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#1 2017-08-12 06:35:05

Abelysk
Formerly Kefka
From: No
Joined: 2015-02-16
Posts: 2,470
Website

Motivation for weight loss

I have 0 motivation for weight loss.

I'm lazy to hit the gym or do anything, what do I do? Anyone lost weight and care to share your secrets?


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#2 2017-08-12 06:39:21

Different55
Forum Admin
Joined: 2015-02-07
Posts: 14,787

Re: Motivation for weight loss

My advice to you is stay away from fiber.

I used to be fat, right?
So I go on fitness websites to find a solution.
My main issue is that I eat like a convenience store dumpster. Apparently things with loads of fiber are going to save my filthy soul. "Fiber is digested slowly," they said. "It makes you feel full longer and helps with digestion." So I go out and buy two big ol' boxes of fiber-heavy breakfast bars.
And on the first day I have fiber bars for breakfast, lunch, and a *lot* of snacks. I don't poop that day.
And on the second day I fiber myself up even more. I don't poop that day either.
The fiber gods are surely working their ancient magic in my colon. I can feel the pounds dropping off because I'm not very hungry anymore.
I don't poop on the third day.
I don't poop on the fourth day.
And then the final day dawned. I have my morning coffee and I start feeling my insides rumble in that horrifyingly familiar way. The second I hit the toilet, the weirdest fart in the world exits me.
It's whistling.
Just a thin, continuous airstream of fart that smells like grandpapa's coffin. No sound other than the whistling hiss. Suddenly, it stops. The hole is plugged.
SOS
It's so solid it feels like I'm giving anal birth to Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. I hang to the shower curtain and pray. The Rock shoots out of my butthole at mach speed. My entire butt is soaked in toilet water.

And that's when the fun began.

A fart that could do more damage to the ozone layer than aerosol ever did is now shooting butt bullets out of me. Just solid and perfectly round poo pellets. And the smell. The smell is killing me. At this point I'm actually starting to black out a little. My vision is starting to get a little hazy around the edges. The thuds of nuggets shooting around the bowl propelled by my insane fiber flatulence is giving me war flashbacks. I wasn't even in 'nam.
And after all of this my guts are now yelling in German at me. Sounds like a moose in heat lives in my belly. Most of the stuff coming out of me by this point isn't even digested. It was just forced out by all the gas that had been building up, turning me into a biological weapon of mass destruction that North Korea would kill for.

After an hour of this it finally seems to be over. I'm shivering and crying. Both of my legs collapse as I try to stand up. My stomach hitting the bathroom tiles forces one last trumpet call.
>gondorcallsforaid.jpg
I shakily wipe my butt. It's completely clean.

And that is the story of the time I tried to be healthy. Remember kids, if someone offers you fiber, just say "no."

If you want to know how I actually ended up losing my weight I got my jaw broken into 3 parts and went without eating solid food for a month. When all you have to eat is ice cream, juice, and anything you can put in a blender (nothing. it's all disgusting sludge) you kind of lose your appetite.


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#3 2017-08-12 08:08:52

Hostage
Formerly peugeot
From: Hell
Joined: 2015-06-02
Posts: 1,312
Website

Re: Motivation for weight loss

Different55 wrote:

My advice to you is stay away from fiber.

I used to be fat, right?
So I go on fitness websites to find a solution.
My main issue is that I eat like a convenience store dumpster. Apparently things with loads of fiber are going to save my filthy soul. "Fiber is digested slowly," they said. "It makes you feel full longer and helps with digestion." So I go out and buy two big ol' boxes of fiber-heavy breakfast bars.
And on the first day I have fiber bars for breakfast, lunch, and a *lot* of snacks. I don't poop that day.
And on the second day I fiber myself up even more. I don't poop that day either.
The fiber gods are surely working their ancient magic in my colon. I can feel the pounds dropping off because I'm not very hungry anymore.
I don't poop on the third day.
I don't poop on the fourth day.
And then the final day dawned. I have my morning coffee and I start feeling my insides rumble in that horrifyingly familiar way. The second I hit the toilet, the weirdest fart in the world exits me.
It's whistling.
Just a thin, continuous airstream of fart that smells like grandpapa's coffin. No sound other than the whistling hiss. Suddenly, it stops. The hole is plugged.
SOS
It's so solid it feels like I'm giving anal birth to Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. I hang to the shower curtain and pray. The Rock shoots out of my butthole at mach speed. My entire butt is soaked in toilet water.

And that's when the fun began.

A fart that could do more damage to the ozone layer than aerosol ever did is now shooting butt bullets out of me. Just solid and perfectly round poo pellets. And the smell. The smell is killing me. At this point I'm actually starting to black out a little. My vision is starting to get a little hazy around the edges. The thuds of nuggets shooting around the bowl propelled by my insane fiber flatulence is giving me war flashbacks. I wasn't even in 'nam.
And after all of this my guts are now yelling in German at me. Sounds like a moose in heat lives in my belly. Most of the stuff coming out of me by this point isn't even digested. It was just forced out by all the gas that had been building up, turning me into a biological weapon of mass destruction that North Korea would kill for.

After an hour of this it finally seems to be over. I'm shivering and crying. Both of my legs collapse as I try to stand up. My stomach hitting the bathroom tiles forces one last trumpet call.
>gondorcallsforaid.jpg
I shakily wipe my butt. It's completely clean.

And that is the story of the time I tried to be healthy. Remember kids, if someone offers you fiber, just say "no."

If you want to know how I actually ended up losing my weight I got my jaw broken into 3 parts and went without eating solid food for a month. When all you have to eat is ice cream, juice, and anything you can put in a blender (nothing. it's all disgusting sludge) you kind of lose your appetite.

good copypasta thanks diff


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#4 2017-08-12 11:07:40

Abelysk
Formerly Kefka
From: No
Joined: 2015-02-16
Posts: 2,470
Website

Re: Motivation for weight loss

Different55 wrote:

My advice to you is stay away from fiber.

I used to be fat, right?
So I go on fitness websites to find a solution.
My main issue is that I eat like a convenience store dumpster. Apparently things with loads of fiber are going to save my filthy soul. "Fiber is digested slowly," they said. "It makes you feel full longer and helps with digestion." So I go out and buy two big ol' boxes of fiber-heavy breakfast bars.
And on the first day I have fiber bars for breakfast, lunch, and a *lot* of snacks. I don't poop that day.
And on the second day I fiber myself up even more. I don't poop that day either.
The fiber gods are surely working their ancient magic in my colon. I can feel the pounds dropping off because I'm not very hungry anymore.
I don't poop on the third day.
I don't poop on the fourth day.
And then the final day dawned. I have my morning coffee and I start feeling my insides rumble in that horrifyingly familiar way. The second I hit the toilet, the weirdest fart in the world exits me.
It's whistling.
Just a thin, continuous airstream of fart that smells like grandpapa's coffin. No sound other than the whistling hiss. Suddenly, it stops. The hole is plugged.
SOS
It's so solid it feels like I'm giving anal birth to Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. I hang to the shower curtain and pray. The Rock shoots out of my butthole at mach speed. My entire butt is soaked in toilet water.

And that's when the fun began.

A fart that could do more damage to the ozone layer than aerosol ever did is now shooting butt bullets out of me. Just solid and perfectly round poo pellets. And the smell. The smell is killing me. At this point I'm actually starting to black out a little. My vision is starting to get a little hazy around the edges. The thuds of nuggets shooting around the bowl propelled by my insane fiber flatulence is giving me war flashbacks. I wasn't even in 'nam.
And after all of this my guts are now yelling in German at me. Sounds like a moose in heat lives in my belly. Most of the stuff coming out of me by this point isn't even digested. It was just forced out by all the gas that had been building up, turning me into a biological weapon of mass destruction that North Korea would kill for.

After an hour of this it finally seems to be over. I'm shivering and crying. Both of my legs collapse as I try to stand up. My stomach hitting the bathroom tiles forces one last trumpet call.
>gondorcallsforaid.jpg
I shakily wipe my butt. It's completely clean.

And that is the story of the time I tried to be healthy. Remember kids, if someone offers you fiber, just say "no."

If you want to know how I actually ended up losing my weight I got my jaw broken into 3 parts and went without eating solid food for a month. When all you have to eat is ice cream, juice, and anything you can put in a blender (nothing. it's all disgusting sludge) you kind of lose your appetite.

Reminds me of this!


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#5 2017-08-12 11:33:54

XxAtillaxX
Member
From: Canada
Joined: 2015-11-28
Posts: 3,375
Website

Re: Motivation for weight loss

You don't need to hit the gym in order to lose weight, it's better to gain muscle after you lose enough weight.
You can exercise for an hour or so, and essentially lose about the calorie equivalent of a chocolate bar, apparently.

The most effective way to lose weight is by changing your diet, consuming calories under your base metabolic rate.
If you are morbidly obese however, you may want to consider having a gastric bypass surgery, in addition to a diet.

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#6 2017-08-12 11:53:42

jimisssssss
Banned
Joined: 2017-08-12
Posts: 2

Re: Motivation for weight loss

Yoo jim here.

I hope these tips will help you.

:**** diet, you gotta develop a healthy lifestyle.

:Count your macros and calories coz u gotta know what  ure doing.

:Never forget the carbs becoz they dont make u fat.

:You gotta allow yourself a cheat meal once a week.

:Go to the gym at least 3 times a week.

I guess thats all tongue

Would be cool if you would share your progress.

Edit: oops i accidently told u how to lose wait and not how to motivate at all.

Last edited by jimisssssss (2017-08-12 12:02:04)

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#7 2017-08-12 11:57:45

Tomahawk
Member
From: England
Joined: 2015-02-18
Posts: 1,065

Re: Motivation for weight loss

OP didn't ask how to lose weight, but how to motivate himself to lose weight.

Uh, get some friends round for a nice session of fat-shaming? Look at pictures of toned guys and cry yourself to sleep with envy? Go get addicted to a sport and realise you're bad at it because you're fat? Stare at a photo of yourself and tell yourself that there's a skinny guy somewhere inside there, fighting to escape? Eat even more, become obese, get diabetes and then you'll have to slim down or you'll die? Leave the house slightly too late for school every day and miss the school bus because you can't run fast enough to catch it? Walk around in chainmail for a whole day, then realise that losing weight would be like taking off that chainmail? Stick pictures of diseases related to fatness on all the food you own, and before eating that entire roast chicken ask yourself if you want that disease with it? Get a guy to play the tuba behind you while you're waddling along, sweating, and the shame of it will make you skinny?

Hope that helped.


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#8 2017-08-12 12:02:22

Gosha
Banned
From: GLORY TO ARSTOTZKA
Joined: 2015-03-15
Posts: 4,320

Re: Motivation for weight loss

TPJYXTO.png

Last edited by Gosha (2017-08-12 12:03:54)


100--500--1000--1500--2000--2500--3000--3500--4000--4500--5000--9000--9001-10000
Lol, i am banned

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#9 2017-08-12 13:32:09

maxi123
Member
From: code 1234 plz no troll
Joined: 2015-03-01
Posts: 4,294

Re: Motivation for weight loss

Yeah uh she got quite compressed as well


uNct3sf.pngwa2cdu.jpg
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#10 2017-08-12 20:50:26

Abelysk
Formerly Kefka
From: No
Joined: 2015-02-16
Posts: 2,470
Website

Re: Motivation for weight loss

XxAtillaxX wrote:

You don't need to hit the gym in order to lose weight, it's better to gain muscle after you lose enough weight.
You can exercise for an hour or so, and essentially lose about the calorie equivalent of a chocolate bar, apparently.

The most effective way to lose weight is by changing your diet, consuming calories under your base metabolic rate.
If you are morbidly obese however, you may want to consider having a gastric bypass surgery, in addition to a diet.

Thanks, already planning on making major diet changes.

I'm slightly overweight (190 pounds at 6'0") but the fat is in the wrong places. Even though I'm only slight OW I can feel my health taking its toll.


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#11 2017-08-13 12:52:10

Pyromaniac
Official Caroler
Joined: 2015-02-15
Posts: 4,816

Re: Motivation for weight loss

I lost nearly 50 pounds last year, but I did it in an extremely unhealthy way and regret a lot of it. I exercised excessively but wasn't eating anything to fuel it, so I just ended up losing more and more weight without gaining anything in muscle, and I just ended up looking kinda sickly lol. It got to the point where I was eating a small salad for dinner and skipping every other meal/snack. (I'm doing better now, I've been working on eating more and exercising smarter, and have gained a lot of the weight back in muscle, thank god lol)

So obviously, please dont do that. You need to eat. I really dont like the counting calorie method, it just sets you up for unhealthy habits that its REALLY hard to break yourself of. However, diet change is important. But its also important to remember that calories aren't necessarily the enemy. Ive met with a few nutritionists and they've all said the same thing. You just need to switch from eating crap calories (soda, candy, fast food...) to good ones. For me (after I recovered from my foray into eating disorder territory) this involved eating way more vegetables (some with every meal. Preferably leafy greens), cutting soda out completely (and drinking more water), cutting down on things like butter and oil, and making sure I'm getting a measured amount of carbs, protein, and a small amount of GOOD fats (nuts, olive oil...) at every meal. A lot of my meals involve chicken, and I've eaten a lot of quinoa and brown rice. Snacks for me are usually vegetables or nuts, or sometimes protein dense cereal.

Again. I just want to clarify. Its important to eat. Please dont make the same mistake I made by thinking that not eating is equivalent to healthy weight loss. Eat, but eat clean! smile

Also as to what Atilla said- unfortunately, it is fairly important to exercise. Not just for weight loss, but for health in general. I'm pretty sure any nutritionist/dietician will tell you this. It absolutely sucks but it's important. Especially if you're going for some muscle tone.

Remember that cardio is actually one of the least effective ways to lose fat (which sucks because its one of the easier things to do in a gym). Try to balance weight training AND cardio, or try some whole body interval training.

--

As for motivation, try to take pictures of yourself at the beginning and at different stages throughout your weight loss. It can help motivate you to see changes.
Get some friends to hold you accountable, maybe get them to come to the gym with you.
If you live at home, tell your parents or whoever cooks your goals (or your roommates/if someone lives with you if you live away from home) so they can hold you accountable food-wise.

Good luck!!! Keep us posted on how its going smile smile smile

Last edited by Pyromaniac (2017-08-13 12:54:55)

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#12 2017-08-13 21:19:43

Abelysk
Formerly Kefka
From: No
Joined: 2015-02-16
Posts: 2,470
Website

Re: Motivation for weight loss

Very helpful advice, will keep this updated!


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