The EE Bible

32OrtonEdge32dh · Before February 2015

(I know this would be better in Creative, but less people go there and this is still related to EE)
(Please no "sacrilege" comments)
You can see the differences between my version and the original using King James Bible Online and Text Compare.
The order in which the updates appear is not sequential, unless it is, in which case it is.

I am attempting to rewrite the Christian Bible to relate to EE, while changing as little as possible. Let's see how it goes.

GenEEsis 1

1 In the beginning Chris created the code and the first level.

2 And the level was without color, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of Chris moved upon the face of the waters (except water wasn't made until 2012).

3 And Chris said, Let there be a grey block: and there was a grey block.

4 And Chris saw the block, that it was good: and Chris divided the block from the darkness.

5 And Chris called the block Basic, and the darkness he called Background. And this creation was the first day.

6 And Chris said, Let there be a mode in the midst of the players, and let it divide the pros from the nubs.

7 And Chris made the mode, and divided the pros which were in the mode from the nubs which weren't: and it was so.

8 And Chris called the mode God Mode. And the creation was the second day.

9 And Chris said, Let the nubs under the God Mode be gathered together unto one level, and let the dry land appear: and it was so.

10 And Chris called the dry land Blocks; and the gathering together of the waters he called Levels: and Chris saw that it was good.

11 And Chris said, Let the Blocks bring forth grass, New Years lights, and other assorted decorations: and it was so.

12 And the Blocks brought forth grass, New Years lights, and other assorted decorations: and Chris saw that it was good.

13 And the creation was the third day.

14 And Chris said, Let there be a new mode in the mode of God Mode to divide the pros from the super-pros; and let them be rainbow-y:

15 And let them be extra-rainbow-y to give light upon the Blocks: and it was so.

16 And Chris made two great rainbows; the "Benjaminsen" rainbow to be lazy, and the "RPGMaster2000" one to actually do work: he made the other mods also.

17 And Chris set them in the new rainbow-y mode to give light upon the Blocks,

18 And they ruled over all levels, and divided the pros from the nubs: and Chris saw that it was good.

19 And the creation was the fourth day.

20 And Chris said, Let the sites of Kongregate, ArmorGames, et al., bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath life, and are extra nooby.

21 And Chris brought forth nubs, and every player that moveth, which the sites brought forth abundantly, after their kind, and every nub after his kind: and God saw that it was good.

22 And Chris blessed them, saying, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the levels in the lobby, and let nubs multiply in the lobby.

23 And the creation was the fifth day.

24 And Chris said, Let the levels bring forth new smileys for my sheeple to spend exorbitant amounts of money on: and it was so.

25 And Chris made more pros after his kind, and more nubs after their kind, and every lurker that creepeth upon the earth after his kind: and Chris saw that it was good.

26 And Chris said, Let us make troll in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the nubs of the game, and over every non-pro that creepeth upon the game.

27 So Chris created trolls in his own image, in the image of Chris created he him; troll and trollette created he them.

28 And Chris blessed them, and Chris said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the nubs of the stairs, and over the nubs of the box minigames, and over every nub that moveth upon the game.

29 And Chris said, Behold, I have given you magic, which is upon the face of all the levels, and every coin, is possibly a magic-yielding seed; to you it shall be for energy.

30 And to every player of the game, I have given every magic coin for energy: and it was so.

31 And Chris saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. And the creation was the sixth day.

More to come!

Last edited by 32OrtonEdge32dh (Jul 7 2012 4:01:46 pm)

Zakleo · Before February 2015

Clever I like it.

XxAtillaxX · Before February 2015

Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. Does Chris diggith the figgith? Can't wait to hear teh rest. XD

Last edited by ?tilla (Jul 7 2012 5:53:46 am)

Different55 · Before February 2015

I lol'd.

32OrtonEdge32dh · Before February 2015

?tilla wrote:

Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. Does Chris diggith the figgith? Can't wait to hear teh rest. XD

Diggit...the fi...

Buzzerbee · Before February 2015

Not sure if offended or impressed.

32OrtonEdge32dh · Before February 2015

The latter, hopefully.
This'll be slow-going, as it's not easy to rewrite a long-as-hell book about a dull subject.

soccerfreak006 · Before February 2015

hmm.... very good. You could have said instead of "Chris", "He" and then use Chris instead of Christ

32OrtonEdge32dh · Before February 2015

Hmm...I figured with your sig and all you'd be against this.

Buzzerbee · Before February 2015

I'd be against it, but what the hell can you do to stop people messing with the Bible on the internet.

32OrtonEdge32dh · Before February 2015

I heard +repping actually stops them.

XxAtillaxX · Before February 2015

32OrtonEdge32dh wrote:

I heard +repping actually stops them.

Ha, that's like giving a child a piece of candy and then telling them "Shut up."

It's my view of being agnostic yet still holding a view of pantheism that makes
this personally acceptable. XD

It's comedic, and whose one to go against an art for their personal beliefs?

Last edited by ?tilla (Jul 7 2012 9:54:40 am)

soccerfreak006 · Before February 2015

well, I am not really happy with this, but you know what buzzerbee said, you can't stop anybody really

32OrtonEdge32dh · Before February 2015

@Atilla: It was a joke.

NOTE: Each chapter might not be sequential.

GenEEsis 2

1 Thus the levels and the lobby were finished, and all the host of them.

2 And on the seventh day Chris ended his work which he had made; and he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had made, for he is a lazy Chris.

3 And Chris blessed the seventh day, and sanctified it: because that in it he had rested from all his work which Chris created and made; and then he made it every day so that he could be lazy until the end of days.

4 These are the generations of the levels and of the lobby when they were created, in the day that the Admin Chris made the lobby and the levels,

5 And every block of the level before it was placed, and every coin of the level before it gave magic: for the Admin Chris had caused it not to rain magic upon the earth, and there was not a smiley to till the ground.

6 But there went up a mist from the level, and watered the whole face of the ground.

7 And the Admin Chris formed the dead smiley of the level, and breathed into its nostrils the breath of life; and dead smiley became a living smiley.

8 And the Admin Chris created a tutorial level northward in the lobby; and there he put the smiley whom he had formed.

9 And out of the level's border made the Admin Chris to grow every decoration that is pleasant to the sight, and good for on-screen aesthetics; the grass decos also in the midst of the garden.

10 And an admin went out of the tutorial level to add to the ranks; and from thence it was parted, and became into four heads.

11 The name of the first is Cyclone: that is it which compasseth the whole land of Absentia, where there is absentness;

12 And the absentness of that land is good: there is rest and the vending machine.

13 And the name of the second is Toby: the same is it that compasseth the whole land of Normalcy.

14 And the name of the third is RPGMaster2000: that is it which goeth toward the east of Geniusland. And the fourth is MrShoe but no one cares about him.

15 And the Admin Chris took the smiley, and put him into the level of tutorial to dress it and to keep it.

16 And the Admin Chris commanded the smiley, saying, Of every block of the bricks tab thou mayest freely use:

17 But of the block of the knowledge of good and evil, the text block, thou shalt not use of it: for in the day that thou usest thereof thou shalt surely be b&.

18 And the Admin Chris said, It is not good that the smiley should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

19 And out of the ground the Admin Chris formed every block, every background of the game; and brought them unto Guest-1 to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Guest-1 called every block, that was the name thereof.

20 And Guest-1 gave names to all basics, and to the metal, and to every mineral of the game; but for Guest-1 there was not found an help meet for him.

21 And the Admin Chris caused a deep AFK to fall upon Guest-1, and he AFK'ed: and he took one of his pixels, and closed up the yellow pixels instead thereof;

22 And the pixel, which the Admin Chris had taken from Guest-1, made he a Guest-2, and brought her unto Guest-1.

23 And Guest-1 said, This is now pixels of my pixel, and hex codes of my hex codes: she shall be called Guest-2, because she was taken out of Guest-1.

24 Therefore shall a Guest-3 leave his Guest-1 and his Guest-2, and shall cleave unto his Guest-4: and they shall be one 16x16 pixel smiley.

25 And they were both the nooby smiley face, the Guest-1 and his Guest-2, and were not ashamed.

Last edited by 32OrtonEdge32dh (Jul 7 2012 3:14:22 pm)

Wolf exile1 · Before February 2015

BuzzerBee wrote:

Not sure if offended or impressed.

This.

ABC Boy · Before February 2015

Make more! make more! please!

32OrtonEdge32dh · Before February 2015

Probably tomorrow.

Muffin · Before February 2015

Are you seriously doing the whole book? Isn't it like super long?

32OrtonEdge32dh · Before February 2015

planecool · Before February 2015

I do not like this but what the heck can i do to stop it...

YSstory · Before February 2015

32OrtonEdge32dh wrote:

http://vz.iminent.com/vz/19d402f0-fe24- … y-meme.gif

Why am I lol'ng.

Arceus64 · Before February 2015

Jesus approves.

32OrtonEdge32dh · Before February 2015

What sort of cropping is that?!

Arceus64 · Before February 2015

32OrtonEdge32dh wrote:

What sort of cropping is that?!

It's my amazing computer skills (Which suck badly)

soccerfreak006 · Before February 2015

that picture was kind of offensive Arceus.

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