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#1 2019-07-17 07:59:27

sxrrealism
Formerly Arizona0117
From: europe
Joined: 2018-06-08
Posts: 347

a feeling of not belonging

this is probably going to be a semi-long post about something actually serious for once, mostly ramblings and whatnot.



having spent my whole life in a small suburban town with a populous of around 80k people in scotland, i've come to realise i don't belong here. or maybe that's just how i feel. i never really thought about it until relatively recently, where i was talking with my girlfriend in a call and how i really like modern architecture and how i hate living in the suburban. it wasn't that interesting of a conversation because talking about architecture isn't that interesting, at least for people who don't care about it, but it's something i'm really passionate about. i've always dreamt about being able to wake up in a modern appartment in a modern city, somewhere in the world. take for example, mirror's edge: catalyst. that game is great, but i didn't play it for that. well, i did, but i mainly played it because of the setting, the architecture, the future of urbanism. i hate waking up in a boring blue room, in a cheap terrace house, in a town that i'm scared to even walk about in, in the united kingdom. i've always believed, always felt that living in a place i hate has had a huge toll on my own mental health. don't get me wrong, it's nice for some people but it's not for me. i hate my town, house, country. i don't even feel scottish. i don't feel like i'm part of my country. i don't even like knowing i was born here or even in the united kingdom for that matter. scotland can burn along with the rest of the united kingdom.


a

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#2 2019-07-17 08:13:52, last edited by Tomahawk (2019-07-17 19:27:25)

NorwegianboyEE
Member
From: Norway
Joined: 2015-03-16
Posts: 1,704

Re: a feeling of not belonging

I felt the same, so i took a 6 week long study in Tokyo, Japan. I lived in the most urban of urban areas. I don’t think you could get anymore urban unless you went to New York. There was concrete and buildings everywhere, not a speck of natural flora. Shops, apartments, the occasional park. I really liked it there, so i took an one-year dtudy exchange to a Japanese university the next year because i wanted to experience more of urban life. I had to take the subway every day, there was always somewhere new and exciting to go. And i think, after all that time spent in a foreign country. I came to appreciate my own country as well. I realized that there is some good things about living here.
So my advice to you, travel! See the world. Go to excotic places. Maybe just London if you don’t want to go so far, but i recommend going further.

MODMERGE:

Can’t edit my posts for some reason so i’ll make a new one.
So yeah i just want you to know that i felt almost exactly the same way like you did. But it’s amazing the transformation i went through. It started with me basically giving the finger to Norway when i took of the airplane to leave the country, then cue me 8-9 months later having moments on my apartment bed in Takarazuka going "Boo hoo! I miss my family! I miss Norway!! ;("
Just temporary of course, i still very much liked it there. But i almost feel like i learned more about myself when leaving than i would have if i’d just stayed at home. I actually never thought of myself as particurarily loving of my own family or emotional and stuff, yet when i was just about to leave my family for 1 year i started crying and sobbing uncontrollably, hugging my grandpa and experienced probably the most emotional moment in my life. Yet now when i’m back in Norway i feel like i could very much travel to another foreign country again, without much issue. But i also feel more at peace with myself. I’m ok with living here because i know i can leave whenever i wish. If for some reason i want to, i could just buy a plane ticket and be on my way outta here. And that is a comfortable feeling.


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#3 2019-07-17 13:44:47

Anatoly
Member
From: Germany, Bavaria, Munich
Joined: 2015-07-31
Posts: 6,245

Re: a feeling of not belonging

I feel the same.


Best regards,
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Anatoly.

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#4 2019-07-17 19:29:00

Tomahawk
Forum Mod
From: BiH
Joined: 2015-02-18
Posts: 2,085

Re: a feeling of not belonging

If you wanna be cynical about it, nobody belongs anywhere. You just don't like your town.

Patriotism isn't obligatory either.


One bot to rule them all, one bot to find them. One bot to bring them all... and with this cliché blind them.

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#5 2019-07-17 21:11:09

mrjawapa
Member
From: Ohio, USA
Joined: 2015-02-15
Posts: 5,015
Website

Re: a feeling of not belonging

Tomahawk wrote:

Patriotism isn't obligatory either.

It is in america.
Dare say you dont like America, and someone will be threatening to off you and your family


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#6 2019-07-17 23:25:23

NoNK
Member
Joined: 2019-07-13
Posts: 216

Re: a feeling of not belonging

Patriotism is a virtue~!

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#7 2019-07-17 23:30:01

HomerJC170
Member
From: 42.39561, -71.13051
Joined: 2015-08-11
Posts: 67

Re: a feeling of not belonging

>"i don't like america"
>>"gO dIE yOU cOmmIE"

Last edited by Xenonetix (Today 5:30 pm)


HOMERJC170.png

Thanks XENONETIX, very cool!
Last edited by Xenonetix (Today 2:34 pm)

"Rule #1: Be slightly annoying, not too much to where it could cause a problem, but just enough to where you are annoying."
"Rule #2: All your heros will die."

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