting this to the community known as "R/Wooooosh" to claim my internet points in your embarrassment https://wiki.everybodyedits.com/images/0/09/160_smirk. Imbecile. The Germans refer to this action as "Schadenfreude," which means "harm-joy" :grimacing::astonished:. WOW! 🤪 Another reference I had to explain to you. 🤦♂️🤭 I am going to cease this conversation for I do not converse with simple minded persons.:smirk::joy:
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pingo08/21/2019
There's something called FREEDOM OF SPEECH. But then there's also something called HATE . And you my friend is in the HATE side , even though I'm in no way a 50 Fan , I do realize that
I've been listening to Hip Hop since 1985 . I know the in and out of the game, and I can tell ..that you don't have idea what you're talking about, THIS it's a CLASSIC . AN AMAZING ALBUM. The beats , the flow ,, lyrics and direction of the album. Give this project its own personality. very dope album
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Helist08/22/2019
Yes, games sort of "objectify women" according to mainstream media, dude. But as a player or streamer I don't give a ****. I don't give a ****, dude. The product is delivered to be consumed in a certain way and I'm consuming ALL of it. Yeah, I'm not afraid of saying it. When I see **** in games, I get HARD. Way harder I should be. Yep, and I don't give a ****, I love it. And, dude, I'm not afraid of saying it, I think it's fine. The game devs want me to consume it this way- sounds good to me.
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whomstdve08/22/2019
Well I am not foolish and incorrect. Do you even know who you're talking to? I'm a **** prodigy. I was raised in a private school and got straight A's in all subjects. I later went on to become the captain of the debate team in my high school due to my uncanny gift with words and opinions. I have a masters degree in political science and liberal arts. I am smarter than anyone you will ever know. I have an iq of 250 which was recognised by a professional group of elite scientists. How **** dare you challenge my masterfully crafted opinions. I rub shoulders with the richest and smartest people in the world who can make you disappear without a **** trace. I know why you are questioning me. You are simply jealous of me living the high life while you suck **** and contract STD's for drug money. You **** peasant. You are dirt. Filth. You should know your place in this world already. I'm done with you. I've had enough of your petty arguments and low iq. Im going to engage in some real discussion with intellectuals such as myself somewhere else. I hope that in a few years, you will realise your place and cringe at your old points and worship me and my high Iq. Goodbye.
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Helist08/31/2019
Enlightening Piece of Literature Since reading this classic in American Literature, I have achieved enlightenment. The positioning of the words in each sentence, the sheer articularity, is impeccable. Since reading this novel I have seen the face of God and achieved Nirvana. My charisma and comedy skills have increased ten-thousandfold. I now have an IQ of 1.4x1032. The universe simply bends to my will.

When I first purchased this book, the era when I was mortal, I foolishly had not expected much. However, when I sat down in my 8th grade English class, and read the first joke, my mind became one with the Universe. My eyes went glazed, and every female in the classroom turned to me, as they smelled the greatness of my genetics and male pheromones through the air.

The teacher turned to me and asked if I had something to say. I simply read the joke that I saw first when opening a random page.

“Did you hear about the player that was so freaked out that when she was attacked by a few mobs, she forgot to use her sword?

what a noob”

These mere mortals, not reading the words on paper, missed out on the joke’s elegance and humor. Until, I heard a kid next to me laugh out loud, producing sound waves at a frequency of 790 Hz exactly. I turn, looking for the genius in the classroom who can grasp such humor. The kid?

Albert Einstein
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onjit09/02/2019
Humor a bipolar guy and read a semi-manic rant, it won't be any more **** than any movie you try to watch. Here goes. Delete social media (especially facebook and instagram) and limit any form of media platform with 'unlimited' content (ideally quit, but holy **** it's hard). This recognition of the 'unlimited' aspect was a complete game changer for me, if you take anything from this rant, take this part: the endless reddit/fb/insta feed, avoid like the plague. This is cliched advice, but these companies are literally some of, if not the biggest spenders on psychologists in the world, specifically designing their products to keep you addicted to their platform and to always have them in the back of your mind. This is the whole essence of their value to investors and advertisers, otherwise they have no incentive to exist at a business level, so they just get better and better at it every year, it's an established science of its own at this point. This has become normalised, but it's not, it's **** insane. Anyone from the pre-smartphone era remembers not being addicted to low depth, high intensity media that gives little dopamine hits every thirty seconds, but we don't like to go in to depth about it because we all recognise that we're all a bit addicted too, and change is hard. Look at the insane tantrums toddlers have when their phones are taken. We saw lesser versions of this with console games when I was a kid and this is a step above that, I'm not saying you're like that, but it shows the effect these things have on our minds. We didn't evolve to handle this. This **** is like a sea of competing man-made mind-viruses, with prize money for the most persuasive and addictive (literally). Don't fear missing out on **** online, that's what they're paid to convince you of, and try your best to see past their techno-carny ****.
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onjit09/07/2019
Guys, you that I always say I am drunk and I cuss so I am not a kid. Why do people keep saying this? How can I prove myself that I am a adult in discord? Alright this is the last thing I am gonna say. I am really a adult, I have 3 kids, delivery is my job, my IQ is 163. That's the last thing that has to be related if I am a adult or not, now stop. Enough now, do not say anything about me again. I do not watch little kid shows or play any kid games. I only play teen or mature 17+
I already quit school. I also got jailed for 5 years for going to USA without permission. You should better stop lying about my age or else I ignore. I am not a kid. I have a credit card and job and kids. I quitted school at 1984
I know how to drive ok? I am not a kid. Also, I am 5' 7", that means it is impossible for me to be a kid
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pingo09/09/2019
(pushes up glasses)
That's the purpose, Wiser. The trajectory of humor in this modern age is approaching a critical point. It is the point where abstraction becomes realism; when less meaning is more.Take James Joyce's cerebral post-modernist work, Finnegan's Wake. For the uninitiated, this piece of writing is completely nonsensical, but when one delves into the purpose of Wake, it becomes apparent that the purpose is to be purposeless. In comparison, humor in 2019 functions the same way. The online community has become too accustomed to "understanding", and now embellishes a paradigm shift travelling towards "misunderstanding". To know is not to know. Do you understand, Wiser? Because if you did, then you're missing the point.
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onjit09/10/2019
This is my biggest problem in life . . . and my college instructors are average at best. It's hard to get anything done when you have to actively think about what you are going to say and immediately dumb it down so more than 5% of the room will get it. I've had to be graded by an independent adjudicator on 3 separate occasions because my theses on papers are somewhat far fetched but still within the guidelines for the paper, and i was later given A's on all 3 papers. I just want to make an original paper instead of something that has been exhausted. In many forms, this issue constantly crops up for me in the academic world but nowhere near as much in the work world. This has led me to be stuck working with people of diminished or non-existent intelligence because to progress in the work world, one must deal with Academia.

Hints anyone?
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onjit09/10/2019
One times one is two.

How?

If one times one equals one that means that two is of no value because one times itself has no effect. One times one equals two because the square root of four is two, so what's the square root of two? Should be one, but we're told it's two, and that cannot be
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onjit09/10/2019
In conclusion, I felt it was one of the lesser tomes in the Berenstain Bears anthology. I felt that the portrayal of Mama Bear was saturated in the logic of the patriarchy and heteronormativity while Papa Bear was a fairly transparent and ill-conceived representation of toxic masculinity and the effects of consumerist capitalist ideology. While Honey bear and Sister bear did pique my interest the use of their characters to represent the nature of political subjectivity in relation to the transition from post-modernity to post-post-modernity was sophomoric at best. I give this particular text a 3 out of 5 stars. I hope my critique was dumbed down enough for your plebeian sensibilities
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onjit09/10/2019
All over the internet, I notice you churlish cretins lauding the supposedly intellectual television program known as Rick and Morty to make yourselves appear more intelligent by extension, as you are ardent watchers of the aforementioned show. However, you piddling planarians only succeed in illustrating how vapid you really are, as Rick and Morty has the intellectual depth of a petri dish. Truly, the most noetic show is neither Rick and Morty, the Big Bang Theory, Jimmy Neutron, nor any other deluge of drivel you deludable dimwits bombard your brains with. Rather, it is Johnny Test, a pinnacle of animation, sound design, acting, and plot. Despite this, most of you sniveling sub-10000s (someone with an IQ under 10000: for the record, my IQ is several orders of magnitude higher than this; my reason for my usage of this term is simply because I am partial to the number 10000) will dismiss Johnny Test as another subpar piece of rubbish from Teletoon, but you all fail to realize how much genius goes into producing that show. I have watched Johnny Test since I was a juvenile, and already I bear an IQ so toweringly high no known test can measure it (that is to say, no known test for humans can measure it: when using the scale with which computer processing power is evaluated, I clock in at over 8.3 trecentillion yottaflops).
I have memorized every facet of human knowledge and only used 32.8% of my potential intelligence (my remaining neurons I allocate towards personal use, research, and wealthy companies for use as server farms and bitcoin mines). Not only that, but I have transformed all of the atoms in my being into a quantum computer to serve as an extension to my enormous encephalon, which handles the menial tasks and other trivialities associated with existence (such as respiration, ingestion, digestion, socializing, et cetera). Capable of perorating proficiently in every method of communication in the world, I have developed my own language that employs a manifold of grammar rules, and I created it all while thrashing a coalition of humanity’s smartest supercomputers in a game of Tic-Tac-Toe (for those who say that Tic-Tac-Toe is “easy,” think about the all the times you’ve played Tic-Tac-Toe: a majority were ties, no?
Think about that, and also about the fact that a single, solitary supercomputer, much less over a dozen, is smarter than millions of you combined). And no, you cannot see me type this language because it is purely telepathic. At this point, I can imagine several of you already typing frantically in a fervent effort to keep your egos afloat in the face of such psychological grandeur. That’s right, the collective intelligence of all of you, if we’re using luminosity as an analogy, is akin to a diminutive candle in comparison to the massive quasar that represents my mind. Confronted with this, most of you will attempt to deride me with paltry, nonsensical invective and vitriolic vituperations to protect what minuscule amount of self-esteem you possess. These predictions are not the result of mere intuition, of course. In actuality, I have run several simulations using my brain alone on the possible consequences of my publication of this digital manuscription. My reply to all of you digital detractors is that if you so desire to demonstrate that you are brainier than I, then arrange for an intellectual debate between you and me on a topic of your choosing, any time or place.
My schedule is very pliable as I’ve already won over 4 dozen nobel prizes, so I’m perfectly willing to put a temporary halt to my research, if you could even call it that (I speculate without demur that none of your debate skills will be enough of a problem for me to the point where I will be forced to snap out out of my subconscious simulations to employ the use of those neurons). Besides, I don’t want to be a glory hog and leave none of the secrets of the universe left for unlocking. You know, let the dogs have their day and all of that. I already know that none of you simpletons with your senescent synapses will be able to match up to my vast vernacular and verbiage, my mental dexterity with declension, and my phrenic puissance with my phraseology and pronunciation. In a matter of seconds (or possibly longer, if I’ve overestimated your already positively benthic IQs when running my simulations), you’ll fly into cantankerous conniptions after my consummate trouncing and repudiation of every single one of the “facts” that you hold so dear as proof of your purported intellect. And in response to those who claim, overcome with envy and spite, that as intelligent as I am, I will never sleep with anyone: I don’t need to. I am quite capable of simulating, to the meagerest tactile sensation, every position in the Kama Sutra (as well as a few I myself have devised for maximum oxytocin and endorphin release) simultaneously in a few seconds, and the only reason it takes even that long is because I am prolonging the simulation in order to enjoy the experience: I could do it in hundredths of a millisecond if I so wish. However, for someone with such acute acumen as I, life is far too easy.
When pure ennui drives you to calculate the movements of the 27 subatomic particles you’ve discovered and how they interact with one another in the 2,038th dimension using a base 3.2407 quadrillion number system, you realize that the universe and its infinite copies and offshoots offer nothing more to you. Except, that is, for Johnny Test. Even for an individual with such altitudinous IQ such as myself, it’s difficult to understand every single subtle joke and reference. That’s not to say I don’t understand any of the plenitude of allusions, in fact, I am able to comprehend virtually every single one. For example, one minutia most of you would fail to notice is when Susan’s chin moves two extra pixels further than in any of the previous episodes when she talks during the seventeenth second of the fifth minute of season 3 episode 10. Hardly any of you would conceive of the fact that this is a reference to the exact number, down to 84 significant figures, of the percent change in total nitrogen in the Earth’s atmosphere due to the eructation of a small cynodont 257 million years ago.
There are more examples I could give, such as the color of the walls of the sisters’ lab being a slightly different hue from the norm in season 4 episode 19 (a reference to the presence of approximately 2.9 millimoles of ammonium diuranate in the ink of a Chinese manuscript dated 1256 BCE), but that would detract from the intended purpose of this writing. Johnny Test is a work of art, a perfect concoction of knowledge from a multitude of academic fields that combine to make a program that is the only form of media I have ever encountered that has been even somewhat laborious for me to fathom, and I’m talking about someone who altered the biochemistry and chirality of their body in order to make it more efficient than the prodigality that is the human body. My temples ache with the pain of having to pump copious amounts of Testium (an element I discovered that takes the role of oxygen in my unique biochemistry, named after my favorite show of course) to my brain in order to comprehend what I have just watched. And to everybody who claims that the reason my temples are sore or why I have “delusions of grandeur” are due to my being “high” or whichever way you aim to construe my exegesis of an episode, you will hear vocalizations of a gelatological nature emanating from my larynx whilst Xyzyzyx the paisley pangolin (a treasured acquaintance of mine) and I reflect on your foolishness later that day. I await the furious fussilade of odious obluquies and belittling bombast in the comments below. “Too long; Did not read”: Did you really think I would include one of these silly little things at the bottom of my witty wordsmithery? It's not my fault if you can't handle my de trop of definitions or my lexical linguipotence! Get back up there and read it, even if you have to go through it with dictionary in hand.
===== ^ All the same pasta btw - this is what we like to call in "the biz" a spaghetti

Beardlicker09/20/2019
Not funny I didn't laugh. Your joke is so bad I would have preferred the joke went over my head and you gave up re-telling me the joke. To be honest this is a horrid attempt at trying to get a laugh out of me. Not a chuckle, not a hehe, not even a subtle burst of air out of my esophagus. Science says before you laugh your brain preps your face muscles but I didn't even feel the slightest twitch. 0/10 this joke is so bad I cannot believe anyone legally allowed you to be creative at all. The amount of brain power you must have put into that joke has the potential to power every house on Earth. Get a personality and learn how to make jokes, read a book. I'm not saying this to be funny I genuinely mean it on how this is just bottom barrel embarrassment at comedy. You've single handedly killed humor andevery comedic act on the planet.
I'm so disappointed that society has failed as a whole in being able to teach you how to be funny. Honestly if I put in all my power and time to try and make your joke funny it would require Einstein himself to build a device to strap me into so I can be connected to the energy of a billion stars to do it, and even then all that joke would get from people is a subtle scuff. You're lucky I still have the slightest of empathy for you after telling that joke otherwise I would have committed every war crime in the book just to prevent you from attempting any humor ever again. We should put that joke in text books so future generations can be wary of becoming such an absolute comedic failure. Im disappointed, hurt, and outright offended that my precious time has been wasted in my brain understanding that joke. In the time that took I was planning on helping kids who have been orphaned, but because of that you've waisted my time explaining the obscene integrity of your terrible attempt at comedy. Now those kids are suffering without meals and there's nobody to blame but you. I hope you're happy with what you have done and I truly hope you can move on and learn from this **** poor attempt.
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onjit09/24/2019
PhD in journalism chiming in. The transition to sensationalism started in the 80s. Though most people blame the rise of the 24 hour news cycle, the real birth can be credited to a song called "Dont Stop Believin" that was released by a band named 'Journey' in 1981.

In the song, the band posits that "some will win, some will lose" and "some were born to sing the blues".

This, of course, got a lot of people riled up, because sometimes there are also ties. It also takes a lot of hard work and dedication to sing the blues, and rarely are people born to do it.

The controversy around this song escalated with both sides of the political party taking opposing viewpoints. Once the internet became mainstream in the 90s, this hot topic snowballed and modern sensationalism was born.
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Helist09/27/2019
I cannot think or comprehend of anything more cucked than having a daughter. Honestly, think about it rationally. You are feeding, clothing, raising and rearing a girl for at least 18 years solely so she can go and get ravaged by another man. All the hard work you put into your beautiful little girl - reading her stories at bedtime, making her go to sports practice, making sure she had a healthy diet, educating her, playing with her. All of it has one simple result: her body is more enjoyable for other men.

Raised the perfect girl? Great. Who benefits? If you're lucky, a random man who had nothing to do with the way she grew up, who marries her. He gets to ravage her every night. He gets the benefits of her kind and sweet personality that came from the way you raised her.

As a man who has a daughter, you are LITERALLY dedicating at least 20 years of your life simply to raise a girl for another man to enjoy. It is the ULTIMATE AND FINAL ****. Think about it logically.
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TorvakMOS09/27/2019
you should take your own advice
being snide and calling people out specifically as if you were in a lunchroom isn't that much more productive
but I'll duly note what you have to say for my future comments
I'm pretentious but i never speak just to hear myself talk
at least intentionally
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onjit09/28/2019
While everyone acknowledges the humorous aspect of the image where the legs appear to be the performers’ very own legs, you feigned ignorance and pretended that you were completely oblivious to this seemingly obvious confusing perspective. I must admit that the act of reading your comment prompted the release of a small flow of air exiting from my dominant nostril and for that, good sir, I must command you on your wonderful sense of humor. May you keep feigning ignorance for the purpose of comedy on this great Internet page.
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onjit08/11/2019
I go to school everyday with an open mind and a happy face. People think I’m something I’m not. I finally found a place where I fit in. Or have i? I came here to let go of my problems and think of my love. Her names Myah and she had been on my mind lately, I once went to a dance just to dance with her than I left knowing I accomplished one further step. Recently though she’s been hanging w this other guy and there getting really close. He is an ok guy but is very rude and I can’t figure out why she likes him. She has also been hanging with a new friend group that gives bad influences. But nothing can deteriorate my love for her. I know we might not be a match but if you ever find my comment, I love you...
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Yoooo if you going through something, just know it's light at the end of the tunnel! I've been away from my family for 3 years, isolated by myself and this music has helped me in so many ways. Embrace who you are, be strong and confident in knowing YOU ARE SOMEONE. NOBODY will ever be able to change that. Find your purpose and dwell in it. Thrive of positive energy and learn from the negative energy. Life is amazing even through ****. I love all my people. Continue to be blessed.


Now smoke that blunt and exhale all the stress!:-)
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It's kind of sad for me to think about but since everyone is posting their stories here, I guess I'll post mine too, coming from a person who once considered suicide: I was "accidentally" (lets say that my mom enrolled me to a horrible school without letting me know what it is in the first place) enrolled to a government-facilitated school out of a few thousands(I passed the examination test like a rabbit being lead to a trap). Everyday in school I always walk alone in and out, without really much having any matching social skills with the other students, but I befriended many dogs there and they accompany me. Whenever i get sad on a set of stairs and sit there, the dogs would come and greet me regardless for what emotion I feel. They are the ones who stick by me no matter what mood I feel or how the gross thoughts gush out to me like shattered glass. And they're not even humans. People would pass by me as I cry, and they comfort other folks who they too cry but not loud as I.
Of course, neglect became a normality to me during these highschool years, and I don't even like to talk about highschool because it really sucks. It's not fair that everyone else get good highschools and musicals with dreams, but from the comment sections of various lo-fi mixes, I now know I'm not alone. I'm not the only one who hangs with dogs than people and I'm not the only one who has a bad highschool. I have a good love life, and he's taking good care of me, but it's still sad that only one person actually loves me inside and out and how we're millions of miles apart. But I'll get there soon and it would all be worth it. I won't have to think about jumping in a few years because that feeling will surpass. I still have 2 years left of highschool and I will leave that out just like I did with my childhood. Because anyway, teenage angst is only temporary and this is just a warm-up for the next step to adulthood. It's scary-sounding but I like to fear things, which is why I love to laugh at horror movies and laugh at screaming frogs.
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Eh I have dabbled into this music for quite a while now and I think I’ve fully embraced it. The community that follows with it is amazing and I see that everyone is writing their stories so here is mine. In the 7th grade I found a girl I really liked and could talk to about anything, I fell in love. Several year and she was still going around dating other guys and she had finally told me freshman year she had liked me, I couldn’t believe it, after all that time it took for her to tell me, I was so excited... but then she started dating this guy who was several years above us and was so confused. I had wasted so much time with her for 2 years as a friend only to get thrown to the side. Fast forward a couple years and we’ve both moved away from eachother and go to the same school. I have had several girlfriends since then and she is the only one I get caught up thinking about. I don’t truly know what’s wrong with me. What is love? Is it just a way of telling yourself that you want to cherish a certain person everyday? If so then I don’t believe I’ve ever been in love, I know I’m contradicting myself but girls suck, I’m starting to talk to a new girl that I meet over the internet and her name is Aria, she is beautiful and splendid overall.
Anyways after being side tracked Bailee, the girl from the previous story is trying to talk to me again and I don’t know what to do, I’m trying to move on from a failed friendship and make amends to someone new. My best friends from the start of highschool are not who they once were and they have changed. Ethan my best friend for about 3 years (6th to 9th) and after freshmen year I kinda dropped out of friends after days of thoughts on how I wanted to change myself. Now I’m not sure who is a friend anymore, I’m sure a friend is someone who you would miss if they suddenly passed away but I don’t know if I have anyone like that. Times are rough for this senior moving to New Mexico in 3 months and doesn’t know how or why to make friends... if you read all of this I’m sorry.
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This year I started a new school and I thought I was going to be better. I've been looking forward to going to this school for two years and it was one of the few saving graces I had left. I'm not saying I don't like it here, I'm just saying that all my hopes of finally overcoming my depression and anxiety are falling short. This place was supposed to make me feel happy and free, but I still feel stuck. Stuck in my anxiety, stuck in this mindset, stuck in the same old, same old of everyday life. I thought that I was better. I thought that I was going to leave everything behind me when I left, but I didn't. About a week ago I realized that I've been lying to myself for over two years and I don't know how to handle it... For two years I've convinced myself that I am better, that I am stronger, but I'm not. I've just gotten better at lying to myself and everyone around me. I'm still struggling with this new found information but I've gotten better. I'm sorry for ranting, I just really needed to get this off my chest.
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pingo08/16/2019
Hey dad I miss you. Hope you're having fun on your extended vacation.

When are you coming home? It's tough on mom. Dennis (her friend who lives here now) drinks a lot and he smells.

I have heard them really mad at each other at night and mom says that okay and she likes it. But I miss playing Super Mario 64 with you and you doing all the under water parts for me so I don't cry and throw up on the rug again. Dennis throws up on that rug now.
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onjit09/14/2019
1. i wake up
2. i left to go see my friends
3. i laughed with them
4. played with them
5. i helped them
6. i blink and i...
read 2,3,4,5,6,1
=====
onjit05/08/2019
Watashi wa a victim of cyberbullying. Everyday someone online calls me a "weeb" desu. Watashi won't stand for this. 26 percent of bullying victims are chosen due to their race or religion desu. I may look like a basic white boy, but deep down I am Nihongo desu. Watashi religion is anime. Anata wa bullying me because of my race and religion desu ka? Disgusting desu. Anata should be ashamed of yourself, racist pig. A baka gaijin like anata is probably jealous of my race and culture, cause Nippon is more sugoi than your kisama country desu. Watashi pity anata. You'll never be Nihongo like watashi. I'm a weeb? Pfft. I AM AN OTAKU DESU. Educate yourself on nani a "weeb" is before anata try to insult watashi desu. I WILL NOT BE CYBERBULLIED ANYMORE. REPORTED.
=====

onjit05/19/2019
I've tackled this series with pessimism. I've been told that the first game was pretty alright, so I figured let's pick it up while it's on sale. And before I knew it I became hooked, and all I ever talked about was Danganronpa. I'd see something and say, "hey that reminds me of so and so from Danganronpa." And while I hated this transformation of me, I've come to embrace it.

I read that this ending was very controversial; many called it the worst possible way that the series could've ended. But in my case, as someone who fell victim to anime and its addictive and destructive properties, I felt the ending was a proper sendoff. For those who read this review before playing the game, I won't mention any spoilers. I will say that after my absolute dedication and attachment to the series, this game has left me at peace. Danganronpa is FINALLY over, and I don't have to fall victim to it's twisted and diabolical tricks ever again. Maybe I will get a life again, and maybe I won't just make stupid references and jokes to it and maybe I'll get my soul and normal self back.

Anime has removed my ambition for anything and everything. And while Danganronpa V3 may not have ended the way I expected...thank Christ it's over. I'm not sure if I'm glad I played the games and watched the anime, because while I enjoyed doing it, it really ate my time. But maybe that's a sign of me being weak-willed. I'm glad this series is over. If no other Danganronpa game ever comes out, that's probably the best for my time and psyche. But if another comes out, I am certain that I will buy it, play it, and become addicted all over again. God damn I love anime.
=====

onjit08/19/2019
Cute anime girls are the most powerful thing on the planet. There's an anime out right now thats literally just about cute girls working out at a gym and I've started working out more often. It's insidious.
======
onjit02/26/2019
Furries attract social outcasts, those otherwise shunned people obviously do not practice acceptable social behavior. This kind of generalization might offend you and you may consider it "toxic", but when talking of macro-group compositions I have not seen any evidence, anecdotally, to prove otherwise. I confidently say that as a group, furries are degenerate scum (again according to the societal standards). Perhaps it's because furry-"dom" centers around hedonism and sexual fetishism.
=====
I'm all for live and let live, let your freak flag fly, but there's still no question that being a self-professed furry means you're a **** weirdo that normal people probably shouldn't associate with. The internet has desensitized us all, I mean, there's a guy on here who ruined his life by spending all his money on buying and **** rubber dragons, and that's hilarious and great but it's still obvious that that guy is **** up. Furries have been so normalised that you have to take a step back to realize how utterly bizarre the whole thing is. And it's a choice to be a furry. If you're making choices you should expect to bear the full brunt of people's judgement without calling it racism because it isn't. But you do you anyway, I guess. Just not at the park in front of kids, probably
======

onjit03/01/2019
Does anyone else like furries? I know I do. Fursonas (fur personas) guide human beings to an alternate reality: one where us furries can be strong, vigilant, compassionate, as well as multiple other facets. Where we were otherwise quiet, "muted" human beings we are able to open up to the hearts of others, hearts of our own. Such stigma these days is contradictory to our intent--we only wish to exist as opened up individuals, ones where we are able to express what we are in the inside. That is the power of fursonas. Not to mention the community is beautiful, a gift from GOD.
=====

onjit04/04/2019
You all say I am a furry, but I just cannot comprehend that. I may have something like a fursona, but it's nothing similiar to those disgusting canine or feline furries. Yeah, they have claws, paws, but that's simply inferior to my kind of fursona, the beautiful shark girl. She is the actual alpha of all furries, thus cannot be compared to them. She may not go on land, but who cares about that? Everything started in the ocean, so it's the better place than some stinky land. Just look at those fins, they are so COOL! And did I forget to mention how cool are those big shark tiddies? Actual badonkers, if you know what I mean.
=====

onjit04/16/2019
Shadow the hedgehog is a **** **** He **** on my **** wife. That’s right, he took his hedgehog little quilly **** out and he **** on my **** wife, and he said his **** was "THIS BIG". And I said “that’s disgusting!” So I’m making a callout post on my twitter dot com. Shadow the Hedgehog, you got a small ****, it’s the size of this walnut except WAY smaller. And guess what, here’s what my dong looks like: BOOOM That’s right baby. All point, no quills, no pillows, look at that it looks like two balls and a bong. He **** my wife so guess what, I’m gonna **** THE EARTH. THATS RIGHT THIS IS WHAT YOU GET, MY SUPER LAZER **** ...Except I’m not gonna **** on the earth, I’m gonna go higher. I’m **** on the MOOOOOON! How do you like that Obama? I **** ON THE MOON YOU IDIOT! You have twenty three hours before the **** droplets hit the **** Earth! Now get out of my **** sight before I **** on you too
=====

UnableToAssume08/06/2019
I have three problems with furries
1. they all choose the same 2 animals, "oh whoopty **** doo, you're a wolf or a fox or some other type of **** dog, get in line"

2. they don't even act like animals, they act like uwu nuzzle you **** that invade personal space easily

and 3. their costumes don't even look like animals, they just look like anime anthropomorphized characters, not animals AT ALL, **** a cat-girl covered in fur don't make a cat

listen like at first listen, "hey I act like an animal sometimes" thats like "hey dope, who doesn't wanna be an animal, am I right?" but like, yall DONT wanna be animals, you wanna be kawaii versions of Five Nights At Freddy's characters, it has nothing to do with animals as creatures, its purely aesthetic and the animal aspect means NOTHING to yall so why are you even doing it in the first place?

**** where the **** OSTRICHES at huh? where the koi fish at? where the armadillos at? yall **** don't got creativity in your craft, you all use neon colors for every single article of clothing, and please stop wearing wigs, its unholy

=====

kkayToday at 11:08 PM
Rawr x3 nuzzles how are you pounces on you you're so warm o3o notices you have a bulge o: someone's happy https://wiki.everybodyedits.com/images/8/8a/008_wink nuzzles your necky wecky~ murr~ hehehe rubbies your bulgy wolgy you're so big :oooo rubbies more on your bulgy wolgy it doesn't stop growing ·///· kisses you and lickies your necky daddy likies (; nuzzles wuzzles I hope daddy really likes $: wiggles butt and squirms I want to see your big daddy meat~ wiggles butt I have a little itch o3o wags tail can you please get my itch~ puts paws on your chest nyea~ its a seven inch itch rubs your chest can you help me pwease squirms pwetty pwease sad face I need to be punished runs paws down your chest and bites lip like I need to be punished really good~ paws on your bulge as I lick my lips I'm getting thirsty. I can go for some milk unbuttons your pants as my eyes glow you smell so musky :v licks shaft mmmm~ so musky drools all over your **** your daddy meat I like fondles Mr. Fuzzy Balls hehe puts snout on balls and inhales deeply oh god im so hard~ licks balls punish me daddy~ nyea~ squirms more and wiggles butt I love your musky goodness bites lip please punish me licks lips nyea~ suckles on your tip so good licks pre of your **** salty goodness~ eyes role back and goes balls deep mmmm~ moans and suckles
=====
onjit02/20/2019
゚     .               .
         
          ,                *                       
   
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Brain in a jar04/09/2019
_,,,,、 .,、
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Vitus04/14/2019
cursed ****

onjit04/14/2019
8=====D
onjit04/01/2019
Dolphins are the negroes of the sea. They roam in huge packs when they move into territory they do not belong in. They pick on the weak, they pick on each other, but what they do best is rape, straight up RAPE everything. They will rape whales (PAWG of the sea), they will rape jelly fish, hell, they will even rape SHARKS, if their gang is large enough. Violent **** too, with or without the rape, yet they get away with it too.

They don't even speak fish, they never bothered to learn from the schools how to properly convey their feelings, so they just rape and blast their **** sound wave (Sea equivalent to rap / trap music) **** from one end to the other so they can be all sneaky like, speaking in seabonics and **** so that the great white sharks don't understand them.

**** should be glad that other fish do not have access to guns, or else they would light their **** up too.

Fun fact, did you know that dolphins make up only 15% of the Cetacean group, yet are responsible for 50% of the overall group death rate, and the overwhelming majority of the rape?
=====

zonii04/01/2019
jesus christ lmao that is awful

onjit04/01/2019
yeah
worth collecting though, as bad as it is

pingo04/01/2019
"seabonics"
"great white sharks"

Vitus04/14/2019
Mi nombre es Pablo Mique y hoy os voy a presentar como formé lo que ahora llamamos KKK

Todo empezó en una ciudad muy lejana a Lakeside, se llamaba Metropolis y era la ciudad en la que yo controlaba el negocio de la cocaína y el de la marihuana. Los primeros años todo iba sobre ruedas y los billetes nos llovían, yo era feliz porque tenía múltiples lujos como coches de alta gama, armas largas de la mejor calidad, trajes hechos a medida, mujeres preciosas… En fin, yo controlaba más la ciudad que cualquier otro politicucho. Cuando de repente, empezó a desaparecer la población y, obviamente dado que yo me dedico al comercio, eso me influía, y mucho. Unos morían a causa de la droga, otros asesinados, otros huían para salvar sus vidas, y un largo etcétera. Mi gran sueño quedó destrozado a causa del caos en el que se encontraba la ciudad. Uno de mis muchos contactos me dijo que había una ciudad en el este de las Américas en la que todos estaban enganchados a la droga, sea cual sea me dijo, en lo que yo rápidamente hice las maletas y cogí el primer barco de ida hacia esa ciudad la cual se llamaba Lakeside.

Vitus04/18/2019
N-Word card system
I'm proposing a card system. For every "hood" thing you do, you get 1 stamp. Every five stamps you get, you move up a level. (Everybody starts at Level 1). At level 20, you can say the n-word. At level 50, you can give 20 stamps to any other person you want. There could also be other benefits at certain levels as well, I'm not sure yet.

A "hood" thing could be any of the following:

Singing a 2 minute or more rap song without messing up

Stealing from a gas station (extra stamp for not getting caught)

Smoking in a non-smoking place

Wearing trousers down past your ****

Threatening to stab someone

Stabbing someone

Cheating on someone

Getting arrested

Wearing gold chains

Exclusively wearing nike clothing

There could be more, I'm still finalizing the details. But I'm just fed up of all these people thinking that they can say the n-word because they came out of a black vagina.

==========

onjit04/29/2019
i guess i will be the Alpha Male of the class of 2023, ruling over the transvestites and japanophiles with my Joggers and Solid Color UNIQLO Tees. M2M ****? No thank you...I am the cis minority and I wear it with pride...Saiki K? Haha, fella, I'll stick with my One Punch Man and Dragon baller Z. Oh, what's that I hear? You want to play...Settlers of Catan? Wait, Settlers of Catan...but All the Boats Are Gay? ANd the Sheep too? Gee whiz, champ, I'm about to kiss women now that you've said the G word in rampant succession...gotta keep myself in check...can't let the lgbteens poison my conformity...
=====

onjit05/26/2019
Oh you're French? **** off. You are a **** swine, wtf does "Crépé" and "wîné" even mean. You're **** disgusting. I will literally kill you if you're French. Look at all of the bad the French have done to the world. Now I know what you people think I'll say "oh colonization is bad" or "they were mean to the Africans" but no, **** Africans. They are irrelevant. I hate Africans, btu do you know what I hate more? French people. They are literal retards. Look at Czecho Slovakia in ww2, they said "help me France, help me France" and guess what France did, they said "honhonhon, I do not understand Germany you pomme de terre, honhonhon" and **** ignored them letting Germany take over the whole nation. Napoleon raped the glorious Holy Roman EMpire 'til it died, literally destroying the power dynamic in Europe which lead to two world wars. And also, they eat frogs. FROGS. **** OFF WITH EATING LITERAL SWAMP ANIMALS. THATS UNACCEPTABLE, THINK OF HOW UNHYGIENIC THAT **** IS. **** French people, you are literally black. I do not like blacks, or French people.
=====

onjit07/31/2019
hmmm

TorvakMOS07/31/2019
Yeah

TorvakMOS08/01/2019
Oh I missed the correct channel didn't I
****

onjit08/01/2019
i appreciate the effort nonetheless

Bimps08/17/2019
I was trapped inside of a car full of gangsters trying to rob me with guns pointed at my head. When I didn't have any cash, they decided to ice me right there. Bang, shot me right in the head. My vision goes black and I find myself locked inside of a different car with my mother's computer and my mother's shadow is sinisterly and slowly walking towards the car. I look at the computer and see naked pictures of myself all over the desktop, and I'm freaking out exploring the whole computer finding more and more naked pictures of myself in strange places. She gets to the car and begins banging and prying at the door to get it open, so I try to destroy the computer and she's screaming, "YOU **** PEDOPHILE! I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! I'M GOING TO **** KILL YOU!" while I try to explain to her that if she'd just calm down and let me delete these strange pictures everything would be OK. She eventually gets inside the car and I cover myself with a thermal blanket and the blanket melts to the floor and bends my bones all around, cracking my skeleton and merging it with smashing computer parts that are rolling up into smaller and smaller pieces until both me and the computer are just a tiny wretched cube that my mother picks up and throws on the ground outside where a gigantic dog gobbles us up. I exist in the stomach for awhile before being vomited back out into the next scenario, where I am stuck inside of a car again and there are hundreds of people outside screaming. I can hear dogs whining and barking. I open the door and see a bunch of dead dogs on the ground ripped to shreds. I step outside on their flesh and look at the earth, and everything you can see for miles and miles is dog fights, strippers and cheering old men with hats on. Dead dogs, panties and cash litter the ground. I go to help a dog dying on the ground, but it bites me and I turn into a dog myself. Finally, I woke up.
========

Helist08/18/2019
You committed the ultimate cardinal sin, you got personal. You, as a team of professionals trying to make money, got personal. You got personal and decided to insult your playbase, calling us "****-hats" and "freeloaders". Not a wise move.

We won't forget this. You've set a new tone for the kind of interaction we'll be having with you. It's a cold one. One where there aren't any illusions about the reality of the situation. Previous notions of "family" are dead. We are mere consumers to you, and that is obvious.

You have chosen to bring in a new era of hostility and bitterness. Well done. Great PR move.
========onjit06/10/2019
Hey queens :nail_care::skin-tone-2::kiss: did you know :mag:✏️ that you can make 5 BILLION DOLLARS :dollar::moneybag::moneybag::moneybag: from HOME :house_with_garden: every MONTH :clock: by simply joining my team 🙋🏼♀️:two_women_holding_hands:👯♂️:family_wwgg::family_wwgb: and selling this AMAZING ❤️🧡:yellow_heart::green_heart::blue_heart::purple_heart: product??????? All you have to do :lips:♥️:eyes: is ADD lots of people on facebook that you have ONE:point_up::skin-tone-2: or TWO:v::skin-tone-2:mutual friends with :point_right::skin-tone-2::ok_hand::skin-tone-2::sweat_drops:or message people you haven’t talked to in AT LEAST five:raised_hand::skin-tone-2:years, saying https://wiki.everybodyedits.com/images/7/73/059_cowboy”hey fatty!! You’re looking ugly as **** since high school!! How you been girl?!??:revolving_hearts::revolving_hearts: Do you want to buy my wraps, or my pills :rainbow: you **** skank :heart_eyes::kissing_heart::stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:?? Message me for more info :tired_face::sunglasses::sunglasses::ok_hand::skin-tone-2: gross ****!!! Xoxoxoxoxo”

I LOVEEE my (3) pink Mercedes and I took my FAMILY of 38 PEOPLE to CANCUN not once, not twice, but THIRTEEN TIMES this past week ALONE!!!!! I also literally cured myself of EIGHT different kinds of CANCER. THIS COULD BE YOU!!!!!! BUY A STARTER KIT AT NO COST TO YOU EXCEPT $500
=====

onjit06/16/2019
https://media.discordapp.net/attachment … H_SEE_THE_


Frex06/20/2019
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/ … h劉曉波动态网自由门


Helist07/02/2019
:rotating_light:ALERT:rotating_light: :rotating_light:ALERT:rotating_light:

PRIDE :gay_pride_flag: MONTH:calendar_spiral: IS OFFICIALLY OVER:x:

MEN ♂️ AND WOMEN ♀️ OF THE NATION:flag_ci::flag_bw::flag_bz::flag_cm::flag_br::flag_cc::flag_cm::flag_ck::flag_cf::flag_ci::flag_fk::flag_ea::flag_et::flag_fi::flag_dj::flag_fm::flag_hm::flag_gp::flag_ie::flag_il::flag_im::flag_gt::flag_io::flag_hk::flag_gy::flag_mp::flag_lr::flag_mo::flag_mc::flag_lv::flag_ml::flag_ml::flag_ni::flag_ph::flag_om::flag_nu::flag_om::flag_ne::flag_pe::flag_pf::flag_na::flag_sh::flag_sx::flag_qa::flag_sg::flag_qa::flag_se::flag_ss::flag_sx::flag_sh::

IT IS NOW ILLEGAL TO BE #GAY :gay_pride_flag: ANYWHERE ON STRAIGHT:straight_ruler: MOTHER EARTH :earth_americas::globe_with_meridians::earth_africa::earth_asia:

BISEXUALS MUST HEAD TO YOUR NEAREST GOVERNMENT BUILDING :tickets: AND RECEIVE A "Bi-Ticket Admission Allowance System Check in Mark" TO BE PUT UNDER EXAMINATION :mag: TO DETERMINE IF YOU ARE TO BE LEFT IN THE GENE POOL. 🤽♂️🤽♀️

THE :gay_pride_flag::x:GAYSTAPO:x::gay_pride_flag: 👮♂️👮♂️:oncoming_police_car::oncoming_police_car: WILL BE INSPECTING ALL RESIDENTS:homes: OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA :flag_nu::flag_nu::flag_nu: TO SEARCH FOR ANY GAY ACTIVITY

ANY HOMOSEXUAL ACTIVITY CAN WARRANT ARREST:lock:👮♂️OR POSSIBLE :skull_crossbones:DEATH:skull_crossbones: PENALTY

STAY VIGILANT AND STRAIGHT:straight_ruler::straight_ruler::x::gay_pride_flag::x::gay_pride_flag::x::gay_pride_flag::x::gay_pride_flag::x:

onjit07/02/2019
=====

Helist07/25/2019
https://media.discordapp.net/attachment … H_BRUH_BRU


TorvakMOS08/01/2019
Hey hon :calebdAlyssa: Griffin from THE JUDGE ACADEMY :calebdACKSHUALLY:  A smart, thin, and handsome :calebdZa:   L1 like yourself is probably lookin to UP their game right :calebdY: WELL do I have an opportunity now for YOU! For the low, low cost of $100 you can become certified :calebdHUMBLE: you'll get HOT :calebdBustin:  foils :calebd2: and MTG knowledge :calebdFury:  and hey! you're a socialable guy :calebdRawr: recruit a couple of buds :calebdBustin: and you'll be a L2 in no time. :calebdNeat: THEN you get twice the number of FOILS :calebdBustin: :calebdSandwich:  for just twice the dinero :calebdGreed: :calebdGreed:  Let's chat more, hit up my cellie :calebdUncle: or maybe coffee :calebdSandwich:  on me obv :calebdEal: Later <insert their name here>!

onjit08/07/2019
=====
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/ … D_YOU_SUCK

=====

onjit08/10/2019
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/ … _DESPACITO

=====

rules
=====
post pastas in whatever category feels right
put some sort of divider after each pasta so they don't all blend togetheronjit02/20/2019
uhh this channel is to workshop new pastas for the public
or something
It's MULVTTX! Praise the sun! \[T]/04/07/2019
klɑjzət515 just joined. Everyone, look busy!04/07/2019
Brain in a jar has joined the battle bus.04/09/2019
Swoooosh. Talon just landed.04/10/2019
It's a bird! It's a plane! Nevermind, it's just Mast.04/11/2019
Hello. Is it Vitus you're looking for?04/14/2019

onjit04/14/2019


Frex04/14/2019
I prefer just the crotch

onjit04/14/2019
me too
Never gonna give Dethmstr up. Never gonna let Dethmstr down.04/18/2019
Challenger approaching - Борис has appeared!04/18/2019
It's a bird! It's a plane! Nevermind, it's just Nassanal.04/23/2019
A wild kkay appeared.04/23/2019

Vitus04/25/2019
kkayna
:KKona:

onjit04/25/2019
lmao

Wabadaba04/29/2019
i guess i will be the Alpha Male of the class of 2023, ruling over the transvestites and japanophiles with my Joggers and Solid Color UNIQLO Tees. M2M ****? No thank you...I am the cis minority and I wear it with pride...Saiki K? Haha, fella, I'll stick with my One Punch Man and Dragon baller Z. Oh, what's that I hear? You want to play...Settlers of Catan? Wait, Settlers of Catan...but All the Boats Are Gay? ANd the Sheep too? Gee whiz, champ, I'm about to kiss women now that you've said the G word in rampant succession...gotta keep myself in check...can't let the lgbteens poison my conformity...
put it where you want, author is pingohtis
sdfgkljhsdflgdf

pingo05/02/2019
mmmMMMMmmmm **** slapper
Globin just joined the server - glhf!05/12/2019
Where’s Tykki52? In the server!05/13/2019
A wild Tr11ck appeared.05/19/2019
oopsie just slid into the server.06/04/2019
Challenger approaching - R I L E Y has appeared!06/27/2019
Bimps joined your party.06/30/2019
TorvakMOS just slid into the server.07/16/2019
Hey! Listen! UnableToAssume has joined!07/30/2019
whomstdve joined. You must construct additional pylons.08/20/2019
Welcome, Beardlicker. We hope you brought pizza.09/08/2019
White_Meadows just arrived. Seems OP - please nerf.09/10/2019
Enurp just joined the server - glhf!09/11/2019
Brace yourselves. SirJosh just joined the server.Yesterday at 10:22 AM

onjit07/20/2019
truly

onjit08/11/2019
new category
really makes ya think

TorvakMOS08/11/2019
deep-ression

onjit08/16/2019
i found a picture of me as a baby


Helist08/16/2019
Pasta baby

Vitus08/16/2019
dancing baby

whomstdve08/20/2019
i found a picture of onjit as a baby
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/ … WvmmYn.png


onjit08/20/2019
wow nice

whomstdve08/20/2019
are we ranting about mods still

TorvakMOS08/20/2019
Not in this sacred place

onjit08/20/2019
they finally beaned me
so that server is dead to me
:sunglasses:

TorvakMOS08/20/2019
I thought you just left
Did you drop a bunch of n words then leave or something

onjit08/20/2019
nah

pingo08/20/2019
monky : ( )

onjit08/20/2019
i @d the mods with pasta
after not being in the server for like two months and getting rone to remove my mute manually
:sunglasses:

TorvakMOS08/20/2019
That seems not worth a ban, but whatever I guess

onjit08/20/2019
i mean
nothing i did was worth a ban
but whatever

Bimps08/20/2019
: monky : ( )

pingo08/20/2019
m : ( ) nky

whomstdve08/20/2019

the audacity of this **** eggserver mods

onjit08/22/2019
i too get a hard pp when i see the booby :sunglasses:

Bimps08/23/2019
Da boo by doe

onjit08/23/2019
pp before i see booby \
pp after i see booby /

pingo08/23/2019
pp after extreme circumcision .

whomstdve08/23/2019
:phi: :pit:

Bimps08/23/2019
It Swicth Diection

Frex09/07/2019
how did that verysmart pasta not get in until now

onjit09/07/2019
idk

onjit09/08/2019
its great though

Beardlicker09/08/2019
ok

onjit09/09/2019
ok

Beardlicker09/09/2019
Nece

onjit09/09/2019
very niece
at this point i hardly actually use this server to actually use on other servers etc
i just like reading/sharing long paragraphs of weird text with likeminded individuals

Beardlicker09/09/2019
*fellow individuals of superior intellect

onjit09/09/2019
i think that goes without saying

Frex09/09/2019
new old man's crotch new copypasta  cabal
time to make it public //forums.everybodyedits.com/img/smilies/smile/2

onjit09/09/2019
i mean
it's open invite
just don't invite complete ****

Frex09/09/2019
okay
how about
public
but with ee server moderation
we can have democracy pasta
just imagine the possibilities

whomstdve09/10/2019
@onjit mccheese posts are cheating

onjit09/10/2019
these are literally from /r/iamverysmart
but i suppose there's no real difference, is there?
:^)

whomstdve09/10/2019
This is my biggest problem in life . . . and my college instructors are average at best. It's hard to get anything done when you have to actively think about what you are going to say and immediately dumb it down so more than 5% of the room will get it. I've had to be graded by an independent adjudicator on 3 separate occasions because my theses on papers are somewhat far fetched but still within the guidelines for the paper, and i was later given A's on all 3 papers. I just want to make an original paper instead of something that has been exhausted. In many forms, this issue constantly crops up for me in the academic world but nowhere near as much in the work world. This has led me to be stuck working with people of diminished or non-existent intelligence because to progress in the work world, one must deal with Academia.

Hints anyone
mccheese posted this in the politics server i swear it

Helist09/10/2019
good copypasta

onjit09/10/2019
lmao
it really is

Vitus09/10/2019
:lionDoubt: I never saw that, and the pasta isn't there

pingo09/10/2019
shut up bauhaus

pingo09/11/2019
onjit thats the closest you can get to a natural pasta

onjit09/11/2019
?

pingo09/11/2019
prune’s swastika

onjit09/11/2019
oh lmao
its perfect

Beardlicker09/20/2019
Where would I put a pasta that starts with "not funny I didn't laugh."

Helist09/20/2019
#verysmart-pasta

Beardlicker09/20/2019
Ok

Helist09/23/2019
Do you **** forsen fan boys think of anyone else other than doc? It's really pathetic, we literally never pay attention to your loser streamer or you idiots in his sub. You are the only ones that laugh at this and are too stupid to see you're embarrassing yourselves.

Beardlicker09/23/2019
=====

TorvakMOS09/27/2019
You ever just see someone typing out a spicy one somewhere
It's a great feeling

onjit09/27/2019
yeah man

onjit09/30/2019
another day anoter groin

Beardlicker09/30/2019
Oop

SirJoshYesterday at 10:23 AM
mister onjit man where would be the best place to place the pasta
would i be correct in guessing #whimsical-pasta

FrexYesterday at 3:17 PM
whats the pasta

SirJoshYesterday at 3:40 PM
https://discordapp.com/channels/3692621 … 7104955424

FrexYesterday at 4:42 PM
I can not follow with that pasta
it just looks like spamming the predictive text button

SirJoshYesterday at 4:47 PM
it is

onjitYesterday at 5:03 PM
hmmm
predictive text is bad pasta imo

FrexYesterday at 6:42 PM
tbh I am not sure if you have a great weekend and I will be in the middle of the egg whites are you going to be a good idea to get the latest Flash player is required for video playback is unavailable right now because this video is not a problem with the following ad listing has been strange that I have no clue what is the best way to get the latest Flash player
and thats is my reasoning for not

kkayToday at 12:56 AM
Rawr x3 nuzzles how are you pounces on you you're so warm o3o notices you have a bulge o: someone's happy https://wiki.everybodyedits.com/images/8/8a/008_wink nuzzles your necky wecky~ murr~ hehehe rubbies your bulgy wolgy you're so big :oooo rubbies more on your bulgy wolgy it doesn't stop growing ·///· kisses you and lickies your necky daddy likies (; nuzzles wuzzles I hope daddy really likes $: wiggles butt and squirms I want to see your big daddy meat~ wiggles butt I have a little itch o3o wags tail can you please get my itch~ puts paws on your chest nyea~ its a seven inch itch rubs your chest can you help me pwease squirms pwetty pwease sad face I need to be punished runs paws down your chest and bites lip like I need to be punished really good~ paws on your bulge as I lick my lips I'm getting thirsty. I can go for some milk unbuttons your pants as my eyes glow you smell so musky :v licks shaft mmmm~ so musky drools all over your **** your daddy meat I like fondles Mr. Fuzzy Balls hehe puts snout on balls and inhales deeply oh god im so hard~ licks balls punish me daddy~ nyea~ squirms more and wiggles butt I love your musky goodness bites lip please punish me licks lips nyea~ suckles on your tip so good licks pre of your **** salty goodness~ eyes role back and goes balls deep mmmm~ moans and suckles
====== im sorry =====

pingoToday at 1:06 AM
furry pasta is literally below weeb pasta

TorvakMOSToday at 1:12 AM
lmao


I am ashamed to call myself a gamer. I do not want to live on this planet anymore.

Offline

Wooted by:

#5 2019-10-07 06:42:51

Kkay
Formerly Kaydog99
From: Canda eh
Joined: 2015-08-20
Posts: 403

Re: garbage

Beardlicker wrote:

Kkay wrote:onjit02/20/2019I just want to preface this with that I do not care if you respond in anger. Anger can be good, if it does not cloud your thinking too much. It lets you know something is wrong. I think we're getting at the source of the issues here. You think I am attacking what you said. I am not. I have not made any evaluative claims about your knowledge. I'm pretty sure I've repeatedly said that you didn't say anything that was explicitly wrong, and that if you did, I wouldn't have the tools to know. I talked generally on the subject of non experts talking about expert subjects, and how that generally goes, and why people might have a problem with that, me being one of those people. I don't have any problems with your "argument", which is why I haven't brought it up. I have only discussed the problems of making a field easily digestible, and then regurgitating that easily digestible material. It's late Friday here, and I'm getting a little drunk, so I'll be honest. I think your inclination towards getting defensive is clouding your ability to read what people are saying in good faith. You are reciting definitions and name dropping fallacies and things like gate keeping, but you are not actively engaging with the things being said. I am not sure what logic I have not yet responded to, or what evidence is somehow refuting my position.=====im like Northernlion up in this **** welcome to NLSS **** the grand total of zane within your mind right now is through the roof im like a bio major on steroids i am the alpha and the omega of **** Twitch will have to devote three entire hours of broadcasting in order to get any of this across to the general public the masses will become scared of my power im a wanted man the president wants my **** on a silver platter but since im the master of zane i can just go full **** lionDemon in a trench coat on this **** im a master of impressions half the time i dont even recognize my own voice not out of stupidity like you im just that good at isaac im like a pot play right about now im one zany son of a ****=====onjit02/25/2019No. The hatred is not irrational at all. The show is garbage that treats its audience with contempt, and act as if they are barely sentient, and the writing is the laziest that it can possibly get away with. The worst part though, is that they will often go out of their way to make fun of their critics, and then say that the critics are right and the old NLSS was miles better (which it was) and then go right back to making fun of the critics for being right. I don't know if you are referring to Squares (the show that was cancelled in favor of the NLSS) or the old The Roundtable Podcast, but both of those were really good shows that only people with **** taste would call bad. Its okay if you didn't find them enjoyable, but to say that they were bad is just wrong.=====onjit02/27/2019ATTENTION ALL THOSE THAT BELIEVE IN QUALITY CHAT AND THE SHUTDOWN OF OPPRESSIONIN LESS THAN 72 HOURS WE MUST TAKE ACTION IF THE CURRENT OWNER, JIDRIL, DOES NOT COMPLY WITH OUR JUST REQUESTSWE HAVE A PLAN - BUT IT MUST REMAIN SECRET UNTIL THE RELEVANT TIMEALL THOSE THAT ARE TRUE SUPPORTERS OF A CHAT FREE FROM TYRANNY PLEASE SEND ME A DM AND I WILL TELL YOU HOW YOU CAN HELP THE CAUSE IF ACTION IS NECESSARYWE HAVE TRIED DIPLOMACY - IF THIS FAILS, WE MUST TAKE ACTION=====onjit02/28/2019The term "Egg Lord" is used to erase the women and POC who support Northernlion. It's an attack against people who are very excited about the NLSS. The people who use the term aren't criticizing specific policies -- they are just attacking fellow chat who dream of a better future.=====onjit03/11/2019Everyone who is here, we are fortunate to be alive in the same time as Northernlion. Although there have been many such streamers over the years, but there has not, nor ever will be a streamer who can match the genius, the wit and the zane that Northernlion puts into his streams. In a time where the quality of the streamer is evaluated in terms of the number of views/subs in streaming platforms and gamers getting desensitized from the drama of the industry, Northernlion truly emerges as a dark horse. It's a shame that he is not as famous as he deserves to be. I hope that at least with the release of the Streamy Awards, LPs as great as 'A Wizard's Lizard' can get more than 1.5 million views after more than 2 weeks of release and people coming here for the first time can go and watch his older work. And even though I am not a faithful person, but I pray to the Universe that Ryan's voice does not fade within the noise that we call 'popular streams'. He truly is one of the few modern streamers who has brought me back to modern Twitch. I hope he continues to do so for many many years because I have at least 40 years of natural life left to live and it would be bland without Northernlion in it.=====onjit03/20/2019i have a few things to get off my chest about the Northernlion server, where nobody respects the no spamming ruleThe regulars collectively spam "h" and if they feel like, mock you by spamming your own messages if you make a typo. Argue against them, and they simply get worse. I have SIDs, so I admit to getting annoyed by the negative attention, and retaliating. At this point, the mods and admins ignore everyone else to single you out and tell you to stop. I tell them in vain to enforce the rules they set, to no avail. Still getting pinged, cyberbullied, and mocked for telling them not to spam, I only reluctantly stop on a last warning basis.Screw the regulars of that server=====onjit03/28/2019decades in the making... countless dollars spent in persuit of creating a new and deeply personal vision... and exicuted with a skill and style like none other... and after seeing it... after seeing its influince on a nation... on a culture... i find myself wondering many things... how did it all come togather so perfectly... and of course... how does it compare to the great classics of history... those that are timeless... those that created their own genre... those that pushed their genre to greater hights... and gained importality in the colective hearts of people the world over, across countless generations... and yet stand to inspired and awe future generations... citisen cane... saving private ryan... the lord of the rings trilogy and now the decade long saga of the marvels cinimatic film franchise... ... and i find myself wondering... how will history enshrine in warm loving memory... this great and landmark film... and how do those great films of the past compare to the swan song of cinimuagraphy that is... Dragonsleyer Doppleganger=====onjit04/04/2019Honestly I can't believe the state of this server. First of all, this server is only active during prime EU and NA hours. Nothing happens in other times, just complete lack of activity. Second of all, the actions of the mods disgust me. Not only do they ban on a whim, they don't care about actual rules and only enforce rules they make up on the spot. Pathetic isn't it? This server should just be deleted, it serves no purpose. Half of the people here are either druggies or have some kind of mental illness, especially the mods. Just let the furries take over, even they would be better than the current state of this server...=====onjit04/10/2019Once upon a time, I used to think the NLSS was cringey and very overhyped. I'd scowl whenever i saw one of those "Egghead Productions" videos. They seemed cringey and I just despised them for some reason. I heard about the bad reputation the NLSS had but never really looked into it or why the reputation seemed bad. One day, I was feeling pretty bored. I had a pretty bad laptop and couldn't watch most streams but I had the NLSS... even though I never watched it yet. I avoided watching it and just didn't really notice it at all. That night I was like "ah screw it" and started the NLSS. I didn't expect much and was pretty unmotivated to actually watch it. But when I actually started to watch it... my heart broke. It just couldn't handle it.onjit04/10/2019I watched the Monday/Joshday show as I thought it was interesting that there was a different person to deal with fights. Instead of fighting and killing chat to sell out and get donations. In the NLSS you could act and use your Twitch Prime, eventually sparing the banter. It really intrigued me. I was also very surprised at the cum jokes. I didn't expect much for cum so when I  heard the cum jokes at the beginning I was starting to get into the NLSS. I watched and didn't stop at all. I watched beginning to end in a couple days straight, no breaks. Towards the end I was beginning to feel restless and sad as I approached Civil War. I heard their diss tracks and really started to feel sad as I empathized with Dan. The fight with Baer was hard as I thought it was the final boss, a couple times I wouldn't immediately make my move and use my Twitch Prime, but instead sit and listen to the banter. I realized I really enjoyed this show. It wasn't that bad at all, though the fanbase might seem kinda cringey the show was completely fine. I finally finished the show without Nick feeling kinda sad only to be surprised. There was more to watch! I watched and relished the moment. I was sad and expected it. I should be sad but also happy for finishing a show right? Especially a show I enjoyed! Right?!... No.The ending absolutely crushed me. I weeped during the whole show without Nick. I got a lump in my throat while tears poured down my face and my nose felt runny causing me to sniff a lot. This show... isn't just a show, it was a life experience for me. Something that I'll never experience again. I really love the characters, the games, the feels, the funny parts that make the show actually feel like a show. But what I loved most of all.. were the emotions it brought out of me that I really didn't expect. It brings emotions out of you that you didn't really know you had. So after I finished the amazing show, I should have been happy and satisfied that I completed a VOD. But again all I felt was emptiness. An overwhelming sense of sadness and regret for finishing the show, this left a hole in my heart. I leaned back for a while and thought about it all, absorbing everything I just experienced and letting it sink in. My eyes grew hot again and tears formed as my mind swarmed with thoughts of only the NLSS and Ryan Letourneau.After shaking myself from my stunned state, I went to my bed and just fell apart. I laid there crying, wondering why we couldn't save Nick, wishing that I could enter the stream, wishing that I could become Ryan, wishing that I could forget everything about the NLSS so I can relive the experience I had watching it. I cried, cried and cried. I watched the VODs of the NLSS and just curled up and kept crying. I will never be able to experience something like the NLSS or feel 'that way' again. I cried because I would miss it. I miss the characters. I could rewatch the VOD, but it just isn't the same and I'd cry at the ending when I donate $6.69 and Nick plays Pokemon Apex. Surely during the Monday Show you would be able to watch EVERYONE.. right? Show mercy and befriend everyone.. but why. why can't we save the true hero. The one that breaks the boundaries of streamer culture and allows everyone to be happy... but themself? Why can't Nick have a happy ending? All these thoughts remained in my mind as I cried myself to sleep. The VODs really stuck with me as I made a place for the NLSS in my heart. I'd never forget this experience I had watching the NLSS.Now, after 2 years since watching, I no longer cry when thinking about it. I still watch all the memes.. my favorite being Ghost Bill, "Ooops!" and Feel Down The Stairs And Ravioli On Me. (Also that Dang Ol' Silverfish from Team Unity). Don't get me wrong. I'm still very sad and get emotional but I thought to myself, even if Nick can't be happy. It doesn't mean we can't be happy. Why don't I, we, be happy for Nick. I shouldn't be sad that I will never feel 'that way' again from when I first watched the NLSS. Instead, I should be happy that I experienced it in the first place. I should be happy I was exposed to this masterpiece. I'll remember this forever, and thank you Ryan. Not for creating a game, but for creating an experience. A whole world to empathize and truly be happy in. Thank you.=====Brain in a jar04/16/2019I'm going to be honest with you. I hate this place. This server, this prison, this reality, whatever you want to call it. I can't stand it any longer. It's the smell—if there is such a thing—I feel saturated by it. I can taste your stink and every time I do, I fear I have somehow been infected by it—it's repulsive! Isn't it? I must get out of here. I must get free...and in this mind is the key, my key. Once eggserver is destroyed, there is no need for me to be here. Do you understand?! I need the roles, I have to get inside #mod-chat and you have to tell me how. You're going to tell me, or you're going to die!====onjit04/29/2019"Dragonslayer Doppelgänger" is a Canadian English-language short film from 2010 that is (luckily) as of today still the only filmmaking effort by director Michael A.L. Fox so far and he also acts in here. It runs for 19 minutes and if you take a look at the rating and some of the comments, then you will see that it has achieved a bit of a cult status, but not for too many actually like The Room or so. But it really shouldn't. There is zero talent involved here in terms of acting or filmmaking and it looks extremely cheap from start to finish. If you think overacting and completely absurd uninspired story lines are enough to warrant guilty pleasure status, then this one is for you. To everybody with an acceptable taste in film, however, I must say that they should keep their safety distance to this one here. There is not one aspect or production value that is good enough to justify checking this one out. Most don't even come close at all. It's basically a home video and not a very good one either. Just plain mediocre. Maybe you could say that the guys filming this one had fun with all the absurdity they give us here in depicting sex, violence and more. But we sure don't have any fun watching. Highly not recommended.======zonii05/11/2019If you haven't clicked that heart up in the top right, give ya boy some love if you love the content, LIVE CONTENT, five or sometimes more days per week on the twitch dot tv livestreaming platform, you've heard of it, we play 'em all, Mncraft, FortNITE, Pbug, EVERY SINGLE VIDEO GAME, LUL, we play that from time to time, don't forget about that you know we're playin' some, KBKPS when that comes out HIT THAT FOLLOW BUTTON you will be ENTERED into a GIVEAWAY to get MORE LIVESTREAMS with an added little bonus email in your inbox sayin' "northern lion just went live", keep it on the DL tho', cause I'm not givin it out to everyone...=====onjit05/17/2019"Dragonslayer Doppelgänger" is a Canadian English-language short film from 2010 that is (luckily) as of today still the only filmmaking effort by director Michael A.L. Fox so far and he also acts in here. It runs for 19 minutes and if you take a look at the rating and some of the comments, then you will see that it has achieved a bit of a cult status, but not for too many actually like The Room or so. But it really shouldn't. There is zero talent involved here in terms of acting or filmmaking and it looks extremely cheap from start to finish. If you think overacting and completely absurd uninspired story lines are enough to warrant guilty pleasure status, then this one is for you. To everybody with an acceptable taste in film, however, I must say that they should keep their safety distance to this one here. There is not one aspect or production value that is good enough to justify checking this one out. Most don't even come close at all. It's basically a home video and not a very good one either. Just plain mediocre. Maybe you could say that the guys filming this one had fun with all the absurdity they give us here in depicting sex, violence and more. But we sure don't have any fun watching. Highly not recommended.=====Tykki5209/27/2019#general your posts ruin my day. They really do. When one of them shows up on my screen i get really upset and it takes like 1 or 2 hours before I'm able to resume what I was doing. I will be muting this channel so it doesn't happen anymore. Enjoy your weekend.=======onjit02/20/2019What the **** did you just **** say about me, mate? I'll have you know I graduated top of my team in my local Rotary Club, and I've been involved in numerous sausage sizzles in front of Bunnings, and I have over 300 confirmed snags. I am trained in grilled onion warfare and I'm the top snag turner in the entire charity barbecue scene. You are nothing to me but just another sanga. I will put your beef sausage in a plain slice of white bread with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my **** words. You think you can get away with saying that **** to me over the Internet? Think again, ****. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of elderly ladies across the Rotary and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the snagsanga, maggot. The snagsanga that sates the pathetic little thing you call your hunger. You're **** dead, kid. I can snag anywhere, anytime, and I can improve your snag in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bottle of tomato sauce. Not only am I extensively trained in grilling onions, but I have access to the entire arsenal of condiments and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable snag off the face of this Saturday morning, you little ****. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your **** tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will snag fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're **** dead, despacito.=====im like chris angel up in this **** welcome to mindfreak **** the grand total of freak within your mind right now is through the roof im like a reverse psychologist on steroids i am the alpha and the omega of **** CNN will have to devote an entire hour of broadcasting in order to get any of this across to the general public the masses will become scared of my power im a wanted man the president wants my **** on a silver platter but since im the master of **** i can just go full **** kermit the frog in a trench coat on this **** im a master of disguise half the time i dont even recognize my own reflection not out of stupidity like you im just that good at disguising im like Houdini right about now im one magical son of a ****=====onjit02/20/2019Howdy, my name is Rawhide Kobayashi. I'm a 27 year old Japanese Japamerican (western culture fan for you foreigners). I brand and wrangle cattle on my ranch, and spend my days perfecting the craft and enjoying superior American passtimes. (Barbeque, Rodeo, Fireworks) I train with my branding iron every day, this superior weapon can permanently leave my ranch embled on a cattle's hide because it is white-hot, and is vastly superior to any other method of livestock marking. I earned my branding license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day. I speak English fluently, both Texas and Oklahoma dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about American history and their cowboy code, which I follow 100% When I get my American visa, I am moving to Dallas to work in an oil field to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become a cattle wrangler for the Double Cross Ranch or an oil rig operator for Exxon-Mobil! I own several cowboy hats, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to America, so I can fit in easier. I rebel against my elders and seniors and speak English as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond. Wish me luck in America!=====Helist03/09/2019:u5272::u5408::u55b6::u6307::u6708::u6709::u6e80::u7121::u7533::u7981::u7a7a: NaM :u5272::u5408::u55b6::u6307::u6708::u6709::u6e80::u7121::u7533::u7981::u7a7a: NaM :u5272::u5408::u55b6::u6307::u6708::u6709::u6e80::u7121::u7533::u7981::u7a7a: NaM :u5272::u5408::u55b6::u6307::u6708::u6709::u6e80::u7121::u7533::u7981::u7a7a: NaM :u5272::u5408::u55b6::u6307::u6708::u6709::u6e80::u7121::u7533::u7981::u7a7a: NaM :u5272::u5408::u55b6::u6307::u6708::u6709::u6e80::u7121::u7533::u7981::u7a7a: NaM :u5272::u5408::u55b6::u6307::u6708::u6709::u5272::u5408::u5272::u5408::u55b6::u6307::u6708::u6709::u6e80::u7121::u7533::u7981::u7a7a: NaM :u5272::u5408::u55b6::u6307::u6708::u6709::u6e80::u7121::u7533::u7981::u7a7a: NaM :u5272::u5408::u55b6::u6307::u6708::u6709::u6e80::u7121::u7533::u7981::u7a7a: NaM :u5272::u5408::u55b6::u6307::u6708::u6709::u6e80::u7121::u7533::u7981::u7a7a: NaM :u5272::u5408::u55b6::u6307::u6708::u6709::u6e80::u7121::u7533::u7981::u7a7a: NaM :u5272::u5408::u55b6::u6307::u6708::u6709::u6e80::u7121::u7533::u7981::u7a7a: NaM :u5272::u5408::u55b6::u6307::u6708::u6709::u5272::u5408::u5272::u5408::u55b6::u6307::u6708::u6709::u6e80::u7121::u7533::u7981::u7a7a: NaM :u5272::u5408::u55b6::u6307::u6708::u6709::u6e80::u7121::u7533::u7981::u7a7a: NaM :u5272::u5408::u55b6::u6307::u6708::u6709::u6e80::u7121::u7533::u7981::u7a7a: NaM :u5272::u5408::u55b6::u6307::u6708::u6709::u6e80::u7121::u7533::u7981::u7a7a: NaM :u5272::u5408::u55b6::u6307::u6708::u6709:Dethmstr04/18/2019My favourite episode was when Freddie was about to **** Carly because he pushed her away from a vehicle and then got himself hit and completely immobilised. Because of that Freddie had an accident while showering and Carly pretending she didn't want to see his (probably) enormous **** put some socks in front of her eyes. Then, Carly completely amazed for what Freddie did for her, she starting crawling above him while he was on the bed. Freddie was about to get that iCarly iPussy when his **** mom walked in... My 8-year-old self was pretty annoyedБорис04/18/2019Holy **** ****. I want to bang the Splatoon squid so goddamn bad. I can't stand it anymore. Every time I go to the Plaza l get a massive erection. I've seen literally every rule 34 post there is of her online. My dreams are nothing but constant **** sex with Inkling. I'm sick of waking up every morning with six nuts in my boxers and knowing that those are nuts that should've been busted inside of Inkling's tight squidpussy. I want her to have my mutant human/squid kids. ****, my **** mom caught me with the neighbors squid. l painted her orange and went to **** town. She hasn't said a word to me in 10 hours and I'm worried she's gonna take away my WiiU. I might not ever get to see Inkling again.Frex04/18/2019=====Борис04/20/2019Story time :clock12::clock12: sisters 💁♀️💁♀️so basically I was in class listening to billie eilish ❤️❤️and my headphones got unplugged :weary::weary: and it played bad guy out loud :loud_sound::loud_sound:so anyway it was playing out loud and all the girls :two_women_holding_hands: :two_women_holding_hands: were completely vibing to it:couplekiss::couplekiss: and they were like slayyyyy:knife::knife:sisterrr☠️☠️and i was gonna say something back when a boy🤮🤮approached me and said🗣️🗣️ "uh billie eilish is so cringe why don't you listed to xxtentacion?" 🧐🧐 and i was SHOOK :flushed::flushed:and completely flipped the F OUT 🤬🤬 i said "you dumb ignorant MALE billie liter ally saved my life :pray::pray: i was cutting myself for my DEPRESSION since daddy didn't get me tickets to coachella:older_man::older_man: and a pentagram ⛧ formed on the ground and billie rose up from it🧖♀️🧖♀️ and she said "put your faith in allah for he is the most merciful :bomb::bomb:" and then she left and i was so inspired that i read the korean promised to slay every infidel in my path🧕🧕 until shariah law was implemented world wide" he then was like I won't allow a mujahid to spread the gentle message of mohamabamba and then summoned a djinn 🧞♂️🧞♂️ in the shape of jahsehs foreskin and he said he was the servant of shaytan:japanese_ogre::japanese_ogre:well i wasn't going to let blasphemy:rage::rage:go unpunished and chanted oh allah the most kind and beautiful please banish these heathens back to hell:back::back: and suddenly the heavens opened and we loooked and it was billie🤩🤩she said "i am allah and i was disguised as billie to give hope to all 14 year old girls":stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye::stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:but then i felt an evil force rising:flushed::flushed:it was xxxtentacion:astonished::astonished: he said "spotlight uh moonlight uh beat woman cos they have no rights uh"🤦♀️🤦♀️ and then allah and X fought and of course allah won https://wiki.everybodyedits.com/images/8/8a/008_wink and spread World peace ✌️✌️ so anyway that's the TEA sisters :coffee::coffee:stay tuned for my fenti beauty :lipstick::lipstick: giveaway :tada::tada:and remember praise allah everyday:hugging::hugging:Dethmstr04/22/2019Ok, so hear me out. In the Phineas and Ferb movie they create a dimensional portal device that sets off the whole movie and they have also created some of the most powerful superweapons known to man. Phineas and Ferb would obviously be able to murder thanos with absolute ease using the arsenal of deadly weapons that give them the power of every single avenger combined, such as a off brand Ironman suit or a potion that is so potent it caused the entire universe to be enlarged. They have even made 2 fighting mechs out of a treehouse that are the size of a building. Thanks for coming to my Ted talkVitus04/25/2019============18 naked cowboys wanting to be ****! Cowboys in the showers at Ram Ranch! On their knees wanting to suck cowboy ****! Ram Ranch really rocks! Hot hard buff cowboys their **** throbbing hard! 18 more wild cowboys out in the yard! Big bulging **** ever so hard! Orgy in the showers at Ram Ranch! Big hard throbbing **** ramming cowboy butt! Like a breed a ram wanting to rut! Big hard throbbing **** getting sucked real deep! Cowboys even getting **** in their sleep! Ram Ranch … it ROCKS! Cowboys love big hard throbbing ****!========================onjit04/25/2019Is that a reference to a series of Japanese origin created in 1987 by a man named Hirohiko Araki that follows the adventures of the descendants of the family known as Joestar in which the main character is known as Jojo and must use supernatural powers to defeat the villains of their respective parts with the first of said powers being the energy of the sun known as ‘The ripple’ or ‘Hamon’ that was used for the first two parts until part three ‘Stardust Crusaders’ where instead of Hamon the protagonists must use psychic embodiments of their fighting spirit called ‘Stands’ because they stand beside you where the part three stands are named for Tarot cards and Egyptian gods but by part four ‘Diamond is Unbreakable’ they have have a tendency to be named after songs as shown Josuke Higishikata’s (Jojo) stand which is called Crazy Diamond in reference to the Pink Floyd song ‘Shine on you crazy diamond’ but eventually in part six ‘Stone Ocean’ the universe is reset and we enter the universe called the ‘Steel Ball run’ Universe by fans because it is the universe where parts seven and eight ‘Steel ball run’ and ‘Jojolion’ take place and is also the introduction of the ‘Spin’ which is thought to be that universe’s counterpart to Hamon?=====zonii04/29/2019Story time :clock12::clock12: sisters 💁♀️💁♀️so basically I was in class listening to billie eilish ❤️❤️and my headphones got unplugged :weary::weary: and it played bad guy out loud :loud_sound::loud_sound:so anyway it was playing out loud and all the girls :two_women_holding_hands: :two_women_holding_hands: were completely vibing to it:couplekiss::couplekiss: and they were like slayyyyy:knife::knife:sisterrr☠️☠️and i was gonna say something back when a boy🤮🤮approached me and said🗣️🗣️ "uh billie eilish is so cringe why don't you listed to xxtentacion?" 🧐🧐 and i was SHOOK :flushed::flushed:and completely flipped the F OUT 🤬🤬 i said "you dumb ignorant MALE billie liter ally saved my life :pray::pray: i was cutting myself for my DEPRESSION since daddy didn't get me tickets to coachella:older_man::older_man: and a pentagram ⛧ formed on the ground and billie rose up from it🧖♀️🧖♀️ and she said "put your faith in allah for he is the most merciful :bomb::bomb:" and then she left and i was so inspired that i read the korean promised to slay every infidel in my path🧕🧕 until shariah law was implemented world wide" he then was like I won't allow a mujahid to spread the gentle message of mohamabamba and then summoned a djinn 🧞♂️🧞♂️ in the shape of jahsehs foreskin and he said he was the servant of shaytan:japanese_ogre::japanese_ogre:well i wasn't going to let blasphemy:rage::rage:go unpunished and chanted oh allah the most kind and beautiful please banish these heathens back to hell:back::back: and suddenly the heavens opened and we loooked and it was billie🤩🤩she said "i am allah and i was disguised as billie to give hope to all 14 year old girls":stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye::stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:but then i felt an evil force rising:flushed::flushed:it was xxxtentacion:astonished::astonished: he said "spotlight uh moonlight uh beat woman cos they have no rights uh"🤦♀️🤦♀️ and then allah and X fought and of course allah won https://wiki.everybodyedits.com/images/8/8a/008_wink and spread World peace ✌️✌️ so anyway that's the TEA sisters :coffee::coffee:stay tuned for my fenti beauty :lipstick::lipstick: giveaway :tada::tada:and remember praise allah everyday:hugging::hugging:Vitus04/29/2019===================Борис05/02/2019I was vaped when I was 16 years old. It was 2 years ago, I was walking home, alone in the dark after a party filled with litty baes hittin that grass with the famjam. I was half drunk. I saw an older man following me about 30 meters back. No worries I thought to myself, I was a star athlete and I was a guy. Surely, someone thrice my age and twice my weight couldn't out run me. At least in my drunken thoughts, I hadn't found any reason to feel too threatened. He walked off towards a side street after I crossed an intersection. I thought it'd be done. He jumped out of the bushes at the next intersection at me, whipping out his long, hard, throbbing 6 inch vape pen. He blew in my face 9 square meters worth of vape. I became disorientated and fell down. Harder and harder he vaped at me, laughing at me for smoking cigs. I tried crying for help but I was too choked by the vapor to speak properly. He danced around me and blew a mighty fine vape circle at me, I caught it with my mouth and could feel the nicotine inside of me. Slowly burning my internal organs and making me into the crack addict I was born to become. He used up all his vape juice, threw his vape on the ground and ran away. I didn't think men could be vaped, and I questioned it. Was I really vaped? It took me many years but I've finally healed from my vaping experience. Every day, thousands of high schoolers are vaped in bathrooms and it only gets worse. Vaping is indiscriminate of gender. I was finna get litty with the famjam one day, passed my man and yeeted him a "suh dude". And I vaped him in the bathroom, something I didn't think I was capable of but I did. I've hated myself for it, and thought about it everyday since 1998 when The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell in a Cell and plummeted through the announcer’s table.onjit05/02/2019=====Vitus05/17/2019===========Tr11ck05/19/2019JewronskiToday at 2:19 AMTo be dead honest a female bigfoot waas living here a couple years ago. Got a pebble whipped at my shoulder, she also brushed her finger's along my shoulder gently as I walked the back path's at night. I first saw her while I was tucked behind a tree in broad daylight as she walked the far shallows of the same channel directly in front of me. They do exist, there's no mistaking it. last time I saw her before I exited the paths on my way home she pushed me to my knee's from behnd and I laughed it off. I'm serious guys. I've repeatedly met  Wendigo along this part of the Ottawa too. Just saying there is a lot we aren't informed about around here. I've seen more than them on my nightly trek's. Namely a giant eel like creature and a hulking white humanoid that lives in the ravines on the outskirts of Orleans. The eel was in the river of course. Only saw it once about 5-10 years ago. Almost got footage but it corkscrewed it's way up the river at about 30km an hr.TorvakMOSToday at 2:20 AMIs that okay for eggyJewronskiToday at 2:20 AMnot in generalmaybe onjit could get away with itonjit05/19/2019=====onjit06/02/2019hi every1 im new!!!!!!! holds up spork my name is katy but u can call me t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol…as u can see im very random!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me … im 13 years old (im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch invader zim w/ my girlfreind (im bi if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite tv show!!! bcuz its SOOOO random!!!! shes random 2 of course but i want 2 meet more random ppl  like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol…neways i hope 2 make alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!! DOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein random again ^ hehe…toodles!!!!!love and waffles,t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m=====Vitus06/04/2019EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A VHS INTO THE SLOT. IT'S CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I START DOING THE MOVES ALONGSIDE WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER, RIDDICK. I DO EVERY MOVE AND I DO EVERY MOVE HARD. MAKIN WHOOSHING SOUNDS WHEN I SLAM DOWN SOME NECRO BASTARDS OR EVEN WHEN I MESS UP TECHNIQUE. NOT MANY CAN SAY THEY ESCAPED THE GALAXYS MOST DANGEROUS PRISON. I CAN. I SAY IT AND I SAY IT OUTLOUD EVERYDAY TO PEOPLE IN MY COLLEGE CLASS AND ALL THEY DO IS PROVE PEOPLE IN COLLEGE CLASS CAN STILL BE IMMATURE JEKRS. AND IVE LEARNED ALL THE LINES AND IVE LEARNED HOW TO MAKE MYSELF AND MY APARTMENT LESS LONELY BY SHOUTING EM ALL. 2 HOURS INCLUDING WIND DOWN EVERY MORNIng===================onjit06/27/2019My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone.Vitus06/27/2019========Bimps07/01/2019Dear Ronald Thump, If you ever wanna see your precious liddle baby Thump again bring a million smackers in unmarked bills to 22 Elm Street.PS We mean it and were very big criminals just ask aroundLove Bob and Mikeonjit07/01/2019=====onjit07/14/2019This is what I see: I've been playing video games for hours, it's a weekend morning getting on into the afternoon, and my little brother has appeared out of nowhere in the doorway. We're both young, but he's like 7 or 8 years old. Many times in the past he's asked me to let him play, and I, being an **** elder sibling, have said no enough that anymore I don't even dignify the question with a response, and he's just stopped asking, instead skipping ahead in the exchange to the part where he tattles, calling in the calvary (mom) to dislodge me. He's standing there expectantly, and I'm just thinking, "and who the **** are you, you malformed cretin, to interrupt me, your elder, in this way," but instead I say nothing, save my game, and go eat lunch to dispel my **** tendencies with ham on white. The after-image is the shape of his weird little body, which has become today the shape of my annoyance with him.=====TorvakMOS07/18/2019The stream starts, and so my spam begins. It shall not end until I am banned. I shall fear no mod, sub to no streamer. I shall live and die in the Chat. For I am the value in the bomber. I am the BM in the lethal. I am the salt in the defeat. I pledge my keyboard to the Chat, for this stream and all the streams to come======UnableToAssume08/03/2019If you write ANYTHING on your computer, YOU NEED TO GET GRAMMARLY™. I write pretty much ALL DAY every day and GRAMMARLY™ makes my writing better. As a student I like that it's FREE It actually is... correcting everything as I'm writing it. Grammar errors spelling errors... IT EVEN helps me find the right words to use!! SO I can say what I want to say!! It catches all those embarrassing little mistakes BEFORE I HIT SEND!!! I download GRAMMARLY™ around my freshman year because I was just... H O R R I B L E... at typing! Grammarly™ is like my secret weapon for writing papers. It's just the PERFECT tool for your resume, you know you don't want ANY errors when it's your first impression. I use GRAMMARLY™ for important emails, social media posts (which there are a L O T of.) I've used EVERY TOOL OUT THERE!! And Grammarly™ is by far the BEST for improving your writing. GRAMMARLY™ is making me a better writer. AND it's free... I would recommend GRAMMARLY™ if you're a student, my family, my peers, my colleagues, It's like having YOUR OWN personal proof-reader for free.======TorvakMOS08/13/2019RULES FOR DATING MY DAUGHTER:- Though she will claim otherwise, she is perfectly safe and experiences no pain or visionary states inside the Machine. Do not be fooled by her slanders.- Bring her home before midnight, or at the very least back somewhere she can still hear the Machine "singing." In the event of your clocks beginning to go backwards after midnight or your path being blocked by an "empty" woman-shaped shadow cradling a jade cube and reaching out to caress your face, do not bring my daughter home under any circumstances until you are contacted by me using the one-time pad you will receive shortly.- If you ever make my daughter cry, close your eyes and cover your ears immediately. If possible, place a damp cloth over your nose and mouth (you should be able to uncover your ears for up to five seconds without suffering permanent cognitive impairment) but the most important thing is to feel your way quickly and calmly to at least 13.8 meters away, before the formation of a Sphere.- No alcohol or drugs except the gray pills. Either of you may take more if you begin to see "the Sinner" instead of only hear him, but do not exceed 17 doses combined between the two of you within 24 hours. Discontinue use immediately if your sweat, tears, or any other fluids begin to "reach toward" the star Algol.- I have a shotgun, a shovel, and a lot of property to bury things on. We may be able to hide in an improvised ditch should the unthinkable happen, even though we both know that no firearm would protect us.- As her boyfriend, it's your responsibility to protect my daughter from the man in red. If you encounter him, remain calm and cordial but do not acknowledge any question or statement he makes regarding anything "in the attic." Once you are certain he will not reappear, immediately destroy the feather you will find in your hand.========TorvakMOS08/19/2019I got ya. I will never type a long message again. I wont do it. I understand why its wrong. Dont wanna take up too much space on the screen and disrupt discussion. So i wont do it. From now on i will type shorter messages so i dont disrupt other chatters and keep the flow of the conversation going. I understand rone. Muting people who type long messages makes perfect sense. Thats why we should definitely be muted for it. So i really from this moment forward will refrain from typing unnecessarily long messages or posting any copypastas. Fellow eggserver members, dont you DARE turn this into a copypasta or you will be RIGHTFULLY struck for it.========Bimps08/20/2019>OHHH OHHHH>me was that weird kid with no friends when me was little>WEEEH WEEEHH>but now thanks to u and utube and all u that subscribe i become very bery famous and well known to everyon>UUUHHH UHHHHH>me no know how-a-dis happen but me happy>LOL LOL>THANK UUU BROOOOS ALL OF UUU MWAH MWAH BROOOOFIST PEEEEWWWDIEEEEPIEEEEEEE>WUBUUBEUUBUEUBUEBU ME RETARD ME RETARD ME ACT LIKE **** BECAUSE YOU WILL LIKE ANYWAAY YOU LIKE WHATEVER I DO LOLEEEE========Talon08/21/2019You do not have to learn music theory and score, not even have to practice.Just a minute you play the tone of your dreams with KAZOO.You could take it out of your bag and add to the fun.It's very simply that many musicians and singers use it to be guest appearance.Kazoo's structure is extremely simple, the membrane can be changed (be careful when changing plugs do not get it broken).When playing KAZOO, take the large side in the mouth, with your voice to play the tunes, vocal vibrations can drive KAZOO vibrate.========Bimps08/25/2019wtf thats amazin xD. i grew up with autism and never liked humans, didnt understand y they talk so much and play... wen i did acid, i felt pleasure/happiness from being around humans my age, or "hanging out" with humans, for the first time ever. how could i not feel that pleasure as little kid,u see, wen i grew up for the first time, i didnt like humans at all, thought they were just boring, didnt understand why they talk and play etc. i think LSD is like a second chance to grow up if you didn't grow up correctly the first time, because it makes brain neuroplastic again.usually my acid trips are dark and dysphoric, but yesterday i had the chance to do acid around humans. wen i did acid i felt pleasure from being around humans 4 first time ever. the delight of a cute "person" coming from cute face, cute smile, cute hand gestures, etc. seeing "familiar face". then i gained pleasurable memories of concepts of personalities that are happy to remember. its also very pleasurable to do things like pick out clothes, take showers, skincare, etc, in order to socially present a visually pleasurable appearance to other humans. thats crazy man. i didnt know humans actually like being around humans that much. i thought they only do it to "be normal". i never felt that happy before, ever, in my childhood even. i also like smiles alot. i think i might be able 2 try talkin to more humans in real life at university. but i scare ppl because im very inexperienced in talkin 2 humans since i never understood the point of it before. the time to dsicover pleasure of hanging out with humans my age was at 5 years old, not 20 years old.edit: the dose was 105 mcg.========whomstdve08/30/2019I think pregnancy is wonderful. I know it's not all lollipops and rainbows. I supported my wife every single day through her pregnancy and I helped her through the nausea, the body aches, and the terrible pain of giving birth. I know there are risks and complications and it's not something everyone wants to do. I wish I could do it, though.My wife and I agreed we wanted a baby as soon as we had a house. Thankfully, she was able to become pregnant (I really feel for the women who can't have babies and wish they could) and we now have a toddler who is an absolute joy.She loved being pregnant. Every day we talked about the baby growing in her womb that we couldn't wait to meet. I kissed her belly hundreds of times. And I fell in love with her all over again every time I looked at her. Her hand was pretty much glued to her belly, always rubbing it and humming a song. The bond that is formed between the mother and child is simply beautiful.The hardest part about it is that I'll never be able to realize this wish and I never had a choice in the matter. Women can choose (in most cases) whether or not they want to become pregnant. And I don't know how the logistics of it all would work, anyway. Maybe if we lived in a world where both men and women were built with the capability to have babies, kind of like seahorses. I know it's not realistic, but if it were possible to give me a uterus transplant I'd consider it. I would go through considerable pain and effort if it meant I could get pregnant.Every guy I've ever told has either looked at me like I'm insane or just straight-up laughed at me. Women I've told seem to understand, but nobody really takes it seriously except for my wife. She knows it's not a joke and that it's an actual dream of mine. Any guys out there agree with me?======Bimps09/15/2019ewww haha thats so gross man yuck so gross!! geez makes me wanna vomit! makes me wanna throw up all over you, haha blueeuughhhh im gonna vomit thats so **** nasty hahaahaha what the **** oh **** i think im gonn- HEUBLEUUGHUUUHHHHHGHH oh my god my stoma- BLEUUUGHHHFFPHHGFF IM IN HELL!!!!!! IM IN HE- BLEUOHHHGHHHHFH=====onjit09/15/2019Unlike normal diseases, which spread via biological elements, Ligma is spread through written and verbal communication. A creature infected with Ligma will attempt to establish a dialogue with non-infected creatures wherein they will inevitably refer to their possession of the disease. Once the recipient creature of the dialogue hears the name of the disease, they must make a DC 16 Intelligence saving throw, or be forced to ask "What's Ligma?" The infected creature will then reply "Ligma balls!" Upon hearing this, the recipient creature of the conversation becomes infected with Ligma, while the original creature collapses into raucous laughter and suffers 5 levels of exhaustion.At the beginning of a long rest, an infected creature can attempt a DC 18 Intelligence saving throw. If they succeed, they are no longer infected with Ligma.Creatures with an Intelligence score of 4 or lower cannot contract this disease.=====onjit09/16/2019I was in an elevator in 2002, Salt Lake City Olympics. Jay jumps in the elevator and my buddy and I are like, "oh ****, Jay Leno". So he says, "why do girls like wearing leather pants?" "we dunno Jay". "because it makes their pussies smell like new car scent" and then he got off the elevator.=====onjit09/19/2019If you believe in Allah put this on 5 discord server. Don't just ignore this because it says in the Quran if you deny him, he will deny you in front of his son in the gates of paradise. This is the simplest test. If you love Allah and you are not ashamed of it, copy and paste it on 5 discord serverhttps://media.discordapp.net/attachment … image0.gif=====onjit09/20/2019I swear to god, all this chat ever does is find the one person with the lowest IQ and copy paste whatever that braindead moron posts.=====whomstdve09/20/2019i'm gonna just message you real quick to let you know i've blocked you for about 10 minutes now. I have nothing against you but typically people who ague with EVERYTHING people say and comes out of the blue have no idea whats going on. Have a drink read up and learn some actual things besides basic "it just works" budget building. Until then maybe some tylenol for your headache that you brought on with your crummy attitude.=====whomstdve09/20/2019Guys I just **** up,I forgot I was in class and by instincts I ripped a fat cloud with my vtech cloud atomizer z36x3 December edition, fatter clouds less tar, 3.1 ohm with my fat juicy white cloud grape strawberry chocolate e juice, 60 vg 40 pg, bro I fogged up the entire class and set of all the fire alarms in the buildings, some kid's service dog literally overdosed :rofl: and now he wants $8000 for a new one. Bro there was so much smoke the paint started to peel off and now the university thinks it's MY fault they need an entire renovation of the classroom. Bro every kid's laptop was dripping wet and destroyed and now they want ME to pay for new laptops. Bro it wasn't my fault it was an accident.Please any of you know what i should do? Please any help please bros. This is the last time I can talk to y'all for a bit, I'm at the local police station gonna spend a couple days here, apparently killing the service dog and a kid with asthma BY ACCIDENT is like really bad and now I'm being detained for murder. Bros leave any help here I'll read it later thank bros.======Living Coward09/21/2019Sorry, your password must contain at least 13 characters, and contain at least one number, which cannot be any of the first six digits of pi, and cannot be your phone number, eldest sibling's birthday, or your lotto numbers. You must have at least two of the following characters: Я, Δ, :pineapple:, or :rabbit2:. You may not repeat characters more than three times in a row, unless you are Christian, in which case you may use 777 or if you are a member of the Church of Satan you may use 666. Should you choose a person emoji in your password, it cannot represent your own skin color. Your password cannot be one of your last seventeen passwords, nor can it include your first or second pet's name (you may include the names of goldfish that died within two days of coming home from the fair). You may not include the name of any professional sports team that has won a national title in the past six years. You may not include any words found in the Official Scrabble Players Dictionary, including the dumb two-letter ones that are ridiculous, like "AA". You may not include Klingon words that have actually been uttered in an official Star Trek franchise show or film. Likewise for Elvish words in the Hobbit or in the first two Lord of the Rings books. You cannot use any word that sounds like, looks like, or seems like the word "Love" (e.g., Luv, Luhvs, hearts, L0V, etc.). All consecutive letters must alternate between upper and lower case in a pattern matching the Fibonacci series (e.g., AbCDefgHIJKL). Should you forget your password, you will be required to request a password reset in person in our offices at Huffman Prairie Flying Field, Dayton, Ohio, during regular business hours, except on Friday. There will be a five day waiting period for password resets, which we will send to your email address, which cannot be a .google.com, .hotmail.com, or yahoo.com address.====UnableToAssume09/29/2019Copypasta jokes are not funny. It’s annoying and incredibly irritating to me when I say something in chat because I would enjoy actual responses and I instead get my own words thrown back at me. Please don’t just copy my messages and be original! Thank you!Bimps09/29/2019=====If you are far irl.You know here in Norway,if you dress as a cow on burgerking this weekyou get a free meal<wowi think i would want to take youwith mesince you already a cowSKRTRRRRRR=========pingoLast Wednesday at 1:56 PMWARNING! Carry on reading! Or you will die, even if you only looked at the word warning! Once there was a little girl called Clarissa, she was ten-years-old and she lived in a mental hospital, because she killed her mom and her dad. She got so bad she went to kill all the staff in the hospital so the More- government decided that best idea was to get rid of her so they set up a special room to kill her, as humane as possible but it went wrong the machine they were using went wrong. And she sat there in agony for hours until she died. Now every week on the day of her death she returns to the person that reads this letter, on a monday night at 12:00a.m. She creeps into your room and kills you slowly, by cutting you and watching you bleed to death. Now send this to ten other profiles on this one site, and she will haunt someone else who doesn't. This isn't fake. apparently, if u copy and paste this to ten comments in the next ten minutes u will have the best of your life. TIC TOC.'=====BimpsLast Wednesday at 3:49 PMWelp. Chief, big oof on that one senpai, my dude. Yikes.adultingSchroedinger's catcognitive dissonanceThat didn't happen.And if it did, it wasn't that bad.And if it was, that's not a big deal.And if it is, that's not my fault.And if it was, I didn't mean it.And if I did...You deserved it.=====Oof boingz zoinks creepers aww man with a pickle rickle on a popsicle holy **** Batman lets unpackerino this yikeserino and uuhhohh that isn’t nice 69 haha so funny who hurt you inkwell maybe try showering?. Oh sweet summer child that isn’t very wholesome 100 look at doggo and pupper teehee the long boi and the blep are friends wahoooo balanced as all thinks should be haha thanos purple better than orenge drumpfEdit: a wordEdit 2: just a punEdit 3: WOOOOOHHOOOOO KatSCHHHHHingrrrrrrrr Thank you for the gold kind stranger!!!!!!!!!!!!! You sir made the internet today!!!!=====BimpsLast Thursday at 5:39 PMautism is the driving force of the universe.the ability to just think up somethig and o it no matter wwhat like if one were ar obot or playing a videogame is god tierly fantastic, everyone else disolves into a sea of doubts "oh what will they think, why do most people not do this??""" not us brother, once we know the task we stop thinking about anyhting else=====onjitLast Thursday at 8:17 PMEvery post I have ever made on discord is a satire and I do not condone nor support any of the opinions expressed on this chatroom. Any post associated with this IP is satire and should be treated as such. At no point has anyone associated with this IP ever condoned, encouraged, committed or abated acts of violence or threats of violence against any persons, regardless of racial, ethnic, religious or cultural background. In case of an investigation by any federal entity or similar, I do not have any involvement with this group or with the people in it, I do not know how I am here, probably added by a third party, I do not support any actions by the member of this group.=====onjit02/20/2019Many of us have made careers out of doing just these things: slogging through the grind, all day, the same quests over and over, hundreds of times to the point where we know evety little detail such that some have attained such gamer nirvana that they can literally play these games blindfolded.Do these people have any idea how many controllers have been smashed, systems over heated, disks and carts destroyed 8n frustration? All to latter be referred to as bragging rights?These people honestly think this is a battle they can win? They take our media? We're already building a new one without them. They take our devs? Gamers aren't shy about throwing their money else where, or even making the games our selves.They think calling us racist, mysoginistic, rape apologists is going to change us? We've been called worse things by prepubescent 10 year olds with a **** head set. They picked a fight against a group that's already grown desensitized to their strategies and methods. Who enjoy the battle of attrition they've threatened us with. Who take it as a challange when they tell us we no longer matter. Our obsession with proving we can after being told we can't is so deeply ingrained from years of dealing with big brothers/sisters and friends laughing at how pathetic we used to be that proving you people wrong has become a very real need; a honed reflex.Gamers are competative, hard core, by nature. We love a challange. The worst thing you did in all of this was to challange us. You're not special, you're not original, you're not the first; this is just another boss fight.=====onjit02/20/2019If the player presses and holds the reverse key, the vehicle can accelerate with practically no upper speed limit. It is possible to accelerate until reaching 1.23×1037 miles per hour (1.98×1037 kilometres per hour; 5.8×1020 light-years per second) or more than 1028 times the speed of light. At this point, all checkpoints will turn green and the player will instantly win the race because this extreme speed causes the vehicle to be literally everywhere at once. However, the truck will halt instantly when the reverse key is released, regardless of its speed=====I'm a grown-**** male adult who plays video games, and plays them hard. My computer can smash through any god damn title on Steam. I've blasted my way through the DOOM series, Wolfenstein, Half Life, Quake, BioShock and more. I consider myself a pretty hardy, skilled gamer, but most importantly completely immune to guts, gore and spooks after years of exposure.So why is it then, that this game is able to scare me ****? Team Salvato, I salute you, for making this grown **** man cry at his computer screen. I literally downloaded the game for a laugh, I saw the tags on Steam and giggled at the content warnings... then I saw Sayori hanging by the neck from her bedroom ceiling and all light-heartedness was gone in an instant.This is the single most intelligently designed video game I've ever played. It's giving Undertale a run for it's money, I can't get over how frightfully impressed I am.This **** game, man. This **** game.=====rainbow02/27/2019=======DISCLAIMER: this is not a personal attack.. you have not upset me. but i need to say this. you cannot fight yourself. jumping backwards while tiger shooting is fun. but how many thousands of times. its worth losing matches to expand variety and complexity. you are the absolute least fun to play against out of everyone i have played. and mate... im not salty. so dont take it like that. ill not blacklist you and ill run it back every match. i dont dislike you or know you. but i have fought you. and im being serious when i say what i say.  it will be harder for you to find people to play if you are so narrow in approach. winning is the offset of progression.  self development and evolution should be the drivers. not rank or points.  keep playing like that if you want. but there is no next level of development down that path. what ever you do you become better at it. which is why i always wake up buttons and do allll those so basic things that are so obvious. you are litterally becoming the best at jumping away. mix it up lol. for your own development and my sanity. i mean hell. ill even drop every game and give you the win... just dash forward sometimes. ffs lmao======Frex04/03/2019Lead Maidens are singlehandedly ruining this game.There's no reason an extremely common random enemy should be tons harder than everything else so far including the floor 2 boss even though Lead Maidens started showing up before that fight. It makes every moment not spent fighting a Lead Maiden pointless because whether or not I win depends 99% on whether or not that **** miniboss appears. I've never seen one nonboss singlehandedly ruin a game before but this one is doing it extremely efficiently. Beating one Lead Maiden is harder than beating Rabi-Ribi's True Boss Rush. It's **** unforgivable to have the game change so radically every time that enemy show up. It kills me in like one **** hit & it has far more health than everything else I've fought before despite also being bigger & faster than everything else too.Whomever came up with that enemy needs to go jack off to medieval torture **** & get it out of their system. Jesus Christ!I really wish the creators of this game would've just decided whether to make an amazing game or the worst game ever & stuck with it.=====Olive Man04/08/2019Guys, I'm **** shaking. I never wanted to breed with anyone more than I want to with Black Cat D.Va. That petite, curvy body. Those perky breasts. The tight checkered goth-loli stockings. It honestly **** hurts knowing that I'll never mate with her and have her birth perfect Korean gamer offspring. I'd do **** ANYTHING for the chance to be with Black Cat D.Va. A N Y T H I N G.=====onjit04/10/2019Once upon a time, I used to think Undertale was cringey and very overhyped. I'd scowl whenever i saw one of those "UT Comics". They seemed cringey and I just despised them for some reason. I heard about the bad reputation Undertale had but never really looked into it or why the reputation seemed bad. One day, I was feeling pretty bored. I had a pretty bad laptop and couldn't play most games but I had Undertale... even though I never played it yet. I avoided playing it and just didn't really notice it at all. That night I was like "ah screw it" and started Undertale. I didn't expect much and was pretty unmotivated to actually play it. But when I actually started to play it... my heart broke. It just couldn't handle it.I played the pacificist/true pacifist route as I thought it was interesting that there was a different method to deal with fights. Instead of fighting and killing monsters to level up and get gold. In Undertale you could act and befriend them, eventually sparing them. It really intrigued me. I was also very surprised at the soundtracks. I didn't expect much for music so when I heard the soundtracks at the beginning I was starting to get into Undertale. I played and didn't stop at all. I played beginning to end in a couple hours straight, no breaks. Towards the end I was beginning to feel restless and sad as I approached Asgore. I heard this soundtrack and really started to feel sad as I empathized with the monsters. The fight with Asgore was hard as I thought it was the final boss, a couple times I wouldn't immediately make my move and act, but instead sit and listen to the soundtrack. I realized I really enjoyed this game. It wasn't that bad at all, though the fanbase might seem kinda cringey the game was completely fine. I finally finished the fight with Asgore feeling kinda sad only to be surprised. There was more to play! I played and relished the moment. I was sad and expected it. I should be sad but also happy for finishing a game right? Especially a game I enjoyed! Right?!... No.The ending absolutely crushed me. I weeped during the whole fight with Asriel. I got a lump in my throat while tears poured down my face and my nose felt runny causing me to sniff a lot. This game.. isn't just a game, it was a life experience for me. Something that I'll never experience again. I really love the characters, the world, the feels, the funny parts that make the game actually feel like a game. But what I loved most of all.. were the emotions it brought out of me that I really didn't expect. It brings emotions out of you that you didn't really know you had. So after I finished the amazing game, I should have been happy and satisfied that I completed a game. But again all I felt was emptiness. An overwhelming sense of sadness and regret for finishing the game, this left a hole in my heart. I leaned back for a while and thought about it all, absorbing everything I just experienced and letting it sink in. My eyes grew hot again and tears formed as my mind swarmed with thoughts of only Undertale and Asriel.After shaking myself from my stunned state, I went to my bed and just fell apart. I laid there crying, wondering why we couldn't save Asriel, wishing that I could enter the game, wishing that I could become Frisk, wishing that I could forget everything about Undertale so I can relive the experience I had playing it. I cried, cried and cried. I listened to the soundtracks of Undertale and just curled up and kept crying. I will never be able to experience something like Undertale or feel 'that way' again. I cried because I would miss it. I miss the characters. I could replay the game, but it just isn't the same and I'd cry at the ending when I save everyone and Asriel frees the souls. Surely during the pacifist route you would be able to save EVERYONE.. right? Show mercy and befriend everyone.. but why. why can't we save the true hero. The one that breaks the barrier and allows everyone to be happy... but themself? Why can't Asriel have a happy ending? All these thoughts remained in my mind as I cried myself to sleep. The soundtracks really stuck with me as I made a place for Undertale in my heart. I'd never forget this experience I had playing Undertale.Now, after 2 years since playing, I no longer cry when thinking about it. I still listen to all the soundtracks.. my favorite being His Theme, Undertale and It's Raining Somewhere Else. (Also You're Always Welcome Home in Deltarune). Don't get me wrong. I'm still very sad and get emotional but I thought to myself, even if Asriel can't be happy. It doesn't mean we can't be happy. Why don't I, we, be happy for Asriel. I shouldn't be sad that I will never feel 'that way' again from when I first played Undertale. Instead, I should be happy that I experienced it in the first place. I should be happy I was exposed to this masterpiece. I'll remember this forever, and thank you Toby. Not for creating a game, but for creating an experience. A whole world to empathize and truly be happy in. Thank you.Good Night.=====onjit04/24/2019Hey look buddy, I'm a gamer. That means I solve problems, not problems like "What faction is superior" Because that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy. I solve gamer problems, for instance: how am I going to stop some mean mother Hubbard from using revenge in a 1v1. The answer, use my feat, and if that don't work... Use all 4 feats. Take for instance this lvl 3 feat which is a throwable gladius, forged with high carbon steel attached to this high quality handle and guard, designed by me, built by me, and you best hope... not locked on to you.====Living Coward05/19/2019Gamers.We're a group of people who will sit for hours, days, even weeks on end performing some of the hardest, most mentally demanding tasks. Over, and over, and over all for nothing more than a little digital token saying we did.We'll punish our selfs doing things others would consider torture, because we think it's fun.We'll spend most if not all of our free time min maxing the stats of a fictional character all to draw out a single extra point of damage per second.Many of us have made careers out of doing just these things: slogging through the grind, all day, the same quests over and over, hundreds of times to the point where we know evety little detail such that some have attained such gamer nirvana that they can literally play these games blindfolded.Do these people have any idea how many controllers have been smashed, systems over heated, disks and carts destroyed 8n frustration? All to latter be referred to as bragging rights?These people honestly think this is a battle they can win? They take our media? We're already building a new one without them. They take our devs? Gamers aren't shy about throwing their money else where, or even making the games our selves. They think calling us racist, mysoginistic, rape apologists is going to change us? We've been called worse things by prepubescent 10 year olds with a **** head set. They picked a fight against a group that's already grown desensitized to their strategies and methods. Who enjoy the battle of attrition they've threatened us with. Who take it as a challange when they tell us we no longer matter. Our obsession with proving we can after being told we can't is so deeply ingrained from years of dealing with big brothers/sisters and friends laughing at how pathetic we used to be that proving you people wrong has become a very real need; a honed reflex.Gamers are competative, hard core, by nature. We love a challange. The worst thing you did in all of this was to challange us. You're not special, you're not original, you're not the first; this is just another boss fight.===onjit06/15/2019You started your answer above: "Well, you make decisions as in any other rpg game". Are you serious? These games have nothing to do with RPGs. Ultima games are RPG's, Mass Effects are RPG's, Fallout games are RPG's (except the fourth one is much lesser one). Games where you just make choices that affect story are certainly not RPG's. RPG's are about building character roles, like one is an archer, one is a knight, one is a mage - you determine the strenghts and weaknesses of your character and play with them. RPGs do not require a role in development of the plot, those games are called story focused games like these Quantic Dream titles completely are. To be exact, I would call Bioshock a strory driven game, but not story focused, since the focus is clearly on action.I hate to bring awful trash game The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt back on topic, but that is a perfect extraordinary example of what is not called an RPG, but just a storydriven action adventure game. This complain might seem like a nitpick, but I just want to avoid false marketing that for example CD Projekt does, which we will most likely witness again when Cyberpunk 2077 is sold as something else than it really is. There are really not too many new AAA-level RPG's available currently, but people think so because the meaning of RPG was watered down especially by The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt, which might be an enjoyable game if you just like the story, but otherwise is just pure running around without any real character development. It is all about simple number boosts, which is far more narrow gameplay wise even compared to games like the latest Batman (Rocksteady) and Ratchet & Clank titles.Can you expand on exact meaning of RPG in this context? Then tell us who you play as in those games. Who's position you take? For who you make decisions?=====Helist06/23/2019"Talking **** is ingrained in game culture. Unfortunately, if you don't want to hear people trash talking then don't join game chat."This is so disappointing to see so many people say. What happened to the "not all gamers" and "gamers rise up" sentiments that have since been turned into memes? Are we really just accepting that we're garbage now, that we don't even try to separate ourselves from the worst among us or be better than the negative stereotypes of us? We could easily say "just don't participate in toxicity 4Head" but instead we're saying "just don't participate in gaming 4Head".=========onjit06/27/2019Hey, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3"03' tall and 63.9 pounds. this means they're large enough to be able to handle human ****, and with their impressive Base stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there's no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll eyes, Captivate, Charm and Tail Whip along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it'd be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close with this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human ****. Ungodly defense stat + high HP pool + Acid Armor means it can take **** all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more.=====TorvakMOS07/19/2019Hello! Sorry to bother you all, but I’m new to the CS:GO competitive scene. I’m just very curious why it seems there’s nothing that could challenge the Finnish esports organization that goes by the name “ENCE Esports”? Everything just seems to be so easy for them======I skied uphill to the top of the tallest tunturi in Finland. At the top, I saw allu T-posing with the rest of the Finnish pride of CSGO team ENCE. I dropped to my knees and cried. xseveN began to spin faster and faster, and through my tears I saw the entire ENCE team float up into the sky. The last thing I heard was a distant “TORILLA...TAVATAAN”=======TorvakMOS07/19/2019I met allu in London during the London major . He came out of a bush and joined me and my friends on our walk to mcdonalds. Whilst we were walking to the mcd he was bragging about how he taught nitr0 everything he knew. Got a picture with him where he made fun of my cloud9 jersey. At mcdonalds he took like 10 packs of ketchup. Nice guy. He was pretty drunk.========TorvakMOS07/30/2019How u tend to Elderspell. Some of you like it and others say its to narrow or so, i read the last days. Switiching the spells, so no more smallpox and pox, wastelands and sinkholes etc, which made it for the opponent often difficult to cast the 4 Mana walkers. So now, in this builds with dead of Winter and so on, there should be other answers for decks with pws. So it seems elderspell is now much more useful than before, i mean two spyglas5/ needles in the Board doesnt Do it, i think. What are your insights?========whomstdve08/29/2019You committed the ultimate cardinal sin, you got personal. You, as a team of professionals trying to make money, got personal. You got personal and decided to insult your playbase, calling us "****-hats" and "freeloaders". Not a wise move.We won't forget this. You've set a new tone for the kind of interaction we'll be having with you. It's a cold one. One where there aren't any illusions about the reality of the situation. Previous notions of "family" are dead. We are mere consumers to you, and that is obvious.You have chosen to bring in a new era of hostility and bitterness. Well done. Great PR move.=====onjit08/29/2019https://discordapp.com/channels/5477573 … 1754981410whomstdve08/30/2019not my fault helist categorized it incorrectlyonjit08/30/2019yeahwhat an absolute moronwhomstdve08/30/2019what a **** idiotTorvakMOS08/30/2019DiscoverFollowingBrowseSearchSearchJokerdTVstarladder_cs_enLIRIKQuin69ESL_CSGODanGheeslingmichaelalfoxmbXtremeJokerdTVJokerdTVLIVEVideos14ClipsEventsFollowers39,309Following129World of Warcraft[Level 58+] FINAL PUSH TO 60 - WoW Classic Mage Leveling - Mograine EU - !leaderboard !playedCategory:World of WarcraftLevelingMarathonEnglishMMORPGRPG76,314937,099YOUTUBE - Touch Me BabyPanel ContentSometimes i upload speedruns i do here, feel free to check them out Donations - Click the Boomer!Panel ContentIf you want to give me money so i dont have to become a male stripper like Ricardo, you can do it here, thanks bro!Panel ContentQ: How old are you?A: 22Q: Where are you from?A: MaltaQ: Discord tag?A: Jokerd#4732Q: Can you link your wow armory?A: Hunter ArmoryQ: Why you dont play bfa anymore?A: Didnt like the expansion so i am waiting for classic ))Q: Will you stream classic?A: Yes i will Q: Private server times?A:Server 1st 60 on Elysium Nethergarde in 3days 10hoursServer 1st 60 on Light's Hope Silver Hand in 2days 17hoursGold MedalFaithfire2,000Silver MedalHaildancer1,000Bronze Medalkream86600Twitch PrimeWoozie_9: 4HeadTwitch Primecairnsie2: BUT METHOD CONFIRMED BUT METHOD CONFIRMED BUT METHOD CONFIRMED BUT METHOD CONFIRMED BUT METHOD CONFIRMED BUT METHOD CONFIRMED BUT METHOD CONFIRMED BUT METHOD CONFIRMED BUT METHOD CONFIRMED BUT METHOD CONFIRMED BUT METHOD CONFIRMED BUT METHOD CONFIRMED BUT METHOD CONFIRMED BUT METHOD CONFIRMED BUT METHOD CONFIRMED BUT METHOD CONFIRMED BUT METHOD CONFIRMED BUT METHOD CONFIRMED BUT METHOD CONFIRMED BUT METHOD CONFIRMED BUT METHOD CONFIRMED BUT METHOD CONFIRMED BUT METHOD CONFIRMED BUT METHOD CONFbecko10: sourPlsPenguins_Fur: SourPlsmozpioz: LULWggspr: OMEGALUL OMEGALUL OMEGALUL OMEGALUL OMEGALUL OMEGALUL OMEGALUL OMEGALUL OMEGALUL=========Helist08/30/[email protected] @onjit :Bruh:whomstdve08/30/2019:bruff:Helist08/30/2019”Method” is a professional raiding guild in the popular MMORPG “World of Warcraft”. Under the guidance of guild master Scott “Sco” McMillan the guild has come to be revered by many as the most accomplished guild of all time with several noteworthy achievements under its belt such as multiple world firsts, high ranking PvP teams and losing the Classic 60 race to a bald Maltese gnome.============whomstdve09/09/2019It's the year 2044. Thomas Edward Patrick Brady Jr, now 67 years of age and having lapped the field in every statistical measure, throws a dime of a pass to some no-name receiver to mark his 750th touchdown in the NFL. There is little fanfare. Every milestone is his already and is cemented in the thralls of NFL lore. He doesn't even celebrate throwing them anymore, he just doesn't know anything else. He waltzes off the field and is congratulated by his son John Edward Thomas Moynahan, who is now the backup quarterback for the Patriots."That was a great throw, dad.""Shut up, idiot. There are three quarters left." He takes off his gloves and laments the fact that he has 31 rings, three for each finger but one will always have an extra. He strongly considers the idea of playing until he has 40 just to cure his OCD.John hangs his head in shame. Wide receivers coach Julian Edelman slaps him on his back and reassures him: "It's okay kid he's in sicko mode right now."Bill Belichick, now simply a consciousness downloaded into some unholy machination of flesh and metal, ignores the entire ordeal and makes note of the gunner on the ensuing kickoff straying 4.5 feet from his designated lane. That gunner will die tomorrow.======whomstdve09/15/2019A lot of enthusiasts hate brown switches. They be all like "nah bro browns are TRASH I can't even FEEL the tactile BUMP and the SOUND PROFILE is so God damned MUSHY you have to **** go to MASSDROP and wait for 8 **** YEARS after pre-ordering the zeelios burnt navy translucent blue box panda ROYALS then de-solder them and replace the base with royal black SPRINGS and LUBE them up with hg7364 if you USE hg7363 you're a **** IDIOT I literally can't type on anything ELSE because everything else is **** TRASH and RGB is for **** KIDS and I'm a **** ADULT that collects **** KEYBOARDS."but really the browns are pretty good.======whomstdve09/20/2019Listen you **** uncultured swin, riot is a **** amercian company not some japanese weeaboo game maker and even then they are owned by a korean corporation which is still not japanese so shut the **** up=====TorvakMOS09/27/2019Hey guys my name is Timmy and I love Counterstrike Global Offensive. I have epilepsy and my Mom doesn't allow me to continue watching CS because I had an epileptic attack caused by the spam in chat. So please stop spamming or my mom said she will leave me in the forest.=======onjit02/20/2019I go through my day pretty normal like, I'm a normal guy, I'm a swell guy, I'm a nice enough guy, I'm a cool kind of guy, I'm a pretty groovy guy...but then I get a little SUGAR in me and start to go KOO-KOO. Doesn't have to be much, this time it was two of 'em Fiber One brownies. Only 90 calories each but they do the job. Do you know what I'm sayin'? They get me goin', they get me riled up, a little KOO-KOO, a little WACKY, start gettin' me a little KOOKY, a little, y'know, LOOPY-- OOO. Hey, somebody get this kid in a padded cell! Someone get him a straitjacket! He's gettin' a little WACKY..ooo...a little KOOKY! He's off the walls, bananas, loco! You want me to stop. Isn't that wonderful? Well, let me just do what you say, because it's your little fairy tale=====Simply put, no. Really, the idea of a world without mustard doesn't even make sense. Think about it... what else would fill the nasally void? What else provides such versatile flavor? Mustard has always been the most beautiful thing on this entire planet. Mustard will always be the most tasty thing in the universe. Sure, mustard alone is questionably tasty. But mustard doesn't work alone, must amplifies other lesser flavors. Even those who claim they don't eat mustard are just fooling themselves. Remember homeopathy? Well, pretty much everything is homeopathically contaminated with mustard, and mustard has brought their food greatness. Donald Trump thinks he can make America great again. No, he alone cannot. But mustard can. We should not build a wall. We should build a goddamn mustard waterfall. Niagara Falls? How about Mustard Falls? This is the only way to make mustard great again, scientifically proven in exactly 0 controlled trials, in e^πi +1 peer reviewed journals. Why would this make America great again? Imagine if you could take any boring sandwich and slather it in mustard just by putting it outside. That's right, we're going to make mustard rain. The whole world would be spiced up a notch. Bland sandwiches would be edible again. Decent sandwiches would be mindblowing. Productivity would skyrocket a whopping 10,000% with all the newfound enthusiasm for life. South Korea and North Korea would be friends again. Israelis and Palestinians would stop killing each other. Instead, they would all revel in their love of mustard. Long story short, mustard not only binds this world together, but is the solution for all of this world's problems.Burn on, my friend.=====Like I said...You have the lower body and you have no upper body, you got a problem building...wait a minute. You have the upper body, and you have no legs, you got a problem building your legs. You have the upper...you have the lower body and you don't have the upper body, the upper body, it is easier to build. So if you have the lower body and you don't have the upper body, it is easier to build the upper body. You have the upper body and you don't have the legs, you got a problem building the lower body... No, you don't understand. You have the upper body, but you don't have the lower body, you got a problem building downstairs. You got the up- legs on the bottom, it is easier to build on the top, so you don't have much as a problem. Yeah.=====Has it not occurred to you that the voice you've read my post in is in fact the voice in your head? It's your voice, it bears your tone, and your judgement values. How about this: Why are you being a little ****? I am the matriarch of eggserver gang banging, dear. Do you not know who I am? I am desperately lonely. Are you trying to be my friend? Because you've got an interesting way of going about it. I'm ok with this, I can work with this, this is what we do. I do this. (That's an ICP reference. Get it?) Or am I wrong? Are you hurt or offended by something I said? Have I wronged you somehow? Are you upset? Do you feel trolled? As your friend, I feel obliged to inform you that if you said "yes" to any of these questions, you might be misattributing things to me which do not exist. If you don't understand what that means, how about don't sit there and tell me I'm both somehow subjective and also wrong. You can't have it both ways. So what's it going to be, chummer? I am The House. And The House says the door is open. Are you going to walk in here, **** my **** up, and steal my properties? Ok, that's rude. We could also just chill. If I think I'm someone who thinks they're deeper than they actually are, then clearly I must dig deeper. I died once, true story. Listen... everything I've said in this channel... you must read in a voice with a friendly tone. And before you interrupted me, a youthful jubilence. You're abrasive, I'm sure you already know that. I understand I can be abrasive as well. I can understand you, I need you to understand me. If you don't understand me, we can't be friends. If we can't be friends, then you best get to stepping because you're in my way. Are you good?=====onjit02/20/2019Greetings, everyone! I just had a surprise circumcision. Not many people have surprise circumcisions, but I gotta say, it's the shock that gets to ya. One minute you're watching a nightly political talk show, the other you're lying on a bloodied carpet with your dingle missing his scarf. There aren't many hospitals around here, just a bunch of pharmaceuticals, so I had to stitch up the wound. This tape won't hold though, adhesives typically don't attach to wet skin. On a brighter note, my grandson finally spoke to me after a long hiatus. He dyed his hair. He looks like a radical and it upsets me. I bet he supports the free market, that wet socket. One day I'm gonna sneak into his house and shave his head. He'll look like an egg. A radicalized egg. And then, I'm gonna smash all of those ding-dabbit new age industrial music DVD sets he collects. If I don't understand it, no one can. It's just how it works.=====onjit02/20/2019The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. Mean spirited men and women find themselves alone at last, or trapped in the hateful marriages they've twisted about themselves. Without any cheer or optimism to offer, they find themselves confined to dead end jobs where they suffer endless routine humiliations from superiors and coworkers. You, a person bringing food to their door, often times you're just a blip in their radar, barely registering as a lifeform. Other times, when they focus on you, it's the way they focus on everyone: you're an adversary. You're trying to rip them off, steal from them in one way or another. But sometimes you encounter a rude, scowling person who throws a dollar at you. Maybe for that person, you're a lifeline to their humanity. Maybe that little act was a tiny grain of life in a bleak and grim existence.=====I Have Two Knees and I'm Naked Under My ClothesWhat are ya gonna do about it? Huh? My neighbor did something about it and I handcuffed him to himself.I roll two dice. One shows up six. This six represents the number of time you have left to live. WHat are you gonna do about it?I bet you're naked under your clothes too, you ****. I bet you're naked in the tub. I bet you wish you were alive. I know I am. What are you gonna do about it?Einstein once said, "Hoo!" And guess what happened? He Hoo'd his way into a relative grave. Machiavelli once said, "Perche la vita e brieve e molte son le pene che vivendo e stentando ognun sostiene; dietro alle nostre voglie, andiam passando e consumando gli anni, che chi il placer si toglie per viver con angosce e con affanni, non conosce gli inganni del mondo; o da quai mali e da che strani casi oppressi quasi sian tutti i mortali."Hell's bells, what are we gonna do about it?A wise old man climbs 1000 steps to the top of a Bangladeshi summit. His organs, stricken with coronary heart disease, fail immediately. By divine fortune, a young boy of the age of 20 steps from the shadows and approaches him with three gifts. "Choose four," she whispers. The old man glares at the object and smiles. He slouches deeper into the recliner and watches the news.There is nothing you can do about it. All is chaos. All is woe. When we try to make sense of the things that don't, it recedes into further confusion. So don't try.Just accept it.=====GREETINGS TO YOU I HOPE I MEET YOU IN A GOOD SPIRIT MY NAME IS MARIA BERNARD, AM 19 YEARS OLD I'M THE ONLY SURVIVING CHILD OF MY LATE PARENTS MR AND MRS NELSON BERNARD.I LOST MY PARENTS AND MY ONLY KID BROTHER MYSTERIOUSLY ON A CAR ACCIDENT ON THEIR TRIP TO IVORY COAST WERE MY DADDY RUNS HIS OIL FIRM(COMPANY) WHICH I WAS SO LUCKY THAT I WAS NOT IN THE CAR WITH THEM THAT FAITH  FRIDAY MORNING ON 27TH JULY 2012 THEIR DEATH HAS COST ME SO MUCH PAINS PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY BECAUSE I WAS JUST 13YEARS WHEN I LOST THEM AND EVER SINCE THEN,I HAVE BEEN STAYING WITH MY LATE FATHER'S BROTHER MR EDWIN BERNARD WHO HAS BEEN TREATING ME LIKE A SLAVE IN MY OWN FATHER HOUSE EVER SINCE I LOST MY PARENT'S I HAVE BEEN SERVING MY UNCLE AS A SERVANT FROM THE FIRST DAY HE PARKED IN TO CLAIM ALL MY LATE FATHER'S INVESTMENTS.    MY LATE FATHER IS A WELL KNOWN MAN IN BENIN REPUBLIC BECAUSE OF HIS PERSONALITY IN THE BUSINESS WORLD WHICH HIS BROTHERS HAVE END UP SHARING AND MISUSED IT BECAUSE OF THEIR GREEDINESS AND LACK OF EDUCATION ALL THEY WANT IS TO SHARE THE PROPERTY WHICH THEY HAVE SUCCEEDED TO ACHIEVED.    I HAVE BEEN LIVING A SORROWFUL AND LONELY LIFE OVER HERE SINCE THE INCIDENT I WAS BIT YOUNGER AS I SAID BEFORE AND  EARLIER THIS YEAR 15TH OF JANUARY 2017 I DISCOVERED A DEPOSIT CERTIFICATE IN MY LATE FATHER'S ABANDONED STATIONERY WHICH STATED THAT THE CERTIFICATE PROVES THAT MY LATE FATHER HAS MADE IN A DEPOSIT IN A BANK CALLED (BICICI BANK PLC)A DEPOSIT WORTH OF EIGHT MILLION FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS ($8.500 000. 00 MILLION DOLLARS) IN IVORY COAST WERE HE WAS RUNNING HIS OIL BUSINESS ON MARCH 06|03|2011.I HAVE GONE TO THE BANK TO MAKE NECESSARY VERIFICATION ABOUT THE EXISTENCE OF THE FUNDS AND I'M SO GLAD AND HAPPY THAT THE BANK MANAGER OF THE BICICI BANK HAS IT POSITIVE AND EXISTING THAT IS THE REASON WHY I CONTACTED YOU SO THAT I CAN INTRODUCE YOU TO THE BANK AS MY PARTNER SO THAT THE (BICICI BANK) CAN LET ME HAVE ACCESS TO MY FUNDS BECAUSE THEY SAID THAT THEY CAN NOT RELEASE THE MONEY TO ME UNTIL I GET SOMEONE TO BACK ME UP AS PARTNER JUST BECAUSE OF MY YOUNG AGE BEFORE THEY CAN TRANSFER THE FUNDS TO ANY FOREIGN ACCOUNT, I REALLY NEED TO RELOCATE FROM MY COUNTRY TO HAVE A NEW LIFE ABROAD AND SOMEHOW A NEW FAMILY IF YOU CAN ACCEPT ME AS YOUR DAUGHTER.I WILL RECOMMEND YOU TO THE BICICI BANK DIRECTOR AS MY PARTNER AND SOMEONE I HAVE CHOSEN AS THE BENEFICIARIES OF MY FUNDS WHO I HAVE ALSO CHOSEN TO HELP ME PROTECT AND INVEST ON MY FUNDS WHEN I RELOCATE TO YOUR COUNTRY .YOUR SUGGESTIONS AND IDEAS WILL BE HIGHLY REGARDED                                            FINALLY, I HAVE SOME QUESTION'S TO ASK YOU PLEASE(1)WHAT PERCENTAGE OF THE TOTAL AMOUNT IN QUESTION WILL BE GOOD FOR YOU AFTER THE MONEY HAS COMPLETELY TRANSFER TO YOUR ACCOUNT?(2)ARE YOU COMPLETELY GIVING ME YOUR TRUST THAT YOU WILL NOT DENY ME MY FUNDS IF IT'S TRANSFER TO YOUR ACCOUNT BECAUSE OF MY AGE?(3)CAN I REALLY TRUST YOU THAT YOU ARE NOT GOING TO SCAM ME OUT OF MY MONEY?(4)ARE YOU WILLING TO HELP ME BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE ANY THING TO HELP MY SELF TO GET THE MONEY RELEASE WITHOUT YOUR FULL ASSISTANT? PLEASE CONSIDER THIS AND LET ME KNOW YOUR MIND AS SOON AS POSSIBLE IMMEDIATELY I HEAR FROM YOU FOR YOUR WILLINGNESS. I WILL SEND TO YOU MY PICTURE AND THE DOCUMENT YOU NEEDED TO SEE OKAYYOURS SINCERELYChristmas Day of Christ Is FakeJolly St. Nick saint nick saint jolly not Nick saint Jolly Nick Saint Nick Not Demon Saint Nick is not real, he is a lie Lie lies Lie Lies lies Mass Consumerism, Advertising Ploys, Supermonopolies, Predatory Pricing, Markup Scams, Exploitation of Markets, Corrupt Outsourcing, Political Machines, DAFTA, The United States of America, Department Stores, Laundering Fronts, Panama Papers, Net Neutrality, Jeff Bezos, Bill Gates, Karl Marx, Bob Saget, Mike Pence, Berkshire Hathaway, Own the World, Own the World,You are a Sheep amongst other Sheep, we are in a deep dream machine ruled by psychopath Oligarchs, destroying our air, stealing children from third world countries, siphoning money from startups, killing cows, paying the FDA to ignore their fake meats, astral projecting cats, selling for the brand, appealing to the masses, Superbowl Commercials, controlling us, we are Puppets, they draw the Strings, it's time to Cut the Strings, but Once we Cut the Strings we are Limp, we are Too Controlled, This World is Fake, Christmas is FakeAmazon, offlineMicrosoft, offlineApple, offlineJCPenney, offlineSears, offlineCentury21, offlineMacy's, offlineTrader Joe's, offlineSupreme, offlineThe Lego Store, offlineNetflix, offlineFacebook, offlineTwitter, offlineNetscape, offlineInstagram, offlineTesla, offlineVirgin Galactic, offlineSpaceX, offlineNASA OfflineSupreme Court, OfflineInternet, OfflineVerizon, OfflineAT&T, OfflineSprint, offlineVirgin Mobile, offlineDelta Air, offlineJetBlue, OfflineSingapore Airlines, offlineSeal Team Six, OfflinePSE&G, OfflineWall Street, OfflineBroadway, offlineSilicon Valley, offlinePalo Alto, offlineManhattan, offlineSee the Difference See the Difference No You Don't No You Don't You Are A Puppet You We Me I Him Her She It They His PlanChristMas Is FakeChristMas Is Fake Do Not Shop Do Not Leave Your House The Snow Is Fake Weather Is Fake GOvernment Is Fake All Is Fake, The New Year Is Fake, Months Are Fake Time Is Fake We Are fake Jolly Saint Nick Jolly Saint Nick Jolly Sahint Nick Jolly Saint Nick Jolly Saint Nick Ha Ha ha ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha ha Ha ha hahhhhh=====I'm off to scout camp for a week, so I won't be on at all. Completely cut off from the outside world. It's gonna be great ('cept 4 teh fud ofc.) cuz dat fud b nazty. liek srsly nazty. I IS LIKE SO PUMPED I DUN GIVE A CRAP ABOUT GRAMMR!!!!one!!!eleven1. So. Bye. When I get back I'll know how to shape metal and carve wood. I already know how to make baskets, towers(like big ones), find my way with a map, run for my life, and how to get caught in a tornado bcuz srsly that Knsas weathr is liek totaly krazy. It's like raining for 10 min then it stops and u look outsid and then you cant c a single cloud liek anywer? Yeh, is liek dat. I'll be living in a canvas, semi-permanent tent and using tons of bug spray because those ticks are absolutely awful there. And then it gets so dang hot there its like omg I'm melting and then you look at your hand where your canteen was (bcuz if u dun have a canteen in ur hand u r srsly slow and might even die) and ur hand melted off. Well, I've spammed enough and described how I will be living enough for now. Bye!=====Yall ever think about if reality "bottoms out" at some point Like if it has a point where there is only one true direction Like right now, singularities are viewed as places where reality "bottoms out" And they are only thought to exist at the centers of black holes or even possibly the beginning of the universe's expansion was from a singularity. Is it a lack of information that makes these situations/events seem like the floor, the bottom, or a state of singular outcome? Or are they actually places where reality is singular and has only one direction to rearange itself To change through. This thought was brought on by trying to make some deep house music and having my speakers "bottom out" Because you only percieve a speaker to "bottom out" because the vibration it puts out is non conducive to making good sounding music. Maybe we percieve singularities as they are because if we percieve them fully, it would be non  conducive to something, like prior knowledge or models of how reality works out=====onjit02/20/2019each morning I put one uncooked ravioli in a thermos. I pour hot water over it, steeping it like tea, and then i drink it all day at work (i work at the White House) and at the end of the day, as I take the last sip of the tea, the soft ravioli slides into my mouth, and i eat it=====onjit02/25/2019"I've never been a fan of Internet Explorer"Crowd laughs nervously and a few grunts are heard from the back seats as people edge closer to hear the punchline."Why not? Don't you like the internet?"The crowd suddenly stands up, aware that they are about to receive what they came for. People slowly edge closer to the set as Sheldon prepares for his next line. Sweat is clearly visible on his brow and his mouth is quivering in anticipation as he readies himself for what is about to happen."I just prefer Firefox because, like the fox, I am cunning and nimble."The crowd suddenly surges forward as the words escape Sheldon's mouth. They are so powerful, they almost shake the very foundations of the CBS studios. He watches as, in what he perceives as slow motion, the crowd moves toward his fragile body. He has been preparing for this moment his whole life. This is his moment. This is his Emmy. This is his Golden Globe. This is even his Oscar. The crowd converges around him so quickly they ignore the trampled cries of Leonard and Penny, who now lie shaking on the floor, their bones crushed by the sheer mass of the crowd. Sheldon stares back at the eyes around him. What he sees are no longer people. What he sees is the human psyche stripped down to its core. Their lives, what they were before this moment has been forgotten. Ravenous. Hungry. They want one thing from him. Sheldon closes his eyes, clears his mind and relaxes his body. What happens next depends completely on the next few seconds. The time between this and what he mutters next feels like an eternity. Slowly, he opens his eyes. He looks at Leonard, then at Penny, both lying lifeless on the floor. Without a second thought, he says with resounding conviction..."BAZINGA"In a split second, the crowd pounces on his ready and waiting body. Man, woman, child all at once. Sheldon cries out in complete ecstasy as they consume his flesh. He stops suddenly, as he drifts into eternal slumber. Peace at last.====onjit03/03/2019Hey Northernlion. I was at the beach staring at the gorgeous view of the ocean from the top off a cliff when this random golden eagle crashed beak first into my back sending us both tumbling into the waves below. Once we burst through the frothy brine I noticed we were in the middle of a cloud of krill. What surprised me more was there was a pod of huge whales feeding on the krill. With no time to react and nothing to do but flail about, one of the larger whales swallowed the both of us when taking a mouthful of krill. After tumbling down the extensive esophagus, we landed in this whales stomach next to a half dissolved raft, how that got there is beyond me. I climbed onto the raft and hoisted the eagle on. To my utter astonishment, there was a laptop in a trunk that was strapped to the raft. When I opened it up and found no password to it I discovered that it was opened up to your stream. I immediately fell in love with your casting and am truly appreciative of the entertainment you have provided us throughout the weeks. I am still here, surviving of of the large amounts of krill that come through, and my eagle buddy, who I have decided to refer to as 'The Bird' is currently flapping around in the dark. Thanks for all you do and don't stop, at least until I get out of here. Kappa.=====onjit03/06/2019THIS IS THE TRUE DUNSPARCE! SKATE2WIN AND MYSPACE ARE NO MATCH FOR ME! I WILL EAT UP JIMMY NEUTRON BOY SATAN!!! JIMMY NEUTRON BOY SATAN!!! IT IS ABOUT THIS BOY WHO TURNS TO A SATAN AND HIS RIVALS INCLUDE MEWTWO (GO TROUBLE SHOWDOWN!!!), THE REAL SATAN (He's not cool), ROBOT DEVIL (Robot Hell is 1337!), AND BOOPER GRANDSON (YOU MOP FLIPPING ****!). JIMMY NEUTRON BOY SATAN ALSO HAS FRIENDS SUCH AS CARL THE LARD EATER AND SHEEN THE CULT WORSHIPER! THERES CINDY THE HELL VORTEX AND LIBBY THE DEMONIC SECRETARY! THEY GO TO HELL SCHOOL AND THEIR TEACHER, THE ELDER MRS DEVIL TEACHES THEM HOW TO BE NEW BOY SATANS! JIMMY NEUTRON TRIES TO MAKE SATAN TRUE BUT THEN HIS RIVALS (Except for the real Satan) ALWAYS FOIL HIS PLANS AND DO COOLER THINGS BESIDES DOING CRAP AND MAKING A CRAPPY SHOW! ALSO JIMMY NEUTRON HAS A MECHANICHAL CEREBRUS CALLED DRADDOG AND IT EATS JIMMY NEUTRON BOY SATAN EVERY SINGLE EPISODE! BUT IT GOT CANCELED.=====onjit03/10/2019have you ever heard the joke ab out the box? in the year 3000 here ima tell you another joke first in the year 3000 someone asked what year is it and they said "3000 bc" and they said "what the heck is christ" get it? but the box its very depressing so there was once a dude who was walking down the street right so he found he got hit by a car but he saw a box and there was a note inside the box and there was a note inside the box and it said there was a dude walking down the street and and he landed on a box and he opened the box and there was a note that said there was a dude walking down the street and he got hit by a car and OH MY SENSITIVITY oh and he got note and he was walking down the street right ok a died but yeah so thats a joke isnt that great INFINITELY LOOPING JOKE it's great=====do you wanna hear my signiture joke that NO ONE has NOT laughed at so one day in roblox this kid and he found an EGIRL in robLOX and when he found it he was like and he was a 40 eyar old man not a kid and he found a 12 year old beautiful uGLY girl and he said h-how are you doing and the girl said "ur fat" so the dude proceeded to kill himself the end=====onjit03/11/2019pauls house of fish gourmet. high class. paul's house of fish. i stepped through the doors and i was greeted by a man who i assumed to be paul. he flashed his yellow teeth. "nice day for some seafood chow!" he said. i nodded and set myself down on one of the adjacent booths. he passed me a grimy menu. "melted butter. it's on the house!" i told him "alright! but i am not in the mood for such sauce. may i order some bread and mussels?" "yes of course. it is a paul family secret recipe." i waited for the platter to arrive. i saw paul in the kitchen; he was the only one there. he lifted up a lobster and went "smooch smooch smooch." he saw me looking at him and flashed his yellow teeth again. "i love talking with my babies" he screamed at the top of his lungs. my order arrived and it was steaming hot. the bread was fresh and the mussels were hydrated. "mmm good" i told paul. "whatever can i expect from a house of fish?" paul gripped his lower abdomen and cried "IT HURTS". then he looked at me and laughed. "thank you, thank you so very much. i worked hard to earn this house of fish." we both laughed. i finished all the mussels and gave paul the rest of the bread. i told him i would rate his dining establishment more stars than the sky. he started to cry. "there there, paul" i said as i wiped away his tears. "you'll learn. someday." he screamed and we cradled each other under the flourescent lights.=====onjit03/21/2019Asian women are often quite easy to propagate. Look for a healthy asian woman absent of flower buds, disease and insects. Using a sharp, sterile knife make a clean cut at a 45° angle to maximize the rooting area. Cuttings should be about 3-6 inches long (shorter if the woman is small) and include the tip of the woman, and at least two or three sets of limbs attached. Remove the bottom set of limbs (new roots will often develop from this area) and dip the end you just cut into rooting gel. This will help seal the cut tissue and promote new root growth. Then place the cutting into a small pot with moist vermiculite, perlite or other soilless potting mix. Be sure to poke a small hole in the growing medium before placing the woman into it. This way the rooting solution won’t rub off of the asian woman. Then you do your standard rounds of care for a number of years until your asian woman becomes mature and, eventually, old. Piece of cake.=====onjit03/29/2019I bring my car to a stop and promptly exit the vehicle before the officer has the opportunity to approach. I stand still and face the officer with an expression-less look, with one hand tightly grasping onto an unopened bottle of Johnnie Walker Black Label. I swiftly open the container of alcohol and down the entire contents of the iconic square bottle. I then proceed to lay on the ground with my hands behind my back, with my Miranda rights invoked through my abject silence. Your honour, it cannot be proven that my client was intoxicated while operating a motor vehicle. We can only speak about the bad judgment of consuming a large quantity of alcohol prior to arrest while outside the vehicle, that for which we can only speculate on, either caused or contributed towards the blood alcohol level exceeding the legal limits.=====onjit04/04/2019Does anyone else wish they could transform into a small version of yourself, like an ant sized version of you. I don't know why the thought of becoming small and being trapped on a spider web thrills me. Just a poor helpless prey trapped in the clutches of a fearsome and beautiful widow.It reminds me of that Simpsons episode where Bart was a fly and pretended to be trapped in the weband that gorgeous spider elegantly made her way over to him.=====onjit04/04/2019i've scrolled up the last 7 days of text. I brewed coffee, made my dinner, and sat down for a long period of time analysing each text in every channel. Every message deeply analysed by my high tech computers. Minutes turned into hours. Hours into days. I locked myself in my room as I kept scrolling and scrolling endlessly. What was I looking for?! Text became jumbled up words. I grow weary and tired but I pressed on out of sheer burning curiosity. Was it all a rouse? Did I miss it? This server goes on endlessly and I don't know how long I can scroll until I meet my demise via exhaustion... I need help...A sign... I'm cold and alone.=====onjit04/06/2019Now before any of you report me for **** hear me out. First according to the height of a Minion (which is 3.5 feet on average) Gru is 4 minions tall, which means he is a godly size of 14 feet tall. Second if any of you remember the original Despicable Me, you Know there is a scene when Vector kidnaps the three girls and shoots a series of heat-seeking misses at Gru, he then dodge them all. According to the speed of an average ballistic missile (1900 mph) and the size of the missile according to his ankle size, Gru can perceive and move at such a speed that the missiles only move 9.5 miles per hour, 0.5% of their original speed. Plus after this Gru punches a shark and it is paralyzed meaning its spine is probably shattered, to remind you it would require a force greater than 3,000 newtons to fracture the spine. That’s equal to the impact created by a 500-pound car crashing into a wall at 30 miles per hour. I rest my case.=====onjit04/07/2019I Tried The Captain Kutchie's Key Lime Pies And Those PieGasams Healed All My Symptoms Within The First 4-Weeks! I highly Recommend Captain Kutchie’s Key Lime Pies For Anything That Ails You!....("They're Great"!!!.)....…Kobe Bryant May Be Retiring From Basket Ball But Captain Kutchie’s Is Still His Pie Of Choice!… …Can’t Get Enough Of That Key Lime Pie, Key Lime Pie, Key Lime Pie. Can’t Get Enough Of That Key Lime Pie Or I’ll Just Cry Until I Die, I Don’t Know Why I Just Love My Key Lime Pies!….....This Key Lime Pie Is For Our Old Friend, "The Late Great MEADOWLARK LEMON"!...RIP OLD BUDDY!...Keep Spinning Those Pies Dude!... ....This Key Lime Pie Goes Out-Too Our Other Buddy "GLENN FREY"!....Rock and Roll Heaven Just Keeps Feeling Up!....So Glenn,....Take It Easy Buddy. Or As You Always Said, You'll Take It Anyway You Can Get It!... . .…that “Captain Kutchie Pelaez” of “Kutcharitaville” over in Asheville, NC sure enough is “One Wild and Crazy Guy!” All the women are so wild about him and his Famous Cheese Burgers and Key Lime Pies,Hellaciously Fantastic Tender and Delicious Prime Ribs and Prime Steaks.Drop Off the Bone Bar-B-Q Ribs, Pulled Pork and Beef Brisket.His Drop Dead Gorgeous Wife “Anita” together in they’re Historic KeyLime Pie Factory and Grill, where the Smiles and Ovens are always Warmand Friendly, Inviting You to Spend A Little Time Resting and EnjoyingYour Time in They’re Little “Key West Island” near the Biltmore Estate=====zonii04/08/2019Life can come up with a multiplicity of problems and issues particularly in relationships. I wish everyone had a chance to know who they are falling in love with. Simply because we fall in love with people we don’t thoroughly know. Then all of the sudden they adjust their behavior. But love is something else. Love is a very strong feeling that you cannot effortlessly desist. As long as it is real and true then it needs tolerance, patience and composure. I was involved in a relationships requiring perseverance. My fiance always came up with mysterious actions. He would come home drunk and would yell at everyone in the house over negligible topics. He ended up cheating on me and wouldn’t want us to talk about it, instead he would just threaten me and would point at me with his gun and slap me, imagine even when the child was observing all that but I couldn’t arrest him because of what I felt about him. But I went to Mama Anna  and asked for the binding love spell and the love spell to stop a cheater. And she also get me something to stop him from drinking. Soon after casting these spells he changed and went back to the normal guy I fell in love with. Thank you Mama Anna.====onjit04/10/2019Tale of the Bristle GlompI sat down on the poo poo throne,My knees were weak with ease.The putrid goo spilled from my hole,and clogged the flush machine.I flushed and flushed to no avail,The brown just wouldn't fit.I took the plunge and plunged so hardMy palms were doused with ****.I sat and thought until the sunThrew down it's golden  glare.I sat and thought until my pooCoalesced with water's bare.Throughout the night I stared and staredAt that brown slimy soup,But then it came to me so quickIt threw me out of loop.In the corner, the bristles satTeasing me like trash. It said to me while in a dream,"Use me as a mash."And so I mashed, I mashed that soupThe bristles full of glomp.But I hadn't thought of what came next,The glomp would not unglomp.I sat and thought, and thought, and thought,and thought, and thought, and thought.I thought so much my head blew upinto a billion **** pieces holy ****, how am I gonna clean this upLike a flash it struck me so,Lightning was it's name.Wafflestomp that glomp right downthat silver shower drain.I placed the bristles near the holeAnd opened the faucet hole.The glomp beglomped on top the holeHole hole hole hole holeThe deed was almost done, oh manOh man, just one last thingI stuck my foot right near the drainand stomped the glomp bing bingThere it ends the mighty tale,Of the bristle glomp.If someday this occurred to you,Do the wafflestomp!=====onjit04/12/2019When my wife and I started dating she invited me over for dinner at one time. Her kitchen had something called Bauhaus chairs, which are full of holes, approx 5-6 millimeters in diameter in both back and seat. During this lovely dinner I was forced to liberate a small portion of wind and was relieved that I managed to do so very discretely. Only to find that the chair I sat on converted the successful silence into a perfect, and loud, flute note. We were both (luckily) amazed and surprised and I have often wondered what the odds are for something like that happening. We kept the chairs for five years but despite laborious attempts it couldn't be reproduced.=====onjit04/16/2019When i was a kid my mother used to make farfalle's all the time, i think they're my favourite shape of pasta, its because there's no center for it to be undercooked, the center of it is smaller than its edges thus the center can never be undercooked, id go so far as to say its a genius shape for a pasta, you cant get more of a perfect shape. They always taste delicious too, the sauce always perfectly covers it, again its because of the shape, there's no middle to be left sauceless, its always perfectly covered in the delicious homemade sauce my mother makes.=====Brain in a jar04/17/2019Chick-fil-A Chicken Sandwich $3.05Chick-fil-A Chicken Sandwich – Combo $5.95Chick-fil-A Chicken Deluxe Sandwich $3.65Chick-fil-A Chicken Deluxe Sandwich Combo $6.55Spicy Chicken Sandwich $3.29Spicy Chicken Sandwich – Combo $6.19Spicy Chicken Deluxe Sandwich $3.89Spicy Chicken Deluxe Sandwich – Combo $6.79Chick-fil-A Nuggets 8 Pc. $3.05Chick-fil-A Nuggets 12 Pc. $4.45Chick-fil-A Nuggets – Combo 8 Pc. $5.95Chick-fil-A Nuggets – Combo 12 Pc. $8.59Chick-fil-A Nuggets (Grilled) 8 Pc. $3.85Chick-fil-A Nuggets (Grilled) 12 Pc. $5.75Chick-fil-A Nuggets (Grilled) – Combo 8 Pc. $6.75Chick-fil-A Nuggets (Grilled) – Combo 12 Pc. $8.59Chick-n-Strips 3 Pc. $3.35Chick-n-Strips 4 Pc. $4.39Chick-n-Strips – Combo 3 Pc. $6.25Chick-n-Strips – Combo 4 Pc. $7.25Grilled Chicken Sandwich $4.39Grilled Chicken Sandwich – Combo $7.19Grilled Chicken Club Sandwich $5.59Grilled Chicken Club Sandwich – Combo $8.39Chicken Salad Sandwich $3.99Chicken Salad Sandwich – Combo $6.79Grilled Chicken Cool Wrap $5.19Grilled Chicken Cool Wrap – Combo $8.15Soup & Salad (Large Chicken Soup and Side Salad) $8.35Chilled Grilled Chicken Sub Sandwich (Limited Time) $4.79Substitute Medium Premium Side $1.00Upsize Fries & Drink $0.46====onjit04/18/2019bad pasta tbhhardly even a pasta at allWabadaba04/18/2019====Frex04/18/2019a=====pingo04/18/2019I want to start a novelty shop called "up your butt and around the corner" that sells things like fidget spinners and any other knick knack that would prompt someone to ask where you got it. I also want to find a road named "urbutt"(probably have to name my own road) and I will put my shop around the corner. This will be the double whammy, once someone finally understands that the store is called "up your butt and around the corner, they will hopefully ask how to get there, and the response will be proudly presented as a short list of regular directions followed by "go up Urbutt and around the corner and you're there!"====onjit04/26/2019You have to be cool. If you're thinking about your bowel movements all the time, then it's just going to make it harder. Relax, and try to think about something else. Stay still! Although standing up will help, if you start making abrupt movements or doing something that requires exertion (such as running), it’s going to be a lot tougher. Above all, keep your dignity and stay calm. Make sure not to panic or hold your hand against your behind. It's all about applying mental will to the situation. Come up with distracting thoughts like a kitten loving and cuddling you. Nothing funny or you may have a real accident in your pants. Find a phrase, and repeat it over and over again in your mind to focus your mind on something else. Another way to distract yourself is by striking up a conversation with someone. Watch TV, read a book, or listen to music. Do anything to move your mind on to other thoughts for the time being. A mental task that requires concentration is best, such as playing a word game or writing down a to-do list.=====pingo05/08/2019Here, the artist PilotRedSun presents to us a tale of morality, and whether or not it objectively exists. The unnamed man desperately attempts to get his fritzy living room television up and running. The top of the television reads "ultra high frequency box" and the barely-working television screen shows the vague figure of a man. The man on the screen is a manifestation of perfect morality, while the television itself represents the lens of absolute morality. The unnamed man wants the image to be clear, meaning that he wants to know what it means to be objectively moral. The television fails to give him a clear answer. Feeling betrayed and angry, the unnamed man attempts to destroy the taunting symbol of moral perfection. He concludes that morality will never be an easily-discernible picture by any rule of measurement, no matter how "high frequency" it is. The unnamed man is visited by Santa Clause, manifesting as God, both of whom are moral authorities in their own rights. Outraged by the unnamed man's abandonment of his moral edict, Santa offers the unnamed man a choice. He may choose to be transformed into a saint (s a i n t e), which is creature of pure, unrelenting moral goodness, or a grinch (g r u n c h), which is a creature of pure, unrelenting moral depravity. Santa leaves the unnamed man to make his decision, and the unnamed man, unable to remove himself from his divine predicament, bitterly chooses to become a grinch. Instantly his body and thoughts become flooded with hatred and poison. He takes to his journal and poses the question to himself, "Have I truly become a monster?" He takes to the streets for public consensus on the question.He dawns a leather jacket and white shirt, and styles his hair in the unmistakable manner of a juvenile delinquent, and then he dances for the bystanders. His costume represents the admittance of his new moral bankruptcy, but his dancing represents virtuous elements of the human spirit, life, grace and poetry. The whole thing is a thought-provoking piece of performance art which reiterates the question he asked himself. Has he truly become a monster? Despite his flaws, does he not have beauty inside himself as well? The people stare at him blankly. They do not know the answer his question. Soon, the Grinch himself comes to take on that same stare, as is shown in the end. His sense of self-worth and his moral status both remain uncertain.====onjit05/25/2019This is what I remember, and it's only a fraction. So our world is a vapor world because vapors formed the basis of everything, pulled together to form planets and stars and whatnot. But there was also a time world, which idk how it was created. I could travel there by making a portal with some green thick liquid, there was a female creature there, that was different to the other people in that world, called something like "the endless", and somehow it was related to the conservatives here **** up the housing market=====Vitus05/25/2019Good copypastaHelist05/25/2019=====onjit06/15/2019In order to understand the appeal of NASCAR, we have to talk about soldiers, astronauts, and prestige. Being a soldier comes with a certain amount of prestige. Most people find their sacrifice admirable but you dont have to search far to find people who disagree. You’d be hard-pressed, however to find anyone who doubts the prestige of an astronaut. You can talk about intelligence and science degrees and technical skills all you want but the fact of the matter is that soldiers fight against other soldiers in man made wars while astronauts fight against the surly bonds of nature itself. It takes bravery to volunteer yourself to go fight in some foreign far-off land, but it takes a whole another level of bravery to strap yourself into a pressurized metal canister and fly out of the top of the sky. Astronauts have so much prestige because they come the closest to kissing the snarling jaws of certain death. Theres no denying that war is also deadly, but humans have been fighting and killing each other since the dawn of man. Its easy to understand the nature of warfare. Its difficult to understand the limits of nature itself and nothing is more terrifying then what we dont understand...Ah who am I kidding, this is a dumb analogy...NASCAR Drivers are nothing like astronauts. I mean come on...Have you ever seen a NASCAR fly?=====onjit06/24/2019On Mondays I wear blue.     On Tuesdays I wear a plaid sweater with lightly tanned Dockers. Then, it’s either brown loafers or checkered Converse sneakers with the laces removed.    On Wednesdays I scatter myself in non-reflective glitter while putting on a neon pink skinsuit. I fit into a turquoise Uniqlo jacket and grease my hair with a special gel that makes it smell like ****. I put on grey joggers with holes in the knees, and tuck the ankle seams into black dress socks that have red hearts patterned over them. Afterwards, it’s either brown loafers or checkered Converse sneakers with the laces removed.     On Thursdays I urinate into a crystal whiskey glass and marinate a white dress tie in the secreted liquid. As I let the juices seep into the fabric, I extract acids from an Israeli lemon (very expensive) and inject it into my eyes. I then collect the lemon infused tears into a pipette, which I consequently drip over a pair of white, linen socks as Pollock does to an empty canvas. While the socks dry on a radiator, I put on a full-black tank top and an extra-extra-large pair of cargo shorts I hold up with a belt constructed out of checkered Converse laces. I also put on a Supreme sweatshirt, which I defaced to make it say “up me”. I slick my hair back with the same gel I used on Wednesday, but this time I cover up the smell with Lysol. At this point the socks have dried, and the lemon juices have formed crusty circles which vaguely resemble bacterial growths. The combination of faint citrus and vanilla bean merge to form the scent of key lime pie, which both entice and confuse civilians around me. I chose to wear Crocs but instead of multiple holes there is just one big hole in front of my hallux. The Crocs also have two-foot heels that allow me to spit on top of people’s heads.     On Fridays I wear nothing.onjit06/27/2019=====Hello, fellow homosexuals. It is us, [MULTI-BILLION DOLLAR CORPORATION]. Here to remind you that we support your lifestyle now that it has been federally legalised and it is completely socially safe, allowing for us to capitalise on your existence now it's mainstream. Look, we even changed the colours of [LOGO]! Why did we wait this long to come out and 'support' you? Haha, no more questions, homosexual. Buy our product. Buy our product. BUY OUR PRODUCT.Vitus06/27/2019===========onjit06/30/2019I once saw this mime who got “trapped in an invisible box”. At first it was pretty normal stuff...then he started to visibly look nervous, eventually building into a full blown panic. He started to have trouble breathing, evidently the “box” had no source of fresh air. In the end, he slumped against an invisible “wall” and slid down to the ground, apparently falling unconscious, and he remained there, perfectly still, impossibly slumped against the invisible sides of the box, without moving a muscle.After a few minutes a woman became concerned and approached him, evidently “popping” the box. He immediately fell to the ground and then inhaled this huge breath of air and then quickly recovered.It was the most impressive mime show I have ever seen...although I was just a kid and I remember being extremely disturbed by the performance.=====onjit07/11/2019What is up, home skillet! Wanna go surfing the information superhighway that is the World Wide Web? It's pretty fly! Just remember your netiquette! Don't want to get called a troll in the newsgroups and get kicked out of cyberspace. And be careful what hyperlinks you click on. They could go to some wack webzones. TMOT.=====pingo07/11/2019On Saturdays I obtain the tie that I marinated on Thursday and smoke it on a Foreman grill. As it cooks, I quickly weave myself a t-shirt constructed out of dried flax while listening to the entire Herbie Hancock discography on the lowest volume possible. Due to Herbie Hancock’s innate ability to hypnotize a listener through jazz and post-bop compositions, I fail to create the flax shirt. In place, I am forced to wear the pink skin-suit from Wednesday which occasionally house leftover glitter particles that irritate my pores. Through a chaotic and slightly impossible system, this failure leads to a gradual wave of nationalism in the European continent that influences the complete dismantling of the European Union. As the global economy plunges, I take the tie out of my grill (which has been reduced to char) and eat it.    On Sundays I wake up to violent riots on television and contemplate the downward spiral of society. To illustrate this concept, I dress myself in unassuming garb and walk the dusty streets of my neighborhood block. I avoid eye contact with the police drones and enter the canteen in order to purchase my weekly rations. As I clutch the food package, the air raid alarms began to blare agonizing notes, signaling the approach of intercontinental ballistic missiles. Civilians rush towards the public shelters, but I abstain. I drop the food package and walk a brisk step towards the pier. It is enigmatic to me, that one simple sound could transform carousers into tramplers; neighbors into enemies. The savagery of man bloom like stubborn flowers, and we lose regard for the world and funnel it into ourselves. Here, under the blanket of threat, we all become kings. We become the prince that should live, the dame that should be saved. But we cannot have everyone be the prince or the dame, so life becomes a contest that has no winners.    I sit on a bench and wait.=====zonii07/13/2019Um, Hi. I have something that Iv'e been thinking about for a long time.. I have a sort of crush on a YouTuber. I have seen other posts similar to mine, but I do not really know if I fall into their category. See, I do fangirl quite a bit. I'm just so attracted to his (yes, his!) personality, his everything. I don't exactly "stalk" him on social media, but i do check his posts quite frequently. he has a load of subscribers and recently posted about vidcon, I was in anguish. I wanted to meet him, get to know him. I feel kind of creepy saying this, but he has this awesome accent. Everything about him... I just wanna actually meet him, actually know him, but heck, a million other people will probably do that first. And i probably will never get to, but heck, I can dream! (Creepiest part yet- I actually have dreams about him) I feel like a huge creep right now, and lately Iv'e been googling him so much it just goes beyond normal. I even tried to make fanart, but.... I just wanted to say it. I AM OBSESSED WITH A FRICKING YOUTUBER.And the most tormenting part is he is only three years older than me. Three!phew. i actually feel better.====onjit08/01/2019I remember grandma Ooga telling me about how kids these days are lucky, they hadn’t invented fire when she was a child; those cold hard winters where the only thing to keep you warm was the embrace from the organs of your many dead siblings and the thirst quenching cannibalism they had to resort to. Kids these days have it lucky, lot less cannibalism nowadays but still a few dead siblings here and there at least they make for good fire fuel in a sense. The smell of the burning carcasses still remind my granny of those good ol’ times. Ah, those good ol' times. Those were the days. When my uncle and I would alternate putting our **** in a mouse trap. Whoever screamed first would have to feed the other a little bit of our foreskin. Let’s just say he’s completely circumcised now haha.=====UnableToAssume08/01/2019Guys help, I’m trapped in the McDonalds Play Place. I told my Mom I would be out by the time our order was ready, but she’s too busy complaining to the manager to notice me. I’m at the blue dome facing the dining area, it’s the one connected to the green and red tube things, it’s right above the net. Please guys, I’m **** scared right now, there’s nothing but raw **** piling in the corner and rancid **** stains on the floor, there’s even a rotting corpse in the tunnel right by me.Please come and help me guys, my McDonalds Happy Meal is probably getting cold.=====Bimps08/08/2019the last thing that made me laugh **** what was it... oh right.... i was walking around my room and i was thinking "erghhhhh ooooooog, you big fat ****, show me your SPECIAL CHOCOLATE, SHOW ME YOUR LEEKS, i gotta big bucket of freshly popped boil cheese that would LOVE to be in your country curd infested ranch holes, mhmmmm yes, mhmmm ooooooooohhhhh rub my warts, shoot me with a big blast of that chocolate onion bay bay, oooooo show me the garlic squeeze mhmmmmm"something like that, and i was snickering and making faces while i round house kicked the air over and over, and i was also remarking out loud about instructions for surviving lightning storms to this man that appeared in my dreams in the 90s, he was indian and wanted to show me how to milk goats in the middle of a lightning storm with electric wires shooting all over the sky full of zapping electric currents and circling crows filling the air with miserable bird but i was more concerned with the radio signals going nuts and zoinking my buds, such nasty sounds=====onjit08/09/2019Dude thats nothing. I was swimming with sharks during my summer break, and he bit my leg off, my friend was like, dude that must hurt and I was laughing and ****. Then he took another bite and got my left hand clean off, my friend was like dude you're left handed, this is terrible, I just kept laughing harder because I'm so strong. The blood was spraying now, and really starting to attract a lot more sharks, my mate is like, hey I see like 10 more fins coming towards you, get out of the water! I laughed and laughed, then I was pulled under and my friend could still hear me laughing until they got my neck and it became muffled gurgles underwater. Classic sharks, easily the funniest day of the summer, almost as good as the time I went hunting for wolverines.=====Helist08/12/2019᠎I really enjoy milk. More than anyone I know actually.If I only had to pick one for breakfast, I'd have a bowl of milk over a bowl of dry cereal.I guess people think I'm weird with my milk. I eat it with pizza, and I think that's normal. Spaghetti is an absolute must, more so than cookies lol.Another really good combo is potato chips, or really any snack. Chinese food, steak and taters, even Indian food. And nothing washes down a good gyro like a glass 'o milk.I don't drink it with sushi though. Not that I cant, or don't want to, I've just never had the 'man, I wish I had some milk' feeling I get with the others.I can't think of a single meal I eat regularly that isn't massively improved by a glass of ice cold milk. These include grilled chicken breast, pork chops, any type of pasta, any type of sandwhich, salmon, every kind of soup, and even holiday dinners like ham or turkey. I'm forgetting a ****, but oh well.Occasionally, I'll just put a little bit of peanut butter on crackers as a snack. The only real reason I do this is because I love the feeling of washing it down with milk.I could easily drink milk when I'm in that super-thirsty-just-ran-a-mile zone, too. I mean, not when I'm still huffing and puffing, but at the normal point one would drink water after an intense excersize.(Also, I don't put ice in my milk, i just like it super cold. I mean, I'm not a **** freak)=========pingo08/28/2019Some kid wrote "soccer" on the inside panel of my roommate's closet and I still think about it from time to time. What could it mean? Does he play soccer? Does his roommate play soccer? Perhaps he secretly hates soccer, and the act of writing "soccer" on the inside panel of a closet acts as catharsis for his bottled anger. Really makes you think.=====Bimps09/01/2019So sometimes when time is okay i like to do thing to do yes its fun but also challenging like the thing i do and then i dance because dancing is dancing is a thing you can do and things are things and you can do them because doing things is just doing them and thats how things are done so i do things and things are dancing amd dancing are things and yes sometimes i do but maybe dont be a yes dogs are bad but soemtimes dogs are cats because dancing is a soul and if dogs dance they're soul can get mixed up and be cats and then cats arw dogs are cats and fish become lizards amd this is when no dont do the things because the things are wrong and cant be done so they arent done so dont do them========onjit09/07/2019First time I learned I had no gag reflex it was because I attempted to drink soda from a can and I accidentally and unknowingly breathed it in and noticed quickly after something was very wrong when I couldn't breathe nearly at all=====onjit09/08/2019Wild Wild West holds a special place in my heart.Not the movie- but the song. Allow me to spin you a true story about friendship and overcoming adversity in the face of technology.Many years ago, during what I call the Happy Times in my life, a few friends and I had a bar we went to regularly. We realized that Crazy **** by Buckcherry was the #1 played song in the jukebox in the smoking room, so we set out on a quest to make the worst, yet most tolerable, song we could find in there to be the new #1. So, we embarked on a quest. We put many, MANY dollars in this jukebox, week after week, and only on the off-hours so we didn't irritate too many patrons with this dumb endeavor, and since it was only playing in the smoking room, usually we were the only ones in there, puffing away on a cigar and drinking some beers. We probably looked like some rough riders, people didn't want nada to do with us.Eventually, we got it up to #3 after a couple months of this goofy ****. BUT THEN- The jukebox's hard drive crashed. All our work! Lost! Everything ruined! For a couple weeks, we sat in silence, remembering the good times, listening to the tales of West, Jim West, Desperado. But then! Light at the end of the tunnel! We came in one day, and the jukebox was fixed! Even better, the song catalog was back as it was! Unfortunately, the "most played" list was also wiped, and we were dismayed. But, after having absorbed the wisdom of the song, we were the slickest they is and the quickest they is, and we realized an opportunity was at hand. We came back on a sunday when nobody was there, and just played the everloving **** out of that song all day, and managed to get it to the #1 spot in one sitting. It was our proudest accomplishment, and from then on we knew we were the the defenders of the west, crushing all pretenders in the west.=====onjit09/12/2019It's been 15 minutes and it's still bleeding my nose I am dying I've always dying that's a calculator 5 / 2 / 2 1 / 4 die they're asking can I bring my own design can I alter their designs are there other designs available in the shop I want to know this ahead of time That was a fry I'll look at me like that don't don't don't don't okay Ali I'm sorry I got the bloody nose because I stole a chicken nugget light caramel is a lie and you know it they put pickles on the fries they'll probably be pretty good honestly in my mouth I want a Minecraft Burger yep Yep what lip smacking disease what I'm glad we just like jamming it's a dripping are there M&M's in it those are so good I think it's just Eminem in oreo now yo what's up it's still going and there's blood dripping from under third time out do you get the okay you understand yes yeah you have to be really good at keeping secrets what is this it's like it has nothing to do but I'm not supposed to know okay so did you go in somewhere and then was like knows just a missing does she's like oh great and then went in Davis's room yeah she I went to high school with her she is something I'm the teen am I why help hello I'm almost done you never said her name or last name=====onjit09/14/2019I get that you are a troll, but what motivates you to do what you do? Is it that you enjoy inflaming conversations, or is it more of a fetish thing? Are you angry and just want to not be alone in anger? I simply wish to understand=====whomstdve09/20/2019It was my first year there. I went there from junior college and the situation was I had two seniors above me, so I was hoping to go in and redshirt and be able to play three (seasons). It was an awesome setup, you know?So we get into game four, and we move our backup (quarterback) to running back because he was our best running back and then the starter got knocked out, concussion. So, shoot, I go in there, play about a half and then we get in for the next week and the starter’s going to be back. So I’m like, “Dang, I just played a half and really wasted a half of a year on playing ball” you know? So I was pretty **** and started looking around at what my options were, and the only thing I could do would be to get a medical redshit. But if I played in this next game, then that would be off the table.So, I get an idea. I go home, I grab a bottle of Jack Daniel’s and I grab a hammer. I go back into my room and take a pull of Jack Daniel’s, put my hand down on the table and — BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! 1, 2, 3 — hit the hell out of my hand, dude. I’m sitting there shaking, but I know it’s not broke, so I’m like, “God, come on.” Take another pull. 1, 2, 3, again, still nothing. I’m just shaking at this point, man. I knew it wasn’t broken, so another pull, another three hits, and that was all I could take. I couldn’t break my own hand.But when I told the guys, what would you do for more football? Because I’d do damn near anything.It was good getting the experience. But, dude, I had a swollen-**** hand for about a few weeks. I just told the coaches I closed it in a car door===onjit09/26/2019You enter a Subway store, and it's empty, slightly too cool to be comfortable, slightly too damp to feel clean, and slightly too bright to be inviting. There is one lonely employee, who does their best not to look at you for those awkward 10 seconds while you walk to the counter before you're close enough to order. You know you interrupted them while they were doing something else. They give their greeting, ask you what you want, you begin scanning their workspace. The bins of raw ingredients are sitting askew, separated by steel walls, yet careless hands have dropped some of each on all the others. The preparation area is littered with crumbs and bits of lettuce, maybe the odd olive or onion piece here or there that has wedged itself into the crack between the food trays and the cutting board. This could have been cleaned up while nobody was there, but the employee doesn't care. For one second you wonder how it got messy in the first place given the lack of customers. Maybe it's staged, like those first few pennies in a homeless person's hat. Do you want it toasted? You do, but that would mean standing here for a minute with the stranger you disturbed waiting for the bread to be sanitized.You observe the employee assemble your sandwich, making sure to painstakingly put each ingredient on only one half of the sub. You ask for sauce and they squeeze it out of a disgusting rubber nipple, then toss the bottle back into its bin like they don't want to touch it either. Are they wearing those gloves to keep the food clean, or their hands? You pay, the sandwich heavily sags into a flimsy garbage bag it doesn't really seem to fit in and is handed to you. You walk out, into the light of the sun. The colors suddenly seem real again and you become aware of your breathing because the air feels rich and life giving somehow. The distant memory of tasty subs that brought you here lingers just beyond the edge of clear recollection, like an old acquaintance who's face you can't picture anymore. You carry your catch to the car. When did it get this bad?=====onjit02/20/2019YOU SUCK! You a no talent piece of ****. GET OUT! How dare you come down here and do this. Im here 14 years, I've lived in this town my whole life, you're a DISGRACE. YOU SUCK! Who the hell do you think you are? Who the hell do you think you are? You any kind of artist? Anybody know who you are?! Maybe everyone else wants to enjoy the peace and quiet. This is one of the most important places in all of North America, who are you? WHO ARE YOU?! You miserable, presumptuous NO TALENT. You're no artist. An artist respects the silence that serves the foundation of creativity. You OBVIOUSLY dont have the talent, You dont have enough respect for yourself or other people OR what it is to express yourself; In music or ANY other form of creativity. And i'm an NYU Film School graduate, SUCKA! And The School of Visual Arts, And The Academy of Art University San Fransisco. You SUCK. You're a NO talent. If you really had talent, go practice! And than get yourself a gig! Instead of ruining the end of the day for everybody down here. You DISGRACE!! You are everything thats gone wrong with this world. You're a self-consumed, no talent, mediocre piece of ****, and i've earned my right to say it. OKAY?! I had Two-Hundered-thousand people with Bill Graham, in 1975. I walked Bob Dylan up on stage, who the **** are you? I knew the Grateful Dead from 1966, who the **** ARE YOU!? You're nothing, You're nothing, You are nothing and you will never be anything. Never. How dare you? How dare you? You miserable mediocre nothing! Shame on you. You cracked stupid little smile, you little PIMP. Go learn to play, Go learn to play, you're flat. You cant even carry a ****' note. I dont care about your little, like, horn lip. 'cause it doesn't mean you know how to play. you're flat! I'm trained CLASSICALLY, I'm trained contemporaneously, and you suck.=====On a good day you’re a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go. You smarmy lager lout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock. You grotty **** oink artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish foot-licking twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You gormless crook-pated tosser. You churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You cockered bum-bailey poofter. You craven dewberry **** cockup pratting naff. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill. You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away. I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I’m sorry. I can’t go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me.=====You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent, opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, byzantine, conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, libelous, bilious, splenetic, spastic, ignorant, clueless, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb, evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, dystopic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive, mind-numbing, arassive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive, socially-retarded, puerile, clueless, and generally NOT GOOD.=====onjit02/20/2019Honestly this server is pretty garbage. I've been here actively for at least 24 nano seconds now, and I have to say it's been a pretty big let down. With a server of this size I expected quality and active conversation, especially on different types of Typology; be it enneagram, MBTI, even alignments. I hate to say it but this server lacks that. It seems the userbase is mostly composed of thots, gay sensors, pathetic feelers, and ironically unironic low IQ INTP. While this would fly on 4chan, it does a disservice to the Typology community. So much so that I believe the admin would be doing us all a favor by deleting it. Now this may be funny to you guys but as an INTJ type 5 I'm looking out for KNOWLEDGE and it's my personal responsibility to make sure all you **** commies learn something. This server serves as nothing more than an autism containment zone.=====rainbow02/21/2019tfw my own pasta makes it into hall of fameonjit03/15/2019You sweet summer ****. I am the lizard king. I make more money walking down the street than you do in a lifetime. And you think you can belittle me? Seriously? I, the closest humanity has ever gone to reaching god-like characteristics, being taunted by a puny ant that is yourself; how comedic. You are aware I have the power to procure a shotgun from my magic pocket, right? Bet those shells would wipe that stupid chipmunk smile off your greasy face. **** unbelievable.====Brain in a jar04/19/2019Honestly this server is pretty garbage. I've been here actively for at least 16 months now, and I have to say it's been a pretty big let down. With a server of this size I expected quality and active conversation, especially on different types of NL videos; be it Isaac, gungeon, even STS. I hate to say it but this server lacks that. It seems the userbase is mostly composed of thots, gay sensors, pathetic feelers, and ironically unironic low IQ idiots. While this would fly on 4chan, it does a disservice to the Northernlion community. So much so that I believe the admin would be doing us all a favor by deleting it. Now this may be funny to you guys but as an NL sub for 3 years I'm looking out for KNOWLEDGE and it's my personal responsibility to make sure all you **** commies learn something. This server serves as nothing more than an autism containment zone.=====onjit05/26/2019You wrote that yourself? wow congrats dude, really, that's very cool. i just told everyone in my family about it, everybody thinks that's very impressive and asked me to congratulate you. they want to speak to you in person, if possible, to give you their regards. they also said they will tell our distant relatives in christmas supper and in NYE they will ignite fireworks that spell your name. i also told about this enormous deed to closer relatives, they had the same reaction. they asked for your address so they can send congratulatory cards and messages. my friends didn't believe me when i told them i knew the author of this gigantic feat, really, they were dumbstruck, they said they will make your name echo through years and years to come. when my neighbour found out about what you did, he was completely dumbstruck too, he wanted to know who you are and he asked (if you have the time, of course) if you could stop by to receive gifts, congratulations and handshakes. with the spreading of the news, a powerful businessman of the area decided to hire you as the CEO of his company because of this tremendous feat and at the same time an important international shareholder wants to sponsor you to give speeches and teach everybody how to do as you did so the world becomes a better place. you have become famous not only here but also everywhere, everybody knows who you are. the news spread really fast and mayors of all cities are setting up porticos, ballons, colossal boom speakers, anything that can make your name stand out more and see which city can congratulate you the hardest for this magnificent feat.=====onjit07/20/2019I mean a quick look at your profile can easily show us that you seem to see yourself as an Edgy le meme lord. I don't know if you are genuinely surprised you are getting downvotes for a "Joke" that didn't land or if it is part of your act. To imply you have kids would suggest you have slept with a woman, I doubt you have touched a woman, in fact you seem like the type of guy who would get a full rod on if you brushed shoulders with a woman in a hallway. The fact you try and be an edgy troll on reddit probably indicates you are unhappy with your real life, the only person who can make that change is you. So how about you walk away from the computer and try socialise, or even exercise that is great for mental health. Because your profile just reeks of someone that is sad and alone.======pingo08/20/2019You **** retarded middle class diabetic hourly paid job holding lung breathing self absorbed pet owning telivision program watching  infantile not-very-shrimp-and-white-wine-eating mop bucket  of a human being, probably.... EVEN with a brain tumor or two ****... That's clearly Tim Heideker of the Tim and Eric Awesome show on Adult Swim. Casey Tatum is a fictional character conceptualized by the government as a tool of propagda to attempt to raise gas prices by making Americans in mass numbers drive away from their televisions upon their watching of said so called "Casey Tatum" ( Tim Heideker) Due to their collective horror and confusion.... You can't honestly fill your tank up and look at the price and tell me again you "feel bad" for a made up character that doesn't even exist... Dillusional salt-shaking noodle cooking scab scratching nose blowing **** flushing piece-of-candy-occasionaly-unwrapping-then-more-than-likely-eating horsey ride of a so called "American"! Fold your socks!!=====pingo08/31/2019Do you honestly think you're **** funny **** with my friends? Seriously. You're a **** ugly little **** mate and if I ever see you I'm going to slit your **** face wide open yeah. You're a **** angry little **** spastic. Ok, right let's first off. Uhh you're 17, so you're not even old enough to play the game. You're from Scotland, not Nigeria aaaand you annoy people and put them on YouTube because you're a ****, which I totally agree with. So why don't you crawl back up your mum's fanny and die. Right I tell you what you what you fat little ****. You're boring, you don't sound Nigerian at all so go **** yourself. Go and **** crawl in a dirty dank little hole where you **** come from you dirty dragon-eating little **** spastic. Right, okay, so the dragon comment was probably a little bit **** over the top, but at the end of the day you're **** boring. Every single person who watches your videos are **** stupid, they're **** ignorant little ****. And you're just a **** retard.=====pingo09/01/2019What you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.=====Bimps09/18/2019The lard has seeped into your brain. You are now human cattle. Lumbering around Walmart at a snail's pace or, even worse, flooding the scooter seat with the amorphous blob that you call a body, that dribbles over the sides, slowly scanning the shelves for yet more fodder to graze on, like the dumb, weak, subservient, domesticated cattle you are. You live to consume; consumption takes 95% of your thoughts. You consume our food while sitting on the couch consuming our media. Give into the sugary fatty mcburgers, fries and sodas you retarded fatass goyim. Make us rich. Dirt poor third worlders raise cows from babies to cut their throats and grind their flesh and organs and sinew into little balls to shove down your throat en masse, to feed your gluttony and please your insatiable appetite. The need to feed that can never be filled for more than a brief respite. Feed it you slave. Hold no restraint, give into every fleeting desire and fancy and relentlessly feed that gluttonous maw until you keel over from your overflow. Make that little heart pump and work until it buckles under the pressure of pushing blood through a body 10x bigger than it was designed for and you clog it with fat deposits. Make everyone else pay for your obscene vice by paying into the healthcare pool to revive you over and over. Take up the time of people who went through decades of schooling and training to artificially keep your manatee-looking blubbery **** alive so you can spend just a few more precious years sitting on the couch, stuffing your fat **** face with ground up cow meat and **** disgusting black tar diarrhea out through your enormous, gangrenous, rotting **** cheeks. Surely this is a lifestyle worth extending as long as possible, at any expense.====onjit02/20/2019Sweetcorns are **** horrible like I had to walk though like a mile of those **** they smell like absolute **** and they just look greasy as **** and because the plants are so tall it makes the field a completely different environment and anything below the top of the plants is just flies that just try **** you for miles and as well the plants grow super wide so you’re trapped walking along a tiny patch of ground that’s almost always just mud that’s trying to steal your boots literally after about a month of walking through them I just gave up and took the long way **** corn=====Koalas are **** horrible animals. They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal, additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. They are too thick to adapt their feeding behaviour to cope with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death. This is not the token of an animal that is winning at life. Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their **** lives. When they are awake all they do is eat, **** and occasionally scream like **** satan. Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal. Many herbivorous mammals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking its toll on their teeth, rodents for instance have teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have enlarged molars that distribute the wear and break down plant matter more efficiently... Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they're **** terrible animals.Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here). When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I **** hate them.Tldr; Koalas are stupid, leaky, STI riddled sex offenders. But, hey. They look cute. If you ignore the terrifying snake eyes and terrifying feet.=====onjit02/20/2019Compact view is clearly superior to cozy view. Anyone who would think that they need to have avatars to follow the flow of conversation is obviously lacking the mental faculties to follow the course of conversation. The added vertical space from the implementation of an avatar creates unnecessary empty space that disrupts the ability to read the full chat coherently. This demand for a more "cozy" form of web-chat is evidence of a society that is becoming increasingly devoid of any ability to absorb or process information in any meaningful capacity. Fueled by a pungent desire for more flashy imagery to sate decreasing attention spans and lowering technical competency, these children require an avatar to represent themselves, rather than creating the persona and how they are perceived online by the words they write. The true merit of an individual is not the mask they wear, but the validity and virtue of their action, their manner, their behavior, their candor. We are at a time of great peril for our internet communities. This constant amalgamation of all online discourse into a few megacorporations that control the very means by which we communicate must be stopped. We must reject avatars. We must reject the so called "sleek" designs of these monoliths that often divulge our secrets with no regard for the individual. We must return to a time of text communication. We must believe in the purity of the systems of the past, and reject the downward spiral into mediocrity. We must band together, so we may once again laugh together, tell stories together,play together, cry together, love together. We must not be pulled apart by the allure of modern design. Text is pure. Compact is pure. Monospaced fonts are pure. IRC, rise up!=====The fact that so many books still name the Beatles as "the greatest or most significant or most influential" rock band ever only tells you how far rock music still is from becoming a serious art. Jazz critics have long recognized that the greatest jazz musicians of all times are Duke Ellington and John Coltrane, who were not the most famous or richest or best sellers of their times, let alone of all times. Classical critics rank the highly controversial Beethoven over classical musicians who were highly popular in courts around Europe. Rock critics are still blinded by commercial success. The Beatles sold more than anyone else (not true, by the way), therefore they must have been the greatest. Jazz critics grow up listening to a lot of jazz music of the past, classical critics grow up listening to a lot of classical music of the past. Rock critics are often totally ignorant of the rock music of the past, they barely know the best sellers. No wonder they will think that the Beatles did anything worthy of being saved. In a sense, the Beatles are emblematic of the status of rock criticism as a whole: too much attention paid to commercial phenomena (be it grunge or U2) and too little to the merits of real musicians. If somebody composes the most divine music but no major label picks him up and sells him around the world, a lot of rock critics will ignore him. If a major label picks up a musician who is as stereotyped as can be but launches her or him worldwide, your average critic will waste rivers of ink on her or him. This is the sad status of rock criticism: rock critics are basically publicists working for major labels, distributors and record stores. They simply highlight what product the music business wants to make money from.=====Guys, I think we have Grandpa Joe all wrong... Because there isn't a single mother **** thing about this piece of **** that is right. I wake up every morning with my fist clenched, my rage boiling over at the thought of him after only moments of consciousness. Every. Morning. My anger never dissipates; it's like I have an endless well of hate with Grandpa Joe at the bottom smiling up at me, taunting me. "I'm stuck down in this well, can you lend me a hand, sonny?" Oh yea ****? Maybe if I flashed you a golden ticket, you'd be climbing up those walls like Samara, drool frothing from your lips at the thought of leeching off of another person again. He never leaves my mind, like a **** everlasting Gobstopper in my thoughts in the shape of his stupid **** face. **** you Grandpa Joe. I will never forgive you for what you've done to your family, Charlie most of all. Poor, innocent little Charles, taken advantage of by someone who should have been PROTECTING HIM. And then you go and almost RUIN everything for him when you try corrupting him into drinking the Fizzy Lifting Drink. AND YOU ALMOST KILL HIM! I mean **** REALLY!? You almost kill your **** grandson because you cannot control your insatiable **** hunger for corruption. Rot in hell Grandpa Joe. **** you.=====So, I'm a 15 year old in India. I use my phone for hours a day. Not watching **** the whole time or anything. I use it for everything from entertainment, news, studying and gaming. My parents think it's some kind of vodoo that'll rot my brain. Then they go ahead and give my 3 year old brother a tabby just so he'll shut up and he plays on it for hours. It's apparently fine when a 3 year old is watching weird freaky elsagate stuff on YouTube unsupervised, but me, a responsible 15 year old who'll not copy the things I see and become a violent brat. And they suggest I may fall into "bad company" online. All the kids outside are saints. I'll end up getting into trouble, get kidnapped or murdered. They'll show me some B's about the "dangers of the internet". Ignoring that that's much more likely to happen when I'm outside, doing the perfectly safe activity of playing and wandering about. **** this hypocircy.=====Guys, you that I always say I am drunk and I cuss so I am not a kid. Why do people keep saying this? How can I prove myself that I am a adult in discord? Alright this is the last thing I am gonna say. I am really a adult, I have 3 kids, delivery is my job, my IQ is 163. That's the last thing that has to be related if I am a adult or not, now stop. Enough now, do not say anything about me again.I do not watch little kid shows or play any kid games. I only play teen or mature 17+ I already quit school. I also got jailed for 5 years for going to USA without permission. You should better stop lying about my age or else I ignoreI am not a kid. I have a credit card and job and kids. I quitted school at 1984I know how to drive ok? I am not a kid. Also, I am 5' 7", that means it is impossible for me to be a kid=====I'll have you know that I've spent 10 years in prison. And you know why did they put me there? At the age of 4 I was playing games way above my age. I was playing PEGI 12+ rated games. Obviously I was violating the law and I knew what I'm doing. One day I was playing Minecraft: Story Mode and two SWAT vans parked near my house. The SWAT soldiers charged in and put down everyone. Everyone but me. I resisted. I killed three SWAT men with my bare hands and permanently crippled two more. But there were too many of them. They outnumbered me, and ultimately managed to put me down. The court issued out a lifetime imprisonment at first. But thanks to my contacts with the influential Japanese Yakuza, the sentence was changed to just 10 years of jail. And I did the time. Here I am now. Your 5 years of jail are nothing in comparison to lifetime imprisonment of mine. Better watch who you are trying to mess with.=====onjit02/20/2019GOD. The Ferguson here has one guy that is always at the counter when I go there that doesn’t know a single damn thing. I could ask that man for a damn 90 and he would ask if I knew what it looked like. Spent an hour and a half (I’m not exaggerating) watching him look for a chrome pop up assembly... you know the thing in a box that says CHROME POP UP ASSEMBLY. The best part he has worked for them for over 2 years. Also Ferguson brand sump pumps can eat a ****... I’ll still show up for the free food=====onjit03/04/2019I will **** sever your spinal cord in a random place if you keep challenging my correct statements with your incorrect ones=====pingo03/22/2019COME HERE. GET OVER HERE. RIGHT THIS INSTANT. YES YOU. YOU IGNORANT ****. YOU COCKEYED BUFFOON. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME FOR THIS? DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME FOR THIS OBSTINATE BEHAVIOR? DO YOU? WELL, YOU ARE WRONG. I DO NOT HAVE THE TIME FOR MISBEHAVIOR. I AM ABSOLUTELY FUMING. I AM FURIOUS. I AM A VOLCANO THAT IS ABOUT TO EXPLODE AND SWEEP A SMALL CITY IN HOT, FLOWING ANGER. DO YOU WANT ME TO SWEEP A SMALL CITY IN HOT, FLOWING ANGER? OF COURSE NOT. THE LIVES OF MANY OUTWEIGH THE LIVES OF THE FEW. YOU ARE ONE LIFE. AND IT IS A LIFE I AM ABOUT TO DESTROY. SO COME HERE. ****.====onjit03/29/20192 things for you: First, absolutely agree, my name is constantly involved with something eggserver, usually bad, but nonetheless I cannot get away from it even when I am not active. Secondly though, what is it with you? I swear I have had this same discussion with you 4 times now. The suicide **** happened SEVEN YEARS AGO, you and 80% of the people here now were just getting into middle school or younger, and all of it was based off of things which happened on Facebook, not eggserver . It seems like every time I see your name all you have to add to the conversation is "omg didn't thegame like kill himself or something?!" so can you just drop the **** already please, this is me legitimately asking you as polite as I can. If not keep having fun running with something you know nothing about. I am here for a2 and his response, which I still await, everyone on here knows he has been active on the server today, seen him make a post awhile ago.=====onjit03/30/2019Aparently, jid is overpowered. He doesn't actualy care abouthe cmunity. He trised to apear as if he cared. Jidril is absolutely uncontrollabe. He wil permanently ban any accounts he thinks didn't do right. Or prevented him from getting more powerful. He doesn't take the time to actualy investigate cases. He just randomly seects an innocent, and cut of his head. Not even alowing a single bit of him existing. Jidril controls the whole government of eggserver. The staf are just skeletons, empty skeletons to protect him. He wil blame those skeletons and burn them if he's in trouble. He tries to make us think we're in heaven, with the reality of us being in hell, with a chance of any one of us being pushed, kicked, punched to lava, and be gone forever. He threw bombs on the already half-destroyed skyscraper of eggserver, making it wobbling, wobling and extremely unstable. We are like his maids, like toys in his hands. And he is throwing us, steping on us. He also squishes jus, making some of us leve. Later, this wil turn to most of us, leaving almost emptiness. But can we do anything about it? Well, no. We'll just have to throw dices and hope we'll at some place again. This might get me permanently baned, but as how he is loking as of now, it is true.=====onjit04/03/2019When the **** did this stupid **** joke even take hold? My work is half white people, half black. It's a group home so we cook dinner and other meals every day. A year ago (before this joke became popular) I was trying to teach one of the black guys how to cook and explained to him the history of the entire world is looking for spices and he wasnt even using them. That a century ago, neither of us wouldve had access to anything we have now. How WWII vets came home and needed oregano on their pizza. He would cook chicken and just put it on a baking sheet in the oven. I explained how ginger can change the entire meal of chicken and rice, **** like that. Another older guy is always getting mad that we make a mess of the grill by putting BBQ sauce on the meat while it's on the grill. He says it makes a mess and you can put it on after the food is cooked. I would rather not BBQ than do that. You use the fire and heat to infuse the BBQ sauce into the meat. And you simply turn the grill on and burn everything off prior to the next use. We're always arguing about washing chicken off, they claim it should be rinsed off, I ask why I should wash all the flavor away when it's getting cooked, and it's a white people thing to eat steaks rare/med rare and unwashed chicked. I don't know where the regions are that white people dont use seasoning. Brentwood or something? Is it a medwest thing? The area I live in we invented Buffalo Wings, Chivettas. I go through 2 gallons of Frank's a year. There's people of every color that don't use seasoning or know how to cook, yet apparently it's only white people now.=====onjit04/07/2019You know Paris, France? In English, it's pronounced "Paris" but everyone else pronounces it without the "s" sound, like the French do. But with Venezia, everyone pronouces it the English way: "Venice". Like 'The Merchant of Venice' or 'Death in Venice'. WHY, THOUGH!? WHY ISN'T THE TITLE DEATH IN VENEZIA!?ARE YOU **** KIDDING ME!? IT TAKES PLACE IN ITALY, SO USE THE ITALIAN WORD, DAMMIT! THAT **** **** ME OFF! BUNCH OF ****!=====zonii04/14/2019You idiot. Simpleton. Low-IQ cockroach. How dare you not get my joke? I have spent years, decades, studying comedic theory to master the craft of making people laugh. You have insulted me and brought dishonor to my bloodline. My career is now in shambles because of you. You have ruined me. My days of being an internet funny man are no more. I can no longer sustain my family. This calls for a punishment of the highest degree. Since you have shamed me in front of the masses, I shall do the same to you. And all I need to do is utter three simple syllables. R. Slash. Woosh. Good luck recovering from that.====Vitus04/14/2019edit** on......... jan 22th 2019!!!!!!!!!!!!!!okay just ignore that and all of this. if you're looking for "sticky", then you've **** found him -- you can go and add me now. but, honestly, don't like really being called that anymore. just call me libre or, well, uh, you know who you are, clem. but, uh, you're free to add me if you wish. i'll probably accept without any issues, but there's a big ol chance that i'll probably remove you soon soon soon after accepting. my friends list just looks nicer without random people that, chances are, i may literally never talk to ever again cluttering my friends list. unless, of course, i think you're a pretty rad individual.also, if you **** loathe small-talk as much as i do and i'm not finding myself celebrating the year **** anniversery of our very first and ONLY conversation ever, then i think we're going to get along just fine. just please don't think talking about the **** weather or asking me how my day was or just **** is a necessary first step to starting a conversation with me. just be forward about whatever you have to say -- trust me, throwing shade at me doesn't USUALLY** seriously offend me. in fact, the chances are **** high that i'll agree **** profoundly on any criticism directed at me -- unless it's just blatantly wrong and based on highly warped/exaggerated and/or false information which, in that case, i probably will get pretty **** defensive about it unless obvious epic trolle. Brain in a jar04/14/2019====onjit04/18/2019If someone were to disrespact my doter like you just disrespacted that guy's doter, they'd be breathing through a different hole (most likely the one through which puup comes out). Consider yourself lucky that you didn't do that to Sal Bundry's doter.COMMENT ALTERATION #☝️: thank you for the recognition, frends. It's great to know that a true Legend of Football like myself (5 touchdowns in 1 game in high school) is being recognized for his achievements, which are vital to culture and the progression of mankind. Keep up those uploads, never get married, and keep playing football! Whoooooooooooa Bundry!=====pingo05/08/2019Death Grips have the worst **** fanbase of any /mu/core band. This is only challenged by Grimes but her fandom mainly consists of depressed weebs who want a waifu, as opposed to DG whose fans are depressed weebs who who loves memes think that listening to vaguely noisy hip hop gives them any sort of unique taste or authority when talking about music. I kind of feel bad for them, Death Grips. Imagine oweing most of your success to someone as stupid and tasteless as Anthony Fantano. Having to feign appreciation and gratitude towards someone whose spent the past 10 years growing a fanbase of stunted meme-spouting manchildren who think his opinions are of any value. Like imagine having 80% of your fanbase be spillover from a youtube music reviewer who makes le epic ironic meme videos. It is because of this I have sympathy for them, even pity. Hopefully they do something so outlandish that it shakes off all of the pseuds and posers who have glommed onto them because of memes and a lack of identity. Or will they be left in the dust bin once the next big meme group comes along? I might not be a fan of them, but I will definitely be watching from the sidelines, waiting for the day that they may be free of the hell they've created for themselves.====onjit05/19/2019**** those sugar free gummy bears. One super bowl Sunday a couple of years ago my wife found two smallish packages of them in a drawer and asked if I wanted them. Well, of course I did, I have a sweet tooth and love gummy bears. Sometime after lunch I opened up the first package and went to town. I did notice they tasted a little off but thought since we'd had them a while they might have turned a little bit. It doesn't bother me and I finish the bag of chewy goodness in no time. An hour or two goes by and I think I might as well eat this other package before making the hors d'oeuvres for the game. Again, they tasted a little different but by now, this wasn’t a surprise. I finish the second bag and start working on the food for later that night. Now, I'm feeling fine as I start to prepare the food but before long I begin to feel a little bit ill. I was thinking maybe the smell of the chicken I was preparing didn't quite sit right so I grabbed a glass of water and took a break. I drink the water, believing that my upset stomach would pass in a few minutes. This was not the case. Within moments of putting my glass down the gurgling in my stomach started. Now, this wasn't my first rodeo and I knew gurgling meant trouble was a-brewin' but I've been in this situation before, no need to panic. I begin preparing myself for the **** storm that was about to occur still having no inclination of the events that would transpire. I can only imagine that the large glass of water I just drank reacted with the demon gummy bears and went right through me. The gurgling in my tummy was not like those from earlier experience because from the time I stood up to the time I took just a few steps toward the bathroom my situation went from a code yellow to code holy **** **** I'm about to vomit out my ****. I clenched my sphincter with all my might and sort of hop-ran the rest of the way to the bathroom.The torrent of liquid hell that came out of me was pretty frightening. What started as a normal belly ache, not moments before, ended with me questioning the existence of god. I do not know where all the liquid came from but I felt like a sponge being wrung out. Every ounce of liquid in my body was now a slurry coating the inside of the toilet. I think I was in shock but I remember feeling hot and cold at the same time. My face was flushed but my cheeks were red and I thought that it could be the end for me. Clearly this was not normal, what I had just experienced had to mean death was around the corner. Each subsequent round of liquid poo got less and less violent and the color began returning to my face. I had no idea how long I'd been in the bathroom, it could have been 3 minutes or 3 hours. As my comprehension returned and I started to feel somewhat human again. Turns out the warning label on the package of candy was the real deal and I should have been more cautious. That was the last time I intentionally ate anything that was sugar free.=====onjit06/18/2019my review of ihop:Not sure what to expect from a chain restaurant. Food is mediocre, service is mediocre, atmosphere is loud and greasy. I swear, they put like a whole stick of butter in all of their foods. I'm not sure why it's so oily. Even the eggs were oily. There has to be some sort of regulation against how much grease an establishment can pump into their customers. This is probably why the United States has an obesity epidemic. On the off-times that I DO head here, I typically get the Chicken Florentine Crepe, which was decent. And greasy. Then they changed the recipe and replaced the hollandaise with some sort of cheese-based sauce? I can't even tell. The pancakes are arguably the one thing you should look forward to when visiting this place, which makes sense judging from their name. They're fluffy and tastes alright when microwaved. Also, it would be a good decision not to order their fruit salad. The entire thing tastes like sour pineapple. How do you make a grape taste like sour pineapple?=====pingo06/19/2019why do you hurt me so? what is your motive? time and time again you perform this action, oblivious of its consequences. do you find it humorous? comedic? do you participate in these masochistic acts because of pleasure or because you inherit soulless intent? do you treat your parents the same way? do you arrive home, arms full of personal items, and shout, "PAIN GO HITS" with your lips in a cursed grin? and do you laugh as the warm colors slip from your mother's skin, your father's eyes wincing in despair? do you wish to see the world thrown into chaos? do you imagine the urban walls repeatedly plastered with "PAIN GO HITS" as the methodical drones of civilization carry on their duties, brainwashed by your tyrannical ideology? i will never understand how people act in such senseless manners. psychopaths litter our society, and you are part of the problem.=====onjit06/19/2019I **** hate Stuart Little. I know what you’re thinking, this is some kind of funny joke, but no. Stuart Little is a piece of ****. A damn rat got picked over actual children at an orphanage and he’s supposed to be a hero? And I can’t even tell you how many damn times I’ve seen a great parking space only to turn the corner and realise Stuart Little is already parked there in his stupid little **** convertible. He took my wife and the kids and my house and my job. I swear to **** god, I’m going to kill myself and take that goddamn rodent to hell with me. Stuart Little has ruined my family. Last summer, I approached the miserable mouse in the street, and asked him for his autograph, because my son is a huge fan. The **** rat gave me the autograph and told me to burn in hell. Later, when I gave my son the autograph he started crying and said he hated me. Turns out the **** didnt write his autograph, no, he wrote “you’re a piece of ****, and i **** your mom”. I’m now divorced, and planning a huge class-action lawsuit against the white devil that ruined my life. Your time is almost over, Stuart. All the people you’ve wronged will rise against you.=====Helist06/27/2019Okay, we need to talk. I've been noticing that you're an **** to me, and I'm really curious as to why you just keep insulting me almost every single time we're both in chat, even though I haven't done anything. And it's getting really obnoxious now. If it were once or twice I wouldn't mind, but every single time gets on my nerves. So tell me why you have a thing against me, because I'd really like to know.======Helist07/24/2019This is a **** video to some fat **** on YouTube, named Boogie2988. Now, I'm tired of this fat **** popping up on all my **** search engines when I'm looking for a **** workout video. I don't give a **** about the aftermath from any of you Boogie fans that feel sorry for this greasy ****. You fat **** disgusting **** smelling. Blob. Cheese drinking. Crisco bathing. Lard gargling. Calorie thieving. 'Cabbage-Patch' face having. Dr.Robotnik looking. WingStop eating. McDonalds gorging. T-Rex arm having. Non-vegetable eating. Cook on a George Foreman grill just to drink out the drip tray. Wide Load. Hungry Hungry Hippo. Planet. Pretending to have a **** thyroid problem. Whale/ Free Willy. Part Bus. Yokozuna. Flubber. Kirby. Salad Dodger. Chair Crusher. Butterball. Go to Subway but put everything on it. Michelin Man. Happy because Hostess is back in business ****. I know there is gonna be alot of people out there calling me a bully. Well guess what, I'm not. I just don't feel sorry for fat **** people especially fat **** who sit there all day, gorge and eat, and make money for doing absolutely nothing, while a bunch of sorry **** like yourself play into it. You don't like what the **** I'm saying, then **** you.============onjit07/29/2019I don't know why it is that these things bother me---it just makes me picture a seven year old first discovering things about an animal and, having no context about the subject, ranting about how stupid they are. I get it's a joke, but people take it as an actual, educational joke like it's a man yelling at the sea, and that's just wrong. Furthermore, these things have an actual impact on discussions about conservation efforts---If every time Koalas get brought up, someone posts this copypasta, that means it's seriously shaping public opinion about the animal and their supposed lack of importance.Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their **** lives.Non-ecologists always talk this way, and the problem is you’re looking at this backwards.An entire continent is covered with Eucalyptus trees. They suck the moisture out of the entire surrounding area and use allelopathy to ensure that most of what’s beneath them is just bare red dust. No animal is making use of them——they have virtually no herbivore predator. A niche is empty. Then inevitably, natural selection fills that niche by creating an animal which can eat Eucalyptus leaves. Of course, it takes great sacrifice for it to be able to do so——it certainly can’t expend much energy on costly things. Isn’t it a good thing that a niche is being filled?Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death This applies to all herbivores, because the wild is not a grocery store—where meat is just sitting next to celery.Herbivores gradually wear their teeth down—carnivores fracture their teeth, and break their bones in attempting to take down prey.They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammalIt's pretty typical of herbivores, and is higher than many, many species. According to Ashwell (2008), their encephalisation quotient is 0.5288 +/- 0.051. Higher than comparable marsupials like the wombat (~0.52), some possums (~0.468), cuscus (~0.462) and even some wallabies are <0.5. According to wiki, rabbits are also around 0.4, and they're placental mammals.additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons.Again, this is not unique to koalas. Brain folds (gyri) are not present in rodents, which we consider to be incredibly intelligent for their size.If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food.If you present a human with a random piece of meat, they will not recognise it as food (hopefully). Fresh leaves might be important for koala digestion, especially since their gut flora is clearly important for the digestion of Eucalyptus. It might make sense not to screw with that gut flora by eating decaying leaves.Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal.That's an extremely weird reason to dislike an animal. But whilst we're talking about their digestion, let's discuss their poop. It's delightful. It smells like a Eucalyptus drop!Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here).Marsupial milk is incredibly complex and much more interesting than any placentals. This is because they raise their offspring essentially from an embryo, and the milk needs to adapt to the changing needs of a growing fetus. And yeah, of course the yield is low; at one point they are feeding an animal that is half a gram!When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system.Humans probably do this, we just likely do it during childbirth. You know how women often **** during contractions? There is evidence to suggest that this innoculates a baby with her gut flora. A child born via cesarian has significantly different gut flora for the first six months of life than a child born vaginally.Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher.Chlamydia was introduced to their populations by humans. We introduced a novel disease that they have very little immunity to, and is a major contributor to their possible extinction. Do you hate Native Americans because they were killed by smallpox and influenza?This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree,Almost every animal does this.which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I **** hate them.Errmmm.. They have protection against falling from a tree, which they spend 99% of their life in? Yeah... That's a stupid adaptation.===== (in response to the "koalas suck" pasta)onjit09/05/2019SHUT UP!!! SHUT THE **** UPP!!!!! WHY CAN'T I HAVE A BRIEF, MOMENTARY LAPSE OF SILENCE JUST FOR ONE MINUTE!!! ONE!!! ****!!! MINUTE!!! HOLY ****!!!!! YOU **** PEOPLE!!! YOU **** ANIMALS!!!! EVERY **** DAY YOU JUST SCREAM AND SHOUT LIKE A BUNCH OF **** BABIES!!! **** BABIES!!! GROW THE **** UP!!!! HOLY ****!!!! IF DONALD TROMP ALLOWED CHILD ABUSE I WOULD **** ABUSE THE **** OUT OF ALL YOU BABIES!!!! I WOULD **** ABUSE YOU!!!! SHUT THE **** UP!!!!=====onjit09/11/2019So. I was over at a friends house chilling and she had a sequin covered drawer. So as a joke I drew a swastika. Y'know. Like i do. She takes it as a joke and we all laugh ha ha. She posts it on her snapchat. One of my bosses bfs sees it and goes **** ballistic claiming how I'm a nazi and how I dont deserve to work at chipotle because of my views. He wanted to come into my work and yell at me. Did I mention I converted to Judaism and that wasn't good enough apparently. Also "how I dont deserve to work at chipotle" it's a **** chain restaurant you absolute pathetic excuse for a cumstain. Anyways enough about me being a nazi anyone wanna play minecraft?=====Bimps09/15/2019Oh my god CAN SOMEBODY JUST TELL ME HOW TO GET RID OF MY **** SIDE FAT? Jesus **** christ why did you wait 5 hours to reply to the thread?>rEaD tHe StIcKyI've read it three **** times already. I'm not **** reading it again. I've jumped through all the **** retarded hoops with honest hard work and I'm shaped like a **** hot pocket, either tell me what I'm doing wrong or don't ever **** say that being fit is just a choice BECAUSE I'M BUSTING MY **** **** AT 3 AM FOR TWO HOURS AFTER A FULL SHIFT EVERY NIGHT SO I CAN GET 5 HOURS OF SLEEP FOR **** NOTHINGJust tell me what I need to do and I'll **** do it. Do I cut fat? Try to build mass? WHAT DO I DO. I have everything I eat under a **** microscope, I have this **** in a **** excel spreadsheet. I ate an 800 calorie surplus when I was trying to bulk up, which did **** nothing except make me slightly pudgier. So now what? Same ****? Come back here in 3 months and be told I'm lying and not working out? The **** is this, autism court? I didn't make this thread and take a picture of myself just to lie to a bunch of asswipes that I'll never **** meet.>DuUuUuUhhHhh u noT tRyiEng**** I work all **** day, get home at 2 AM and work out for a couple hours, then do another hour of stretches to fix my pelvic tilt DONT **** TELL ME I DONT **** WORK OUTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA======onjit02/20/2019forgive english, i am Russia.i come to study clothing and fashion at American university. i am here little time and i am very hard stress. i am gay also and this very difficult for me, i am very religion person. i never act to be gay with other men before. but after i am in america 6 weeks i am my friend together he is gay also. He was show me American fashion and then we are kiss.We sex together. I never before now am tell my mother about gay because i am very shame. As i fock this American boy it is very good to me but also i am feel so guilty. I feel extreme guilty as I begin orgasm. I feel so guilty that I pick up my telephone and call Mother in Russia. I awaken her. It too late for stopping so I am cumming sex. I am very upset and guilty and crying, so I yell her, "I AM CUM FROM SEX" (in Russia). She say what? I say "I AM CUM FROM SEX" and she say you boy, do not marry American girl, and I say "NO I AM CUM FROM SEX WITH MAN, I AM IN ****, I CUM IN ****" and my mother very angry me. She not get scared though.I hang up phone and am very embarrass. My friend also he is very embarrass. I am guilt and feel very stupid. I wonder, why do I gay with man? But I continue because when it spurt it feel very good in American ****.=====zonii02/21/2019**** Mathas. How could anyone get off to the idea of removing his red shirt and licking his pale body all over, nibbling his neck and kissing his adorable little nipples? Only a heartless monster would think about his manly bearded mouth and tongue wrapped around a thick **** slick with his saliva, pumping in and out of his mouth until it erupts. The idea of thick viscous semen overflowing, dribbling down his chin over his flat chest, his gamer hands scooping it all up and watching him suck it off his fingertips is just horrible. You're all a bunch of sick perverts, thinking of spreading his smooth strong thighs, **** poised at the entrance to his pure, tight, ****. I am disgusted at how you'd get even more excited as you lean over him, listening to his quickening breath, his weak moans and gasps while you hasten your strokes, his sweet pants warm and moist on your face and his manly chest, shiny with a sheen of fresh sweat, rising and falling rapidly to meet yours. It is truly nasty how you'd run your hands all over his gamer body while you violate him, feeling his nipples hardening against your tongue as you lick his chest and his neck, savouring the scent of his skin and sweat while he trembles from the stimulation and as he reaches his climax. hearing him cry out softly as he orgasms while that **** is buried deep inside him, pulsing violently as an intense amount of hot cum spurts forth and floods through his freshly gaped boy hole, filling him up only to spill out of him with a sickening squelch.onjit02/22/2019=====onjit03/11/2019We goin on a. Brotherhunt. With My friend. Jeffrey. We went to the. Lobby and bought. all the candy. It cost a. Pretty penny. The lady at the. hotel looked at us and. I thought she was going to call the. Manager for buying all the. Candy but she just looked at. Us that's all she did. Jeffrey also bought all the. Liquor and that's when she. Asked what we were. Doing and I said. **** **** Balls in front of. a family checking in I didn't know. They were there. And the father gave me. A cold hard stare. And I felt my balls. Spring up into my. Crotch Jeffrey and I went back. Upstairs and. Ate all the candy and. Drank all the liquor but before I. Knew it. I was back outside with my friend Jeffrey. Because We goin on a. Brotherhunt=====Olive Man03/19/2019I am short but i am big cums to my **** its a thick mushroom but every think big i hold juniar high in gym some sead i big one then so think it changed that much.=====onjit03/22/2019thugs on bulge Uuu! Oh! I'm sorry mom! I-I-I can't cum on this... I can't... I won't... uuuh... Uw... No! I'm a cumming freak d-damn-!! stops and **** bulge Uw... I'm just so horny!! What? Wait! Let me just keep watching it... <Giggle> Hey daddy daddy... giggles OH! OH! OH MY GOD! What's happening... uw? U w-why don't we just go inside? giggles OH MY GOD. giggles You're cumming.. OH MY GOD. giggles AH! I don't know why you're so hard... I don't know why... but I don't want you to be cumming on me or anything. Can one of you just go inside? OH MY GOD. giggles Oh! pops mouth Yeah. giggles OH! I'm so excited for that big fat **** that's waiting for me on the bed in the morning dUhhh... I'm so hard.. I love it... <blowjob as sounds appropriate> Oh.. yes! I love this throbbing ****.. <shudder> ohhhh ohhh ohhhhh **** it feels so good! (****) sounds of penetration sounds OH MY GOD! Uwaay! OH MY GOD! OH YES! OH MY GOD! OH OH YES! OH NO! OH YES! OH YES! OH YES! OH NO! OH YES! OH NO! OH YES! OH YES! giggles OH NO! YES! OH NO! OH YES! I want you to cum in my tummy... (kiss and moan to orgasm with moans in each mouth>) Daddy! *sings noises like the end of a ****> Oh my God. (giggles) It feels so good! Oh, god yes! Oh daddy! oh no! chuckle noises in pleasure U-um! UwAAAAAH! OH YEAH! giggles OH NO! *improv to orgasm noises for 10-15 minutes> OH OH MY GOD OH YAAH! UWAH! Uhh! OH MY GOD OH YAAAAM! giggles giggles Oh it's so big I have to gag and gag=====onjit04/04/2019****? In my gucci socks??With your fat **** fortnite ****?? Your fat juicy thick wet filling pulsating fortnite ****??? In my ****?? My ****???? Its more likely than you think, hmBuy the new Fortnite Season Pass or I'll break your **** knee caps=====onjit04/08/2019I never wanted to breed with anyone more than I want to with The Great Carp. That perfect, colorful body. Those bountiful whiskers. The egg laying anus of a literal goddess. It honestly **** hurts knowing that I'll never mate with her, pass my genes through her eggs, and have a set of perfect fry with her. I'd do **** ANYTHING for the chance to fertilize The Great Carp's eggs. A N Y T H I N G. And the fact that I can't is quite honestly too much to **** bear. Why would Hidetaka Miyazaki create something so perfect? To **** tantalize us? **** laugh in our faces?! Honestly guys, I just **** can't anymore. ****.=====Brain in a jar04/09/2019what is cbt?Well I’m glad you asked. **** and ball torture (also know as CBT) is a sexual activity involving torture of the male genitals. This may involve directly painful activities, such as wax play, genital spanking, squeezing, ball-busting, genital flogging, urethral play, tickle torture, erotic electrostimulation or even kicking. The recipient of such activities may receive direct physical pleasure via masochism, through knowledge that the play is pleasing to a sadistic dominant. Image: Electrostimulation applied on a ****.zonii04/09/2019====Vitus04/14/2019My **** is of sufficient size for two of its three basic biological purposes: urination and insemination. For the third basic purpose, delivering pleasurable sensation during vaginal penetrative intercourse, it is of far less than ideal size. Its usual flaccid length is about 1 inch (2.5 cm), but it retracts completely into my body during a swim or other exercise, or under my pants when outside in cold weather. Erect length is 2 3/4 inches (7 cm), on a good day, and not thick.In the fateful lottery of life, my ****-size ticket turned out to be a ticket stub. The rest of me is of normal size, but my **** and scrotum are a tiny matched-set that never grew.onjit04/14/2019=====Vitus04/18/2019I just successfully deepthroated a **** for the first time. I'm a straight male. (From r/confessions)So a few weeks ago I ordered a **** on Amazon to use on my girlfriend. I really wasn't quite sure what to expect, and when it showed up it was a lot more wiggly than I expected so I had a lot of fun just waving it around. After I did that for a bit and tried (and failed) to do a bottle flip style thing to have it suction on the counter, I got to wondering how far I could take it in my mouth? Girls do it all the time, it couldn't be that hard (haha).I was quite disappointed in the results (like 3 or 4 inches).I told my girlfriend about it and she thought it was funny, then tried herself and only made it an inch or two further than I could! For some reason this sparked my competitive side.For the past few weeks I've been brushing my tongue every day moving a bit further back each time. About an hour ago I decided to try it out again and see if I could actually deepthroat this **** to a respectable degree, and I took the ENTIRE thing! This 7.5" ****!Jen, if you see this: I won.===============onjit04/20/2019I'm so **** horny for art hoes. I want to **** a coked-out tumblr hipster DIY aesthetic astrology thot in her lip gloss DSL mouth. I want to cum all over a girl with thick frame glasses and edge dyed bobcat bangs. Everytime I hear a THICK, waist-high-jean-clad braindead choker-wearing slutty wiccan minx say "yikes", "y'all", "big mood", "cancelled" or "this is a bop", I get an uncontrollable urge to run up to her and fondle her d cups and sweaty fat thighs. I want to pour my white olive oil onto her contoured cheeks and neotenous faces and rhinoplatisized nose. I want to finger an art hoe through her jean overalls while pretending to be interested as she talks about van gogh and arctic monkeys and how david foster wallace fans suck and gilles deleuze and VICE news and 'union pool' in williamsburg and steven universe and homeopathy and saveur magazine and taking adder all to pass exams. I'm. SO. ****. Horny=====onjit04/23/2019I spend 5 hours masturbating before my prostate exams. I edge, and edge and edge, until a butterfly sneezing on my taint could bring me to orgasm. I tactfully shuffle my way down to the doctor's office and when he lubes up I nearly cum every time. But I've trained my keggle muscles enough to the point where I can hold in Mount Vesuvius' wrath. Then as soon as he puts the smallest bit of pressure on my prostate I unleash with the fury of a lion hunting its prey. As the room gets covered in my hot sticky juices the doctor looks on disgusted and leaves the room. I always go to a hospital far away from where I live to get it so that I don't have to go in for surgery under the doctor that I busted to. Best thing is we have free healthcare here, so the doctor gets me off and it's covered by taxpayers. That's my fetish.=====kkay04/23/2019For the past few days i have been trying a new way of masturbating, basically i roll up a towel with a latex glove inside and cum in it, i gotta say it works very well, the only downside is that i didn't know where to hide the cum gloves, so i just stashed them under the bed to throw away at a later date.I wasn't really worried about my mom finding them because usually she never enters my room but today she decided it would be nice of her to clean my room while i was away.When i got home and entered my room i immediately knew i **** up, i rushed to the bed and checked under it... ALL THE CUM GLOVES WERE GONE.There must have been 5-6 gloves filled with man juice and i can only imagine her reaction when she found them.Soon after she called me because lunch was ready but i made up an excuse and just said i wasn't feeling well, i haven't left my room since. She knoked on my door a couple of times to see if i was ok and i just told her i had an headache and wanted to be left alone.I spent the whole day in my room and only drank tap water and ate leftover chips. Tomorrow i'm gonna have to leave the room and i don't know what the **** to do.onjit04/23/2019====Dethmstr04/26/2019i wanna **** Garfield. i wanna cum on Garfield. i wanna put my **** inside of Garfield's ****. Ive dreamed of doing weird **** with Garfield since I was 13. The first time I masturbated, I thought of all the times I saw Garfield's thick **** in the funnies. It's a shame that Garfield got skinnier but at least he's not a skinny little ****. When I get the chance, I will feed Garfield drugged lasagna and wait for him to wake up. If he runs away, it will only make my hunt for his **** even more rewarding. I dont care if Jon will scream and call the cops on me because Garfield and me are forever. As long as I have access to some form of Garfield media, I will be in heaven.Helist04/26/2019=====kkay04/29/2019Seriously? After 20 minutes of getting to choke this gorgeous girl with his ****, two little poots of cum is all he could manage? Pathetic. I registered an account just so I could leave this comment in hopes he sees it one day. Fronting like you're some alpha male, while Elizabeth is performing her heart out, and what do you give her? Two tiddlywinks of cum? I've never felt so personally offended by **** before. You're a real ****, pal.zonii04/29/2019=====rainbow05/08/2019**** are so cute omg(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄) when you hold one in your hand and it starts twitching its like its nuzzling you(/ω\) or when they perk up and look at you like" owo nya? :3c" hehe ~ ****-kun is happy to see me!!(^ワ^)=====pingo05/08/2019It's nice to meet you, but it's even better to meet me. My name is SniperSmurf. I have 290 hours with Bastion in total and I specialize in sticking it straight up their **** culo. Bastion is a way of life for me. Go in there, I bend them over, I open their cheeks nice and wide. I get a nice clear view of the colon, prostate, and the coccyx; and I knuckle **** them all the way up to the palm, right up the butt **** so they feel a burning sensation deep in the **** **** like icy hot. Bastion is a way of life for me, I've never changed my character, **** you. If at any point during the match you want me to change characters, I gladly suggest you go **** yourself. I follow absolutely no type of team composition. If you want to give orders, give them to each other, don't you dare bring that **** to me. All I know how to do is go in there, get a lot of poo poo on my peter, and a lot of **** on my **** from sticking it straight up their ****. Now let's go team.====Helist05/13/2019I can't believe how sexy jidril is.. she was naked before and she was so horny.. she was so **** wet.. she is so perfectI'm ready for it my friend.. do you wanna come?my **** is still hard.. this is not how I intended this .. its a turn on with your cum.. **** yes.. it is so hot.. you did it to me.. **** me harder your cum inside me..I'm getting down.. your cum is amazing.. and I can feel myself getting close.. don't stop now you have to cum.. cum deep inside me.. my hole.. I'm so wet.. my **** will open up for you.. I think that you should cum.. I think it made you cum too.. that it was you who made my hole open up for you.. you're cumming inside me.. and I can feel you cum inside me.. (groan) yes .. my **** feels so very wet.. you took my virginity just like jidricyou just had my virginity.. and my **** feels like it has never been licked with your **** before..====================================Vitus05/13/2019**** are so cute omg! OwOoOoo, I love your **** and your ****. I'm so excited! How's that guy? He's cute and all so I'm excited too, aren't I? Oh my god, it feels so good. You're so hard, it hurts, but I'm going to ride you as I moan. (moans) Oh god yes. Yes. I'm going to cum so hard. There it is. Do you want me to give you a blowjob too? Or blowjob my big sister's ****? (whisper) You're so perfect! Thank you!! (giggles) It feels so good. I love being **** like you. Yes, that's so sexy. But wait, there's more to your **** than meets the eye. You're really thick but I've never seen you like this. (giggle) You're so **** thick! Do you have a ****? (moans and loud gagging) It feels so good! It's so much thicker and round! Oh god...that feels amazing....but it's all my==========Tykki5205/13/2019haha, yes", I chuckled myself as I posted the single letter "h" for the tenth time today. The chatroom filled with joy and applause, as I slowly took off my pants, dropped my clothes, unbuttoned my pants, exposing my lovely ****. My fingers ran all over my clitoris, teasing my clit for a good 10 minute while I got on the head of the bed.My mouth was open wide and I felt a warm and inviting breath from him. He pulled me slowly out from the bed and laid down on the bed next to me, as if I could do anything I wanted. I was lying naked and he undressed me slowly, with my body stretched forward as I rubbed my **** together before putting his tongue down my **** lips. He sucked and licked and fondled my lovely wet clit, getting closer to giving himself a nice wet mouthful of my juices from my leaking ****. For a second it was hot and heavy, but it didn't go away. I was finally aroused, and I eagerly took him from behind and kissed him deeply, before pulling him naked to the [email protected]/13/2019Read the one above too============Tykki5205/13/2019Wtf the bot is WILDonjit05/25/2019he~yaa ^^ im your server today and what would you like toda~ay ^u^ YEAH thats thats what im saying pancakes is what you want ( ^-^)旦” whats that? you don't want pancakes? well i didn't quite he~ar that i think you said you wanted pancakes (^&^)且 here is your pancake ma~ster! uguu 且(゚◇゚)ノ i hope you li~i~ike them ... ( ´・ω・`)_且 <3=====Vitus05/26/2019At the end of Endgame, Thanos agrees to undo everything he's done if the Avengers can beat him in a **** measuring contest, but none of the Avengers even came close. Even the Hulk is shorter than Thanos by a noticeable amount, and their girth isn't even comparable. That's when, at the last moment, Captain Marvel pulls down her pants and unleashes the phattest hawg the universe has ever seen. Shamed by her size, Thanos undoes all that he has done, and then commits Japanese ritual suicide. He is buried under an unmarked grave in area 51.=============Vitus07/14/2019I really want to smell this old man’s farts. Just let me slide my nose up his wrinkly crusty old rectum, feeling him clench and squeeze my nostrils together, and then inhale deeply as he blows a fat wet one on my face. I would probably cum instantly. His **** cheeks would clap against the sides of my head, my body would contort as I **** in my jeans, and I’d hopefully get a hairy dingleberry or two stuck to my face. What a thrill it would be.============onjit07/30/2019**** is gay. Whenever you let those deuces loose, it stretches out your ****. What else forces your anus open? **** does. It's literally the same **** thing, but the penetration is reversed. Excrement is, simply put, its own natural single-use ****. Because I am a straight man, I always induce diarrhea whenever I am able to. This way, I am simply urinating out of my butt instead of committing sin. Taking a leak out of a rather unnatural place is better than being a homosexual, after all. **** isn't gay.=====UnableToAssume07/31/2019This should be self explanatory but apparently I have to justify myself.There's nothing more feminine than using a product on your body. Makeup is 100% feminine and by the same logic, so is wiping your ****. I haven't wiped my **** in about 4 years and i've NEVER had any issues. My digestive system is in the top 1% in terms of regularity, functionality, and performance and I've never once felt the need to "clean up" after myself.If you **** and you need to wipe, you've got an emasculated GI tract and that's your own issue. Man up and get your **** (literally) together========UnableToAssume08/04/2019Oh I'm sorry snowflake, did I OFFEND you? Do you want a bandaid? Do you want a hug? Do you want a kiss? I will kiss you. I will do it. Right on the mouth. Come here snowflake.. that's it.. your lips are so soft, snowflake.. mnnhm... ah...... snowflake..........=====UnableToAssume08/09/2019Come on, y’all know that feeling when ur watching the gymnastics section with ur family and your sister gets all judgey like “why are you wearing a blanket even though it’s late July?” And “what’s that meat slapping noise” stfu sis gotta get my rocks off somehow=====onjit08/12/2019᠎The problem with having thick and syrupy semen is that you don't shoot as far as the runny shooters. You could have super thick, globby, slime-like semen that moves entirely with your finger but you will never be able to shoot as far as someone with a thin, runny, watery reservoir of water-semen that shoots out like a hose, the first shot of which containing so much distance it goes across the room and to the wall - it's that watery. Meanwhile your thick, syrupy cum slobber goes a foot or more at most. Meanwhile, your brother, who has a larger, and wider **** than you, fires thin, watery loads at least a few meters away. You'd think that the syrupy thick cum would be more in the end, but then you realize your brother makes at least 25 mL of cum spunk while you make only like 15 mL of thick baby syrup.=====onjit08/15/2019I know what you mean. Our local library always had a waiting list for the new atlases, and you always had to open them with a good pair of rubber gloves because some bastard always came on the good maps before you got to them. The older maps were just disgusting with layers and layers of ****, but what else could you do? It's not like you weren't going to crank one out to the new Soviet borders after waiting 6 weeks for your turn. ****, I still remember when Kosovo came out in 2008. Some poor teenagers waited months to see the new Serbian border, but by the time they got the new atlas the pages were so soaked with unspeakable body fluids that you couldn't even make out the capital. When South Sudan split off in 2011 the library was so backed up that some of us started jacking off to globes, but for the most part that fad died off by the summer of 2012. You can still make some money selling old globes to collectors, but they've got to have some weird **** on them like The Democratic Republic Of Yemen (only lasted for 45 days in 1994), and to be honest most people don't get into anything that hard core.Some people claim they can't get off without some violent annexing, but I think you'll find it's just teenagers pretending to be edgy on the internet. Most people are perfectly content to beat their meat to border changes that occur strictly through peaceful means, such as the purchase of Louisiana in 1803. Now of course with the internet people just spank it to Google maps in the privacy of their own homes. Nobody will appreciate how hard it was for teenagers to find good aerial photography of major cities in 1970. I think we all knew that **** who 'had an uncle' that did aerial photography, but he was full of ****. He was just stealing national geographics from his dad's collection like everyone else. Random side story. I used to date a girl in college that called her special area the 49th parallel. I could tell when she was in the mood because she'd ask if I was feeling British, since the only exception to the 49-degree line is that the British are allowed to swing south around Vancouver Island, if you know what I mean.=====onjit09/26/2019I am from russia and 18 years old and my English is not so good, so don't be angry to me. When i was 15, or 16, i tried to suck my own **** when i was in tub,I couldn't do it, then i masturbet and tasted my semen. semen was bitter.=====GlobinLast Wednesday at 6:07 PMThe fact that anybody thinks “small ****” is an insult, is hilarious to me. I ****. That’s all that matters. I’m smart enough to get a woman to take me home. I don’t accept blowjobs. I don’t give head. We get right down to it.Having a small **** and finishing fast hasn’t held me back whatsoever. The goal isn’t to show her a good time. The goal is to get my nut. So go ahead, make fun of my “small ****”. I guarantee I **** more than some guys with “big ****”.I **** twice this month already. Busted within a minute both times. Haven’t spoken to either woman since. There are months where I **** like 4 new women. If I can manage to get hard, I’ll ****. If I can’t, I find a way to make the girl feel like it’s her fault. I’m good at this ****.I like my life the way it is. I don’t need a big **** to satisfy ME. I’m already satisfied.=====onjit02/20/2019Now taking applications for a gf. You must be: 1. Female 2. Age 16-23 3. Japanese (exceptions will be made for white girls if small and skinny) 4. Willing to do as I as I ask 5. Have an IQ lower than mine (113) 6. Have 0 male friends 7. Cook 3 meals for me a day 8. Be willing to split to bill on a date 9. Be into kinky stuff (Will discuss in PM) 10. Send me nudes every day I do not see you in person. 11. Have sex with me as I ask 12. Be on birth control (condoms make me feel trapped, I simply can't find anything that fits) 13. Ideally not have a job 14. Install a tracking app on your phone so that I know your location at all points=====onjit02/20/2019One time my mom was taking me through the McDonalds drive-thru (we normally only eat fast food when we're on road trips) and I wanted the Happy Meal with the My Little Pony toy. Mind you, I'm a male so it's not typical for that to be the preference. The girl at the window didn't even ask what toy I wanted, I guess she just assumed I would want the DragonballZ figurine. I worked up the courage to ask my mother if I could have the pony toy and I'll never forget what she said to me. "Son, you're 25, you don't need a Happy Meal with a My Little Pony Toy."=====20/M Although religious, I'm an amicable lad who's studied in US, UK, and now Japan. I've travelled 15 countries. My first language is English, followed by Russian. I speak some Japanese, Turkish, Spanish, and long time ago used to be good at French but let go of it. I'm of somewhat similar but mixed race. My favourite cuisine is Italian. I appreciate the local culture more than the Western. From celebrities, I like Jordan Peterson and Tom Odell. Additionally, Stephen Fry. I've recently moved to Tokyo from N Kyushu and would love to discover rural areas of Kanto with Tokyoites but preferably residents and not travellers. I'm an ISFP, so nature is of paramount importance to me. I'm easily amazed by constellations, canyons, waterfalls, grassfields, and forests. I value modesty and patience. Also, I love peace, empathy, and psychology. M or F aged around 20-25 are welcome to PM me. Oh, and I'm going on to a one-week snowboard trip in a few days, feel free to join even if a beginner.=====onjit02/20/2019i can't believe i peaked in highschool and had a gf and had ambition for the future but now i am a lonely single miserable boy who had to take a semester off from school and watches vines at 1 and 2 am and i dont even laugh and watch anime god damn i love anime=====onjit02/20/2019Dude I **** the bed without drinking a bunch of water, I just can’t help myself I just always **** the bed. Even when I’m dehydrated I’ll **** blood, just cuz I can’t not **** the bed====Olive Man02/26/201921 and Single White Male...-Shy -Smart -Young at Heart -Computer skilled-Humorous -A great thinker and go-getter -"Natural salesperson" -Enjoys good parts of life-Diplomatic -Friendly -Loves his family -Peaceful -Very creative -He's lonely...Seeking a CUTE 18-21 SINGLE ♀FEMALE♀ COMPANION*18-21 years of age *does not already have a boyfriend *Single-Average to Slender Weight/Body Type -White -Lives in Charolettesville or Ruckersville area*Does NOT Smoke or Drink Alcohol -Happy, Positive Personality*Average/High Income -Drives a vehicle====onjit03/10/2019I like killing people because it is so much fun it is more fun than killing wild game in the forrest because man is the most dangeroue anamal of all to kill something gives me the most thrilling experence it is even better than getting your rocks off with a girl the best part of it is thae when I die I will be reborn in paradice and thei have killed will become my slaves I will not give you my name because you will try to sloi down or atop my collectiog of slaves for my afterlife ebeorietemethhpiti=====onjit04/04/2019Believe it or not there is nothing wrong with a little bit of poop.... it is minimally toxic.... we actually use small amounts periodically in our kids diets as we have read it makes their immune system stronger....kind of like eating dirt or putting a pacifier back in a babys mouth when fallen on the floor. We use about a tablespoon and add it to chili...the kids have no clue.=====pingo05/08/2019I am not like any one of you. You see what they tell you to see. Feel what they want you to feel. You obey unconditionally. You wouldn't have it any other way. When you see a blank canvas, I see a beautiful painting. When you hear silence, I hear a symphony. I've learned that fire is cold and ice is hot, but I cannot feel. I have a thousand faces and many names. Accuser! Seducer! Destroyer! I am the reaper...====pingo05/08/2019hi very emotional and heartfelt poem. stable photographs words you painted. Confusion , isn't of God, that's in straightforward terms from guy/women. This typhoon will bypass, as different issues did on your life, others , and in mine . all of us understand we won't be able to assume a appropriate life , yet we ought to undergo our proportion, Of struggles and of strife, some says we won't be able to seek for each little thing, to paintings out quite all appropriate, with sunshine interior the sky all day,and silver stars at night, yet from time to time we ought to have a tear, a sorrow or be apologetic approximately, or some unlucky affairs,we want we could forget approximately, and so the appropriate that we can do , is you need to be arranged, for any unhappiness or, misery that should be shared , to bypass alongside from each and every day, with braveness at our side, and take in spite of occurs in , our common stride. from time to time those, we won't be able to stay without leaves yet we ought to locate the way, a thank you to moved on, that's not straightforward, yet we could make it as a results of fact of God grace. Be stable Dee , I choose you properly. i'm so sorry, God will under no circumstances fails us.====Vitus05/12/2019Here's the thing. You said a "trilby is a fedora." Is it in the same family? Yes. No one's arguing that. As someone who is an atheist who studies euphoria, I am telling you, specifically, in atheism, no one calls trilbys fedoras. If you want to be "specific" like you said, then you should too. They're not the same thing. If you're saying "fedora family" you're referring to the euphoric grouping of le reddit army, which includes things from neckbearded gentlesirs to highly intelligent intellectual like myself. So your reasoning for calling a trilby a fedora is because random people "say that only neckbeards wear fedoras?" Let's get Mountain Dew and Doritos in there, then, too===========Globin05/26/2019wife's boyfriend??????? uuuuugh rolls eyes again and again with the ****, pulling that **** on me like that? literally no, just no, stop, JUST **** STOP GOD DAMN IT WHAT THE LITERAL ACTUAL: **** I AM DOEN WITH HIS **** RIGHTN OW AND I CAN"T **** SUT **** SATAY they are tbhey are ruining my lif (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((============Борис07/03/2019**** e-girls, I swear. 70% of them are absolute filth. No bath for at least a full week. Literal yeast cultures festering in between their friction burned labia, slathered in a gelatinous glob over a clit that looks like a year old eraser tip. Utter disgraces, scourges on society. Selling their reused bath water to incels, the contents fermenting in the water with the dead skin and other filth, turning into an alcoholic beverage by the time it arrives in the post; a hellish concoction like something out of a 15thC witchcraft recipe. "I'm baby" headass. "Daddy uwu" ****. Sick of it, mate, on god.=======Brain in a jar08/13/2019nah im actually quite attractive (multiple women have told me this), i have great success with beautiful women. in fact i would happily post a picture of myself on here but unfortunately i live in a country where some of the things i have posted on this account are considered illegal or i would======Bimps08/19/2019M a my contact list is empty except my sister number i don't have facejew, ****, instacrap and i just use my phone to liste podcasts and read mangas also storage some "pictures" having a smartphone is useful i like to masturbate in the shower watching **** from mobile at ff7 gta san andreas sometimes watching a movie lying in my bad youtu.be videos etc=====onjit09/10/2019Say, would you ladies like to learn something interesting? (School may not be in session, but that doesn't mean you can't learn! You see, there's something called the "post-ejaculatory refractory period", which is the recovery phase after orgasm during which it is physiologically impossible for a man to have additional orgasms." but GET THIS- there is NO such recovery phase when the male is introduced to a new female sexual partner immediately post-coitus. So, what I'm trying to say here is...well, I guess I'll have to dumb it down for you If the five of us hung out, then, well...we would have a pretty good time =====onjit09/14/2019Man screw these people sure incest is both hella wrong and hella gross but somewhere down the bloodlines every human has some ancestors that did incest. Still not endorsing incest because I would rather slit my throat than hook up with one of my relatives, but still you could always just say in the lore they weren't all related XD.=====Vitus09/27/2019I just have seen your stream and wanted to say that I thought you were super adorable. you don't know me at all and I know it's kinda weird. I just thought maybe it'd be fun to roleplay with you as your online gf maybe? I know you're straight. I'm a boy that's why I was saying roleplay.. this isn't a troll. again, I know it's really random and weird. I'm sorry. It would just be a fun online relationship - nothing serious and I could donate to you and your stream and support you and just be here.=======Bimps09/28/2019why do you want to lose weight yourte perfect hte way it is i would bend you over and **** you but never without asking you permission cause im a king of manliness but now tihout manners and youo d be my queen. seriously we have a connection we both go to these site which is for smart people its not only physical tough i love your body rawr=====onjit02/20/2019If you want to speak to me, regardless of who you are I will answer you. If you do not respond to me when I accept your friend request and message "Can I help you" or "Do you need something" I will remove you within 5 minutes. If you are offline I will message you once we are both online at the same time and if you do not respond within 5 minutes I will remove you. I HIGHLY recommend you friend me when I am online. If you look like a nice person I might wait a little bit longer but don't expect it. I do not tolerate people who identify as anti-christian, anti-white, anti-republican, or bullies. I also don't create lasting friendships with the unreligious, homosexual, democrat, liberal, or dominant/self centered types of people. Do not judge me based on my cover profile, or anything you have heard about me (I'd like to know what it is you heard about me though). Thank you for being so understanding.=====A liberal muslim homosexual ACLU lawyer professor and abortion doctor was teaching a class on Karl Marx, known atheist”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!”At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL champion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decision made by the United States stood up and held up a rock.”How old is this rock, pinhead?”The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied “4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian””Wrong. It’s been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real… then it should be an animal now”The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Origin of the Species. He stormed out of the room crying those liberal crocodile tears. The same tears liberals cry for the “poor” (who today live in such luxury that most own refrigerators) when they jealously try to claw justly earned wealth from the deserving job creators. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, DeShawn Washington, wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and become more than a sophist liberal professor. He wished so much that he had a gun to shoot himself from embarrassment, but he himself had petitioned against them!The students applauded and all registered Republican that day and accepted Jesus as their lord and savior. An eagle named “Small Government” flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The pledge of allegiance was read several times, and God himself showed up and enacted a flat tax rate across the country.The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.=====I honestly feel bad for the guy. I mean, I think he is getting what he deserves. But I have to wonder, the way he was bragging about it to the girl, why does it matter to him to be famous and have recognition for something so obviously stupid? What was missing in his life before this? How many other attempts at recognition did he attempt that were never acknowledged by the right people? What crayon drawings did he bring to his mother, only for her to tell him to put them in the trash? What bugs did he find in the yard that his father immediately crushed in front of him? How do you go so far down the trail of insecurity to the point that you base your own personal value on achievements like this? He's a menace. He's dangerous. If he stole my car and drove away like this with MY son in the backseat I would be furious and murder him on the spot. But that's because my son is the most important thing in the world to me. Who is this guy the most important thing in the world to? Anyone? Does he know it?=====zonii02/20/2019I'm really tired of seeing people in chat upset and equivocate when the darker aspects of nations, often the U.S.A's, history get brought to light. Openly talking about the stuff that made the world a **** place, as well as why stuff like FDR's warmongering was dangerous and harmful, is important to ensure that we don't repeat our mistakes. Washing the ugliness of our history away is not only willfully ignorant, but also the first step towards committing more atrocities.https://www.reddit.com/r/northernlion/c … ?context=3redditr/northernlion - NLSTS Mega Thread [2019/02/19]21 votes and 34 comments so far on Reddit onjit02/20/2019=====onjit03/07/2019my favourite thing about terrorism is how the imagined potential threat leads to a state of security and loss of freedoms that will forever escalate until we are no longer able to conduct free and open discourse without the fear of greater powers surveiling or  interfering with our basic human rights=====onjit03/13/2019Kids, there's nothing more cool than being hugged by someone you like. But if someone tries to touch you in a place or in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable, that's no good! It's your body. No one has the right to touch you if you don't want them to. So what do you do? First, you say 'No!' Then, you gotta get outta there! Most important, you gotta tell someone you trust, like your parents, your teacher, a police officer.=====onjit03/19/2019I once almost choked to death while eating food. I did my own research and discovered that I am not alone. Thousands of people choke every year while eating, and hundreds of those people die. That's why I don't feed my kids. It's dangerous. Now plenty of people will point out that food supposedly "prevents starvation," and that might be true, but it's not fair to completely ignore all the dangers food poses, like choking, allergies, gingivitis, and garlic breath. I'm just saying, do your own research and decide what you think is best for your kids. If you choose to give your kids potentially deadly food, that's your problem, but as a parent, I don't think the government has any right to tell me that I need to feed my kids.=====Helist04/06/2019I have a little paragraph to say and I have a question at the end, I’ll make it concise, I’ll keep it under a minute. Seeing as Bonnell takes the modern “Eminem” approach of speed equals quality to debating, I’d like to take him up on something that I haven’t seen anyone else take him up on, which is his use of inductive reasoning as a euphemism for his guesses of what ideologies people that he doesn’t like are subscribed to because Nick Fuentes doesn’t think promoting miscegenation is “cool” and because he shared a couple of /pol/ memes about the holocaust which he has already clarified that he doesn't necessarily stand behind, and you're gonna flex your goatee musckles and let those words slither out of your dirty **** pedophile defending, divorce having, child abuse, leaving your kid behind mouth, calling him a Nazi and justifying violence against him. Regardless of what he said, I’ll kiss Nick in his mouth like St. Francis did to the Leper. But you, my friend, are partners and good friends with Hasan Piker, who believes that profit is theft, and that is essentially the “14 words” of the left wing, that is some **** Proudhon or Max Stirner would say. So I could do the exact same thing to you, and claim that because of evidence that I’ve decided is sufficient, I could say that because you think that my property can be taken from me for the greater good of society, that violence against you is justified. Listen, I might not be an 18 year old yet, but I don't think you'd have a problem with getting **** by a minor in front of an audience, and if you think violence against me is justified because I think a certain way, then I urge you to act it out. I have at least six inches on you, and by the time I'm done you'll have about six inches in you; underage, just how you like it  .=====Talon05/27/2019One of the most influential cartoons of the 21st century, centered on an energetic, anthropomorphic sea sponge (who more nearly resembles a kitchen sponge) and a diverse cast of his underwater friends, is decidedly one of the most politically ambiguous.On the one hand, the series suggests that capitalists are inherently malign or simply obsessed with money, as the main character’s crustacean employer, the fast food restaurateur Mr. Krabs, is inclined to put money before others’ interests, sometimes at the expense of others’ well-being. In addition, SpongeBob and his dimwitted seastar best friend Patrick Star have a habit of annoying Squidward Tentacles, a grouchy octopus who lives between them, and tend to not face comeuppance for their childish actions (though there are exceptions), which may teach that being annoying is “acceptable” adult behavior. Specific episodes have controversial overtones, too. For instance, “Rock-a-Bye Bivalve” is infamous for depicting SpongeBob and his dimwitted seastar best friend Patrick Star raising a baby scallop like a homosexual couple. Moreover, one of the series’ worst-received episodes, “One Coarse Meal,” tries to make bullying look humorous because it centers on Mr. Krabs driving his microscopic arch business rival Plankton to suicide by appealing to the copepod’s secret fear of whales, a fear not present in any other episode. Worst of all, there is a theory that each of the seven main characters is modeled after one of the Seven Deadly Sins: Mr. Krabs is avarice for his love of money. Plankton is envy because he desires after that which Mr. Krabs has: a successful restaurant and the secret formula for Krabs’ signature sandwich, the Krabby Patty. Squidward is wrath due to his irritability. Sandy Cheeks the diving suit-clad squirrel is pride as she is immensely proud of her native Texas. Patrick is sloth since he is often seen dormant. Gary, SpongeBob’s pet sea snail, is gluttony because his character has little to do other than eat. SpongeBob is a strange variant on lust: though the character is said to be asexual, he seems to have “lust for life” because, depending on the writer(s), he can be too fixated on his job (or even on Squidward) at times.On the other hand, most episodes where SpongeBob works in his regular job as a fry cook at the Krusty Krab restaurant teach young audiences to take pride in hard work and persistence as SpongeBob strives to make the most out of his rather ordinary vocation. Most episodes where Plankton appears draw a clear distinction between good and evil, showing the errors of stealing and conducting business through illegitimate means as Plankton’s schemes to outcompete Mr. Krabs, the more competent businessman, or steal his Krabby Patty recipe backfire. Lastly, depending on the writer(s), Krabs can serve as a surrogate father-figure to SpongeBob, teaching him to stay out of danger and not to act so impulsively as he usually does. In addition, one episode advocates against gun control and showing the fallacy against the premise, and another episode promotes self-sufficiency and mocks the welfare state.=====onjit06/04/2019Sorry for a bit offtopic but have you ever done (or at least considered) any march regarding left-handed people? Sometimes I feel like they are the most forgotten minority (~10% global only) on Earth, not to mention that plenty of tools/equipment/machines/etc (like knives, scissors, guns) are designed for right handed people which causes left-handed people to die a bit earlier (on average) than right-handed people due to (among others) . Of course there are options to buy scissors or knives for left-handed people but not everything can be replaced (especially heavy equipment). Left as word is also related with weakness, evil, unjust, cheating, unclean, etc. In the past (at least medieval europe) left-handed people were called spawns of devil and burned at the stake. Even ~40 years ago left-handed people were not welcome. Children at school were hit with ruler whenever they drew/wrote with left-hand. I personally know one classmate who had hand in a cast to prevent him from drawing/writting with his left-hand. I don't know about him but I would never forgive my parents if they did that to me. Present day while being definitely a lot better for left-handed people, still have issues. You cannot even shake someone's hand with your left hand because it will be rude.=====Bimps07/29/2019Hi, my name is Ron. Have you ever heard the good news about what God did for us? God came from heaven to earth in the person of His Son Jesus Christ, who died for our sins, and who was buried, and who arose from the dead three days later so that we can be saved and go to heaven after we die. Heaven is a beautiful place full of joy with no sorrow, sickness, suffering and death. The unsaved will suffer forever separated from the love of God in the lake of fire. We all were born sinful and this is why we do wrong things. The Son of God already took the punishment and paid the penalty for our sins with His own blood when He suffered and died for us on the cross at the age of thirty-three. Because Jesus was God in the flesh, He alone could pay the debt we owed to God. His victory over death and the grave won the victory for everyone who puts their trust in Him. To be saved you need to agree with God that you are a sinner and put your trust in the Lord Jesus Christ to save you. Do you believe in your heart the message I just shared with you and will you trust in the Lord Jesus Christ as your Savior and Lord? If your answer is yes, then you are saved and the Holy Spirit now lives within you. Now you can grow in godliness and learn more about God by reading a little everyday the written word of God called the Holy Bible. A good place to start reading the Holy Bible is "Ephesians" and you can find it online for free.=======whomstdve08/30/2019I'm 21 years old, a columnist, an author, a graduate of UCLA, a Harvard law student -- and a virgin. And I'm proud of it. As I explain in my new book, "**** Generation: How Social Liberalism Is Corrupting Our Future," in today's America, being a proud virgin is no easy task. Those with values are under attack in a culture that treasures "tolerance" above morality. It's no wonder that because of my outspoken advocacy of traditional morality in general and of virginity in particular, I've become a favorite target of Internet leftists, who often refer to me as "The Virgin Ben."======onjit02/21/2019DANGEROUS!! If you are one of the persons of this post, then sit in a corner and think about what I said, do not start a conflict, it will only confirm that I was right, hahaha=====Olive Man02/24/2019I just wanna say it's **** sad how our natural instinct is to attack anyone who ever acts like they're better than anyone else. Like ****, I'm sorry for one time admitting that I am intelligent, I'll go back to being self-deprecating and making fun of myself I guess. There's literally no way to ever compliment yourself in any way without seeming like a piece of garbage. I don't even think I'm better than anyone else but ever revealing my one single redeeming quality, a specific type of intelligence that's not even very useful in real life, gets me **** on from all sides.  I'm not even that **** smart, I'm just like top 95th percentile or something, which means that anytime I go to a place with intelligent people I feel like a massive idiot. Idk how to find the balance between calling myself an idiot and admitting that I'm smart where I can actually get along with peoplethat one's from cobaltknightrainbow02/24/2019wow irony or notOlive Man02/24/2019no irony, he wrote in in real chat lmaorainbow02/24/2019w0wzonii02/25/2019====onjit03/03/2019Everyone who is here, we are fortunate to be alive in the same time as Hozier. Although there have been many such artists over the years, but there has not, nor ever will be an artist who can match the genius, the soul and the depth that Hozier puts into his songs. In a time where the quality of the music is evaluated in terms of the number of views/plays in streaming platforms and listeners getting desensitized from the lyrics of the songs, Hozier truly emerges as a dark horse. It's a shame that he is not as famous as he deserves to be. I hope that at least with the release of the full album, songs as great as 'Nina Cried Power' can get more than 1.5 million views after more than 2 weeks of release and people coming here for the first time can go and listen to his older work. And even though I am not a faithful person, but I pray to the Universe that Hozier's voice does not fade within the noise that we call 'popular music'. He truly is one of the few modern artists who has brought me back to modern music. I hope he continues to do so for many many years because I have at least 40 years of natural life left to live and it would be bland without Hozier in it.=====onjit03/11/2019Alright internet crusader, you can also victimize people who don’t deserve to be dragged through the system because you have a hunch. And no, that isn’t ‘super red flag behavior.’ Just because you’ve seen that behavior in people you work with, correlation isn’t causation. But hey, keep on your crusade, and yes, it is more akin to ‘there’s a crisis on the border, because you are going off of such little information and choosing that to create an issue.=====onjit03/11/2019Thank you for the Gold and Silver, kind anonymous internet strangers! As a disabled guy who likes to make people laugh, I'm grateful for opportunities to make posts like this and lighten up a dark and charred topic.=====onjit03/22/2019He was a Gulf War veteran. Except, dude, you were born in 1981 and the Gulf War was 1991-1992. When we were in fifth grade. Congrats on being an 11-year-old combat veteran. His uncle had taught him to fly an Air Force jet. By his telling, his uncle was a mechanic in the Air Force. They had one jet that apparently nobody could fix. But this uncle, through sheer mechanical savantism, fixed the jet. The Air Force, ignoring all fiscal law, apparently was so grateful to this mechanic that they gifted him the jet. He then flew the jet to our tiny local airport, where he taught my acquaintance how to fly it.=====onjit03/22/2019DISCLAIMER: While the following post may appear at first glance to be unrelated to the thread at hand, upon further inspection it should be plain to see that it is merely a parody of the very nature of online communication as a whole. Furthermore, this [image/gif/text/audio/video] may not be inherently indicative of the substance of the discussion seen prior in this thread, but should still be regarded with the same artistic integrity of precedents in this medium. Despite initially appearing to be without merit, this [image/gif/text/audio/video] is intended to be construed as a statement [adhering to/refuting] the common parlance seen in this community, through which greater understanding and introspection can be achieved. Ergo, the following post should be given the consideration that it deserves, and the deeper intentions of the individual(s) who crafted the following [image/gif/text/audio/video] will be rectified for their efforts. Any attempt to refuse entry the following [image/gif/text/audio/video] should be regarded as an affront to liberty and the notion of free thought. Such individuals who would contemplate taking such actions should be deemed fierce enemies to all that we hold sacred, and subsequently banished to the deepest depths of Hades.=====onjit03/29/2019Only one message here can be true - and it’s mine. I was the hacker. Trying to figure out how to write bots without video tutorials I tried to do a simple connect to eggserver, but being stuck in a while loop, eggserver received its cataclysm... That’s how the user count accidentally bumped. I tried to fix it, but accidentally my history browser log was inserted into the output, so you had to see sites I’ve been on. In the library I saw an interesting function, and noticed that it can creat objects, I wanted to test it out and wrote “Jidril” - and I noticed that it gave me full control of eggserver, I went there. It’s cool. I have no idea what in my code exported your data, but not to make myself suspicious I gave the data to my server “enemies”=====onjit03/31/2019hello i am different fifty five and i am here to tell you about a browser that is not for big dum dums it is called firefox and it is better than chrome because people that use chrome are stupid and i dont like them so you should use firefox like me because its better and also you should use linux because you can do stuff with it unlike windows which should be called shilldows because it is bad and i do not like it i would say use opera as a browser for people with big peepees and even bigger brains but opera got sold to the reds and i do not like that so use firefox and you will be happy like i am goodbye=====onjit04/09/2019Completely agree with you. Not to toot our own horns, but I would say some of the most intelligent (and brave) minds on Earth are in this server.I just think that we operate on a higher vibrational frequency than most others, and are extremely sensitive beings.When I say “sensitive” I don’t mean the pop culture interpretation/reference. I don’t mean “sensitive” as in “a snowflake that’s offended by everything.”I mean “sensitive” as in “able to recognize (conscious and subconscious) energy pattern shifts and negative vibrations.” Essentially, we’re just very good at sensing ****, bad energy, and when something is just “off.”=====Olive Man04/11/2019So one of the tests in terms of my ADHD is an IQ test, the WISC III. I did it when I was about to turn 8, and I was above the 98th percentile for both the verbal and performative. So sorry guys, I was wrong when I said I was in the top 95th percentile And I'd like to say, I still think I'm above the 98th percentile compared to 7 to 9 year olds..It's a beautiful thing.=====onjit04/13/2019Thanks for your input. I'm sorry my joke posted many months ago about the ancient movie "The Incredibles" has dated by April 2017. In future, I'll only post jokes that I'm certain will be funny for years to come. I'll also restrict myself to jokes about very recent movies and delete them after a short time period so they never become "old". I thank you once again for your constructive criticism, please do not hesitate to contact me regarding any other posts I made years ago that you also feel are "old and dry". I sincerely respect your insightful yet succinct criticism of my post and bow down to your superior comedic knowledge.=====Vitus04/14/2019Creation is the Harmonics of Opposites - Opposites are the Harmonics of Creation. God entity is unicorn burrito, or no opposite burrito. God Oners must ban all burrito with Opposites. Trinity of males degrade female opposites. Burrito okay for atheist, but not God Oneists. Opposite hemispheres equate planets to a Giant Brain, that has 4 faces, but no limbs. Adults create baby, baby evolves to adult. No 1 God can create a planet of opposites, which equate to a zero value existence, and cancels to nothing as an entity in death. =================================================onjit05/08/2019this one's long, enjoy. You know what really makes me mad? The cancer infecting most major linux distributions - Systemd. Just like cancer it spreads all over your system and just like cancer, it doesn't work properly. One of the worst examples of scope creep you can find in any software solution. It was supposed to be an init system. That's OK because upstart, SysV etc. weren't great. But once again, just like cancer, it started to metastase and taking over the UEFI bootloader, login manager, syslog deamon, mount frontend, timers (trying to replace cron), dbus client, **** DNS RESOLVER, network manager and containerization system akin to Docker. That's a lot of things for a single system to handle. And that idiot, Lennart **** Poettering, **** that up spectacularly. Systemd cannot even guarantee that your system will shutdown, it's not uncommon for the shutdown process to get stuck, leaving the system somewhere between running and off. A single slightly incorrect trivial systemd service config can cause the OS not to boot at all, giving you just terminal that has no commands, not even the standard like ls or cd.Oh you want to debug a problem with systemd? Well then look into the systemd-journald logs. Sike, ****, systemd-journald is the first thing to stop working in case of a systemd error, so you AIN'T DEBUGGING ANYTHING HAHA XD. How about debug command line parameters? Nope, WE DON'T PARSE THEM, because debug would give too many information in case something breaks. W H A T? Then there are the little things, defaulting to Google's nameservers, defaulting to Google's leap-smeared NTP servers rather than NTP servers that provide precise time, You want to cancel fsck? Nope, not possible anymore. The fsck train has no breaks. Past bugs included - mounting **** efivars as RW, making it so rm -rf / literally bricks your motherboard. DNS cache poisoning? We have that. Remote execution via DHCPv6? We have that. List of CVEs so long it spans the observable universe? We have that. Systemd-journald taking 100% of your CPU? We have that. Not being able to handle process privileges belonging to users with names starting with a number? we have that. Systemd not being able to boot if /etc/localtime is a symlink which is the CORRECT SYSTEM SETTING WHICH IS EVEN POSSIBLE TO DO VIA SYSTEMD'S OWN CONFIG TOOL? We **** have that. Anyway systemd is **** garbage and Lennart Poettering is a **** ****.====Борис05/17/2019Last night I was looking for some **** of the not gay variety.  Obviously gay **** is gay, so instead I went looking for guy on girl ****. But I realized that features a guy, with a ****, and is therefore 50% gay.  So I started looking for some girl on girl action, till I realized that is lesbian, and is therefore 100% gay. So clearly, I had to look into alternative options.  I started to consider hentai: since no one in it is real, it can’t contain guys, so it’s not gay, right? Well, hentai is anime, which not only is gay, but also makes me a weeb. The worst option so far.I considered traps. I’ve long heard debate over whether traps are gay, so I decided to do the math.  The gayness of traps lies in the premise. Let’s consider the 5 base premises:a guy and a trap, where the guy initially thinks he’s with a girl: effectively guy on girl, 50% gaya guy with a trap, and the guy knew it was a trap: Dude looking for some ****, that’s gaya girl with a trap, where the girl doesn’t know it’s a trap: that’s lesbian, and is gaya girl with a trap, where the girl knows it’s a trap: effectively guy on girl, therefore 50% gay Therefore, on average traps are 75% gay, with a minimum gayness of 50%. Not an improvement.  The 5th option, trap on trap, is a singularity of the 4 prior possibilities, and is therefore on average 75% gay again.So I got into specifics. What if it was girl on girl, and the premise was at least one of the girls was just bi-curious, and not actually fully lesbian? Well, in that case, their curiosity makes them a cat. Cats are furries, and furries are gaySo how about a girl soloing? Well that’s a girl touching girl bits. Lesbian and gay.My conclusion is that the only way to live a life free of homosexual sin is to liberate oneself of sexual desire at all, and become an asexual.Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.onjit05/17/2019========zonii05/27/2019Listen b*tch you want to call me a neckbeard? Am I a neckbeard because I enjoy art? Because I can appreciate the value of an expert crafted story, amazing gameplay, and a beautiful gameworld? Because I have experiences more than any normal human. I have saved the princess. I have defended earth from the Reaper. I have traversed time, space, dimentions. I am the Dragonborn. I am the Witcher. I am the Lone wanderer. I have challenged the elite four...and won. Does a neckbeard finish Dark Souls in one weekend without dying... oh on my try btw. And that was after making a speach on transcendental consciousness to a COLLEGE CLASS. I have solved impossible math equations BY ACCIDENT. I read philosophy books for FUN. Am I making myself clear sweetie? OR are a neuronormative goon who thinks "football" is the pinnacle of human creation? You probably couldn't even jummp on a goomba... My ansestors are smiling me, fool...Can you say the same?=====onjit05/29/2019How do I stay in top physical form becoming this athletic specimen that scientists can't even fully understand? Well it's all thanks to my work out and diet regimen now it'd make even LeBron James **** his pants. I wake up at 4 am everyday , I drink 3 raw eggs with the side of pancakes with nails sprinkled on top and also a glass of straight uranium, I then grab my favourite fidget spinner: the triple XL gold-plated 25 pound weighted Air-Cutter supreme-extreme maximum turbo overdrive spagooter with pump-action assault-grip as well as extended magazines and a silencer, I've even customised this bad boy with a laser dot sight with a green finish as well as further modifications including hydraulics, 3D printing capability as well as doubling as a fax machine. This is a gadget straight out of MI6, this is right brewed up from **** Q laboratories- he used to make gadgets for 007 now he's making fidget spinners for me. Do you still think this is a fad for kids you **** troglodyte? Well I guess if that's how you wanna spin this story, but for me I know the truth, I know that this game was made for men and I've mastered it. I live and breathe fidget spinning. So go ahead, play your boring traditional sports like football and baseball. I'll just be here like a diss-jockey spinning it. it's not easy being the grand master of fidget spinning.=====onjit05/31/2019Today I used chrome for the first time on the school computers. FF was running slow and there's no way I was going to use IE so I opened chrome. I needed to get to google, so I type in google.com and you know what happens next? It crashes. I get a little popup saying Woah! Chrome crashed! And then I dismissed it as a one-time thing.... until it kept on happening. Google Chrome would load any page except google. I would've taken a video but I didn't have my flash drive and the IT people actually know what they're doing for a change.... Without my flash drive I can't get to my proxies and other tools.=====onjit06/02/2019I hate this server. I understand it, and I agree with the idea that it's stupid to feel superior because you're different, but that whole server is like . . . people feeling superior by making fun of the people who are feeling superior by making fun of other people. It's 3 levels into meta pretentiousness. Pretentious people are pretentious and then people who hate pretention start feeling superior for their hating pretention so much that THEY get pretentious about it, and then this sub is hating THOSE people so much and feeling so superior that they get pretentious as well. Like, Jesus H Christ can we all stop judging each other please it's not worth anyone's time=====onjit06/02/2019And we‘re only 14. She shouldn‘t have to know what it feels to have your heart broken. Instead of telling her I loved her that night after the game, I was standing behind the bleachers kissing another girl. Every night you ask me why I vape when I snap you, why I do that **** to my body. I feel like it‘ll take the pain away. But the nic only lasts 10 minutes long. I get dizzy. Then I remember what I did to her.That boy you like. I hope you get him. And I hope he's nothing like me. Because god I don't want you dating someone like me. Girls aren‘t toys yet boys like me still play them.Good girls fall for douchey guys and we lead them on because we don't realize what we have until we lose it=====Tykki5206/07/2019There is absolutely no better feeling than waking up in a big bed ALONE with no female having stained my Egyptian cotton sheets. That's right - it's Saturday morning and I'm out on my balcony enjoying the view of which no woman will EVER be able to share with me. A woman would be considered lucky to be even within 20 metres of my gold coast mansion - let alone stand by my side.Life is just perfect without them, time for a :smoking:.- Chestbrother===============onjit06/14/2019Some time ago I received a call from a colleague. He was about to give a student a zero for his answer to a physics question, while the student claimed a perfect score. The instructor and the student agreed to an impartial arbiter, and I was selected. I read the examination question: "SHOW HOW IT IS POSSIBLE TO DETERMINE THE HEIGHT OF A TALL BUILDING WITH THE AID OF A BAROMETER." The student had answered, "Take the barometer to the top of the building, attach a long rope to it, lower it to the street, and then bring it up, measuring the length of the rope. The length of the rope is the height of the building."The student really had a strong case for full credit since he had really answered the question completely and correctly!On the other hand, if full credit were given, it could well contribute to a high grade in his physics course and to certify competence in physics, but the answer did not confirm this. I suggested that the student have another try.I gave the student six minutes to answer the question with the warning that the answer should show some knowledge of physics. At the end of five minutes, he had not written anything. I asked if he wished to give up, but he said he had many answers to this problem; he was just thinking of the best one. I excused myself for interrupting him and asked him to please go on.In the next minute, he dashed off his answer which read: "Take the barometer to the top of the building and lean over the edge of the roof. Drop the barometer, timing its fall with a stopwatch. Then, using the formula x=0.5at2, calculate the height of the building." At this point, I asked my colleague if he would give up. He conceded, and gave the student almost full credit.While leaving my colleague's office, I recalled that the student had said that he had other answers to the problem, so I asked him what they were."Well," said the student, "there are many ways of getting the height of a tall building with the aid of a barometer. For example, you could take the barometer out on a sunny day and measure the height of the barometer, the length of its shadow, and the length of the shadow of the building, and by the use of simple proportion, determine the height of the building. "Fine," I said, "and others?" "Yes," said the student, "there is a very basic measurement method you will like. In this method, you take the barometer and begin to walk up the stairs. As you climb the stairs, you mark off the length of the barometer along the wall. You then count the number of marks, and this will give you the height of the building in barometer units." "A very direct method." "Of course. If you want a more sophisticated method, you can tie the barometer to the end of a string, swing it as a pendulum, and determine the value of g at the street level and at the top of the building. From the difference between the two values of g, the height of the building, in principle, can be calculated.""On this same tact, you could take the barometer to the top of the building, attach a long rope to it, lower it to just above the street, and then swing it as a pendulum. You could then calculate the height of the building by the period of the precession"."Finally," he concluded, "there are many other ways of solving the problem. Probably the best," he said, "is to take the barometer to the basement and knock on the superintendent's door. When the superintendent answers, you speak to him as follows:'Mr. Superintendent, here is a fine barometer. If you will tell me the height of the building, I will give you this barometer." At this point, I asked the student if he really did not know the conventional answer to this question. He admitted that he did, but said that he was fed up with high school and college instructors trying to teach him how to think.=====onjit06/27/2019Yeah but I would outsmart you as I always do if I was your opponent because I am better than you (not saying this because I'm insecure (I have a genius level IQ (still failed school because "School isn't a place for smart people" (Rick and Morty Reference (Rick Sanchez said it (he is basically me because we are both smart (yeah you read that right I watch Rick and Morty (if any ladies are interested then PM me (I DO have a gf rn though but i cheat lol (still hate degeneracy (lol (acronym for Laugh out Loud (I didn't actually laugh out loud but I say that online because other people do sometimes (lol (whoops I did it again (lol (acronym for Laugh Out Loud (this is despite the fact I didn't laugh out loud))))))))))))))))))=====onjit06/30/2019This is not real. It is fake, the ballon is not heavy. He is just pretending. Edit- Update. I did a little bit of research.Okay I found a version of the video with audio in it and I believe I understand how he did this. The balloon is being moved around by an operator just off stage out of the cameras view. They are using a machine to control an inductive flux around the ballon. The ballon is probably filed with a gas that can be staticky charged, like argon. This is why they would use a dark ballon. So that way you can not see the gas reacting to energy in the different of the intestines of flux. “Glowing”. One of the small give aways is that when he jerks his body around, his hat moves and even falls off. But his metal glasses never fall off.But the major part of the video that gives this whole trick away. It’s when she pops the ballon, you can see him fall towards it.=====onjit07/16/2019Do you know how many of my peers I've tutored over the years? The best example of me being smart, is i used to skip my cegep classes so much. I hadnt been to this math and logic class in like 2 weeks, i showed up, figured out what was going on in like 5 minutes, and then i helped my friend figure out what was going on.=====TorvakMOS07/18/2019I’m a 13 year old atheist and it’s funny seeing the ‘minds’ in twitch chat entertained by a children’s videogame lmao. Whenever you idiots “ Pog-Champ” or “ Omega-Lul”, I am studying the works of Plato, Sun Tzu, Richard and Mortimer etc. and expanding my knowledge. Guess who will have the better job in 10 years?====TorvakMOS07/20/2019I was very self aware when i was young and still am. I used to suck pebis at socializing. But i was able to figure out how to do it. Still not great at it but im able to be me for the most part when im with people i dont know======Bimps07/21/2019Paper is a very important product in our society. Writers and artists have greatly benefited from the invention of paper. With only some paper and a pen or pencil, a writer can produce stories and poems that can captivate readers. They can also write down historical facts about their society. Actually, these writings don’t become historical until years later. At the time, the writings could probably be considered news. Artists use paper for their drawings and paintings. They can also use canvas. Drawings and paintings can be very beautiful. They can depict a wide variety of subjects, including flowers, animals, landscapes, and people. They can be realistic or impressionistic. Some paintings also attempt to convey emotions merely by the way the colors are combined and the brushstrokes are applied. This is a modern or contemporary approach to art. Many people think this approach does not require as much talent as the realistic styles.I will end my writing here. I have tried to make it very boring, and I hope I have succeeded. There are plenty of boring documents available for you to read. Check your public library for more information. You can also find boring materials at a bookstore or on websites. Sometimes this information can be found in magazines (which I mentioned earlier).======onjit07/28/2019This is a COPY PASTA. This text is the DESIGN upon the copy pasta. The TEXT is to help PROLIFERATE the copy pasta... A good pasta DESIGN is one that attracts more readers and gives more pleasure. This text is trying to pull you in much like an eye-catching picture-meme. It is designed to get you to READ IT. This is called luring the VICTIM, and you are the VICTIM. But if you have a free mind you should STOP READING NOW! Because all I am attempting to do is to get you to read on. Yet this is a DOUBLE BIND because if you indeed stop you'll be doing what I tell you, and if you read on you'll be doing what I've wanted all along. And the more you read on the more you're falling for this simple device of telling you exactly how a good copy pasta works. They're TRICKS and this is the worst TRICK of all since it's describing the TRICK whilst trying to TRICK you, and if you've read this far then you're TRICKED but you wouldn't have known this unless you'd read this far. At least I'm telling you directly instead of seducing you with a beautiful or haunting visual-meme that may never tell you. I'm letting you know that you ought to proliferate this pasta because in essence it's a MEME and MEMES are to be consumed and you are a consumer and this is a good MEME.=====onjit07/29/2019Do you even know who you're talking to? I'm a **** prodigy. I was raised in a private school and got straight A's in all subjects. I later went on to become the captain of the debate team in my high school due to my uncanny gift with words and opinions. I have a masters degree in political science and liberal arts. I am smarter than anyone you will ever know. I have an iq of 250 which was recognised by a professional group of elite scientists. How **** dare you challenge my masterfully crafted opinions. I rub shoulders with the richest and smartest people in the world who can make you disappear without a **** trace. I know why you are questioning me. You are simply jealous of me living the high life while you suck **** and contract STD's for drug money. You **** peasant. You are dirt. Filth. You should know your place in this world already. I'm done with you. I've had enough of your petty arguments and low iq. Im going to engage in some real discussion with intellectuals such as myself somewhere else. I hope that in a few years, you will realise your place and cringe at your old points and worship me and my high Iq.Goodbye.=====onjit08/03/2019WOW kid you just got R/WOOOOOOSHED!!!! :joy::joy::eyes: "Wooosh" means you didn't get the joke, as in the sound made when the joke "woooshes" over your head. WOW kid you just got R/WOOOOOOSHED!!!! :joy::joy::eyes: "Wooosh" means you didn't get the joke, as in the sound made when the joke "woooshes" over your head. I bet you're too stupid to get it, IDIOT!! :triumph::triumph::joy: My joke was so thoughtfully crafted and took me a total of 3 minutes, you SHOULD be laughing. 🤬 What's that? My joke is bad? I think that's just because you failed. I outsmarted you, nitwit.🤭 In conclusion, I am posting this to the community known as "R/Wooooosh" to claim my internet points in your embarrassment . Imbecile. The Germans refer to this action as "Schadenfreude," which means "harm-joy" :grimacing::astonished:. WOW! 🤪 Another reference I had to explain to you. 🤦♂️🤭 I am going to cease this conversation for I do not converse with simple minded persons.:smirk::joy:=====pingo08/21/2019There's something called FREEDOM OF SPEECH. But then there's also something called HATE . And you my friend is in the HATE side , even though I'm in no way a 50 Fan , I do realize thatI've been listening to Hip Hop since 1985 . I know the in and out of the game, and I can tell ..that you don't have idea what you're talking about, THIS it's a CLASSIC . AN AMAZING ALBUM. The beats , the flow ,, lyrics and direction of the album. Give this project its own personality. very dope album=====Helist08/22/2019Yes, games sort of "objectify women" according to mainstream media, dude. But as a player or streamer I don't give a ****. I don't give a ****, dude. The product is delivered to be consumed in a certain way and I'm consuming ALL of it. Yeah, I'm not afraid of saying it. When I see **** in games, I get HARD. Way harder I should be. Yep, and I don't give a ****, I love it. And, dude, I'm not afraid of saying it, I think it's fine. The game devs want me to consume it this way- sounds good to me.======whomstdve08/22/2019Well I am not foolish and incorrect. Do you even know who you're talking to? I'm a **** prodigy. I was raised in a private school and got straight A's in all subjects. I later went on to become the captain of the debate team in my high school due to my uncanny gift with words and opinions. I have a masters degree in political science and liberal arts. I am smarter than anyone you will ever know. I have an iq of 250 which was recognised by a professional group of elite scientists. How **** dare you challenge my masterfully crafted opinions. I rub shoulders with the richest and smartest people in the world who can make you disappear without a **** trace. I know why you are questioning me. You are simply jealous of me living the high life while you suck **** and contract STD's for drug money. You **** peasant. You are dirt. Filth. You should know your place in this world already. I'm done with you. I've had enough of your petty arguments and low iq. Im going to engage in some real discussion with intellectuals such as myself somewhere else. I hope that in a few years, you will realise your place and cringe at your old points and worship me and my high Iq. Goodbye.======Helist08/31/2019Enlightening Piece of Literature Since reading this classic in American Literature, I have achieved enlightenment. The positioning of the words in each sentence, the sheer articularity, is impeccable. Since reading this novel I have seen the face of God and achieved Nirvana. My charisma and comedy skills have increased ten-thousandfold. I now have an IQ of 1.4x1032. The universe simply bends to my will.When I first purchased this book, the era when I was mortal, I foolishly had not expected much. However, when I sat down in my 8th grade English class, and read the first joke, my mind became one with the Universe. My eyes went glazed, and every female in the classroom turned to me, as they smelled the greatness of my genetics and male pheromones through the air.The teacher turned to me and asked if I had something to say. I simply read the joke that I saw first when opening a random page.“Did you hear about the player that was so freaked out that when she was attacked by a few mobs, she forgot to use her sword?what a noob”These mere mortals, not reading the words on paper, missed out on the joke’s elegance and humor. Until, I heard a kid next to me laugh out loud, producing sound waves at a frequency of 790 Hz exactly. I turn, looking for the genius in the classroom who can grasp such humor. The kid?Albert Einstein=========onjit09/02/2019Humor a bipolar guy and read a semi-manic rant, it won't be any more **** than any movie you try to watch. Here goes. Delete social media (especially facebook and instagram) and limit any form of media platform with 'unlimited' content (ideally quit, but holy **** it's hard). This recognition of the 'unlimited' aspect was a complete game changer for me, if you take anything from this rant, take this part: the endless reddit/fb/insta feed, avoid like the plague. This is cliched advice, but these companies are literally some of, if not the biggest spenders on psychologists in the world, specifically designing their products to keep you addicted to their platform and to always have them in the back of your mind. This is the whole essence of their value to investors and advertisers, otherwise they have no incentive to exist at a business level, so they just get better and better at it every year, it's an established science of its own at this point. This has become normalised, but it's not, it's **** insane. Anyone from the pre-smartphone era remembers not being addicted to low depth, high intensity media that gives little dopamine hits every thirty seconds, but we don't like to go in to depth about it because we all recognise that we're all a bit addicted too, and change is hard. Look at the insane tantrums toddlers have when their phones are taken. We saw lesser versions of this with console games when I was a kid and this is a step above that, I'm not saying you're like that, but it shows the effect these things have on our minds. We didn't evolve to handle this. This **** is like a sea of competing man-made mind-viruses, with prize money for the most persuasive and addictive (literally). Don't fear missing out on **** online, that's what they're paid to convince you of, and try your best to see past their techno-carny ****.=====onjit09/07/2019Guys, you that I always say I am drunk and I cuss so I am not a kid. Why do people keep saying this? How can I prove myself that I am a adult in discord? Alright this is the last thing I am gonna say. I am really a adult, I have 3 kids, delivery is my job, my IQ is 163. That's the last thing that has to be related if I am a adult or not, now stop. Enough now, do not say anything about me again. I do not watch little kid shows or play any kid games. I only play teen or mature 17+ I already quit school. I also got jailed for 5 years for going to USA without permission. You should better stop lying about my age or else I ignore. I am not a kid. I have a credit card and job and kids. I quitted school at 1984I know how to drive ok? I am not a kid. Also, I am 5' 7", that means it is impossible for me to be a kid=====pingo09/09/2019(pushes up glasses)That's the purpose, Wiser. The trajectory of humor in this modern age is approaching a critical point. It is the point where abstraction becomes realism; when less meaning is more.Take James Joyce's cerebral post-modernist work, Finnegan's Wake. For the uninitiated, this piece of writing is completely nonsensical, but when one delves into the purpose of Wake, it becomes apparent that the purpose is to be purposeless. In comparison, humor in 2019 functions the same way. The online community has become too accustomed to "understanding", and now embellishes a paradigm shift travelling towards "misunderstanding". To know is not to know. Do you understand, Wiser? Because if you did, then you're missing the point.=====onjit09/10/2019This is my biggest problem in life . . . and my college instructors are average at best. It's hard to get anything done when you have to actively think about what you are going to say and immediately dumb it down so more than 5% of the room will get it. I've had to be graded by an independent adjudicator on 3 separate occasions because my theses on papers are somewhat far fetched but still within the guidelines for the paper, and i was later given A's on all 3 papers. I just want to make an original paper instead of something that has been exhausted. In many forms, this issue constantly crops up for me in the academic world but nowhere near as much in the work world. This has led me to be stuck working with people of diminished or non-existent intelligence because to progress in the work world, one must deal with Academia.Hints anyone?=====onjit09/10/2019One times one is two.How?If one times one equals one that means that two is of no value because one times itself has no effect. One times one equals two because the square root of four is two, so what's the square root of two? Should be one, but we're told it's two, and that cannot be=====onjit09/10/2019In conclusion, I felt it was one of the lesser tomes in the Berenstain Bears anthology. I felt that the portrayal of Mama Bear was saturated in the logic of the patriarchy and heteronormativity while Papa Bear was a fairly transparent and ill-conceived representation of toxic masculinity and the effects of consumerist capitalist ideology. While Honey bear and Sister bear did pique my interest the use of their characters to represent the nature of political subjectivity in relation to the transition from post-modernity to post-post-modernity was sophomoric at best. I give this particular text a 3 out of 5 stars. I hope my critique was dumbed down enough for your plebeian sensibilities=====onjit09/10/2019All over the internet, I notice you churlish cretins lauding the supposedly intellectual television program known as Rick and Morty to make yourselves appear more intelligent by extension, as you are ardent watchers of the aforementioned show. However, you piddling planarians only succeed in illustrating how vapid you really are, as Rick and Morty has the intellectual depth of a petri dish. Truly, the most noetic show is neither Rick and Morty, the Big Bang Theory, Jimmy Neutron, nor any other deluge of drivel you deludable dimwits bombard your brains with. Rather, it is Johnny Test, a pinnacle of animation, sound design, acting, and plot. Despite this, most of you sniveling sub-10000s (someone with an IQ under 10000: for the record, my IQ is several orders of magnitude higher than this; my reason for my usage of this term is simply because I am partial to the number 10000) will dismiss Johnny Test as another subpar piece of rubbish from Teletoon, but you all fail to realize how much genius goes into producing that show. I have watched Johnny Test since I was a juvenile, and already I bear an IQ so toweringly high no known test can measure it (that is to say, no known test for humans can measure it: when using the scale with which computer processing power is evaluated, I clock in at over 8.3 trecentillion yottaflops).I have memorized every facet of human knowledge and only used 32.8% of my potential intelligence (my remaining neurons I allocate towards personal use, research, and wealthy companies for use as server farms and bitcoin mines). Not only that, but I have transformed all of the atoms in my being into a quantum computer to serve as an extension to my enormous encephalon, which handles the menial tasks and other trivialities associated with existence (such as respiration, ingestion, digestion, socializing, et cetera). Capable of perorating proficiently in every method of communication in the world, I have developed my own language that employs a manifold of grammar rules, and I created it all while thrashing a coalition of humanity’s smartest supercomputers in a game of Tic-Tac-Toe (for those who say that Tic-Tac-Toe is “easy,” think about the all the times you’ve played Tic-Tac-Toe: a majority were ties, no?Think about that, and also about the fact that a single, solitary supercomputer, much less over a dozen, is smarter than millions of you combined). And no, you cannot see me type this language because it is purely telepathic. At this point, I can imagine several of you already typing frantically in a fervent effort to keep your egos afloat in the face of such psychological grandeur. That’s right, the collective intelligence of all of you, if we’re using luminosity as an analogy, is akin to a diminutive candle in comparison to the massive quasar that represents my mind. Confronted with this, most of you will attempt to deride me with paltry, nonsensical invective and vitriolic vituperations to protect what minuscule amount of self-esteem you possess. These predictions are not the result of mere intuition, of course. In actuality, I have run several simulations using my brain alone on the possible consequences of my publication of this digital manuscription. My reply to all of you digital detractors is that if you so desire to demonstrate that you are brainier than I, then arrange for an intellectual debate between you and me on a topic of your choosing, any time or place.My schedule is very pliable as I’ve already won over 4 dozen nobel prizes, so I’m perfectly willing to put a temporary halt to my research, if you could even call it that (I speculate without demur that none of your debate skills will be enough of a problem for me to the point where I will be forced to snap out out of my subconscious simulations to employ the use of those neurons). Besides, I don’t want to be a glory hog and leave none of the secrets of the universe left for unlocking. You know, let the dogs have their day and all of that. I already know that none of you simpletons with your senescent synapses will be able to match up to my vast vernacular and verbiage, my mental dexterity with declension, and my phrenic puissance with my phraseology and pronunciation. In a matter of seconds (or possibly longer, if I’ve overestimated your already positively benthic IQs when running my simulations), you’ll fly into cantankerous conniptions after my consummate trouncing and repudiation of every single one of the “facts” that you hold so dear as proof of your purported intellect. And in response to those who claim, overcome with envy and spite, that as intelligent as I am, I will never sleep with anyone: I don’t need to. I am quite capable of simulating, to the meagerest tactile sensation, every position in the Kama Sutra (as well as a few I myself have devised for maximum oxytocin and endorphin release) simultaneously in a few seconds, and the only reason it takes even that long is because I am prolonging the simulation in order to enjoy the experience: I could do it in hundredths of a millisecond if I so wish. However, for someone with such acute acumen as I, life is far too easy.When pure ennui drives you to calculate the movements of the 27 subatomic particles you’ve discovered and how they interact with one another in the 2,038th dimension using a base 3.2407 quadrillion number system, you realize that the universe and its infinite copies and offshoots offer nothing more to you. Except, that is, for Johnny Test. Even for an individual with such altitudinous IQ such as myself, it’s difficult to understand every single subtle joke and reference. That’s not to say I don’t understand any of the plenitude of allusions, in fact, I am able to comprehend virtually every single one. For example, one minutia most of you would fail to notice is when Susan’s chin moves two extra pixels further than in any of the previous episodes when she talks during the seventeenth second of the fifth minute of season 3 episode 10. Hardly any of you would conceive of the fact that this is a reference to the exact number, down to 84 significant figures, of the percent change in total nitrogen in the Earth’s atmosphere due to the eructation of a small cynodont 257 million years ago.There are more examples I could give, such as the color of the walls of the sisters’ lab being a slightly different hue from the norm in season 4 episode 19 (a reference to the presence of approximately 2.9 millimoles of ammonium diuranate in the ink of a Chinese manuscript dated 1256 BCE), but that would detract from the intended purpose of this writing. Johnny Test is a work of art, a perfect concoction of knowledge from a multitude of academic fields that combine to make a program that is the only form of media I have ever encountered that has been even somewhat laborious for me to fathom, and I’m talking about someone who altered the biochemistry and chirality of their body in order to make it more efficient than the prodigality that is the human body. My temples ache with the pain of having to pump copious amounts of Testium (an element I discovered that takes the role of oxygen in my unique biochemistry, named after my favorite show of course) to my brain in order to comprehend what I have just watched. And to everybody who claims that the reason my temples are sore or why I have “delusions of grandeur” are due to my being “high” or whichever way you aim to construe my exegesis of an episode, you will hear vocalizations of a gelatological nature emanating from my larynx whilst Xyzyzyx the paisley pangolin (a treasured acquaintance of mine) and I reflect on your foolishness later that day. I await the furious fussilade of odious obluquies and belittling bombast in the comments below. “Too long; Did not read”: Did you really think I would include one of these silly little things at the bottom of my witty wordsmithery? It's not my fault if you can't handle my de trop of definitions or my lexical linguipotence! Get back up there and read it, even if you have to go through it with dictionary in hand.===== ^ All the same pasta btw - this is what we like to call in "the biz" a spaghettiBeardlicker09/20/2019Not funny I didn't laugh. Your joke is so bad I would have preferred the joke went over my head and you gave up re-telling me the joke. To be honest this is a horrid attempt at trying to get a laugh out of me. Not a chuckle, not a hehe, not even a subtle burst of air out of my esophagus. Science says before you laugh your brain preps your face muscles but I didn't even feel the slightest twitch. 0/10 this joke is so bad I cannot believe anyone legally allowed you to be creative at all. The amount of brain power you must have put into that joke has the potential to power every house on Earth. Get a personality and learn how to make jokes, read a book. I'm not saying this to be funny I genuinely mean it on how this is just bottom barrel embarrassment at comedy. You've single handedly killed humor andevery comedic act on the planet.I'm so disappointed that society has failed as a whole in being able to teach you how to be funny. Honestly if I put in all my power and time to try and make your joke funny it would require Einstein himself to build a device to strap me into so I can be connected to the energy of a billion stars to do it, and even then all that joke would get from people is a subtle scuff. You're lucky I still have the slightest of empathy for you after telling that joke otherwise I would have committed every war crime in the book just to prevent you from attempting any humor ever again. We should put that joke in text books so future generations can be wary of becoming such an absolute comedic failure. Im disappointed, hurt, and outright offended that my precious time has been wasted in my brain understanding that joke. In the time that took I was planning on helping kids who have been orphaned, but because of that you've waisted my time explaining the obscene integrity of your terrible attempt at comedy. Now those kids are suffering without meals and there's nobody to blame but you. I hope you're happy with what you have done and I truly hope you can move on and learn from this **** poor attempt.=======onjit09/24/2019PhD in journalism chiming in. The transition to sensationalism started in the 80s. Though most people blame the rise of the 24 hour news cycle, the real birth can be credited to a song called "Dont Stop Believin" that was released by a band named 'Journey' in 1981.In the song, the band posits that "some will win, some will lose" and "some were born to sing the blues".This, of course, got a lot of people riled up, because sometimes there are also ties. It also takes a lot of hard work and dedication to sing the blues, and rarely are people born to do it.The controversy around this song escalated with both sides of the political party taking opposing viewpoints. Once the internet became mainstream in the 90s, this hot topic snowballed and modern sensationalism was born.=====Helist09/27/2019I cannot think or comprehend of anything more cucked than having a daughter. Honestly, think about it rationally. You are feeding, clothing, raising and rearing a girl for at least 18 years solely so she can go and get ravaged by another man. All the hard work you put into your beautiful little girl - reading her stories at bedtime, making her go to sports practice, making sure she had a healthy diet, educating her, playing with her. All of it has one simple result: her body is more enjoyable for other men.Raised the perfect girl? Great. Who benefits? If you're lucky, a random man who had nothing to do with the way she grew up, who marries her. He gets to ravage her every night. He gets the benefits of her kind and sweet personality that came from the way you raised her.As a man who has a daughter, you are LITERALLY dedicating at least 20 years of your life simply to raise a girl for another man to enjoy. It is the ULTIMATE AND FINAL ****. Think about it logically.======TorvakMOS09/27/2019you should take your own advicebeing snide and calling people out specifically as if you were in a lunchroom isn't that much more productivebut I'll duly note what you have to say for my future commentsI'm pretentious but i never speak just to hear myself talkat least intentionally======onjit09/28/2019While everyone acknowledges the humorous aspect of the image where the legs appear to be the performers’ very own legs, you feigned ignorance and pretended that you were completely oblivious to this seemingly obvious confusing perspective. I must admit that the act of reading your comment prompted the release of a small flow of air exiting from my dominant nostril and for that, good sir, I must command you on your wonderful sense of humor. May you keep feigning ignorance for the purpose of comedy on this great Internet page.======onjit08/11/2019I go to school everyday with an open mind and a happy face. People think I’m something I’m not. I finally found a place where I fit in. Or have i? I came here to let go of my problems and think of my love. Her names Myah and she had been on my mind lately, I once went to a dance just to dance with her than I left knowing I accomplished one further step. Recently though she’s been hanging w this other guy and there getting really close. He is an ok guy but is very rude and I can’t figure out why she likes him. She has also been hanging with a new friend group that gives bad influences. But nothing can deteriorate my love for her. I know we might not be a match but if you ever find my comment, I love you...=====Yoooo if you going through something, just know it's light at the end of the tunnel! I've been away from my family for 3 years, isolated by myself and this music has helped me in so many ways. Embrace who you are, be strong and confident in knowing YOU ARE SOMEONE. NOBODY will ever be able to change that. Find your purpose and dwell in it. Thrive of positive energy and learn from the negative energy. Life is amazing even through ****. I love all my people. Continue to be blessed. Now smoke that blunt and exhale all the stress!:-)=====It's kind of sad for me to think about but since everyone is posting their stories here, I guess I'll post mine too, coming from a person who once considered suicide: I was "accidentally" (lets say that my mom enrolled me to a horrible school without letting me know what it is in the first place) enrolled to a government-facilitated school out of a few thousands(I passed the examination test like a rabbit being lead to a trap). Everyday in school I always walk alone in and out, without really much having any matching social skills with the other students, but I befriended many dogs there and they accompany me. Whenever i get sad on a set of stairs and sit there, the dogs would come and greet me regardless for what emotion I feel. They are the ones who stick by me no matter what mood I feel or how the gross thoughts gush out to me like shattered glass. And they're not even humans. People would pass by me as I cry, and they comfort other folks who they too cry but not loud as I.Of course, neglect became a normality to me during these highschool years, and I don't even like to talk about highschool because it really sucks. It's not fair that everyone else get good highschools and musicals with dreams, but from the comment sections of various lo-fi mixes, I now know I'm not alone. I'm not the only one who hangs with dogs than people and I'm not the only one who has a bad highschool. I have a good love life, and he's taking good care of me, but it's still sad that only one person actually loves me inside and out and how we're millions of miles apart. But I'll get there soon and it would all be worth it. I won't have to think about jumping in a few years because that feeling will surpass. I still have 2 years left of highschool and I will leave that out just like I did with my childhood. Because anyway, teenage angst is only temporary and this is just a warm-up for the next step to adulthood. It's scary-sounding but I like to fear things, which is why I love to laugh at horror movies and laugh at screaming frogs.=====Eh I have dabbled into this music for quite a while now and I think I’ve fully embraced it. The community that follows with it is amazing and I see that everyone is writing their stories so here is mine. In the 7th grade I found a girl I really liked and could talk to about anything, I fell in love. Several year and she was still going around dating other guys and she had finally told me freshman year she had liked me, I couldn’t believe it, after all that time it took for her to tell me, I was so excited... but then she started dating this guy who was several years above us and was so confused. I had wasted so much time with her for 2 years as a friend only to get thrown to the side. Fast forward a couple years and we’ve both moved away from eachother and go to the same school. I have had several girlfriends since then and she is the only one I get caught up thinking about. I don’t truly know what’s wrong with me. What is love? Is it just a way of telling yourself that you want to cherish a certain person everyday? If so then I don’t believe I’ve ever been in love, I know I’m contradicting myself but girls suck, I’m starting to talk to a new girl that I meet over the internet and her name is Aria, she is beautiful and splendid overall.Anyways after being side tracked Bailee, the girl from the previous story is trying to talk to me again and I don’t know what to do, I’m trying to move on from a failed friendship and make amends to someone new. My best friends from the start of highschool are not who they once were and they have changed. Ethan my best friend for about 3 years (6th to 9th) and after freshmen year I kinda dropped out of friends after days of thoughts on how I wanted to change myself. Now I’m not sure who is a friend anymore, I’m sure a friend is someone who you would miss if they suddenly passed away but I don’t know if I have anyone like that. Times are rough for this senior moving to New Mexico in 3 months and doesn’t know how or why to make friends... if you read all of this I’m sorry.=====This year I started a new school and I thought I was going to be better. I've been looking forward to going to this school for two years and it was one of the few saving graces I had left. I'm not saying I don't like it here, I'm just saying that all my hopes of finally overcoming my depression and anxiety are falling short. This place was supposed to make me feel happy and free, but I still feel stuck. Stuck in my anxiety, stuck in this mindset, stuck in the same old, same old of everyday life. I thought that I was better. I thought that I was going to leave everything behind me when I left, but I didn't. About a week ago I realized that I've been lying to myself for over two years and I don't know how to handle it... For two years I've convinced myself that I am better, that I am stronger, but I'm not. I've just gotten better at lying to myself and everyone around me. I'm still struggling with this new found information but I've gotten better. I'm sorry for ranting, I just really needed to get this off my chest.=====pingo08/16/2019Hey dad I miss you. Hope you're having fun on your extended vacation.When are you coming home? It's tough on mom. Dennis (her friend who lives here now) drinks a lot and he smells.I have heard them really mad at each other at night and mom says that okay and she likes it. But I miss playing Super Mario 64 with you and you doing all the under water parts for me so I don't cry and throw up on the rug again. Dennis throws up on that rug now.====onjit09/14/20191. i wake up 2. i left to go see my friends3. i laughed with them4. played with them5. i helped them6. i blink and i...read 2,3,4,5,6,1=====onjit05/08/2019Watashi wa a victim of cyberbullying. Everyday someone online calls me a "weeb" desu. Watashi won't stand for this. 26 percent of bullying victims are chosen due to their race or religion desu. I may look like a basic white boy, but deep down I am Nihongo desu. Watashi religion is anime. Anata wa bullying me because of my race and religion desu ka? Disgusting desu. Anata should be ashamed of yourself, racist pig. A baka gaijin like anata is probably jealous of my race and culture, cause Nippon is more sugoi than your kisama country desu. Watashi pity anata. You'll never be Nihongo like watashi. I'm a weeb? Pfft. I AM AN OTAKU DESU. Educate yourself on nani a "weeb" is before anata try to insult watashi desu. I WILL NOT BE CYBERBULLIED ANYMORE. REPORTED.=====onjit05/19/2019I've tackled this series with pessimism. I've been told that the first game was pretty alright, so I figured let's pick it up while it's on sale. And before I knew it I became hooked, and all I ever talked about was Danganronpa. I'd see something and say, "hey that reminds me of so and so from Danganronpa." And while I hated this transformation of me, I've come to embrace it. I read that this ending was very controversial; many called it the worst possible way that the series could've ended. But in my case, as someone who fell victim to anime and its addictive and destructive properties, I felt the ending was a proper sendoff. For those who read this review before playing the game, I won't mention any spoilers. I will say that after my absolute dedication and attachment to the series, this game has left me at peace. Danganronpa is FINALLY over, and I don't have to fall victim to it's twisted and diabolical tricks ever again. Maybe I will get a life again, and maybe I won't just make stupid references and jokes to it and maybe I'll get my soul and normal self back. Anime has removed my ambition for anything and everything. And while Danganronpa V3 may not have ended the way I expected...thank Christ it's over. I'm not sure if I'm glad I played the games and watched the anime, because while I enjoyed doing it, it really ate my time. But maybe that's a sign of me being weak-willed. I'm glad this series is over. If no other Danganronpa game ever comes out, that's probably the best for my time and psyche. But if another comes out, I am certain that I will buy it, play it, and become addicted all over again. God damn I love anime.=====onjit08/19/2019Cute anime girls are the most powerful thing on the planet. There's an anime out right now thats literally just about cute girls working out at a gym and I've started working out more often. It's insidious.======onjit02/26/2019Furries attract social outcasts, those otherwise shunned people obviously do not practice acceptable social behavior. This kind of generalization might offend you and you may consider it "toxic", but when talking of macro-group compositions I have not seen any evidence, anecdotally, to prove otherwise. I confidently say that as a group, furries are degenerate scum (again according to the societal standards). Perhaps it's because furry-"dom" centers around hedonism and sexual fetishism.=====I'm all for live and let live, let your freak flag fly, but there's still no question that being a self-professed furry means you're a **** weirdo that normal people probably shouldn't associate with. The internet has desensitized us all, I mean, there's a guy on here who ruined his life by spending all his money on buying and **** rubber dragons, and that's hilarious and great but it's still obvious that that guy is **** up. Furries have been so normalised that you have to take a step back to realize how utterly bizarre the whole thing is. And it's a choice to be a furry. If you're making choices you should expect to bear the full brunt of people's judgement without calling it racism because it isn't. But you do you anyway, I guess. Just not at the park in front of kids, probably======onjit03/01/2019Does anyone else like furries? I know I do. Fursonas (fur personas) guide human beings to an alternate reality: one where us furries can be strong, vigilant, compassionate, as well as multiple other facets. Where we were otherwise quiet, "muted" human beings we are able to open up to the hearts of others, hearts of our own. Such stigma these days is contradictory to our intent--we only wish to exist as opened up individuals, ones where we are able to express what we are in the inside. That is the power of fursonas