Story time! ;o;o;o;o;o;o

daneeko · 2015-10-09 04:52:58

these are all wow

but i dont have a such embarrasing moment

iPwner · 2015-10-09 05:04:21

The most recent one was today...

I was in class and people around me wanted to see me do a knife-through-head impression. (One in which I would slowly slide it past the back of my

head and scream a muted "AAAAAAAAAAAA") Unfortunately, I had no plastic knife around to slide past the back of

my head... so instead I used a nearby water bottle which I thought was capped. I did a knife through head impression (in this case, subtituting the knife with a

water bottle); but what I didn't realize was that the water bottle was open.

A muted scream flew from my lips and out into space as time slowed to a stop... a sun-spotted glob of water glided through the air and seemed to

pause time for a second. It was almost as if it whispered, "got 'em" ever so sinisterly as it horrendously drenched my baby-smooth face. My mouth

formed into an "o" shape as my eyes formed into an undescribable expression, the closest of which can be described with this photo: .

As I felt the harsh coldness of reality sploosh into my face, stinging my eyesack with germs and disease, I was knocked back by my own shock, cupping

my own stomach as my chair went whirling through the air. Hordes of laughter began to encroach as my hairline "baDOINGed" against the floor. The

laughter just kept coming, like tsunamis of pure joy striking betwixt my pristine buns so hard and so fast with utmost precision that it gave me a headache. My cerebral

audio flickered, and my vision turned white, as I cupped my head and scritched "AHHHHHHH" melodramatically. Why had I done this? How did this happen? I

pumped in and out of my brain searching for answers. As I tried to pick myself up from this striking defeat, I was only simmered down like scratched

sandpaper when the bell sexually molested my inner ear, and the evil nerds swarmed around me and blarbed, "get rekt" in circular succession at least 8

times each. As the "get rekts" grew louder and fiercer I felt my heart literally pounding in and out of my chest frubulantly and louder and faster and

faster and more loving for the art of dark, and when the next "get rekt" phrase finally struck me and my heart palpulation were up to 1200 a second, in

destitute I screeched "no, no, NOOOO!!!" A sloblord phatto then sprinted to me and cannonballed his feet into my face, jumping up and down and up

and down and up and down on my plump little face as a little Mexican girl screeched "PSH PSH - you crezzy!" kicking me twice with her high heel shoes.

As the stomps subsinuated and I was well 50 feet deep into the earth, the phat az took an everlasting poop directly onto my face which covered up all

50 feet of the crevicial grave that was made for me. And what happened next? Well, you guessed it...

-

I died.

~iPwner

Pingohits, Anch

CatoniC · 2015-10-09 14:42:11

iPwner wrote:

The most recent one was today...
I was in class and people around me wanted to see me do a knife-through-head impression. (One in which I would slowly slide it past the back of my
head and scream a muted "AAAAAAAAAAAA") Unfortunately, I had no plastic knife around to slide past the back of
my head... so instead I used a nearby water bottle which I thought was capped. I did a knife through head impression (in this case, subtituting the knife with a
water bottle); but what I didn't realize was that the water bottle was open.

A muted scream flew from my lips and out into space as time slowed to a stop... a sun-spotted glob of water glided through the air and seemed to
pause time for a second. It was almost as if it whispered, "got 'em" ever so sinisterly as it horrendously drenched my baby-smooth face. My mouth
formed into an "o" shape as my eyes formed into an undescribable expression, the closest of which can be described with this photo: https://i.imgflip.com/2/8u2b.jpg.
As I felt the harsh coldness of reality sploosh into my face, stinging my eyesack with germs and disease, I was knocked back by my own shock, cupping
my own stomach as my chair went whirling through the air. Hordes of laughter began to encroach as my hairline "baDOINGed" against the floor. The
laughter just kept coming, like tsunamis of pure joy striking betwixt my pristine buns so hard and so fast with utmost precision that it gave me a headache. My cerebral
audio flickered, and my vision turned white, as I cupped my head and scritched "AHHHHHHH" melodramatically. Why had I done this? How did this happen? I
pumped in and out of my brain searching for answers. As I tried to pick myself up from this striking defeat, I was only simmered down like scratched
sandpaper when the bell sexually molested my inner ear, and the evil nerds swarmed around me and blarbed, "get rekt" in circular succession at least 8
times each. As the "get rekts" grew louder and fiercer I felt my heart literally pounding in and out of my chest frubulantly and louder and faster and
faster and more loving for the art of dark, and when the next "get rekt" phrase finally struck me and my heart palpulation were up to 1200 a second, in
destitute I screeched "no, no, NOOOO!!!" A sloblord phatto then sprinted to me and cannonballed his feet into my face, jumping up and down and up
and down and up and down on my plump little face as a little Mexican girl screeched "PSH PSH - you crezzy!" kicking me twice with her high heel shoes.
As the stomps subsinuated and I was well 50 feet deep into the earth, the phat az took an everlasting poop directly onto my face which covered up all
50 feet of the crevicial grave that was made for me. And what happened next? Well, you guessed it...

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

I died.

~iPwner

dats interesting asf and detailed.. but guess wat?? AINT NOBODY GOT TIME FO DAT

Pingohits · 2015-10-09 15:00:44

It was my first time out in the wild here.

I was cleaning out my gun when this other guy entered the room.

Everyone stared at him, and he stared back.

He put down his rifle and sat in the corner and lit a cigar, and we watched as the smoke rose up and up and up...

...

Maybe 2 or 3 weeks passed? I don't know what time it was. I don't know what time we would be deployed out there. It scared me.

That dude in the corner, he looked pretty Japanese to me. They must've made a mistake, putting a Japanese into our crew. We're not going to get along well, due to the war.

...

Three months have passed. I had nothing but luncheon meat and peas for lunch, and a brothy soup for dinner. We were restless. Even the new guy stopped lighting cigars and stared out the window all day.

...

Alas, the moment we've been waiting for.

The general told us to put on our gear as quick as we can and meet in the dock. We'll be traveling to our destination by boat.

...

It was a horrible trip. No food, no water. Just our crew, the general, and the other guy. The other guy was a cool guy. He spoke English well, and seems to have a good understanding of what we do around here. I don't blame him. It's those pesky imperials we want to kill.

The boat stopped humming.

It is time.

...

What we've seen was nothing like it. We were here to fight, not watch one. We all turned our heads to a very sharp noise coming from a distant school. The school was aflame. We all dropped our things and attempted to get into there, but the general refused for us to do such an act. We were here to fight, not watch one. But that Japanese, his name was Shima, by the way, just forgot entirely what the general said and burst into the school.

We just stood there.

...

It's been 10 minutes. It was a stupid move.

Finally, against all odds, I saw a speck in the smoke that turned into a larger speck, and that turned into a big speck with multiple little specks behind it. It was Shima, and at least twenty students from the school. We cheered and shot our guns. The general wasn't here to see this.

...

Back in the US, Shima was given some sort of medal and was given a congratulatory speech. We all bowed. It was a selfless thing, what he did.

Sad news is, Shima wants out. He doesn't want to be in the war anymore. This was when the bombs were dropped. I remember when I turned on the television to see Japan getting exploded and all that, Shima turned away and I never saw him for two days.

We all felt guilty.

...

As Shima walked away and bid his finally goodbye, I grabbed his shoulder. He was a friend. He was the most selfless friend I've ever met.

I gripped his shoulder. He gripped mine. I said, with glee in my voice,

"You're a hero, Shima."

And I walked away and heard my laughter echo across the hall.

<end>

Zoey2070, skullz17, Anch, CatoniC

Official Everybody Edits Forums

#26 2015-10-09 04:52:58

Re: Story time! ;o;o;o;o;o;o

#27 2015-10-09 05:04:21, last edited by iPwner (2015-10-09 05:20:20)

Re: Story time! ;o;o;o;o;o;o

#28 2015-10-09 14:42:11

Re: Story time! ;o;o;o;o;o;o

#29 2015-10-09 15:00:44, last edited by Pingohits (2015-10-09 15:02:10)

Re: Story time! ;o;o;o;o;o;o

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