"My friend is dead" Topics.

Koto · Before February 2015

Look, when dealing with someone dying, you don't have to voice your opinion coldly. And GG, debating about how much people care about people dying is not the kind of discussion we should be having on these forums, because some one's bound to end up hurt, even if its just some forum lurker that's never posted that just happens to come across this, maybe a couple days after a loved one has passed. I understand that something like that is personal, but I have the right to share it if I want. I understand that people may troll, and make jokes on forums about his death, but if its not just some random user, and someone that's been here longer, and has made more contributions here, it tends to sting a little more, than if it was say epicstonemason, or some other well hated person. If you don't feel sorry, or simply don't care, there's nothing that says you have to post about it. Just move on and ignore it if you really don't care, because do you REALLY want to waste your time on this subject if it makes you uncomfortable?

FruitMonster2 · Before February 2015

Could a mod just lock this?

I mean seriously, just because you have someone die in your life doesn't mean you have to go tell everyone in the world. It's a private issue. Lying or not, it's something that your family and friends should know about. Not everyone on the internet, especially a game site full of little kids who, most likely, will troll you and call you out on it. So, please, just keep this stuff to yourself. Thanks.

supadorf24 · Before February 2015

FruitMonster2 wrote:

Could a mod just lock this?

Why?

Tako · Before February 2015

I tried to be as nice as possible, but apparently I sound cruel either way.

I'm curious, did you read my little list at all? I spent a lot of time making it

1) We're random strangers
2) There's no proof
3) It's personal, not public information.
4) I know it's really sad, but why would we care?
None of us know your father, so it's the equivalent of a random stranger dying. We see random strangers die everywhere. On the news, in magazines, on the radio, in hospitals, occasionally in public. Did you know someone dies every three seconds? Death is a common part of life. It's all around us, everywhere you look. I have accepted this, and I'm sure you have as well. I don't freak out when a random stranger dies. I could honestly care less, because in no way am I effected by him or her.
5) If you want empathy, who do you talk to? Random strangers or someone you know?
6) If you want attention, who do you talk to? Random strangers or someone you know?

Let's focus on the last two, mkay? I've really put some thought into this and came up with a solution.

Having an overactive imagination, I visualize the forums as a big room. People come, people go, people have conversations in groups, various people & moderators go from conversation to conversation, etc, etc.

But there's this one group. The speaker is talking about how his brother died. How would you vision that? Someone who is obviously very sad and confused, upset? Betrayed? Lost?

Well, that's what I'd like to imagine too. If this WERE the real world, I'm sure he would be very upset in such a way we could tell just by looking at him.

But then we're reminded that this is a forum, not a big room. There is very little emotion in the way we speak. And that, is the hinge. It's quite difficult to distinguish between someone who's earnestly hurt and depressed and someone who, has indeed lost someone, but their alleged death is not stated with sincerity, but in a manner where they just want someone to give them attention.

This is what makes a forum a bad place to seek empathy. Because, we can't tell if you're earnest or not.

The solution? Inject emotion into your words. Tell us that you're really hurt, and that you want empathy. This will make it so much easier to distinguish between people who just want attention and people who want help and sympathy.

[/topic]

Last edited by Tako (Aug 28 2011 9:53:33 pm)

Master1 · Before February 2015

lol how long is this takoman v/s ozone contest thing gonna last

Tako · Before February 2015

I'm done. I've fully expressed my opinion toward the topic.

Wolf exile1 · Before February 2015

FruitMonster2 wrote:

Could a mod just lock this?
I mean seriously, just because you have someone die in your life doesn't mean you have to go tell everyone in the world. It's a private issue. Lying or not, it's something that your family and friends should know about. Not everyone on the internet, especially a game site full of little kids who, most likely, will troll you and call you out on it. So, please, just keep this stuff to yourself. Thanks.

Why would someone lock it?

Koto · Before February 2015

...Yeah, but If I chose to put a little thing in my sig, I should be allowed to, I can make it however public I want. I kinda get where your coming from tako, but I wasn't doing it for attention, If I wanted that, I would made a topic, and I definitely didn't want people going up to me saying they're sorry all the time, that can get overwhelming. I was just trying to put a little something here to remember him, and I don't think that's worth fighting over. I'm not trying to be mean, and I know your not intending to, but I don't really feel all bummed out atm, It's been 4 years, some healing has happened. Either way, I'm done with this discussion, I don't want to spend all my time arguing over the Internet, and I'm sure you have better things to do, too.

Tako · Before February 2015

Well, the thing is, when you put it in your signature you're broadcasting it to about 50+ people. And when you make a topic, you get anywhere from 20 - 100+ views.

Even if you're sincere and you legitimately want empathy from others, you still look like you just want attention.

To me, you need something pretty darn severe to happen to you if you need the help of 50 people. Chimi's situation was the only one where it would be reasonable to make a topic about it, in my opinion.

And this is why I say it's a personal problem, not a public one. I know it's hard for you, but you don't need 50 people's help.

Pugmatt · Before February 2015

I agree, don't ruin meh days with sadness T_T not our bussiness, its yours.

ani · Before February 2015

Vote for Tako.

Yes I did read all that text

Tako · Before February 2015

FuzzySocks wrote:

Vote for Tako.
Yes I did read all that text

Good job.

Koto · Before February 2015

OMG, you guys are STILL going on about this? I put something in a sig, BIG FREAKING DEAL. Get over it, geez. I don't know chimi's situation, but I never made a topic about mine. So, stop acting like i'm going around trying to get attention wherever I go, because that's not what i'm doing. Don't make mountains out of molehills, dude, and stop reviving a dead argument, because that make YOU look like your trying to get attention, imo >.>

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